 What the fuck is up, Minnesota? Welcome to the 85 South Show Experience. How y'all doing? I said, how y'all doing, Minnesota? How many of you guys watched YouTube and watched the 85 South Show? How many of you guys have been to a live show? Well, y'all in for some shit tonight, because it's going down. You are witnessing greatness tonight. This is the new kings of comedy tonight, y'all. We about to get this shit cracking tonight, y'all. I got Chico Bean in the house tonight, y'all. Got DC Young Fly in the house tonight, y'all. Where my ladies at? Where my ladies at? I got Carlos Miller in the building tonight, y'all. To make sure you go to YouTube and subscribe to the 85 South Show, go to all social media, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Follow the 85 South Show. We doing some real special tonight, Minnesota. We didn't know if y'all was coming out, so y'all came out to fuck with us and we love it. I'ma need y'all to stand up right now. We about to get the show started. Come on, Minnesota, stand up. Guys, give them energy. They gon' give it right back to you. If you seen the show already, you know these boys are the shit. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. And we in Minnesota. We in Minnesota. We in Minnesota. Minnesota. Minnesota. Go, go, nigga, go, go. They got you in the hollow too, folks. We in Minnesota. From Montana. Son of a bitch and I be chillin'. In Minnesota, cities in the village. I say I'm up in this bitch and I be chillin'. What she sayin' I'm in Minnesota. Titties in the village. I make some twintitties. She got the twintitties. Big twintitties in the twintitties. Oh, this shit lit. Up top, how y'all think it's done? Up top. She got her points right here. Oh, these niggas, this is a geek, boys. Boy, these niggas. Wait a minute. Minimum points. All right. Boy, you know shit lit when niggas bring their white girl out. When niggas bring their white lady out, y'all have a seat. Now take his white girl out. That's an event. He about to tell you the same thing. He told me, Chico. Hey, niggas was in here yelling all that shit. He said, you all pussy make you sound like. Thank you. That nigga fuck raw for the first time. They ain't even here in some row ever since then. That nigga changed his life. I want to do a song with you. I'm like, now? Exactly. Ah, nigga, we in Minnesota. I did not know. I'm a good nigga, bro. I want to talk about real niggas. We got every black person in this baby niggas bitch tonight. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What's up, boy? What you gonna go see that on? Bro, I did not know y'all had this many fat women up here. I'm talking about five. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yes, y'all do. I'm talking about, look, look, look. Oh, up there. Yep. That's a seat guy there. Oh, Minneapolis. Boy, look, they wouldn't. They wouldn't believe this shit we had to do to get here. Minneapolis? Minneapolis. Minneapolis. That's one of the words every nigga that in school would fuck up. Minneapolis. Minneapolis. Minneapolis. Minneapolis. Hey, fly. She said no. That's what I said, bitch. We from the south. We can't say this shit. No, no, no. We got some white women from Minneapolis. Minneapolis. Where you going? Anybody got some Wisconsin in there? Wisconsin. I'm gonna fucking say boo. Y'all fucking Wisconsin. Oh, wait a minute. The niggas really just boo Wisconsin, man. And what the fuck, Wisconsin? Y'all cannot blame all y'all problems on them, man. Where Wisconsin at? Up there, baby. It's over there somewhere. Portrait hat. Where is that? Portrait hat. Where is that? Where is Wisconsin, bitch? I don't know. You throw five out there. Ooh, ooh. You don't want to catch no flies? Listen, I ain't, man. Minnesota is a unique place. It really is. I ain't gonna lie to you. I love you. I know it's real niggas everywhere. There's plenty of real niggas in here tonight. I'm gonna keep it 100 with y'all. Y'all over here. All the real niggas are right here. I can smell the cigarettes. I'm gonna keep it 100 with y'all. I'm gonna keep it 100 with y'all. And I'm gonna keep it 100 with y'all. I'd rather get a loan for 50 cents than to live out this motherfucker. This shit here. This is different. I knew it was a different place when the niggas told me, yeah, man. The home of Dick's Last Resort. I'm like, Dick's Last Resort? Dick's Last Resort? That sound like the last number in your phone. Dick's Last Resort? That's my Dick's Last Resort. Dick's Last Resort. Let me get a ladder. We all been all day. I ain't seen no black people all day. Just old white dudes with short, khaki shorts on, walking around with their thighs out. Right. What the fuck going on here? And white women that walk up here, don't you know? I'm like, I don't know shit, man. Hey, how are you? Don't you know? That's fucked up. A.T.C. Shit. She look like the girl from Lilo and Stitch. What's the name? Lilo just like the girl from Lilo and Stitch. Goddamn, that is... We got celebrities up there. I'm trying to get your lighter back, man. Man, why you got a sash on? Oh, shit. It's your birthday. Happy birthday to you. Come on. Happy birthday to you. Come on. Happy. Yeah, yeah. Loosely. Come on. Sing away, man. Hey, they leave that white man alone. That Santa Claus. That nigga just do this on... He said, yep. Sure am. I better leave that white dude alone. That is the undertaker step, brother. That's the can. Hey, man. Hey. How old you turn? 32. 32. 