 This is Think Tech Hawaii. Community matters here. Welcome to Seamor's World on Think Tech Hawaii. Well, here we are. It's been a month since I've seen you last, and I thank you for all your emails and your texts and phone calls. I am fine. We just happened to go to Africa for a couple of weeks and visited some animals and felt very, very tuned in to what it's like to be without cars, without big buildings, without all that noise. And I'll show you some pictures at the end of the show that I think you'll like. Today's show is very special to me. We are going to talk about gratitude. And as you know, as I've said to you many, many times, gratitude is probably the most important part of our life. And we have to not only experience gratitude, but we have to make sure that we give gratitude to so many people who help us in what we do and throughout our life. So I've invited a very good friend of mine. Her name is Irma Befti, Irna. Welcome to Think Tech Hawaii and Seymour's World. Thank you for having me. Irma is the epitome of a giving mom. She's a working mom and a mother of a child who's suffering from terminal cancer. Irma is the most positive person I know, and she will share her stories of her trials and tribulations and more important how she's able to cope using gratitude as her and her children's salvation. And Irma, I have to say that I see you and you gratitude. Gratitude is not just a politeness with you. It's the way of life for you. It reflects a deep humility and love that you feel to every human being I see around you. And saying thank you is just the beginning. And I know that it's how you express gratitude in so many ways. So to make gratitude go a long way, you give back. And that's why I wanted you to be the person that talks about gratitude on our show today. So welcome to Seymour's World. Thank you. Thank you for having me. If I could, I would give you a hug, but the wires won't open up, so we can. But we're connected through wires, yes, we are. We got acquainted at Capulani Hospital. Yes, we did. Where we have our program, Make Him Smile, and our musicians were playing for Skyler one day. Tell us what happened. So Skyler's been in and out of the hospital. She's been in and out of the hospital since about the year 2009. When she was how old? She was seven at the time, just prior to turning eight. And she was diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune disease with its acronym HLH, HEMO, Phagocytic, Lympho, Histiocytosis. So a bunch of Latin little excerpts woven into one diagnosis. And at the time, children who were diagnosed were in the statistics of one in about every 1.3 million. Oh, my gosh. Of which there were no survivors. So it was certainly a terminal autoimmune disease that didn't have the research at the time to substantiate a treatment protocol. So thank goodness for her team of physicians who, when Skyler had had that really high fever and actually, they couldn't wake her up in school at the time, admitted her, and said, we're going to start this process. So that year, Skyler underwent a lot. And that was the first, we're in the year 2018 now. So it's been quite a journey. 11 years? Oh, 2009. Yeah, right, and 2018 is like right around the corner. So it was in March of 2009 when she was diagnosed with this autoimmune disease. And then through that, we realized as a family that there may be something else going on. So two years after that diagnosis, she was diagnosed with two classes of lupus. Now, when people hear lupus, they're like, well, what's that? There's not a whole lot of airtime for lupus. It's not that it's rare. It's just that it's not widely researched. And when someone gets diagnosed with lupus, they have one class. Just like if you had another diagnosis, say cancer. You specifically know which class you're in, depending on your PET scan and your presenting symptoms. So Skyler has two classes of lupus, which made it even a bit more of a challenge to treat. But she has a team of physicians, amazing physicians. Can we meet Skyler? Let's meet Skyler. OK, oh, there she is. I remember that little girl so well. And the reason I remember Skyler so well, Erin Domingo was playing one of our musicians. And Skyler was there. And even though I could see the pain and everything that she was going through, she looked at me and I saw that smile. And I said, that's what our program is all about. We can make a child smile, which is great. Go ahead. So two years, about two and a half years later, when Skyler was diagnosed, we knew that there was more to just her monthly IVIG infusions that she had to have. And so it was a big paradigm shift in our family. I stopped working as a full-time counselor and was really kind of her person. Yeah, and that's her. Yeah, that's her just a couple of months ago. And she's always smiling. She is. I have never seen that young girl. And I know she has pain. Oh, I'm sure she. But she's a teenager, so she has some sass. Look how beautiful she is. But most of the time, she's