 Let me just get the door for you. Okay. He got me at the Cheesecake Factory, y'all. Oh, you're not just calling. Uh-uh. Yes. Open the door for you. Okay, okay. Are you recording me? Yeah. Yeah. This is the Cheesecake Factory. This is the Cheesecake Factory, y'all. What's the problem with that? This is a chain restaurant. Who takes someone that looks like this to a chain restaurant? You want to talk about it? I'm fine with talking about it, even in front of them. Oh, yeah, I want to talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. So you expect a man to go all out on the first day. Is that right? I mean, you're supposed to. Look at, I mean, when you take out a beautiful woman and you're courting her because I get courted. So you're courting her, right? You're supposed to take care of her. You're supposed to cover her. You're supposed to protect her, cherish her, treat her well. Right? Yeah. And this is what she's supposed to do. I agree. Not at all. I went into the state with the expectations from myself to keep you safe, you know? To respect you, favorite for your food, of course, pick you up, of course, and just treat you like a gentleman, which I believe I have done. I mean, you've been pretty kind to me, but I mean, she's cake-packed. I, on the other hand, have certain expectations for a girl I go out with on the first date. I expect her to be respectful too. I expect her to be cooperative. What did I do that wasn't cooperative? Well, I mean, like, even like, when we were walking to the car, you wouldn't put your hand around my arm or anything like that, or hold my hand or anything like that. I mean, it's too early for that. Okay. I don't know you. I can respect that. I can respect that. When I got your apartment to pick you up, you didn't want to invite me in. I can respect that too. We're not there. Again, I don't know you yet. Okay? I don't know you yet. And then, but. I mean, I feel like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do as a woman. But I got myself all made up. I'm with the Cheesecake Factory, right? Yes, there's a lot wrong with the Cheesecake Factory. Okay, well, look at, I mean. Look at my planner, where we were gonna go originally. See, now that's, that's where, that's where we should have went. Ari, right there. Call him, call him. No. What do you mean no? See, I told you both yesterday and this morning, that I'd come to pick you up at 4 a.m., at 4 p.m., right? Hmm. Not to your place at 4 p.m. You didn't even come downstairs for another hour. And so I was waiting downstairs for an hour. I understand, yeah. Right? But I wasn't expecting for work to take me so long. I got home a little late. And like I said, I don't know you well enough to invite you up into my apartment. And? That is not possible. And that's why I'm saying, I'm thinking, okay, if we're not there in the relationship to, you know, meet at your apartment, then maybe we're not ready in a relationship for such a nice fancy restaurant as Aria, especially if I'm paying for the whole thing. If we're late, I mean, I told you twice. Late, it wasn't that late. We literally left your place at the time the reservation was supposed to be. And I specifically said for it because maybe we could get there early and even have some time to get to know each other on the way there. And while we're in the parking lot, I'm waiting for a reservation. We can still get to know each other. Isn't there another restaurant you can call that? Like, you know, the equivalent to that? I mean, you don't understand. Look at me. I cannot go in the Cheesecake Factory. As I said, I have very specific certain expectations for now. I can tell it's not gonna be there. So, respectfully, I'm gonna just drop you off at home. I don't know who you're getting at. Yeah, come up. So, you just want to call it a night? I mean, isn't there some kind of compromise or something? Ladies, can you believe this? I mean, I understand that I was late. I understand that. I understand that I could have been a bit more cooperative. You made some good points. That's why I'm willing to compromise. Are you sure you wanna go home? Uh, I don't have a lot of rules. I don't have a lot of expectations for a first date, but I've already said them, and you've broken everyone. So... Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Rout of applause for my... I don't know if it's Indian, Latino. Rout of applause for my brother. This was a master class in not tolerating bullshit. If I had a dollar for every time I've been sent this video today alone, I'd have about $10, but I've been sent this video a lot. I have thoughts. I was originally gonna record a video about a divesting community, a video I came across, and I'll still post that and juxtapose it with a video of a brother who married a white woman who has six kids, and now, you know, they've got three more, so now she has a total of nine kids, and a woman doesn't even respect him. But anyway, let's talk about this. So the first thing that jumps out to me is since I was in college, so at least a decade ago, I've been interviewing women. I've been interviewing men. I've been facilitating dialogue, facilitating conversations, debates, and the whole nine. And typically, when we discuss the gender