 My name is Sam Vaknin and I'm a professor of psychology and the author of Balignan self-love narcissism revisited How do you like them apples? Today we are going to discuss typologies of narcissists various scholars Myself included if I may put myself in this august company have come up with classification systems of narcissists taxonomies of narcissists trying to capture the nuances and subtleties and Inescapable differences between individual narcissists and put them all into groups or drawers or compartmentalize them Narcissists are very evasive They're very difficult to capture. They're a little like goldfish. They are very attracting and alluring but try to catch one so Today we're going to discuss taxonomies classification systems Suggested by Theodore millen by Western by Sam Vaknin. That's me and by others But before we do that, I would like to make a general comment about Narcissists and narcissism Harvey Clackley Has no way of knowing this but I'm his biggest fan He has written an amazing masterpiece Unsurpassed and still 99% relevant after 70 years The Mask of Sanity was first published in 1942 1941 actually technically and he still every single page is still as valid as ever an amazing piece of work and He called it the Mask of Sanity Harvey Clackley Because he said that psychopaths appear to be sane. They appear to be normal They appear to be totally functional And yet when you study their biography when you study their personal history You discover utter unmitigated chaotic insanity. He said that they're much worse than psychotics Maybe they're not delusional. Maybe they have no hallucinations by them But they mismanage their lives and the endowments that they were given and so on in a way That only an insane person would do And of course Clackley at the time Focused on a non-representative sample Psychopaths who ended up in mental asylum. He used to work in mental asylum and So his sample is not representative and I call this type of psychopath the Clackley psychopath or the mischievous Psychopath there are the types of psychopaths and they are where they wear their Mask of Sanity much more Effectively they are much more self-efficacious So they reach the upper echelons of corporate the corporate world or politics of the church and so on and so forth And these are high-functioning Psychopaths, but they all wear a Mask of Sanity according to most scholars of the field and It raises the question Did everyone get it wrong? Of course, I would love to think so because it enhances my grandiosity. I think I got it right And here's my insight Sanity is a mask There is no issue of a mask of Sanity, but Sanity is nothing but a mask There are allusions allusions to this insight in the concept of persona Young Govman others Suggested that when we interact socially we put forth a persona a mask and That it is people are people interact with this persona not with the person himself So so that we are kind of present of Assad we put our best foot forward or Our worst foot forward and we we present a facade with which Everyone is interacting but both Govman who was essentially a sociologist and and young They limit the persona to social interactions They said that the persona is is something we trot out kind of a prop That we use in the theater production of our lives when we interact with other people and when we are alone We we don't have the persona when we are alone We have the self the constellated self according to Jung the self or the ego The combination the trilateral model the ego essentially according to Freud and so on so forth. I dispute this I don't think so. I think Whether we are alone or whether we are we are with other people Sanity is an act We are acting seen From a very early age. We are socialized. We are acculturated. We are educated We imitate role models primary objects parental figures caregivers like grandmother grandfather peers and gradually we assemble a kaleidoscope of behaviors and traits Which are socially acceptable not sanctioned by society and which yield beneficial outcomes, which are Self-effications which enhance agency And these set this constellation of behaviors and traits is what we call sanity. It's a mask Now that's a very important insight when it comes to narcissism as you will see a bit later and then there's the issue of hyper sanity hyper sanity was a concept suggested by the prolific Scottish psychiatrists controversial Scottish psychiatrists are delaying and he said that Sanity was a constrictive state Sanity was giving up on big parts of the world Sanity was the act of narrowing of limiting of ossifying of fossilizing of stagnating and he said to break through this Straight jacket in effect Pun intended to break through the straight jacket one needs to go crazy. He said that madness Was like a tunnel Leading from sanity to what he called hyper sanity hyper sanity is the equivalent of enlightened enlightenment or enlightened states in eastern mysticism. It's a Accessing accessing the essence of reality directly like in Zen Buddhism They said to go there you need to you need first to be crazy you need first to go insane And this is supported by Jung who technically between 1913 and 1918 after he broke up with his father figure Zygmunt Freud you went insane He developed psychosis full-fledged psychosis He was talking constantly with two imaginary figures Salome, which was a woman and Filamon, which was a kind of a hybrid of various animals and a human and he was talking to these two characters Openly talking. I mean like, you know, you're too conversely your friends and For five years. He was totally psychotic. Yunk. That's Yunk, CG Yunk, the Yunk And he said that he derived most of his insights from this from these these five years of psychosis of insanity So laying laying when he suggested the concept of hypersanity Maybe he was on to something and Again, remember this remember the issue of the mask when I say that all sanity is a mask that being sane is acting and Remember the concept of hypersanity. I'm gonna tie it up together when we come to narcissism and So you can ask the psychopaths the psychopath wears the mask of sanity effectively the psychopath Appears acts sane acts normal and Lures his victims exactly with this normality with this normalcy His victims are disarmed They don't feel hyper vigilant They don't feel suspicious or paranoid or frightened or wary because the psychopath appears to be run over me leverage your average guy You know, it's just someone nice to spend an evening with to go to bed with and casual sex, you know anything Why can't the narcissist do this? Why do narcissists fail? Fail to project sanity normality and normalcy now immediately I can see I can see the sea of comments and the