 Hello, you guys, is the line okay where I'm sitting? I used to really crummy color lipstick. Anybody who is coming in later, I'm not starting off with like a really positive, motivational, we can do this attitude. I'm coming in here to validate everything Molly said on her video. So if you haven't already seen Molly classically Molly's video from today, watch it after you watch mine, or just watch hers because I'm basically going to hello Susan. I'm basically going to echo everything she said. I'm going to get into some real, look it, I have two thumbs up you guys. I'm only a minute in and I have two thumbs up, that is so swell. Hello Lucinda, does something hang out in my nose? Every time I come on I swear I feel I have something coming out of my nose. Hi Judith, Patricia, Esther, oh good I need the support you guys and I'm going to get into some stuff that would make me cry but I purposely went in and put on some non-waterproof mascara and I'm not going to cry but we need to get down to brass tacks. I need to get down to brass tacks and whenever I need to get there I have to haul you guys in whether you like it or not. I have to send out my Dr. Bombay. Do you have your water? Hi Lisa, who else did I miss? Oh hi Tracy! I have to do the Dr. Bombay because we're there, we've reached the point and I need to talk it out and I need support from you guys. Everything's fine, nobody's sick, everybody's well, my winning ring, I haven't gotten fixed yet so I'm still wearing this one. I'm kind of in denial on that because I don't think I'll be able to get it on when I do get fixed. I'm going to give you guys a chance to get your water. I hope everybody's doing well. In California we're still pretty shut down and it has shut me down and that's what we need. I need to talk, I need to talk myself out of this. I need you guys to grab my hand and pull me out of this and I need to get out of this because I have reached that pivotal point where I'm just going to start talking now about what's going on. Where to start? Where to start? I was watching Molly and listening to Molly and then I took her in the bathroom room with me while I got in. I'm sorry Esther, I'm so sorry. I took her in the bathroom to listen to her before I got in the shower and then I got in the shower and I got out of the shower and then I turned her back on. Good job, Susan, that's great. I have not been drinking any water but I'll get to that. So I got out to the shower and dried my hair and I turned her on and off when I could listen to her when I couldn't. And she basically in different turns in different areas, that's what I want to smile, Esther, and I want to make you guys smile when I need to get back. She said a couple of things that resonated with me. Resonated with me so much. But first of all, let me tell you that before I got in the shower, Sam's clothing I got on the scale and I cannot go up anymore. I have to stop. I've got to stop living in denial that my weight just keeps going up. I have to stop and I have to do something about it and I know what those things are that I have to do and I haven't done any of it. I only grabbed my, I'm all honesty here folks. I'm always honest with you guys but you know what? I haven't drank my, the only reason I grabbed my water was because I knew I was going to come on here and ask you guys if you have your water. I haven't had any water today. What time is it? Quarter after one. I've had, I had, I could take that back. I had one little bottle and I got on that scale and it's, it's not good. And then something popped in my head. Now you guys, I don't, I'm not, I know it's hard to tell how big we really are on videos because like sometimes I think somebody's a certain size and then I find out they're not and I'm not a humongous person but I weigh way too much for my body. I've had to buy new shirts. Want to see this new shirt? This one's a good one, isn't it? I've got some, I've picked out some really good ones. So when I do drop all my weight, hi Cheryl. I'm going to have to find somebody my size to give all these shirts to. All right. So then I got on the scale and it was alarming. It was alarming. I'm two pounds shy of how much I weighed when I joined Weight Watchers. And you might say, well, maybe that's not so bad. At least you're not as big as you were. I went, well, you know, no, I'm not moving. I know I'm talking slow because I'm trying to be careful what I say. And I want to, I'm not moving. Thanks, Judith. I like it too. This is the first time I've worn it. I wore a whole bunch of Disney Mickey shirts. Watched them all and now they're all ready to go. So I have something to wear. Hi, Tony. And when I do move, it's painful. I can barely go up and down my stairs. Now in one of a virtual WW meeting I went to, it was a couple of weeks ago. I don't even remember what the exact topic was because it wasn't moving. But they said, how many times a day are you saying to