 Cause I always interrupt you You go on with your bad self Yeah, he like that, just interrupted you Oh, you did, but it was cool though, you said go on with your bad self Shit, no, what can I say? I feel myself today What's up, players? What is going on, guys? Today We're gonna talk about a little thing called guilt And in particular, the guilt associated With living a good life Going on vacation You know, disconnecting from your phone and social media And the guilt that we've kind of built up in society I feel like we haven't sat down here in like a week and a half I like this place better than that big white room I felt like I was in office space Yeah, wasn't that cool They need to work on the co-working space here I know I mean there's set up like offices I think I was expecting a co-working space to like You know, you walk in and there's like people playing video games And like everyone's worth There's no tables, it's just beanbag chairs Big bowls of peanut M&Ms Yes, obviously That's like, I think that's like one of my main things From living in Austin, the capital factory I know if I went there like they just had mad peanut M&Ms I was like, I think I'll stop by there today Dude, most startup culture though God, that's a topic in and of itself Like the reverting Companies reverting to like basically play Like you walk into like a Google office And it literally looks like an adult daycare You know, like I'm not saying it's a bad thing I think it's actually a good thing to be playing It's just interesting that we have that expectation Of the workplace now because I walk in Like I see a startup and I'm like All right, well, you know, you got to have like pool table Red Bull, beer on tap It's the only way you're producing it The best micro brews Yeah, totally And like you get vested in the company You get like percentages of the company Mad sock options Yeah, for real For show So, bro, what are we talking about today? We are talking about guilt today And how about I'll frame why we're talking about it Yeah, go ahead And then you hop in because I always interrupt you Yeah, go on with your bad self Hey, like that, I just interrupted you Oh, you did But it was cool though You said go on with your bad self You know what can I say? I'm feeling myself today This guy makes me laugh So guilt, guilt, what do I mean by guilt? Guilt, I'm just referring to in this case We want to talk about the guilt of living an awesome life And to further elaborate A lot of people have been A lot of people think We've been programmed so much that you have to be Grinding and working And if you're not, you know If you're not moving towards 10 different goals Then you're being stagnant And you're not, you know Living your life properly And you're missing out on things And you're just, you're just You're never like really getting there You're not enough And it creates this feeling of guilt And the example that we wanted to use Was this weekend We went on a impromptu Private island beach vacation And the guilt We want to talk about the guilt that came up That we were self-aware of Of like, oh man, I'm on this island You know, I like completely disconnected For a few days I'm starting to feel guilty about that And I think that's a super important topic That a lot of people deal with And it affects basically like Living the life you want But it also spills over into like, you know Your fitness, body, business relationship Stuff like that So I'm going to shut up now, Brandon Do you want to Yeah Dude, I actually didn't feel much guilt this weekend I think this is something you experienced a lot more Which is interesting Yes So I didn't I felt a tiny bit of guilt Three years ago I would have felt guilty and still like Done it There's a difference Even though like I would still feel guilty I still can't always be the person that's like Well, I don't care, I'm at the beach like Fucking, I'm just I'm just going to feel good about this This time I felt Like slightly guilty But it was a It was a Like I recognized it It wasn't an actual feeling that I let Like transcend that barrier to like Oh, I feel guilty I recognize like Man, I would have felt guilty In like, you know, past years You felt it kind of creeping up And you're like Yo, motherfucker, get out of here Yeah Well, dude, that's what this conversation is about He's creeping up behind me What does he look like? Oh, dude, he's like A big, globby guy going Oh, I'm guilt I'm guilt Hello, I'm guilt Or like Nah, he's like I'm guilt Like disgusting Like socks I fucking hate him He's such a dickhead Guilt's a dick Yeah, guilt's like fucking Brian Brian So you feel guilt, I think, for like two reasons Actually, maybe more But this is just what I'm going to say right now Because that's how I feel Tell me my problems I think you feel guilt because You better watch out I think you feel guilt because You either did something that's In misaligned with who you said you wanted to be So you're out of integrity with who You are Who you want to be Or you're comparing yourself To someone else Which is kind of the same thing You're still feeling misaligned Because you're saying that You want to be a