 وأقولوا في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزال و أقولوا قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي و لا أتأولوا الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على أبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته نبدأ بالنسبة always with the praise of Allah and we begin by asking Allah to exalt the mentioned grand peace to our messenger محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions in this episode in شاء الله تعالى we're going to be talking about homeschooling and to begin with I just want to make it clear to everybody that this lecture is not only for the parents who are thinking about homeschooling their children in fact the lessons from homeschooling are so valuable generally speaking in the tarubia of your children that actually they are applicable to a wide range of people and nearly everybody inshallah can take a benefit from taking some time out to learn how homeschooling works the advantages of it and also some of the potential pitfalls or errors people might fall into and how we can address those and some of the misconceptions that people might have and the reason I believe this is applicable to absolutely everybody or almost everybody is because as a parent you are as we've heard so many times مسولون you are responsible for your child's education your مسول and therefore having the ability to supplement their education at home even if it's not a full-time thing even if it's not a permanent thing having the ability to learn how to use the tools and the skills of homeschooling to teach your children Islam at home for example where Islam Islamic teaching isn't available in a wider context for example or isn't available there aren't for example madaris or schools for Islamic teaching that you can send your children to so ultimately there are many benefits in this for everybody and I don't want to restrict this to a very small number of people and say this is an episode specifically for those parents who are homeschooling their children in fact really this is an episode for everybody to give consideration to the value of homeschooling and what it can teach us in terms of the tarubia of our children and the way that we educate our children will everyone watching this video go on to homeschool their child or their children I think it's almost guaranteed to say that they won't and Allah عز و جل is best because it's not easy for everybody to do although homeschooling is a strange one it's a one where you sometimes the things you think might be difficult are easier than you think and perhaps some of the things you might not have thought about might present some difficulties and Allah عز و جل makes easy for whoever he wills سبحانه وتعالى so really this episode is about النصيحة so I wanted to start with the hadith the hadith is reported by a Muslim in his Sahih from the hadith تميم ابن أوسن الداري رضي الله عنه that he said that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said الدين النصيحة this religion is النصيحة and النصيحة it can mean being behaving in a sincere manner towards someone behaving in a sincere way towards someone that's what النصيحة is sometimes people trying to say as giving advice and that's that's part of it giving advice is part of it but only the it has a wider context because the hadith talks about giving نصيحة to Allah and to his book and to his messenger so here we need something a little bit more why a little wider in scope than just the words of just to offer words of advice so الدين النصيحة this religion is about acting and behaving in a sincere manner and you know behaving as though you sincerely are you are sincere and you sincerely want good this religion is النصيحة قلنا لمن تميم الداري he said that we said to the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم to whom should this نصيحة be who should we behave in this way towards قال لله ولي كتابه ولي رسوله ولي أئمة المسلمين وعمتهم he said towards Allah and his book and his messenger and towards the leaders of the Muslims and the general people so this religion it is based around النصيحة acting in a sincere way and behaving sincerely and from those that have a right for our sincerity and for us to behave sincerely towards them and to be نصيح someone who wants good for them are the ordinary Muslims the people who are the regular Muslims all over the world every Muslim regardless of whether they have a status in society or whether they don't regardless of whether they have a position of authority or they don't the عمة المسلمين the regular general Muslims all over the world they have a right that we are sincere towards them and part of behaving sincerely is to offer words of advice الله عز وجل سيده العصر إن الإنسان لا في خصر إلا الذين آمنوا وعملوا الصالحات وتواصلوا بالحق وتواصلوا بالصبر by Allah عز وجل صورة by العصر by time indeed mankind is in a state of loss except those who believe and do good deeds and advise one another to the truth and advise one another to have patience so this episode even though we are going to mention some evidences from the Quran and the sunnah for various points that we want to clarify but ultimately what this is really about is my نصيحة to you as parents or as future parents my نصيحة as it relates to your children's education and my نصيحة as it relates to homeschooling your children wherever possible and I'd already mentioned what I believe to be the dangers of the modern schooling system that we have today and I believe those dangers are present regardless of whether