 Hey guys, welcome to today's video and what we're gonna be talking about today is how people actually Go the wrong way about discovering their goals their values and Things that they should be pursuing now Let me kind of give you a heads up. This video is going to contain some foul language Because there are parts where I'll have to be a bit vulgar and the video is already Already know that the video is probably going to get demonetized for it. So just so you know that I'm genuinely here to help so How do people currently? Set their goals like what do people actually do when they want to set goals? So the way most people go about it is they try to focus on the positive. So they ask themselves questions like for example What would make me happy? You know these kind of people what would make me happy? Well, what thing can I pursue that would make me happy or other types of people? Ask themselves. What are my goals or the worst one is That I know is what do I want? Basically people really really try to focus on the positive Again, what do I want? What would make me happy? What would be cool? What would be fulfilling? basically just really strong focus on the positive and obviously when you Think this way then what are the things that are going to come to mind say? Oh, I want I want to have this Brand new car. Yeah, and this is my my version of a car by the way I want to have a house, you know or I want to have a successful business You know I want to make lots and lots of money You know, I just want money flowing into my pockets or you know, I want to be a famous public speaker I just want to stand there and give lectures to millions of people or have a massive YouTube channel and everybody's gonna love me and it's always very much on the Positive side now. Where does that really end up going bad? The answer is that when you set a goal and It doesn't matter if it's a really huge goal or even just a medium-sized goal Whenever you set goals in life the way that usually works is if this is the point where you start, you know when we set goals, we think okay, it's gonna go like this and I know this is kind of a cliche. I know everybody's like, yeah, yeah, I know, you know, it doesn't go like this It goes like this. That's how they show it in the picture. I know that's not what I'm gonna tell you So please focus The way we think it's go that's gonna go is like and not like this because nobody's you know I would say nobody's that stupid, but we usually grow out of it by age 20 But we do think it's gonna be like maybe I'm gonna hang in a wall here And I'm gonna ping in this wall here And there's gonna be another one here and maybe one last wall here and then I'm gonna reach my goal So we severely underestimate Just how biased we are towards optimism when we set our goals And then what happens is we do end up in that first wall. We do end up in that second wall We do end up in that third wall but which we were prepared for but then what we found that find out is that What we thought was like a long way forward We find out that we actually just went like this like this like this and like this and we basically Maybe 10% of the way through, you know, if you like Grant Cardone's 10x rule He basically says that you need to assume that whatever you think it's gonna take it's gonna take 10 times more than that So and the guy is almost a billionaire at this point. So just to give you an estimate of like how much Shit you're gonna have to go through and unfortunately. This is where we start to go into profanity So now that we realize that goals are shit that anything you want in life that is worth Going for is gonna be shit. How do you actually? Go about finding out what you want and doing it in a way where there's very low chance that you're gonna be wrong So the answer is very simple focus on the negatives So when I set goals for myself or I want to clarify, okay, what's the right next move for me? What do I want to do in this situation? What goals should I be striving for I ask myself instead of the fun questions like oh, what would be awesome? I try asking myself actually like the worst kind of questions you can think of so I'd ask myself something along the lines sorry something along the lines of What would I be willing to suffer like fucking hell for? You know or questions like What sorry, let me just large that what would I rather die? miserably Then not accomplish So just as a small exact two examples of the way that I kind of speak to myself when I set up these kind of questions or What goal would I set if I knew that I'd be forced? forced to follow it through despite how horrible and Painful it would be so what these kind of questions do what I like about them Is that they don't engage or negative your positive biases? So they don't make you go all optimistic and all like oh this is gonna be fun You know the reward is so awesome because the thing is when you want to accomplish a goal When you're basically very comfortable when you set that goal You're usually in your living room or in an office that's air air conditioned and things are just nice You know you maybe you're watching an inspirational video things just feel really really good So the way that the chart kind of looks if we kind of map out Let's say the let's say that here is the goal like if you reach here you achieve the goal and We are gonna use two parameters. So one is time So what I mean is like the axis of time like how much time went by In regards to this goal, let me just organize it So how much time passed and the other variable would be? Let's say shit. So that kind of encapsulates. I think what I mean here so You know and and we can even we can even put at the top like amazing, you know because Like you want to put like a spectrum like okay at the top you feel amazing at the bottom you feel like shit and What people think the way they believe that this looks like is Basically you start a goal. It's kind of shit at the beginning and then things just get better and better and better over time and you're gonna be happy and What event what ends up happening is because when you start your goal You're usually inspired you feel really good is