 Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Procrastinators, I guess. Woo! Woo! Woo! Thank you! Thank you for cheering for me because I am the best guy ever and I deserve your applause and love. Joining us today, we have the DeVoo. Mmm, these cookies! I gotta get the recipe from Liz. We have Tom Oliver. I'm hungry for a good episode. Damn. Me? Aren't we all? You're starving. You're starving, friend. I've been waiting since, I've been waiting 109 episodes and we still haven't gotten one yet. But I believe, but I believe we can deliver. Hippocrite is here. That's what it sounds like when I'm hooking up some stuff. Nice. Ben St. is here. Oh no! My blood sugar! Get it! Get it out! Get it out of me! Get the sugar out of my blood! Get no blood sugar, please. And we've got munchies. I just cooked some eggs right before this podcast and I've got one singular yolk here, all pristine and shit. I'm about to shove it into my fat, gaping mouth. Dude, I have one too. I'm gonna eat it. Mmm. Mmm. Oh, that's good. I just cooked up a monster, absolutely zero energy in a chemical bath. I'm currently drinking a coffee. Mmm. Mmm. It tastes like a fresh diaper. I've got a juice monster energy drink, pipeline punch right now. I'm gonna fucking drown this and hopefully my tongue seared off and I can't speak anymore. My quality is... Let's all hope that happens. While we introduce our final special guest, longtime LGBTQ ally of the PCP, his name, icon class, aka, double shot, Icon Colts, I remember because I did fan art and never showed anyone. Oh, wow. Not even Victor? Oh, well that's the man, and that's the man, Victor, Victor Collins, here he is everybody. Oh man, I just ate a big hot dog from 7-Eleven and washed it down with Mountain Dew and now I feel like I'm gonna vomit. You're into 7-Eleven food. You unironically eat 7-Eleven food and that's a thing in your life. Yeah, I mean that's true. Victor. Almost every day. Victor, your last name... And it's horrible. Your last name was Collins? I think your last name was Bro. Hey. You gotta go to 7-Eleven and you gotta get a fucking buffalo chicken log. Oh, those are good. I like those. Oh, no. Buffalo chicken roller log, dude. Yeah, I like those. It's a very funny name. It's a very funny name. I do too. I've had those for a little while and then... I mean, yeah. They all make me sick. Hey, topic, ladies and gentlemen, get the fuck out of my kitchen, you're under-cooking my chicken. It's cooking. You're just like your father. That's what happened. We're talking about cooking, we're talking about po-boy and rich boy eats alike. They all have a place in our lexicon of food. And speaking of lexicons that has nothing to do with what I'm saying, also let's look at Urban Dictionary and see what the fuck is going on with cooking. Here we go. Hang on. It's silly of me. I searched cocking by mistake, which is texting while urinating. Oh, shit. Okay, cooking. Here we go. Cooking is a dance trend invented by Lil B in that it's only waist up designed to be done in front of a webcam. Oh, no. Wait, incorrect, incorrect. I don't know anything about this topic. I'm out. Cooking. Okay, cooking. This is a good one. Cooking, what you better be doing right now, woman. Yeah. What the fuck? It sucks. What the hell? Damn. Oh, that one was funny. Okay, cooking. In reference to wannabe comedian Dane Cook, no. It's when you put the food in the pan and it sizzles. That's what cooking is. It's when you eat food. You know. What if you're not using a pan, though? I mean, that's true. Then that's cold. It's not real cooking, obviously. I suspect we are going to spend easily 45 minutes talking about what is or is not. Yeah, let's not. Let's not. Let's not. Is making a sandwich cooking. Please. No, cooking literally is the act of heating something like raw ingredients to make it meal. Okay, but so temperature being involved, but here's a question, and I said this to Vic beforehand. If I make ice cream, if I make ice cream when I'm using temperature to create it in the negative, the opposite direction is that cooking? No. Why? A cooker is a heating. No, no, no. No, no, no. It's possible that for one podcast, we can like not open it with like a no, no, no. Let's open the scanner worms. No, no, no. Here's why it opened. Famously, I am responsible in Ben's legendary sandwich debates. I am legendary quoted as saying that the American flag is a sandwich, which I stand by. Why? Because of the lines? Okay, no, no, because there are layers on the American flag, which are the 13 stripes. By that definition. Okay, on the bottom there's a red stripe on the top of the red stripe, and the middle there are white stripes. Here's Munchie. Munchie. Famously, onions are known to have layers. Does that make an onion a sandwich as well? No, no, because there's not, okay, there's not similar layers on the top or the bottom. No, no, no. If we're talking about this. My final word on the sandwich debate is that artist intent. Artist intent matters when it comes to a sandwich debate. Death of the author. Death of the author. No! A sandwich has to be deliberately assembled for the purpose of being eaten. Death of the author doesn't apply to me. That is why American flags are certainly ones. If the author died, you'd go hungry. Betsy Ross, Betsy Ross, just put those stripes in there. Famous sandwich. And make your lips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. James Ross was like, hey, hey, babe, can you get me a beer? I'm gonna watch the game. And she came back out with the American flag. And she was like, wow, this is really good. You need to watch the game before games are even invented. That's game one. So the American Revolution. Let's not have Nate make this a one-hour debate about the definition of P2. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. I was always going to say that. I want to say, okay, here's what I think. I think that cooking, okay, I think that making ice cream is cooking. I think that cooking is the act of creating food, but there has to be chemical processes need to be involved. What if I make a salad? What about making sushi, you know? Yeah, sushi. Sushi is pretty interweaving and pretty elaborate. What's Gibbs saying? I've got to go in here. It might just be a British thing, an English thing, but the other word for an oven is a cooker, which is where the word cooking comes from. That's not where the word cooking comes from. That's where it fucking comes from. No, no, no, no. I'll kill everyone. Well, sushi has rice and the rice has to be cooked. I have the best definition of cooking. Cooking is preparing food to an extent that if you don't like it, you'll procrastinate on it or try to get someone else to do it. That's not bad. So sushi requires cooked rice. What about a salad? Making like a complicated salad with lots of stuff. This was a funny joke to pretend that we're doing it and be like, no, guys, we're actually going on. I'm interested in this. The sandwich debate is legendary. Go on, go on. A salad becomes cooking if you cook grilled chicken and put that in the salad. Well, of course, of course. Then it's cooking, but otherwise it's not cooking. I feel like I could work really long and hard on a complicated decadent salad that doesn't involve any heat being used. I feel like heat is the main... It is. Chemical change. Chemical change has to be brought about. Because if you say like, oh, I'm going to go cook, I'm going to go cook this chicken or whatever, but you say I'm going to go make a salad because a salad does not involve any... That's generally true. Hey, I see Gib posted the definition of cook. I assume it's from actualdictionary.com. Actualdictionary.com. And it says the definition is just prepare by mixing, combining, and heating the ingredients. And heating. And more heating. But you can heat negatively by making ice cream. That doesn't count. Such a weird utilitarianism way of defining. It totally counts. Is a negative number a number? Maybe ice cream's not good. Maybe ice cream's not good. Maybe heat is required. I have to say, after probably about 300 episodes, we'll probably be able to become our own court system because we'll have legal definitions of fucking everything. By the way, I have Nate's other thing he's going to say. I'll just undercut him here. Hey guys, wouldn't it be much better in Star Trek where you just push a button and food gets made for you? Then you wouldn't have to spend any time cooking it on. You could just spend your life on other things. Food is full. There's literally no point to talk about this. Because just food is fuel and just get energy bars. Yeah, exactly. Just get soiler. Well, sort of. Just get soiler. Be the soy boy you want to see in the world. That's my motto. But anyway, all right. I think we're past all that bullshit, finally. We're never going to be past it. We're just going to be dead fish on air. Yeah. Speaking of dead fish. I think if you say cook in a context and it sounds retarded, then that's not cooking. You don't say, I'm going to go cook a salad or I'm going to go cook ice cream. Thank God. That's not cooking. The voice of reason. Cooking's like pornography. We can't define it, but we know it when we see it. The proof applies to everything. I prefer to term maestro in the kitchen. I like to be referred to as maestro when I'm cooking my top ramen. Wait, that reminds me. That reminds me. Let's bust open this legendary debate that I was first introduced to in an episode of Full Metal Alchemist when Winery and that stupid book girl were arguing, is cooking a science or an art? It is an art. It's an art. It's a fucking art. No, it's an alchemy. It's a fucking art, dude. It's a cold, calculated, meticulous, sociopathic science. No, you gotta have that creativity when you're ripping up shit that no one thought of. You gotta have that creativity, that passion when you bring together shit that no one thought of. Fucking literally, painting is also a science. You need to know how to mix the colors correctly. I mean, that's true. No, I remember extra credits. They're old episodes. They would say that video gaming is, game design is an alchemy because it's a mixture between science and art. Alchemy is not a real word. What the fuck is, they just made that shit up. They just love potions. They just love that alchemy. I just want to get my face from the extra credits out there. Science means context. Like, there is things to do in it. Like, you can change it and make it different. You know, Leonardo da Vinci known alchemist because he did both science and art. Wow. Exactly. Yeah, all right. All right. You know, I always, I hate this argument because you can kind of apply it to anything in life if you decide to proceed. No. It's really like, it's kind of like artistic intent. Right. I mean, are you intending to make a dish that is new and is your art and you're assembling it and it's beautiful or are you just like cooking? As you do day and dance. Do you work at fucking Arby's and you're just assembling a sandwich and then it's not part of your art. I think both art and science is more of a mindset in its creation rather than the end result but you can usually see. Yeah. So for example, if it's like, hmm, what do I like on my spaghetti the most? And so like, today I try, you know, tomato sauce. Next day I try Alfredo. Next day I try putting hamburger in. Next day I try putting chicken in. And I take notes about exactly how much I liked each thing and then I collect the data and make my best decisions from there. That's science. Well, that's, I mean, no. All right. I want to severely destroy this conversation. If the end result is, if the only data you're collecting is how much do I like it? Like that's not science. You're being a real neighbor. Guys, what is your favorite food that you can cook? Fried chicken. Sausage and eggs. Bird's nest, which is an, which is a bread that you pull the center out of and you cook an egg inside the bread and then you eat it that way. Cheese, you scrambled eggs. Oh, I would say a couple of the most delicious things I can make would be like a big old slab of chicken with like, on a bagel with like cheese or something like that with maybe an egg or something. That's good. I also want to change my answer though. Ice cream. You can make ice cream? Hot damn. I have, I have. That's cool. Nate just made a joke that isn't even a joke. I'm making it. That's not funny. I'm laughing. I'm not even reacting to it. I don't get it. Tom, what's your favorite food? My favorite food that I can cook are favorite food in general. That you can cook. This is not the food podcast. This is the cooking podcast. So all food and flash. The question left it ambiguous. Cooking, good. I like making omelettes. I make a meat omelette. I enjoy the alchemy of combining ingredients with the egg to make good omelettes. Omelettes. I'm an alchemist. I'm a maestro. What an alchemist. They call me the omelette alchemist. An omelette is just an egg sandwich. It's not really cooking. It doesn't count. Dude, in full mental alchemist, Tom was known. Oh, it literally is. It is. It is. It is. Anything is a sandwich because it's sandwiched when you eat it between the top and the bottom halves of your mouth. No. No. When you bite down, it becomes a sandwich when you open your mouth. Okay, no. We're not going to sandwich me. We're not going to sandwich me. Okay. I want to know. Okay, here's my question. I want to go around and I want to hear from everybody because, again, this is not the food podcast. Food doesn't matter. This is the cooking PCP. I want to hear about everyone's day-to-day relationship with cooking. How much do you do? How much do you fear it? And are you good at it? Like, what do you eat? I want to know. I want to know everybody's thing. I don't like cooking just because I'm not good at it and I'm not interested. And I preferably, I would like to ascend to a higher plane where food no longer matters to me and it is just fuel. So I'm constantly moving toward a state where I can Oh, you're all fucking reasonable. No, no. I enjoy the results of good cooking, but I am not invested enough in the skill to cultivate it in myself. I like when other people cook delectable meals for me that I can enjoy, but I do not want to invest my time into doing it myself because there are other things I would prefer doing with that time. I don't even appreciate. I mean, it's not, okay, okay. If someone makes a great dish, like, I'll appreciate that it's good and I'll enjoy it for what it is. But I'll still beat the shit out of them for having the audacity to do it. But the sad fact, like the sad fact that I have come to realize is that I'd be almost as happy just eating like a boiled egg. Like I would be almost as happy. You're in nightmare. Okay, cooking is one of those traits that I dream about and like romanticize about every single day of my fucking life. It's not a day that goes by when I don't think about the timeline where I literally am Gordon Ramsay running around the warped and twisted streets of bombed out France living paycheck, fucking every bitch I can and not even caring about the eggs I'm slamming together, learning from the best and getting the shit beat out of me in the fucking twisted streets of Tokyo. I will say, if you had, like, if you were all about food, like there was no fucking, like anime or cartoons or homesick within you. I was all food and you became the protege for Ramsay. You probably would be qualified for him to pass the torch to. It would be just like the next JoJo where there's like slightly different attributes but it's ultimately the same screamy, shoddy man. Anime and Homestuck has ruined your dreams. I know, right? That's what you're saying. It's sapped away. I, I, if left to my own devices I will like, I will make bagels. I will make, not make, but like I will eat bagels to eat ramen, toast. Occasionally I will like, do a fry up of bacon and eggs and stuff. But I will really go to the lengths that, you know, my dad would go to, to have like a Sunday roast or anything. Mostly because I'm never, never cooking for more than one person. Right. It's just me. And just me, I can get, I can get by with like, I can just buy a loaf of bread and eat that, you know. But I, what I do love, because like cooking itself is like, I only cook when I'm hungry and by that point I'm too, I'm too agitated to like, wait. Yeah, dude, definitely. But what I love doing, instead of cooking, is baking. I love baking desserts, cakes, anything like that. I hate baking. I hate baking. I love it so much. It's something I would do even if I didn't want to eat it afterwards. I love waking and baking. If you know what I mean. No, I don't know what you mean, but I don't want you to explain. Baking is too complicated and there is too much science in it. No, but like... It's basically impossible. It's like, oh, how much fucking egg and how much flour do I put in? It's alchemic balance. Who fucking knows? The alchemic balance between science and art of baking is way off the main. You're just not a maestro. You're just not an alchemist. Yeah, but like, here's the thing with baking. And with cooking, usually it's like heating stuff up and you have to time things to be cooked at the right time and then put them all on the plate and make sure you eat it before it gets cold and you can't let things get cold because then they're gross. With baking, time is basically completely gone. You can do it at any time. You can cook it and then you can bake it and you can prepare it and bake it and then you can just leave it in the fridge and it's just like a chocolate brownie or a cake or a thing. It's got a pause button, basically. And it's like there's no time investment at all. There's no time pressure. It's just like really relaxing. Like even baking a loaf of bread. That's true. I guess it's true. That's true. Honestly, I like baking. I don't know. I don't really have much to say on the subject of specifically baking but what I did want to say was just I don't cook a lot. I cook rarely, which is bad because I should cook more to get the more specific nutrient requirements I need instead of, you know, kind of slapping together from stuff that's around. So I want to improve that. But I do generally love the feeling of once I have committed and I have cooked something great and I have shared it with people and I see them excuse me, enjoying it and appreciating it. That's kind of what I wanted to say. The communal aspect of cooking is the real shit. Oh, Nate. Oh, I'm with you on this podcast. I'm finally an episode where I'm with Nate. The Rare Munchie Nate Alliance in a PCP episode. It's been forged today. So rare but so powerful. What is it you guys are bringing on a certain type of cooking? Cooking for other people is one of the most enjoyable things in this life. I've met some chefs actually where it seems like people who become chefs are becoming chefs because they enjoy cooking for other people. And it's usually like they had a grandma that taught them how to cook and that grandma would cook for the whole family and then they got inspired by that and they wanted to cook because they want to give other people food and not for themselves. Which is pretty interesting. That's what would drive someone to want to do that. That's kind of the way I feel about baking. I would bake a bunch of brownies and I would like really enjoy giving it to the rest of the family. What do you think about these chocolate things? Do you like them? I'm listening hippo. Don't worry. