 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesleeve! Gildesleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. And tonight Kraft, makers and importers of the world's favorite cheese, wants to tell you about a real triumph of cheese making. It's Kraft Natural Swiss Cheese, already sliced and sealed by Kraft for your convenience. Natural Swiss cheese is the kind with the holes. And Kraft Natural Swiss Cheese has what we call heart of the cheese goodness all through. We're sure this delicious cheese and handy packages will become one of your favorite foods. Try it soon, Kraft Natural Swiss Cheese. When a girl is school principal in a town the size of summer field, there aren't many eligible escorts she can depend on. So perhaps I should count Rock Morton P. Gildesleeve, the local water commissioner, a blessing. And I would, except it's getting so I can't even depend on him. I know he's late again. There he is. Well, he can just wait until I powder my nose for the third time. All right, all right, I'm coming. Oh, Irene. Well, hello. Come in, Rock Morton. Yeah, thank you. You widened chances of the door. You kept me waiting, standing out there in the cold. You don't know how close you are being out in the cold. Hey, what's that? Do you realize you're a half hour late? Well, I was downtown and wanted to phone you. So? I stopped at the corner phone booth, but I didn't have a dime. I didn't want to lose the booth, so I gave a fellow 50 cents to get me some change and he never came back. Rock Morton, you're so gullible. Yeah, I should have been suspicious when he stopped and asked me for a cup of coffee. Oh, good heaven. But I'm here at long last. You may not last long. What about last night? I had to work late at the office. Yeah, I just forgot to call you. Yeah, I know it was a terrible thing to do. I get it. After water, I come first. No, I... And last Monday you said you were going to pick me up promptly at 4.30. I passed up three rides and finally had to walk. Sorry, but I thought I'd explained. I was helping a little old lady home with her packages. Where did she live? Cheyenne, Wyoming? I mean, it'll never happen again. I promise. If it does, it'll be the last time. Yeah, I... Don't grin at me, you big moose. Well, better late than never. A moose in your parlor is worth two in the bush. I'll have you know, I don't have to beat the bushes for dates. Clarence Olson has been calling me every day for weeks. You're that pushy intern. Every time I turn my back, he's ringing your doorbell. He's a very nice man. And you'd better watch it, or I'll give a certain city official back to the city. Yeah, I mean, you're not pretty when you pout. You smile now. Be your gorgeous self. You aren't going to talk me out of my nasty mood. I've been working on it. You will. One more fence and we're through. Caput, finished. Yeah, I get the idea. I never keep you waiting. Well, let's get on to the movie. Wait till I fix my hair and change my purse. Oh, my goodness. I mean, it was pretty cool to me last night. But I enjoyed it all after watching it from now on. See, look at those fancy compacts in Phoebe's window. I think I'll buy one of those and take it to Irene as a peace offering tonight. Hello, Phoebe. Hello, Mr. Jonas. What can I do for you today? Phoebe, are those good compacts in your window? Well, they're good in compact. Well, I can use one of those. Therefore, lay these, Mr. Gillers-Leven. I know. The compacts contain powder, rouge, and a mirror. I'm sure you're doing a look in the mirror. All right, Phoebe. If you're interested in improving your appearance, I have an eyebrow pencil for your mustache. Or a pair of scissors if you care to get rid of it. I'm not interested in improving my appearance. You know, everybody to his own taste, said the old lady, she kissed a cow. I just came in here to buy a compact for Ms. Henshaw. Where on earth? She's been a little upset with me for keeping her waiting when we have a date. Must be something in the air. You know, Mrs. Phoebe and I had a little tip. Who? Maybe I should take her a gift. We'll take her a compact, Phoebe. This is a real feud. I'm not interested. What's the matter with you and Mrs. Phoebe? It's not even a matter of me. It's Mrs. Phoebe. It's nothing to laugh at. We're getting a new parrot. I thought you had a parrot. We have, but Mrs. Phoebe thought it needed a companion because it looked so sad. You know, I see. I told her when we bought it, it was a sad-looking parrot. You don't want another one in the house. Well, it isn't that. But Mrs. Phoebe wants to name it after one of our relatives. I told her we had enough fun looking visitors from her side of the family without getting one with feathers. You told her that? Not considered it quite amusing. But she didn't. Then we got into personalities and I put my foot down. What'd she do? She put hers down on top of it. And then one word led to another. What else did you say? Well, we got in one word and then I'd live out for the pharmacy. That's too bad, Phoebe. First thing in all, you and Mrs. Phoebe won't be speaking. We're hardly speaking now. Oh, my goodness. I'd like to get things smoothed out, but I'm not