32 girls, y'all made some noise for her. Who else birthday here? Who else birthday? They here about 9. Oh, girl, you about to say something? Look. I like her for some reason. I just like her, bro. The girl... The birthday girl with them soft arms when they got that soft arm. What you going do to her? Ooh, I just... I just wanna bite that little back teeth. It be soft like ten at me. Ooh. You got to yank it, though. Delicious. Ooh, I like it. Shout out to all the women who got them back titties that spill out the broth, he got about six back titties. Ooh, I love a good piece of back titties. They all ain't trying to move when you touch it. I know. She just adjusted hers when you said she was like, yep, sure do. Oh, bitch. Ooh. Every time I take a pistol with a girl who got back titties, when I touch it, they all ain't trying to move. I'm like, bitch, I felt that. You ain't here with extra titties thinking I ain't about to touch it. I am going to touch it. What's up, security? East side. North side. What a north side. West side. What's that you doing? Hey, this shit's so funny because everybody yelling out different sides. DC looking for the west side. Look at this, Minnesota. The west side is actually very nice. It is? The west side is fucking impeccable. The bridge, my nigga. The grass is thick. Your kids can play outside. Don't even have to lock your door. Yeah. You better lock it. You know we have, hey, y'all, hey, bro. We didn't came up, man. We know we got the real niggas in the building. Everybody up top. But there's some people I see right here. Talk your shit, then. How are you guys doing? Ooh. God. What's up with you? How the hell y'all know us? What's up, OG? Jim Carrey. How are you, sir? Everybody. We got everybody up in this bitch. We got everybody up in this bitch. Hey, hey. We got everybody up in this bitch. Hey, hey. Wife, folks, Jackson's down. Oh, talk your shit. We got the wife, folks, Jackson's in the building. Hey, hey. We got the wife. Cause you bought some black pussy. Oh, y'all. I don't mean to prove, but who's the white ladies? And that's what it is. Damn. Hold on. I heard what you say. All right. Come on. We got to go. Because these people crazy as hell. Your braids look pretty. It is. I like you. She couldn't find her baby. You ain't here dressed like a pillowcase. That's what's up. I like that sexy ass pillowcase. Hey, Chico. I dressed like the back seat of a Caprice. This is... Hey, Chico. She looked like that lady that went on a date with Granddad on Boom Ducks. That bitch smell like outside. I don't want her. Hey, man. Hey, man. This the liveest audience again. That bitch tight. That bitch tight. You know why they live. Because niggas don't come to Minnesota that often. She just got in. But, hey, listen. Y'all got to claim the fame to one of the greatest niggas ever. Prince. That nigga was a real nigga, man. Boy, Prince. You know Prince was fucking all the bitches. Because you a man. How can you compete with Prince? You trying to tell your bitch don't go over Prince House. She go over Prince House. This nigga got a room full of all her favorite shit. Oh, my God, Prince. Is that a Birkin bag? Yeah, go in there and pick one up. That nigga Prince was cold. That nigga was so cold that he came on stage with his ass out. That nigga still watching. He was just... Whole ass. Whole ass. Out. Hey, was any niggas in Minnesota fucking with the ass out? Prince bought them out. Look at all the niggas. Nah, he was on his own with that one player. Shit. The ladies wondering where that shit. Shit. And he came out from the curtain. I'll tell you one thing. I know Prince... Ha-ha. Then he was singing if I was your girlfriend with the ass out. Oh, girlfriend. I'm like, no, Prince. I'm gonna be the legend, man. Who the hell bought this whole ass chair up here, nigga? They always finding some old ass furniture now. I told y'all, we getting a little money. Y'all need to find some real nice furniture off of up. Not buying the cheapest shit off of up. They got Dick's last resort. This is Cher's last resort right here. That's the last chair they can find. Hey, this the chair you sit in when you refuse to do divorce terms. You wait. Well, she wants 3700 a month of house in the car. You tell that bitch I said she can kiss my ass. That way it go to the prison, sitting in that seat right there. This that seat you sit in. Your grandma sitting in when you come in the house late. Hey, her titties be out. What the fuck did I tell you time to get in? You got a long nipple, grandma. Don't look at my goddamn nipples. Look at your watch and you don't know what time to get the fuck in the house. Your titties in the way. What? That bitch got a deep throat, shit. Yes, she does. She all the way in the back. Oh, look, we got to find her. There you go, right there. That bitch will never be lost right now. This is the oldest theater in Minnesota right here. This is the oldest fuck. This shit make me feel like I'm a fireheart. Hey, shout out to all the ladies who are out there deep throat in cucumbers but you don't eat vegetables. Miss, hey, vegetables, you swallowing the hell out of that cucumber. Stop, bitch. Hey, do y'all like all that shit? Hell no, man. I don't want to see. I don't want to see no ladies swallowing no cucumber. That's terrible. They deep throat the whole cucumber but suck dick like a mouse eating cheese. Fuckin' wrong with y'all. Ain't nothing red. That's the worst shit in the world when the girl give you a hit. Shout out to T.D.L.A. There ain't no cough medicine, suck it. T.D.L.A. just gave me some clothes, y'all. That's all the real dick suckers out there. The real ones. The real one, when you ain't got it, you just go and grab your man belt bonkers it. Like, bitch, what you about to do? Go ahead, then, go ahead. I'm talking about the real dick suckers that suck dick to your eyes and your nose run. Them the real ones. Look at her, yeah. When the bitch look like she just got a ass whooping real bad after she finish suckin' dick. Hey, when you said that you feel the ladies in the bag lean back, they were like, that's too much. Well, we're not looking for you, ma'am. Bitch, look at that. She ate a whole bag of high-flavored Cheetos when she get a bitch from around with you. Why y'all know for an allergic reaction you just suck the dick amazing, ma'am. Go in there and get you some tissue. I'm talking about the real dick suckers having a nigga sleep in the West Byte with the fan on. That's might be cold in the motherfuckin' on it. You ain't gonna catch the flu, bud. You trippin'. You ain't gonna catch the flu, bud. I been told that bitch got the heat on, but he trippin'. They got a part in the head. You got a part in your head? I mean, I see him, but they don't see