 I spoke to my parents today for the first time in almost 30 years. I was watching a TV programme last night called Long Lost Families and it was about people, it's a programme about people that are trying to get in touch with their long lost biological family, often people that were adopted at birth or the early years and don't know who their biological family are and siblings are and this programme researchers and finds them that connects people from all around the world who never knew about each other in many cases and it's heartbreaking often to watch and I was watching it not for the first time but I felt prompted to get in touch with my parents the problem is I don't know where they live or a phone number I don't know anything about them because it's been 30 years almost since I had in contact with them they don't live far from here maybe 30-40 minutes from where I live I wrote a book some years ago called I Am Not My Father which was my attempt to make some sense of and recover something worthwhile from my bad experience with my dad he was violent and abusive and I thought I want to do better as a parent when I get chance to parent and I've tried to do that and try to do better I don't judge my dad because I think he did the best he could he probably didn't have a great role model from his dad I guess my grandad who I never knew so I spent about two hours today doing an online search and found a company that helped me find him and found a phone number and there I'm sat with the phone number terrified of the idea of now dialing it a landline number of who would pick up and was it the right thing to do? Is it the right thing to do to barge in with a phone call after 30 years? so I just thought well I tell you guys all the time do it scared or take a leap or jump in or do something different today and unusual well today I did that I just dialed the number and my dad picked up the phone it was the weirdest more surreal thing to hear his voice after all this time couldn't see him I wondered if I saw him he told me he was 84 didn't know how old he was even I thought if I saw him I wouldn't recognize him or my mum so my dad spent a few minutes then he said I'll put your mum on which is what he always used to do I'll put your mum on I don't want to be on the phone talking or I'll put your mum on so my mum came on and my mum is so sweet and suffered so much I think in all of that relationship but stuck by him and I think his kids were resented to a degree for that thinking would be better as kids to have been pulled away from that and raised as a single parent with her but back then that was not as much of an option perhaps as it is now so I just I said to my dad when he picked up the phone it's me it's Paul your son he's like what who that went on for I mean I mean a good two or three minutes that went on for him not computing but it was me on the phone that's how weird it all was and surreal and uncomfortable for him and for me spoke to my mum asked how they're doing she's 83 and how their health is and do they need anything and so on and then I finished the call and I said to my mum I said mum I love you then I start to get a bit teary and choked because it's the first time I've had a mum to say that to in 30 years so I'm not on camera to say that you should do anything like that I said the other day in a video what's right for me may not be right for you I'm not on camera to say that I think I'm on camera to say that maybe some of you are having a prompting today to do something and maybe you just need to do it need to call someone or do something or make a decision or say something or write that book or learn that language or learn that new skill or apply for that job or whatever it may be I don't know do it scared I keep saying do it scared well today I did something that scared the hell out of me and I guess it did my parents too when it entered their world but anyway that happened to me today what it leads to I don't know I'm not trying to make it anything if it just becomes an occasional call that we have then that's great they don't have a cell phone so I just have a landline so occasionally maybe I'll call maybe it will lead to them I don't know they don't know my grandchildren they're great grandchildren they don't know them maybe it will lead to a little bit of connection with them I don't know it's a lot to take in but anyway whatever the equivalent is for you today maybe maybe something you need to respond to today that prompting that idea that won't go away I did that today and I felt good about doing it and maybe that's something I need to pass on to you guys today alright love you