you started at a very high Emotional level and you feel really good about starting it and you tell your friends about it And you get really really excited and then from the moment you start. Maybe there's a somewhat of a An improvement in your mood because you get like a first win or something but then from there you get the what Seth goading calls the dip and from there things just starts spiraling down and You find out that the baseline you thought it was like somewhere around here. No, it's actually somewhere around here And you weren't used you weren't thinking about that. You were thinking about that. So you're not used to that you're not you're not You haven't prepared for it and it catches you off guard and that's really really bad That's one of the biggest reasons people give up on their goals is because they didn't expect it to be so hard And it just happens again and again and again and they eventually instead of saying, okay Maybe I need to read just my thoughts about how hard it is to accomplish goals They say oh, maybe I just should stop setting goals because setting goals doesn't work or something So what I like to do is to find ways creative ways to start as low as freaking possible Again, these are great questions for that And then when I asked myself like what goal would I set if I knew that I'd be forced to follow it through despite How horrible and painful it would be so now when I'm thinking about different goals, so You know, I'm basically going through goals in my head. I'm saying, okay, I can do this thing I can do that thing. Let's say, okay, I can go for public speaking I can go for writing a book. I can start a consulting business. I can start an e-commerce business I can pursue that woman, this woman. By the way, I'm married with a two-month-old daughter So I'm not pursuing women Basically, you ask yourself You start asking about these goals, but instead of coming from a place of like Which one is more awesome? You start asking yourself You start coming from a place of like which one would I be willing to suffer for and you actually look at all the shit That's probably going to happen along the way because again the defining question here is like this fight or Forced these are like the words that really change the essence of the questions because you're basically not letting yourself out of the hook here And when your brain realizes based on the question the human business that you're basically saying, okay brain help me think of ideas where I can go for something and Basically, I'm not going to give up no matter how hard it is then your brain is like whoa Okay, because your brain realizes that you're not in fantasy land anymore You're not in the hole. Oh, let's get excited and then it's gonna dip and then I'm gonna quit because it was unexpected You're in the okay It's gonna be shit and I'm gonna continue no matter how shit it is and no matter how long it takes So when you start thinking like that the it really helps clarify your mind So if you already have a list of goals or values or things that you're pursuing or thinking about pursuing And you're just unclear about what you should be going for Use these negative questions to help weed out the fake goals Which are basically the ones that you're gonna start and give up on and the real goals Which are the ones that you'd willingly step into the fire for for again goals that you'd literally be willing to like Yeah, I'm going to go through fire and I'm gonna let myself burn to make this work I'm willing to go through the shit You know to suffer to go through immense risk or emotional turbulence to make this work and when you see that chasm of fire and You're like yeah, this is it like this is a goal where I'm literally willing to go through the fire Not above it not around it not to Extinguish it and then go no I'm literally willing to step right into that bitch Get burnt and come out the other side if you're willing to do that the odds of you following through on the goal are extremely high and You know people say it's about willpower and discipline to some extent that's true But you also need to find the right goal that would even prompt you to to Desire that will power to desire that discipline. So people think that it starts with discipline. It doesn't it starts with finding a goal That's so important to you that you'd be willing to create the discipline for because again I've done really crazy shit in my life Especially stuff in sports that involved a lot of discipline But the moment that I came upon a challenge that I wasn't 100% closed on like I wasn't like okay This goal is gonna get done no matter what then all the discipline would just go out the window because basically As long as you have a way out, you're never gonna be able to go through the fire because and again You can refer to the previous video made about this exact topic as long as you have any way out You're basically gonna take the easier path out in the long run so I hope this video helps clarify how you should be setting goals and Just the the virtues of negativity I think people really under appreciate negativity and how helpful it could be in cutting through bullshit knowing who you are knowing what you want and Really you should be we should all be striving to Think more negatively on a conscious level and think more positively on an unconscious level. So most people think negatively Unconsciously meaning most of their thoughts on a day-to-day basis are really really stupid and bad and they think positively Consciously, which is not the good thing or the right thing to do because your logic should be negative While you're interstate your confidence should be positive Again, hope that makes sense. Let me know if you have any questions on the topic or you need any specific Example that you're going through that you'd like me to help clarify if you haven't subscribed to the channel yet Please do so now because I will be uploading more of these kind of videos So if you got value from it, definitely like it share it with people tag people Send it on WhatsApp. It helps it a lot And again, thank you for watching and I'll hope to see you soon. Bye. Bye