those schools are Islamic schools or not regardless of whether they are teaching curricula that are in accordance with Islam or not those dangers remain there and the need for education, worldly education also remains we don't take away from that so I'm not saying that all of the schools are equal and nobody should ever understand that from me whatever quote me and say to me that Mohammed Tim Sayyed makes no difference if you send your child to an Islamic school or an Islamic school that's not what I'm saying the schools are different they are of many different levels some of them are very very good and some of them are very very bad but ultimately all of them have significant flaws and dangers for our children those dangers can come from the curriculum itself which propagates all kinds of things whether it is some of them propagate atheism some of them propagate religious concepts that are foreign to Islam some of them propagate the equality of all religions some of them propagate rebellion and by that I mean rebellion against authority of all kinds be it parents be it you know question everything don't accept what you're given be you know break from the people be different and so on and often this can cause a person to the negative effects upon them in terms of their Islam where they start to reject the authority of those that Allah has given authority over them like rebellion against their parents and so on and all of these things can be things that are stalked and fueled by curricula that are designed and made by non-Muslims at the very least the minimum you can say is that they didn't consider Islam when they wrote them and some of them were shealteen shealteen devils and they wrote these curricula for the purpose of misguiding our children away from the path of Allah and that is not something which is difficult to imagine so we say that the best of the non-Muslim curricula the best you can say about them is that they didn't give consideration to Islam but as for among the worst of them are those who it's not difficult to see when you look at the content of that curricula and when you see the schools and the ethos of the people that are propagating it that it was designed for a deliberate purpose to take the people away from the path of Allah Subhan Allah and likewise if the curriculum is sound the second problem that you have and bearing in mind with the curriculum we have another problem is that the Muslim countries many times in many situations have adopted the standards of the non-Muslim curricula because they felt that they had to do that or that was necessary to have that standard and so they have adopted also many of the negative things within those things as well on top of that you have the issue of the schools themselves so let's just imagine the curriculum is good and pure and correct but not the ethos of all of the schools some of the schools their ethos is to encourage anti-islamic activity and I'm talking about in Muslim countries when I've seen this with my own eyes where the encouragement constantly from the teachers from the school the ethos of the school is to take the people away from the path of Allah let's just imagine the curriculum is fine and the school is fine the ethos of the school has good Islamic values and encouragement to obedience to Allah and developing Imam and so on and the curriculum is sound then on top of that you have the problem of all of those other children that come together from those different households and not all of them have the same values and you have the problem also of the teachers as well and that's not to be critical of the teachers but not all teachers have one good for their children or for their students some of their teachers they come with ulterior motives and they come sometimes from other religions and again people might say well what's the harm if there is a Christian person teaching my child mathematics but ultimately anyone who has actually been involved in that situation and seen it they will see that the persons it will come out there is no escape from it the persons belief it will come out even if they are teaching you the alphabet or they're teaching you mathematics or they're teaching you science ultimately there will come out it will come out there is no escape from it and it has to happen and this is something that you can see clearly and again will the child pick up on that maybe not will it be obvious perhaps not will it be in a way that harms the child perhaps not but these dangers still remain and even if all of the teachers are fine and the schools ethos is strong and the management is strong and the curriculum is strong then after that you have the other children who come from households that don't all share the same values that you as a parent share so that the other child is saying that or my child you know my mom lets me watch TV my mom lets me listen to music lets me watch movies we're going to the cinema we're going to go to the concert we're going to do this and that and the other and so on so I play with my female cousins and male cousins mixing together and whatever and these are from at the end of the day Muslim families we're not saying they're not Muslim Muslim families but they just don't have the same standards you have and then your child comes home and says why can't I do these things they have this phone and they watch these movies and they do this and they do that and they don't have to study Islam and they don't have to memorize Quran and they don't