 Palm olive soap your beauty hope and luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous dream girl hair bring you our miss brook starring Eve Arden Our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School Enjoyed her vacation during the holidays just as much as any other teacher But as it drew to a close she had a peculiar reaction Although I felt that my vacation had done me a lot of good now that it was over. I was keyed up and enthusiastic Simply raring to go raring to go on another two weeks vacation Meanwhile, I went about the business of getting used to working again and spent the past week noticing conditions Which hadn't seemed so deplorable during the hustle and bustle of holiday time at the school? I was telling my landlady mrs. Davis about them while we were having breakfast Friday morning Let me pour you a cup of this coffee. Connie. It's Rio de Janeiro style. I just got the recipe Rio de Janeiro style Yes, I mashed up a few brazil nuts and mixed them with the coffee ground That's one reason why the blonde hair of a brazilian is so outstanding Mrs. Davis very few Brazilians have blonde hair. That's another reason. It's so outstanding But I'm afraid I've interrupted something you started to say to me Connie. Oh, it wasn't very important I had just said I really shouldn't do that. It's a habit. I picked up for my brother Victor He's terribly absent-minded. I thought your sister Angela was the absent-minded one in the family Angela. Yes, that's what you told me What did I tell you? That she was very absent-minded Your brother Victor now, how did you know that you never even met Victor? But he is confused sometimes poor dear why you could be talking about something to Victor and he'd seem as Interested as could be in the conversation But then if you just looked away for a moment, it could be right in the middle of a sentence that Yes, Mrs. Davis Mrs. Davis Mrs. Davis Oh, good morning Connie I was just looking for the cat out in the kitchen. She hadn't touched her milk. What do you hear from Victor? Oh, my brother. Oh, he's fine. Thank you dear. He calls me quite regularly My sister Angela is the one that worries me. She's the absent-minded member of the family But I keep feeling that I disrupted your train of thought did I Connie there's not a car left on the tracks But the caboose I Was merely telling you Mrs. Davis that I never realized how bad conditions were at school until this cold spell set in Why my classroom is so drafty that half my pupils can't answer questions because their teeth are chattering That must be awful young people have such loud teeth Sometimes my room sounds like a dice game on a tin roof Have you talked to the principal about it? Not yet, but I'm going to today He's just got to get the Board of Education to allow us a bigger budget for coal Well, I wish you luck dear is a Walter Denton picking you up this morning. Yes, Mrs. Davis. Oh good Connie I'd like to apologize again for interrupting you before as I say I've been a little worried about my eccentric brother Victor Before you go though Yes Goodbye, Mrs. Davis Why she's gone poor thing she's been under a terrible strain lately I'm glad you picked me up early Walter I've got to stop in see mr. Conklin before my first class Oh golly, Miss Brooks or must be some pleasanter way to start off a Friday morning for a perfectly nice English teacher Yes, there must be oh, it isn't that I don't respect mr. Conklin. It's just that oh, there's something about you, Miss Brooks It well before the hallowed walls of our beloved Madison High heaves into view I want you to know just a minute Walter Would you mind taking that sentence again a little slower? I merely exclaimed before the hallowed walls of our beloved Madison High Heaves into view. That's what I thought you explained Well frankly Walter, I'd hesitate to correct that sentence without stopping a teacher's college for a fresher course What do you mean by heaves into view? Well every so often you read about a ship that Hove into view, don't you? Yes. Well Hove must be the past tense mustn't it? Heave, Haved, Hove, isn't it? Of course not, Walter. Heave, Heave, Haved, uh What do you want me to know before Madison High heaves into view? That you command as much respect as mr. Conklin Plus the admiration of the entire student body and that your personal warmth and charm is only Exceeded by your excellence in your chosen field of instruction. Ain't it the truth. I Don't want to seem unduly inquisitive Walter, but to what do I owe this verbal plaque? Nothing It's just a natural reaction a completely spontaneous and unrehearsed and what did you get from our sponsor when you were selected as a Contestant a pen and pencil set that's guaranteed Now I'm being completely sincere and have no ulterior motive whatsoever then thank you Walter. Well, that's okay Miss Brooks. Yes, would you do me a favor? If I say no, you'll take back the plaque Well, what is it? Well, it's a basketball team as you know, I'm the new manager So it's it's up to me to see mr. Conklin about getting some things that we need immediately and and it's up to you To see mr. Conklin for me because I'm rarely up to seeing mr. Conklin What I mean is that we've just got to get some more trunks. Where are you going? No, we need stuff for the guys to put on while they're playing you see right now every time we send in a substitute He has to take a blanket along with him and change trunks with a fella. He's About 10 pairs should do fine 10 pairs. Why don't you just get a larger blanket? Oh No, this is serious miss Brooks Another thing you've got to talk to mr. Conklin about for me is the temperature in the gym It's so cold in there a good humor man has to referee the game Of course, I'm exaggerating miss Brooks. I know