 Dead Souls Part 2 Chapter 3 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Dead Souls by Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol Translated by DJ Hogarth Part 2 Chapter 3 Read by Ewan Baelis If Colonel Cosh Gareth should turn out to be as mad as the last one It is a bad look out said Chichicof to himself On opening his eyes amid fields of open country Everything else having disappeared Saved the vault of heaven and a couple of low-lying clouds Selifan, he went on Did you ask how to get to Colonel Cosh Gareth? Yes, Pauli Vanovic. At least there was such a clatter around the colliasca that I could not But Patruska asked the coachman You fool! How often have I told you not to rely on Patruska? Patruska is a blockhead, an idiot. Besides at the present moment, I believe him to be drunk. No, you are wrong, Baron, put in the person referred to Turning his head with a side long glance After we get down the next hill We shall need but to keep bending round it That is all. Yes, and I suppose you all tell me that Sivnka Is the only thing that has passed your lips? Well, the view at least is beautiful In fact, when one has seen this place One may say that one has seen one of the beauty spots of Europe This said, Chichikov added to himself smoothing his chin What a difference between the features of a civilised man of the world And those of a common lacking? Meanwhile, the colliasca quickened its pace And Chichikov once more caught sight of Chinchetnikov's Aspen-studded meadows Undulating gently on elastic springs The vehicle cautiously descended the steep incline And then proceeded past water mills Rumbled over a bridge or two And jolted easily along the rough set road Which traversed the flats Not a molehill, not a mound jarred the spine The vehicle was comfort itself Swiftly, there flew by clumps of osears And slender elder trees And silver-leaved hoplars Their branches brushing against Salifan and Petrushka And at intervals depriving the belly of his cap Each time that this happened The sullen-faced servitor fell to cursing Both the tree responsible for the occurrence And the landowner responsible for the tree being in existence Yet nothing would induce him thereafter Either to tie on the cap Or tie it with his hand So complete was his assurance That the accident would never be repeated Soon to the foregoing trees There became added an occasional birch or spruce fir While in the dense undergrowth around their roots Could be seen the blue iris And the yellow wood tulip Gradually, the forest grew darker As though eventually the obscurity would become complete Through the trunks and the boughs There began to gleam points of light Like glittering mirrors And as the number of trees lessened These points grew larger Until the travellers debout Upon the shore of the lake Four bursts also into comforts And having on its further margin The grey, scattered loghuts of a peasant village In the water a great commotion was in progress In the first place Some twenty men immersed to the knee To the breast or to the neck Were dragging a large fishing net inshore While in the second place There was entangled in the same In addition to some fish A stout man shaped precisely like a melon Or a hog's head Greatly excited He was shouting at the top of his voice Let's cosmo manage it You louder a Dennis Cosmo, take the end of the rope from Dennis Don't bear so hard on it, Tomer Bolshoi Bolshoi, being the elder Go where Tomer Menchef is Menchef, being the younger Dammit, bring the net to land, will ye? From this it became clear That it was not on his own account That the stout man was worrying Indeed, he had no need to do so Since his fat would in any case Have prevented him from sinking Yes, even if he had turned head over heels In an effort to dive The water would persistently have borne him up And the same if say a couple of men Had jumped on his back The only result would have been That he would have become a trifled deeper submerged And forced to draw breath By spouting bubbles through his nose No, the cause of his agitation Was lest the net should break and the fish escape Wherefore, he was urging some additional peasants Who were standing on the bank to lay hold on And to pull at an elder rope or two That must be the Baron Colonel Koschgereth said cellifag Why? asked Chichico Because, if you please His skin is whiter than the rest And he has the respectable point to a gentleman Meanwhile, good progress was being made With the hauling in of the Baron Until, feeling the ground with his feet He rose to an upright position And at the same moment Caught sight of the Koliaska With Chichicoff seated therein Desending the decubity Have you dined yet? shouted the Baron As, still entangled in the net He approached the shore with a huge fish on his back With one hand shading his eyes from the sun And the other thrown backwards He looked in points of pose Like the Medici Venus emerging from her bath No, replied Chichicoff Raising his cap And executing a series of bowls Then, thank God for that Rejoined the gentleman Why? asked Chichicoff With no little curiosity And still holding his cap over his head Because of this Cast off the net, Thomas Mencher And pick up that sturgeon for the gentleman To see, go and help him Telepen Cresma With that, the peasants indicated Picked up by the head What was a veritable monster of a fish Isn't it a beauty? A sturgeon fresh run from the river? Let's claim the stout Baron And now, let us be off home Coachman, you can take the lower road Through the kitchen garden Run new, loud of a tomobol shy And open the gate for him He will guide you to the house And I myself shall be along presently Thereupon, the bare-legged tomobol shy Cladded nothing but a shirt Ran ahead of the Colliasca through the village Every hut of which had hanging in front of it A variety of nets For the reason that every inhabitant of the place Was a fisherman Next, he opened the gate Into a large vegetable enclosure And then the Colliasca emerged into a square Near a wooden church With, showing beyond the latter The roofs of the memorial homestead A queer fellow that Koshkara Said Chichikov to himself Well, whatever I may be At least I'm here said a voice by his side Chichikov looked round and perceived that In the meanwhile The Baron had dressed himself And overtaken the carriage With a pair of yellow trousers He was wearing a grass-green jacket And his neck was as giltless Or as cupids Also, as he sat sideways in his drojki His bulk was such that he completely filled the vehicle Chichikov was about to make some remark or another When the stout gentleman disappeared And presently his drojki Re-emerged into view at the spot Where the fish had been drawn to land And his voice could be heard Reiterating exultations to his serfs Yet when Chichikov reached the veranda Of the house he found to his intense surprise The stout gentleman waiting to welcome the visitor How he had contrived to convey himself Over past Chichikov's comprehension Host and guest embraced three times According to a bygone customer of Russia Evidently the Baron was one of the old school I bring you said Chichikov A greeting from his Excellency From whom? From your relative General Alexander Dimitriovic Who is Alexander Dimitriovic? What? You do not know General Alexander Dimitriov better chef? Let's claim Chichikov with a touch of surprise No, I do not, replied the gentleman Chichikov's surprise grew to absolute astonishment How comes that about? He ejaculated I hope that I have the honour of addressing Colonel Koshkareff Your hopes are in vain It is to my house, not to his that you have come And I am Peter Petrovic Pietuch Yes, Peter Petrovic Pietuch Chichikov dumbfounded turned to Salifant and Petruska What do you mean? He exclaimed He told you to drive to the house of Colonel Koshkareff Where you have brought me to that of Peter Petrovic Pietuch All the same your fellows have done quite right Putting the gentleman referred to Did you, this to Salifant and Petruska Go to the kitchen where they will give you a glassful of vodka apiece Then put up the horses and be off to the servants quarters I regret the mistake extremely said Chichikov But it is not a mistake When you have tried the dinner which I have in store for you Just see whether you think it a mistake Enter I beg of you And taking Chichikov by the arm The host conducted him within Where they were met by a couple of youths Let me introduce my two sons Home for their holidays from the gymnasium Said Pietuch Nicolasia, come and entertain our good visitor While you, Alexashka, follow me And with that the host disappeared Chichikov turned to Nicolasia Whom he found to be a budding man about town Since at first he opened a conversation By stating that as no good was to be derived From studying at a provincial institution He and his brother desired to remove Rather to St. Petersburg The provinces not being worth living in I quite understand Chichikov's thought to himself The end of the chapter will be Confectioners' Assistance and the Boulevard Tell me, he added aloud How does your father's property at present stand? It is all mortgaged Putting the father himself at the end of the room Yes, it is all mortgaged Every bit of it What a fitting thought Chichikov At this rate it will not belong With no property at all left I must hurry my departure Allowed, he said, with an air of sympathy That you have mortgaged the estate Seems to me a matter of regret No, not at all, replied Peter In fact they tell me That it is a good thing to do And that everyone else is doing it Why should I differently from my neighbours? Moreover, I have had enough of living here And should like to try Moscow More especially since my sons Are always begging me to give them A metropolitan education How the fool, the fool reflected Chichikov He is for throwing up everything And making spend-fits of his sons Yet this is a nice property And it is clear that the local peasants Are doing well And that the family too is comfortable On the other hand As soon as ever these lads begin their education In restaurants and theatres The devil will away With