raised hands. You're wrong narcissists do that They appear to be totally normal. That's how we the victims were deceived by narcissists because on the first encounter They appear to be totally normal and we discover the truth is only much later Well, I dispute this I say from the first minute you meet the narcissists, you know there's something wrong But because you're lonely because you're sad because you're broken because you're damaged because you've been conditioned before by prior abuse Because because you're borderline because you're codependent because you're dysregulated because you're labeled your problem because you have problems You deny and repress these signals from the narcissist a normal healthy person in The first minute with the narcissist feels that something is very wrong Fails as something is off key off tune the narcissist creates this ambient atmospheric cloud of an ease discomfort imminent ominous menaceous ambient threat or Like someone put together a human being but in the wrong order with the wrong parts or under the wrong specs The narcissist is a human being gun or eye Something something got screwed up in the production line or in the production process and you've a normal people healthy people People without defenses not not broken people not damaged people. They feel it. They pick up on it and This is called the uncanny valley. It's been documented since 1970 numerous times many studies and so So why does why doesn't the psychopath provoke this because the psychopath is the one Who can pull it off? By pretending to be sane and normal The psychopath pulls it off and he lures you he reels you in. How does he do that? How does the psychopath do that? Why is the narcissist fails? The reason is very simple the psychopath is himself He's always himself. There's nothing separating the psychopath from the psychopath So it's easy for him to just be himself and not not have to really act but Externalize or show or demonstrate the parts of himself, which I'm relatively sane The narcissist has a problem The narcissist has a problem to use the mask of sanity All sanity is a mask But we all wear it to varying degrees the narcissist can't wear the mask of sanity. Why? Why? Because the narcissist is already wearing another mask He cannot wear the mask of sanity because he is already wearing the mask of the false self Or what I called in other writings the Wunderkin mask The child genius mask He's wearing the mask of the false self. The false self is a mask and the false self substitutes for sanity When the narcissist had to make a choice between remaining sane and being exposed to Damaging hurtful painful excruciating abuse That's to remain sane or To give up on himself to sacrifice himself to vanish himself to eliminate himself and Instead to become a piece of fiction a co-caution a projection a mask So all narcissists Become musks It's not that the narcissist wears a mask the narcissist is a mask To wear the mask of sanity You need to exist. You need to be there. You need it safety. You need A separate existence from the mask the mask is an act, but how can you have an act without an actor? And so the narcissist is not there There's no actor and therefore there's no act Instead the narcissist has been replaced by the false self and Of course a mask cannot wear a mask if you want to If you want to learn deeply if you want to gain real insight into the world of the narcissist and the psychopath and mental illness and sanity and forget forget, you know psychiatrists forget psychologists forget YouTube Go to books read feudal to stairs The greatest chronicler of mental illness in his In his inimitable incomparable book the underground man The underground notes. I'm sorry the underground man the guy who writes with writing the notes He cries out. They won't let me I can't be good This encapsulates the inner experience of the narcissist He wants to be good, but they won't let a lot plastic defense read Dostoevsky Read even Goethe He he wrote a book called the Soros of young Virta when he was 24 years old and he wrote Goethe wrote That the book was a creation which I like the pelican fed with the blood of my own heart These were the greats. These were the greats of psychology Freud was the last of them. They were authors Psychology is a literary enterprise not a science Don't be impressed by the doctor title that precedes some of the self-styled online experts actors Psychology is not a science. It's a pretension to science by grandiose practitioners psychology is literature Psychology copes with raw material that cannot be captured in scientific experiments and by the scientific method. I have I Have a conversation with Richard Grandin about this Where I discuss why psychology can never can never in principle be a science go read literature Go back to your roots if you want to understand yourself in the world and your alleged sanity and what is insanity and That it can lead to breakthrough rather than breakdown if you handle it properly literature could be of great help so Apropos sanity and insanity today's topic is typology of narcissism narcissism is such a multifarious Multifaceted varied phenomenon involving individuals, of course each individual with his own background his own personal biography His own predilections his own biology, etc. It's inevitable that within narcissism as a global mental health category of diagnosis There will be variants variations There will be nuances and so on so forth and many scholars myself included tried to capture these differentials these Borderlines these differences between types of narcissists and I would like to start with with the greatest Theodome Lennon Theodome Lennon wrote a book which which any anyone who deals with personality disorder must own and this is the book personality disorders in Modern life first co-authored by Roger Davis the Milan wrote the bulk of it and What Milan does in this book is he goes personality disorder by personality disorder including personality disorders Which were excluded from the diagnostic and statistical manual mainly for political reasons may I add and He analyzes them and then he creates Typologies he breaks down the various manifestations and expressions of each personality disorder it's a riveting riveting read and Will once you finish this book you will never see the world with the same eyes and He I can't obviously I cannot read all of this to you He dedicates a chapter to narcissistic personality and on page 278 Of his book he proposes that there are four types of narcissists So I would just read to you briefly the the Types the first type is what he called the elitist the elitist narcissist. It's a pure variant according to him This kind of narcissists feels