happy. That's Dr. Mellis. She's amazing. And is that her doc? That's her immunologist, so infectious disease. Here in Hawaii? Yes. OK. And she actually, not a lot of people know, but she is really the one who discovered Kawasaki's disease. Now, the reason it's not called Mellis disease is because she was having her fourth child when it was published. So the other doctor then got the naming rights to the disease. But that's one of her physicians that is part of the team that treats her still today. So how do you interpret gratitude? I mean, you have suffered, I know, on a personal level you lost your husband. Yes. So you were a single mom, right? Yeah. And you have three beautiful children who call me Uncle Seymour, which I love. I absolutely love. And you don't show, unless you have moments where it hurts, you're showing gratitude all the time. I do. That type of a person. But I'm also human. So I have my moments of being bummed and just kind of like, but in the grand macro perspective, I'm a real big believer in micro efforts. So if we make a micro effort to say thank you or to show gratitude to someone, it could be the janitor on campus. It could be the head of school on campus. There is this ripple effect that's felt. And it impacts more than just the person you're thanking. It impacts the person giving it. It might be people within an earshot. So there's an impact there. I don't do it for the impact, but I do see the tangible effect of being happy. So to you, gratitude. And here we are, Thanksgiving is next week. And I don't know when you're going to be watching our show, but Thanksgiving is next week here in the US. And it's all about gratitude. It is. It's all about giving back. It's all about recognizing people for what they do, what they've done for us, and what they do for themselves. Absolutely. And you do such a great job. Oh, I have been flowed like any other human. But I'll give you an example, Seymour. So about five years ago, I met this mom. And our children were both having infusion at Kapiolani Medical Center for Women and Children. And I didn't know where her child attended school. We just talked, oh, OK, are you eating granola? Oh, I'm eating granola today, too. Are you having coffee? Oh, I drink tea. It became that conversation. And we didn't need to know what each other's children or diagnoses were. But years later, she's become a really good friend. And she is exemplary with her level of gratitude. And then there's this sort of symbiosis that happens when you show gratitude. I mean, it does come back. And a micro-effort really does go a long way. Now, what I think, and I thought about it a great deal, that if you want to really live a rich life, you have to have gratitude. Absolutely. I don't care how much money you have. If you don't show gratitude for the life that you have. And of course, we're going to talk about it in the second half of the show with me and my cancer and all that kind of stuff. If you don't show gratitude, you really have a very difficult time in enjoying life. Richness has nothing to do with money. I agree. I 1,000% agree. I know of a family. In fact, this morning, I'm making lunches for my children, and I'm watching something on the news. And it was about this family that I hold very dear to my heart. Our children are both with WISH children, with the Make-A-Wish Hawaii Foundation. And in 2016, I'm sorry, in 2015, their child was playing as normal as can be. And all of a sudden, he ends up at the ER. It was May of 2015. They don't know what's going on. The school is right adjacent to the preschool. And then they find out he has a terminal brain tumor. And no one would have guessed that. He was out playing soccer the week before. He was being what any four-year-old would be doing. And that's living life and being present. And in January of 2016, he passed away. And I saw their little narrative, again, on a little excerpt for Hospice Hawaii. And I thought, this family has really had challenges, too. But they still lead their lives with extreme gratitude, even when the sun got discharged from Kapiolani. The first thing she had said was, I am so grateful for this place. No one knew that it would have been a matter of days before this boy passed away at home. But it isn't even just a chicken-skinned moment. It's a soul-stirring moment. Chicken-skinned moment for me. And a reminder. It's a reminder of, wow, there are a lot of things going wrong in this world. There are. And yet, this family has banded together. Their community, their tribe, has banded together and really saw not even the glass half-full. It was overflowing. And most people would have been like, oh, this is just tragic. But it was a beautiful experience, all of it. And it's been a year and a half since he passed away, about a year and a half since my husband passed away, because they were about two weeks apart. And do they ebb and flow? Absolutely, because they're human. But they live. They really live. And their blessings come, it's soul-stirring. It's