every stick of their substance For my own part I could desire nothing better Than this quiet life in the country Let me guess what is on your mind Said Peter Tuch What then? As Chichikov rather taken aback You are thinking to yourself That fool of a Peter Tuch has asked me to dinner Yet not a bite of dinner do I see But wait a little It will be ready presently Here it is being cooked As fast as a maiden Who has had her hair cut off Plats herself a new set of tresses Here comes Platon Michalich father That's claimed Aleksashka Who had been peeping out of the window Yes and on a grey horse Having his brother Who is Platon Michalich In quite Chichikov A neighbour of ours An excellent fellow The next moment Platon Michalich Accompanied by a sporting dog Neng Yab He was a tall handsome man With extremely red hair As for his companion It was of the keen mussel species Used for shooting Have you dined yet? Yes replied Platon Indeed? What do you mean by coming here to laugh at us all? Do I ever go to your place after dinner? Then you can smile Well if it can bring you any comfort He said Let me tell you that I ate nothing at the meal For I had no appetite But you should see what I have caught What sort of a sturgeon fate has brought my way Yes And what crucians and carp Really it tires one to hear you How come you always have to be so cheerful? And how come you always have to be so gloomy? You taught at the host Well you asked Simply because I am so The truth is that you don't eat enough Try the plan of making a good dinner Wearing us that everything is a modern invention Once upon a time One never heard of it Well boast away But have you yourself never been tired of things Never in my life I do not so much as know whether I should find time to be tired In the morning when one awakes The cook is waiting and the dinner has to be ordered Then one drinks one's morning tea And then the bailiff arrived for his orders And then there is fishing to be done And then one's dinner has to be eaten Next before one has even had the chance to utter a snor There enters once again the cook And one has to order supper And when she has departed Behold back she comes with a request for the following day's dinner What time does that leave once we worry of things? Throughout this conversation Chichicof had been taking stock of the newcomer Who astonished him with his good looks His upright picturesque figure His appearance of fresh, unwasted youthfulness And the boyish purity, innocence And the clarity of his features Neither passion nor care Nor wrth of the nature of agitation Or anxiety of mind Had ventured to touch his unsullid face Or to lay a single wring called thereon Yet the touch of life Which these emotions might have imparted was wanting The face was, as it were, dreaming Even though from time to time An ironical smile disturbed it I too cannot understand, you mark Chichicof How a man of your appearance can find things very soon Of course, if a man is hard-pressed for money Or if he has enemies who are lying in wait for his life As have certain folk whom I know Well then, believe me when I say Enter up to the handsome guest That for the sake of a diversion I should be glad that any sort of anxiety Would that some enemy would conceive a good against me? No-one does so Everything remains eternally dull But perhaps you lack a sufficiency of land or souls Not at all I and my brother own 10,000 desiitins of land And over a thousand souls The desiitin is 2.86 English acres Curious, I do not understand it But perhaps the harvest has failed Or you have sickness about And many of your male peasants have died of it On the contrary, everything is in splendid order For my brother is the best of managers Then to find things wearysome Explain Chichicof It passes my comprehension And he shrugged his shoulders Well, we will soon put weariness to flight Enter up to the host Alexashka, do you run helter-skelter to the kitchen And there tell the cook to serve the fish pasties Yes, and where have that gawk of anemelian And that thief of anantoshka got to Why have they not handed round the zakuski At this moment the door opened And the gawk and the thief in question Made their appearance with napkins in the tray The latter, bearing six decanters Of variously coloured beverages These they placed upon the table And then ringed them about with glasses And platefuls of every conceivable kind of appetiser That done, the servants applied themselves To bring in various conestibles in the covers Through which could be heard the hissing Of hot roast liens In particular did the gawk and the thief Work hard at their tasks As a matter of fact, their appellations Had been given them nearly to spur them To greater activity for in January The bearing was no liberal abuse But rather a kind hearted man Who, like most Russians Could not get on without a sharp word or two That is to say, he needed them for his tongue As he needed a glass of vodka for his digestion What else could you expect? It was his nature to care for nothing mild To the zakuski succeeded the meal itself And the host became a perfect glutton On his guest's behalf Should he notice that a guest Had taken but a single piece of a commestible? He added there to another one saying Without a mate, neither man nor bird Can live in this world Should anyone take two pieces? He added there to a third saying What is the good of a number two? God loves a trinity Should anyone take three pieces? He would say Where do you see a wagon with three wheels? Who builds a three-cornered hut? Lastly, should anyone take four pieces? He would cap them with a fifth And add there to the punning quip Napiat opiat That is, one more makes five After devouring at least 12 steaks of sturgeon Chichicoff venture to feed to himself My host cannot possibly add to them But found that he was mistaken For, without a word Piotr heaped upon his plate An enormous portion of spit-roasted veal And also some kidneys And what veal it was That calf was fed two years on milk yesterday I cared for it like my own son Nevertheless, I can eat no more Said Chichicoff Do you try the veal before you say that you can eat no more? But I could not get it down my throat There is no room left If there be no room in the church for newcomer The beetle is sent for And room is very soon made Yes, even though before there was such a crush That an apple could have been dropped between the people Do you try the veal I say That piece is the tit bit of all So Chichicoff made the attempt And in very truth the veal was beyond all praise And room was found for it Even though one would have supposed defeat impossible Fancy this good fellow Removing to Saint Peter's Burg on Moscow Said the guest to himself Why, with a scale of living like this He would be ruined in three years For that matter, Piotrch might well have been ruined already The hospitality would dissipate a fortune in three months As easily it can in three years The host also dispensed the wine with a lavish hand And what the guest did not drink he gave to his sons Who thus swallowed glass after glass Indeed, even before coming to table It was possible to discern To what the patterns of human accomplishment There bent was turned When the meal was over however The guests had no mind to further drinking Indeed, it was all that they could do To drag themselves onto the balcony And there to relax into easy chairs Indeed, the moment that the host Subsided into his seat It was large enough before he fell asleep And his portly presence Converting itself into a sort of blacksmith's bellows Started to vent through open mouth And distended nostrils Such sounds as can have greeted the readers here But seldom Sounds as of a drum being beaten In combination with the whistling of a flute And the strident howling of a dog Listen to him said Platon Chitchatroff smiled Naturally on such diners as that Continued the other Our host does not find the time gone And as soon as dinner is ended They can inshew sleep Yes, but pardon me I still fail to understand why you should be To find life weary soon There are so many resources against anewing As for instance For a young man dancing The playing of one or another musical instrument And well, yes, marriage Marriage to who? To some maiden who is both charming and rich Are there none in these parts? No Then, where are you? I should travel and seek a maiden elsewhere And a brilliant idea there with hands of Chitchatroff's head This last resource, the undead, Is the best of all resources against anewing What resource are you speaking of? Of travel But with her Well, should it so please you You might join me as my companion This said, the speaker added to himself As the eyed platon Yes, that would suit you exactly For then I should have half my expenses paid And could charge him also With the cost of mending the Koliaskar And with her should we go In that respect I am not wholly my own master As I have business to do for others As well as for myself For instance, General Bestreschef An intimate friend, and I might have A generous benefactor of mine Has charged me with commissions To certain of his relatives However, though relatives are relatives I am travelling likewise on my own account Since I wish to see the world And the worldly gig of humanity Which, in spite of what people may say Is as good as a living book or a second education As a matter of fact, Chitchatroff is reflective Yes, that plan is an excellent one I might even contrive that he should have To bear the whole of our expenses And that his horses should be used While my own should be put out to graze On his farm Well, why should I not adopt the suggestion Of his platon's daughter There is nothing to do with me at home Since the management of the estate Is in my brother's hands And my going would cause him no inconvenience Yes, why should I not be With Chitchatroff has suggested Then he had to go out Would you come and stay with my brother For a couple of days Otherwise he might refuse me his consent With great pleasure said Chitchatroff Or even for three days Then here is my hand on it Let us be off at once Platon seems suddenly