privileged and empowered by virtue of special childhood status and pseudo achievements pseudo fake achievements Entitled facade bears little relation to reality Sikhs favored and good life is upwardly mobile Cultivates special status and advantages by association the elitist Then there is the amorous the amorous narcissists is trionic features sexually seductive enticing beguiling tantalizing Gleebin clever Deesincline's real intimacy indulges hedonistic desires bewitches and invades the needy and naive pathological lying and swindling The third type of narcissists is what he calls unprincipled narcissists. That's the antisocial narcissists also known as malignant narcissists or psychopathic narcissists the unprincipled narcissists is Deficient conscious unscrupulous amoral disloyal fraudulent deceptive arrogant exploitive a con man and charlatan dominating contemptuous vindictive in short optimal best possible husband material the last type of narcissists is the compensatory Narcissist and I must say that in contemporary literature this book was was published like a Decade or two ago two decades ago in contemporary literature. There was a debate where whether there is such a thing It's compensatory narcissists for example Collectly himself in 19 in in the 1980s went against this He said it's there's no and then there are there are others. There's a book called in In ships clothing Where the author disputes the very existence of a compensatory Narcissist and he says that narcissists are not trying to cover up for any inferiority complex They they really feel that they are superior that they are elitist that they are the top that they are the cream that they I mean But I agree with Milan that there is a subtype of narcissists whose narcissism Is intended to compensate for what Adler called inferiority complex And so this is the compensatory narcissists and I have been on my on my website I have a whole frequently asked question About compensatory narcissism within the inverted narcissists page So compensatory narcissists is negativistic avoidant His avoidant features. He seeks to counteract or cancel cancel out Deep feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem He offsets deficits By creating illusions of being superior exceptional admirable noteworthy Self-worth results from self-enhancements and these are the four types that Milan suggests And now I would like to introduce you to another typology And that typology was was suggested by Professor drew drew western of emory university It's the only typology by the way to the best of my knowledge which relies on on research actual research Drew western interviewed 1201 therapists and psychologists in clinical practice practicing. He made a survey and He asked them to describe their experiences with narcissists and he asked them actually to classify As we came up with the conclusion that there are three three sub types of narcissists That's the high functioning or exhibition is narcissists used to be called phallic narcissists, by the way So the high functioning or exhibition is narcissists has an exaggerated sense of self-importance But he is also articulate and energetic outgoing and achievement oriented And in my work, it would be a bit like the cerebral narcissists Western so this is the first type of of Western then proceeds to the other two types the fragile narcissists wants to feel important and privileged To ward off painful feelings of inadequacy and loneliness And this is of course the equivalent of the compensatory and the shy and the inverted and the covert narcissists And the third type is grandiose or malignant as an exaggerated sense of self-importance feels privileged Exploits others and lasts after power and that would be the equivalent of the overt or the classic the classic narcissists and now Another typology, which I would like to introduce you to is one proposed by cooper and actar Cooper just passed away by the way last week I think he was 80 80 years old and he had a very productive career in psychology and he focused on narcissism Many important contributions in us in 1989. I'm sorry He teamed up with another very prominent scholar actar And they created the diagnosis of covert narcissists. Yes covert narcissists all these videos online Which purport allegedly tell you about covert narcissists If you if you listen now to what cooper and actar had to say when they invented the diagnosis You will discover that regrettably most of the material online is sheer trash And i'm being generous and charitable So here's what cooper and actar have to say and they are the only authority on this subject Listen to no one else So cooper and actar have this to say They say that there are two types of narcissists arrogant or overt narcissists and shy or covert narcissists And they say that arrogant or overt narcissists has As a self-concept grandiosity preoccupation with fantasies of outstanding success undue sense of uniqueness feelings of empowerment and seeming self-sufficiency Compare it compare this to the self-concept of the shy fragile vulnerable or covert narcissists The covert narcissists has inferiority Morose self-dance Marked propensity toward feeling ashamed Fragility relentless search for glory and power Marked sensitivity to criticism and realistic setbacks What about interpersonal relationships according to cooper and actar The overt the classic arrogant narcissists has numerous but shallow relationships Intense need for tribute from others Scorn for other people Often masked by pseudo humility false modesty A lack of empathy inability to genuinely participate in group activities Valuing of children over spouse in family life What about the covert narcissists? He has inability to genuinely depend on others and trust them Chronic envy of other people of their talents of their possessions of their capacity for deep object relations capacity to love The covert narcissists has a lack of regard for generational boundaries Disregard for others time refusal to communicate Social adaptation the arrogant overt or classic narcissists is socially charming like me Often successful Consistent hard work done mainly to seek admiration and this is called pseudo sublimation in clinical terms So he when he works hard, it's mainly for admiration not for the work itself He's not really interested in what he's doing. He's interested in the reaction to what he's doing Intense ambition and preoccupation with appearances What about the shy and covert narcissists? He has nagging aimlessness shallow vocational commitment dilettant like attitude multiple but superficial interests chronic boredom like the psychopath A static taste often ill-informed and imitative What about ethics standards and ideals in the