Walter But a just what do you want me to ask mr. Conklin and B? Why should it be me instead of you? Well a to requisition a hundred dollars worth of equipment for the basketball team from the school board and B Because you're older and carry more weight If we were driving in my car, you'd be walking by now You don't understand miss Brooks. I'm not trying to shirk my duties, but well, this is a legitimate beef Let me put it this way in the stockyards when they want the sheep to run a certain way They don't send a little lamb out to guide them. They send an old goat Because I'm sure where they the goat and it like gosh, I hope you're not mad miss Brooks Forget it. Walter. Why should I be mad? You'll ask mr. Conklin for me. I'll do my best now You'd better start putting on your brakes my brakes. Yes, the hallowed walls are hyping into view Brooks starring Eve Arden will continue in just a moment, but first here is Vern Smith Ladies regardless of age skin type or previous beauty care Doctors prove you too may win a lovelier complexion with palm olive soap But to win this lovelier complexion the kind men admire and women envy you must stop improper cleansing Instead use palm olive soap the way doctors advised remember 36 doctors leading skin specialists advised 1285 women many with complexion problems to use palm olive this way some have dry skin some oily some course looking Using palm olive soap alone two out of three one lovelier complexions Now here's what the doctors advised wash your face with palm olive soap Massaging for one minute with palm olive soft leather this cleansing massage brings your skin palm olives full beautifying effect Rinse do this three times a day for 14 days It's that simple, but doctors have proved this way using nothing, but palm olive really works So forget other beauty care use palm olive soap alone for a lovelier complexion For loveliness all over use big thrifty bath size palm olive in your tub or shower Here we are at school miss Brooks if you will kindly disembark I'll find a place to park and then return for a joust with the forces of education if I was a gambler Walter I'd bet on you to place. Oh, there's Harriet Conklin. I think I'll ask her what kind of a mood her father's in Okay, miss Brooks Just a minute Harriet, I'd like to talk to you. Oh, hello, miss Brooks. I'm glad we ran into each other same here Harriet, did you have breakfast with your father this morning? Yes, I did. How was he his temper? I mean Pretty good miss Brooks until mother showed him some of the bills that had come in then what did he do? Nothing unusual. He just slammed down his paper a bit through his coffee cup and left It could have been worse sure he could have bitten your mother That's one of the reasons I'm glad we ran into each other Miss Brooks, did I ever tell you what an unending source of inspiration you are? Oh, I must end somewhere I mean it miss Brooks. You're more than just an excellent instructor of English. You're you're I'm the patsy Who's gonna face your father with one of your problems? Oh listen psychic, too How did you know I wanted you to talk to daddy for me miss Brooks? Well, why should you be an exception Harriet? What's your beef a complaint? The domestic science room. It's like a deep freeze that room too It's so cold that most of us wear gloves all during the class Makes it very awkward miss Brooks, especially when we're trying to use the sewing machine. It sounds pretty bad bad It's terrible. Yesterday Bessie Snyder sewed five of her fingers together What's so terrible about that gives you an extra ladle for the cooking class It broke the sewing machine and we need two hundred dollars for a new one. Oh, but Harriet that miss Brooks It's up to you to make conditions in this school livable for you. You mean I'd better be armed with plenty of facts before I face Your father though. I think I'll make a survey of the rest of the rooms starting with mr. Boynton's biology laboratory Now who's psychic? Yes, Harriet. I think I'll interview the shy master of the microbes. I've been in there miss Brooks It's even colder than the other rooms. I hope you can do something about it. I should be able to with the experience. I've had What do you mean miss Brooks? I've been trying to thaw mr. Boynton out for years Come in hello, mr. Boynton. Oh, it's you miss Brooks. How do you feel this morning cold? Thanks, especially in here Where do you hang your sides of beef mr. Boynton? I Was going to ask mr. Coughlin about the heating situation, but now that you're here. I wonder if you would naturally You better slip this coat on even your voice is shivery No, this outfit. I'm wearing is fairly warm. I've got four sweaters on you now really where let's not get racy, mr. I didn't mean anything personal you never do The situation is pretty bad. I'll take my prize frog mcdougal for instance He's had a sore throat for weeks now with this cold spell. I'm afraid he's developing sinus trouble. Here's his cage right here Hello, Mac. How do you feel? Gesundheit have a Kleenex Mac. You're welcome It's no wonder he's sick look at the tank He's in no provisions for heating the water at all or this morning his breakfast was frozen two inches from his nose By the time he did eat he had indigestion This equipment is pretty obsolete what's this bowl here? Oh, these must be some new fish What's the name of these pretty blue ones mr. Boynton goldfish? They're just cold Look at these cute little guinea pigs now there what I call sensible animals look how they huddle together for warmth in their cage You know mr. Boynton you and I could keep kind of warm that way, too I know we couldn't miss Brooks. We could never fit into a cage that size But it would be fun trying to Look mr. Boynton about what do you estimate it would