to have come to life again Worry off too Put in their host unexpectedly As he roused himself Instead of in astonishment at the pair No, no, my good sirs I have had the wheels removed from your colliasco Monsieur Chitchatroff And I've sent your horse platon, Michelige To grazing ground Fifteen versed away Consequently, you must spend the night here And depart tomorrow morning after breakfast What could be done with a man like Piotr? There was no help there but to remain In return the guests were rewarded with a beautiful spring evening Thought to spend the time The host organised the boating expedition on the river And a dozen rowers with a dozen pairs of oars Convaved the party to the accompaniment of song Across the smooth surface of the lake And up a great river with towering banks From time to time the boat would pass on the ropes Stretched across the purposes of fishing And at each turn of the rippling current New vistas enfelt themselves As tier upon tier of woodland Delighted the eye with the diversity of timber and foliage In unison did the rowers ply their skulls Yet it was a row of itself that the skiff shot forward Birdlike over the glassy surface of the water While at intervals the broad-shouldered young oarsmen Who were seated third from the bow Would raise as from a nightingale's throat The opening staves of the boat song And then be joined by five or six more Until the melody had come to pour forth in a volume of As free and boundless as Russia herself And Piotruch too would give himself a shape And help lustily to support the chorus And even Chichikov felt acutely conscious of the fact that he was a Russian Only Platon reflected What is there so splendid in these melancholy songs They do but increase one's depression of spirits The journey homeward was made in the gathering dust Rhythmically the oars smoked to surface Which no longer reflected the sky And darkness had fallen when they reached the shore Along which lights were twinkling Where the fisherfolk were boiling rye veals for soup Everything had now wended its way homeward for the night The castle and the poultry had been housed And the herdsmen standing at the gates of the village Caffol pens amid the trailing dust Lately raised by their charges Were awaiting the milk-pales And a summons the partake of the eel broth Through the dusk came the home of humankind And the barking of dogs in other and more distant villages While overall the moon was rising And the darkened countryside was beginning to burn up To light again under her beams What a glorious picture Yet no-one thought of admiring it Instead of galloping over the countryside On flisky cobs, Nicolasha and Alexashka Were engaged in dreaming of Moscow With its confectioners shops And the theatres of which a cadet Newly arrived on a visit from the capital Had just been telling them While their father had his mind full Of how best to stuff his guests with yet more food And platon was given up to your name Only in Chichikov was a spice of animation visible Yes, he reflected Someday I too would become lord of such a country place And before his mind's eye There arose also a help-meat And some little Chichikovs By the time that supper was finished The party had again overheated themselves And when Chichikov entered the room A lot of him to the night He laid down upon the bed And prodded his stomach It is as tight as a drum he said to himself Not another tip bit of veal could now get into it Also, circumstances are so broad as about That next door to him there was situated His host's apartment And since the intervening wall was thin Chichikov could hear every word that was said there At the present moment The master of the house was engaged In giving the cook orders for what Under the guise of an early breakfast Promised to constitute a veritable dinner You should have heard Piotwch's behests They would have excited the appetite of the corpse Yes, he said, sucking his lips And drawing a deep breath In the first place Make capacity in four divisions Into one of the divisions Put the sturgeon's cheeks And some via ziga That is, dried spinal marrow of the sturgeon And into another division Some book week porridge Young mushrooms and onions Sweet milk Carves brains And anything else that you may find suitable Anything else that you may have got handed Also, bake the pastry to a nice brown on one side And put lightly on the other Yes, and as to the underside Bake it so that it will be all juicy and flaky So that it shall not crumble into bits But melt in the mouth like the softest snow That ever you heard of And as he said this Piotwch fairly smacked his lips The devil take him What a chichikov Thrusting his head beneath the bed To avoid hearing more The fellow won't give one a chance to sleep Nevertheless, he heard through the blankets And garnished the sturgeon with beetroot Smelt Peppered mushrooms Young radishes Carrots, beans And anything else that you like So as to have plenty of trees Yes And put a lump of ice into the pigs bladder So as to swell it up Many other dishes did Piotwch order And nothing was to be heard Or could boil him, roast him and stew him Finally Just as mentioned was being made of a turkey cock Chichikov fell asleep Next morning The guests stayed to the kitchen Had reached the point of Platon Being unable to mount his horse Wherefore The latter was dispatched homeward With one of Piotwch's greens And the two guests Entered Chichikov's colliasco Even the dog trotted lazily in the rear For he too had over-eaten himself It has been rather too much of a good thing We marked Chichikov as the vehicle issue From the courtyard Yes And it vexes me to see The fellow never tired of it Replied Platon Ah, got Chichikov to himself If I had an income of 70,000 rubles As you have I'd very soon give tigers one in the eye Take Murazov, the tax farmer He again must be worth 10 million What a fortune Do you mind where we drive, asked Platon? I should like first to go and take leave of my sister And my brother-in-law With pleasure, said Chichikov My brother-in-law is the leading landowner Hear abouts At the present moment He is drawing an income of 200,000 rubles From a property which eight years ago Was producing about 20,000 Truly a man worthy of the utmost respect I shall be most interested to make his acquaintance To think of it And what may his family name be Konstant Zyuglo And his Christian name and patronymic Konstant team Theodorovic Konstant team Theodorovic Konstant Zyuglo Yes, it will be a most interesting event To make his acquaintance To know such a man must be a whole education Here Platon set himself to give cellophane Some directions as to the way A necessary procedure A beautiful fact that cellophane Could hardly maintain his seat on the box Twice Petruska too had fought headlong And this necessitated being tied to his perch With a piece of rope A plwn had been chytiwch of some comments This is where my brother-in-law's land begins Said Platon They give what a change of view And indeed from this point The countryside became planted with timber The rows of trees running as straight as pistol shots And having beyond them an on higher ground A second expense of forest Newly planted like the first While beyond it again loomed a third plantation Of older trees Next, there succeeded a flat piece Of the same nature All this timber, said Platon Has grown up within eight or ten years at the most Whereas on another man's land It would have taken twenty to attain the same growth And how has your brother-in-law affected this? You must ask him yourself He is so excellent at husband thing That nothing ever fails with him You see, he knows the soil And also knows what ought to be planted beside what And what kinds of timber are the best neighbourhood for grain Again, everything on his estate Is made to perform at least three or four different functions For instance, he makes his timber not only serve as timber But also serve as provider of moisture and shade To a given stretch of land Then as a fertiliser with its fallen leaves Consecretly, when everywhere else there is drought He still has water And when everywhere else there has been a failure of the harvest On his lands it will approve the success But it is a pity that I know so little about it all As to be unable to explain to you his many expedients Folk call him a wizard For he produced so much Nevertheless, personally I find what he does uninteresting Truly an astonishing fellow Reflected Chichicof with a glance at his companion It is sad indeed to see a man so superficial As to be unable to explain matters of this kind At length, the manner appeared in sight An establishment looking almost like a town So numerous were the huts where they stood arranged in three tiers Crowned with three churches And surrounded with huge ricks and barns Yes, thought Chichicof to himself One can see what a jewel of a landowner lives here The huts in question was stoutly built And the interdining alleys well laid out While wherever a wagon was visible It looked serviceable and more or less new Also, the local peasants bore an intelligent look on their faces The cattle were the best possible breed And even the peasants picked belong to the poor kind aristocracy Clearly there dwelt here peasants who, to quote the song Were accustomed to pick up silver by the shawthog Nor were English-ified gardens and parteres And other conceits and evidence But on the contrary There ran an open view in the manor house To the farm buildings and the workman's cots So that, after the old Russian fashion The baron should be able to keep an eye upon all that was going on around him For the same purpose The mansion was topped with a tall lantern And a superstructure A device designed not for ornament Nor for a vantage spot for a contemplation of the view But the supervision of the labourers Engaged in distant fields Lastly, the brisk active servant who received the visitors on the veranda Were very different menials from the drunken patrushka Even though they did not wear swallow-tailed coats But only Cossack checkmenu A blue homespun cloth Checkmenu being long-belted tar-tablises