 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young's father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. If an arrow rises, it must fall. If a river flows, it must bend. And be they long or be they small, all vacations have an end. In Springfield, which is still an average town, live the Andersons, just an average American family with the average American trials and tribulations. Their car is rolling rapidly toward the White Frame House on Maple Street. And as they return from a long summer holiday at Round Lake, it might be interesting to note the thoughts which occupy their minds. For instance, there's Kathy, aged nine. Gee, back to school. Bud, who is 15. Gosh, next week we have to go back to school. And Betty, who is a very adult 17. Jumping creepers, next week we have to go back to school. Then of course there's Margaret, the mother of the brood. Next week the children go back to school. Last but by no means least, father himself, Jim Anderson. Well, it won't be long now. Here's Maple. There's Jimmy Woody! Jimmy! Sit down, will ya? Bud, stop pushing. I'm not pushing. Kathy's standing on my foot. Kathleen, sit still and behave yourself. I was saying hello to Jimmy. There'll be plenty of time for that. Jim. Hmm? Are you sure everything's all right at the house? Of course everything's all right. Why? Well, you look just like a boy with his hand in the jam part. And if you've done anything... Susie! I have to jump out the window. Look what she did to my shoe. I did not. You certainly did. I certainly didn't. You certainly did. I certainly didn't. Kathy, will you please stop screeching in my ear? I certainly was. I certainly was. Wait, that's enough. Well, she said I was screeching in her ear. I said that's enough. And I wasn't. Hey, where's the house? Well, that's a relief. What do you mean by that? Oh, nothing. It's just that when you get that peculiar look on your face, I never know what to expect. I thought maybe you had the house painted purple or something. Now, see here, Margaret. I know you mean well, but whenever the children and I go away, you get such weird ideas about the house. Oh, like the barbecue pit I built last summer. I suppose that was a weird idea. No, it was fine until it fell apart. How about the year you decided to turn the playroom into a bowling alley? Never mind. So, for the year you painted the living room green and Mom had to send all the- I said never mind. Oh, gosh, I was only trying to hell. Kathleen, right after dinner, you go to bed. But I didn't say anything. I know just what you were thinking, and I won't stand for it. Kathleen. Well, don't just sit there, bud. We're home. Let's get the luggage into the house. Okay, Dad. The man takes a little extra pride in his home and what happens? People make fun of him. Treat him like the village idiot. Oh, Jim, we weren't making fun of you. You certainly were. You thought I was going to paint the house purple. No, I didn't, dear. I merely said- Joe! Hey, Joe! Bud, come back here. Where do you think you're going? I just saw Joe Phillips. Well, take a look at the suitcases. They come first. Holy cow. Kathy! Yes, Daddy? That is not where we live. This is our house, the white one. You can see Patty in the morning, dear. Right now we've all got to help your father. Gee whiz. Well, I guess that's about everything. Jim. Margaret, there's nothing to worry about. I haven't done anything to the house. Nothing much, anyway. Oh, dear. Kathy, push the water bottle under my chin. It's slipping. Want me to carry it? Just push it over a little. Oh, why can't I carry it? Kathy! People go away all the time and come home all the time. They don't get into things like this. Only this family. If we so much as go across the street- Dad, these bags are getting heavy. Well, put them down. Don't you want me to take them inside? Naturally, I want you to take them inside. How can I take them inside if I put them down? Margaret. It's all right, dear. I have my keys. There we are. Kathy, hold the screen door open until we get in. Yes, Daddy. See if you can manage not to break it. Break the screen door? I don't know, but don't try to find out. All right, bud. Let's go. I don't think I can make it. This little bag feels like it's got rocks in it. Kathy, what have you got in your suitcase? Rocks. Rocks? Special rocks. I'm saving them. God, we haven't got enough rocks in Springfield. She has to bring a suitcase full of them back from round late. But they're all different colors. Oh, bud, take them out in back of the garage and dump them. Okay. But it's practically a collection. I saved them all summer. Well, dump them carefully, bud. Mother, my arms are falling off. All right, dear. We're going right in. Let me get this bag through the door, will you? Man, that's a good girl. We're home. How does it look? Well, it looks wonderful. Simply wonderful. I had Mrs. Nielsen come in last Friday and give it a good cleaning. Oh, that was very thoughtful. I don't see anything different, do you, mother? No, dear. Everything looks just the way it should. Whew. Gosh, these coats are heavy. Oh, Betty, you can't just dump them in a chair like that. You know where they belong. Okay, I'll hang them up. Just a minute, Betty. I've made a few little changes around the house, just minor changes. Jim? Well, it's something I've had in mind for quite a few years. You see, the