version of yourself That is as good as another person But for simplicity's sake I feel like it's like You either like I sort of disagree with that Okay, well, I'd love to hear Well, I agree with that You're comparing yourself to something And the something is like A preconceived notion of what you should be doing But like I don't think of it I want to distinguish between like Comparing yourself to someone Like, oh, this person Or this group of people I don't think it's really that It's just the societal programming of guilt Like mine, for example The reason that it would creep up Is because Yeah, for sure I'm just saying like I think there's different types And like mine is derived From being in environments for You know Like more than 15 years Where like it was championed To be constantly working hard And be constantly busy And doing something And like So that guilt is not so much from Being like, oh man This person or this old friend is here And I'm not It's like The whole feeling of like Man, like it's Monday I'm supposed to be at work right now Like I'm on a beach Because it's definitely not out of integrity Because like my integrity is I want to be on a beach Yeah, but So it's a comparison though So Would you say that It's like You feel guilty because You're either out of line With who you said you wanted to be Or because you're Comparing yourself to someone Or something There's a comparison going on Like, because that's where the context Comes from, right Like being in an office Yeah, yeah, yeah No, I'm saying it's not from the integrity It's from the comparison But I'm just distinguishing between Comparing myself to someone And comparing yourself to a set of values That we've talked about before I'm really like That is My guilt is derived from Comparing myself to that That whole existence So it's not like one, two Or even a group of people It's like Like a way of life You know That I feel sometimes like That's what I used to think That's how I should be living So that creeps up in myself Yeah, for sure And it's so fucking silly It's retarded It's stupid You don't need to give in to it Well, because Like for example I told you like My buddy who's in the fitness space As well hit me up the other day And I was like, yo man Like having a hard time Finding like my groove here Where I can like make money And like Actually enjoy what I'm doing And I'm feeling guilty Because I feel like I'm not Making as much money as Maybe other people would If I'm trying to pursue My passion or my bliss Or stuff I care about That's a comparison Yeah, so that's like an example Of a comparison But it's so common I think it happens like In the corporate scene Like oh shit Like yo my boy That I went to college with Like he's the same age as me He's already like a level up Ahead of me And like You feel guilty That like you haven't achieved That yet For sure man But what about the guilt I totally agree with that But like what about I think there's many types of guilt But specifically Like since we I think we should talk about Like what we did this weekend And like I'm referring specifically To the guilt of like Everyone always talks about Like you work hard To go on vacations To have nice things To do what you want And then when you go on those Vacations The guilty feeling of Like I'm on vacation Man I quit my job And I'm taking six months off Like I'm lazy Like doing that guilt What's that programming That like Having funds like a bad thing Dude Oh my god I was up at that As a kid This is not calling out Because I like Love them dearly mom and dad I freaking love you guys Seriously I love you But I feel like much of growing up As a kid I was influenced by Like dude It was definitely said to me Before as a kid That like Like having fun all the time Is a ridiculous idea Like You are not Gonna be a contributing Member of society A good human If you're just If your goal is to have fun All the time Like we got issues Like you're not gonna turn out okay You know Dude there would be a lot of people Who I think would sit at this table with us And like Be like You Should Not be having fun all the time They'd be like That's not what That's not what life's about Like a lot of people Hargrain this because like They're conditioned by their past experiences To say like The way to make a living The way to live a good An all good honest life A good honest living Is by doing shit that sucks Like I have to grind And I told you We had a conversation last night We're like I realized that I In the past And said You know I'm grinding a lot And like Grinding is like Not fun Actually For me Grinding is not cool Which is why I hate Some of these motivational videos Like I was listening to H-Tracks last night And I put on these Like This motivational mix I was just curious What they had And They're so guilt driven They're like If you're not number one You need to step it up If you sleep Instead of doing the work You need to do If you're not where you want to be You need to start working harder And it's like It kind of perpetuates This guilt That's like Wait a minute Wait a minute You guys Are we doing this To live a happy life Or are we doing this