The lady of the house also issued onto the veranda With her face of the freshness of blood and milk And the brightness of God's daylight She has nearly resembled Platon As one P resembles another Save that, whereas he was languid She was cheerful and full of talk Good day, brother! she cried How glad I am to see you! Constantine is not at home but will be back presently Where is he? Doing business in the village with a party of factors Replied the labour that she conducted her guests to the drawing group With no little curiosity Did Chichikov gaze at the interior of the mansion Inhabited by the man Who received an annual income of 200,000 rubles For he thought to discern therefrom the nature of his proprietor Even as from a shell One may deduce the species of oyster or snail Which has been its tenant And has left there in its impression But no such conclusions were to be drawn The rooms were simple and even bare Not a fresco Nor a picture Nor a bronze Nor a flower Nor a china what not Nor a book was there to be seen In short, everything appeared to show That the proprietor of this abode Spent the greater part of his time Not between four walls But in the field And that he thought out his plans Not in ciberitic clashing by the fireside Nor in an easy chair beside the stone But on the spot where work was actually in progress That, in a word Where these plans worked and see There they were put into execution Nor in these rooms could Chichikov Detect the least trace of a feminine ham Beyond the fact that certain tables and chairs For drying boards were upon Were arranged some sprinklings of flower petals What is all this rubbish floor Asked Platon It is not rubbish replied the lady of the house On the contrary It is the best possible remedy for fever Last year we cured every one of our sick peasants with it Some of the petals I am going to make into anointments And some into an infusion You may laugh as much as you like At my potting and preserving Yet you yourself will be glad of things of the kind When you set out on your travels Platon moved to the piano And began to pick out on no tour too Good Lord, what an ancient instrument he exclaimed Are you not ashamed of its sister? Well, the truth is that I get no time to practice my music You see, she added Chichikov I have an eight-year-old daughter to educate And to hand her over to a foreign governess In order that I may have leisure for my own piano playing Well, that is a thing which I could never bring myself to do You have become a weary some sort of person Coming to Platon and walked away to the window Ah, here comes Constantine presently he added Chichikov also glanced out of the window And saw approaching the veranda a brisk Swore the complexion man were about 40 A man cladded in a rough cloth jacket And the velveteam cap Evidently, he was one of those who care little For a nicer to his address With him, bare-headed, there came a couple of men Of a somewhat lower station in life And all three were engaged in an animated discussion One of the barons two companions was a plain peasant And the other cladded in a blue Siberian smog A travelling factor The fact that the party halted the world And the entrance steps made it possible to overhear A portion of their conversation in within This is what you peasants have better do Purchased your release from your present master I will lend you the necessary money And afterwards you can work for me No, Constantine Theodorovic replied the peasants Why should we do that? Remove us just as we are You will know how to arrange it For a cleverer gentleman we knew Is nowhere to be found The misfortune of us Muzhiks Is that we cannot protect ourselves properly The tavern keepers sell us such liquor That, before a man knows where he is A glassful of it has eaten at all through his stomach And made him feel as though he could drink a pail of water Yes, it knocks a man over before he can look around Everywhere temptation lies in work for the peasants And he needs to be cunning If he is to get through the world at all In fact, things seem to be contrived for nothing But to make us peasants lose our wits Even to the tobacco which they sell us Water felt like ourselves to do, Constantine Theodorovic I tell you it is terribly difficult for a Muzhik To look after himself Listen to me, this is how things are done here When I take on a serve I fit him out with a cow and a horse On the other hand, I demanded him thereafter More than is demanded of a peasant anywhere else That is to say, first and foremost, I make him work Whether a peasant be working for himself or for me Never do I let him waste time I myself toil like a bullock And I force my peasants to do the same For experience has taught me That this is the only way to get through life All the mischief in the world Comes through lack of employment Now, do you go and consider the matter And talk it over with your mere Near do you, village commie We have done that already, Constantine Theodorovic In our elders opinion is There is no need for further talk Every peasant belonging to Constantine Theodorovic Is well off and hasn't to work for nothing The priest of his village too are men of good heart Whereas ours had been taken away No-one to bury us Nevertheless, do you go and talk the matter over again We will, baron Here the factor who had been walking on the baron's other side Putting a word, Constantine Theodorovic He said, I beg of you to do as I have requested I have told you before, replied the byg That I do not care to play the hookster I am not one of those landowners The fellows of your sort visit on the very day That the interest on a mortgage is due Ah, I know your fraternity thoroughly And know that you keep lists of old Who have mortgages to repay But what is there so clever about that Any man, if you pinch him sufficiently Will surrender you a mortgage at half price Any man, that is to say, except myself Who care nothing for your money Were alone of mine to remain out three years I should never demand the co-peg of interest on it Quite so, Constantine Theodorovic Replied the factor But I am asking this of you More for the purpose of establishing us on a business footing Than because I desire to win your favour Pray, therefore, accept this earnest money of 3,000 rubles And the man drew from his breast pocket A dirty roll of banknotes which carelessly receiving Constantine Joglo thrust uncounted Into the back pocket to his overcoat Hmm, thought Chichicoff For all he cares, the notes might have been a handkerchief When Constantine Joglo appeared at closer quarters That is to say, in the doorway of the drawing board He struck Chichicoff more than ever With the swathiness of his complexion The dishevelment of his black, slightly grizzled locks The alertness of his eye And the impression of fiery southern origin Which his old personality diffused For he was not wholly a Russian Nor could he himself say precisely who his forefathers had been Yet, inasmuch as he accounted genealogical research No part of the science of estate management But to mere superfluity He looked upon himself as, to all intents and purposes A native of Russia And more so, since the Russian language was the only tongue he knew Platon presented Chichicoff And the pair exchanged greetings To get rid of my depression, Constantine Continued Platon I am thinking of accompanying our guest on a tour Through a few of the provinces An excellent idea, said Constantine Joglo But precisely wither he added Turning hospitably to Chichicoff I say of the truth, replied that personage With an affable inclination of the head As he smoothed the arm of his chair with his hand I am travelling less on my own affairs Than on the affairs of others That is to say, General Patricia An intimate friend, and I might have A generous benefactor of mine Has charged me with commissions to some of his relatives Nevertheless, though relatives are relatives I may say that I am travelling on my own account as well In that, in addition to possible benefit to my health I desire to see the world and the whirligig of humanity Which constitutes, so to speak, a living book A second course of education Yes, there is no harm in looking at other corners of the world Beside one's own You speak truly There is no harm in such a procedure Thereby, one may see things Which one has not before encountered One may meet men With whom one has not before come in contact And with some men of that kind A conversation is as precious a benefit As has been conferred upon me by the present occasion I come to you most worthy Constantine Theodorovich For instruction and the gain for instruction And I beg of you to assuage my thirst With an exposition of the truth as it is I hunger for the favour of your word as for manna But how so? What can I teach you? Let's claim Constantine's your growing conclusion I myself was given but the plainest of educations Nay, most worthy sir You possess wisdom and again wisdom Wisdom can only direct the management of it Nay, most worthy sir You possess wisdom and again wisdom Wisdom only can direct the management of the greatest date That can derive a sound income from the same That can acquire wealth of a real, not a fictitious order While also forfering the duties of a citizen And thereby earning the respect of the Russian public All this I pray you to teach me I tell you what said Constantine Joglo He was making meditatively at his guest You had better stay with me for a few days And during that time I can show you how things are managed here And explain to you everything Then you will see for yourself that no great wisdom is required for purpose Yes, certainly you must stay here Putting the lady at the house Then turning to her brother she added And you too must stay Why should you be in such a hurry? Well, he replied But what say you, Pauli Valeric? I say the same as you And with much pleasure, replied Chichico But also, I ought to tell you this That there is a relative of General Betrishcheff's A certain Colonel Cosh Gareth Yes, we know him But he is quite mad As you say, he is mad And I should not have been intending to visit him Not