 Today, we are looking at constructing and editing a paragraph. Now last week, you wrote a paragraph on Nim's Island and you got a photo and we looked at the colour and everything like that and you wrote a paragraph for that photo, for that visual representation. Today we're going to have a look at what you've written, we're going to check it and we're going to edit it. Chris, we do use verb groups. What real, when we look at a piece of writing, what should a narrative have in it? It should have. Good, it also should have, you know it, I know you know it, let's go. Maya, it should have yes, it should have a resolution, it should have characters. Oh yes, you need characters for a narrative or else it's going to be a totally different text. So let's check this paragraph. Now last week we talked about the things that we would check. We need to check who, what, when, where and why. Who is in the visual representation and does the paragraph say that? Maddie, great, what is happening? Thomas? Yeah? I'm Jack, come back. Okay, where, where or sorry, where is it happening? Fronte? On the beach. On the beach. That's it. Where is it happening? Annie? Okay, so yes, it does answer those things. So we're good so far. What did you start with? After the storm. Okay, after the storm. Nim, Selkie and Fred lay on Nim's favourite blanket. Now can we make after the storm, can we add something extra in there to make it better? Yeah. What could we add? Three days after the storm. Yes. Could we, what about descriptive language that describes the storm? Three days after the terrifying storm. Great. So you can add that in and that adds a little bit more emotion to your sentence. Plus it gives the reader a little bit more detail. Nim, Selkie and Fred lay on Nim's favourite blanket, watching the orange sun go down. Okay, what do we need at the start of our sentences? A tapestry. Great. Okay, can we make in the afternoon, can we add another descriptive word before afternoon to make it better? Late in the afternoon. In the late afternoon, very good. So that's late afternoon, what are we thinking, how do we think the sun and the sky would look in the late afternoon? Put some orange in? Yeah, so giving that extra detail, you're giving your reader a bit more of a picture. Okay, in the late afternoon, Fred lay on Nim's favourite brown blanket, watching the orange sun go down. Now let's have a look and see if we can find a verb in that sentence. Can we add almost like, so far? So we could maybe take off the comma and then add as in between those two and then maybe see something like that or something. Okay, so this sand was extremely cold. Now, when we, so you've got to add in a... Maybe like, add in something to make that sentence link with that sentence. So you want to link those sentences? Yes. Or do you want to add more detail onto this sentence to make it better? So the sand was extremely cold. Why? So remember, when we're writing, we're always making sure we're adding why. Yeah, the sand was extremely cold as the rain started to add up on the sand. Okay, yeah, we need to keep, we need to make sure that it all makes sense. Okay, because you're talking about after the storm, you're talking about happily and then you're talking about extremely cold. Why would it get, why would the sand get extremely cold? I'm the wind's picking up. Okay, yep. And then that links with the waves crash down on the cold sand.