dynamic, particularly as it pertains to men's grievances with women, the phrase that comes up every single time, and I know you guys have heard this phrase, say it with me, who are these women? I don't know no women like this. My girlfriends ain't like this. I'm not like this. Where do y'all find these women? Now, when the age of social media and the age of shamelessness and the age of I am my own movie star and my own film crew, there is now an abundance of examples of quote-unquote these women. And I'm really happy about it. I think it's a move in the right direction. I think men need to feel heard. Men need to feel seen. And scenarios like this are familiar to a lot of men. Probably brothers watching this have come across dated, courted, quote-unquote, a woman like this, the entitlement, the childishness, the quote-unquote first player energy, the disagreeableness. But it's not until we see this play out that we feel vindicated, we feel validated. Because a lot of men end up feeling like, yo, maybe I'm no problem. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. And I'm just not measuring up in some way, shape or form. But the reality is, it's not right, however you slice it. So let's break this down. So this brother, Latino Indian brother, took this lady to the Cheesecake Factory, apparently this is their first date they've never met before. And she locked the door as he comes over to open his car door to let her out. It's his car. And she's already giving him a preview of what being in a relationship with her is gonna be like. Because again, this is a first date. This is her best behavior. This is her best behavior. Cause she's only gonna get more entitled. She's only gonna get more audacious. This is her best behavior. And I mentioned that because very often a lot of brothers seek sympathy when they end up with women like this and they suffer the consequences, but they didn't pay attention to these very obvious telltale signs. Again, this is her best behavior. It doesn't get better from here. Now shout out to this brother, stood his ground, set guidelines, set expectations and would not tolerate a woman disrespecting him or his boundaries. In the Travis Kelsey case study, I mentioned how a lot of our sisters have been on the let's date outside of our race train. All right, let's go find solace. Let's go find rest in the arms of other men, non-black men. And I've been warning against it because unfortunately a lot of those women are unwilling to work on themselves. So they don't think that they're the problem. They think that the people who they're dealing with are the problem. So I'm not too much. You're just not enough. I don't have a bad attitude. You just can't handle me. And the idea is that white men, Indian men, Asian men, Hispanic men are more equipped to handle them. Now on the side, they also greet those men with better versions of themselves. But eventually the facade cracks. It breaks. But since they've become accustomed to black men like us tolerating nonsense, she expects them to as well. And again, some white guys like that shit. They like being dominated. They like the disrespect. But when it comes to other men, they don't go for it. But again, this is very seldom part of the conversation. And like I've talked about as well, the whole coffee date phenomenon, women saying that they're too good for coffee dates. And I've been telling men, this is red flag number one. And for women says she's too good for a coffee date. And it's the first time you guys are meeting. And coffee again, it's not about the coffee. It's just about a cheap, inexpensive, let's get to know each other situation without a high overhead. If she is unwilling to do that, there's nothing else for you guys to discuss. Because that is a tell-tale sign. This is an entitled woman. This is a woman who believes that she's God's gift to everything. This is a woman who is incapable of respecting you because she really deep down doesn't respect herself. She sees herself as a commodity. As you can see in this video, she kept referencing I can't go to the cheesecake factory because look at how I look. I look too good to go to the cheesecake factory, AKA in exchange for my aesthetic beauty and my sex appeal, I am entitled to X amount of money and this type of experience, she's for sale. And obviously she's not gonna frame it that way, but that's really what it is. And unfortunately, because a lot of us black men are sexually undisciplined, we will tolerate and compromise ourselves to death just to get a peek at her boobs, just to get a slice of pussy. And if there's anything we can learn from this brother, is at the end of the day, she has no choice but to respect him because he's stood on his ground. There's a chance in the social media age, this whole thing might be staged. They might be trying to prove a point because a lot of her demeanor is over the top. She got the purple lipstick with the green tank top with the titties out and this and it could just be a prank, but I think the lesson still stands. And what's hilarious is she's the one in an attempt to make him look stupid, pulling out her camera and recording this scenario, she doesn't even realize that she's making herself look terrible. Like he said, she