To get some You know Blank result That really means nothing Like who the fuck Cares about that result I care about the feeling And I think that We get programmed To feel guilty That we're not getting a result Even if like We have found the feeling Yeah We don't know what the result Dude So true, man That's so true That's like That resonates a lot With me Because I think we're at the point now Like even to earlier I recognized the guilt this time But honestly like I don't feel bad anymore And that realization Was like Dude That's what Zen Dude Fitness is Like that's what you're helping To teach people You can't feel Guilty Like you're teaching people To live this life And because That's what we want to live You hit the nail Like right on the head, man So many people Like keep going And going and going And like They're so particular With like reaching their goals And they're so self-aware About where they are With their goals But they're not self-aware With like What happens When I hit this goal You know, like If I'm not Having the feeling That I want to have Like what's the point of this Any of it And that's like The self-awareness That I think is so important To always like Come back to like Alright Why am I doing this Like what feeling do I get From doing this You know Like and taking action And doing things that Create sustainable happiness And I think that's like What we're trying to To share with people Is like Every day we're always like How can we have the best Experience possible And yeah If you feel guilty Then like We wouldn't be aligned in that Hell yeah, man So That's like A hot moment To like really realize that It's It's about You having the best experience All the time If you're feeling guilty Like You can't do that So true, man What do we do this for Like I always come back To like the basics When we ask ourselves These questions of like Why You do anything I think it's important To ask yourself More and more and more Is what I'm doing Fulfilling me Yeah Because like If you're If you're going through Achieving all this And like Doing a lot of what you're Supposed to be doing But like never really Appreciating it You're just as bad As the person who's not Taking action at all And feels Shitty and depressed About not taking action You're just on the opposite End of the spectrum You know For sure, man I had something to say But I lost it No, it's cool I'm like really hyped Right now Because like Yeah, dude I think this is a super Important Like Yeah, because I saw myself Break through the barrier That's what I was trying to say Like I witnessed myself This weekend Have an experience Where like a thought Came through my head When we were in The water Like as the sun was setting And I was just like That little voice was like I don't know, man Like how do you feel right now Like do you feel good And I was like Fuck yeah I feel good Whereas before I might have been like Questioned that And been like Man, I do I remember When I was in high school My uncle Mike Invited me on No, no, no, I was in college I had an internship With this senator My uncle Mike said Do you want to come to Barbados? And I was like No, I have to like Go to this internship And it was such this big thing At the time And I remember being like I can't go to Barbados Like I have an internship That doesn't pay me Like it's super important Dude, I can't believe I ever did Unpaid internships I did some shitty Unpaid internships And I mean I think there's good ones out there But might work good Anyhow, tangent Yeah, yeah, dude What I love about what we do And what we try to teach Is like we're personifying What it means to live The ultimate life experience For us And that means like You can't feel guilt In the ultimate life experience Like you have to find ways To move through that And personify The feelings you want To feel every day And that means Like you Deprogram yourself from Feeling guilty And just do things That you feel aligned with So it doesn't happen And it's like It forces us to do that Yeah Which is like I think if I had just like If I was just like a personal trainer And I just like Went to a gym every day And like trained some people Like I wouldn't have to hold That kind of integrity But this is cool Because it forces us to be like That's very true, man And this isn't like an easy concept I think it's like It's much more It's much easier said than done Like this is like layers And the reason I was so psyched This weekend was cause like That was a big win for me Because there have been so many moments Where I've been deprogramming I'm deprogramming Deprogramming I can only say words If I sing them True fact I was deprogramming My brain like incrementally And I finally hit it Like that was proof That I hit a place Where I was like I don't feel I see the guilt But I don't feel it at all So that was like Yes Like this can be done And that's like The message I wanted to deliver to people Like the guilt that you feel When you're 15 minutes late for work Like do you really think Your company is gonna crumble Like think about Dude, oh my god Fucking traffic Like people When they're late for work Like it's the straight