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm sorry. I'm too high. I'm too high to listen to you. Was there a joke? I'm sorry. I didn't talk about the food episode. My favorite way to bond with friends or just like go out and experience the world is through restaurants. My favorite thing to do is just to get together by offline friends and go to a restaurant and just eat together. Something about the feeling of eating with your relatives or people you're in relationship with. It's better than talking alone. It just feels super base and primitive and it feels like you're a real human. That's true. I was going to say I share Tom's rage at the fact that I'm trapped in this weak, fleshy prison of a body and that I have to eat regularly to fuel it and stuff. Oh, it's so annoying. But considering that that's the reality that I'm in, just using food as a tool to make people like you, it doesn't have to be maniacal or anything, but just like eating a meal is what everybody has to be together. You can't escape it. So it's a great time to talk to people and get to know people better and bond, just over sharing a meal with other people. I shouldn't have realized that me and you were coming out at different angles. I want to cook and be around people just as a nice thing and it's like, how can I force people to be around me? How can I force them to like me? I'm just more woke, Munchie. I'm just more woke. Though I have black pills. I put a few more black pills in my muffins if you know what I'm saying. Oh, I know what you're saying. There's something so alluring about the chef lifestyle where whenever I watch a high level chef, it's like they're a cowboy. It's like they're a cowboy in the old rest and they don't give a shit about anything. They get, oh, you know, put some salt in there just like slamming around. You know what I'm saying? Like when you're cooking, like steak or something, just picking up with your bare fucking hands. I don't even care. I don't feel anything in my hands. Just slam it on the table. I don't give a shit. I'm self-determined as hell and cooking does not faze me more. I don't even like food. I hate eating. Gordon Ramsay doesn't eat. He literally just like tastes stuff of what he's eating. He's not having meals. That's a thing about him that is true. Really? Yeah. Here's an unpopular opinion. Okay, okay. I think that food... I'll hit you for it. Food is sort of art in the way that porn is sort of art. I think food is basically porn. No! And I think that it's cheap and dodgy. I fucking hate you. No, no, no. Hear me out. I kind of know where you're going with this, but why? Because food, like sex, is just a thing. It's just a thing. Like a primal instinct? It's like a primal instinct that we're all forced. That we're all forced to enjoy. We can't help that about ourselves that we like food. And you're just like porn. There's some pretty simple formulas. I mean, you could get artistic with it if you wanted, but it's also easy to make some very satisfying and delicious food slash porn with some pretty easy-to-find ingredients. You just throw a shit-ton of butter in there and you know, whatever. This is from the perspective of a literal record. Yeah, hold on. I have a similar conclusion that was a very different story. Butter isn't something that just naturally happens. Butter is science. Hold on. I fucking hate butter. Stupid. Ben, I have a similar attitude towards it as you, but I come to it from a very different angle. I see it as if you just think of humans as just as an entity unto themselves, forget the actual context or culture they're in. They could be born today or 10,000 years ago, right? You know, food, eating, having sex, having a shelter. It's all equally important. You know, maybe you'll have entertainment if you need it. So the thing is, because eating and eating is a higher priority, right? Humans have spent a lot longer amount of time put way more man hours into perfecting the craft of food to the point that by the 20th century pretty much everyone who's, you know, at least decently privileged has access to basically most food, right? And we've basically got it down. I think that over the course of thousands of years there was a lot of experimentation, a lot of studying, a lot of stuff that feels like real art and discovery. But we sort of like figured it out and similarly with porn it's had a lot less time to advance but because people care about porn so hard it like figured out its formula and what it needs to be a lot quicker. Meanwhile, stuff like- What do you mean we figured out food? Because we don't know shit about nutrition. People are fucking up constantly. Nutrition is an all new front but when it comes to food that tastes good and feels satisfying it's like hitting a fucking equilibrium goddamn singularity with like every single month KFC and Taco Bell is inventing a new thing that's basically another delicious food stacked on another delicious food. How can you look at the KFC double down and not call it art? Okay, I think the double down is like it's a meme I really hate because all it is is just chicken where the bread would be. I think the KFC famous bowl is pretty much the pinnacle of society. Yeah, see I think the whole double down meme is like fucking retarded because all it is is you're just swapping out bread with chicken. I don't think it's that bad. It's such a simple but powerful change. Look, it's minimalism. The double down is minimalism. It's right there before us the whole time. We simply need to open our eyes and realize. People describing the double down is disgusting. I think those people are all fucking retarded but there are other things on the KFC. I think that's retarded too. I don't see what's so bad about it. There are definitely less carbohydrates if you get double down. It's keto. There's a lot of breading on those. It's fucking keto. It's not fucking keto. It's breaded chicken. But anyway, so meanwhile, stuff like comics or fucking even literature, right? There's so much more progress to make. That's what the caveman used to eat. Double down. They would just reach over, like in the Garden of Eden, Adam would reach over to the bush and pluck a decadent double down. They would just down that sucker in one go. And Colonel Sanders, a.k.a. God, would give us a double down. He would write a sauce to Savannah to catch their daily double down. But dude, like, so if you think about how much we've figured out food, like we basically know what most people like. There's a restaurant for almost every sensible taste that's in the book. Meanwhile, tastes in movies or comics or books is, even though we've made so much progress, there's still much more formulation for them to make. And at this point, we're probably heading towards some sort of perfection there within a hundred years or so with algorithms like data collecting every opinion possible. I don't know, maybe it'll work. Maybe, maybe. Maybe it's possible. Maybe it's possible. I don't think it's true that... That with enough, like if we live in a post-singularity society and we have like every fucking, like everyone's making art, there might be like a home stuck for every single opinion you could have coming out like every couple of months. Listen, that'll never happen because of the principle of diminishing returns. Even if a perfect story were crafted that everyone loved more than anything else, it would eventually become boring and we would need something else because it would be fun forever. That's what I said. This was, I picked my words carefully. A home stuck for every type of opinion coming out every two months. Okay. Okay. What was Vic saying, though? I want to hear Vic twat. I was going to say, I don't agree with the idea that cooking has become like this singularity. No, it's not like actually perfect. It's so much closer. It's so much like further up on that hill that it feels less mortal. I mean, it might just be because like satisfying the taste buds is a much simpler thing than satisfying one's artistic preferences. Well, we think of it as simple because we've spent like 10,000 years advancing agriculture and commerce. Well, I don't necessarily agree with that. I mean, is it crazy to think that like it is true, satisfying the palette is just an objectively less complicated thing than satisfying one's. I mean, I consider myself someone with a very unrefined palette so maybe I don't have much room to like comment on this. So maybe someone with a very developed like flavor palette might just like really complex stimuli. For example, like, oh, I don't need much at all. Oh, hey, I'll put some salt on it. Salt was an incredibly difficult thing to get throughout most of human history, right? Well, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You might think, well, that doesn't sound like that's not like, it's not like mentally strenuous from the perspective of a cook, but from the broader cultural, from the broader like all of society working together. Like the fact that you have a spice rack Dude, spices used to control like the commerce of the entire fucking planet, right? But now it's just casual. So like, they were the bitcoins of their generation. That's kind of what I was getting at in the fact that there's like, I still think that is going to continue to evolve because there's still resources that are more scarce. And like there are food trends that come out where it's like, now there's a million pomegranate drinks because now pomegranate is easier to farm and we're making GMO fruits that can actually fucking reproduce themselves and not die out. When will we have preservation techniques that will allow the pawpaw fruit to come back into wide circulation? Exactly. Exactly. We need the pawpaw fruit. I need the fucking, I need pawpaw flavored Mountain Dew fruit. Yes. It's the only fruit native to America. We need, it's a symbol of America. We have to make America great again with the pawpaw. Are you not referring to the pawpaw fruit from one piece that Bartholomew Kuma canonically ate? No. No, there's a real fruit called the pawpaw. The pawpaw fruit, they still grow in Virginia and West Virginia but it's like a Virginia native fruit. Doesn't the pawpaw suck shit? Isn't that, it's the main characteristic is that it's not good. People say it's really good. It's super overpowered in one piece. It's really strong in one piece. Victor, are we getting into the GMO discussion in this episode because I feel like that might be important to cook in. We can go off on some fucking GMOs. I can fucking debate that shit. When you like that match, you can't stop it. It doesn't really have anything to do with cooking. It's really more about agriculture. I'm happy to talk about that. Pro GMO to death, God damn it. You're pro GMO to death, huh? Yeah. There's a good documentary on Hulu that you can watch that'll make you fucking red-pilled for GMOs but basically it's all bullshit. GMOs are fine. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's just fucking, you're just splicing DNA and that's completely badass. People with chemicals or pesticides. I don't know much about it. But all it is, you just change in their genes. That doesn't make them radioactive or poisonous or anything. And people act like it's fucking poison. It's just doing faster. What we've been doing, literally, all of our species' existence is messing and changing and breathing. Did you guys know that carrots used to be purple? No, no. Did you guys know? Okay, okay. Did you know dogs used to be wolves and now we have pugs and they're fucking retarded? We have dogs that can literally sneeze their own eyeballs out of their skull. We hear something that legitimately blew my mind. Spinach, broccoli, cabbage, brussel sprouts. They're all the same plant. They all are descendants of wild mustard. I didn't know that. They're the same plant that were just selectively bred for different trades. Oh, so brussel sprouts are like a tiny, tiny, tiny little cabbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I found that out and I was like, holy shit. That's adorable. It is adorable. With bananas, it's still selective breeding. It's just forced into the DNA where they're just taking trades from other plants and putting them in so that they won't die from mass viruses. And without that, then the economies of the places that are fucking growing the bananas would tank because all the bananas would die and then we wouldn't have bananas anymore without GMOs. Praise GMOs. And the people that spread the fear of it, there's a good documentary that shows that at the end, they basically like it shows that the funding for those fucking documentaries are all coming from places like Whole Foods and shit because it's their agenda to sell all this non-GMO stuff because it's a trendy buzzword. No, no, to be fair, is not some of the fear that in the future there will be consequences as opposed to right now of using GMOs. Is that relevant? Fantastic, dudes. I think some of the consequences would be that the only consequence would be that the viruses would change to adapt to the new DNA but then we would just GMO them again. Are we going to have the pug equivalent of fruits? Is that what the end game for GMOs is going to be? Sorry to interrupt, but how do I say that? Is my mic still working? You said fine, yep. Like, yeah. You know, this is all very interesting and all, but I think the audience really, there's just one thing that came for it, one thing only. It's going to be something stupid, isn't it? No, no. Victor, I want to know about the philosophy of the po-boy eats. I just want to know everything that goes on in that world. Tell me about it. The series was inspired by the fact that I cooked these super simple dishes for me in Hope every day. Almost, not every day at all, but basically enough, but it's all I fucking know how to do. But I know other fucking broke-ass dudes who are like, I have a friend who gets on me all the time for the way I eat and stuff, and he literally just eats peanut butter and granola sandwiches so that he can save his money so that one day he can fucking buy a boat. And I'm like, you are killing yourself. I can't eat just a peanut butter and granola sandwich. My dad will eat rice mixed with corn and pea. That's a satisfying dinner to him. I can't do that. You can be kind of broke and also make yourself food that makes you not want to kill yourself. Just so everybody knows, in case you missed it, we have to link this in the show notes or wherever about the Radcom 3 po-boy eats that was made. That was an absolute fucking nightmare. What an art piece that was. That was definitely alchemy going on in that video for sure. I got to say, I tried noodles on bread just the other day because I was cooking noodles. I don't remember the Victor burger being that bad. I want to try it again. I want to try noodles on bread. It was quite good. I'm glad that was on the back. The Japanese do that. They'll have the noodles on the hotdog buns and stuff. Yeah, that's true. There's a bunch of other shit too. There's people experimenting far beyond what I've been doing. It's just not in America. We're used to this very fucking clean looking food. Hey, while we're on a subject of simplistic food, I didn't end up talking about my lifestyle with cooking. Here's the thing with me in cooking. The tensions I have with it are