context of narcissism? It would appear to be a bizarre question, but still according to cooper and octar The arrogant or the classic narcissists has caricatured modesty Pretended contempt for money in real life Ideosyncratically and unevenly moral Apparent enthusiasm for socio-political affairs. That's the classic narcissism. What about the covert? The covert has a readiness to shift values to gain favor pathological line materialistic lifestyle delinquent tendencies in ordinate ethnic and moral relativism and irreverence towards authority What we call consumatiousness What about love and sexuality according to cooper and octar? Arrogant or overt narcissists has Marital instability called and greedy seductiveness Extramarital affairs and promiscuity and uninhibited sexual life That would be by the way the somatic What about the covert? The covert narcissist has inability to remain in love Impaired capacity for viewing the romantic partner as a separate individual with his or her own interests rights and values inability to genuinely cooperate comprehend the incest taboo and occasional sexual perversions What about the cognitive style? The classic narcissist is impressively knowledgeable Decisive and opinionated Often strikingly articulate I find myself in this egocentric perception of reality Love of language fondness for shortcuts to acquisition of knowledge And the shy or covert narcissists His knowledge is often limited to trivia headline intelligence He is forgetful of details, especially names Impaired in the capacity for learning new skills as a tendency to change meanings of reality when facing a threat to self-esteem Language and speaking are used for regulating Self-esteem that's it You've got it from the horse's mouth. That's the only things you need to know about covert narcissists All the rest is anecdotes nonsense disgruntled spouses and and so on so forth Do not be impressed by academic degrees if the Doctor or professor didn't dedicate his life to studying narcissism. He or she doesn't know what they're talking about Do not be impressed so In 1996 I proposed a variant and yet another nuance of covert narcissists And I called it the inverted narcissists The inverted narcissists is a codependent But she depends exclusively on narcissists and today these people are called narcissists codependent or core narcissists codependent or core narcissists So the inverted narcissists is a codependent who depends exclusively on narcissists If you're living with a narcissist, if you have a relationship with a narcissist, if you're married to a narcissist If you're working with a narcissist, this does not mean that you are an inverted narcissist Even if you love the narcissist you pitied a narcissist. Still it doesn't make you an inverted narcissist to qualify as an inverted narcissist You must crave to be in a relationship with a narcissist Regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him or her Craving You know, any alcoholic will tell you what is craving for alcohol The this urge uncontrollable urge You know it's bad for you, but you can't help it and you you want more and more and more An alcoholic starts with a single shot, but then can't stop it and you know, he ends up with 20 You must to be to qualify as an inverted narcissist You must actively seek relationships with narcissists and only with narcissists No matter what your bitter and traumatic past experience with narcissists has been And you must feel empty and unhappy in relationships with any other kind of person Only the narcissist fulfills you only he gives light and color to your life Only then and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of dependent personality disorder Only then you can safely be labeled an inverted narcissist and now There's a misunderstanding about the inverted narcissists and I've been attacked And criticized numerous times people said you are wrong Inverted narcissists are not covert narcissists. Well, first of all, inverted narcissists are covert narcissists All inverted narcissists are covert narcissists, but of course Not all covert narcissists are inverted narcissists All inverted narcissists are covert They're shy of fragile narcissists They are the all of them They have all the the the attributes of covert narcissists They are self-centered sensitive vulnerable defensive hostile and paranoid They harbor grandiose fantasies and they have a strong sense of entitlement They tend to exploit others albeit stealthily and subtly Covert narcissists are aware of their innate limitations and shortcomings and therefore constantly fret And constantly stress about their inability to fulfill their unrealistic dreams and expectations in this sense All covert narcissists are collapsed narcissists Collapsed narcissists because they think they deserve much better. They think they deserve much more They think they are of superior quality. They think they should be recognized Celebrated and yet nothing happens in their lives. They are utter losers and failures And this grandiosity gap What I call grandiosity gap destroys them They can't they can't sleep at night They and and and realizing this Realizing that every time they try to garner narcissistic supply. They are frustrated. They're humiliated. They're hurt They end up avoiding recognition competition and the limelight Covert narcissists avoid attention. They don't want to be the center of attention in the life of a party They are terrified of it. They are therefore technically socially shy or socially anxious They are they are afraid of being exposed as frauds or failures. They are ostentatiously modest What what uh cooper calls pseudo humility and so Um Sudo humility is typical of the classic narcissists, but with the covert narcissists. It's it's um The pain aversion it's a result of pain aversion and therefore it's an avoidant behavior Covert narcissists often feel guilty over and ashamed of their socially impermissible aggressive urges and aggressive desires Consequently, they're shy and unassertive and intensely self-critical perfectionist This inner conflict between an overwhelming sense of worthlessness worthlessness And a grandiose false sense Results in mood and anxiety disorders If you at the same time think of yourself as worthless as a failure as a loser and As an unrecognized genius and the talk of the the culmination of human evolution If you harbor these two cognitions simultaneously, what do we call this cognitive dissonance? So the the covert narcissists is a constant state of cognitive dissonance, which he cannot resolve And of course when you cannot resolve a dissonance, what do you have coffee? Sorry mood disorders anxiety disorder inverted narcissists team up with classic narcissists But in