 What's going on you guys? We have a very special episode of the single guy channel today. We have two special guests We have mr. Dave Barada and David how to beast So a lot of you guys know these people already, so it's a pleasure to have them on the program right now What we're gonna do is we're gonna cover several different text messages Okay, so the first text message that we're gonna cover is something that I've seen a lot of my students And I'm sure Dave and you David as well seen guys make these kinds of messages before This is kind of like the bad version of it So we're gonna show you the bad version What this guy sends and then we're gonna show you a better version of what he could have sent and probably gotten a better reaction So let's don't write into the text messages. You ready guys? Let's go. All right, cool So here's the simple example basically he got this girl's number or not number But he matched with her off of a dating app and so he starts out pretty frickin boring So there's not too much wrong I see at the beginning But he just basically starts with hey, and then she responds with hey Explanation mark and then he's like what's up, and then she's like nothing much. How are you question mark? And he says I'm chilling. So what do we think of this so far? you got that this girl seems like pretty excited to talk to you but You're not like making it easy right you want to make it easy Like remove the friction of her having to think of the next thing to say because a lot of people are just gonna get Uncomfortable. Yeah, and just stop replying. Absolutely. So I call this guy the mr. Cool guy Basically, he's been too cool for school, and you're gonna see how it gets a little worse and worse this time goes on But I think exactly right so she's like I'm chillin. She's like ha ha. Okay. It's like, you know How do you respond to that? She basically the saying the best thing and he goes immediately into it He goes so you want to send me that phone number question mark? And she responds with um can we talk here a little bit here first? I just want to get to know you more And then afterwards he says yeah, I'm not trying to waste time Either you want this or you don't and then she says okay I'm not sure if I do and then he ends with cool, and that's the end of the text Dude there's nothing after that man So a lot of problems with that conversation first like you've given her no substance at all It's all right to go for the number after a couple takes But you're gonna like try to show off a little bit of your personality like a little something in there So she knows I alright this guy ain't a freaking in a weirdo. He at least has like a little bit of social intelligence Here he didn't do any of that. Yeah, absolutely Um, he's like I said, he's just trying to be Mr. Cool man Trying to say the most cool alpha thing and he's not doing anything to build a connection with this woman Yeah, since those messages on the date nap doesn't make you like cool alpha. It's it's uh You're just gonna waste your time and like the girls aren't they're not gonna feel comfortable meeting up with you Just from a quick conversation on a date nap, right, right? And so there's a few things I mean he asked for the number really quickly I actually think that's okay, but he just didn't have any reason for her to give her number out to him Like why would a girl give her number out to some guy who's just being like too cool for school and being like kind of a dick Honestly, yeah, like there's just no reason to you know I've been in the reverse of this and a lot of y'all have probably been in the reverse this where you're talking to a girl It's like you're like banging your head against the wall I'm trying to like pull teeth here And then you're like if I get on date with this girl a lot of times you do get on date with a girl It's like the same thing man It's a fucking girl like but it's the same thing a girl's not gonna be want to hang out with you if this is boring Yeah, yeah other than him being cold like he's not showing any of his personality He's not giving her anything to work with and there's no chance that anything can actually happen from this So I see a lot of guys sending this message and I think it comes from a little bit of insecurity You know, they don't want to show their personalities They're afraid the girls gonna reject them and at least you know Maybe he says it like this and at least he feels like he looks cool or it looks I don't know Whatever looks like a badass after he's done it And I've seen a lot of guys text this and when they look at they send me the message and they're like Lloyd Why didn't she respond and I'm like dude, you literally just wrote cool What do you want her to say to that bro? Nothing to talk about. Yeah, you have to leave the conversation as a guy If you don't do that don't expect her to do it for you Yeah, I mean if you have a if you have a confident personality You're going to put yourself out there a little bit and this guy has done none of that and there's no surprise that she Yeah, you know talk to her talk to her in the way that she did she was actually be really friendly at the beginning Like I think to this girl actually really liked him and you know, he kind of wasted that opportunity All right, so let's look at a better version Okay, very similar situation this person matched with this girl on a dating app And so the first message that he sends is I'm going to take a wild guess and say that your third picture was at Coachella She goes not quite. It was at this festival called electric forest And then he says ha ha I've heard of that one before are you also getting withdrawals from not being able to festival anymore? And she says oh my god. Yes, I want to be at EDC so badly this year So already how does this sound so far in comparison to the last message that we've read I was like he found a common interest and he You know use that to like empathize with her and do this but something that they're both passionate about I could care less about festivals myself, but that's a powerful thing to do with anyone Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't matter what you start with