have to this is still a danger now someone may say and this is a valid point they may say but Mohammed Tim these dangers exist in homeschooling environments as well and you can't wrap your children up in cotton wool and say that they'll never be exposed to a child who will say that to them and I say to you that is true but the percentage and the amount of exposure is there is no comparison between them there is no comparison Subhan Allah a class of 30 children of which half of them are saying this every day for 5 hours a day to your child versus one-off situation in a week in a month where your child comes across someone like that there's no comparison between these two things there's no way you can compare these two things as being equal لا يستون عن الله they're not equal in the sight of Allah nor should they be equal in your eyes to say that to say that the exposure to the Haram that the child would get because your child will be exposed to the Haram at some point yes that's true all of us are tested Allah has created this life for us to be tested الذي خالق الموت والحياة ليبلوكم أيوكم أحسان وعمل you're going to be tested in this life no doubt however whatever you can do to protect your children and there's no doubt that the control that you have over the environment as a homeschooling parent is way way more it is multitudes more than the control that you have when you send your child to school however we understand that homeschooling doesn't necessarily work for everyone so let's explore a little bit about what it is and what are some of the ways that we can approach it the first thing I want to establish is that homeschooling is about flexibility so take out of your mind this idea that you have to make a carbon copy of your child's school and set it up at home for example your child goes to school has five lessons a day with five different teachers the lessons start at 9am and they finish at 3pm and there is a one hour lunch break in the middle and so on and so forth the more you're trying to copy that and paste it it won't work it will be difficult for you and you're actually giving up many of the blessings and benefits from homeschooling so I believe first of all even homeschooling as a definition take out of your mind this idea that homeschooling is about replacing the school one for one homeschooling is about flexibility and that's why I believe it's beneficial for all the parents because you can part-time homeschool your children you could send them to school for a year if you thought that was needed because there is a need we're not denying about the need for education you might be in a country where the child has to take the exams in school for a year or two years in school you could part-time it might be the fact that you're happy with the school in terms of the world the education but you would like to homeschool your children on the Islamic side of things it might be the fact you want to supplement your children's world the education because you might have put them in a school where the academic level is not quite as good in order to have a better Islamic environment and may Allah bless you in that that's an excellent choice is to sometimes compromise somewhat the academic level of the school in order to perhaps give your child a better environment as it relates to Islam but then you might want to supplement it and so on it may be that you work full-time or both parents may work full-time and you may have to restructure it around different timings and things like that ultimately this whole idea of rigid timings and rigid methods is something it works for a school and I'm not here to tell schools how to how to run their schools you know they have experts for that but you are giving up the advantages of homeschooling if you don't embrace that flexibility however I'm going to bring a counterbalance to this flexibility doesn't mean a lack of discipline just having flexibility doesn't mean you don't have discipline and I believe it's really important that you and your children if you decide to homeschool them even if you only decide to homeschool them on the weekend even if you only decide to homeschool them one evening in a week to supplement some kind of education whatever it might be that you want to do to try things out to have a goal that it has to come with a degree of seriousness and adab and discipline manners and the way that the children are taught to behave this is also really really important so for example if you allow the children to just get out of bed and you know in their sleeping clothes just sort of come in and lounge around and you know sort of like pick up a book and put down a book and then go out for a while it ultimately if that's the whole model of how you homeschool the children it is going to cause difficulties because it's going to lead to a lack of discipline and a lack of a work ethic and a lack of adab a lack of manners and etiquettes and these things are all things that Islam gave great importance to for example it's narrated with regard to the sittings of Imam Ahmed that there were around 5,000 or more people used to come to the sittings 500 of them used to write hadith and the rest of them used to learn manners and behavior from the Imam رحمه الله تعالى they used to learn how to behave and used to learn manners so it is important that we have the kind of manners and discipline from that but here is where we can draw upon a rich Islamic history and Islamic material that exist to teach our children and one of