weird. I love cooking. I find it therapeutic. I find doing the dishes to be therapeutic. The problem is I just never take the time to do it because I want to work on videos more. I have the same problem as Hippo where by the time I finally set about to cook, I'm too fucking hungry so that it's just almond butter sandwich. What I need to do when I have my shit together is just make a whole bunch of food, put it in the fridge. Wait, was that an almond butter sandwich? Or was that an all the butter sandwich? No, almond butter sandwich. Like one stick of butter sandwich. Or even cashew butter sandwich. Which is even better. I don't have a microwave though. I've just been eating cold leftovers that I make. But here's the other thing. It's about simplistic food, right? I only got one recently. As I was getting older, as I was becoming 15, 16, 17, some of my friends were like, oh wow, you cook food? That's so helpful, right? I'm a helpful person who cooks. So then leading up to moving into the bro house with Digi and Victor and Ben and whatnot. I'm like, okay, so I guess I cook. But then when it turns out is, the reason why people don't cook is that they want to have actual food and not just something that you make with three ingredients, which is what I always eat. I'm just like, okay, what ingredients do I have? I'll probably have some chicken. I'll have a spinach. I'll have mushrooms. I'll have some onions. I'll saute this. That's for me as good of a meal as I can have. I'm not quite as crazy about weirdly simplistic meals. That sounds pretty good to me. I don't know. I'll eat rice, broccoli, and a chicken breast. Because Digi was saying, I just don't like cooking. I don't know how to cook. If you want to know how to cook, all you have to do is make spaghetti. Then the next day, make it with hamburger meat or chicken meat. Then next time, put in mushrooms and green peppers in there. That will help the ingredients one at a time. Then a month later, in another episode of Digi Bro, Davoo is telling me how to make spaghetti. I know how to make spaghetti. Basically, what he was saying is the reason why he doesn't want to cook the reason why he can't cook by his own definition is that he wants to cook food to be more complex and not the way that his dad would eat food. What I found out is that even though I like making food, I don't like making food for other people because people don't ever want to eat what I'm going to make for the most part. The food that I've seen you cook is pretty weird. It's pretty weird. For me, it's just like... You'll have brown rice, a piece of chicken, and then a pile of steamed shredded carrot or something. For me, he doesn't ever care about... Maybe I just hate carrots. I mostly don't care about the precise execution, the difference between exactly how long you might want to broil something or breading something correctly or having the ratio of ingredients be correct. I became cognizant of this when Digi was saying, the reason you go to Kevin's doghouse is because it's got the perfect ratio of bun to wiener to chili. I'm like, oh, yeah, ratios. I don't care. I just think do those ingredients go well together, put them together. It's just very caveman-like for me. That's why it's so fucking cowboy-like because you don't have to give a shit to cook. You do not have to care, and that's what makes cook so cool. They're just constantly cynical and pessimistic, and they have no passion or life left in their body. When is my approach to cooking 100%? Fucking bowls together and outcomes of lame and yarn. Pause. Pause. What was Gibbs say? Well, I was going to say, my dad, he's been cooking his whole life and he's like the cook of the family and he's really, really good in it and I love everything he cooks, but when I was trying to learn from him, I was like, okay, I got to step up to the plate. I got to try and cook things. He doesn't have no timings for anything. He's just over the course of cooking a cook for so long. He just instinctively knows how long you're supposed to cook a piece of thing at what temperature. I have to keep asking him, what temperature do I reheat this thing at? What about this? How long do I go and just go until it's brown and then put the thing in? I know in my heart of hearts when the chicken is probably done. I double check, but you know. It's like jazz, man. When I cook, I'll start cooking with a thing in mind. I won't check to see if we have the ingredients. I will just kind of start going and then I'll just make whatever substitutions I feel like as we go. You want to talk about the rhubarb thing? I do a cowboy stuff. Where you got to bring it out. Huh? The reason why I wanted Ben to be on this episode is that me and Ben, I played witness to Ben trying to make his infamous rhubarb shit back at Digi's house. It was the d'vubarb pie. It was a strawberry rhubarb pie with blueberries. That sounds good. I'm going to make this rhubarb pie, right? And you're like, okay, let me look at the ingredients and one by one, by one by one, you had maybe two out of the ten ingredients and just substituted and substituted over and over and over again. Some of those substitutions were legit. Yeah. And it was just the most Ben experience I've ever had. How did it turn out? What were you left with? It would have been a fine pie. The only thing was that there was not enough filling. So the filling kind of baked down into a film. So it kind of just became really thin bars of pie crust with kind of a thin, gooey layer of d'vubarb coating the top of it. I mean, it wasn't gross or anything but it was not a pie. Oh, right. We were looking for rhubarb and we literally went all around Virginia fucking beach, even to the Asian food store to find rhubarb. There was just no fucking rhubarb anywhere. We grow that shit in our fucking garden. Yeah, I think it's more of a northern thing. Yeah, I guess so. And then Ben bites into that and he thinks, you know, I could have eaten that. That's the problem, Ben. It's that you're making a weird, filmy, disgusting, like fish tank food pie. You guys remember who was there for it when I made the Swedish fish-flavored fried Oreos? No. I don't remember. I don't remember. You and me made Dorito breaded fried chicken. I remember that. They didn't really taste like Doritos. They needed to be dusted with Dorito dust after frying. Right, that's right. Oh, Ben, remember the fucking crock pot? Chernobyl crock pot? Do you remember the final days of the crock pot? I remember the time when there was that one crock pot that dragged out for a couple of days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had chicken and vegetables in the crock pot. It was right before we retired it, for good. Yeah. So there were chicken and vegetables in there, and it had been in there hot for like two days. It was very dried out. It was not dry. We went to the supermarket and I picked up some cans of soup. I got like cheese and beer-flavored soup. And I just dumped cans of cheese and beer-flavored soup into the crock pot and mixed them with the dry... To moisten it up so I could eat it again. So Ben set a crock pot in the mid-afternoon and I thought it was Digi's crock pot for some reason. I had heard that the crock pot was supposed to be done at 10pm. 10pm. 10pm comes and I'm the only one still awake. And I thought, well, it's Digi's crock pot. Digi's relatively responsible. He'll remember. But it was actually Ben's crock pot. I assume he was asleep. So the next morning comes up, I wake up and I'm hearing a sizzling. What's the sizzling? And I look and I see the crock pot has been on full blast all fucking night. It's all dried up. And Digi comes down and I'm like, oh shit, Ben's gonna have to throw this away. Then Ben wakes up and he's like, hmm, I don't think I have to throw this away. So you just... Neither of us take a single stab at it. We don't even want to be in the same zip code. But you're like, nipple, nipple. I mean, you know, and then yeah, you eventually get like fucking like cheese and beer soup. So basically just make it worse. Just to make it fucking worse. I mean, there's a certain logic there. That's the perfect summary of the experience of living in that house at that time was that there was always some sort of disturbing black mess crock pot going on. Oh God. And I thought there would be like, what the fuck is this? So Ben had that crock pot. He left the crock pot on warm. He didn't even put it in the fridge. He just left it on warm for like, a couple more fucking days continuing to nibble at it before he finally gave up. And it was like all crusted and dried at the bottom. No! The whole kitchen smelled like ass. It was just like... The beer and cheese soup gave it a very strange smell. Imagine that. Ben really needs to have his own sitcom. Hang on, hang on. Were these two separate soups? A beer soup and a cheese soup? A beer and cheese flavor soup. It was a real thing. I think more than anyone in this group needs to have his needs to star in a sitcom. Just this man who's just everything about life and existence for him is a total failure but he's so complacent with it and so chill about it that it seems like he's doing it on purpose and it's actually really cool. That's real life. I resent that a lot. I'll fucking end you tonight. That's the cramer of real life in some ways. Here's the rub. Yeah. Don't be like this. Don't do this. Why not? It's good. It worked out. I got food out of that crock-pop on any of us. Don't go to McDonald's. Don't go to Der Wiener Schnitzel. Don't go to Burger King. Just learn the real shit that's fucking easy. Put some butter in a pan. Get the pan hot and put it in an egg. You will be satisfied by just eating a lot of fucking food. I don't really like eggs that much though. I've got a way better method to live your life by. This is my secret to being a cooking boy and keeping it going and cooking every day and cooking real meals that aren't just bullshit and it's having a girlfriend who is way more responsible than I am. It's a good cheat. That is the ultimate secret. She goes and makes lists of shit ingredients and goes and buys them and then all I have to do is assemble them and cook them and it's easy because it's all planned for me and I don't have to do shit. That is the best way to keep cooking in your life. It's so difficult because I live with my parents still and my dad is the cook boy. He has meals planned way ahead of time. I'm going to cook a curry today and then we're going to have a roast lamb and he has all these ingredients in the fridge and I don't know what I can use and what I can. I never get the chance to use to learn cooking myself. I really should I feel like I would be able to keep track of it if I had a fridge of my own. That's a fridge too far. With my family my mom is the one who does the cooking primarily but if I could do it all the time it would be like two out of every third day and most of the time we would just make meals for ourselves. I think my dad was the only one who would basically just rely upon the food that my mom made. He did his leftovers or he'd get work all the time so he would have lunches out but everyone else in the family just basically makes their own shit like I make my own shit and I think my younger brother and sister took after me even though we generally like almost all the food that our mom makes we just want to eat when we want to fucking eat me and my brother when we hit puberty we both became massive needs we'd be up at totally random times so it's like I want to have fresh food and I want it to be exactly the amount of fucking proteins I need right now so that's how I got into the habit of cooking some stupid thing for myself the result of this is that the dishes in our kitchen were completely out of control 24-7 and they remain so to this day I'm glad I moved out we should probably do a whole isolated episode about dish washing I can definitely get an episode worth of that damn I think dish washing is just part of cooking you should consider that part of cooking and fucking watch your shit immediately afterwards I will never be a problem I'm going to spoil the upcoming the eventual dish washing episode right now it depends on your cooking habits my mom would have a number of times where she would kind of snap and be like okay from now on you're always washing the dishes right after we're done cooking and inevitably, invariably every time she has that snap in like the early afternoon come late evening she'll have a moment where she's cooked something and she's fucking tired there was one time where she was really adamant about it she was really adamant about it and then that night she makes fucking muffins and then there's just five fucking crusty muffin tins on the counter top but I'm like, hey mom what's up with that whole cleaning thing she's like, I know, I know because here's the thing about it is that by the time you're done cooking you're a completely different fucking person you're not over an emotional art I completely agree you're fucking hungry now by the time you're done eating the food the time of your life that you spent dirtying those dishes, it's like a long past memory you've moved on you need to move on with your life the only way to do it is just have dedicated time where it's like there's a pile of dishes I'm gonna fucking shred that's not the right idea the way to do it is not to do it right after you've finished eating is to wait like a couple hours or at least before you go to bed and then clear everything what we'll do is that we will have washed most of the dishes by the time we're even finished cooking like as soon as we're done with the dishes just wash it and hope does that a lot if you can do that, I think that's ideal I think that's the best way the problem is it depends on what you're cooking because it's like, for example, oh you know what actually kills it for me almost everything I cook is fucking fried or like sauteed, right you can't cook a hot ass thing right after it's done you have to let it cool a bit and some of that shit's gonna congeal you can't just touch it right now so like you have no choice but to put it off for a while sometimes you get a dish that is like really crusty and sticky and then you soak it and you let it sit for a while I think it's probably the most efficient to clean immediately I kind of like to clean a load of dishes at once I hate that dishes are in the sink and it's lame, but I like to just do it all in one go I end up doing that Ben but the thing is I end up getting to a place of great anger at the world at those dishes that are piled up and it makes my life worse I never do it because I'm like yay time to wash the dishes it's always fuck I cannot put this off any longer now I have to fucking wade into this hellscape and do the dishes by the way, once I'm actually doing the dishes it's not so bad I think it's really satisfying and therapeutic I want to get back to work and that's the problem with me and my whole family is that my whole family are like what am I doing next type of people my dad is someone who is like if he has 15 minutes to wait to go to work he's gonna come up with something to do that'll make him just 15 seconds late so we're all like that so none of us want to continue harboring over the fucking food that we just made and continue to keep cleaning dishes until the next thing because now we have all this renewed after meal energy so the thing with that is fuck, I don't know where I was going with that so yeah excellent grades you just gotta do it man you just gotta do it there's other stuff I gotta do when you have a stay at home job when you have a stay at home job then you have no choice you gotta stay at home job it's really challenging and it really means that you gotta budget your time because you don't have the kind of free time with someone who works 9-5 in an office or anything like that just think of the commuting time I know you're being sarcastic but it's like when you have a 9-5 there's these clear borders of when you are or are not working but when there's always a video project left to be made just in the other room so what I wanna do is I know what you mean I wanna have a dedicated time each day where I'm cooking and cleaning at the same time simultaneously and then everything is clean and then all the leftovers I'll need for tomorrow are in the fridge that's what I need to do I just need to manage that as a giant chunk and just wipe it all out in one go to that point I have a certain level of fear that when I go full time doing youtube stuff that my lack of inherently rigid schedule will be an issue like they say when you become your own boss you have to hate yourself like a boss you would just be able to make his own schedule you would be able to like regularly make his own hours that's the thing to do that is the way to go and to try to stick to that but my personal internet creation career thing has kind of been an exercise in finding ways to not have to rely on my own will power and instead putting on like by making like we Agua like I have to get one done every week there's no choice like you can't procrastinate or I mean I am right now what I've been doing for the last several months I've been experimenting with this over the last year but I've been doing it hardcore for the last couple months is don't schedule myself but just keep track of what I'm doing which is interesting because CGP Grey just did a Q&A where