really awe-inspiring to watch them. I think the message behind what you're saying is so important, because everything we read about in the newspaper, read a newspaper, watch television, listen to the news, it's all sensationalism about negativity. And that's how I guess they feel they need to sell papers. It's our job, my job, your job, to help people understand that life is wonderful. And I know the topic of the day right now, we are in November. And the topic of the day is all about women who are being sexually abused in the workplace. And we know that it is there. But if that's all we focus on, and we don't focus on the wonderful things that are happening to people around the world, then obviously we'll only think that the world is a terrible place. When it truly is not. It is not. And Sue and I were just talking about it, because we both happen to, like Al Franken, who's being accused of doing stuff, and now the president and CEO of NPR. And these are people who I've always looked up to, and they're being accused of it. And you say to yourself, why? How? It doesn't matter. It's a microcosm. It is a microcosm. It really is a very small piece. More important to all of you is to understand that if you have in your life a moment where you can show gratitude to somebody else, that is a moment that you'll cherish forever. And very often that comes back to you. That's what you were saying. I agree. That it comes back to you. It does. In recent months, Skylar has changed one of her specialists, one of her nephrologists, because her previous nephrologist is retiring, and we transitioned. And there was a little bit of unexpected apprehension there, because we got so used to having the same nephrologist since 2009. And as Skylar was leaving infusion last week, Friday, we bumped into Martha Smith, who is the CEO of Kapilani Hospital, lovely, lovely human with all the right life force energy in her. And I told her, I said, thank you so much for Susan Ingram. And she drank her, she was drinking her coffee. And she's like, oh, you're with Susan now. And I said, she is amazing. And she is very detailed. She is very on point with her treatment plans, and somewhat serious. But we've managed to crack smiles out of her. It's all of its beauty. Irma, it's absolutely wonderful to share this stage with you, because I sit here and I say, you are just such a positive person. And people tell me I'm a very positive person. You are. I'm on a scale of 1 to 10 with you, because that's not that terrific. Before we need to take a break, because we have to, I have a little quote that I want to say that I wrote down. If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied. And that's a mistake, because having a little more is not what it's all about. If you really want to be satisfied, you have to be able to give back to people. That's what it's all about. I'm Seymour Kazimersky on Seymour's World. Irma Baptista is our guest today. And we are going to be talking more about what you need to do to have a better life. And I believe a lot of it has to do with showing gratitude. Back in a minute. This is Think Tech Hawaii, raising public awareness. Aloha, I'm Gordo the Texar, the host of Hibachi Talk. Think Tech is important to me, because I believe we bring very interesting topics and objective matter to the community. For the first time, Think Tech Hawaii is participating in a campaign to raise $40,000. Give thanks to Think Tech. We'll run during the month of November, and you can help. Please donate what you can so that Think Tech Hawaii continue to raise public awareness and promote civic engagement through free programming like mine. I've already made my donation and look forward to yours. Please send your tax-deductible contribution by going to this website. Thanks for thinktech.causevox.com. On behalf of the community enriched by Think Tech, Hawaii's 30-plus weekly shows, thank you, or mahalo, for your generosity. Hi, welcome back to Seymour's World on Think Tech Hawaii. And if you've followed the program so far, you know that I believe that somebody besides me is a very positive person and can talk about what makes us so positive, what makes us such happy people, what makes us want to give back to our community and to all the people around us. So we've invited Irma Baptiste, my good friend. Thank you. Who basically is my teacher when it comes to understanding why gratitude is so important. So just before we got on, you were telling me about a story about what happened at school. Yes. Go ahead. So I think in every educational venue, whether it be a preschool or a grade school or a high school or a college or post-college, there is the need to have very serious discussions about sexual assault and what that means. And how do we empower our children, not just women, but our children to have that level of discernment and moral compass? We can't erase things that happened five minutes ago. They've existed. But what we have the ability to do is tailor here and now and