way I figure there isn't much difference between a home and an office, so far as efficiency is concerned, anyway. Jim, a home isn't like an office. You can't run them the same way. Of course you can. And where do you see what I've done? Everything's neat and tidy and orderly. The way things ought to be. I hope you know what you're doing. All right, Betty, put the coats in the closet before they get all wrinkled. Oh, keyed out. And then see what happened to Bud and Kathy. If nothing... Stop talking and do as you're told. Yes, father. That girl can talk more and say less than any 10 people in Springfield. Jim... And she certainly doesn't get it from my side of the family. I'll tell you that. Jim... I've never heard anyone talk so much in my entire life. All the way down from Round Lake. Talk, talk, talk. Jim... Oh, silent one. Yeah? Do you mind if I say something? Of course not. You know that's a ridiculous question. Well, I have another ridiculous question. What have you done to the house? I've instituted a little system, that's all, and it's about time. There certainly are. They're in the box. The hangers are in a box? That's right. There's nothing that looks sillier than a bunch of empty coat hangers. Besides, they don't do anything but catch dust. What box? The box under the box with the galoshes. Jim, it's taken me 15 years to train the children to hang up their coats. And now you've hidden the hangers. Oh, I haven't. I put them where they belong. It's part of the system. You haven't rearranged the entire house that way, have you? More or less. Oh, Jim. Now don't get upset, Margaret. The least you can do is give the system a chance. But if you aren't home, we'll never be able to find anything. Yes, you will. I spent a whole week making a catalog. Everything is entered in its proper place. Dishes, silver, linen. Everything's been put away systematically and entered in the catalog. Jim Anderson, do you mean that in order to find a plate in the cupboard, I've got to look it up in a catalog? That's right, under sea. Sea? Dishes under sea? I filed them under China. That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. It isn't ridiculous at all. You've been complaining for years that you haven't had enough closets. Well, when I got through rearranging things, I had two closets left over. I'm not going to say a thing, not a single thing. This moment, I don't dare. Father, there isn't any key. The key is where it belongs with all the other keys. They're all tagged, labeled, and filed very systematically. Where? Margaret, I wish you'd stopped looking at me that way. I was merely trying to be helpful. I know it isn't easy to get used to a new system, but you will. Say, Dad. I don't want to give it to him. Here's a letter for you, Dad. It was special delivery, and I signed for it. It's on the bank. So I see. Where do you think a bank would be if they didn't have a system? They'd be broken a week. We're not running a bank. No? Well, when some of the bills come in from the department stores... No, it's impossible. What's the matter, Father? Is something wrong, dear? I'm not overdrawn. How could I possibly be overdrawn? Well, they have a system. Margaret, this is not a joking matter. The day I left for Round Lake just a week ago Friday, I deposited over $700. How could I be overdrawn? Maybe their system didn't work. Your darn right it didn't work. Just as soon as I find my checkbook... Isn't it in the desk drawer? No, I, uh... put it someplace else. Part of the reorganization? Yes, I put it in a much more logical place. A very logical place. Only I can't remember exactly where. Uh, why don't you look it up in the catalog? The, uh, catalog? Well, that's where you entered everything, isn't it? Well, you see, that's what I've been trying to tell you, Margaret. I was trying to get everything ready for you and the kids when you got home, and I had the catalog all finished and everything, but... Jim, you didn't. Uh-huh, I lost it. Oh, no! Best cup of coffee I ever tasted. Tomorrow, right at your table, you can hear that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am, he'll be there. Because the world's greatest coffee expert is your husband. Now, naturally, we think we're pretty fair experts. After all, our Maxwell House coffee is America's favorite brand, but the final judge is that man of yours. And if you'll just put a cup of Maxwell House in front of him, we're mighty sure you'll hear him say, Best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, we'll give you your money back if he doesn't. You see, no coffee's made like Maxwell House, and that's why no coffee tastes like Maxwell House. No other coffee has that famous good to the last drop flavor. Get Maxwell House tomorrow and serve it to your husband. And if he doesn't say it's the coffee for him, just return the can and unused portion to us, and we'll gladly refund the price you've paid. You'll find our address right on the front of that familiar blue tin. So tomorrow, see how much the world's greatest coffee expert enjoys Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. It's only minutes later in the White Frame House on Maple Street, and the future looks dismal and dark for the family known as Anvison. Father with his brilliant new system has disorganized the entire household, but it won't be for long. You know how it is with life, it's