 Oh, God, this is terrible. Ooh, that's a hot mug, guys. Hey guys, this is my review for New Moon, the second film in the Twilight series. And you may notice there's a little bit of a difference here with the screen. It's because I'm actually using a new lens. This is a Sigma Art 18 by 35 millimeter lens. It's not as wide as I was hoping it would be because I've gotten an adapter. So it cuts off a little bit of the poster wall. But immediately I wanted to try something a little different for this review. I wanted to see if this camera would work. By doing so, I've already probably put more effort into this movie review than this movie did for itself because this movie's trash. This one is by far the almost most pointless one. Other than the fact that it re-establishes Taylor Lautner's character Jacob as a kind of love triangle character, even though there's absolutely no way this dude has a chance. He is being friend-zoned hardcore because she is into some kinky shit. And maybe she might have been a little bit in pure beast mode all the time. Maybe she might be into some furry action but because he's like, you're wrong for me. You have to forget about me, Bella. I think the amount of times I rolled my eyes in this movie, I lost track. There's something that this film does not understand at all and that is subtlety. This movie is the least subtle fucking movie I've seen in a long time. You know those moments where you're supposed to let the audience understand or visually interpret what you're showing, let them think for themselves, let them figure it out. Nope, this movie doesn't do that. Whether it's from the dialogue, the character's interactions are just the visual aspect of the film. Probably the best element I can explain to you for this is when Edward goes away and Bella goes into her depressive and Edward can be a kind of zone is when there is this very good, very nice, actually pretty intriguing 360 camera which just keeps revolving around her and every time you see out the window you see it's a new season but they couldn't just do that. They thought for some reason the audience was too stupid to understand the changing of seasons so they set it underneath. They had to say spring, summer, fall. Why did you need to do that? I got it already. But the movie continues to do this because again, subtlety is just non-existent. Everything from how really obviously rapey a little bit that Jacob is to the absolute ridiculousness of Bella sending an email to an Andrus that does not exist every day for what seems like months. Kirsten Stewart's acting is once again just really shitting it but that's what happens when you have a primary character that has no other motivation than to get freaky with vampires. Oh, Taylor Lautner, man. Bull boy. I'll give him credit. He got into shape for this movie. Apparently they weren't gonna hire him. They were gonna change over his character but he agreed to get into shape and he did and that's probably about the most amount of effort he put into this movie because his acting is just truddy. I will give the cinematography one note, one point and that's because they went away from the blue, they oversaturated blue. There is some color in this world and that's probably the only thing that keeps you from falling asleep. The story, despite being two goddamn hours long, is literally the same five minute thing being repeated over and over and over and over again for about an hour and 40 minutes. The beginning of the movie has one of Edward's crony families getting a little bit juped up when Bella cuts her finger. She's like, oh, oh no. What, what is that? Bella, I'm dangerous for you. I've gotta go kill myself. And it wasn't obvious enough that there was a bunch of Romeo and Juliet vibes throughout this entire story. Bella is literally reading Romeo and Juliet at one point in the movie. Like I said, subtlety does not exist in this movie. It is absent in all realms of storytelling. The ending of the movie, when it finally God willing comes, it doesn't really pay off anything of what you were sitting through. Sure, Edward doesn't kill himself. And you find out about the odd vampire order with Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen and yeah, that's it. There is nothing in this movie that forwards anything except perhaps the ridiculously stupid cliffhanger at the end where Edward asks her to marry him. But I know she says no because I've already seen Eclipse. Yeah, I'm committed to this. So yeah, no, it's just a terrible movie. It's the worst one from what I've been told and I can a hundred percent agree so far. It's worse than Eclipse. Eclipse wasn't bad, even though Eclipse was just as pointless as this goddamn movie was. The characters are terrible. The motivation is terrible. The subtlety is non-existent. It doesn't allow the audience to have to think for themselves. But again, that's pretty much like the character. The character doesn't think for herself either. And it's just all around. It's just a really boring, boring, boring, boring movie. You probably could make a shot game out of this. Every time there's an eye rolling or groan-inducing moment, you could take a shot, you might die, but you could do it. Either way, New Moon gets a one out of seven from me. The last one at least has some elements that made it attentive at redeeming. There's no redeeming this movie whatsoever. Even that one good shot, nothing at all. Anyways, guys, I hope you enjoyed this review. I hope you're looking forward to Eclipse next, because I'm not, but I will be reviewing that. Otherwise, if you enjoyed the review, leave a like, and if you're interested in more, subscribe. Anyways, see you guys next time. Thanks for watching the video. My name is Knitz, and you might remember me from the animated cult classic TV show, Undergrads. It's been a while, but I'm happy to say the click is finally getting back together in an all new movie, thanks to a successful Kickstarter campaign. But we are still asking for your support. To see any and all updates about the upcoming Undergrads movie, be sure to check out and like the Bring Back Undergrads Facebook page. And with any luck, we'll see you guys soon.