he mentions that that's what he does too so like I just track what I spend the day I spend working and then doing chores and then fapping and then doing nothing and then like watching stuff and then sleeping so then I just look at the numbers and the numbers that just sort of constantly reminding me like it's like a pat on the fucking shoulder like bro hey wake up it always makes me think about it and that keeps me awake now maybe I don't know shit about shit but I feel the need to ask has that actually worked seems kind of like you've fallen completely off the map well yes there have been other things that have made me like not as I've been checking the numbers yes there have been like huge stretches of time where I'm barely like putting in like even part time hours right and I'm trying my best and I'm trying to crawl out of it and I think I am I've been saying that a bunch of times though you know it's fucking you know in a relationship having basically doubled my family amount and so like just all sorts of stuff flies in well he doesn't need to defend himself although I've partly fallen off the map because I'm trying to be less of an internet personality but I guess I'm on podcasts more now so I guess I'm failing at that yeah getting back to cooking I remembered something that is like the perfect like the most fun cooking that I actually do love a lot and I hope a lot of you agree being a barbecue chieftain sitting at the barbecue by the way it's a universal the idea is that moms are the cookers right but barbecuing on the thing outside is always 100% dad well here's the thing with that my dad has sort of like relegated that to me and I've like like that's my favorite thing to do I am yeah I'm now the dad when it comes to barbecuing when that Tim and Eric get when Eric is like children I'm just gonna be one of you now that's our new dad I'm just one of the kids now that's what your dad's done to you you've been promoted he's demoted I took a great side when I moved out of the house and moved in to my own place when we bought a grill and I was like alright I am the new grill master my dad did this and I'm gonna do this now and this is my thing this is grilling and cooking and anything you are not beheld in to any restaurant or to any cook or to your mom or to your dad you are making your own shit you just do literally whatever you want you're gonna have a recipe and you can just do whatever the fuck you want these fucking munchies and the reason it's so good is because when you are like the main guy doing the cooking everybody comes to you as the leader of what's happening currently and so you put the meat on and then somebody asks so can I get you anything do you need shall I bring the next set of kebabs shall I bring you the next virgin for you to impregnate and then the people are willing to do that because standing in front of a barbecue on a hot day it's like a big whoosh of hot air and it's like ow it hurts my eyes but I love being there like blacksmiths but it's like sweating and like smoke all over my face and I'm like I'm smashing these sausages onto the grill and I'm looking at them crisp up and I got my apron and my tools and I'm like I'm the coolest guy and the best thing about it is during a party this happened once it may happen again where there was a barbecues this summer like last year I was barbecuing and there was a bunch of people around and they are like people my parents know and I don't really know them they're all drinking and talking and having a good time and I'm the barbecues boy which means that nobody has to come and talk to me about anything because the barbecues tucked away and I'm just providing food my brother would come talk to me because he doesn't like talking to anyone either and he would be the one bringing the food from me to the kitchen so I get to not participate in the party but still be like a non-anti-social person and cartoons don't work out and you could do the job of being the four armed guy from Spear to the Way who gets the fire going for the boilers and shit that basically looks like you already when you have that half mustache beard thing going on right? it's true coming off of what Hippo said I think one of the reasons that barbecuing appeals to dads and it's kind of like that male thing it's something you want to be outside barbecuing is something to do and then it's also a great excuse to have a bunch of beers and sit there and grill my dad always drank beers and then when I barbecued I basically got drunk while I was barbecuing and had a blast and I'm outside alone the only way to pass the time is to drink a bunch of beers while you're sitting there barbecuing and you can't get roped into any stupid conversation I gotta pay attention to this this is important late in my career as a son meaning when I live with my parents still the thing is grilling became sort of a vital component of everyday meals so we would grill out on the deck where the thing was all the time and the problem is I don't share exactly the same manly trope of how great barbecuing is because it became just a family cooking thing like I would do a lot I remember having to do it a lot it was just a thing that I was expected to do and it was like my dad was the real boss I was just the fire monkey who had to go out and prepare it hurt my feelings I didn't get to be a big boy they sucked all the fun out of it it was fine it was just a chore though I was not master of my domain which I think was the difference here once a year so it was always a big deal it was this rare phenomenon that we were grilling it's like oh man this is the coolest thing basically instead of being a cook I was just a cook there's something so satisfying going back to what Hibble said about being on a hot day and having that hot grill blow smoke into your face there's something so satisfying about being in pain there's something so satisfying about doing something hard that physically harms you not emotionally but really hurts you and burns you like mining at night getting your hands all chapped that was really funny I've never heard that before in my life I defaulted to that because I'm a fucking idiot hard labor feels great just to do gardening, digging up weeds, destroying stumps it's great to accomplish something that you know is good and that you want to do and it's just of your own accord and you're like I'm gonna be a fucking man I'm gonna get down in the dirt I'm gonna grovel, I'm gonna flop around like a fucking pig, I'm gonna pour mud over my fucking spread ass eagle shit dame and I'm gonna fucking be a man or even just going on a long hike through the woods that's physical and it's like I've accomplished this what do you know it's all about is your brain also my ethics also my cock maybe conscience would be a better word it's a huge fucking muscle bro One time Rush Limbaugh was like people always say Rush, why don't you ever work out? Why don't I ever see you like even like lift anything or like do anything physical? It's because you all don't see the cylinders firing at full strength in my skull. Is this what Rush Limbaugh actually says? Yeah, what? He said Rush Limbaugh. Yeah, okay, okay. What a fucking idiot. Well, I mean, fucking doesn't L from Death Note have the same thing. Yeah, it's like L from Death Note. If I did any physical activity, it would take power. Okay, but Rush Limbaugh. It would divert power away from my brain cylinders. But Rush Limbaugh is a big fatty and L is canonically like a tennis warrior gladiator champion. So, you know, I'm just saying. There's something so sad about not being able to like give another human and like, like a share in the feeling you're giving another human of like giving them like the primal desire of eating food, but not having to be like a weird like societal commitment. Like sexes. It can just be a casual and friendly ordeal where you just share in being a human and bleeding and weeping together. And you can have your bread or your cheese and you can talk and you can catch up. And it's just a warm, homely endeavor that doesn't have any societal pressures on it. Instead of this like accursed, forced heterosexual relationships I'm forced to engage in, you know, via relationship. Just the feeling of joy I get through a chaotic, you know, just happened to happen. J.O. Crystal charging sesh with the boys. Now that's pure. That's what life is really about. Hey, are we going to start a P.C.D. club? What's the D for? The D club? You don't know about the D club? Oh, the D club, of course, of course. I mean, yes. The P.C.D. Radcon D. Oh, shit, yeah. The fourth one will be next, so D would work, too. Damn. That's a good idea. I've got like one last story about like primal cooking, because I've been camping a couple times. No, it's like we get like a log fire going. And you know, the obvious like marshmallows is like nobody fucking does that. What we used to do was we got like a potato and we wrapped it in tinfoil and we just threw it in the fire. That's good stuff, baked potatoes. And sweet corn as well. I remember making eggy bread out in the woods, and I don't know how we did that. That was strange. Oh yeah, eggy bread is like when you get an egg and you whisk it up and then you dip the bread in the egg. They call that French. I guess in Britain you get arrested for calling it that. Because they're mortal enemies. No, nothing French here, no thanks. Eggy bread is like their version of freedom fries. What do you call French fries in Britain? Do you call them French fries? Chips. They call them chips. Oh right, fuck. I forgot. I know that. I just forgot. We have fries which are like the thin like McDonald's things. But then chips are like chunkier. I know you, I don't know any of them are fries. So chips are the good fries. So when you go to McDonald's, when you go to McDonald's you order fries not chips? Yeah, well they've always been like an Americanized restaurant chain. They don't change for us. They'll pull the small things for us. Royale with cheese when there's the metric system. That's what fucking Pulp Fiction talked about. Well, that's just the name. In Japan they have whole different sandwiches and shit at McDonald's. They were spaghetti and civilians. That's fucking bizarre. We've got spaghetti. Are we done? Are we done talking about cooking now? Should we? Oh shit. I almost went away like nothing. Yeah, I mean I don't know anything. I was gonna ask if like, okay if each of you guys had to recommend to our fair audience something for them to cook. Oh. What would you recommend? Oh, my recommendation. Oh. Is that hard to make though Ben? How do you make that? You just fucking get some, you know, I mean you coat it in some egg and some flour and whatever the hard. You can coat it in like anything you want. Anything. You get a deep fryer. You just fucking deep fry it. You get a deep fryer? Can't you just make it in a pan though? You can buy a deep fryer for like 20 bucks. You can put oil in a saucepan and deep fry it. You can do that. It's kind of a waste of oil but you can do it. Here's my recommendation. If the way that I described the way I cook and the things I eat sounded interesting to you, dear viewer. Like what I like to call it is the water sauté which is like to do the kind of meal that I mentioned with the chicken and the carrot and the mushroom and the spinach. And just instead of using oil, just use like water and just like keep... That's steaming. Yeah, basically steaming. The water sauté! I know, I know, I know it's steaming but instead of like having a thing like where like you know there's water beneath it and you know the steam comes up. Like you're cooking chicken, like you put the chicken in there because chicken is like 50% cooked that's when you can add the carrots. When everything is like 98% done that's when you can put on the spinach because that shit shrivels up really quickly. But yeah, like it is basically a sauté in my opinion because it's all like in a thing. It's not just steam. You're using water. Just keep adding water. And then you can just like basically eat stuff that I think tastes pretty good with basically like no like you know shitty things for you. You know there's not even any butter or oil, right? It's just like the fat of the chicken. So that's my recommendation. My recommendation would be just think of something you've always wanted to know how to cook. Google it, get the ingredients and just cook it with your phone. Just look at the ingredients the method with your phone. They even have apps where you can keep track of every single thing you have in your fridge and it'll like algorithmically like pick out like recipes for you. Oh no, fuck that. That's true. Which doesn't look that shit. I hate keeping track of it yourself. You know what I mean? I hate regimenting things like that. I'd rather just like be like on a whim or like I want to learn how to cook a Spanish omelet. I Google Spanish omelet recipe and then I just make it and I just look at my phone. It's great. You gotta have that adversity like oh you gotta look in your fridge and be like oh what's here? There's not a whole lot here. I guess there's this. I know but like it's I can do make me this. I mean it's intimidating the idea that you're supposed to just become like a person who inherently knows what you need to put into a thing. I think if you want to get into cooking start by learning recipes and eventually you'll figure out what you can change about a recipe. Watch Food Network. Watch Food Network every day. Yes, sure. Watch Chopped all the time. How do you learn how to play guitar? Like if you want to be like an excellent jazz guitarist the first thing you do is you learn to play like a song and then you like look up exactly what to do and then as you go you just kind of learn like oh okay so I've learned chords now. You see a repeating pattern of how songs are and what chords go with those. And cooking is similar to that in the sense of the way you can like you know extrapolate and apply things in different ways and all that kind of stuff. So yeah. Let me say you could go and learn how to like make a sauce you know and like go to the roots of like don't just buy prego try to make sauce and then you'll see like how things go together you know and how things are actually made in the cooking world. Indeed. Tom can you speak for like three minutes straight so you earn your $30? Uh, cooking is gay and I don't do it. I've had nothing to contribute to this topic at all. True. Well, fair enough. Great, great. I, okay. Just make a fucking steak. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. You just put on a fucking steak and you move it with your hand. You move it with your hand. Oh no, no. You scrape a steak and you just fucking pick it up. Wait, wait. You don't even like pick it up like from the top. You scoop it up with the burning oil in the pan and you slather it all over your fucking face. A literal cooking tip. When you're cooking a steak and you put it down in the pan never move it. Well not never but like don't move it around to cook it because you need to let the skin like crisp up and harden and when it slides around on its own then you can flip it. Oh. When you move it around it'll like break apart and it'll be gross. You've got to keep that moisture in there. I always want to move my food around when I'm watching it cook. It's a bad habit. It's a bad habit. It's a bad idea. Okay. You're supposed to like make steaks in the pan in the frying pan and then they put it in the oven, right? I would grill a steak personally. Has everyone laid out their food recommendation? Well no, we're in the middle of it. I know, I know. Like once this is done that's basically it. I don't know. Maybe. Anyway. Get out of here. All right. Just checking. Why? Who the fuck were you talking about? Wait, why? Podcast is ruined, Daboo. Let's start over again. Wow. Check up around here. Listen, here's my cooking recommendation. Don't do it. This is what I'm saying. Just as a grubbo just give I-hop pancakes every day like me. No! Just shut the hell up. Make more money and you won't have to do it anymore. I mean, that's- Just get better at your job and make more money. I mean, that's a good recommendation too. But here's what I'm actually saying. Here's my real recommendation. Cooking is nice and I like the communal aspects and all that stuff but better than that is like saving any time that currently is used cooking. So my recommendation is to those asshole soy boys out in you know fucking but not make a real version that's not some gay soy shit and so that I can be a man and made a pure animal product puree. There's a solution to cooking invent a new thing that does not currently exist. I'm shattering the fucking paradigm right now when you need to break out of the box. There's a Soylent competitor called Hewl. Hewl with an H and it has no soy in it at all. It's like- No soy. You say thank God. Sounds amazing. I mean I don't I don't- Soy is not actually a problem but like I don't know what like the I have not looked at like the nutritional facts here's what I want. It's not the Soylent of the problem it's the boys. It's the boys in that that's the problem listen it's the I want a slurry I can just chug at any moment of the day and I just want to be able to dispense it in any place. I don't give a shit. What you need is is like an IV drip of vitamins and nutrients I literally give it up I don't care I just want enough to worry about it. What? Have you tried pissy baby food? Have you- Have you- Have you- Have you- Have you tried suckling on mummies milk perhaps? That might work for you. I fucking would not be surprised if there's like an adult baby food product on it. No the ABDL community and all this. There's no Pedialyte that like baby drink. Have you seen it? Recently on Twitter they're rebranding it that it's not just for babies. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. No, not just for babies. I don't believe there's any ABDL That's literally their- their slogan is not just for babies. This ain't- Oh my god. This ain't your daddy's baby food. By the way I don't believe there's any ABDL food yet because the ABDL like ABDL food Yeah, well because like the companies that supply like products and like merchandise for that I don't think they have quite the supply chain yet to like have like refrigeratable and like just eat baby food. Yeah. I didn't- I didn't particularly mean it as like like an RP thing. I mean it's like as a thing- as a Nate thing. Like I want just a slurry of like protein enough for an adult. I'm the real ABDL around here. True. That's that's so- that's my recommendation. The more true it is. Yeah. Only I have the brain the size of a fucking mountain in this baby's body. But that's- When I was a baby I was 10 feet tall and 10 feet wide and 90 percent of my mass was dead heat just solely to my brain pumping out ideas left and right. Whoa. But this damn society squeezed all the creativity out of me and now I'm a six foot two weakling. And if baby's can talk they'll be the smartest beans on the planet. Hey. So okay the thing about cooking right the reason why I was trying to like figure out like how much more we have to say is because I feel like we're basically wrapped up with food but I kind of want to talk about kitchens specifically I don't know if we should save that for a later episode. No no I do not have to save it because we're we're right right right up down time I think here's the main issue for me. Wait we're we've only been going for an hour. But we've got we've got segments to get to we've got segments to talk about. Okay If you want to I mean if we go for 50 more minutes that's perfectly fine with me I got no problem with that. All right cool. The kitchen ran in all caps it's a 10 minute video and it has monetization on it. Oh true so you know here's the thing about kitchens right I've had a lot of different kinds of kitchens in my life like four you know and what I found what surprised me is that this little rinky dink kitchen I have in my new apartment is by far the best kitchen experience I've ever had which surprised me so a kitchen my family's kitchen in the house we live in the nice big old house that specifically because we're an older family right the kitchen there is too fucking big it's like a whole section of room I completely agree that is like a kitchen and I totally took for granted the fact that doing anything is a pain in the fucking ass it's like oh shit forgot the milk Did you just sprinting over to the fridge 20 miles away football field size like honestly if I were to sprint the amount of breath I took would be accurate to the amount of fucking space like oh shit forgot this spice spice you know it was just pain in the fucking ass and then like what's up hippo well my kitchen has like currently it's got like the two sides but then there's like an island in the middle of the room so you don't need to go very far you can just make a 180 to get anything you need I don't like the islands at all I think the islands are pain in the ass I imagine they probably feel really like constricted and if there's something that you want that's on the opposite side of the island it's basically like a fucking like odyssey to get there and back you know it's a small enough island for that but like I mean it works well right so my mentality for the kitchen is obviously like crafted under the situation of basically just making food for me and my fiance so like I don't have a family yet so a small kitchen where it was like almost like two or three different like sections so yeah the kitchen I'm at right now it's like all in one spot and almost nothing is more than two steps away from anything else right it's like there's the sink and then the stove is right behind it so I barely even have to move anywhere it's like I am the fucking guy from a spirit of the way with all the arms like controlling the furnace it's just like I don't even have to like move that much it's super cool just is the kitchen at the bro house you know their last name Mr. Bro it was a cool kitchen you know and it was laid out like in a circle so like everything you didn't have to walk too far the only problem with that kitchen is that everything about it was fucking dying the light it had a good light I would have ranked it as probably the second best kitchen I've had except it goes down a couple of ranks because it wasn't maintained well so like it has a nice like a fluorescent light which I guess is the opposite of how it should be I don't know what's wrong with me but the light went out like a couple of times so most of the time it was like we were using this shitty little like study lamp for the fucking kitchen at night which made it kind of like dismal and depressing which was kind of cool especially when you're cooking with Ben it's like yeah having like depressing cooking time you know what I'm saying but like cooking in an alley way but then also like the electricity around the whole house was like kind of fucked so like I had bought like an electric kettle so I can make myself tea so I can make myself like coffee and those little instant coffee pots but it fucking zapped my god damn electric kettle probably because it was a cheap $20 one but the point is I spent the rest of my well those things also draw a lot of power and you're not supposed to plug them in with other shit that may have happened it's supposed to be like it has to be on like its own circuit probably really oh I didn't know that I will keep that in mind because yeah so basically I spent the remainder of my eight months there like just cooking it on the pot and then like water and I'm like I remembered when I had my own water my electric kettle would turn off automatically and then let's see what else like oh well then there was the dishwasher but the dishwasher died literally the same day I moved in and it wasn't repaired everything was fucking dying right it died the same day I moved in so I never used it and it was only repaired like a week before I moved out and so the thing is is that there was water in there and the water just stayed there at the time I lived there and every couple of months I'd be like I have to do it okay mold it alright you know I would do that like every couple of months and then the kudai-gra of this kitchen is that the sink clogged up the garbage disposal wait there was never a garbage disposal there oh there was a garbage disposal there it stopped working and the sink the sink clogged up and if only I had known what was coming like the stink is right the stink is right right so it just sort of built up and then like food just foodish water like two days to drain and it just felt like total ass like Ben's crockpot malfunction was nothing compared to this like the last entire month of being in that kitchen it wasn't a misfunction so much as malpractice right malpractice malpractice and nobody doing anything to it same thing as the sink same thing as the sink because it was basically like how do you have a kitchen without a fucking sink that was the question that we all had to figure out so like I had so much processed food that month and I lost like fucking like probably 30 to 40 pounds while I was there because I was eating water sautés and also like not eating a whole lot because I had a broken ankle twisted ankle I just didn't get up much so like I just lost a lot of weight but I gained a lot of that weight back right before coming back because I was eating so much processed food and just like avoiding the sink the whole time so it was sort of like the whole situation in the kitchen was just sort of falling apart in a death spiral the same way as like everything was then so it was pretty cool definitely like top-keck memories I would say but I'm glad to have like a normal kitchen that just does shit now you know that whole arc was like it was like a sort of a waking nightmare but also like a perfectly aesthetic experience to have in like your early to mid 20's where you're like oh yeah I'm gonna live with all these dudes and it's gonna be like this fucking didgy like just strange didgy experience it was testosterone heaven it was testosterone heaven you're basically fucking chugging and downing that testosterone day and night I want you all to know that while D'Vu was telling that story there was plenty of time for me to master the blade which I have now done which I have now accomplished were you in the dojo? I was well well no I've long since mastered the blade in variety fuckers cop killers terms but this there's a little kitchen knife that was in my kitchen that I've got it's got a little sheath it's got a little sheath here and I want you all to know that I've been practicing Eido during this entire podcast the art of the quick the art of the quick draw you see and I have now become a full-fledged level 99 master that's what I want yeah now you know now you know I would say that my kitchen is pretty good it's kind of it's pretty like compact I can easily get anything the only problem is that it's so compact and I live with so many people that whenever I'm cooking something they're always trying to get something out of the fridge they're always fucking away and they're all sweating and heaving and fucking vomiting all over me and they've all got their bodies pressed up against me and it's the worst when I come downstairs during the week days and my four-chain uncle is there because I know okay, got a timer four-chain uncle five minutes before he starts talking to me so I have to run downstairs I have to like get the butter in the pan as fast as possible turn that shit all the way up get some fucking eggs in there and then like always like as I'm about to put the eggs in the plate he's like so I was reading this book about Rama the other day and I'm like I have to get out of here fast yeah Rama's a good man that was one of the things that drove my neatism and wanting to like like sleep at weird times and like making food on my own terms to not be in the kitchen with anyone else especially when I'm a fucking angsty teenager I'm like what's that? you need to get like a thing out of a shell that's near my torso area okay yeah go ahead guys I have a terrible update for you be within three feet of proximity to me yeah sure I'm not like trying to like withhold yelling here go ahead do it it's so awful it's like it's like trying to draw when people around you are awful oh yeah yeah and I think I think I've mentioned this on the previous episode also like looking for something and if your mom is there she's just like what are you looking for I don't think we can find it together no no I don't want you to know I'm looking for something and can't find it so what I would do say we're nothing mom what I would do what I would do is pretend to be finding stuff constantly so that I don't look like I'm having an issue so that she won't ask yeah yeah yeah yeah open up drawer okay yeah okay yeah yeah I think what I actually did was I just was so weird she was just too scared to approach me but you know I got the results I needed right she didn't fucking ask me what I'm looking for right that's practicality I had the same thing when I was living at home we're like half the time like I want to cook but I so didn't want to be around anywhere where anyone would look at me or talk to me but I just wouldn't do it exactly wait till everyone else is gone yeah you avoid your parents at all costs cause like I don't want my parents to be like oh what inspired you to cook today are you not are you're not going to cook ever again why are you cooking instead of having a pavement looking for a job son especially your dad especially your dad is even more the kind of oh what you're doing like did you just told me that you would go around into the back yard to go into the garage to then come out the garage door when you come home so that it looks like instead of coming home you just came from the garage so that your dad wouldn't ask where did you go which is I would yeah fascinating even though it's not like I was out doing anything I just have I just would have the intense anxiety that anyone would talk to me in because I get so like I used to be very frustrated when I was trapped at home it just like when I'm angry I know if I if anyone tries to ask me something I'm just going to like give a reaction that they're not going to like so I just like want to avoid all content in this like one like period of work but when I had to clean the dishes I would just be like oh I'm not doing them in right after breakfast no not doing them after dinner no I do them at 3 fucking a.m. so like it was in the house where the kitchen was far away enough right so I would just like 3 a.m. fucking perfect right and I would just like put on podcasts or whatever and just like everyone's asleep I'm completely alone I could watch all the dishes it was beautiful I think that was probably why I didn't want to do this days because that was a good experience just being completely alone no one's going to talk to me the whole the whole like thing with not being like wanting to start a conversation with somebody but so you avoid like places where people would likely be is probably the reason I to my brothers always just start like if we see each other we say nothing we say like a weird noise to just acknowledge so how you do it like we avoid that by being fucking strange that's what me and Shade do every time we see each other me and Shade just go like bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh yeah just make a face at the point and it's just like me and my brother know exactly the kind of things that makes us uncomfortable so like if something awkward happens basically the way we do it is we go huh I can't believe we just did that like if something wrong happens you'll imagine like what is the worst possible thing someone could say to judge you like jokingly and it like relieves the tension right and then like I can't stop doing it with other people so people think I'm being super fucking rude right or like if something awkward is happening instead of trying to like be like oh man are you okay cause like that pisses me off when someone says that so my brother's always just like ha suffer right so like I just sort of like do that to other people and other people are like what the fuck like you make it fun to me and I'm like no I'm just I'm just telling you to suffer awful when you're like downstairs and you're doing something and then your parents begin with so and you know alright alright what's the lie I have to say this time what do I have to fit what do I have to stretch to choose to make sure that they do not ask any more questions this one question I have to make sure that they don't ask any more questions after this yeah what concentration camp can I be shipped off to to avoid this conversation I would do anything to avoid them asking this the way I sort of dealt with that is that I try to like have answers to questions they're likely to say and say them before they can ask it so that it feels like I'm being like talkative and then they don't feel the need to ask that much I feel like we're kind of cannibalizing the future PCP episode about like dealing with talking to your parents but I do want to say like since we've already just cannibalized most of it like it was a weird like I think the most coming of age thing about me was deciding to stop watching TV with my family because they wouldn't stop watching fucking cop drama shows and it's been fucking 14 years since and then they still haven't stopped so I was just like I'm done I don't want to keep watching movies with you I don't want to keep watching TV and my dad was legit offended because like for like the modern 21st century man there's no more wars to fight no more fucking wars to stab no more fucking minorities to fucking like kill right there's no more manly things to do well they're out there we just don't have the excuse anymore yeah except to stop watching TV it's the only thing dads have left that and grilling but like it's true and so when you stop watching TV because your parents have shit taste and shit and you just want to be on the internet where everything is much better my dad was just like why why aren't you watching this movie and he finally like two movies in a row that I refuse to watch he was just like fine don't watch the movie oh my god I mean he you know he was I had that low key myself right like once he got the message I fucking understood that I'm an anti-social recluse and they got it eventually but like it was really funny and I didn't you know being 14 at the time I didn't have the emotional depth to understand what I was doing the way I do now I should probably like like write him a fucking apology actually even though there was never a fucking TV shit what to say is a real what to say