that General Betrishcheff Is an intimate friend of mine As well as, I might add My most generous benefactor Then, said Constantine Joglo Do you go and see Colonel Cosh Gareth now? He lives less than ten bursts from here And I have a gig already harnessed Go to him at once and return here for tea An excellent idea, replied Chichico And with that, he sees this cap End of part two, chapter three, section one Dead Souls, part two, chapter three, section two This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Dead Souls by Nikolai Vazirevich Gogol Translated by DJ Hogarth Part two, chapter three, section two Read by Anosimon Half an hour's drive Sufficed to bring him to the Colonel's establishment The village attached to the manor Was in a state of utter confusion Since in every direction, building and repairing operations were in progress And the alleys were choked with heaps of lime, bricks and beams of wood Also, some of the huts were arranged to resemble offices Prescribed in guild letters Depot for agricultural implements Chief office of accounts A state works committee Normal school for the education of colonists And so forth Chichicoff found the Colonel posted behind a desk And holding a pen between his teeth Without an instance delay, the master of the establishment Who seemed a kindly, approachable man And according to his visitor a very civil welcome Plunged into a recital of the labour It cost him to bring the property to its present condition of affluence Then he went on to lament the fact That he could not make his peasantry Understand the incentives to labour Which the riches of science and art provide For instance, he had failed to induce his female serfs To wear corsets, whereas in Germany Where he had resided for fourteen years Every humble miller's daughter could play the piano Nonetheless he said he meant to peg away Until every peasant on the estate should As he walked behind the plough Indulged in a regular course Of reading Franklin's notes on electricity Virgil's Georgics Or some work on the chemical properties of soil Good gracious Mentally exclaimed Chichicoff Why, I myself have not had time To finish that book by the Duchess de la Valiere Much else, the Colonel said In particular did he aver that Provided the Russian peasant could be induced To array himself in German costume Science would progress, trade increase And the golden age dawn in Russia For a while Chichicoff listened with distended eyes Then he felt constrained to intimate That with all that he had nothing to do Seeing that his business was merely to acquire a few souls And thereafter to have their purchase confirmed If I understand your rights, Colonel You wish to present a statement of plea Yes, that is so Then kindly put it into writing And shall be forwarded to the office For the reception of reports and returns Thereafter that office will consider it And return it to me who will in turn Dispatch it to the Estate Works Committee Who will in turn revise it And present it to the administrator Who jointly with the secretary will Pardon me, exposterated Chichicoff But that procedure will take up a great deal of time Why need I put the matter into writing at all That is simply this I want a few souls which are Well, which are so to speak dead Very good, commented the Colonel Do you write down in your statement of plea That the souls which you desire are so to speak dead But what would be the use of my doing so Though the souls are dead My purpose requires that they should be represented As alive Very good, again commented the Colonel Do you write down in your statement That it is necessary Or should you prefer an alternative phrase It is requested, or it is desiderated Or it is prayed That the souls be represented as alive At all events, without documentary process of that kind The matter cannot possibly be carried through Also, I will appoint a commissioner To guide you round the various offices And he sounded a bell Whereupon there presented himself a man Whom addressing as secretary The Colonel instructed to summon the commissioner The letter on appearing was seen to have the air Half of a peasant, half of an official This man, the Colonel said to Chichicoff Will act as your escort What could be done with a lunatic like Koschkariff In the end, curiosity moved Chichicoff To accompany the commissioner The committee for the reception of reports and returns Was discovered to have put up its shutters And to have locked its doors For the reason that the director of the committee Had been transferred to the newly formed Committee of estate management And his successor had been annexed By the same committee Next, Chichicoff and his escort Wrapped at the doors of a department of estate affairs But that department's quarters Happened to be in a state of repair And no one could be made to answer the summons Save a drunken peasant From whom not a word of sense was to be extracted At length, the escort Felt himself moved to remark There is a deal of foolishness going on here Fellows like that drunkard Lead the barren by the nose And everything is ruled by the committee of management Which takes man from their proper work And sets them to do any other it likes Indeed, only through the committee Does anything get done By this time, Chichicoff felt That he'd seen enough Before he returned to the colonel And informed him that the office for the reception Of reports and returns had ceased to exist At once, the colonel flamed to noble rage Pressing Chichicoff's hand in token of gratitude For the information which the guest had furnished He took paper and pen And noted eight searching questions Under three separate headings One Why has the committee of management presumed To issue orders to officials Not under jurisdiction Two Why has the chief manager permitted his predecessor Though still in retention of his post To follow him to another department And three Why has the committee of estate affairs Suffered the office for the reception Of reports and returns to laps Now for a row, told Chichicoff to himself And turned to depart But his host stopped him, saying I cannot let you go for In addition to my honour having become involved It behoves me to show my people How the regular, the organised Administration of an estate may be conducted Herewith, I will hand over the conduct of your affair To a man who is worth all the rest of the staff put together And has had a university education Also, the better to lose no time May I humbly beg you to step into my library Where you will find notebooks, paper, pens And everything else that you may require Of these articles, pray make full use For you are a gentleman of letters And it is your and my joint duty To bring enlightenment to all So saying, he ushered his guest Into a large room lined from floor to ceiling With books and stuffed specimens The books in question were divided into section A section on forestry, a section on cattle breeding A section on the raising of swine And a section on horticulture Together with special journals of the type Circulated merely for the purpose of reference And not for general reading Perceiving that these works were scarcely of a kind Calculated to while away in idle hour Chychigof turned to a second bookcase But to do so was to fall out of the frying pan into the fire For the contents of the second bookcase Proved to be works on philosophy While, in particular, six huge volumes Confronted him under a label inscribed A preparatory course to the province of thought With the theory of community of effort Cooperation and subsistence In his application to a right understanding Of the organic principles of a mutual division Of social productivity Indeed, where soever Chychigof looked Every page presented to his vision Some such words as phenomenon, development Abstract, constants and synopsis This is not the sort of thing for me He murmured and turned his attention to a third bookcase Which contained books on the arts Extracting a huge tome in which some By no means reticent, mythological Illustrations were contained He set himself to examine these pictures They were of the kind which pleases mostly Middle-aged bachelors and old men Who are accustomed to seeking the ballet And similar frivolities A furthest spur to their waning passions Having concluded his examination Chychigof had just extracted another volume Of the same species When Colonel Koschkaref returned With a document of some sort and a radiant countenance Everything has been carried through in due form He cried The man whom I mentioned is a genius indeed And I intend not only to promote him over the rest But also to create for him a special department Herewith shall you hear what a splendid intellect is his And how in a few minutes he has put the whole affair in order May the Lord be thanked for that Thought Chychigof Then he settled himself while the Colonel read aloud After giving full consideration to the reference Which your excellency has entrusted to me I have the honour to report as follows One In the statement of plea presented by one Paul Ivanovich Chychigof Gentleman, chavellier, and collegiate councillor There lurks an error in that an oversight has let the petitioner Apply to revisional souls the term dead Now from the context it would appear that by this term The petitioner desires to signify souls approaching death Rather than souls actually deceased Wherefore the term employed portrays such an empirical instruction In letters as must, beyond doubt, have been confined to the village school Seeing that in truth the soul is deadless The rascal, Rokoshkaref broke off to exclaim delightedly He has got you there, Mr Chychigof And you will admit that he has sufficiently incisive pen Two On this estate there exist no unmarkaged souls whatsoever Whether approaching death or otherwise For the reason that all souls thereon have been pledged Not only under a first deed of mortgage But also for the sum of 150 rubles per soul Under a second The village of Gormelofka alone accepted In that, in consequence of a suit having been brought Against landowner Priadyschef And of a caveat having been pronounced by the