up Zombie apocalypse bro Like you see people On New York subways They're like I need to I am 8 minutes late And some other like ladies Like I am 15 minutes late Like there's like People lose it And it's like The guilt Over something that That it's like Is totally unnecessary And so like Little things like that Like you start with Like that Like I kind of started Deprogram myself If I was late Like it's okay Like I can still get My shit done And you kind of move on To like different things Like I told my friends I wasn't gonna go out And drink tonight And I don't feel bad for it I'm just gonna do my thing And like That person Cause they're negative And I told them That I don't want to go To dinner with them And I don't feel bad about it You know like It's little Like leveling up As you say That gets you to that point Of like I don't feel guilty About having a great life Yeah Just do what you want to do And don't feel bad about it Such a theme Comes up all the time Yeah all the time Just do what you want to do And don't feel bad about it And I would just ask Anyone watch this right now Like on a daily basis Do you do what you want to do? And if sometimes Like You're doing what you want to do Like do you feel bad about it? Cause you shouldn't Like It's what you want to do Just don't hurt anyone else As long as like You're doing what you want to do And it's not harming anyone Like Yeah Like we talk about Like You know Having integrity with who you want to be And like Making sure not hurting anyone Man There's like So many examples That we can bring this to You know Work Relationships Like Workouts Like So many people feel so guilty About skipping workouts Where it's like We always talk like Yeah You should work out consistently Or feel really guilty About like You know Eating something That I think they shouldn't But I feel like that guilt Leads them into this downward spiral That's like worse than Anything that they're ever Not doing or are doing For sure Well that's like The confidence thing Like you were talking about If you're doing something That you feel guilty about Then you shouldn't be doing it If you feel like No Like I'm cool with this Then you're fine Because if you're doing something Consistently And you're like This makes me feel like shit Then your confidence will Decrease Oh yeah So you can either choose Like Be Like live in integrity It's a combination It's like Live in integrity Of whatever Makes you feel good That doesn't harm other people You know what I mean So it's like It's such a simple concept That like I Realize on a lot of these Because we talk about A lot of the same topics And I was like Man we should think about Like And I'm like Dude I will be I'm glad I'm very Glad to like Be the dudes Who pound into people The power of being Present In every moment The dudes who like Pound into people The power of like Do What You Want Just do what you Want And this is My like Greatest wish I think this is like What I'm doing And for my own life as well I want to personify this Is I understand Like everyone has these Life experiences right Like mine like Goes like this And there's like All this stuff in my world Your girl's like that And there's all this stuff In your world You know Look at my life Look at my life All these beams And like Everyone has these beams But I feel like A lot of people's like Beams like Off in the future Like they don't really Know what they're trying To create And it's just like They're like Beam colors Very uncertain So I think a lot of people Maybe listen to these Conversations for the first Time They're like Oh Like it sounds like some Positive stuff I can kind of get on board With this It sounds good But I want people to Really take this framework And just Apply it Can you imagine having Like 7 plus Billion people All on a mission Like what we could Accomplish in this world Like everyone was like That'd be utopia Oh my god That's what it takes Like because we were To serve people Who can relate to us And that doesn't mean We need to go Start You know Volunteering at an orphanage Because like we're serving Our people here And like some people Might feel guilty Like oh like It's another kind of game It's another kind of game I should be like Helping out another way Or I should be donating More money It's like Yo If you are on your life Mission And you know who you are What you want to do And how to personify If you're doing that Every day You don't owe the world Your mission And like just Do that Like do that And there's gonna be So many people intersecting Like We're in this space We're like We're helping people Improve their health And like that's our mission But there might be Someone else Like they might be like I get this health thing But I don't really want to Talk about it But like I should probably Help people with this They don't need to feel Guilty about that Because maybe They're really driven to Like teach kids How to like Do poetry or something And I want everyone Doing their own I want everyone Just finding Yo man this guy's good And the neck goes Like on her And I'm like And it And it Yeah And so many people are lost Like I had a call The