 When you take off the narcissist does this So you may have been with a narcissist for some time They love bombs you in the beginning They idealized you They acted like they were about the same things as you were a relationship Something long-term Something sustainable a marriage children a future They made you believe that they were about all of that But then they started to devalue you They treated you with contempt as though you were worthless or beneath their consideration As though you didn't matter So you were unimportant to them and they overlooked you there were more focused on other things Maybe they were cheating They were more focused on other supplies And they just didn't really seem to care about you anymore They weren't giving you the same attention that they were given to you in the beginning they devalued you They put you down They made you feel like you're nothing and so after a while You began to get fed up of it You were fed up of being overlooked of not being Given the proper love care and respect that you deserve You were fed up of all of that you began to realize that You deserve better You deserve more You deserve someone who appreciates you What the very least you deserve to be Alone and at peace with yourself You began to come to that conclusion so at some point You decided to take off You decided to leave them behind Forget about them and move on But this is the crazy part about it and not everyone will go through this a lot of you will It's that when you take off When you leave them behind It's like they love you the most When you've got one foot out the door Or at least it seems as though they love you They act like they miss you They come back with a love bombing They act as though this time they're going to treat you right They come back with the fake apologies the false epiphanies They come back telling you whatever they think you want to hear They come back with the lies and the future faking With all of these false promises and dreams for the future and they make you believe that they're about something for real When the reality is that they are not about anything They're just coming back to manipulate you all over again To make you believe that they're about something when they're actually not and the reason why they come back when you take off It's because they're very insecure They fear losing control of their target Because they're very envious and jealous of you So the last thing they want you to do is to leave them behind And to move on to something better something more or even just you being alone by yourself Yes, believe it or not even that It's a serious threat to their control Because they already know You're going to be a lot more at peace by yourself than you ever were with them I mean we already know those those of us who have been through it You know what it's like It's far more lonely being with them Than it is when you are alone by yourself It's actually a lot lonelier When you're in a relationship with these types of people it makes you very anxious depressed At times you may even feel like taking your own life And then you finally take off you get some peace by yourself And suddenly things start to seem normal Your happiness starts to come back And many of you You may even desire to stay alone Maybe you're afraid of triggering the narcissist Because as we know, yes, they are very jealous They're very competitive They're always comparing themselves to the target So the last thing they want is to see you moving on and doing better With someone else without them They do not want to see that So they come back to try to control you They hoover you They may come back with a love bombing To lure you in again But a lot of times they know that's not going to cut it They know that's not going to work So what they do is they go straight To The lies, the rumors, the gossiping The triangulation The smear campaigns behind your back They do all of these types of things instead to control you Because they know they can't get back in with you like that again It's all about control Because if you haven't realized it by now You are dealing with someone who is very insecure Someone who actually lacks a lot of confidence in themselves Although they act arrogant, they act superior They act very entitled All of this is actually to compensate for deep-rooted insecurity They are very unsure of themselves And yet a lot of you, you don't realize it But this is actually why they are hoovering you It's why they're trying to come back It's why they decided to have control over you And it may seem crazy Because you've got to look at it like So the entire time you were putting me down You were devaluing me Making me feel like I'm not good enough I'm worthless I'm never going to be anything to you Making me feel like that And then as soon as I've got one foot out the door Now you're trying to track me down Now you want to see what I'm doing, who I'm with What I'm trying to go I mean you've got to connect these things together And realize that it doesn't make any sense I mean let's say you have a cheap watch Costs you maybe 20 pounds It goes missing, you lose it You're not really going to care too much about that watch Because it wasn't that expensive So if you lose it, you're not really going to care If you remember where you bought it, you might just buy another one Instead of going looking for it But let's say if it was a sentimental piece Or a very expensive watch Maybe a Rolex Let's say you lost that You are going to invest a lot of your time Making sure that you get it back Because it means a lot to you It holds a lot of value So it's very important It demands a lot of your time, energy and effort To make sure that you secure it And that you get it back So this is how you know that they are playing you for a fool They're lying to you, they're manipulating you They're giving you a false narrative They're misleading you Because otherwise, why would they come back? Why would they try to lure you back in again? Why would they focus so heavily on making up rumors and gossiping about you? Why would they invest so much of their time into the smear campaign? They do all of these things Because yes, in fact, they do recognize your value They recognize that You do have something They recognize