going to be the first to make the move. But will you be kind enough to answer the phone, Mr. Gillespie? Me? This is your drugstore, Phoebe. Yeah, but I think that's Mrs. Phoebe on the other end. She might just want to hang up on me again. Does she do that? Twice this morning. Well, I'll talk to her and fix up everything. Don't you try to fix anything, Mr. Gillespie. Just answer the phone. I know what I'm doing, Phoebe. Hello, Phoebe's pharmacy. Hello, Mrs. Phoebe. Now, don't hang up. This is Commissioner Gillespie. Yes, he's here, but I'd like to talk to you as a friend. I'm sorry to hear you and Phoebe have a slight misunderstanding. You're all right. Big misunderstanding. But my suggestion is but but but not a Budinsky. She hung up on me. Man, you sure fix things. No, Phoebe, I was only trying to iron out your problems. Well, you iron out your own problems and I'll iron out mine, Budinsky. Hey. How do I get into these things? Sorry. It's been time to shoot baskets. Want to pass me the ball so I can shoot one? I told you I have a dinner date. It hasn't even gone down. Well, it'll never come up again for me if I'm late at Irene's. Miss Hensh, I'll read the write-off to you, huh? Well, I just don't dare be late again. Don't! Yes, I just took the spark out of it. Well, I'll go put it on. Mrs. Gillespie, if you put it on now, you'll smell like a gas station. Oh? Yes, sir. I'll have to take that chance, Birdie. I can't be late at Irene's. She's already upset with me about past performances. Yes, sir. As soon as you've just taken out the dinner, you've got a lot of time. Yes, but I've been doing some thinking. I better drop by Mr. Peevie's house. Is Peevie sick? No. He and Mrs. Peevie had a little spat and maybe I made it worse when I talked to Mrs. Peevie over the phone. Yes. So I think I'll run by on my way to Irene's and straighten it out. Mrs. Squabble. This doesn't concern you, Leroy. Who does it concern? The family concerned. When I saw him this morning, Birdie, he said he left the house in a huff. Yes. Who left the house in a huff? Leroy, I'm talking to Birdie. Well, talk to me. Who left in a huff? Stop interrupting me. Anyway, Birdie, when I was there, the phone rang. Whose phone? Never mind. I'm trying to straighten out an argument that started with two parrots. Now, excuse me. I have to go put on my blue shirt. I have plenty of time to talk to Mrs. Peevie and talk her out of her little feud with Peevie. I'll park here in the alley. She sees my car. She may not let me in. Maybe I shouldn't even go to the door. The outside basement door is open. Why don't I go down and pretend I'm inspecting the hot water heater? As you hear me, come down to see what's going on, and I can casually bring up the subject. You're a sly, you'll just leave. Dark down here. Duffy, too. Smells like gasoline. Oh, that's my suit. I must be close to the coal bin. Hey, I'm in it. I'm going to a lot of trouble, but Peevie's a good friend, and I feel a little obligated to get them on good terms again. What's that? Oh, Mrs. Peevie's coming outside. I've attracted her attention already. I wish I knew where the light switch is, so it looked like I'm busy with the hot water heater. What's going on? She closed the basement door. She locked me in. Where's she going? Mrs. Peevie! Mrs. Peevie! She's getting in her car. She's driving away. The date with the coal bin. The Great Gildus Leave will be back in just a minute. The world's happiest hostess is the hostess with no snack problems. She's the hostess who knows exactly what she's going to serve and how. And what she serves for that snack might well be Kraft natural Swiss cheese with crackers and her guest's favorite beverages. Kraft natural Swiss cheese is a delicious treat. What's more, this natural Swiss cheese comes already sliced and sealed by Kraft, so it's quick and easy to serve. Natural Swiss cheese is that old favorite kind with a hold, you know. And now Kraft brings you natural Swiss cheese with exceptional goodness. Heart of the cheese goodness all through it. What does that mean? Well, in wheels of natural Swiss, the cheese at the center or heart of the wheel has a better flavor and finer texture than the cheese at the outside edges of the wheel. But Kraft natural Swiss has this perfect nut-sweet flavor and fine, tender texture all the way through it. Kraft natural Swiss cheese has heart of the cheese goodness in every bite. This fine-chasting cheese comes sliced and sealed by Kraft, sealed airtight in handy half-pound packages, so there are never any dried edges. And Kraft natural Swiss has no rind, so there's no waste. Make it a habit to keep a package or two of this exceptionally good natural Swiss cheese on hand for all kinds of snacks. Enjoy it in sandwiches and surprise the folks at dinner some night soon and serve it with fruit or dessert. Get Kraft natural Swiss cheese with heart of the cheese goodness all through for your eating pleasure, sliced and sealed by Kraft for your convenience. Well, where is that Brock Morton? Oh, he's late again. I thought I made it clear to that man the next time would be the last time. Let me at the phone. I'll spell it out in such simple, stark terms