nothing. Oh, no, he holding on. My man's forehead. I got a dick from the bottom. Oh, no, he got his shit cut like Moore's Day from the Time. What you call that, OG? Oh, it's the Puerto Rico. Nah, you know what you should call it, bruh. You should call it the Kuchy. You got your shit shaped just like a little Kuchy at the top. Nigga got his shit cut. Yeah. Like Frankie Lyman and it's my Why do you fall in love? Why do birds sing someday? You probably a R&B singer on the weekends, ain't you, nigga? What you do for a living, guys? You work with kids? He said that shit. He said that shit like it was cool. I work with kids. What if he really do work with kids? He not a teacher, he just got a job and he the only grown person there. And it's just kids. They doing a grown people job, but they choose me. I ain't standin' to get them for a 30-share. Oh, man, I didn't forget it was an 11-year-old in here just that quick. Shit. Hey, bro, I bet you this ain't the first time she done watched this. This ain't her first time watching this. Yeah, her mama brought her. Her mama snuck her in here. In her shirt. Like, it's crazy now because when I was growing up, we didn't fucked up shit, but we just ain't had the internet. Now the kids got the internet so it seemed like shit a hundred times worse. We was doing all types of freaking shit in Minnesota now. Who played? Hold up, who played? Let's play right now. Everybody had on the count. Come on, come on. All right, what about manhunt? What about manhunt though? What about manhunt? What's that? Aw, nigga, you get a team and nigga, the one team's at run. And everybody's at run and the other team got to find everybody. That's the same game? That's how I go get you, get one nigga. Now a manhunt is you hunt a lot of motherfuckers. It depends on how many people you find. You get to hope whoever you find. Those were the rules when I played. Oh, that make the game different. Remember that first time you got that good hunch in? Remember that first hunch? And then you got that first hunch with the pants down, but the draw. Oh my God, I thought I got this pregnant one time. No, you didn't. What happened? We was hunching with our clothes down I just figured out, I just figured she was pregnant. I don't know. I ain't never even put nothing in, but my dick hand slapped on the booty I don't know what we been doing. I did that one time, I did that one time because you know, I was young. We were on the Wrangler jeans. So I had on some Wrangler jeans, she had on some Wrangler jeans, but I pulled my pants down. But she didn't pull her down, and she rubbed on my dick. Hold up, hold up. Did you see how quiet this room got? Because all the fellas that lost the game are there. Let me see yours, and I'll show you mine. You fuck around and let her go first. They got their pussy before we got our dicks. We still had dangleings. Remember when they had grown woman pussies? She was like, you want to see mine? Look at this. She was like, ooh, yours got healthy. I don't want to play no more. What the fuck was that? What happened? What happened? Man, I had a whole pussy period. We still had a dangleing and Spider-Man draws. But now, I ain't even gonna... I'd never get it when I first got my people here. Think about that shit, now that you're grown. You're like, nigga, they had a whole pussy. What's that? I got something to show you. Remember you said I want grown? Look. You got to catch up when you get to high school. You want to see it now? I think I'm in the game with you now. You want to see it? I feel like them three white people right there doing a yelp review on us. I'm gonna tell you what they're doing. They just sitting there. They just sitting there like this. Yep. That's another star right there. This is what he's sitting there doing. The white lady in the middle. I just want to... John, see how much you can buy them for me for her. She can buy me. I fucking love her. For the ancestors. Ever calling me DC? D.C., just tell me what the fuck you mean. But just tell me what the fuck you mean. What if he really... Another white dude back there enjoying it. He just giving us white dude comments. Man, these guys fucking rock, bro. This fucking show is so fucking rad, bro. Man. It ain't nothing like what white people fuck with you. Because white people, man, they show you love different than anybody else. Oh, my fucking god, bro. My fuck... Bro, you know what the fuck that is? What the fuck, bro? Fucking Carlos Miller, bro. Oh, my fucking god. Put a stick up my ass and call me a corn dog. Is that DC? Hey, hey, hey, hey. I gotta fucking let you know, bro. Hey, hey, DC, hey. I let my girl know what the fuck I mean to your shit all the time, bro. She loves you. She fucking loves you. Dude, shut the fuck up. How am I digging to not call me a Christmas present? It is, bro. How many you got? Probably a goddamn raccoon's dad. Is that fucking Carlos Miller? Oh, he got plenty. Give him another one. Well, put some juice on my medicine. Call me a pickle. Wow. You're fucking awesome, dude. You're fucking amazing. One more. One more. Go ahead. One more. One more. Give him another one. One more. Why don't you put some cream around my ass and call me a donut? Hey, hey, or maybe a bagel. Un-toasted. Oh, my God. Whoa, boy. Un-toasted bagels, bro. Hey, hey, let me suck your titty and call me an infant. How about that? Alrighty. You guys are fucking awesome. Hey, guys, now it's a party. We're fucking loose. Are you having a great time? Are you having a great time? Because I feel like you're not having a great time. Are you having a great time? What's up, dude? What's your name, man? Frank. Ryan. What's up, Ryan? You got a hearing problem. He'll see you. Yeah, you do. Ryan. What's up, Ryan? Are you going to secure us? Three black men. Not just three black men. Three niggas! It's going to be crazy when they explain it to us. Honey, how was work tonight? Don't you know? Oh, honey, you're not going to believe it. I went to the state theater and you know it's been there for a long time, don't you know? And I came in there tonight and there were a hundred