somebody, hey, would you go get me a glass of water? Hey, would you walk the dog for me? Hey, would you go get the mail? I'll stuff that we could be doing ourselves. And I am totally doing that. I am sending Oliver to the garage to get something when I need it in the kitchen. I'm sending him to walk Kitty because it hurts for me to move. And this has to stop now. OK, I remember what I started to say. There was a while back, I think it was like about a year ago, when I watched a few 200 or 600 pound life. Is that what it was called, you guys? And the common denominator in every single show that just had me gobsmacked. Because there I was all my weight lost, right? I could sit, I could judge. I could be like, look at these people. What the heck is going on? What the heck is going on with them? They don't have any self-control? Why aren't they like me, right? The main common denominator that always kind of stuck in the back of my mind is them all saying, how did I let myself get to this spot? How did I let that happen? And there I am sitting on my couch, which by the way, I'm making a new hole in the new couch. The spring squeak, I sit there so much when I move. When I get up and down, the two times did I get up and down? But they always say it, how did I let myself get to this area? Get this big, how did I let this happen? And I'm like, yeah, lady, how did you let that happen? And now I'm hearing it in my head and it's only up to me. And I've got another thing Molly was talking about. I'm all over the place. You guys will have to apologize because my head's all over the place. Molly was saying all the things she had done today, whatever day she taped it. She went to the store. She went to Target. She's doing her cookies. And I thought, what have I done today? Nothing. I've taken a shower. Have I unloaded the dishwasher? Have I loaded the dishwasher? Have I made any beds? Have I done any laundry? I'll share. I'll thank you. It's only because you know why? Because I had to do something because I'm sitting there watching Molly do all this stuff. I'm not a conditioner. I need to get some good conditioner for gray hair. So it's not so crazy. It's so very, very frizzy. And so anyways, Molly's talking about all the stuff she's doing. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I would really like to go get my car washed too. I need to go get my car washed. And when it comes to anything, you guys, I have all the, I want to do it. I want to do it. I want to do it. And I don't talk myself out of it. I'm not allowed to leave the house. I can't go to the car wash. It wouldn't be safe. And then this part of me is going, but your numbers are down where you live, Nita. Yeah, but you haven't stayed in the house for a year and you're not mentally completely incapacitated because of that year you've had to stay in the house, only to take the chance to go outside and have your car washed and get sick. Now I know none of it is logical thinking, but I can't, I can't get past getting out the front door. I can't. Hence no movement. And then the other worst things too is all I've had to eat today is a sumo orange because I have no appetite. So I thought I need to face, instead of talking into the mirror and talking in my head. Yeah, Esther, you know what, ours may be two, but I could go through the drive-thru one. Mine could probably are too. And you know what? That's what I have to remind myself too is Molly's in the land of the open. Florida's open. Everybody in Florida is just out and about laughing, scratching, doing the thing, going to Epcot, going to, you know, doing everything. And it's different here, but I have got to start moving and I've got to start drinking my water and I've got to put my wine down and I've got to do all the stuff, but I don't know how to stop and start. I don't know how to do it. And I know there's nothing that you guys can tell me that I don't know because I know. But what do I do? Do I take a picture of the scale number and slap it up in my cupboards in my kitchen? Doesn't matter because like I said, it's not food for me. It's my lack there of having any motivation or any, I don't know. All right, you just order. I had to order all my clothes online because we can't buy them there. Let me say hi to you guys. Hi, Susan. Marjorie says, hi, Nadia. You're a beautiful bin where you are. I can't do this anymore twice. I'm not where I want, but I now plan track a turtle in white loss, but at peace because I'm doing my best. And Marjorie, that is awesome that you said that because I'm lacking peace. I have no peace. Thank you, Esther. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad all you guys are here. And if anybody's tuning in later and going, why is this lady on the internet crying? It's because I need my friends who are also out here experiencing what I'm experiencing and people who understand what I'm going through right now. Because like it's so easy to just sit on the couch and go because this is this is my mindset. Wait now, Nadia. Just wait till the pandemic's over because you're going to have to stay put anyway. So why? Who cares, right? Then it's going to keep creeping up, up, up. Disneyland's going to open and I'm not going to be able to walk it. And what did I talk about last time I came out here? I'm going to get ready and I'm going to move. So that when Disneyland's over, I can spend the whole day there from the minute though up until the minute they close, which won't be like the old days. Sorry, I keep playing with my hair, you guys. At least I'm not touching my face. I have never ever felt in my life the way I feel right now. I have never felt so unpeaceful. I have no peace in me. I have laziness. I have no motivation. But if I don't do something, I'm going to be so incredibly unhealthy. And then I just got to do something. So I had to come on here and talk to people who understand. I sit and I talk to Steve every night and he listens and he's careful what he says, but he always says something to say, but he doesn't understand because he's never been overweight. And only people who have been overweight truly understand. I believe, you know, I can't talk to a thin person who's never had to worry about their weight before about this. And I often ask myself, too, why am I having so much trouble? I'm not the only one in this world that's on lockdown. Nita, you're not the only person. You're not special. Why, you know, I'm sorry that I jumped in your head due to because I don't want anybody to feel the way I'm feeling right now. And Marjorie, you're so right again because, you know, I think about advice I gave in my old videos when I was doing really well and I'm so happy. And I would say, and those of you guys have followed me from the beginning, I would always say to anybody who's just joining, just walk up your driveway and back. You don't have to go to the park and walk four rounds, right? I would, if I would only take my own advice, maybe I could, right now I must, and I mean must, get seven pounds off of my body. It's, it's, there's no ifs, ands, or buts. Lucinda says, I am 11 miles from town with snow melting and a day, child care day off. Suzanne says, the struggle is real. And yes, they do not understand. Do not lie to anyone. Jim, you're lying to Nita. Thank you, Suzanne. So sweet always, Suzanne. I'm the only one dimming my light. I am doing myself in. That's it. That's all there is to it. I can either choose, you know, to stand up out of this chair after I'm done laughing and scratching with you, Swills, because we're going to get on another subject and end this video with some smiles here and there, hopefully. And either get on my treadmill, which have I been on it in two weeks? That would be a big fat no. Why get on my treadmill? And I can just sit in my chair and watch my own movies and be happy. You know, they're, you know, Tracy, I see NSV and then I'm going to, I'm going to come back and read your whole thing. The only NSV for me is that I don't, I may sit on my happy ass and watch TV all day, but I don't eat while I'm doing it. All right, Tracy, your whole thought was when as an SV at time, write it down so you can read it every day and then do another NSV. I know you can do it. Thank you. Nothing happened to Amy. Weight gain has happened. Weight gain in this season of lockdown is what has happened. And I have, I have let it go too far. And so I had to get on here and chat with my chums who understand. Well, I mean, Judith, that's okay, fair enough, fair enough question. Maybe I should rephrase it this way. I cannot, cannot go past where I am because there's a seven, there's a seven pound pivotal amount of weight between where I can live with myself and where I can't and where I'm at now, I can't live with myself. Thank you, Cheryl. Exactly, Esther. It's like, why bother? You know, for me, it's like 98% at the time and then 2% that I'm having right now. I wish I could, you know, I think it was you, Esther. No, it was Barbara who said, Nina, take us, go walk in with you. I couldn't even do that, you guys, because I have gained so much weight that I breathed too heavy to be able to talk and walk at you guys at the same time. Amy says in a little time, I'm in, we just opened on February 16th and have a severe spread of COVID. And, you know, and that's the thing. Sorry guys, I got to scratch my nose. I apologize. Really trying to get over doing that, but I can still walk. It is Amy. We've been through it like three times here, too. So, Steve offered on Saturday, a Friday night, he said, hey, tomorrow, he didn't say, hey, tomorrow, because I don't think Steve's ever said, hey, anything. I love my husband, but he lacks enthusiasm. He said, why don't we drive down to, hold on, I got to get coming next. Tomorrow, here's my whole shirt. Sorry, my, and that's so cute, you guys. He said, tomorrow, I'm going to take