land court And of such caveat having been published in number 42 Of the Gazette of Moscow The third village has come within the jurisdiction Of the court above mentioned Why did you not tell me all this before? Cry Chychigof furiously Why have you kept me dancing about for nothing? Because it was absolutely necessary That you should view the matter through forms of documentary process This is no jest on my part The inexperienced may see things subconsciously Yet it is imperative that he should also see them consciously But to Chychigof's patience an ant had come Seizing his cap and casting all ceremony to the winds He fled from the house and rushed through the courtyard As it happened, the man who had driven him thither Had worn by experience not troubled even to take out the horses Since he knew that such a proceeding would have entailed Not only the presentation of a statement of plea for fodder But also a delay of 24 hours until the resolution Granting the same should have been passed Nevertheless, the colonel pursued his guest to the gates And pressed his hand warmly as he thanked him for having enabled him, the colonel Thus to exhibit in operation the proper management of an estate Also he begged to state that under the circumstances It was absolutely necessary to keep things moving and circulating Since otherwise slackness was apt to supervene And the working of the machine to grow rusty and feeble But that, in spite of all, the present occasion had inspired him with a happy idea Namely, the idea of instituting a committee which should be entitled The Committee of Supervision of the Committee of Management And which should have for its function the detection of backsliders Among the body first mentioned It was late when, tired and dissatisfied, Chychigof regained Costangioglo's munchen Indeed, the candles had long been lit What has delayed you? asked the master of the house As Chychigof entered the drawing room Yes, what has kept you and the colonel so long in conversation together added pleton This, the fact that never in my life have I come across such an imbecile Was Chychigof's reply Never mind, said Costangioglo Costangioglo is a most reassuring phenomenon He is necessary in that in him we see expressed in caricature All the more crying follies of our intellectuals Of the intellectuals who, without first troubling to make themselves acquainted with their own country Borrow silliness from abroad Yet that is how certain of our land owners are now carrying on They have set up offices and factories and schools and commissions And the devil knows what else besides A fine lot of wise acres After the French war in 1812 They had to reconstruct their affairs And see how they have done it He had so much worse have they done it Than a Frenchman would have done And any fool of a Peter Petrovic pierdwch Now ranks as a good land owner But he has mortgaged the whole of his estate Remarked Chychigof Yes, nowadays everything is being mortgaged Or is going to be This said, Costangioglo's temper rose till further Out upon your factories of hats and candles He cried Out upon procuring candle makers from London And then turning land owners into haxtas To think of a Russian pomiestchig A member of the noblest of callings Conducting workshops and cotton mills Why, it is for the benches of towns To handle looms for muslin and leis But you yourself maintain workshops Remarked Pleiton I do But who established them? They established themselves For instance, wool had accumulated And since I had no way to store it I began to weave it into cloth Put mark you, only into good plain cloth Of which I can dispose at a cheap rate In local markets and which is needed by peasants Including my own Again, for six years on end The fish factories keep dumping their offal On my bank of the river Wherefore at last, as there was nothing to be done with it I took to boiling it into glue And cleared forty-thousand rubles by the process That devil thought Chechikov to himself As he stared as his host What a fist this man has for making money Another reason why I started those factories Continued Castan Zochlo Is that they might give employment to many peasants Who would otherwise have starved You see, the year happened to have been a lean one Thanks to those same industry mongering land owners In that they had neglected to sew their crops And now my factories keep growing At the rate of a factory a year Owing to the circumstance that such quantities Of remnants and cuttings Become so accumulated that If a man looks carefully to his management He will find every sort of rubbish To be capable of bringing in a return Yes, to the point of his having to reject money On the plea that he has no need of it Yet I do not find that to do all this Are required to build a mansion With facades and pillars Marvellous, exclaimed Chechikov Beyond all things does it surprise me That refuse can be so utilised Yes, and that is what can be done by simple methods But nowadays everyone is a mechanic And wants to open that money chest With an instrument instead of simply For that purpose he hies him to England Yes, that is the thing to do What folly! Gothen Zochlo spat and added Yet when he returns from abroad He is a hundred times more ignorant Than when he went Ah, Constantine, put in his wife anxiously He know how bad for you it is To talk like this Yes, but how am I to help losing my temper? The thing touches me too closely It vexes me too deeply The thing that the Russian character Should be degenerating For in that character there is dawned A sort of kishotism Which never used to be there Yes, no sooner does a man get a little Education into his head Than he becomes a donkey shot And establishes schools on his estate Such as even a madman Would never have dreamt of And from that school there issues A workman who is good for nothing Whether in the country or in the town A fellow who drinks and is forever standing on his dignity Yet still our landowners keep taking To philanthropy, to converting themselves Into philanthropic knights erent And spending millions upon senseless hospitals And institutions and so ruining themselves And turning their families at drift Yes, that is all that comes of philanthropy Chichico's business had nothing to do With the spread of enlightenment He was but seeking an opportunity To inquire further concerning the pudding Of refuse to lucrative uses But Costangioglo would not let him Get a word in edge ways So irresistibly did the flow Of sarcastic comment poor from the speaker's lips Yes, went on Costangioglo Folk are always scheming to educate the peasant But first make him well off and a good farmer Then he will educate himself fast enough As things are now, the world has grown stupid To a degree that passers-by-leave Look at stuff our present day scribblers write Let any sort of a book be published And at once you'll see everyone making a rush for it Similarly will you find folk saying The peasant leads an over simple life He ought to be familiarised with luxuries And so led to yarn for things above his station And the result of such luxuries will be That the peasant will become a rag rather than a man And suffer from the devil only knows what diseases Until there will remain in the land Not a boy of 18 who will not have experienced The whole gamut of them And found himself left with not a tooth in his jaws Or a hair on his plate Yes, that is what will come Of infecting the peasant with such rubbish But thank God there is still one healthy class Left to us, a class which has never taken up With the advantages of which I speak For that we ought to be grateful And since even yet the Russian agriculturist Remains the most respectworthy man in the land Why should he be touched? Would to God everyone were an agriculturist Then you believe agriculture to be the most profitable Of occupations, said Chichikov The best at all events if not the most profitable In the sweat of thy brow shall thou till the land To quote that requires no great wisdom For the experience of ages has shown us that In the agricultural calling Man has never remained more moral, more pure More noble than any other Of course I do not mean to imply That no other calling ought to be practised Simply that the calling in question Lies at the root of all the rest However much factories may be established privately Or by the law There will still lie ready to a man's hand All that he needs He will still require none of those amenities Which are sapping the vitality of our present day folk Nor any of those industrial establishments Which make their profit and keep themselves going By causing foolish measures to be adopted Which in the end are bound to deprave And corrupt our unfortunate masses I myself am determined never to establish any manufacturer However profitable Which will give rise to a demand for higher things Such as sugar and tobacco No, not if I lose a million by my refusing to do so If corruption must overtake the MIR It shall not be through my hands And I think that God will justify me in my resolve Twenty years have I lived among the common folk And I know what will inevitably come of such things But what surprises me most, persisted Chichikov Is that from refuse it should be possible With good management to make such An immensity of profit And as for political economy Continued Costan Joglo without noticing him And with his face charged with bilious sarcasm As for political economy It is a fine thing indeed Just one fool sitting on another fool's back And flogging him along Even though the writer can see no further than his own nose Yet into the saddle will that fool climb Spectacles and all Oh, the folly, the folly of such things And the speaker spat derisively That may be true, said his wife Yet you must not get angry about it Surely one can speak on such subjects Without losing one's temper As I listen to you most worthy Constantine Theodorović Chichikov hastened to remark It becomes plain to me that you have penetrated into the meaning of life And laid your finger upon the essential root of the matter Yet supposing for a moment we leave the affairs of humanity in