is a real millennial thing I don't know if any of you will get this and if someone were to say this to me I would make fun of them as well but I know unless it is true and I have noticed it in my life whenever I'm like in the car or something and I have my headphones in and my family tries to talk to me I just cannot I cannot express the deep like I don't even know how to describe it like the guttural like primal feeling of rage that I get I have headphones in I don't want to talk to you leave me alone I'm looking out the window and blasting music I obviously don't want to talk to you about my day please stop mom please yes well that's one of the joys of moving out and getting away from your parents you get to mellow out and not be pissed off at them like a hundred percent of the time for absolutely no reason there's like no reason to be mad I can't wait I can't wait to like go back home to my family and visit them and be like cook with them you're like oh you want to like get a thing in front of my shelf three feet around my general area I'll be totally fine with it and I'm just going to be like I can be around human beings and I don't feel like a wound up stress ball ready to pop brilliant indeed exactly all right cooking is really fun the end the end munchie no cooking is not fun it's over is what cooking is oh yeah well what do you say this slams head into grill and sizzles to perfect perfection perfect medium rare now that's what I call alchemy munchie is only a one in a billion well team so that's the end of our main show our main course if you will time for dessert damn yeah let's I've prepared this one while I bathe good all right here's what we're doing team here's what we're doing we're not going straight into questions we're doing a couple of things we're trying out some new shit but here's the first of all so this PCP theme contest thing and you've all been colossal failure it's definitely not a failure guys it's definitely not like no one's interested in this because we have proof that that's not true because we do still have that one submission that I mentioned last episode so we're going to play it right fucking now on the show we're all going to listen to it it's from it's from our boy AJ Shoup and if you if you think you can do better yeah invite you to try you fucking cowards the theme send it to us on twitter or if in the discord if you're the patreon that's fine too but send us this shit because we're this is not a failure this is real this is for real I swear dad I'm I'm actually able to pay my bills in a career it's not a joke it's not fake I don't have to live off food stamps I actually will make something on my life I'm not desperate I'm not a failure Munchie play the song why do I have to play the song I vote Nazi Techno state Jesus Christ okay alright here we go I'm just going to I'm just going to be work to death day and day out without any extra pay to be the robot slave holder here that's right here we go yeah Radcon 17 like montage you know what I mean AJ that was excellent I pretty much like that a lot and it's got a lot we're starting out strong with our I don't think it has the right tone we could shorten it to make it like a very snappy it's not like the length it's just like the tone of it doesn't like make me doesn't feel opening to me let me let me can I can I share an anecdote with you guys about the creator of that of that jingle yeah please so the other day so the other I was making a new discord and I got carried away and I invited pretty much everyone I invited everyone on my friends anecdote I have an anecdote about your anecdote you okay Ben is a recluse Ben is not someone who goes out of his way to like talk to people at least from my perspective he does not like initiate conversations about anything that aren't awful the only things he talks about are awful things and so when I get like a discord link like a link from him out of the blue link again two times in a row not saying anything of course too soon he's like hacked or like he's like like some sort of sleeper agent for the russian government yeah it's a major same and now he's sort of like islamic bombler or this is like some sort of like suicide stunt where he just needs to be doing this and he's in a giant like group call and he's like alright guys this is it I'm going to kill myself live on air I'm going to kill myself shock of anxiety that runs up my spine when Ben sends me a link to something without saying anything that's how I feel when I talk to you I mean it was funny that both you and mage were like really concerned and I was just like well of course Ben would do this like of course he would just like randomly make a chat and then like not explain it at all okay so go on so I said so I invited everyone on my friend I just like spammed invites to basically everyone yeah I was like you know what never mind so I didn't delete it but I just left it for a while a couple hours later I well like later that day at my discord account got deleted or got deactivated because of spamming because I had done this it got reinstated today so it's all fine but for a while I was dead and I couldn't keep up with what was going on in there a couple hours after I made it I just happened to see AJ Shoup say mod me so I did then my account gets deactivated two days later it gets back look and now I see that what I I created the there's like a space station like aliens like role play like bot thing going on like there's like there's like commands and stuff it's like a mini endless war but like set in space or something well you are you are the the god in the religion of deism like you just created it then left and then like came acting like yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah so I don't know what's going on there anymore this I mean I can only assume so I don't know probably well sounds like that's why there's two bends in the chat huh is this why there's two bends currently in this chat well I'm the other one I made when the other when my real account was temporarily deactivated he will be dealt with that that robot he will be sent to the Google lost all of your slime how fucked up would that be well I would have just had crack transferred or something yeah it would have been fine it would have been fine that's like when you die as far as rowdy fuckers that's when you die in a Minecraft server and then you and then you tell your friend like op me like op me or like TP me and your friends like no you have to walk back here those are the rules I can't I can't cheat it's like low Minecraft guys no moving on okay well I mean that's our one submission right now was pretty fucking tight AJ nice job but we want more people we want fucking more I demand more send more to us we want to play each one of these as the theme one after the other before the show it's kind of like we had to get so alone but it's like a whole album a whole album of PCP themes before the show every single time yeah that'd be funny I mean yeah just send more people you've heard it now they're real we'll play them on the fucking show so send them to us send them immediately speaking and saying things on the show I think we're gonna we're gonna start like reading comments or at least responding to general sentiments on the show as well so if you want to be read or have the general sentiment of what you're implying or saying be acknowledged by us go ahead and write better things I just imagine the starry-eyed fans with their poster of us on their wall be like I can't wait I dream for one day the general sentiment of what I think of their content to be acknowledged but I mean but on that front other new thing I don't know if this is what you were talking about but we're talking we want voicemails people we want voicemails so okay here you go hashtag PCP voicemail you got a couple options send us YouTube videos or links to SoundCloud we tried fucking Vocaroo it doesn't work so we can't do it that easily so it's got to be one of those two don't make don't make a visual for YouTube videos we're not gonna watch it's not what it's about it's not what it's about and to anyone to anyone who's listened to those podcasts please if you have a problem versus style of humor into the voicemails that you do come up with your own thing as long as it's funny I don't care well yeah there's this very specific style that I feel like some people might think it's just the default for voicemails it is not it's just that universe we have our own sense of humor we're original around here we don't want to get copyrighted well speak for yourself I happen to fancy myself quite derivative I fancy myself quite the sketch the most derivative if you will but like I've said a funny thing in my life so hashtag PCB voicemail begin immediately and we will we're gonna review them so you don't think you're gonna slip a fast when past us but yeah send them on Twitter that's like the easiest way hashtag PCB voicemail use it the next voicemail is hey guys it's me I'm really glad that you guys have endorsed me bombing the united states government oh god I guess we did I guess we did by playing this on our show I guess reliable well ain't that a fucking shame so that's happening keep more themes PCB theme hashtag PCB theme twitter send us that shit we're looking for it hashtag PCB voicemail we're gonna be looking for that shit too that aside it's time for the fan art section of our program fan art corner PCP has such a visceral and voluptuous ass it is back heavy and it is like super bloated now that's what this entire show is gonna be yeah it's gonna be two hours of topic and it's gonna be eight hours of back maybe at some point if it gets bloated enough we'll just have like a bi-monthly like fan response video wait a minute wait a minute PCP mail time guys there actually is a fingerprint in the PCP theme thing already like right now well no I mean this is from May 29th like I just search for hashtag PCB fan art and this came up so like three days ago okay yeah three days okay let me let me get the fucking link all right hang on hang on I will play it in the thing how the fuck does this got no work please fucking this go punk bitch motherfucker all right what is this for the contest no it is it is I have AIDS it's the PCP bitch um you know what I think that was maybe a little better as like an ending song I mean yeah the slower tempo yeah yeah okay I think I think the by the way be like while we're talking like and welcome to the procrastinators while it's playing I think that's the idea I'm so sorry I forgot to say that is from at peter john death pjd there you go so I can speak only for myself the cheat sheet to getting a thumbs up on OP entrance for me at least is what's in an OP DeVoo tell us what's in an OP please I guess we need to bring Jeff back to help us judge Jeff Jeff joined that server that got me fucking booted from this that's why that's why you made that what's an OP reference I was thinking ooh how would I impersonate Jeff I guess yell and have a lisp oh shit that's already me anyway so the way to get a thumbs up from me on your entry is focus on like really you know pour yourself over tone and catchy melody and especially tone like what's the tone of an OP what's gonna like make you feel like listening to an episode right now because honestly I think there's very few podcast openings that make me that that feel right to me and don't put an emphasis possibly avoid like showing off how many random things what the PCP you know in your audio clips like I don't care how actually like dedicated level of a fan you are of the group for as far as I'm concerned someone who just like has the right musical sensibility but like has listened to like five episodes could very well be the one to decide to make the perfect sure sure I mean yeah I like the little clips of stuff in there but I guess I would say for a theme song I mean it's possible that one of us could fucking die or whatever so if that person was in the theme I'm just saying I'm just saying it creates complications so for me personally I'd go without it if I would I would almost never give the green light on a theme that has any audio clips like of us at all because I just I don't know just I think it's cool I would never I like the audio I'm not trying to shit on my boy Peter John I'm sorry I would definitely almost certainly never hit the upvote on a theme that has like very clean not even altered audio clips because then it's like what am I already listening to the podcast it's just kind of like weird and dissonant for me I mean that opening I think is like starting with Digi like come on Digi's fucking dead we all know this he's out he's gone it's just weird to get clean voice clips in a podcast thing right if you could get the voice of the PCP guy if you could interview PCP guy and get him to do the intro somehow you know enter the anime land and well actually no he's an he's dead too let's spend the next eight minutes coming up with funny voices for the PCP guy hi guys it's me the PCP guy oh that's it no we can't go like never one and done baby there we go alright settled settled well true voice actor so I mean that was it so okay so those two are the contenders right now I gotta say between these two I'm leaning towards AJ cause I just like the upbeat uh I mean I really like both I think for an opening I think AJ's is more of an opening I mean why don't we we can fucking use the first one to open and the second one for close it we can use it all we can have it all rid of the original fucking song we can get rid of the original it doesn't have to be gone forever I mean we could it's like a million years old now I mean I would I would that first one that we listened to I would use that as the ED sometimes that's as far as that would go well there you go there you go well hey keep sending people this whole thing we're figuring out we're role playing sexually we're gonna keep at it hey Victor I bet you're glad that you stayed for this I'm sure you have a lot to say and I'm glad I think you're bad that you're glad you're here I am playing Fire Emblem Warriors whoa and listening to the PCP which I would do anyway Victor Victor did you fucking hear the rumblings did you hear the ground fucking shake with this drop cause I'm about to tell you and the audience all about the greatest game of the fucking century is out right now Jurassic World Alive has won Jurassic World Alive is out oh my fucking god are you fucking serious I'm coming in my pants I know I'm the next all summer long I'm gonna be running up and down the street pots and pans banging on my neighbor's doors screaming for their first board and getting them to come out and play Jurassic World Alive with me I'm gonna be catching dinos I'm gonna be running from the cops and I'm gonna get that sweet ass sorus up on my sore ass and it's gonna be sick as hell I have the idea that playing a dinosaur catching game I mean like in the game you also have to avoid the police oh so like oh yeah like need for speed a cops and dinosaurs are diametrically opposed only thing more dangerous than a T-Rex is the police commission this is all real viewers click the show notes for some hot screen caps oh Jurassic World Alive it is fucking out and you better believe after this podcast I'm gonna be running sprinting down the street catching those fucking dinos that's the way to do it it doesn't even look bad I want to play oh it's like a pokemon go sword thing no no no no no no pokemon go is a ripoff of Jurassic World Alive this is very different I see this is the real shit this is like Victor you like you like look how Florida smells you're like chlorine and that's what this game is it's chlorine and come the game yo alright fan art corner here we go there's slim pickins there's slim pickins once again I searched PCP fan art on the fucking in Twitter and there's like nothing we're still building up here you know what there's infinite fan art of rowdy fuckers rowdy fuckers top killers endless war every day is a fucking tauren it's because we're cultivating we're fucking you have lore they're day in day out we're inarking the fan because we care about them it's a vicious cycle it's a vicious cycle we have the lore people draw the lore people expand the lore through their art and then that becomes new lore it becomes canon I am so fucking grateful for every single fan artist for the raffer cookbook I am going through I am going through the archives right now saving every fucking piece that has not been archa I'm going to I'm gonna be fucking putting them up in the buru excellent we've got the fucking buru fucking beautiful it's all precious it's all precious and part of the culture it would be beautiful if one day like in like ten years a fan who is like eleven years old right now is doing a lecture on a braady fubbers co-op killer it's to like his friends you know what I'm saying we're gonna do one ourselves before even fucking can you even fucking get to it yeah we gotta beat that fucking kid to the punch fuck that guy here's the good news alright much finish your point finish your point I'm gonna say it's like nice to see fan artists for the masturbatory like oh like here's my things remember people are doing it aren't I hot shit but it's just like it's so nice to be like aware of the fact you've made something that people like so much they're willing to like waste their lives making stuff for it yeah of course kinda