black people in there before there was anybody else. And then three of my white friends came in and they was like, hey, Brian, I was like, don't you know these are guys here to see these guys? And then they kept talking to me. I was trying to ignore them, but then there were titties in my face and they kept making me look at them, honey. I didn't touch them, though. That's what y'all say, don't you know? The white people are going to have a meeting after this show. But it's Minnesota, right? We have a problem. It's way more of them than we ever thought. Niggas don't say that. The white people do. Don't you know? Hey, time back, huh? That's not no damn Canada. I've been to Minnesota. I went to the Mall of America. I got hit with the, don't you know, like three, four times, oh, you're unwallowing out. I like that show, don't you know? Do everybody love to fuck with the vikers? They ain't fucking with you? Look at that. Everybody don't fuck with the vikers? They didn't vote. They taught me he'll figure outfits. That's a real black history moment right there. We all get a matching Tommy Hilfiger outfit. Y'all in love, love, man. Y'all got to go take a picture with an airbrush background. Standing over like this. How long you been with her, bros, in ninth grade? You been over four months and y'all already dressing like that. Pussy. Amazing. God bless you, bro. Man, please stand up so these ladies can have a role model. Please. That's your little sister. It's your sister's generation. Your little sister got the best pussy in the family. She been fucking this nigga four months and that nigga already dressing like her. Where your man at? Your pussy trash. You got four babies? You got four babies or that pussy good, too. Oh, look, not four children. You got four babies. 13 and 10. 13 and five. You 35 with a 19, yo. That pussy throwback and you know that. That's right. Throwback pussy. All the way back. What idea? She been fucking this. Chris Carter was playing with the vikers. Damn. Oh, my goodness. So where your baby daddy at? Where your man? Okay. Shit. What the fuck with it? I'm not about to fuck no lady with four children. I am. I'm not. That means that a nigga knew she had three kids and left it in. That's some good pussy. I don't want to fuck with that psychology. That pussy will change your life. There's three kids in there sleeping. You know what, I want some kids in this house. Hell no. That four was on purpose. Let me tell you something. What kind of filter? You're going to count on me one time a year, bitch. One time a year. What do you mean? I don't know what the fuck going on, baby. They ain't going to take no real nigga. They're going to take a drug dealer. A drug dealer come through fucking in all of my kids. We got 11. Everybody got 12. I got myself and she got her phone. We got 12 and a dollar. Everybody got something. A old dope dealer with some 28s on a suburban. You need a truck. You from Detroit? Yeah, I was a nigga. I thought he was from Detroit. I was like, no wonder you got your shit cut like a nigga from Motown. That's what it is. That nigga is a pro-suprano. I get you. This nigga here, boy. That nigga been screaming the whole time. That nigga crazy. That nigga just happy he ain't locked up this summer. It's my first time I said I was 16, boy. Hell you tell me. What you from OG? St. Paul. Y'all to fuck alone. Wait, stop. Stop. Hold up. Wait a minute. The white dude was like, fuck that shit, bro. No. Even the white dude was like... If it ain't St. Paul, what it is? The white dude, you don't believe it. So what did he do, white man? What did he do? He said North Minneapolis. North Minneapolis. North, north. North, north. Oh, the fuck up. We could have just did the show on the north side. Uh-oh. North, north. Hold up. We got the north. That's it. Look at Nana walking to the what's up, baby. Oh. Look at Nana. Walk up there to hold up. See the candle later on the north side. Dumb in the rear, sir. He said loose cigarettes. Excuse me, baby. I love Lee and her. I love Lee and her. I love Lee and her. Just like candy. She can see it when you walk. Everywhere you talk, it takes over me. Just like candy. How I want to go. Can you feel it too? Just like I do. It's the same feeling that I only want to get around. He don't know it. I know that one. I know some shit. You know. Oh, we're halfway there. Oh, the prayer. Take my... What? You don't know that? You don't know that? You don't know that one? Man, I know some shit. She don't know what it is. Well, I'm going to take my horse to the Hortown Road. That's a n***a song. That's a n***a song. I got one phone. I got one phone. You ready for it? You ready? Is you ready? Oh, what's Philadelphia? I got one phone. I got one phone. I got one phone. I got one phone. Hold up. I got one phone. I got one phone. Hold up. You got one phone. You got one phone. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Oh, he know that one. Come on. Come on, white man. You want to go where people see at the Hortown Road the same. Everybody knows your name. This n***a ain't got no TV, man. Jesus. Are you living in a cave? You ain't got shit. Give up on him. Oh, my goodness. I know the white people there know a couple of old songs. Which one? That's a good one, ain't it? That's a good one, ain't it? Just a city boy. Born and raised in South Detroit. He took the midnight. Come on, white man. Oh, no, that's it. Don't stop. Look at the security. He's like, you will not do that to my brother. You will not do that to my brother. That n***a said, hold on to that. That's how white people do it when they be f***ing on black people. Shout out to all the white ladies out here who have black children and you have no idea how to do they have. You're just doing the best you can. You're just ramping it up with your stupid ass. You mad because your cheers can say the n-word and you can't... You can't say that. Yes, I can. Shut up, n***a. Hey, man, cut it out. You know what they say, as soon as they come through, they just can't wait. N***a, shit! All right, here. What's up, baby? That's the real white. You got