general To turn our attention to a purely individual affair Might I ask you how, in the case of a man becoming a landowner And having a mind to grow wealthy as quickly as possible In order that he may fulfil his bound and obligations as a citizen He can best set about it How he can best set about growing wealthy? Repeated Costan Joglo, why? Let us go to supper Interrupted the lady of the house Rising from her chair And moving towards the centre of the room Had her shivering young form in a shawl Chichikov sprang up with the alacrity of a military man Offered her his arm and escorted her as on parade to the dining room Where, awaiting them, there was the soup-tereen From it the lid had just been removed And the room was redolent of the fragrant odour of early spring-roots and herbs The company took their seats And at once the servants placed the remainder of the dishes And the covers upon the table and withdrew For Costan Joglo hated to have servants listening to their employer's conversation And objected still more to their staring at him all the while that he was eating When the soup had been consumed And glasses of an excellent vintage resembling Hungarian wine had been poured out Chichikov said to his host Most worthy sir, allow me once more to direct your attention To the subject of which we were speaking At the point when the conversation became interrupted You will remember that I was asking you How best a man can set about, proceed in the matter of growing Note, here from the original two pages are missing And note A property for which had he asked 40,000 I should still have demanded a reduction Hmm, thought Chichikov, then added aloud But why do you not purchase it yourself? Because to everything there must be assigned a limit Already my property keeps me sufficiently employed Moreover I should cause our local dvorion To begin crying out in chorus that I'm exploiting their extremities Their ruined position for the purpose of inquiring land for under its value Of that I'm wary How readily folk speak evil exclaimed Chichikov Yes, and the amount of evil speaking in our province surpasses belief Never will you hear my name mentioned Without my being called also a miser And a usurer of the worst possible sort Whereas my accusers justify themselves in everything And say that though we have wasted our money We have started the demand for the higher amenities of life And therefore encouraged industry with our wastefulness A far better way of doing things Than that practised by Kosan Joklo Who lives like a pig Would I could live in your pigish fashion? Ejaculated Chichikov And so forth and so forth Yet what are the higher amenities of life? What could can they do to anyone? Even if a landowner of the day sets up a library He never looks at a single book in it But soon relapses into card playing The usual pursuit Yet folk call me names simply because I do not waste my means upon the giving of dinners One reason why I do not give such dinners Is that they wary me And another reason is that I am not used to them But come me to my house for the purpose of taking potluck And I shall be delighted to see you Also folk foolishly say that I lend money and interest Whereas the truth is that if you should come to me When you are really in need And should explain to me openly how you propose to employ my money And I should perceive that you are proposing to use that money wisely And that you are really likely to profit thereby Well, in that case, you would find me ready to lend you all that you might ask Without interest at all That is a thing which it is well to know Reflected Chichigawf Yes, repeated Kosan Joglo And in those circumstances I should never refuse you my assistance But I do object to throwing my money to the winds Pardon me for expressing myself so plainly To think of lending money to a man Who is merely devising a dinner for his mistress Or planning to furnish his house like a lunatic Or thinking of taking his paramour to a masked ball Or a jubilee in honour of someone who had better never have been born And spitting he came near to venting some expression Which would scarcely have been becoming in the presence of his wife Over his face the dark shadow of hypochondria had cast a cloud And throws had formed on his brow and temples And his every gesture bespoke the influence of a hot, nervous rancor But allow me once more to direct your attention To the subject of our recently interrupted conversation Persisted Chichigawf as he sipped a glass of excellent raspberry wine That is to say, supposing I were to acquire the property Which you have been good enough to bring to my notice How long would it take me to grow rich? That would depend on yourself, replied Kosan Joglo With grim abruptness and evident ill humour You might either grow rich quickly Or you might never grow rich at all If you made up your mind to grow rich Sooner or later you would find yourself a wealthy man Indeed, projected Chichigawf Yes, replied Kosan Joglo As sharply as though he were angry with Chichigawf You would merely need to be fond of work Otherwise you would affect nothing The main thing is to like looking after your property Believe me, you would never grow wary of doing so People would have it that life in the country is dull Whereas if I were to spend a single day as that is spent by some folk With their stupid clubs and their restaurants and their theatres I should die of envy The fools, the idiots, the generations of blind dullards For the landowner never finds their days worrisome It's not the time, in his life Not a moment remains unoccupied It is full to the brim And with it all goes an endless variety of occupations And what occupations? Occupations, which generally uplift the soul Seeing that the landowner walks with nature And the seasons of the year And takes part in and is intimate with everything Which is evolved by creation For let us look at the round of the year's labours Even before spring has arrived There will have begun a general watching and awaiting for it And a preparing for sowing And an apportioning of crops And a measuring of seed grain by buyers And drying of seed And the workers and the teams For everything needs to be examined beforehand And calculations must be made at the very start And as soon as ever the ice shall have melted And the rivers be flowing And the land have dried sufficiently to be workable The spate will begin its task in kitchen and flower garden And plough and harrow their tasks in the field Until everywhere there will be tilling and sowing and planting And do you understand what some of that labour will mean? It will mean that the harvest is being sown That the welfare of the world is being sown That the food of millions is being put into the earth And thereafter will come summer The season of reaping, endless reaping For suddenly the crops will have ripened And rice sheave will be lying heaped upon rice sheave With, elsewhere, stocks of barley And of oats and of wheat And everything will be teeming with life And not a moment will there need to be lost Seeing that, had you even twenty eyes You would have need for them all And after the harvest festivities There will be grain to be carved to bar Or stacked in ricks And stores to be prepared for the winter And storehouses and kilns and kettle sheds To be cleaned for the same purpose And the women to be assigned their tasks And the totals of everything to be calculated So that one may see the value of what has been done And lastly will come winter When in every threshing floor The fail will be working And the grain, when threshed Will need to be carried from barn to bin And the mills required to be seen to And the estate factories to be inspected And the workmen's huts to be visited For the purpose of ascertaining How the music is faring For, given a carpenter who is clever with his tools I, for one, am only too glad To spend an hour or two in his company So cheering to me his labour And if, in addition, one discerns the end To which everything is moving And the manner in which the things of earth Are everywhere multiplying and multiplying And bringing forth more and more fruit To one's profiting I cannot adequately express What takes place in a man's soul And that not because of the growth in his wealth Money is money and no more But because he will feel that everything Is the work of his own hands And that he has beaten the cause of everything And its creator And that from him, as from a magician There has flowed bounty and goodness for all And what other calling will you find Such delights and prospect? As he spoke, Cosangioglo raised his face And it became clear that the wrinkles had fled from it And that, like the tsar on the solemn day of his crowning Cosangioglo's whole form was diffusing light And his features had in them a gentle radiance In all the world, he repeated You will find no joys like these For herein man imitates the god Who protected creation as a supreme happiness And now demands of man that he too Should act as the creator of prosperity Yet there are folk who call such functions tedious Cosangioglo's melliflo's periods fell upon Chechikov's ear Like the notes of a bird of paradise From time to time he gulped And his softened eyes expressed the pleasure Which it gave him to listen Constantine, it is time to leave the table Said the lady of the house, rising from her seat Everyone followed her example And Chechikov once again acted as his hostess escode Although with less dexterity of deportment than before Owing to the fact that this time his thoughts were occupied With more essential matters of procedure In spite of what you say remarked Plato As he walked behind the pair I, for my part, find these things wearisome But the master of the house paid no attention to his remark For he was reflecting that his guest was no fool The man of serious thought and speech Who did not take things lightly And with the thought Cosangioglo grew lighter in soul As though he had warmed himself with his own words And were exulting in the fact that he had found someone capable Of listening to good advice When they had settled themselves in the