always darkest before the dawn. And though everything may seem quite grim at the moment, there's really no need to be concerned. Just hang around for a little while and gradually things will get worse. They're in the basement. I know. Jim, the first thing we've got to do is find the keys. We can't live in a house where everything is locked up. If I could only remember what I did with the cattle. I'll settle for the keys. Can't you remember where you put them? I put them in a drawer. Which drawer? I don't remember. Anyway, I locked the drawer. So what good would it do if I did remember? You locked the drawer with all the keys in it? Well, naturally. Then I put that key somewhere else. Where? In a towel. I think it was a towel. Maybe it was a pillowcase. Jim. But it's all written down in the catalog. If you find that, there'll be nothing to worry about. Except trying to get this house back in order again. Margaret, there's one thing you refuse to recognize. Doing it my way, I had two closets left over. And there's one thing you refuse to recognize. We have two trunks and five suitcases to unpack. How many closets do you think will have left over then? Oh, I guess I forgot about that. Well, anyway, I tried. I'm not worried about the closets, at least they're open. But all those locked drawers and missing keys, what are we going to do about them? We'll have to make a thorough search, that's all. But... He went out to get the rest of the luggage, dear. Any time the doorbell rings, he manages to do something else. But you sent him for it. Well, how did I know the bell was going to ring? Haven't even been home 15 minutes. You'd think people would have the decency to let you get your hat off before they start ringing the doorbell. Jim, my boy! Oh, hello, Mr. Gribble. Come on in. I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Oh, no. We were just sitting around playing a little game of button-button who's got the button. Uh, yes. Jim, I've got news for you, the most wonderful news you've ever heard. It wouldn't have anything to do with a catalog, would it? What? Well, that's sort of a key subject around here right now. I see. Who is it, Jim? Gribble, honey. I can't stay very long. Just stop by on my way to the club. Start the car in the driveway, you know. Oh, hello, Mrs. Anderson. Nice to see you back. Oh, it's nice to be back. That is, it might be, sometimes soon. Yes. There's no place like home. That's what I always say. The old familiar haunts with everything in its place and a place for everything. Isn't it the truth? Yes. You said something about good news, JP. I did? Oh, yes, I did, didn't I? Jim, my boy, I've done it. Yes, sir. After three years, I've finally done it. No. Yes. Well, that's great. What did you do? Why, I've gotten the Springfield Athletic Club to open its membership list. Not far, mind you. Just far enough to let you in. Now, what do you think of that? The Athletic Club? Oh, that's wonderful, JP. It really is, isn't it, Margaret? Oh, yes, I'm just goose bumps all over. I'm finally going to get into the Athletic Club. Well, I've got to get down there right away, so if you'll just let me have a check for $125. A check? For your application, my boy. I want to get it in before they change their minds. You want me to give you a check? What's the matter with you, Jim? Don't you want to join? Oh, yes, I wanted to join for the last five years. Well, then stop staring at me like a congenital moron and give me a check for $125. A check for $125. Mr. Gribble, we might as well tell you. I left my checkbook at the office. That's what we wanted to say. Wasn't it, Margaret? I guess so, dear. If that's what you say. Well, there's nothing criminal about that. Of course not. I'll drop by the bank first thing in the morning and then I'll leave a check at your office. How'll that be? Oh, that won't be necessary. It won't be any trouble, JP. And I don't think it's right for you to lay out all that money. Who said anything about that? You banked with the merchants, don't you? Well, here's one of my blank checks. You can use that. Oh. Well, uh... Is that you, bud? I guess so. Well, come on in, bud. Mr. Gribble's here. Jim, if you'll just make out a check for $125. I want you to meet Bud, JP. He's a fine boy. I met your son when he was two years old. Now, if you'll just make out a check. Bud, you know Mr. Gribble, don't you? Sure. How are you, Mr. Gribble? I'm beginning to wonder. Jim, Mr. Gribble's a great baseball fan, bud. Why don't the two of you talk about baseball while I get on the phone? I don't know one of the baseball bats from the other. All I want... Look, I'll make out the check and all you have to do is sign it. How'll that be? Oh, that'll be fine. Just fine. I've got all the bags in there. Now, can I go see Joe? No. I want you to stay here and, uh... Why don't you get Mr. Gribble a drink? What kind of a drink? Well, any kind of a drink. Water, anything. I don't care. How about a nice glass of water, JP? Thank you, no. Go ahead, bud. Get Mr. Gribble a glass of water. He doesn't want any. We'll get it for him anyway. Holy cow. All right, Jim. It's made out. Now, all you have to do is sign it. Yes, uh... Betty, Kathy, Mr. Gribble is here. Jim, why don't you just tell him... Betty, Kathy, can't you hear me? I just told you Mr. Gribble is here. Good for him. Well, don't you want to say hello? Hello, Betty. How