but I always like to comment on something with her profile You know and he's putting himself out there too by saying hey, you know like I've heard of Coachella I've heard of electric force and stuff like that. He's actually giving them something to talk about was before the guy Was giving them pretty much nothing What do you think did now? He really spiced it up like he like like B said he really empathized He made it he made it easy for her to respond and now that she has a connection She knows they both like festivals. Yeah, this could go somewhere exactly So a lot of people might say oh well, what if I can't see a connection? What if I haven't been to Coachella? So there's three ways to make a connection number one is if you've had a shared experience Number two is if you've known someone who's had that shared experience like maybe a friend did that So in this case, I said oh, I've never been to that but I've had friends who've gone And the last way is just to say hey listen I've never heard anything about that would love to learn more like please tell me more about it So that's three ways that you can make a connection regardless of whether you've actually done the thing that they've done or not Okay, so she says So an example of the last thing would be like yeah because I'm not someone who's going to festivals But I saw a girl and I might not be super attracted like a crazy festival girl Let's say I was like all right. She seems cool. Some other photos are cool. Yeah, I could be like Wow that that third photo looks intense like you a big festival girl, huh? And then now then she might be like yeah, like I'm so obsessed. I love him. How about you? I've never gone like but then you could still ask the follow-up question. They are like why why do you enjoy them so much exactly? Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It gives her the opportunity to kind of show you something Learn more about her and you're not doing it in a way That's like you're trying to pretend like you already know what she's talking about which a lot of guys do it It gets into a lot of trouble Okay, cool. So she says like I said, oh my god. Yes, I want to be at EDC so badly this year Little sad face and then I go me too. That's why my friends and I go to some of these smaller silent discos Do you know what those are? Question mark and she says I've never been to one, but I would love to go And you say ha ha nice. Yes, they are super fun I'd love to see you there sometime and she goes that sounds nice smiley face So it's going pretty well And then he says yeah, you'd have a lot of fun By the way, I don't get on here much Do you mind if we text and then she goes I suppose and then guys the smiley face and then it gives all of the Numbers after that. Yeah, so I was gonna say like that's a it's a solid like wrap up in terms of like like how How he led into it, but I think maybe what beast is gonna say to you It's probably that you might have been able to even leave that a little bit better Mm-hmm, right instead of like yeah, you'd have a lot of fun But why don't we start with the drink to make sure if you're cool or something like that first to kind of like Lead things in into some something that like tangible because they're not probably gonna go to a silent disco for the first day, right? Probably not But what I liked about it though was he was kind of testing the waters He was saying I'd love to see you there sometime not organizing a date no definite plans He's just seeing if she's like not a little bit of a future projection I'm doing something like that in the future. The first date probably isn't gonna be a sign of disco It's probably just gonna be something a lot more casual getting a cup of coffee getting a drink Even girls going for a walk through a park. It would have even better I recommend the more casual things but he's testing the waters and seeing if she's like interested to possibly do that in the future Yeah, he probably could have skipped the last three messages and just said you seem really cool Do you want to hang out sometime and almost definitely she would have given him the phone number Yeah, and it might have happened quicker But if anything this is an example that because he was empathizing and sending easy to reply to text messages They were showing interest in her like even though he didn't take the super like alpha like leading approach Yeah, it's still worked. Yeah, absolutely. And so like even though there was some stuff this guy could have improved I thought it was miles better than the first one that we saw just because you know, he's actually showing his personality He's actually trying to find common interests, you know, and he's leading it somewhere now There's a reason for them to talk in the future You know, maybe she he can send her the address of the next silent disco that's happening Or maybe they can talk about other festivals that they like to go to before the other guy had no reason No point no connections So it's not a surprise that she didn't want to give that phone number up Well, I think it's kind of an interesting point. I don't think anyone loves using dating apps It loves the idea of using dating apps Maybe like the dopamine hit you get from the validation and the matches like you do enjoy but If you take something that people don't already love that they have to do and then you make it even harder by sending like the most Just like stale text messages. Yeah This is not gonna work. You're already making a bad situation even worse Yeah, you know like have some fun with it like everyone like like you said Most girls hate them too and my principle is like I'm trying to get her off the dating app as quickly as possible But there's a good way about doing it and there's I'm not so good way about doing it. Cool All right, you guys well if you got a lot out of this, please subscribe to my YouTube channel Please subscribe to Dave's and how to be so I'm sure you guys have seen some of them already But they break down a lot of this stuff too. They talk a lot about confidence working out and how to be a better man in General thanks for watching you guys We'll see you soon. Good luck out there