name of the A woman who She's just like You know what I've just kind of been Sputting along the last few years I feel like I need Some direction And some more stability And it's like I can give that to her But she has it within her already You can give it to her You can give it to her In the form of What we're saying now Tell her what she already knows Oh Let's like Get rid of some of that guilt And some of these like Pre-conceived notions Of how you're supposed to live How you're supposed to treat your body And let's ask you What you really want And just start doing that And they'll be like Oh Brandy you helped me so much I'm like You could have done that on your own But I'm happy to guide you If you need Someone to like I steer you onto the path Because it's like There's this path That everyone can go on If they choose to get on it Yeah man It's crazy how self-reliance Self-awareness, self-reliance All ties into like confidence And like how you experience guilt Because like The more self-reliant you are The less guilt you're going to experience So for example I was telling you last night I had a thought come up in my head Like man It's one in the morning And I'm still like awake Like I was up late Like we both Had a very productive day yesterday And even still When I was going to bed I was like I kind of want to watch a noisy documentary On Shirok Dude, Chicago Noisy documentary Shirok Awesome Super G I watched Billions last night Was that episode new episode good? I think they're all out I watched episode three Why watch Billions when you could watch Millions Anyway Self-reliance and self-confidence Like I was thinking to myself Man, I should really listen to like An audiobook or like Basically I found myself having the thought Of like I need something external To validate that everything I'm currently doing In my life and business is going well And I caught myself And I was like No dude You don't need a fucking audiobook Like watch the noisy documentary And like lay down and go to sleep Like you had a super productive day Stop feeling like you're not enough Like you kicked ass today And I went to bed like Fuck yeah Time to lay down Wake up tomorrow and do the same thing And I think Like we can You can read all the books You can listen to all the audiobooks Like you can constantly be in the state Of needing to Obtain more information But really the switch happens When you tell yourself When you don't call someone Like Brandon and I When you tell yourself like Okay There's no strategy You just decide to be cool Like even as we talk about confidence Like Derek Silver said this in one podcast I forget Tim Ferriss asked him like How do you Like your tips for becoming more confident Great response He's like You know it's one of those things man Like I got to a certain age And I just I decided You just decide Like you just have to decide And I was like No one ever says that Like no one ever Everyone wants to sell you their tips For not feeling guilty And improving blah blah blah But honestly it's like You just decide Yeah Like you don't switch the feeling Like sometimes I still feel the guilt I recognize the guilt But I've given myself permission to like What? I don't care Whatever I'm not going to let myself feel that Because That's a shitty feeling that I don't want to have Yeah It's not necessary For sure I mean dude I think it's just creating the identity It's like I'll always come back to that Like create your identity That you want to live in Because once you have that You're like Well my identity doesn't include me feeling Guilty for things that I want to do So yeah I don't have to feel guilty You know And guilt can be I think Maybe helpful at times If you are out of alignment With who you said you wanted to be Like if we just like didn't work For like a week If we didn't do anything for Zen dude And like we just ate donuts Like I would feel guilty But that's good Because like I want to be healthy And I want a successful business I want to help people So guilt can kind of guide you back For sure Just like be self aware Understand that like If the guilt isn't serving you to put you back In alignment with the highest you Then Yeah just let it go So true man That's all It's all self awareness All this shit is self awareness Because I totally agree with you Just like a level of anxiety is healthy Like I am sometimes like I do feel that I am as driven And as like termined as I am Because my anxiety is like You're not enough Like you have to keep going And a level of that isn't bad Just like a level of guilt Isn't bad Because if you don't give a shit at all Then you're like You know Then you're in some You're in trouble on the opposite end of the spectrum So I think like What it really comes down to again Is just like the more you know yourself The more confidence you'll have In the decisions you make And you'll have more confidence When you know like Okay I've had my fun And I didn't feel guilty Now it's time to rain it in So this weekend The thoughts that came up in my head Are like We have this business We have this coaching group Like We need to be In there like this You know that That good part