it'll get through to even his brain, wherever he hides it. Mr. Gildersleeve residence. Birdie, this is Ms. Henshaw. Oh, hello, Ms. Henshaw. Is Mr. Gildersleeve there? No, ma'am, he's with you. Come again? He's supposed to be here, but I haven't seen him. Well, he was anxious to get over there. I know that. Oh? I cleaned his suit and he was going to hurry to get there even if the suit smelled like gasoline. Well, he's vanished into thin air. Maybe he let a cigar in his suit blew up. Yes, ma'am. You want to leave a message for the water commissioner? I just want to leave the water commissioner high and dry. Yes, ma'am. I'll give him the message. You don't mind if I reword it, do you? I don't care what you tell him. As long as he understands that I never want to see him again. Yes, ma'am. Goodbye, Birdie. Goodbye, Ms. Henshaw. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. What's wrong, Birdie? Mr. Gildersleeve ain't showed up at Ms. Henshaw's bartering like a teakettle. Yeah? That poor Mr. Gildersleeve. Well, he should have been there long ago. Well, he said he was stopping Mr. Peaty's house. Maybe taking him a long time to patch up that claw. Maybe Mrs. Peaty hit him over the head with a skillet. Well, if Mr. Gildersleeve laid out, I know he's glad he's got on his blue surge. Oh, Mrs. Peaty, Birdie. That's a good idea. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. I hear the phone ringing upstairs. Well, I can't answer it down here in the basement. What a helpless feeling. Peaty's would be the cautious type. Lock every door in the house. Yeah, Mrs. Peaty probably just went to the market. I wonder how Irene is taking this. Zeke. Pretty dark down here, but I can see the handwriting on the wall. She'll ditch me for old some shore. I wish it was a bigger light bulb down here. Maybe if I open the furnace stiller, I can see better. Hit my head on the furnace pipe. Better sit down before I get knocked down. Eek. They call this soft coal. Oh, well. Peaty has to come home to dinner soon. No, girl. I just talked to her. She's at the hairdresser's. I'm taking her out to dinner tonight. Yeah? You're livin' it up, huh? Well, Mrs. Peaty and I had a little misunderstanding, so I'm treating her to a permanent wave with seafood dinner and a night on the town. You won't be home until late. Maybe I should give Mrs. Henshaw a permanent wave. How's that? She sure is sore at him for not showin' up. Good evening, Mr. Peaty. Hey, Roy. Hi. Have you seen anything along Dr. Olson? No. As a matter of fact, I haven't been looking for him. Have you checked the office, Learor? He hasn't left the office. I think I'll go back home and see if Bertie's heard from him. Yeah, don't worry. He'll turn up. Sure. Ops too big to lose. Good night, Learor. Night. Night. You'll just leave lost? I hope. Well, he's unaccounted for it, the moment. Say, do you suppose he's so afraid I'll steal his girl, he jumped off the dam into the reservoir? I doubt if he jumped off the dam into the reservoir, the ice is a foot thick. Oh, Gildersleeve could break through. You don't seem to be too concerned about Mr. Gildersleeve. Oh, I am. I am. Why, if anything should happen to Frockmorton, I'd simply die. Laughing. He speaks well of you, too. I'm only kidding, Mr. Peabee. Oh, yeah. To show you how worried I am about Frockmorton, I'm going to conduct a one-man search for him. You don't say. Yes. And the first place I'm going to look is at Irene's apartment. Well, he had a date with her. If he isn't there, I'll take Irene to dinner at the Summerfield Grill and look for him there. I doubt if he'd appreciate that. I'm only thinking of him, Mr. Peabee. We don't find him at the Grill. We may have to look for him at a dark movie. Laughing. You're a true friend. Yes, indeed. And I won't give up. If Frockmorton isn't in the movie, I'll take Irene back to that cozy little apartment and faithfully wait for him there. Laughing. Let's see what time it is. It's eleven o'clock. The Peabees aren't home yet. If I can get out of this basement, I can still make it to Irene's. Yeah. At least I had a little dinner. Mrs. Peabee's strawberry preserves and candle pickles. Laughing. Peabee. There's Peabee's car. They're home at last. Night owls. They're coming up to the house now. Peabee! I'll have to get some attention. That good old Peabee. He heard me. Come out whoever you are and come out with your hand up. Over. You don't have a gun, do you? I'm not going to tell you. We put down that crowbar. Mr. Gildersby, what are you doing in my basement? Mrs. Peabee accidentally locked me in. You still haven't explained what you were doing down there. I came by to try to patch up your little tiff with Mrs. Peabee. No, I've already done that. It cost me ten dollars and eighty-two candy. Well, I've got to rush over and explain to Irene now. It's a little late, Mr. Gildersby. It's never too late to make up with Irene. Well, I wouldn't say that. I'm pretty angry. She said she'd give me only one more chance and I've used it. Shall I ring the doorbell or just knock softly? Oop, somebody's coming out. I better hide behind the shrubs. That was nice of you to take me to dinner, Clarence. That sneaky