the most amazing things you can do with homeschooling is to fuse the benefits that you take from your Islamic education and those that you have from the worldly sciences as well and this is how really I believe this is how it should be my advice and this is how it should be is that this whole concept of secular education we should just take it and throw it out this whole idea of secular education that we separate the Islamic etiquettes and knowledge and manners and the way that we learn and we separate the things that we do in our learning for the worldly life and we never allow any of the two to cross this is secularism this comes from secularism it doesn't come from Islam rather in Islam we want to take those benefits for example what's to say that we can't teach our children the adab the etiquettes of studying from the Islamic sources where they're far stronger and far more robust and far more have far more life far more modesty and far more benefit in them and then encourage our children to apply the etiquettes of learning and studying in Islam the culture of hith you know as another example the culture of memorizing and we've spoken about it how important it is to memorize and we encourage our children to apply that to the worldly sciences in an appropriate way because not everything is going to be the same no doubt the person who teaches you mathematics is not the same as the person who teaches you Quran however there are also ways to connect the two take for example the the material that our children read when they learn English for example take as an example the the examples that our children do in mathematics and in sciences and so on why can't we find ways to tie this to Islam let alone topics like history which overlap in the first place even though generally most of the western curricula have completely erased Islam entirely from history as though it didn't exist but the opportunities for you as a homeschooling parent to reintegrate the worldly teaching and the Islamic teaching and that doesn't mean that we place the two on a level and it doesn't mean we use the same methods for both or that we consider each one of them to be the same but just to find ways to overlap ways to integrate the two and ways to provide a strong Islamic identity to our children even when they're studying worldly sciences move away from this complete separation of the two and like we said Islam has a fantastic tradition of studying and learning and respect for the teacher manners and etiquettes that subhan Allah your child could benefit from immensely as it relates to their regular education and taking it seriously as well so that I believe is also an important part of the benefits of what you can achieve this flexibility and the ability to integrate things you know how many times have you said I just wish that my child would be able to study Islam a bit more you know they have maths and English and science and history and geography and you know all of these things but you know even in some of the Islamic schools the Islamic component of teaching is very small the thing is as a homeschooling parent you have the flexibility to choose you can increase it you can teach Islam two-thirds of the time and you can teach the worldly sciences one-third of the time or more or less or however you want because it ultimately it is your decision how you formulate that education and also flexibility goes even further than that flexibility goes even further than that it even goes to the extent where you change things around depending on the child and depending on the different times of the year when you're busy or the different times when you're not who said that you have to have school holidays from June until September or something like that there's no rule that says a homeschooling parent has to do that a parent who's a home educator has to do that there's no rule for that you can adapt things there may be times according to the seasons where for example in the winter we might have in some places long nights and short days and so you may want to change things around you can change things around according to your children and how they feel and that you don't have to stick to one particular method or one particular standard as long as you still maintain a degree of a degree of etiquettes and discipline as it relates to to studying now one of the ways I was mentioning and I did allude to it earlier as it relates to maintaining discipline is that you just encourage the children to take it as something as being different from the normal home life and this is one of the real genuine things a lot of parents mention a lot of difficulties that parents have is they say that we find that our children run right at home they run around they play around and they're children they have fun with each other they play games and when we tell them to study at home they can't do it because for them the school is a different place and their behavior is different and the home is a different place I think first of all there's a number of issues or advice I would offer in that regard I think first of all it's probably not an ideal element of Tarbia to have our children see that the home has no limits at all and that they can or jump off anything or run around anyway I think that in terms of the Tarbia we need to adjust that to make even though children should definitely have their time to play and enjoy themselves and they should be allowed to make mistakes and we've heard about the Hadith of Anas the