secret They resent the classic narcissists. They envy the classic narcissists. They even hate the classic narcissists Because the classic narcissists is everything the covert narcissists would have liked to be to have been but is not Classic narcissists is the covert narcissists were dream, which will never come true And contrary to misinformation spread by experts online Covert narcissists self-styled experts online covert narcissists are not cunning. They are not manipulative Classic narcissists are cunning and manipulative. They often disguise their true nature effectively knowingly intentionally Psychopaths are cunning of course much more effective than classic narcissists much more self-effications All narcissists classic and covert are persistent actors with great great thespian skills But the covert narcissists is the exception The covert narcissists suppresses his true nature because he or she lacks the confidence to assert his true nature He feels that is some kind of damage goods defective A fraud an imposter So there's an imposter syndrome here You know, if I just stay away if I just don't reveal myself Everything will be okay, but people get too close to me if they find out who I am It's a disaster And the covert narcissists Choice is not premeditated. It's not cunning. It's not like manipulative manipulative The covert narcissists cannot help How he is he shies away Because he's not happy with himself. He's what we call egocintonic the classic narcissists Except the compensatory type all the others are egocintonic. They're very happy with who they are They are emotionally invested. They are protected in their disorder. They're proud of their narcissism And yes, they are mostly self-aware get rid of another stupid myth online Most narcissists are self-aware, but they are proud of who they are The compensatory narcissist Is also proud of who he is but he's compensating for an inferiority complex and the covert narcissists is someone who fails to do even this He has an inferiority complex, but he cannot even be a narcissist to compensate for he's such a failure such an all-pervasive ubiquitous Failure without exception that he cannot even be a narcissist He even fails to be a narcissist. The only thing the covert narcissist is really really good at is failing is an expert at failing The covert narcissist is his own worst critic Lydia Rangelowska suggests that covert narcissism may develop late in life during adolescence or even early adulthood As a reaction to abuse by peers To social rejection and to the failure of primary narcissism It's an interesting thought We don't have any studies or data. By the way, we have a dearth. We have almost nothing about Covert narcissists even the diagnosis itself is not recognized very similar to let's say shy borderline These are speculative diagnosis and anyone who pretends To know anything about covert narcissism to have the key and the answers. They're lying to you And I were using the word lying judiciously It's manipulation. They're playing with your mind Inverted narcissism may be the outcome of arrested narcissistic development The formation of the false self is disrupted and incomplete and the inverted narcissist is forced to resort to and depend upon The false self of another narcissist her partner in order to regulate her sense of self-worth Okay, so these are the These these are typo typologies suggested by others and now Another typology is the cerebral and somatic typology which I was Which I suggested in 1995 And today is widely used Patients with narcissistic personality disorder are either cerebral or they're somatic cerebral narcissists derive their narcissistic supply From their intelligence intellect academic achievements. So what they do they show off They show off how intelligent they are how amazing the pyrotechnics of their intellect And or their academic achievements and that way they get supply from the environment And then there's a somatic narcissistic system. They derive their narcissistic supply From their physique from the body exercise physical sexual prowess Romantic or physical contact conquest and so on. So the somatic emphasis is body. These are all the the in cells migtails And others in the manosphere the intellectually challenged self-styled evolutionary Psychologists in the manosphere who think that if they develop muscles, they're going to get the girl So they're somatic actually. They're somatic narcissists and and They and by the way I I suggested That actually the majority of self-styled empaths are covert narcissists So narcissists infiltrated this fear online You have narcissists as moderators narcissists or self-styled experts victims who are actually narcissists empaths are covert narcissists The manosphere is comprised mostly of somatic narcissists. Somatic narcissists derive narcissistic supply from displaying or using their bodies Because they don't have much here or even if they have much here. They dedicated much more to here The cerebral narcissists has a lot here and very little else Regrettably from personal experience. So he has to show off his mind his brain His amazing intellect and hope for the best, you know Because in today's world the intellect and the mind and the brain are Depreciated they are not very appreciated. It's not much of a draw and not much of a pickup line And of course patients with personality this narcissistic personality disorder are either classic They meet five of the nine diagnostic criteria included in the DSM Or they are compensatory their narcissism compensates for deep-set feelings of inferiority and lack of self-worth And so we mentioned the compensatory narcissists before as one of the one of the four types Four types proposed by millen And I would like to expand a bit about With regards to the compensatory narcissists because there's very little online about it There was a guy I'm not sure he's still online. His name was Dave Kelly And he had an excellent website called ptypes.com And he suggested a distinction Dave Kelly suggested a distinction between compensatory type npd and classic npd based on millen And he composed a series of compensatory npd criteria Um, and I'm I'm simply going to read what he had written, but his sources were He based himself on the work of max foreman Theodore millen Annie Reich Don don Richard Rizzo And and others So i'm going to read to you two sets of diagnostic criteria for compensatory narcissistic personality Set number one of diagnostic proposed diagnostic criteria Six to create an illusion of superiority and to build up an image of high self-worth. That's millen Stries for recognition and prestige to compensate for the lack of a feeling of self-worth May acquire a Deprecatory or self-deprecatory