you down to the beach and we're going to go to the harbor and we'll go to Andrea's and we're going to get some halibut, because halibut's my favorite fish. I can eat it every night. And then we'll go sit on the sand and you can put your feet in the water, which is the perfect thing for me when I'm feeling the way I feel. But boy, I came up with an excuse really quick on Saturday for not going. Thank you, Judith. Thank you, Marjorie. I like it too. And you know what's so funny? When you're ordering shirts and clothes and online, you never know if they're going to fit, because one company's large or extra large is 20 times too big. So, as far as I know, I doubt it's open, but it's here. But every time he offers to help me and get me out, the reason not to. So, maybe if I came on here and I talked out loud about it, I had to get it out of my brain and talk out loud about it so that I can clear up some real estate up here, because I'll tell you guys what. I feel like I have Whoville in my head. I feel like there's a million little people with a million things going on. And I just had to talk and get it out. The kids are starting full-time school this week. Wow. Healthy and sassy, Esther. You're healthy and that's all that matters. That's awesome. See, I have a whole different why now. My why has completely changed. My why before was because why not, right? Why not lose some weight? Look a little cuter? Feel a little bit better, but it was mainly just for vanity purposes. Now, it's a half-two thing. I've looked at some of my old videos. I've looked at my memories on my Facebook pop-up and we're at Disneyland and my face is three times smaller. And but it's basically the movement. It's the movement. So I appreciate those of you guys who hung out. Look at the 13 thumbs up. Thank you so very much. Thanks, you guys. Speaking of Washington, my son bought a house in Washington. I can't wait for the day when I can scream road trip and get in my car and go see his beautiful little sweet house. I don't even know that it's little. It might be bigger than mine. But that happy day when your children are doing so well, which they are. So let's talk about some happy stuff. Both of my children are thriving. Chelsea's like out of the world doing better than ever. She's just like killing it. Christophe, where he's working on his new house, they're putting stuff in and making it their own. And I need to work on my house. I need to do laundry. I need to clean. I need to do it all. So that's all the good news. And nothing else. Oliver's in his room doing school. I can't, you know, that'll be the biggest help. See, here I go. Now this is going to sound like one of my excuses, but it's not. It's the truth. When he goes back to school, that'll be so helpful because that'll get my routine back. I'll have to get up. I'll have to take him to school. I'll have to walk with him. I'll have to make his lunches. Right now, the way it is, I don't have to do anything. Esther wants a plane trip, send graduation from college, and not bad for her micro, creamy, born at 28 weeks. That's fantastic. So yeah, maybe it's a beautiful day outside. Maybe what I'll do is go to the drive-thru car wash on the way back, stop at the park and walk one round, and then at least come home. That is fabulous Esther. I wish you could be here with them, for them, and them for you and you for them. We've got Easter coming up, right? Even though we don't kind of really celebrate Easter. It's not really kind of dope. We did when Oliver was smaller. And when I had kids, but did anybody ever really think it was going to be this long? Because I never in a million years. But I also want to thank Molly. I want to thank Molly for getting on before me and talking her truth and talking about what her roadblocks are, and giving me that nudge, knowing that I had to do the same thing. Because when I do this, as much of a drag as it is for you guys to listen, unless somebody is in the same boat and understands, it does help for me to talk it out and get it out. Awesome. So I appreciate you guys listening, that dude listen. And I do thank Molly. I just love her to death. I just love her to death. I keep teasing her, because we have a little PM where we sit and chat, and I keep telling her, the first thing I can do when I get out of here is I'm going to get on a plane, and I'm going to come and you're going to take me to Disney World and show me all the stuff. Now, I could go now, but I can't go now. I can't even get my happy ass out the front door to walk around the block. I think I can go to Disney World. That's kind of priceless. So I need to get moving. That's it. That's the first thing. I need to put some signs on my cupboards in there, because when I was like really, really active, I did have signs in there that helped. Oh, Patricia, I'm already grateful he's in my life. Hi, Mel. Hi, sweetheart. How are you? Tell me something good. Damn, something