cost for new equipment for this lab? Oh a couple of hundred dollars roughly 150 if you smooth it out That's a sort of a joke miss Brooks first. I said roughly and then 150 if you smooth it out I know another one, but I wish you'd stop me if you've heard it. It's about this group of people. I've heard it The one about the group of people who are all discussing something in a very animated manner and Suddenly they stop and this one fellow says is anybody eating a lifesaver and somebody else says why and the first chap says because there's a hole in the conversation You've heard no, I heard a different one tell yours Just didn't tell it miss Brooks So you did mr. Boynton and a little beauty it was too, but I better get ready for my first class now I'll see mr. Conklin at the beginning of lunch period. Well, it's awfully nice of you to do this miss Brooks Will you have lunch with me afterwards? Oh, I'd love to mr. Boynton and miss Brooks Please don't even bring your purse with you It only embarrasses me when you try to pay your own check in the cafeteria. All right, mr. Boynton I'll leave my bag in my desk fine when I see you to your room. I can pick up what you owe me That's a good one too What am I laughing at he's not kidding Let's see this list now weather stripping for my room $50 Basketball team equipment 100 new sewing machine about 200 and biology lab equipment 150 total $500 Of course, that's without the additional coal will have to get well here goes I'm in Hello, mr. Conklin. I just want to sit down a moment miss Brooks. I'm speaking on the phone. Yes, sir So you see miss Stanhope this senseless extravagance has got to stop Why do you realize that your art class used up three more drawing pencils this month than last? What do you think the school board is made of money? What how can you cut down? Tell the students not to sharpen them so often Remember miss Stanhope it isn't the 50 cents involved. That's important. It's the money Let's start cutting down expenses around here. Good day Now what do you want a happy new year mr. Conklin? I mean, I just happened to be passing your office and I thought I'd stop in and say hello Hello Now if you'll excuse me I was just going to look but mr. Conklin You don't want to go up to that drafty cafeteria. What do you mean drafty? Oh, it is It's almost as bad as the school rooms What and the gym and the biology laboratory in the domestic science room in which your own daughter Harriet is at this Very moment shivering and shaking while she sows her gloved fingers together on the sewing machine Which Bessie Snyder broke there I said it and I'm glad If you're angling for another vacation miss Brooks the answer is no now compose yourself and talk Like a rational human being well, it's like this mr. Conklin if we could get a larger appropriation from the school a larger appropriation Miss Brooks, let me tell you what I was planning when you so fortuitously entered my office I was planning on a general revision of expenses an economy wave the likes of which this school has never seen For example, you will in the future direct your pupils to use half as much chalk. You mean no more capital letters Exactly and This building it's kept like a hot house. I intend to cut way down on the supply of coal. We're wasting wasting, but but don't But me young woman. I can't help it. I'm the goat that was picked for the job It's not a question of a lot of money mr. Conklin and the temperature of the school is very important It certainly is and I find it extremely comfortable for the most part But are you why are you wearing your overcoat? It's just a silly quirk of mine mr. Conklin I'm trying to break up an ice-jam and my arteries Nonsense and take off those gloves and I wish you'd stop smoking while you're talking to me. I'm not smoking. I'm just breathing Well cut it out That's the trouble with people nowadays. They're all mollicottles softies Why when I think of our forefathers at Valley Forge? Dragging cannons through the snow with their feet wrapped in rags. It's enough to make my blood boil. Oh, it wouldn't boil in my room Look mr. Conklin if you don't care about people think of the poor little animals and mr. Boyden's laboratory What's wrong with them the white mice can't run around on the treadmill without snowshoes But Google doesn't know whether to croak sneeze or hiccup so he does all three and it's pretty depressing Well, then don't listen to it and how about the basketball team? Walter Denton says that every time one of his substitutes goes into a game He has to hide behind a trunk while they're changing blankets Think a hundred dollars would remedy the entire situation a hundred dollars plus two hundred for a new sewing machine 50 for weather stripping my room and a hundred and fifty for warmer tanks and better equipment in the biology lab $500 is all you have to requisition from the board plus some added money for coal and if you'll sharpen the sword I'll fall on it on my way out Miss Brooks, I'm going to try to control myself I'm going to walk over to that window and look out of it a moment later I'm going to turn around and you will have gone quietly out of the door. It's better $500 indeed He was pretty crowded today young Denton here invited us to share his table sure now miss Brooks I want me to get you a tray. Thanks, Walter, but I haven't time to eat right now I've just let him left mr. Conklin's office and he's flatly refused to requisition up penny from the school board But the temperature my animals McDougal's toes are frostbitten now and how about my basketball team We got a very important home game on tomorrow night and that gym is just icy. Oh, we got to do something miss Brooks We just got to get some more coal into this building. Well, maybe we could start an airlift