cosy Kennel-lighted drawing room With its balcony and a glass door Opening out into the garden A door through which the stars could be seen Glittering amid the slumbering tops of the trees Chichigof felt more comfortable than he had done For many a day passed It was as though after a long journey His own roof-tree had received him once more Had received him when his quest had been accomplished When all that he wished for had been gained When his travelling staff had been laid aside with the words It is finished And of this seductive frame of mind The true souls had been the eloquent discourse Of his hospitable host For every man there exist certain things which Instantly that they are said Seem to touch him more closely More intimately than anything has done before Nor is it an uncommon occurrence That in the most unexpected fashion And in the most retired of retreats One will suddenly come face to face With a man whose burning periods Will lead one to forget oneself And the trecklessness of the route And the discomfort of one's nightly halting places And the futility of crazes And the falseness of tricks by which One human being deceives another And at once That will become engraven upon one's memory Vively and for all time The evening thus spent And of that evening Once remembrance will hold true Both as to who was present And where each such person sat And what he or she was wearing And what the walls and the stove And other trifling features of the room looked like In the same way did Chichikov note Each detail that evening Both the appointments of the agreeable But not luxuriously furnished room And the good human expression Which reigned on the face of the thoughtful host And the design of the curtains And the amber-mounted pipe Smoked by Plato And the way in which he kept puffing smoke Into the fat jowl of the dog Yarb And the sneeze which, on each such occasion Yarb vented And the laughter of the pleasant-faced hostess Though always followed by the words Pray do not tease him any more And the cheerful candlelight And the cricket chirping in a corner And the glass door And the spring night which Laying its elbows upon the treetops And spangled with stars And vocal with the nightingales Which were pouring forth warbled ditties From the recesses of the foliage Kept glancing through the door And regarding the company within How it elights me to hear your words Good Constantine Theodorovich Subchichikov Indeed, nowhere in Russia Have I met with a man of equal intellect Kostan Zochlo smiled By realising that the compliment Was scarcely deserved If you want a man of genuine intellect He said, I can tell you of one He's a man whose boot-souls Are worth more than my whole body Who may he be? Asked Chichikov in astonishment Muresov Our local commissioner of taxes Ah, I've heard of him before Remark Chichikov He's a man who, where he not The director of an estate Might well be a director of the empire And where the empire under my direction I should at once appoint him My minister of finance I've heard tales beyond belief Concerning him, for instance That he has acquired 10 million rubles 10? More than 40 Soon half Russia will be in his hands He don't say so, cried Chichikov In amazement Yes, certainly. The man who has only 100,000 rubles to work with Grows rich but slowly Whereas he who has millions at his disposal Can operate over a greater radius And so back whatsoever he undertakes With twice or thrice the money Which can be brought against him Consequently, his feel becomes so Spacious that he ends by having no rivals Yes, no one can compete with him And he's a man who's a man Yes, no one can compete with him And whatsoever price he may fix For a given commodity At that price it will have to remain Nor will any man be able to outbid it My God! metod Chichikov Crossing himself and staring at Costan Joglo with his breath Catching in his throat The mind cannot grasp it It petrifies one's thoughts with all You see folk marveling at what Science has achieved in the matter Destigating the habits of cow-bugs But to me it is a far more marvelous thing That in the hands of a single mortal That can become accumulated Such gigantic sums of money But may I ask whether the great fortune Of you to speak has been acquired Through honest means Yes, through means of the most Irapproachable kind Through the most honourable of methods Yet so improbable does it seem That I can scarcely believe it Thousands I could understand But millions On the contrary To make thousands honestly Is a far more difficult matter Than to make millions Millions are easily come by For a millionaire has no need To resort to crooked ways The way lies straight before him And he needs but to annex Whatsoever he comes across No rival will spring up to oppose him For no rival will be sufficiently strong I can operate over an extensive radius He can bring, as I've said Two or three rubles to bear upon Anyone else's one Consequently, what interest will he derive From a thousand rubles? Why, ten or twenty percent at the least? And it is beyond measure marvelous That the whole should have started From a single copic Had it started otherwise The thing could never have been done at all Such is the normal cause He who is born with thousands Is brought up to thousands Will never acquire a single copic more For he will have been set up With the amenities of life in advance And so never come to stand the need of anything It is necessary to begin from the beginning Rather than from the middle From a copic rather than from a ruble From the bottom rather than from the top For only thus will a man Get to know the man and conditions Among which his career will have to be carved That is to say Through encountering the rough and the tumble of life And through learning that every copic Has to be beaten out with a three-copic nail And through worsting nave after nave He will acquire such a degree Of perspicuity and wariness That he will earn nothing which he may tackle And never come to ruin Believe me, it is so The beginning and not the middle Is the right starting point No one who comes to me and says Give me a hundred thousand rubles And I will grow rich in no time Do I believe? It is not likely to meet with failure Rather than with the success of which he is so assured Just with a copic And with a copic only that a man must begin If that is so, I shall grow rich Such a chicoff involuntarily remembering The dead souls For of a surety I began with nothing Constantine, pray allow Paul Yvanovich to retire to rest Put in the lady of the house It is high time and I'm sure you've talked enough Yes, beyond the doubt You will grow rich, continued Cosangioglo, without heeding his wife For toward you there will run rivers And rivers of gold Until you will not know what to do With all your gains As those spellbound chicoff Set in an oriad world of ever-growing Dreams and fantasies All his thoughts were in a whirl And on a carpet of future wealth His tumultuous imagination Was weaving golden pathons While ever in his ears Were wringing the words Toward you there will run rivers And rivers of gold Really, Constantine, do allow Paul Yvanovich to go to bed What on earth is the matter Rytwer to the master of the household Testerly, pray go yourself If you wish to Then he stopped short For the snoring of Platon was filling the whole room And also, out rivaling it That of the dark Yarb This cost Costanzoclo To realise that bad time really had arrived Rifol, after he had shaken Platon out of his slumbers And bitten chicoff good night All dispersed to their several chambers And became plunged in sleep All, let us to say, except chicoff Whose thoughts remained wakeful And who kept wondering and wondering How best he could become the owner Not of a fictitious but of a real estate The conversation with his host Had made everything clear Had made the possibility of his acquiring riches manifest Had made the difficult art of his state management At once easy and understandable Until it would seem as though particularly Was his nature adapted for mastering the art in question All that he would need to do Would be to mortgage the dead souls And then to set up a genuine establishment Already he saw himself acting and administering As Costanzoclo had advised him Energetically And through personal oversight And undertaking nothing new Until the old had been thoroughly learned And viewing everything with his own eyes And making himself familiar With each member of his peasantry And abduring all superfluities And giving himself up to hard work and husbandry Yes, already could he taste the pleasure Which would be his when he had built up A complete industrial organisation And the springs of the industrial machine Were in vigorous working order And each had become able to reinforce the other Labour should be kept in active operation And even as in a mill Flower comes flowing from grain So should cash and yet more cash Come flowing from every atom of refuge and remnant And all the while he could see before him A landowner who was one of the leading men in Russia And for whom he had conceived such an unbounded respect Hitherto, only for rank or for opulence Had Chichikov respected a man Never for mere intellectual power But now he made a first exception In favour of Costanzoclo Seeing that he felt that nothing undertaken by his host Could possibly come to naught And another project Which was occupying Chichikov's mind Was the project of purchasing the estate Of a certain landowner named Khloef Already, Chichikov had at his disposal 1,000 rubles And a further 15,000 He would try and borrow of Costanzoclo Seeing that the letter had himself said That he was prepared to help anyone Who really desired to grow rich While, as for the remainder He would either raise the sum by mortgaging the estate Or force Khloef Bueff to wait for it Just to tell him to resort to the courts If such might be his pleasure Long did our hero ponder the scheme The slimba which had these four-hours Passed been holding the rest of the household In its embraces And folded also Chichikov And he sank into oblivion End of part two, chapter three