your head done like the white lady that came out of the TV on the ring. She do got there cutting like Annabelle, though. That was the shit right there, boy. Well, Topanga, Bobby's world? No, that's Bobby's world. Bobby's world is Topanga. Boy, that's Topanga. Oh, shit. Topanga really was light-skinned. She was not white. That bitch had them fat-ass lips That was the shows. We had the real... That's the thing, sitcoms don't exist no more. We had the sitcom. Like, n***a, Martin was the greatest show ever. Talk your shit. Ever. I don't care with nobody. It don't matter how many times you've seen Martin. It's on. You're going to watch it again. Right now. You're still watching right now. Right now. What's going on? All right, so let's try to get the top five episodes of Martin ever. You know what? We're going to do this. You give me your top episode. All right. I won't mind when he had the doll. Oh. When Brawl Man stole the CD player. What? That nigga Brawl Man came back. He said, hey, Martin, I appreciate you. But let me use your CD player. He's like, Brawl Man. He's telling me to do that. He's like, yeah, man, you ain't get that nope. I left you up under the bathroom sink. What? No, Brawl Man. I figured you'd look this since I used up all the tall in the paper. My joint was when it's a tie, it's a tie. It's either between when him and Hitman and Hurridge fought or this is my other one. When motherfucking Jerome fell in love with Pam. Oh, that was cold. That was cold. That was cold. When that nigga went to Von L Hill that's my favorite episode. When Von L Hill came on kissed the pretty ladies and then signed some autographs the Von L Man can ship one point. What about the one where he went to the little church and he went crazy and had to... Secure sunflower. Secure sunflower. That one when that nigga was fighting that rep on that resort, oh my God. That ain't no goddamn puppy. Ah. That nigga Martin was cold, man. This was white shit like that. Fresh Prince. Saddest episode of TV ever is when that nigga Favre ain't come pick him up for every nigga that they ever been let down by their father. You know, and my father was dead so that nigga couldn't come pick me up. That shit was crazy. Most niggas that got daddies, black daddies that been told, get dressed, I'm coming to get you. That nigga don't never come. Also real nigga shit though. You ain't never give up on your daddy. You stayed there all goddamn night. You just stayed there. Baby, he not coming. Yes he is, bitch. Ain't nobody make you get up until your grandmama say, come on, baby. Go get you some rest. Come on, baby. Come on, lay down. He not coming today. That nigga Fresh Prince. I told myself how to fight. I told myself how to play basketball. I don't need him. What he don't want me? I felt that. What he say that? What he don't want me? I look like Uncle Phil with my hat off. That shit is stupid, man. You do look like young Uncle Phil. Like right before he got where I live, we should probably do the fresh, fresh show that should be young Uncle Phil. Jamie Fox show. Jamie Fox show was funnier than a motherfucker too. Jamie was lit. When he got with jingles 2000, it was making up them jingles. When they made that Jamaican Roach song, man, that shit was hilarious. When him and Bracks didn't have the Michael Jackson contest with the Coles episode. Man, let me hold up. Fuck TV. What happened? There's some ladies out here that need some dick. I feel it in the room. It's a vibrace. It's the emptiness in the room. It's a vibrace. It's a birthday girl with a birthday crown on her head. It's a birthday girl with a birthday crown on her head. Yeah, sit down, sit down. Oh, mama, stand up. No, no, no, you stand up. You got an 85 South Shore glitter dress. Turn around, mama. Look at that. Oh, boy, her ass all on the back of your head. Move. Oh, hell yeah. I love her, bitch. You can't hug all the way. You better hit her shoulder. She be trying to hug her like that. It's retarded, bro. I love you, baby. You find like that glitter. All that glitter. She got a dress made out of Michael Jackson glues. Yeah, yeah. She got that ass. It's all up on her back. Little nigga like me be jumping up on that ass like the bouncy house. Get off my girl booty, man. Hold up. Hey, man, get off my girl booty, man. You ain't do no backflip. Don't do that. Don't you fucking do it. Don't you do it. This is the trap. Had to be some dumbass shit your cousin come over your house and try to do a backflip off the couch. Break the goddamn arm. Now your mama come home. How the fuck did you goddamn arm? Who the fuck broke the goddamn arm? I can't have shit. You know what happened? When your mama come home, all y'all sitting there waiting to see who won't get their ass worked first. She walked in and already know y'all lost some bullshit. What the fuck y'all looking so goddamn stupid? Nothing that conversation y'all had before. She come home though. Hey, look. Who broke it? You? I know I did. You tried to do a backflip off of her. But you told me to do it. You got up there and you broke it. Everybody calm down. Look, we just gonna say that we came in the house and it was like that. She not gonna believe that stupid. Let me fix it. She not gonna believe that. I got a perfect idea. It was a tornado. What kind of tornado? A big one. That shit ain't staying up, man. Damn, man. I go get some good tornadoes. Get up. Put that one together. Oh, yeah. We need a cover. Put that over there. Oh, you dang like you sleep when she come in. Straighten it up. Straighten it up. Hold on. She coming in. You said come in. Let's push together. She said move the couch. I didn't do nothing. No. I told him to stop. I told him to stop. He didn't want to stop. Okay. Mama want you. Tell her I'm dead already. He said I'm dead already. Okay. She said you better get your black ass in there before she kid you again. She said if she got to get up out that bed and miss the rest of her stories fucking with your stupid ass you gonna wish you wasn't born. So you better get up and go in there and talk to her or else everybody getting fucked up. Get up, boy. I ain't getting another woman. You better get your ass through. Damn. Stupid ass. Help me clean the living room. Go on and up. He the scary is one. That's what your way get. You okay? Let me see. Bleed, John John. Bleed. Bleed. What she hit you with? Let me ask the crowd. What's some of the stupidest shit you ever got a woman for? Going to the ice cream. Say what? Ice cream, man. She said she got an ass whooping for a hanger being on the floor. A hanger being on the floor? You got an ass whooping for saying you gonna call your daddy. Your home ain't happening. 