Wait a minute the only way to make mr. Conklin see the necessity of improving the coal situation is to pretend We're all coming down with coals. You mean going to his office sneezing and coughing and all exactly He won't dare face a school board investigation if he thinks an epidemic is starting besides I happen to know He's quite a hypochondriac when it comes to contagious germs But if we really don't have calls you to be lying to say we have wouldn't it it's a white lie for the common good mr. Boynham But you know what happens to me when I tell a falsehood. I have a psychosomatic symptom that causes me to hiccup Well, we'll have to take that chance Think of McDougal mr. Boynham and those blue goldfish swimming around depending on you to do something I'll do it miss Brooks. I'll be darned if I don't oh, I beg your pardon Oh Forget it mr. Boynham in a crisis like this even I resort to profanity. Oh fudge Mr. Conklin I got a bad coat what it's it by doze and Ed mostly Turn around boyden want to know those germs travel. How long have you had this cold? Oh for a long time Thing from that wretched frog of yours Now go take some aspirin go home early do something but get out of this office at once But mr. Conklin by laboratory was a little bit warped. I'll talk to you after you've recovered boyden Fired mr. Conklin. Thank you, sir Better open the window and clear the air in this room It's me mr. Conklin water dead in What do you want then as bad as you have the basketball team? I'd like to request a war but Jim a What a war but Jim to play it? It's freezing in there You too well cover your face when you sneeze we got a very important game to play tomorrow and we need some heat bad Well, if you've got such a bad cold dentin, you'd better not come around to the game tomorrow What I'll be there and I'll appoint another manager, but I'm not that sick mr. Conklin gosh I feel great. I mean I think I know what you mean This is all a scheme to get me to ask the board for more money, and I think I know who put you up to it She did not Come in miss Brooks How did you know it was me mr. Conklin? I? Heard you rehearsing your sneeze Do you look great miss Brooks never saw you looking better thank you Walder You couldn't possibly have a cold or anything the way you look know what I mean keep talking dentin I don't mind why what's the better with you walter? I've a terrible cold by chest and by head It's from my room mr. Conklin Mr. Conklin if that isn't a scream you sure do a funny imitation of a person with a cold miss Brooks What do you be? Dibotation George everybody knows you're just fooling own pupils a stool pigeon I knew this was all a plot miss Brooks, and I'm ashamed of you why just because there's a little fresh air circulating through the school Good fresh air you throw a fit our forefathers should see you now those men at Valley Ford Dragging the cannon through the snow with rags tied around their feet Why would I think the door was open, so I just came on in daddy Oh, what is it Harriet? I talked to mother on the phone a little while ago and her back's bothering her a bit She'd like the heating pad what heating pad the one you've got under the cushion. You're sitting on Now if you'll just get up a minute There we are. I'll take it home to mother right away. Where in the world did that thing come from? From Valley Forge, of course the boys The boys must have got some hot rags for their feet The garden is our miss Brooks returns in just a moment, but first Tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Only luster cream brings you K. Dumas magic formula blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin gives loveliness lather Even in hardest water glamorizes your hair as you wash it Luster cream not a soap not a liquid, but a dainty cream shampoo leaves hair Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff Blistening with sheen soft Manageable gives new beauty to all hairdos or permanence Four ounce jar one dollar smaller sizes either tubes or jars tonight try luster cream shampoo and be a Beautiful luster cream You owe your crowning glory to Luster cream And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well, mr. Conklin recommended the necessary expenditures to the school board and personally ordered some coal immediately I thought it was a very sportsman like an unselfish gesture, and I started to tell him so when I met him in the hall Mr. Conklin, I think it was very nice of you to tackle this problem so promptly. Thanks miss Brooks But I wasn't probed enough I'm getting to bow to you Huh What's the difference, mr. Conklin as long as you've got your health For soft glamorous dream girl hair our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns written and directed by Al Lewis with music by Wilbur hatch mr. Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler mr Conklin by Gail Gordon others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan Dick Crenna and Gloria McMillan Men here is actual factual proof of more comfortable actually smooth the shaves by using pommel of lather shaving cream 1,251 men tried the pommel of lather way to shave described on the tube and no matter how they shaved before Three out of four got more comfortable actually smooth the shaves Try pommel of lather shaving cream see if you don't get more comfortable Actually smooth the shaves the pommel of lather shaving cream way For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. And mrs. North the exciting fun-packed adventures of an amateur detective and his Beautiful wife tune in Tuesday evenings over most of these same stations and be with us again next week at this same time For another comedy episode of our miss Brooks stay tuned now for Lomond Avenue Bob Lamont speaking This is CBS the Columbia