like we wasted our lives making it in the first place yeah yeah I mean yeah collaborative waste exactly shout to nobie retro pk and oh god retro pk I don't even remember alright enough of this rowdy fuck is terrible bullshit here's the real deal there's one submission and it is glorious by simsie this is a 100% accurate depiction of me of course of course there he is there he is what about the guy who drew the old drawer pastings is that a chibi baka it's basically a chibi baka it's pretty close what is this pencil get out of here pencil we've outlawed digital only oh it's just a nice it's pretty good but it needs to be fucking inked this is a really good this is a really good drawing that is frankly wasted by the fact that it's not ink or color it's not scant he's got a picture here he should trace over this and computerize it and fucking digital art defy it you know just do one of those it needs line work it needs inking digital or otherwise it's very solid though it's very solid they should be in aski they should be in aski and when you put it into a coder it will actually play a video game the aski is actually code for a video game it needs to have a fucking scan code so that you can scan and get best guy ever in skylanders right that's what this is missing when are we getting fucking pcp amiibo oh my god that's cut like in two days check the red bubble hey hey some guys linked like old fan art of the draw cast stuff I don't know if now here's like the right place to show them cause like we get a lot we get a lot of dumps of draw cast stuff whenever a new draw cast comes out though so like to show all of them in a pcp it's an awful lot I'll tell you this we will show them the draw cast themselves how about that that's a good idea that's a good idea you silly disheveled pauper yeah good thinking alright well that's literally it for today there was one sketch guys hashtag pcpfanart on the twitter I know you're drawing it I know you're drawing it you're being a little shy you're being a little timid you don't want to show it cause you don't want to get bullied by me it's almost like as soon as we ask for it it dried up I mean to a degree to a degree they would actually be talking about it cause then they knew they would actually be commenting on it and they know that ben might comment on it and ben is like I mean I'm also like most of us are pretty fucking like straight forward where you'd be like ah this sucks or like here's why you suck or here's what sucks about you are you saying that they're intimidated of me yeah who wouldn't I mean we started doing this we started doing this segment because we were getting like a lot we're literally giving them a platform by showing their shit on the pc page fun D platform so you got you got nothing to lose people you got nothing to lose and everything to gain so like fucking fucking nexus just made like a bunch of like best guy ever art like while he was doing like me a math of a style challenge and it's fucking incredible did you guys see like the animation he did like holy shit it's cause people aren't connecting with the podcast they're connecting with individual hosts they're connecting with you from the book trailer series they don't actually care about the pcp anymore that's all yeah yeah I mean that's what I'm getting as well but do it anyway you know cause we like cause like rad cons don't happen enough like a rad con generated fan art that's for sure that's for sure um do it anyway radcon for when soon radcon for ASAP yeah alright well I guess that's it for that but it's time for everybody's favorite part of the fucking podcast the entire like past like 40 minutes have just been uh what's this oh there's nothing oh well enough of that here's to this next section what's in here oh there's nothing alright well enough of that what's next up there are some things there are some goddamn things alright you just shred through this shit alright here we go we're gonna we're gonna time to take a couple of questions let's see what the fuck we got lightning round this is a good one this one for Vic that I've been wondering a lot at no you mate asks why does Vic bring that is it because you were all naked children when you were born Vic? uh oh is Vic dead? I keep like sometimes I can't hear you guys for like 20 seconds maybe I guess it's just connection I think you just died as well yeah can you hear us Vic can you hear us we'll never know we'll never fucking know why are you wearing a shirt so much I think just the Collins family are just naked children and they never stopped doing that I've never seen did you with a shirt I hollied did you stomach while he was naked one time I'm sure there you go I'm sure there you go sure okay let's my pants were on guys my pants were on let's find another one here um okay I guess here's one steel viper 77 asks what's up steel viper among fan favorites by the way I told everybody that Vic was here and that the subject was cooking just to see how it would go and the question was you mean that I said that you mean that I fucking said that I'm on the Twitter I'm on the Twitter doing it not the fucking this is from the this is the pity question among fan favorites from steel viper such as the Ben St. and the Chastity Fortress what are some other iconic PCP recipes first of all what is the what's the what's the what's that what's that the Chastity Fortress is the impregnable hamburger recipe that I made the hamburger is this it is it is a bun it is a buffalo meat it is a buffalo burger that has wait I thought this was the munchie no this is Chastity Fortress it's a much better name it's a monument it's a monument to my virginity treasure dearly and on the buffalo burger there is pepper jack bacon and then you get witcher sauce and a one sauce and you drown it in it right last I heard this was the munchie but alright I guess things change okay there you go there you go um I are there any other iconic I mean the poor boy I mean I'll I'll restate here for anyone who doesn't know the Ben St. is a whole milk ice juice from a from a bottle of of maraschino cherries a couple of the cherries themselves and ice do you blend that you just mix it okay okay I mean you leave the cherries whole the cherries and the also the Ben my real name which I don't even know why I'm not bothering to say it because it's not even a secret but whatever it's a lame name anyway but yeah there's the the real Ben or the fake Ben whatever you choose to believe who is the real Ben nobody knows and that is hot coffee hot coffee and hot coffee and chocolate protein powder eat it for breakfast there's a variant of the Ben St. I had that too decadent to even like Ben St instead of having milk I'll have orange juice what but dude but dude Ben yeah I actually why is that ew they're both sweet fronts no that's orange is acidic yeah acidic mix with the cherry shit is it just sounds gross I mean there's no milk so it's not gonna do you put the orange in in addition to the cherry or instead of the cherry both right no no no yeah both but there is no milk Ben I gotta say I don't know if I've ever heard you describe the Ben St. before but I actually recently just like a couple weeks ago just like thought to put some chocolate protein powder in my coffee so that's that's kind of it's good it's pretty good pretty well yeah oh dude one time I was elevated through the ceiling and I had to repair my roof because of this energy drink I drank one time it was okay I got a scoop of chocolate ice cream then I put in milk and like I mix that around then I put in two like Starbucks double shot energy drinks into it I swirled it all around Jesus and I drank it and I could not stop I could not stop my wife asked me to stop and I said she would not I guess I guess that a fried Oreo with a with a Swedish fish flavored Oreo is might be a Ben a Ben recipe so yeah I guess so I guess that would be called the red the red let me the red stain do you remember my Swedish fish addiction at anime expo I do I do there was pictures of that and what not well here's another recipe that Ben cooked up I want to find what's another name for a recipe that would be Ben named what can we give one real quick like the the Ben German sandwich this isn't well okay it's the I'm going to call it this is a so ugly and what it is it is it is you take you know your plastic case of gummy vitamins and you melt it down into one solid puck yes that's the so ugly congealed gummy vitamins it's not even bad it tastes a little metallic tastes a little like blood but other than that it's quite delicious that's just your own mouth bleeding but go on Munchie I have a recipe called Ben's Soul and you get nacho cheese and beer days have to be on high the entire time to come back and just dump the entire dried corpse into your mouth you know you know in Soul Eater how like everyone's soul looks like a certain thing and you can like see it like that's what Ben's soul looks like looks like that goopy film that crusted dry acidic death valley you know cheese and beer melted crock-pot interior that's what it looks like my soul sounds delicious Victor can you hear us I'm trying to can you still hear me yeah I can hear you now yeah okay well did you have an answer to the question from our boy about why you never wear a shirt or why you hate shirts so much I didn't hear the question but no you may ask why does Vic hate wearing shirts so much that was a full question because shirts are hot and they fucking suck and clothes are stupid and I wouldn't wear any clothes if I didn't have to I'm not wearing a shirt right now I'm so against this I feel the exact opposite way whenever I'm forced to be naked to take a shower it's the most uncomfortable like unpleasant experience of my entire life I hate hat like I feel just defenseless I feel like if some animal were to come up and fight me I would lose if I don't have my T-shirt on and jeans I feel similarly it gives me like plus one defense why would I give that up you know yeah yeah yeah I understand that being naked is not that fun it's overrated I don't I don't love being shirtless around other people just don't feel like being at me like I hate attention oh they're looking at me and then everything looks like a snack so same fucking thing I hate all the comments about me and the fact that I'm shirtless but then I also hate wearing a shirt because it makes me itchy and hot and I'm always itchy and hot understandable so I just throw them off but it's also I'm more used to wearing no shirt than I am wearing a shirt because at home I never wear a shirt actually yeah Victor being around you with your shirt off like stop fucking become gay so that I can become as unbellied as possible so that I can one day just not wear a shirt unbellied what a way to say thin right well it didn't quite work because I wasn't losing weight the correct way so I just I want to fucking lose weight and be somewhat fit just so that I can not have a shirt around a higher percentage of society it would be fantastic but even Victor here who's significantly fit still doesn't really not wear a shirt unless he's like at home when you could just do that anywhere I'm not nervous around people I'm just awkward don't give a shit okay you're just a pediment of confidence and social no no I didn't hear what I said I just make people uncomfortable and don't give a shit okay okay what was going on I like I don't mind not wearing a shirt around people but it obviously depends on who it is when it's a hot day I'll usually just like wear like a Hawaiian shirt open and that and no shoes that feels good I like no shoes no socks or shoes oh yeah I think it's because I'm coming from California and wearing flip flops is just like what to do yeah sandals I'm wearing flip flops every day when I come home it's a ritual I take off my shoes take off my socks that is ultimate pleasure then put on my sandals and it feels great I also take off my pants and put on my shorts but the reason I feel wearing no shoes is okay but like being naked is kind of you feel defenseless is because like when you when you walk on your feet a lot they get tough they get the skin feels tough and you stop like you know if you walk on rocks a lot then you will not get hurt get hurt so much with stuff if you don't wear a shirt a lot then you toughen up like your skin and you become like the thing you're like made of cement I'm not saying that that's what's happened what will happen but if you have like toned muscles and you feel like your skin is tough it will feel you will feel like you already have like padded armor on rather than be like a weak like easily piercable sack of flesh I feel like also it like even though your feet and like legs are probably the limbs you're like maybe leased and controlled they feel the most powerful and they feel like the things that you could most easily attack someone with your legs are your most powerful weapon that's true except for your cock of course can't beat the cock that combines physical and psychological into a single combo that's true look out everyone duck down here comes a question from Lines Lines what would you change about your upbringing literally get castrated and that is not a joke put your testosterone levels though they'll fucking okay if I could just be a bara and have no dick that would be my ultimate dream okay here you know what I would have had more money that's it but why what if you could you could get your dick chopped off and keep your balls through having more money makes everything easier and you don't have to do it I disagree when you have money everything is easy I fundamentally disagree if I just have no libido and just like even phase me that would have made my life so much better I would have oh yeah it's having no libido I think is what he's going for I would have want to have been poorer and live in a more packed environment so I could have interacted with more people so that I could become like like like fucking like Steve Jobs his dad was like a Syrian immigrant and like I don't think they were very well off at the time you know I have fucking looked at the point of like when you're poor and it makes you scrappy and resourceful and you become a man faster it's not it's not a fucking rule it's just the thing about that is like when it works out it is such an unexpected thing that it becomes an event that people talk about I agree exactly hippo yeah that's what I was going to say like it doesn't actually do that like sometimes I disagree someone can become scrappy and escape from poverty but that's the exception and like it's notable because it doesn't happen being poor and being underprivileged is not like a thing that like separates the week from the start yeah it is a thing that makes people weak and disenfranchises them this is yeah another like future podcast I'm just gonna like gut right now which is the whole mentality of things going wrong can then be good it's like no things being good is good now I know challenges no fuck you guys you don't know what you're talking about it's all bullshit and I know that like you're right you're right it's better to be poor it's like it's like people try to rationalize pain and suffering by saying well it makes me stronger here's the thing though if you don't have to rationalize shit if you don't have to if you don't have to have pain or at least not as much right you can still choose to get strong through your own will now I know there's plenty of people who will end up becoming why are rich people so much more depressed it's because they have too much shit I don't think rich people are more depressed I don't trust any statistics that say as much and I do I'm preemptively saying I don't use stats on that and like here's the thing right I got some stats for you let's say there are like there is a scenario where people they probably get diagnosed with depression more often because they have more free time to go with air let me put it this way there's four scenarios right there's people who suffer and as a result they keep suffering and they become shitty people because they've never had time to grow then there's people who suffer and then make something of themselves and become excellent individuals they emerge from that that disparity from that difficulty and they become great then there's people who don't have to suffer and then don't become particularly remarkable people at all that's the third scenario the last one is people who don't have to suffer and become great which do exist not every billionaire walking the earth today in their mega yachts was actually poor like you know like Bill Gates was not poor right he wasn't like a billionaire but he had like access to a fucking computer way before most people did and he made even more out of it that is the ideal scenario that you can actually become good because you want to become good because like what I see for most people most of my peers the classic stereotypical millennials who don't know what to do with themselves is generally in proportion to how fucking like stunted they've been or hurt they've been by shit not by how much stuff they have DeVoo, alright this is completely irrelevant because it doesn't matter no one's asking you why you would be less privileged it's a question for each of us individually I answered my fucking question here true by saying that like you know I personally that would probably be well you don't know this is totally