90% of black households. Look at the white people. All the time out I'm about to say if we get an answer from this I'm gonna flip the whole world. He didn't laugh. He knew this shit was coming. And then I got up out of here. Up there abusive. Gotta go. Hello, ma'am. My name is Chico Bean. Can you tell the crowd here the 85 South Shore what is the stupidest thing you ever got your ass whooping for? You have never gotten your ass. How come you keep getting all we follow? That's one of these Hispanic people. We want to translate that ass whooping into English tonight. Let me see some. Somebody Spanish DC. Why you ain't get up? Hey, Brian, sit down. You ain't gotta go nowhere, man. Your stomach got up before you. Yeah, Brian, you relax. You good, Brian. Just chill, bro. It's gonna be an easy night of work for you. Oh, yeah, we go there. Oh, this family right here, Brian. Wait a second. Uh-oh, nigga, with the suit coming down. Uh, what's the stupidest thing you ever got your ass whooped for? The bar's closed. I'm gonna get my ass whooped for that, probably. What? On the building? What the fuck? You tried to get your homeboy's wife a drink and he gonna beat your y'all into that freaking shit. All right. I know what y'all gonna do. They gonna get drunk and they'll be like, dude, push your dick in her mouth. What's up, my real wife? It's the white girl in the front. White people. Bricks, where you at? Hold up. Let me ask my man Brian. Brian, you're a big boy. You're a big boy. Yeah, but he's a biggin. You've been in the game for a while. What's the stupidest thing you've ever got your ass whooped for? I'm gonna say when I was really young. Your voice is like that, my man? They see what his voice sound like. Well, I don't want to let you know that. He's a friendly guy. When I was about 14, I was like, oh. Wait, let Brian explain what he got his ass whooped for. Hello, Brian. We got to hit a rest. So, I was at the grandpa's house and I was like five. Got behind the wheel of his car, was jumping up and down, put it in the gear and went through the neighbor's fence. Wow. Wait, you guys didn't hear it. He said he was five years old at his grandpa's house and he jumped in his grandpa's car and put the motherfucker in drive and drove his grandpa's car through a fence. You only got your ass whooped for that? Listen, every nigga here would be dead than a motherfucker. If they drove their grandpa car, grandpa can't let through the fence. Hey, Jico, couldn't you see your grandma just dragging you through the neighborhood? Lord, why I had to kill my grandson for fucking with my car, Lord? I didn't know you wanted him this soon, Jesus. You should have said something. Bullshit. Bullshit. Like a little station wagon. He said it was like us today. Jico, that shit was so funny the way he said it, though. I don't even know if the people heard what he said. He said, yeah, when I was about five years old I was over at my grandpa's house. Grandpa is grandpa. No, it's grandpa. Grandpa. We got Popeyes pops. We got Popeyes. OG. I need a good one though. I tell you, stupid as shit I ever got my ass whipped for. I got on the wrong bus when I was a young nigga. We was downtown D.C., right? And my mother used to let me run around in front of her by myself. So we used to catch the 62 to get back uptown. So I got on the 64. And I looked around and my mama wasn't on the bus. She was like, oh man, my mama ain't on the bus. Nigga, my mama ran down my ass in front of a hex. Hex don't even exist no more. It was a department store. But I was getting my ass whipped so bad in front of the store that people were standing in the window like, damn, what did he do? On the street. The worst ass woman I ever got I was over at my grandma's house. Anybody know about a trailer? They got the steps that's just like this that's just attached to this trailer. So you know like that shit, the concrete on the steps started cracking and shit. So we got the steps together and get all these crack pieces off that bitch. We was too young to understand that without the crack pieces there wasn't no goddamn steps. So when we got all the shit off she came outside and saw the new steps was fucked up and she was like, get your ass in here. Man she whipped us so goddamn long I don't even know if I'm related to my grandma. That bitch whipped me like a stranger. You know what? When I went to the ice cream truck, nigga went to the ice, nigga, about 980 degree, nigga my mama said don't go around that corner with the boy I heard that goddamn truck I said fuck that I'm gonna go up the street I go up the street get me some ice cream home all you hear is, John John yo mama coming up the street and you know my mama oh nigga she had her cane, nigga oh you see what it is I hit my ice cream nigga I'm trying to tell her mama I just got an ice cream she picked that cane up and pulled it in she's like get in the house nigga I got my ass whooped for going to get an ice cream let me ask you this you ever got your ass whooped while you was riding your bike when your mama just popped up like a motherfucking ninja you up to speed your mama said waiting on your head to pay it back did not tell your ass to get out here and get in the goddamn house not me off the bike the bike kept rolling she ain't even really whooped my ass when you young you can't laugh at your parents if they fuck up like as a child no I couldn't I remember my mama right she was watching this that shit was hilarious my mama was in the freezer in the refrigerator and the freezer door was open and