 Everything I thought I understood about my relationships was crushed by this quote. This is a quote by Neil Strauss. It's worth remembering that most of the time, when you're arguing in a relationship, you're not truly arguing with your partner, and they are not arguing with you. They're arguing with a parent. You're arguing with a grown-up version of that child. And when we say relationships, it's not just the romantic ones. We're referring to any relationship you have in your lifetime. Friends, classmates, coworkers, bosses, etc. I'm sure many people can relate to this because, according to research done by Jane Ellen Stevens, nearly 35 million people in the US alone have experienced one or more types of childhood trauma. These previous wounds initiate surges of strong emotions and physical reactions that may persist long after the event and may affect aspects of daily living such as work, school, social, and relationship life. Here are five signs of childhood wounds. 1. You have negative behavioral tendencies Adults living with childhood trauma may show some behavioral tendencies such as compulsion, eating disorders, impulsiveness, isolation, numbness, or callousness. And general disorientation. Do you recognize yourself showing one or two of these symptoms? Could it possibly connect to a bad childhood experience? When you grow up afraid or under constant stress, your body's stress response systems may not develop normally. Later on, when exposed to even ordinary stress levels as an adult, your body may automatically respond as if under extreme stress. You may also engage in activities or harmful behaviors like binge eating, excessive exercise, and drug or substance abuse. Please note that these are just common symptoms of trauma victims. Some may display a number of these while some show none at all. Diagnosis from a registered mental professional is important and it's a recommended step for recovery. 2. You have a fear of intimacy Do you have commitment issues? Have relationships been hard on you because you feel like they've been expecting so much more than what you can give. Having bad childhood experiences may make it difficult for you to form attachments or relationships out of fear of trust. For example, if you are constantly criticized as young child and exposed to conditional love, you may find it difficult to reciprocate feelings as an adult. This proves to be a struggle no matter which social situation you find yourself in. But don't lose hope. A lot of people have come to terms with their childhood scars and recovered from them. Therapy is a safe and proven way of healing. If you feel like it's too big of a step, you may also attempt opening up to your loved ones and other people you trust. With baby steps you can do it. 3. You're afraid of confrontation, pressure, and speaking up. Are you the type of person who shuts down under pressure? Do you have difficulty in confrontations and speaking up for yourself? These traits may stem from parental treatment in your childhood years. Were your parents or guardians overly strict? If you spoke up about something challenging them, did you receive punishment in return? These events may cause you to have fear in your later years when placed in similar situations. You may also feel like you weren't worthy or capable enough to create a positive change in your life. Therapy and incorporating practices of self-acceptance may help in having a better view of yourself. 4. You have turbulent emotions. Do you tend to act before you think? Are emotional outbursts something you experience regularly? Trauma survivors often have rooted insecurity that makes them unable to relate with other people. Because of this, you may feel like a lot of people are against you because of something you did. You are sensitive to their words and actions and tend to take them negatively. It might be a good idea to surround yourself with patient people who understand what you're going through. Also, be kind to yourself and take time off whenever you feel like your emotions are getting the better of you. 5. You have internalized narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people have a great sense of their importance. They require excessive attention and admiration and have a lack of empathy for others. Experts say that when a child is trapped in a narcissistic relationship system with a parent, they either internalize the narcissism or externalize it by projecting shame, guilt, humiliation, and fear onto others. Those with narcissistic personality disorder may have a grandiose sense of self-importance, is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, have a sense of entitlement, take advantage of others, and show arrogance, haughty behaviors, or attitudes. So do you recognize these signs within yourself? Do you know other people who exhibit these symptoms? A diagnosed mental health professional will be able to provide a diagnosis that may aid in your journey to recovery. Other methods for help are also available such as therapy, family therapy, and attending parenting classes. If you feel like these are big steps that you aren't ready for, talking to a close friend or a loved one is always a good option. Reaching out is important because you deserve to get a better quality of life. And finally, remember that what happened to you in the past doesn't define who you are or who you have the potential to become. Please like and share this video with friends that might find some insight in this video too. Make sure to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more content. All the references used are added in the description box below. Thanks so much for watching and we'll see you next time.