not irrelevant you don't know my fucking life the point is I eventually got to a point grew up with you yeah I'm talking to DeVoo the point is when I got to be a certain age I figured out that I needed to work hard to get stuff I just didn't fucking figure that out until I was like 23 and if I had figured that out sooner I think my life would have been better that's my whole point but you guys just jumped on I don't know being underprivileged is really better yeah that's true you need like a push you see because I don't think my family is as well off as yours is I had that I had basically the exact same thing and it was a push when I was like 18 so yeah that was very advantageous to me you're right you know what maybe you're fucking right maybe I have the same kind of mentality as you I had to just get pushed it was just a little bit of a nudge and then I was fine from then on out I think everybody needs to get pushed because a lot of people the pushing doesn't work the pushing becomes shoving and then it becomes struggling well it depends on the type like if you always have a like if you if your parents say you should get a job or we're gonna kick you out I think if you're the type that's gonna work hard and realize that you need to work hard to achieve your goals I think but that will that's gonna happen pretty much you're saying that it's all fucking and just having more money is just gonna make you better poised to accomplish the things well but you're just saying that it's all nature and no nurture and I don't agree with that I think it's all nature okay alright alright alright so I think probably because it's hard for me to say like how would it change by upbringing without it being a change to like individual people or like I'm trying to think of like living situations and not people situations because there's a million ways I could think about people and interactions but like lifestyle wise yeah I would say if I were to like use a time machine to turn me into more of a fucking art monster I would say that my family somehow becomes extremely dead broke around the time I'm like 12 so the point that I have to like get a part-time job when I'm 14 and therefore I would get the same push I got but like four years earlier yeah yeah and that would give me a little bit of an advantage otherwise I can't really say because I'm really scared of like well obviously I want to be in an environment where I had lots of friends I'm like if I had friends growing up I might have never become anywhere near the person I am now and therefore would never like have any of the same thoughts I mean it's in theoretically possible you might have just become a way better person but you would definitely not be you you would definitely not be you though so it's basically saying that Davoo would not exist right so is that a plus I don't want to do interpretation I would have changed that like my father would smash just destroy my shins with a two by four every day to strengthen them so that I could run really fast like you mean like break them or something or like yeah smash them like fuck em up you know like just forest me daddy oh yeah that guy got it all figured out I wish I was retarded I wish I was autistic and retarded you know that means that you need to be mentally retarded as well so you can run really fast cause that's what worked well for Forest Gump that's what worked out for him he wasn't retarded he was just a little slow just learned differently right what I like about removing my libidos that they probably would not change who I become in the sense that like I would probably still be in the PCP I just would have experienced less pain in my life probably true uh yeah I mean having a little sex drive is kind of hell in general just in general well that's that there was another question there was another pity question that I thought was worth that was a really good question yeah that was pretty good who was that again who was that question from again that is from Lines Lines not bad killer not bad oh slames yeah yeah confirm killer confirm killer confirm killer oh that's good here's a question all right this is listen to the whole question before you respond please it is do you eat dried nasal mucus what are your thoughts about it listen delicious disgusting it seems to be a very divisive topic um where I feel like this question is making some kind of statement but I don't know what the statement is this man is telling me never paint here is saying that like there's there's a hotly debated it's a contested issue whether or not dried nasal well I guess it means boogers I assume that's what it is when it's dry when it's dry it's disgusting and you gotta get rid of it it's like eating a skin probably a joke it's probably a joke it's just an ironic joke question well I it's eating boogers bad well what I would have said well I know that some people eat their own like they they eat snot yeah because it's in their throat well that's fine I mean if it doesn't come out of your mouth then swallowing it is not eating it in the past does that make any sense in the past I would answer no idea what anyone would do that I don't understand this at all or relate to this at all what I don't know right I've had nothing to say however now my fiance does in fact do this and every time what the fuck dude she's just like wait wait wait wait so what what what what say it again say it again she has all sorts of ticks like you know like she like eats her that's what a special tick she eats her like nails too right I'm like you have to spit that you can't eat your nails I mean like well do you eat them no I don't I clip my nails I don't get biting them that sounds like hell and then she also eats them I'm like what the what and then like every time I don't I don't eat the nails I like I like I like bite my nails when I'm nervous I don't even know you can bite my nails and I spit them out yeah I don't get it she like chews on them too I'm like what the fuck and then she gets whenever she eats her boogers I'm like why she's like hey it's actually a lot of nutrients it's actually like good for your immune system no that's not that's real shit no that's real shit ew that's a fuckin excuse yeah I know if that's what if that's what it's just rich proteins do that if that's right then I'd rather be wrong I'd rather be wrong I mean this is why I recycle my semen you know I gotta get the nutrients for my system mix it with some Fanta mix it with some Fanta get that sperm count yeah I gotta say like the reason why I don't think about it as much is that it's not even like in the top tier of like like tics nervous tics she has that like make my life okay let's not even get into this I'm actually very curious that I want to get into your response I want to get into this no no no the actual worst one is please tell me more I really want to it's just pimple popping right so she pops pimples but she also wants to pop my pimples so it's therapeutic for her to pop my pimples now I have never been okay that's not so bad that's not so bad well the thing no that's terrible I have never been someone who pops my pimples unless it's in a spot where it's hurting hold on I mean if you have a pimple what are you gonna do butt pop it I just leave it and then wash my face fucking better and have not pop it well I only pop it when it's in like an annoying spot like on like ear or like it's right next to my nose why would you not pop it because it hurts it fucking hurts you alright and then like it hurts I guess I have a low pain threshold I think I have like sensitive skin and shit right guys do we have to talk about this can we get away from this wait this is the pimple popping contest now right and I'll be like laying in bed and she's like oh hold on you got really really fucking hurt and like her this is a nightmare yeah this is this is dark she's got very different skin for me like her skin am I right just to be able to scratch an itch she does a level of scratching that would like leave my skin red afterwards right cause that was one of the things we had to get used to was our very different like she'll just like hey when we like dry off your back with a towel and she'll like do it so hard to like fucking give me rug burns like no no no my skin is like way thinner than yours so like for her I've taken my headphones off super fucking like hurts to have I guess like it's just annoying for her to have it so she constantly has to pop it so like yeah like there'll be times where I'm like just like hey let me pop this pimple and I just fucking scream she's like why do you do this to a baby I'm like it hurts I missed it I missed it when I'm walking down the street playing Jurassic World Alive TM I'm walking out with my cane and all these fucking whores and Jo pimples oh can I eat your boogers it's just so fucking taxing so you have to walk down the street I have to worry about that no no you fucking succulent bitches no those boogers are from my own those pimple puzzles are from my own steaks and garnishes you're not gonna have my delicacies I lost my appetite um um cooking has been yeah I guess you were thrown this day well it was the fucking question askers fault no I mean it's true well I guess it was but whatever it doesn't matter anyway let's go back with the fucking lounge pick some real questions I have one I think this could be the last one which I quite like I think you guys I think it's retarded but I like it my chipmice what's your food sona if you were an item of food what would it be oh avocado rice alright I would be something Ben would be a slim gem I think I'd be a paw-paw what the fuck is I gotta look this is it PAW like PAW I think it's PAW is it PAW okay I see it yeah I would just be an avocado that'd be my thing I can see that you're very you're very millennial yeah no wait I would be something cheap yeah a slim gem I would be that might be a slim gem Ben you're something cheap mysterious and you don't know why you're eating it but you are and this is your life now alright I got mine I would be um delicious mashed potato with onion gravy that's pretty good that's not bad I was thinking some soft and delicious white gravy or brown gravy that works is it like brown onion gravy I hate fucking white gravy white gravy sucks brown gravy is awesome I hmm what would I be I feel like it'd be some sort of meat product um a protein shake I mean a protein shake yeah there's people who are way more protein shake people than me a protein shake with raw meat in it you know what I'd be I know what I'd be I would be my classic drink oh I'm calling this this is the Nate Bestman it is water chocolate protein powder and fruit punch creatine I'm drinking I'm drinking Nate Bestman's every day uh they're the worst tasting thing in the world but they have nutrients that I want in my body so I consume them uh send me a picture on my Twitter at bestestguyever of you drinking a Nate Bestman please go buy your creatine by fruit punch creatine there's gonna be some lifters out there who already have it around fruit punch creatine chocolate protein powder and water uh there you go that's what I am that the ultimate the utilitarian snack that's what it is it's hard to think what kind of food I would be cause I don't know it's not like what food you like it's like what food like like encompasses your I mean you do resemble a stacked hamburger quite a bit I feel like you would be a fruit hamburger are they what are they quirky do do do they have funny jokes you would be a like a burger but with like a candy in it I know what munchie would be munchie would be what appears to be a burger but when you bite into it you find out that each layer is assembled from different pieces of donuts to deceive you to think it's a burger but Ben and I ate as children once sex dreams wait wait what did we eat munchie if he was a food we ate that like donut burger that we once had at that place that's a good they made them they haven't had honey do honey do donuts they made it as like a joke and we ate it for real there's a restaurant boss boss burger company that I quite like and they have a bunch of weird like retarded like novelty burgers and one of them is like a burger with like a ton of like honey on it I would probably be that okay dude yeah I guess to like add in a random like cooking comment I have an idea you go for the bun you still have a hamburger right right and you have cheese and egg and then maybe like mustard or something like that just breakfast burger you know it's a great shit it's almost like that's what a restaurant burger is I don't know I've not been to restaurants that have that necessarily well team I remember when you made breakfast burgers Tom what's food are you yeah oh yeah Tom's here yeah I get to be a food too oh I forgot Vixie not before Tom Tom what is your food um I guess my food would be I don't know I think you'd be like a bag of fun a bag of fun personally yeah I can't remember the last time I've had funions ever it's been a while just like how no one can remember you Tom cause you're not fucking Tom in the pocket I was about to say Tom would be a garnish if you forget that he's there and they can't oh only because he's not speaking up I'll go with it sure you've been banished Victor what's your favorite question I'm a I am a general sauce chicken cause I'm sweet and spicy oh shit and uh completely inconsistent oh my god dude this is the first time that the original spicy bros are all back together again the original spicy bros are all here we made it well we were all there at Radcon 3 oh we were technically all together Victor have you seen the spicy bro pat have you seen that video which I just like the one with me you and Ben yeah yeah of course yeah it's fucking madness it's legendary beautiful can we please for old time's sake on the count of three can we get a spicy bros all three of us what about us we're also spicy bros we were at Radcon these are the original yeah you're right I guess I just don't fucking matter then okay great the second one didn't count spicy bros that's spicy bros yeah I'm a spicy bro I'm a spicy bro I'm the first one I'm spicy all of us are spicy yeah your spicy bro two times over now that's true yeah I am I fucking am look forward to spicy bro back to you coming out soon looking forward to it alright that's we're concluded the end of questions the end of everything thanks all for the questions everybody alright so that's it we're done with all our bullshit now we must simply say patreon.com slash the procrastinators it simply must be done so that you will give us the money so that $1 you're in our fucking patron chat that's fine on discord $5 you get all 15 bonus episodes that are currently out there's a new one out right now it is sitcoms motherfucker by the time you hear this the sitcoms PCP will assuredly be out we haven't even heard it yet but I'm sure it's going to be the best one by far I have no doubt that's a bold claim but it's sticking with it but the fortune other episodes so fuck you you got plenty of shit there what do we got at tpcrastinators on twitter announcements and all that shit hashtag askpcp we announce on Saturdays when we record let's get the questions in there Victor I'm sure they know where but where can they find you yes please you gotta I'm on Vic and Hope on YouTube is Vic and Hope forever with the let's play show but it's really a podcast and everyone should go watch Vic and Hope because nobody watches it all true and every day a new Vic and Hope comes out the good digi bros gets pushed out every other day further and further into the past one day one day we'll unearth it it'll be redeemed please soon everybody alright well that's it anything else oh and of course everybody don't not forget please hashtag PCP theme make us theme songs play them on the show we're at a contest it is a real contest I swear believe me we you know year two we've got two entries now so it's real it is actually officially real there is a competition going on now hashtag PCP fan art to fucking get that and the fan art part and that's literally it thank you for being here everybody good fucking we'll go ahead and again thanks to Victor for being here it's been a pleasure dude ever since Radcon 3 now we didn't even say it's the beginning I should have said fucking Victor is a cameraman to the stars he was the one who recorded all the important shit that was filmed at Radcon it was incredible it was stupendous all the Radcons every Radcon that's true everyone he's been fucking there he's definitely a strong ally and every Bronycon not inaccurate damn right damn that's old school shit he's in the fucking horseshoe crew basically too this guy this guy is the real he's real he is real he is not fake quote quote from Bronycon era munchie I did not touch the kids as filmed by Victor indeed and uh wait was that Victor oh yeah it was there will be links in the description to Vic's stuff as well so check him out by the way Digi's brother did we mention that did we mention that oh that doesn't matter who cares that doesn't matter one of the Digi bros that we care about he's the new guy I gotta divorce my my content from his so that my audience will actually have more than like 300 people in it understandable alright everybody thanks for being here we'll see you soon it was been a wonderful fucking time bye I'm supposed to be working right now supposed to be working right I'm myself I'm