she lifted up and hit her head and left the whole refrigerator up and all the she was like oh come here you think shit funny around here huh I was like what am I going to do with this shit funny I could have killed my goddamn self didn't have no mama no daddy little big head ass little nigga nigga my daddy had all timers nigga that shit so shit to one good nigga my daddy had all timers Chico she would be funny here he used to ask me you want to go get something to eat he was like what you want I want some McDonald's that we'll get in the car nigga ride ride ride nigga this nigga in a pack 8 McDonald's I want to go to McDonald's oh shit nigga I forgot hey that's the worst feeling in the world as a kid when you got to keep riding past the McDonald's and you scared to ask you to whip past the third one mommy can I get some McDonald's we got McDonald's at the motherfucking house we got there McDonald's see I got an ass whooping for that one time my mama told me we got McDonald's at the house I can get to the house I wait about 20 minutes sitting on the couch I walk back where your McDonald's bad you didn't do that she definitely worked your way she ain't even make the burgers or nothing just ass whooping bed you know what one day we went to McDonald's and they forgot to give me some sweet salad sauce and grandma wouldn't go back she took it I was like grandma they ain't give me no sauce you got to go back she was like I ain't going back baby the only eat that goddamn sweet salad sauce hell I don't know how to make sweet salad sauce and this is where I fucked up at I was so hurt cause you know you can't eat nuggets without no sauce I said grandma you a lie she ain't whooped my ass for that but guess what she did she went home and made sweet and sour sauce not her version of sweet and sour sauce nigga my grandma knew how to make McDonald's sweet and sour sauce at her house she wouldn't let me see her do it but this bitch had sauce at the house that's amazing I just realized some fellas wrong goddamn question don't ask these niggas that shit walk off damn don't tell you I asked you what's the worst thing you ever got your ass worked for stupidest thing you ever got put in time out for ooh I'm gonna tell your father mister probably driving well high but he got me out with a pizza you were driving well high and he got you out with a pizza it's your dad that is white people starving ladies and gentlemen welcome to the 85 South Show and we present to you shit that can only happen to white people starring my white man I was driving well high you got me out with pizza I was driving well high how did you get him out with the pizza it was good pizza I don't trust these white people oh look that's his dad that's his uncle that's his dad he get up every time you go fuck with him alright now don't you sure it's like this be your last goddamn question I tell you that gotta ask different questions damn I wish we could fuck with y'all up top but y'all is in 1965 up there that's that part of that shit is segregated I know y'all was born by the river sitting far as shit ooh and just like the river you gonna see yeah they smoking that shit up there look like he said hi don't it they got some white people out there that didn't make it ah ah ah that just made me think about this if you ain't watch that Netflix documentary the black godfather watch that shit that shit is amazing I would definitely click that more you ain't watch that yet how many y'all done watched it the black godfather it's all good I was sleeping on it too but watch the black godfather this nigga is magic he found you watched it though don't tell it I ain't say it I'm gonna tell it he discovered this one of the things he did amongst a whole bunch of other shit he discovered bill withers do y'all know who bill withers is lean on me you say what oh she wanna see that that was a real shit right there bro you see how relaxed this show is we got motherfuckers just yelling out what they watch on Netflix no fuck that blue planet my nigga that's the shit to watch they get you one of them good 4K TVs nigga just be under water for 2 hours like a 40 fish bubble guppies bubble guppies turned up bubble guppies bubble guppies that's what you be in the career watching right nigga come on daddy let's be bubble guppies ain't nothing like watching you get into them shows with your kids when you watch them shit cause that's the way I thought that was a backyard again for like 2 years which one are you daddy I'm the new one baby give me a name be the motherfucking puppy in the backyard hey backyard you had a real uh a real theme song too oh hell yeah backyard is turned up see our cartoons is different as young niggas we had the cartoons where you really get involved with the cartoons cause the song made you be a part of the fucking new shit call out yeah it happened all the time my shit was marked from Emma Tillspin that was my shit I don't like these new cartoons they don't even be in real danger my nigga don't we used to watch shit like Tillspin and DuckTales and shit these motherfuckers go to they go to commercial break, they get tied up with a big headlays about to cut them in half go straight to it in the bisco commercial hold the fuck up wait is everybody going to be safe when this come back where is launch pad but we know we ain't never really had no black cartoons like like duck wing duck was a nigga but uh-uh scooby-doo was a black proud family I was too, I don't, I never watched Proud but the blue stone was black the flare was like this was what the thing was ice cream cake proud families my bad we didn't give a fuck about what color the cartoons was cause we didn't know we was black yet we didn't give a fuck damn the truth nigga we was watching orange purple motherfuckers blue we didn't give a fuck what color they was that's now you go back and watch the cartoons everybody who a color that they ain't supposed to be they black yep what go back Doug that nigga best friend was green that's a nigga the nigga named Skeeter Valentine his mom and daddy was never at home but he kept a fresh cut and he