of my anxiety And guilt that's like That's why like we hustle so much Because it's like We have to like Make everyone like Be super successful And lose weight And like love us So that's a good thing But that also is like When we told people That we were going away I was like Oh my god If we don't have internet I can't talk to the group And if I can't talk to the group Then everyone's gonna Like everything's gonna fall apart And like What a ridiculous thing to say Like all these people Who are in our group Shout out to the ZDF coaching community We love you guys Like they know what to do Like they're killing it in there Like they have their shit together And like it's the same as Most of the audience if you're You know In a nine to five working environment The guilt associated with for example Not checking your email That's what I kind of equated it to Like I couldn't check my email Or reply to posts as often as I wanted And like I remember In corporate America Like I was definitely cool With going Friday to Monday Without looking at email But like I knew what I didn't feel good about it Because I knew that people Knew that I didn't check my email So they're like Oh so like you just come in Monday through Friday then And I want to be like Yes Yes I do Don't even make me feel bad about it Like You have so much of my life already Like dude if you're answering Emails on Saturday Like I'll kill you You should be with your friends And like not E-mailing about E-mailing To set up a meeting about a meeting Yeah You know Oh man Yeah I think it gets celebrated though right Like being on your shit Yeah bro grinding Grinding Let's do an episode on grinding All I do is hustle and grind Hustle and grind Hustle and grind Hustle and grind Grinding is stupid Grinding is cool Having fun is cool Yeah dude What the fuck Like grinding has a negative connotation When someone says Grinding to me Yeah Like grinding is not something Unless like You know I got my girlfriend in front of me And I'm like Yeah girls Would you like to Grind with me But like grinding When I think of it as working Whenever someone's like Hey you want to come and grind I'm like Like for like Eight hours in like one place No I don't want to do that You know someone was like Hey man do you want to come have A fucking awesome time At this place I'd be like I'm offended that you asked me Like you should have just brought Do you want to go work on it Do you want to go make a movie together Yeah Yeah I want to do that I think the purpose of this conversation Is to get you to evaluate Your state of being constantly And ask yourself If you feel guilty is it warranted Or are you playing into the ideals Of someone else Or a story you created about your life That is no longer true And that's what we want for you We want you to decide Like hey Am I warranted in my guilt Am I have I not worked out For like two weeks Do I not count any of my calories And do I like Not feel satisfied With how I look right now Well then maybe you should feel guilty But if you feel guilty And it's something that's been Programmed into you And you become self-aware And you understand that you know what Like this is just me enjoying myself And it's incomplete All I'm going to do is who I want to be Then let that shit go Absolutely man I think the question You always have to ask yourself Strip away all the context Of what you know to be true Or what you should be doing If you are not enjoying Yourself And having a good time And you're not doing things that excite you Then That's what you need to be asking yourself That's when you need to make a change If you are doing things That are for someone else And you feel guilty because of that But it's not making you feel better Or benefiting your life Get rid of those things Continually break down That guilt Remember guys Last thing that I want to say We like It's so important Dude You're going to die Dude This is great news You And you And you And me We're going to die We are going to die Maybe Like now Or maybe an hour Or maybe in like 40 years Who knows But it's going to happen eventually So You should stop feeling guilty And just Live a good life Feel good Help people Hell yeah Yeah One final thing is that We're not saying Don't do things that Are uncomfortable Okay Because We want you This is all part of your identity That you built out Like if you say I want to have Six pack apps For example Like if you want that Cool That's what you want No one's going to Question you about What you want for your life If you want that though And You're like You know what Like I don't really want to Work out Well You've created in your blueprint In your mind The vision that you want to create And you're actually going to Feel better about yourself When you're embodying the Identity of actually Doing the things to get A six pack Okay Like exercise Like counting your calories Like Eating healthy foods Like all these things Are things you want to Actualize in your life And that's what leads To fulfillment So we're not seeing Don't do things that Are uncomfortable We're just saying Self-aware And make sure you're not Feeling guilty for Bullshit reasons Pew