prophets I think they used to have a go at him about the things that he did that were not related to the religion but it's also important that we emphasize this etiquette and adab and manners and how about our children in a balance in that way not that when they enter the house we lock the door and say run right and when they go out we tell them you have to be really well-mannered because ultimately what that can do is that actually it actually encourages the children to misbehave around their parents not to respect their parents and so on and then it encourages them that when they go into that school environment they suddenly behave until they get home also one of the things we can do to change this mentality is to make homeschooling something distinct for our children and that's something that I personally do when it comes to homeschooling time it's not like you get up in your sleep clothes and you lounge around it is that you come to school you get ready for school it doesn't have to be a uniform as such although you could adopt an Islamic dress uniform why not if you wanted to if you thought that was beneficial because the uniform is still the identity one could say like you have to wear your Islamic clothing or you have to wear something at least you have to wear some nice clothing and you sit down maybe you transform the room even if you have a small room even if you have one room you put things away toys go away games go away and then what do you do you bring out the desk the table or if they sat on the floor like what they're resting on to write maybe the teacher would sit on a chair or would sit at the front and they would respect that this is a different situation now this is a different environment and that is going to take time parents should not think that that's going to be an instant in one moment my child is just going to switch but helping them to feel a bit more like school having for example a cupboard or some a drawer which is full of school supplies take your textbooks take your your school bags or whatever it might be or your boxes from the cupboard and you take your pens and paper out and you sit down and you prepare for school okay school is finished now you can put your things away you can bring out your toys and your games and you can play that kind of thing can help the children to maintain that little bit of discipline so it is about flexibility that's a major major part of the homeschooling of the benefits of homeschooling is that aspect and also from the major benefits is that we we want to try to encourage that those and those etiquettes and manners that are a part of a part of Islam and here I would like to sort of bring in a point which I believe is really important and that is just because you homeschool your children doesn't mean that your children would never go to quote unquote school of some kind in fact is the opposite I wouldn't recommend that at all if your children have a chance to attend Islamic lectures or your children have the ability to perhaps attend an Islamic events or gatherings or even to attend conferences like workshops that are organized for children there is no harm in this because you as a parent have far greater control you know for example there may be a science and technology workshop where the children are going to get together and they're going to learn about some of the sciences in a practical way and you can go and have a look as a parent and decide if that environment is going to be suitable for your child or whether there's going to be some some harm going on there and if you feel that it's suitable for your child there's no reason why you can't send your child to that for a few hours or something like that there's no reason and definitely as it relates to the Islamic lectures classes مدارس even for example I know parents at homeschool their children and their children go to a تحفيذ مدرس a school for the memorization of the Quran but that is you know that is in that aspect but the rest of their education they receive at home so this is also something which is very beneficial for you as a parent and I wanted just to give you a bit of inspiration because sometimes you might think well from the point of نصيح this is a نصيح session giving you some advice and so on you might feel like well do we have something to back this up so I'm going to quote to you from إمام مالك رحمه الله the great إمام مالك and he said كانت أمي تلبيسوني أثياب وتعمموني he said my mom my mother she used to put my clothes on me and she used to make me wear put my turban on me when I was a small boy وتقول يا بني إأتي مجلس ربيعة فتعلم من سمته وأدبه قبل أن تتعلم من فقه وحديثه she said that go to the gathering of ربيعة and learn from him his behaviour and his manners before you learn from him his فق and his حديث سبحان الله she sent out her son she got him dressed she put on his turban like we said you know this issue of you know the etiquas and discipline she got him ready she sent him out and she said الهجمه ربيعدانه ربيع ابن عبي عبد الرحمن و here I want to respond to a شبر و I'm going to call it a شبر because I believe it's a شبر that people have They say that homeschooling causes your child to be underdeveloped socially و أعتقد أن هذه ... في كل حالة ، هذا أستطيع أنني أتخيل أن أستطيع أن أستخدم برطل إنه مقابل إنه مقابل ، إنه مقابل بالطبع لأن الصالحة الصالحة لن تردد أبوهم لتعلم أداب و لتعلم بحايفية من الغلمان أو الصبيان من صغير وخير يقومون أبوهم لتعلم بحايفية من الغلمان هذا is where the children learn manners from and