good. What's happening? I see that you have a video up. I just haven't watched any videos. It's nothing personal. You know what it is? I can't be reminded how crappy I'm doing by watching you guys who are doing good. Everything. I'm tracking it. No, Mel, don't say that. That's not true, because I know you and you say that, but really things are okay. You're doing okay. Why? Were you exposed? I guess I should get on and watch your video, huh? I just, I, I'm all like, girl, I've been talking about you where your ear is burning. I owe you a huge thank you because you got me on here today. Oh no, Mel, I'm so sorry. Just stay home. Don't go anywhere. Stay in isolation. Two weeks is nothing, sister. You've got this for two weeks. It's not that old, because maybe I just haven't been on. I'm telling you, all I've been doing is watching old movies, 40s and 50s movies where everybody met one day and then they went and got married the next. And then the next day, they went to Reno and I got divorced. Just different plot themes. Oh honey, was it you or was it the hubs or do you not want to say? Or oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I saw Molly, this whole video, I've been talking about you and how your video today is what got me on here. Oh, okay, me. So Molly, I owe you a big thank you and if you missed the beginning, I'll explain. Everything you said in your video today echoed everything I'm feeling. Only we have different roadblocks, but otherwise, so over myself, so sick of myself. When you said that, I was like, oh my gosh. Everything you said was just on point. Doing it again. I've been on here a million times. I'm doing everything you said, so I owe you a thank you and also I got my water. I haven't been drinking my water. Totally. That's why the title has your name in it, doesn't it? Didn't I put your name in the title? But when you have a chance, like when you're scrubbing the dishes or loading the dishwasher, just listen to the beginning because you are what inspired me to get on here. And I don't want to repeat all the bad news. I was listening to you when I was getting in the shower and then I got in the shower and I got on the scale and then I finished you after the shower. Oh, Mel. I'm sorry. Just stay home. Don't do anything. Don't go anywhere. And two weeks, you can write it out. Don't have your popcorn. Have all your good stuff if you're one who I think you like snacking when you watch TV, if I remember correctly. Just make sure you have the good stuff. I'm sorry, honey. Just as long as you won't get sick. Good. I cannot even imagine Marjorie. I cannot even imagine. I am so sorry to hear that. I had shingles once and I do remember it as being one of the most painful afflictions to have. Hi, Joanie. Hi, Rosie. How goes it? How's Trix? Whenever I say that to anybody younger, they're like, huh, Trix? What? How's Trix? What, Mel? Thank you. I miss making my videos because they bring me so much joy. I used to love making my videos and I'll get back there. I'm so glad you're better now. So much. I can't imagine all that. Oh, my gosh. You're a superhero. What did they say? Oh, super. It goes effort. Joanie. You have no idea. And I probably do. I mean, you guys can see me, right? She is a rock star to go through all that at one time. If anybody is like me and they're struggling with what's going on and they feel less than because others aren't struggling, we have to just get over that. That's one thing I need to get over. Because that's just ridiculous. Other are doing well because they're following their program and they're doing their thing and they're getting out and walking and they're washing their cars and they're going to Walt Disney World. If I do some of those things, it would behoove me but I'm not doing it. So that's all on me. And that's the things I wake up every morning and I have the same self conversation. You know what to do? I need to just get up and do it. Okay. And I make as far as the couch when I sit on my springy couch and I put on an all-in-the-movie. And there I am doing it just like a champ. I need to eat more though. I need to work on... I was... You know, Molly, when you were talking about meal planning, I was thinking I should try that for once just so that I'll eat because if I have a meal plan then I have to follow it and then I have to eat, right? But I just don't feel like eating. I know, Joni. Rosie! I don't quite know how to take it. Then, honey, it's kidding. You know what? Here's the thing. I could... I'm not a big plan maker. I don't write. Somebody mentioned writing down NSBs. I don't write. I don't write. So I don't have planners. I don't have... And I have to start out small. Right now the best plan I can make is to start moving more and start going down my driveway or run my roundabout a few times and start there. But I've just never been a planner, a goal maker. And that sounds like an excuse, but it's not. I have to