attitude in which the achievements of others are ridiculed and degraded. That's again millen Has persistent aspirations for glory and status millen Actually, most of these are millen, but okay has a tendency to exaggerate and boast millen Is sensitive to how others react to him watches and listens carefully for critical judgment and feels slighted by disapproval hyper vigilant millen Is prone to feel ashamed and humiliated and especially anxious and vulnerable to the judgment of others millen Covers up a sense of inadequacy and deficiency with pseudo arrogance and pseudo grandiosity millen Has a tendency to be a periodic hypochondria hypochondriasis foreman Alternates between feelings of emptiness and deadness and states of excitement and excess energy foreman Entertains fantasies of greatness constantly striving for perfection genius or stardom foreman It has a history of searching for an idealized partner and has an intense need for affirmation and confirmation in relationships foreman Frequently entertains a wishful exaggerated and unrealistic concept of himself, which he can't possibly measure up to right Produces too quickly work not up to the level of his abilities because of an overwhelmingly strong need for the immediate gratification of success right Is touching quick to take offense at the slightest provocation continually Anticipating attack and danger Reacting with anger and fantasies of revenge, which he feels himself When he feels himself frustrated in his need for constant admiration Hi, let me read this again. I botched it up. Is touching quick to take offense at the slightest provocation Continually anticipating attack and danger Reacting with anger and fantasies of revenge when he feels himself frustrated In his need for constant admiration. I got it right this time. Thank you, right Is self-conscious due to a dependence on approval from others. Hi Suffers regularly from repetitive oscillations of self-esteem. Hi Six to undo feelings of inadequacy by forcing everyone's attention and admiration upon himself Right and finally may react with self-contempt and depression to the lack of fulfillment of his grandiose expectations reason And so you see The very close affinity Between the compensatory narcissists and the covert narcissists covert narcissists and compensatory are very very I mean, they're so close that they might as well be twins and There is another There is another variant Of these diagnostic criteria and i'm reading it to you A pervasive pattern of self-inflation pseudo confidence Exhibitionism and strivings for prestige that compensates The compensatory narcissists. Yes compensates for feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem as indicated by the following Pseudo confidence compensating for an underlying condition of insecurity and feelings of helplessness pretentiousness self-inflation Exhibitionism in the pursuit of attention recognition and glory Strivings for prestige to enhance self-esteem Deceitfulness and manipulativeness the service of maintaining feelings of superiority idealization in relationships fragmentation of the self feelings of emptiness deadness A proud hubristic disposition hypochondriasis substance abuse self-destructiveness and This is another possible set for compensatory loss. Finally, I would like to discuss the narcissistic personality type As distinct from the disorder and as distinct from the style and as distinct from the type The narcissistic personality type Reacts to criticism with feelings of rage shame or humiliation Is interpersonally exploitive takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends Is a grandiose sense of self-importance Believes that his problems are unique and can be understood only by other special people Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success power brilliance beauty and ideal love As a sense of entitlement an unreasonable expectation of especially favorable treatment Requires much attention and admiration of others Lack sympathy fails to recognize and experience how others feel and is preoccupied with feelings of envy this was The text in the diagnostic and statistical manual third edition text revision And it carried over to the dsm 4 4 text revision and dsm 5 in 2013 and now I would like to read to you the diagnostic criteria attempted diagnostic criteria for the inverted narcissists and then we will talk about the Cerebral and somatic and we will wrap it up So I suggest nine diagnostic criteria for the inverted narcissists Criterion one possesses a rigid rigid sense of lack of self-worth Criterion two preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success power brilliance and beauty or of an ideal love three Believes that she is absolutely ununique and unspecial not unique and not special in other words worthless And not worthy of merger with a fantasized ideal or ego idea And that no one at all could understand her because she's inane innately unworthy of being understood The inverted narcissists becomes very agitated And the more one tries to understand her the more you try to understand her the more angry she gets the more aggressive She gets because that also offends against her righteous sense of being properly excluded from the human race criteria in four Demands anonymity in the sense of seeking to remain excluded at all costs And is intensely irritated and uncomfortable with any attention being paid to and in this sense She is very similar to the schizoid personality. So number five Feels that she is undeserving and not entitled number six is extinguishingly selfless sacrificial even unctuous In her interpersonal relationships a bit smarmy a bit creepy And avoids the assistance of others at all costs But she does all this ostentatiously Like watch me watch myself sacrifice Can only interact with others when she can be seen Can be seen to be giving supportive and expending an unusual effort to assist These are the professional altruists criteria in seven lax empathy It lacks empathy no empathy is intensely attuned to others needs But only insofar as it relates to her own need to perform the required self-sacrifice Which in turn is necessary in order for the inverted narcissists to obtain her narcissistic supply from the primary narcissists So she has called empathy exactly like the classic narcissism And she scans her narcissists You know her source of supply She the inverted narcissists teams up with the classic narcissists the classic narcissists becomes her source of supply His achievements are her achievements. His accomplishments her accomplishments his glory her glory Reflected glory like the moon and the sun or like in the 19th century If a woman was where was if a woman were married to a medical doctor Everyone