your qualities, your abilities All of these things that make you who you are It's just that as soon as they manage to have control over you And they manage to contain you Then they're all about bringing you down And treating you as this object that exists to serve them The more time you spend around them, the more your value goes down But as soon as you get away And you don't just get away, but you're confident in the direction that you're going in You feel satisfied with it You don't feel like you've left anything of value behind As soon as you've got that mindset Now they feel very jealous They feel like they're losing something They feel like something of value is getting away And now they've got to hunt you down They've got to pull you back in So this is what they do When you take off When you try to get away They will come after you Because you must be an incredible person You must hold a lot of value Otherwise, you wouldn't be watching my videos right now You wouldn't be watching these videos If you never meant anything to the narcissist Because they wouldn't have invested much of their time with you But that's what they do They invest a lot of time into Manipulating and love bombing you And then they invest a lot of time into the devaluation And then when you take off They invest a lot of time into trying to control you again But why invest all of your time into something That is not serving you or that is not good for you Or it's not benefiting you in some way Which of course that is how you know that they are lying to you They are manipulating you They are deceiving you They're not really about what they say they're about They're playing these mind games with you To try to erode your self-esteem To make you think that they are as good as it gets for you When in reality you can do a lot better than them And they know it And that is why they fear you trying to get away You trying to move on with your life without them That is why they fear that But I can tell you if you are in the process of taking off And you're moving on from the narcissist You are doing the right thing And that is something that you must continue to do Don't look back Don't think about what you've left behind What you have left behind is of no value And does not serve you And you should know that by now by how much time you have spent with them Because just look at it that when you're with them your value keeps going down And they're treating you differently They're not treating you right they're not treating you the way they were before So all of these things are affecting you And you're just losing everything about yourself to this person Who doesn't even value or appreciate you They just want to use you as this object that exists to serve them They just want you to be under their control Because they're very insecure and they have low self-esteem And that's all there really is to it That's really the nature the basis of the disorder It's that they are suffering from deep rooted insecurities low self-esteem And as a result they become very envious and jealous of you To where they desire to take from you They desire to deplete you Because otherwise they feel like something of value is getting away from them Well they're left and deep down they feel completely worthless So it hurts them it bothers them it irritates them They don't like it They've got to go out of their way to snatch you back To pull you back into their realm Because otherwise they're left to look at you and they feel completely insignificant in comparison So this is just how it is when you take off This is how it goes with the narcissist This is what they will do to you As you can see I've traveled up To the far north now of Vietnam in Hanoi So far not really the best experience in all honesty Just arrived at this hotel No parking provided I've stuck outside for about an hour Just waiting in the car The host refused to come outside To show me where the parking is So that was quite disappointing But overall I think I was being quite an average experience in Vietnam Compared to other countries I have seen a few good sights a few things that I enjoyed But overall I mean the roads are pretty hectic I see so many crashes every day Just bikes flying around everywhere A lot of noise with the lorries the car horns And yeah I mean overall not really that much of a satisfying experience But I'm still continuing with my travels up north now in Hanoi Still have hopes maybe it will improve Giving it a chance Being here a few weeks now I don't know if anyone else has been to Vietnam yet If you have let me know down in the live chat with the comments But yeah maybe it's just not really my scene I mean I have heard a few incidents With some of the people here as well One thing I've noticed is that they like to touch a lot Like wherever I go in Vietnam They're always touching me on my shoulder or my hands And even when you tell them that you don't like it It just makes them want to touch you even more So I think there is a lot of unresolved issues here in Vietnam There's a lot of things that don't really seem right It's probably not the safest place to be I mean I wouldn't really advise taking a holiday here myself This was really just somewhere I'm going on the way to somewhere else So it's not really somewhere where You know this had to be somewhere that I had to go It's just kind of a stop along the way But yeah I don't know if anyone here has been to Vietnam yet I mean I've had some positive experiences in other countries But here it's definitely a very different experience To be honest it just seems like people are not very happy here From what I've seen so far And it seems like it's something That doesn't really change depending on where you go I mean in other countries as you know I've been to Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Japan, South Korea And in other countries you know I travel around the entire country And you get a different vibe, a different feeling, a different atmosphere Depending on what part of the country you go to But in Vietnam it tends to be pretty much the same no matter where you go So you get the same vibe It just seems like quite an anti-social kind of place And I have read some articles online as well People saying it's not a