Olson. What's he doing here? That was my pleasure, Irene. In any emergency, Dr. Olson is ready to operate. What a corny intern. I don't care if Frockmorton never shows up. I can't understand. He's completely ignoring our date tonight. You are not being ignored, my dear. Well, you've been very sweet. And I'll continue to be. You can just forget that old moss-covered water bucket. Oh, Clarence. By George, I'd step out and punch him in the nose. It wouldn't look like I'm eavesdropping. Irene, have I told you you're very lovely? You told me when you first came over tonight. You told me at dinner and you told me at the movie. You better watch it or I'll tell him. Oh, when I get home tonight, I'll phone you and tell you again. He's sickening. Well, he's getting late. You better give me back my hand and run along. Oh, no, not yet, Irene. Why doesn't he let go? If I had a bean shooter, I'd beat him. Can I see you again tomorrow night? No, I haven't any other plans. Till tomorrow night then? If he tries to kiss her out? Yeah, I'll plan. You had a girl, Irene. Oh, I can wait. A doctor has lots of patience, you know. You're so clever. Yes. Oh, brother. Good night, Irene. The last he's leaving. He needs Stockmorton. Oh, it's you. Where have you been all night? In a basement. A basement? You shouldn't have bothered to come out. No, Irene, don't slam the door. Give me a chance to explain. Stockmorton, I don't want to hear any more of your bargain basement explanations. Look, I went over to Peavey's house to patch up with Coral and Mrs. Peavey locked me in the basement. Well, good for Mrs. Peavey. No, Irene, I've been there all night. Peavey just came home and let me out. All I had for dinner was jam and pickles. Oh, Brock Morton. I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You mind trying to make me a cup of coffee? Well, I'll be late, but come on in. Of course, I said I'd never see you again. You glad you changed your mind? Sit down. I think there's some warm coffee left. Had a caller, have you? Yes, Clarence Olson was kind enough to substitute for you tonight. Second team, huh? You know you were headed for the scrubs, don't you? I shouldn't try to help people. Why should I go out of my way to settle somebody else's quarrel? I should have let the Peaveys have their tip. Look at the trouble it brought me. Now, Brock Morton, I realize you were only trying to do good and I forgive you. Then everything's all right between you and me. Everything's all right. Oh, wonderful. Good to be out of the doghouse. I can't imagine Mr. and Mrs. Peavey in an argument. What was it about? Oh, something silly. Let's see, what was it about? Oh, yes, I remember. It seems the Peaveys are getting another parrot and Mrs. Peavey wanted to name it after her side of the family. Oh, for heaven's sake. Versus if it's a girl parrot, she wants to call it Bertha May. Isn't that ridiculous? Oh, I don't know. What's so ridiculous about Bertha May? It just sounds silly. Bertha happens to be my middle name. Zeke. Out of the basement and back in the doghouse. The Great Gilded Sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Give the icebox raiders at your house a special treat. Keep a package of Kraft natural Swiss cheese on hand for their hungry moments. Kraft natural Swiss cheese has heart of the cheese goodness in every bite. And for your convenience, this good cheese with the holes now comes from Kraft already sliced and sealed in half-pound packages. Kraft natural Swiss is perfect for quick snacks and easy suppers and lunches. Try it soon. Wonderful tasting Kraft natural Swiss cheese. No, Irene. Bertha has always been a favorite name of mine. We've had some Bertha's in our family. In fact, if I remember quickly, I had a great aunt named Bertha. Then why did you say it sounded silly? I didn't mean the name was silly. It's such a fine name. It's silly to waste it on a parrot. Hmm. Good luck, Morton. I guess I'll never be able to stay angry with you. You're good. There's another cup of coffee in the pot, Irene. Shall we split? Well, it's a little late. But why not? Yeah, that's the spirit. Oh, that's Bobby Clarence. He was going to phone me. Oh? Hello? Irene. Yeah, let me have the phone. Good luck, Morton. I told you I'd call to tell you how lovely you are. Oh, some flattery will get you nowhere. You're asleep. Good night, folks. The cast are Walter Tetley, Joanne Jordan, William Randolph, George Niece, and Dick Legrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the craft foods company. Makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gilderslee. Done up just right, a delicious hamburger can be truly a gourmet delight. A big deal in eating pleasure. Of course, just about every good cook knows that a dash of craft-prepared mustard really makes a hamburger. Because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Craft mustard naturally. There are two kinds of craft-prepared mustard. Mild craft mustard if you like it smooth and delicately spiced. Snappy craft mustard with horseradish added if you like it zippy. Get both kinds of craft-prepared mustard at your food store. Now play You Bet Your Life with Groucho on the NBC Radio Network.