social skills from من المساعدة من الجلسة المجالية من الغلمان هذا is where they learned it from لأنني لا أرى أنه من لدائم صالحة الصالحة في أي طريق that you think that your children should learn behaviour from children like them اللهم unless it is in within the context of the Islamic gatherings and the Islamic schools so they see the children who are sitting nicely and they learn from them and so on This is possible but this idea that homeschooling deprives your children of social skills This is It doesn't stand up to scrutiny in any way at all And it doesn't stand up to scrutiny either from the point of looking at the children themselves You see children who are homeschooled with the best of manners So this idea that if I don't send my children to school They're not going to get social skills I don't think this stands up to scrutiny There are some areas where there might be There may be need for that social development And this can be solved very simply through two aspects Number one, as we said one area where I've mentioned before A little tricky is group work If you have just one child who you are teaching And they need to do work that is traditionally Or that is the teacher The curriculum instructs it to be done as a group And they're only one person So here very simple To sign up or to register with other homeschooling parents Other home educators And to work together to teach For the children to work in groups With people who are similar to them And likewise When we say homeschooling Who said that this means that there are no social gatherings And this is also a misconception That people have about this That homeschooling means there should be no social gatherings Take our children to as many social gatherings As we would like as parents But we are going to choose those social gatherings Like the mother of Al-Imam Malik Chose the gathering of أبي عبد الرحمن For him to go to To learn That's where I want you to learn your social skills I want you to go there and sit there There will be other children there That you can learn from You can sit from You can make friends with You can talk to There will be adults there as well That you can learn from You go there and you sit But you're going to be in an environment That I think is going to be net positive It's going to bring more of a benefit to you Even if you're just learning Adab Behaviour and mannerisms It's an idea that I think this idea of social deprivation I think it comes primarily First of all A lot of times it comes from the non-Muslims But even if it didn't It comes from a misconception That homeschooling means Your children don't socialise That's not the case It means that you as a parent Have greater control Over and decision making In where and how your children socialise So it could be that we go to the Masjid Or it could be that we go to Another homeschooling forum With children of similar In a similar situation Or it could be that we Socialise within our families And our family structure And this is of course Another major way We're talking about tarbih At the end of the day It's another major way In which children learn From the family gatherings That take place within the family And their relatives Mixing with their relatives And so on Seeing how their parents behave These are all from the means Of developing the children In terms of their social skills So I don't think there is any Evidence or any Delil either in terms of theoretical Or even empirical evidence To suggest that children Who are homeschooled Are socially inept Or socially unable to To manage the world Large In fact the opposite appears to be true That because they learn And feel important behaviour And important etiquettes And because their parents choose For them the best places To learn those etiquettes from Generally speaking They're far more able To mix with people In a positive way To take part in group work And so on And often more confident To do so And that the part of that Is also that we develop These characteristics These achlak within our children In terms of things like Reliance upon Allah And then reliance upon the self The child develops the ability To work by themselves Seeking the help of Allah And working by themselves Independence And all of these things benefit When it comes to going into Like for example the world of work Or it could be a university And they have to Engage with other people Often they're the ones Who have the role of You know leadership And the ones who take The first step forward Because of the confidence They have in their own ability And because their parents Have not restricted them From meeting people For the last 15 years That we've locked the door And never let our children Meet anybody But we'd be more Careful about who they meet And more careful About who they mix with This is the first part Of my advice As it relates to homeschooling Any shot allowed To add that there will be A second part Where we're going to talk about Things like qualifications And how do you navigate The different ways That the child would get A qualification And get recognized And then also talk about The actual day-to-day mechanics Of how to teach the children That different ages This is coming up In the next episode And Allah is with you all His best Wassalaatu was-salaam Ala nabinah Muhammad Wa'ala alaihi was-sahbihi ajma'ih Assalamu alaikum If you're enjoying these videos And you'd like to keep up to date With all of the courses We're going to be running Make sure you head over To amauathome.com