had the new shoe he had the new shoe on what's the bully name on Doug Roger Klotz he got this shit cut like Roger Klotz that's what it is you got the Roger Klotz had to be a nigga cause he dressed like YG he had a little jagged dress shoe yep and you know black kid they always made them animals too Arthur come on now you know Arthur wasn't it? Arthur was a nigga ain't Arthur bro he daddy and his momma still together come on nigga she ain't got no name they just call her by her initials DW that's a nigga that's black girl shit her name is actually spelled out DW that's her name like D-E-E-N-W like Doug over you that's just you said with a little accent over the you that nigga just grip walk down the steps god damn yo I slept he almost fell hey fly you mister that nigga was going down the steps he was like fuck this you going hey man that's some real black man shit though we the only race of men that can go down some steps cool then no mother fucker white dude can't go down the steps cool nigga all that nigga can come down the steps you a little step though hold up Lowe give it to him Lowe give it to him Lowe hold up then you gotta give him the one where you really cool nigga you gotta give the one where you really cool look at y'all old niggas still gotta you to step let me see it let me see it that young nigga still got knee carnage and shit he still got knee carnage he's jumping off shit I'm ready to jump on the bed nigga I'm 36 I can jump off that motherfucker too he ain't gonna hurt tonight I got that next Thursday I got a fuck three disc up in my bag I'm calcium deficient I need an ACL replacement I got an ingrown toenail I told her you hurt your toes yeah I felt it when I landed I got an ingrown toenail you were fucked around and slipped yeah that ingrown toenail to do something to you salute all the niggas in here we're fucked up feet teen fucked up feet salute y'all niggas you gotta shout out shout out to all the niggas who got shot and didn't really go to the hospital you just told yourself they got bullet fragments in his legs I don't know how our feet got fucked up fellas when did it happen was it when we was little and we was just after this I'ma keep it 100 my big toenail look like them wood chips off the playground nigga I'm like oh I don't know how my shit got like that I'm like nigga I didn't even play soccer my shit look like I was a ballerina don't be pointing at his feet white lady I keep my goddamn socks on white girl trying to snitch on him his feet are fucked up too bro shut up love him anyway take your socks off and hit it from the back tonight fuck it I ain't gonna tell a whole of the masses shout out to all the ladies who like fucked up feet on the niggas it's three of y'all if you like fucked up feet bitch use something wrong with you bitch some women don't like manly shit they want your shit to be fucked up I like a man like damn damn but ladies y'all y'all can't judge us cause y'all got motherfucking shit wrong with y'all too you be pretty than a motherfucker all day til you fall asleep and start snoring like a grown ass man fellas don't that make you change your whole perspective about your girl I love you so much I love you too baby she fall asleep y'all sitting there nigga the tv still on you ever be trying to sleep you be doing this shit wake your ass up y'all wake up try to be pretty again what's wrong right back asleep in two seconds tell that nigga you swallowed to get out your fucking chest buy one hit that shit all night you talking about my toenails being brown bitch you sound like James Earl Jones oh my goodness shut up bitch please women be snoring loud pooting in they sleep that's when they fall and they sleep pooting like hell can they be trying to hold an N trying to look cute soon they go to sleep they're booty be like shit god damn put a bill at that go bitch shit look at all the work they got to poop shit nigga shit bitch he gon' think this your cootin' you keep holding this shit in damn damn son of a bitch hold that poot in let that shit go now you hold that poot in you been knowin' they can be thinkin' your cootin' that really your boot on oh shit that hit a nerve that's stupid we ain't gon' know where I been we ain't gon' know where I been cut these motherfucking lights up rip this shit up cut this shit first of all Minnesota I'm gon' give you 100 idea that it was this much black love in Minnesota real for real this shit beautiful than a motherfucker this shit beautiful than a motherfucker and I'ma keep it 100 I feel proud to be a part of the movement that get to show the world when this come on YouTube people gon' see all these beautiful black people in Minnesota we fuckin' with Minnesota and also in light of us being real nigga salute to the white people bein' a part of the show too man y'all came out and fuck with us too all our white fans we appreciate y'all man hey you gotta shout out to everybody shout out to everybody who don't know they dead and you could be mixed South Pacific island Native Americans all the Asian people who know you all the others that check other on the shit on the test salute to the others shout out to all the gay people do your thing gay folks do your thing cross the street go ahead yeah yeah man we came to Minnesota shout out to all the black people who came out and fuck with us tonight look at the people up top gotta start leaving before everybody else don't go far away them all the Uber drivers up there thank you Minnesota oh oh fuck with y'all thank you Minnesota we fuck with y'all thank you Minnesota my name is Carlos Smiller thank you Minnesota we fuck with y'all Minnesota I don't think y'all motherfuckers understand y'all was one of the loudest motherfuckin' show that we done had and we want to tell you mother fuck that we love you I'm P.P. Y'all fly I'm Chico baby I'm Carlos Smiller welcome back to another edition of 85 self show they went to Minnesota this shit been crazy already shit the before the show was the show we got dropped off in St. Cloud and left had to scavenge for rags arguing with white men I'm ready to go home I'm ready to go home