start small. I've got to get back down there. I have to have the wherewithal and the motivation to make a plan. All right, Mel. You know what? I have to do mine too. And I want to get outside and I want to go to the car wash. So I'm probably going to do the same thing as you. I got to get out. Steve's clothes all clean because he woke up this morning and I heard him slamming some drawers. Like, maybe all his work shirts weren't clean. Because I'm so busy watching people get married and good night, Esther. Thanks for popping in. And thanks for understanding and thanks for your words and your time. I appreciate it. I really do appreciate it. I think I'll do that one time. All work gets out of school in 15 minutes. So I think that's what we'll do. I think I'll put on... I have pajama shorts on. I think I'll put on some regular shorts. So many great walking. Or we're going to do some online at least. I can do that every day. Good for you, Joni. My hats... I tip my hat to you. Because I put them on and I do them for five minutes and I just can't stand them and I turn it off. Or I get on my treadmill and I know I'm not alone Rosie and that's why I hopped on here today because I had to talk to people who relate. So maybe I'll go to... Has anybody been to a virtual meeting this week? What's the topic? Anybody? Class? Euler? Anybody? Maybe I'll tune into one of those on my treadmill. Get outside though. Maybe I'll listen to it on my earbuds. Thank you, Marjorie. I appreciate that. I appreciate you ladies very much. Yes, I do. Tracy and it's all charged up and ready to go. And that's probably not a bad idea. That's actually a really good idea. Ah, Susan. I hope not. There are... You know, I hope. I'm really, really sincerely hope nobody's feeling as crummy as I am. Can I stream on my treadmill? You mean talk to you guys? No, because I wouldn't be able to breathe and talk at the same time. I need to go outside is what I need. I need to get outside. That's what I need. Yeah, no, because I wouldn't be able to talk and walk at the same time. So what I think I'm going to do here is the plan. I'm going to put on some shorts because the weather here is beautiful. So I'm going to put on some shorts and I'm going to put on my tennis shoes and I'm going to tell Oliver that we're going to the car wash and then on the way back, we'll stop at the park. But I'm not going to tell him that park because then he'll kick and scream. And I'll get some steps in and then we'll go from there. How's that sound? If you think that's a good idea, give me a thumbs up. Virtual planning to have food ready for when you are over hungry or off truck. I'm never over hungry. I'm not hungry at all. And I, but my, thanks, Ma. It's a disaster. It's got like red bull cans all over the floorboards. It's got pharmacy bags and just crap. And Steve's always like, I'm going to go gas up your car for you. And I'm like, no, no, don't. I don't need my car gas tip. I never go anywhere. I just don't want to see how messy it is. I would rather be Marianne too, Johnny. I'd rather be Marianne the ginger. I'm having some Mrs. Howell's money, but. All right, you guys, I'm going to go put this plan into motion. Molly, like I said, when you get a chance, watch the beginning. You can watch me play with my hair and think I have things coming out my nose. Thank you, Patricia. And I didn't, I, I need to get over myself. Like Molly said, I have my mobile for sure. Just cleaned it up when I got a car wash yesterday. So that was yesterday that you shot that video. Over myself was like, it just resonated. Ding, ding, ding, ding. She's reading my mind. I love her and she's reading my mind. Okay, so that's the plan. We're going to do that. And I promise, this is a promise. The next time I'm feeling really good, or at least better than I am right now, or I have something to report, like I've been walking. We'll look at my garment. I'm going to come on here and we'll have a happy video. But today's video was purely for selfish reasons. I need to call in my clan and talk it out. You guys can all send me therapy, Bill. Thank you, Joni. Joni, I can't tell you how good it is to see you. There's so many of you guys that I haven't seen in so long. And it's just so, it does my heart good. My Mickey heart. Molly, did you see my shirt? Isn't that the cutest thing in the world? I got a whole bunch of new shirts. I got to start off small, Susan. I can't, if I get into anything too big. Look it. See how my thumb is cramped right now and I can't move it? That keeps happening with my hands and my feet. I can't move my thumb right now. It's stuck there. And I do take magnesium. All right. Love you guys. I'm going to grab this child. We're going to go to the car wash. We're going to walk at the park. I love you guys for listening and understanding. And I do promise a happy video next time. Drink your water. Know where your bathrooms are. Oh, let's try to link home when I-