very safe or friendly place There's a lot of things going on here And as you know as an empath I'm the kind of person that I typically go out with my way to help people So I've already ended up in a lot of situations Here of course with no resolve I mean that's just how it goes I really recommend those of you You're dealing with anyone dysfunctional or toxic You do need to set those boundaries and just not get involved Keep yourself out of it because these types of things There really is nothing that you can do You cannot fix toxic people The best thing you can do is take off And leave them behind Because the longer you stay around them the more your value goes down The more they begin to normalize the abuse They become more comfortable with treating you in that way It just gets worse it never gets better It will get better for you If you leave you move on Things will get a lot better But for them whether you stay or whether you go Things are just going to get progressively worse So at some point you've just got to decide to pull yourself out of dodge To try to avoid the risk of threat the risk of danger Because otherwise you're just going to get pulled into it as well and then it's going to affect you But of course it shouldn't be something that you want to deal with You need to stay away from that Remember my videos, remember what I advise you to do Protect yourself at all costs Do not get involved in anything That may be toxic harmful or negative to you You don't want to get caught up in any trouble Remember to use the grey rock Act dull and then interesting You have no use to narcissists toxic people You're no good to them You're good to them if you go the opposite way If you leave them alone That is the message that you want to send Act like you are a hindrance to them And then they'll run off to go and find some other supply Or keep you out of harm's way You can focus on your life what matters to you That is all that you need to do But yes, I'm just continuing with my travels Just traveling around Brent Hurley says, hope your time in Vietnam gets better I hope it does too I've been here for a few weeks already And I'm just hoping that I'll have more positive experiences That I can share with you On my YouTube and on my Instagram I always like to see the best in places But so far I can't lie, I mean it hasn't really been Much of a positive experience Especially in comparison to other places But again, I never really intended to To stop off here, it's kind of just Somewhere along the way Melissa Horton says, I can't wrap my head around The fact how much they use you up and they're so draining Yes, you have to understand that they do have a void They cannot generate their own feelings of happiness And contentment from within So they have this void that is constantly eating away at them And they have this inferiority complex They easily threaten, they feel inferior to you So it's all about scanning you For how you feel, what you have Any morsel of interest or happiness They've got to run in and feed off that Anything to fill the void But of course, as we know, they can never be satisfied They could run you into the ground and they would still be miserable You will never see them happy with anything You might get the illusion, the manipulation But they're always going to be miserable, they're always going to be dissatisfied They just kind of pull you into it Into the illusion, the fantasy It's where you don't even know who you are And it's like you don't even know who they are anymore Because they sell you this dream But the reality is that, yes, they do have a void Angie Green says, not a friendly place I wanted to believe that it is But having so many negative experiences I haven't seen it as a friendly place so far No, definitely I had a few hostile experiences Where I had to pull out of it, I had to step away Because of course I don't want anyone to get hurt I don't want to cause any trouble to anyone Even though a lot of times the trouble has been brought to me But as I said before, you don't want to get sucked into any conflict Just walk away, recognise your worth Your worth more than that And get involved with toxic Want what you vibe with As Ross Rosenberg, the psychologist has said I think he was referring to a quote as well But he said If you, no, he said don't wrestle with a pig The pigs like, no, you get dirty and besides the pig likes it So if you wrestle with the pig, the narcissist, they pull you into it Noxicity, they're enjoying it They feel comfortable laying in it But for you, you get dirty You feel bad about yourself, you self-loat While they're enjoying it at the same time Because they're comfortable with that So don't wrestle with the pigs Stay out of the mud Keep yourself clean Avoid any unfriendly people You should not vibe with that K&P says stalking a random stranger Is molestation at the highest level I agree with you there, K&P Stalking is a very serious crime It's a serious offence in every country in the world In the UK I believe it's an imprisonable offence for up to 14 years If you are convicted of stalking someone So yes, that is a very serious crime But as we know, it is something that narcissists engage in Because they lack an identity, they have no sense of self So they tend to attach to their targets They develop an obsession They end up stalking you So you do need to protect yourself By being aware of what they do But yes, as I said, it is a very serious offence It's not a life sentence in the UK But it is very serious I mean, up to 14 years That's longer than someone might serve for rape So it's not quite as bad as murder But it is still a very serious crime And anyone who engages in stalking They are mentally ill, they're disordered, they're deranged They may have the full blown narcissistic personality disorder They may be suffering from sociopathy, psychopathy Or another cluster B disorder But either way, yes, they are mentally ill They are suffering, they have some serious problem in their minds Because there is nothing normal about stalking Only they're deranged, they're sick, engaged in those types of behaviours Angie Green says Most worst nightmare is being in a foreign place and going to jail Yes, I would imagine that would be most people's worst nightmare Of