would call her frau doctor Even if she had never attended school and couldn't write her name She was still she was still frau doctor because she was married to a doctor That's the inverted narcissists and to bind To bind the classic narcissism to herself To condition him to make him addicted to her she Self-sacrificially Serves his needs. She gives everything of herself to him Unconditionally self-sacrificially Denies her own needs her own essence for him Disappears in him fuses and merges with him very very similar like the codependent that she is So she's a codependent narcissist a combination very bad combination and And this gets him addicted to her and guarantees then uninterrupted flow of narcissistic supply Criterion eight Envy's others cannot conceive of being envied and becomes Cannot conceive of being envied cannot conceive that others would envy her She becomes extremely agitated and uncomfortable if even brought into a situation where comparison might occur Loathes hates competition avoids competition at all costs If there is any chance of actually winning the competition or being singled out. She runs a mile Criterion nine displays extreme shyness Lack of any real relational connections Is publicly self-effacing in the extreme is internally highly moralistic and critical of others sadistic even Is a perfectionist engages in lengthy ritualistic obsessive compulsive behaviors Which can never be perfectly performed So she she has very powerful obsessive compulsive elements though not necessarily to the full extent Exhibited in obsessive compulsive personality disorders The notion of being an individual or individualistic is an anathema Anathema to her and there's a lot more on my website With regards to to inverted narcissists. So the last two Types that I would like to to discuss Are the somatic versus the cerebral narcissists Broadly speaking, there are two types of narcissists loosely corresponding to the two categories that I mentioned cerebral and somatic The cerebral narcissist reduces people to functions and the somatic narcissist Regards people and treats people as objects functions and objects The somatic narcissist derives narcissistic supply from others other people's reactions to his body Sexual conquest bodybuilding Muscle bump usefulness athletic prowess Competence in outdoor activities or mere printing and titivating The cerebral cerebral narcissists flaunts his intellect his intelligence his brain his mind his knowledge To signal his academic accomplishments in order to secure attention and adulation Whether one becomes a somatic narcissists or a cerebral narcissists Depends on one's upbringing as a child and of course on one's endowments for an idiot. It's hard to become cerebral If the infant is taught That it can secure the parents love only by being intellectually brilliant The child becomes a cerebral narcissist If the child is conditioned to excel in sports or outdoor activities Baseball, I don't know and to compete for sexual conquest as a prerequisite for being loved the child becomes somatic Narcissist Misogynist, I don't need to Woman haters they hold women in contempt. They love women. They fear women They seek to torment women and taunt them and frustrate them either by dispoiling or debasing them sexually or by withholding sex altogether Narcissist harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act itself. They're ambivalent the somatic narcissist Uses sex to conquer and secure new sources of narcissistic supply Consequently, the somatic rarely gets emotionally involved with his targets. He's His sex is a mechanical act devoid of intimacy devoid of commitment The cerebral narcissist feels that sex is demeaning degrading best best show animals have sex Acting on one's sex drive is primitive basic common impulse and There's nowhere on earth More dreaded by the narcissist more nightmarish than common Narcissist can be anything but common or average. No way The cerebral narcissist convinces himself that he's above sex Endowed as he is with superior intelligent and superhuman self-control but Sex for both types of narcissists is an instrument designed to increase the numbers the the number of sources of Narcissistic supply If it happens to be the most efficient weapon in the narcissist arsenal at any given period He makes profligate use of it even the cerebral narcissist Goes after sex if he has no other options In other words, if the narcissist cannot obtain adoration admiration adulation approval applause or any kind of attention By any other means intellectually he resorts to sex. So there's no type constancy Cerebrals can become somatic It's more difficult for somatic to become cerebral Um, the cerebral can become a satir an infomania indiscriminately engages promiscuously in sex with multiple partners his sex partners are considered by By the narcissists to be objects sources of supply It is through the processes of successful seduction and sexual conquest that the narcissist derives is badly needed narcissistic fix And the narcissist is likely to perfect his techniques of courting regard his sexual exploits as a form of art The art of charm the art of you know pickup artists The narcissist usually exposes this side of himself to others to an audience expecting to win their approval and admiration because the narcissistic supply in this in his case is in the very act of conquest and What he perceives to be subjugation or subordination the narcissist Is forced to hope from one partner to another because it's not the partner that interests him It's the acquisition Some narcissists prefer complicated situations others not and and so on and so forth So these are the these are the um The sexual and the and the Sorry, the cerebral versus the soma there's also changes sexual narcissists by the way the cerebral versus the somatic narcissists and And to just to summarize this part for you narcissists are either cerebral or somatic They either generate the supply by applying the bodies or by applying the minds The somatic narcissists flaunt his sexual conquest parades his possessions Exhibits his muscles breaks about his physical aesthetics youthfulness sexual parades Sexual exploits is a health freak and hypochondriac and like most men somatic narcissists are plagued with sexual over-perception bias But in a more pronounced way than oh They tend to interpret every female behavior Every female utterance every gesture is an unambiguous invitation to have sex with her The somatic narcissists regard this body as an object to be sculpted to be honed via extreme diets Multiple cosmetic surgeries bodybuilding weightlifting martial arts, whatever When coupled with psychopathic tendencies the somatic appropriates other people's