afford momentum in order to nudge that trajectory. I'm a firm believer of restorative justice and the educational system. So what do we do? Do we punish every individual that has done something wrong? And that's a conversation that's person-specific, because there's no one-size-fits-all. And it's the same with the workplace. I think it has to be situation-specific. And in speaking with this venue today specifically that I just came from, I kept trying to raise my hand to explain my take on it. And it was difficult, because people had more pressing or more earnest efforts than I did. And it made me think, OK, so today is November 17. Yesterday, my daughter was at Camp Erdman. Today, she comes back to school. I pick her up. And she takes with her a container 23 times 7. That's how many pills she takes every day. 23 pills a day. A day. She takes 20 pills a day. And this girl is still smiling and loving. She is. She's vertically. That comes from you, Erdman. Well, I think it's the vertical challenge. We kind of like, we have to grow somewhere. So that's where we choose to grow. And she takes, I have a hard time with my multivitamin. And at one point, my physicians wanted me to take more vitamin E, I think, or maybe it was D. And you're right. And she takes 23 like a champ. 19 in the morning, four at night. And it's very, and it's not a condolence thing. Like, don't feel sorry. It's just a perspective thing. But what is the lesson there? How do you get to that point in your life where you start to take control of the positive things in your life, putting the negative things behind you a little bit? You can't eliminate them. You said so before. You can't. Your daughter has to take 23 pills a day. Yeah. And she has a four hour. You have to live with all that kind of stuff. She's a four hour incubation. And yet you remain positive. And you remain full of gratitude for the life that you have. Well, I also feel, see more, that if we are happy, we can learn, right? Same with a child. Do I want them to get great grades in school? Sure. But they're not going to do that unless they're happy and they're grateful. So I think if we start there and make that micro effort at home, the macro being the school environment or the soccer team or the church or whatever other thing they do outside of school will fill that ripple effect. So we do have a starting point. And as parents trying to grow our children, I mean, we have that responsibility, I think. I think you're right. And I think if we understand that the thanks we have for what we have is a lot more important than saying, I wish I had something else or I wish I had a bigger car or a bigger house or no matter what it is, it's not only children. Adults themselves have more issues with wanting more and not being satisfied with what we have and understanding that there's a lot of people below us who don't have anywhere near the comforts, the level of appreciation that we have. And that translates, the appreciation translates into thank you, that translates into gratitude. And I think that's such an important piece of our puzzle. It is. You know, at the end of every month, I redo our calendar at home at a glance, right? Month at a glance, the kids know who have soccer, who has robotics, who's going to Hula, who's volunteering today. And they know which their moving parts are. And I'm looking at this as the children are asleep. I'm looking at the calendar thinking, what a blessing it is to have so many things to go to. There you go. Okay, so wait a second. That's taking the positive side of it, where some parents would say, oh my God, look at all the stuff I have to take my kids to. I wish I didn't have to take them to soccer. And you look at it and you say, it's a blessing to do all this stuff. And my children are healthy enough to be able to do that. Once upon a time, there's no way Scarlett could be. She had muscle atrophy from being in the hospital. But that is the difference from, that's the difference between a positive attitude and a negative attitude. Now going on that, we're going to bring up some pictures from the hospital. Let's see if we can get them up there. Okay, now here we are. Look at the guy on the right, when you're looking at him. His name is Aiden James. He's at this time, he was 13 years old. And he's a young ukulele player. He's been on our show before. And he's playing for a patient in the hospital. This young man, the reason I have this slide up, is because he's now moved to LA. He comes to Hawaii every now and then. A week before he comes to Hawaii, now he's 15. He says, Uncle Seymour, can I play at the hospital? Imagine for a 50 year old to want to give back like that. Let's look at the next one. Okay, now here's a patient. Look at her smile. Aaron Domingo is playing, that's the mom. And that's the patient, I can't say their names. But you just look at her and just look at how happy she is to be listening to music. Just having gratitude for that moment in time that's gonna give her a little