course, when you're in another country, you need to stay out of trouble Stay out of harm's way Be good Respect the laws of other countries Of course, you're in a foreign place You must respect other people's rules But at the same time, you need to have your boundaries as well You need to respect yourself Respect yourself and other people will respect you As long as they're not mentally insane But yes, I can imagine that would be most people's worst nightmare But believe it or not, you might be surprised How many people are locked away overseas And many of them, they are in fact locked away for things, for crimes They didn't even commit So there is a lot of injustice in the world I mean, there's a large percentage of people Who are in prison for very serious crimes There could be sexual assault, rape, even murder And they didn't even commit the crime They're completely innocent And yet we've got narcissists out here on the street They're disrespecting people, breaking the laws every day The sad truth is That some of the most dangerous, immoral people Are actually the ones who are outside on the streets And they know how to maintain their toxic behaviors To prevent themselves from going to jail But if you look at them, I'm sure many of you who have dealt with narcissists Have they're so out of control emotionally You look at them And it's like they're really no different from something you might find in a jail cell They're like the exact same thing They have no self-respect No order They're just running around completely out of control Jasmine Johnson says, do not give what is holy to the dogs Nor cast your pills before swine Lest they trample them under their feet And turn and tear you in pieces I believe that is a quote from the Bible I'm not a practising Christian myself But I completely agree with that quote Yes, definitely Do not give what is holy to the dogs And do not cast your pills before swine If you put yourself in the wrong places Around the wrong people Of course, yes, they will disrespect you They will destroy you They will destroy you They may recognise your value But they don't know how to treat something of value Anything is anything to them Because they probably never had anything of value before So of course, they're not going to respect it And you have to respect yourself first Before you can respect another person And the opposite is true as well You cannot disrespect another person Before disrespecting yourself And putting yourself down And lowering your own worth Which of course, as we know, is something narcissists do all the time Because they are just despicable, contemptible people And in fact, they are the ones who are not worthy of your respect But that doesn't mean you go around disrespecting them You just stay away Do not get involved But yeah, I think we're all in agreeance We just You just got to stay out of trouble Stay away from these toxic negative people Anyone who means you know well And also be careful with stalkers Sometimes the danger The unpleasantness The foulness It follows you around And it's hard to get away from it You just got to keep it moving Recognize That you do not belong around that You're worth more You belong around better things Things that who do understand your value Just remember your past How you were raised How you were brought up I'm sure those of you who watched my videos You were raised In Maybe not a functional environment But it was always certain standards You had certain things A certain quality of life As someone said in the live chat earlier on You can't just cast your pills to the swine Yes, of course, they will trample on it They're not going to respect it Or appreciate it Because they were not raised in the same way that you were They don't know anything about that So remember that Remind yourself of it every day And you should feel uncomfortable When you are around the wrong people You should not feel good about that It should be weighing you down You should Desire to get away from it K&P says they can be empathetic Or they want They just have to admit that they are committing Murder covertly So we can give them a pass as honourable people Yes, narcissists They will lack empathy You have to remember again You are dealing with someone Who is meant to be ill They're not in the same state of mind And Also You have to be compassionate in some ways By recognising That a person Cannot give you something that they don't have If they haven't got empathy They've never received it They never felt loved By their parents or caretakers Their family Their community They felt unheard and seen Like they're not important They were never given any empathy Of course They're not going to have any empathy to give to you So again That is something to remember as well And to be Not to involve yourself with them But to be compassionate From afar Because you have to put yourself in their shoes If you do have empathy And recognise What it must have been like for them To be brought up In an environment Where there was no empathy coming in So it's like Imagine you're hanging off a cliff You're constantly in survival Maybe your legs blown off You've got one leg missing How are you supposed to care about anyone else How can you have empathy for them And of course They may not have these physical ailments But that's what it's like for them in the mind Mentally So they haven't got the capacity To show any empathy for you So that is something to remember as well But again at the same time It is a choice They could hold back if they wanted to That's typically what a lot of them do Who They focus so much on their image They might go to work Someone might Do something they don't like It might anger them But they'll hold it off They won't confront it They will manage their emotions Until they get home And then they might go and beat their children Or their wife So yes they can hold it in If they want to It is a conscious choice For them to unload it on you So there are two sides To the coin Things to remember But yes that's it For today And I hope it was helpful for you If it was You can show your support down below By giving this video a thumbs up Let me know your thoughts in the comments as well Share and subscribe And as always I'll talk to you In another one very soon