bodies And treats these bodies as raw materials to be I don't know dismembered tempered with altered invaded abuse despoiled Somatic narcissists are often portrayed as sex addicts or as histrionic They are thought to possess manic defenses avoidance of feelings of discomfort Loneliness and inadequacy by seeking states of hyperactivity arousal and excitement They are also prone to cognitive biases such as sexual over-perception that I mentioned before Misinterpreting even innocuous female behaviors is indications of sexual interest and flutation And it's a mild form of erotomania But really somatic narcissists derive the narcissistic supply not so much from the sex act as from the process of securing the sex The conspiracies and assignations the chase and the conquest the subjugation and the habituation of the targets Dumping the targets discarding the prey Having extracted the attention and admiration all these this is what this is what excites the The somatic these extracurricular activities endow the somatic narcissists with a sense of omnipotence all pervasive control And the not somatic narcissists sway over their paramourism would be lovers Proves to them their uniqueness their desirability their irresistibility And somatic narcissists also seek almost compulsively to induce their partners to climax So orgasms the frequency of the orgasm the duration of the climax the intensity of the orgasm they all measure a measure of virility masculinity success a form of narcissistic supply Somatic narcissists is likely to discuss with you. How was your orgasm? Was it strong enough? Did anyone give you a better orgasm in your entire life? Compared to the somatic narcissists the cerebral narcissists know it all haughty intelligent computer-like He uses his awesome intellect or knowledge Real knowledge pretended knowledge to secure adoration adulation admiration To the cerebral narcissists the body and the maintenance of the body Aburdance distractions. He hates his body Both types are auto erotic. No misunderstanding Both types somatic and narcissists Are psychosexually in love with themselves with their bodies and their brains Both types prefer masturbation And pornography to adult mature interactive multidimensional multifaceted emotion latent sex They feel threatened by real sex with a real partner The cerebral narcissists is often celibate Even when he has a girlfriend even when he has a spouse. It's a sexless relationship He prefers pornography and sexual auto stimulation to the real thing Cerebral narcissists is sometimes a latent hidden not outed homosexual but not always bisexual maybe The somatic narcissist uses other people's bodies to masturbate with on and in Sex with the somatic narcissists is all about pyrotechnics and acrobatics It's like having sex with the circus It's likely to be impersonal and emotionally alienating and draining. The partner is often treated as an object An extension of the somatic narcissists a toy a warm pulsating vibrator But it is a mistake to assume type consistency As I said before all narcissists are both cerebral and somatic in each narcissist one of the types is dominant So the narcissist is either overwhelmingly cerebral or dominantly somatic But the other type the recessive type the one the type that is manifested less frequently is always there It's lurking. It's waiting to erupt and the narcissist swings Between his dominant type and his recessive type The recessive type is expressed mainly as a result of a major narcissistic injury narcissistic modification or a life crisis Cerebral narcissism is also a form of passive aggressive behavior intended to punish and frustrate the narcissist intimate partner for her transgressions or mere incompatibility with the narcissist Narcissist withholds sex withholds intimacy as a relationship management tool Okay, this was the zoo of narcissism and narcissists And as you can see Narcissism is not a uniform homogeneous monotone phenomenon It's as multivariate as multifaceted as multifarious and as technicolor as it's various the various individuals which comprise the population Of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder generalizing is very misleading sometimes dangerously misleading We still have some common elements common strengths common threats Bear in mind the the true modern study of narcissism Started only 20 years ago When I appeared on the scene in 1995 There was some literature from the beginning of the 20th century some literature from the 1970s. That was the end of it That's it. There was nothing Between 1995 in 2004. I was alone all alone And then from 2004 I would say that there was a resurgence of studies of narcissism and today, of course, I mean this there's A lot of literature academic literature means colon literature about various manifestations and variants of narcissism so The field is vibrant possibly Possibly the hottest niche or field in psychology today. I'm very happy for that that it became mainstream In in I see narcissism mentioned in films and political analysis and So it's an organizing principle. Narcissism is a principle that explains a modern life It's it has filled strong philosophical foundations and To reduce narcissism to to lists to a list Or to reduce narcissism to grievances by victims Or to reduce narcissism to demonic possession or to reduce narcissism to quench parties To grievance parties online or to reduce narcissism to profanity and Profanities and and foul language Or to reduce narcissism to confuse it and conflate it completely without the diagnosis and of course To spread misinformation as the vast majority of self-styled experts are doing is a crime I understand why all the major scholars of narcissism avoid YouTube as the plague Because they are very unlikely to be understood And when giants of the field If they were to open their own youtube channel, they would have been inevitably compared To self-styled experts who don't know who heard of narcissism the first time When they have made their first youtube video Many many Of the people online who claim to be experts including people with academic degrees never heard of narcissism Ever before they have made their first youtube video And yet they claim to be experts why there's money in it a lot of money And believe me I have proof of everything i'm saying so Be careful there be wary the real expertise Is in academic literature you can find all the relevant academic literature by going to Scholar.google.com Scholar.google.com And typing narcissism That's all you need to do Try try to be discriminating when you're on youtube YouTube Wikipedia these popular platforms, they're infested Infested and infected Who contaminated and 95 percent of the time utterly wrong Be willing