bit of satisfaction. Let's see the next one. Oh, this is very special for me. This is Annie and Curtis of Mango Season. And they were in the natal unit. As you could see, this is a very small baby. And the baby's actually in a full cast. You can't see it, but her body is in a cast and her arm is in a cast. And she was there for six weeks. And every time, we're there every single week, twice a week. And every time we're there, we go and we play for her. Because this little girl stops crying. She's in such pain. She stops crying when we go and we play for her. That's beautiful. Let's see the next one. Oh, these are the smallest guys we have. It make them smile. They're called the Hawaiian heavyweights. I love it. And they are, as you could see, good size boys. And this young lady has cancer. And she agreed to let us take her picture with her mom. And you could see that smile on her, that instance of thank you and gratitude just for coming by. I think there's another one or two before. Yes, there's Tahiti Ray and Augie Ray. I don't know if you know them, but they're wonderful, wonderful people. They're playing at Capulani Hospital. That's a playroom that your daughter has been in many, many, many times. And they're playing for the kids. It's beautiful. I think we have one more. Yes, and this is one of my favorites. This is Hawaii Foster Youth Coalition. This is the group of young people that I mentor under my You Are In Charge program. And this is their graduation day. You could see one of the guys is paraplegic. And the other kids that are there, they're all part of my program. And we graduate them twice a year. We have two eight-week sessions. And I'm so thankful that I can do that. I'm so thankful that I can help these kids because two, three years after, I get a phone call sometimes and they tell me what they're doing and what's going on in their life. So to me, that is such a wonderful way for me to appreciate the work that I've done for them. And it's just a wonders for me. And like you said, you might get that call two to three years later. Oh, I do all the time. And that's always a wonderful thing to be a part of. I have a student who was very shy in kindergarten and first grade. And by the time she was in the second grade, she's now in the seventh grade and she's a published author because she just blossomed with her writing because she really wasn't that shy kid. We just had to figure out where her sweet spot was for growth. And we collectively did that with her therapist, with her teachers, and now she's a published author. It's amazing to know that this child has went from someone who we now see would not speak much to someone who just eloquently writes like a grown-up. And you feel partially responsible for that. It's beautiful, yeah, it is, it is. I feel the same way when people call me three, four years later and they tell me where they are. We're so blessed. I mean, about six months ago on this show we gave away a $5,000 scholarship to Argosy University to one of our foster kids, one of those kids that you saw in the picture. And I get a call from him and he says, Uncle Seymour, can you come on December the 9th? They're gonna make an award presentation to me and I want you to be there because you were the reason I was able to get into Argosy University. Oh, I love it. I think, how could you beat that? How could you not go? Cause that's right. And I've got goosebumps thinking about it. That's what it does to me too. Burma, we're at the end of the show and we have to say goodbye. And I just wanted to ask you to say thank you to whomever you would like to for all the blessings that you have today. Oh, you know, we have such an array of people that we'd like to thank, but I have to thank friends, family, my children for coming through the trenches with whatever we had come our way in the last decade, I would say. I really, you know, it's just, it's really thanking everyone around us. There's really not one or two people. It's a whole village, literally, that comes together to make this work. And especially in your situation, Irma, where you have suffered so much, I've known you now for five years, probably. And I know you're both on a personal level and a business level. And you are a very, very special woman. Oh, thank you. And it is absolutely my pleasure, my treasure, to be called your friend. Oh, thank you. So thank you so much for coming to... I see more of this world. And I wanna thank you out there for watching the show. I'm doing a commentary actually on gratitude right after the show and you'll be able to see it. And it's people like Irma that makes me want to do what I do. It's people who I see have such an appreciation for gratitude, such an appreciation for life, even though their hardships are 10 times worse than what I have. And I just think that that's what makes me tick. So to all of you out there, happy Thanksgiving. To all of you out there, I wish you well and we'll see you on Seymour's World and Think Tech, Hawaii. Aloha.