about Kathy? Hello, Kathy. Friendly little group, aren't we? Jim, why don't you come down and tell Mr. Gribble all about the nice summer you had? Jim. Tell him all about it, one day at a time. Jim. Never mind the key. Never mind Mrs. Nielsen. Jim, Mr. Gribble... Never mind Mr. Gribble. Where? I guess I'll be running along. No, wait. I, uh... haven't signed the check. Oh, you remember that? I'm sure Mr. Gribble... Well, here you are, JP. Thank you very much. Not at all. It'll be nice having you in the club. I imagine. Take you to the door. Goodbye, Mrs. Anderson. Goodbye, Mr. Gribble. I'm sorry everything was so upset. That's quite alright. Quite alright. Jim, my boy. Yes, JP? When you come down to the club, I take things easy for a few weeks. Oh? You seem to have been overdoing things a little. I know what you mean, JP. I'll be careful. Well, I'll be running along. Thanks again for everything. Oh, not at all, my boy. Glad to help. Well, I've joined something. The Athletic Club or Leavenworth. I have one of the two. Jim, what on earth were you trying to do? I don't know, Margaret. I thought if I could get Bill Morris on the phone about that deposit I made... But why didn't you tell Mr. Gribble the truth? I'm sure he'd have understood. I couldn't, Margaret. Would you trust all your insurance to a man who can't keep his bank account straight? I thought the bank made the mistake. They did. I mean, I think they did. I don't know. Here's the water, Dad. What water? You said to get a glass of water for Mr. Gribble. Well, he's gone. What'll I do with the water? Drink it. I'm not thirsty. Then take it outside and water the lawn. With one glass? I think the boy all confused. Well, what do you think I am? No money, no catalog, no keys? Wait a minute. Now what? The middle drawer in my desk. That's where I put it. That's where you put what? I don't know. But I distinctly remember putting something in it. The catalog. That's where it is. Come on. Once we get the catalog, everything will straighten out. We'll find the bank book and the keys. Uh-oh. Is it locked? Yes, it's locked. Everything's locked. But don't worry, I'll fix this. Where's the letter open? Oh, Jim, you'll ruin the desk. Well, I've got to get it open. There. Oh, your poor desk. You see? I knew I put it someplace. Is it the catalog? Well, not exactly. It's the check I was supposed to deposit. Well, that solves one mystery. But the search for the catalog goes on and on. Just goes to show you come out way ahead when you know where to find what you want. Now, when it comes to coffee, you want the most for your money. The most in flavor, the most in enjoyment. And the world's greatest coffee expert can help you find it. Just serve the number one expert, meaning that husband of yours, a cup of Maxwell House. Then when you see him smile and hear him say, best coffee I ever tasted, you'll know it's Maxwell House for your best money's worth. Get a familiar blue Maxwell House tin tomorrow and see what that man of yours says about its wonderful good to the last drop flavor. Then count all the cups of truly good coffee you get from that one pound. We think you'll be convinced you get the most for your money with Maxwell House coffee. So tomorrow, introduce the world's greatest coffee expert to coffee that's always good to the last drop. Again, it's moments later in the White Frame House on Maple Street. And only one of the Anderson's many problems has been resolved. Father, who always knows best, has taken care of the money situation. But it's mother, the gentle soul who takes care of the rest, like this. Jim, we've got to go about this thing logically. Now, where were you when you finished the catalog? In the kitchen. I wound up with the pots and pans. And then the phone rang. How do you know? Well, didn't it? Yes, but how? Dear, whenever you lose something, the telephone has always just rung. Well, then what happened? It was Hector Smith, wasn't it? Yes, but I still don't see... You and Hector made a poker date. You had to make a few notes, didn't you? That's right. I had to put down the address and the time... And you also put down the catalog. Well, I couldn't write with my hands full. Now, let's see. What handy spot would be the most illogical place for you to put it? I put it right on the telephone table. And then it disappeared. Betty, look on top of the valence over the whole window. Margaret, you know that's ridiculous. Who in his right mind would stick a book away on top of a window valence? You would. I certainly would not. Mother! Yes, Betty? On top of the valence? That's right. Thank you, Betty. Well, I... guess everything's all straightened out now. Not quite, dear, but it will be. As soon as we put everything back where it was in the beginning... Life is swell when you keep well. That's why so many folks eat post-brand flakes for breakfast every day. Every one-ounce serving of these tasty, crisp-toasted flakes provides brand to help prevent irregularity due to lack of bulk in the diet. They're so good and so good for you, too. Ask your grocer for post-40% brand flakes. Remember... Life is swell when you keep well with post-40% brand flakes. America's favorite brand flakes. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for DRAGNET, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Theatre Guild returns Sunday. Listen next for DRAGNET on NBC.