was late. So even if he was gonna take her to a better place, she was late. Number two, she pulls out a phone and starts recording and is more engaged with the camera phone than the person that she's with. And obviously she's gonna call it a security measure, whatever the case may be, but the best security that you can have is being alert. This isn't being alert, this is being a child. This is being a teenager. What really drives the point home is, she talks about courting. I saw a video clip the other day of Tia Mairi talking about the dating pool has P in it and where the men who court. And the first thought that popped into my mind is, never in history have women over the age of 40 been courted. Never in history have women over the age of 40 been courted. Women over the age of 40 are usually already wives, worst case scenario, they're widows. But that's not courting. Courting is during chivalry and you've talked to her father and all that good stuff and you've gone through all the processes, you've been vetted, the families are vetted and that's courting. This new shit where I want you to perform for me, we need to call it what it is. It's not, they're not looking for courting, they're looking for a performance. Because even in Tia Mairi's case, she's not looking to be married again. And courting was a catalyst to marriage. And it's clear even this lady is definitely not looking to be married. Number one, she's not a spring chicken. Number two, her presentation alone tells you and her disposition tells you that she's too immature for long-term relationships. And I bet if you had a conversation with her, she would frame it as if all the men that she's been with have been terrible men. When the reality is she was the common denominator that she insisted on overlooking. Or maybe it was too incompetent to even see her own bullshit. A lot of this new age femininity, I call it performative femininity. It's not real. And I think the makeup is a good indicator of that. So when you see a drag show for instance, it is men who are dressed up like women, they're performing femininity. And part of that performance is over accentuating every aspect of recognizable femininity. They put on hip pads, they put on fake boobs, they put on the big ass eyelashes, they put on the bright pop lipstick and the bright big hair and the over-the-top outfit and they switch extra hard when they walk. It's performative femininity because real femininity is subtle. Now, I don't think it's a coincidence that a lot of those aspects that used to be relegated to drag shows are now mainstream. And especially in our community, our women are wearing the big over-the-top eyelashes and the big over-the-top hair that's not theirs and the over-the-top makeup and over accentuating their bosoms and their butts and revealing every aspect of their skin because since they don't know how to actually embody authentic femininity, the only thing they know how to do, just like drag queens, is to accentuate the performance of femininity, the appearance of femininity, pseudo femininity, pseudo sexuality. Bottom line, fellas, like I've been saying, we create the women we love to complain about and I think this is a perfect example. Unfortunately, too many brothers are not even in practice with enforcing their boundaries. Unfortunately, it's because a lot of our mothers didn't even allow us to have boundaries. So maybe this happens and you say you're gonna take her home but after that first kind of apology, you'll be like, okay, I guess we can go somewhere else. After she softens a little bit, you say, okay, I guess, I understand, just don't do it again. But unfortunately, it's not until, number one, we stop taking out women, because they're telltale signs, even whether they met on the dating app or Instagram, whatever the case may be. She's probably the girl who has her titties in every picture that she posts or she's doing a little hip pose to accentuate her butt. 10 times out of 10, she typically embodies the same disposition. So you shouldn't even get to the point of taking her out in the first place. And then let's say you do. Some of us, because we're horny, because we're prioritizing sexual gratification, we overlook the conversations we have over the phone, the conversations we have via text message. Girl is texting slow. She has nothing to contribute to the conversation. She's a dry conversationalist and we still opt to, okay, let me take you out. As if it's going to get better. It does not get better, fellas. So number one, do your vetting. Before you even decide to slide in the DMs or match on a dating app or approach in the street, do your vetting, do your due diligence. Just observe first. And don't be led by your penis because he doesn't know what he's talking about. And what I had to do is I had to start conceptualizing women from the perspective of I've already had sex with her. Would I still like her? Would I still wanna be around her during her time of the month? That's how you have to think about it, fellas. Because when shit blows up, I ain't gonna have no sympathy for you. Because as sheisty as women are capable of being, they are not all Oscar-winning actresses. Often we just tend to overlook the bullshit that they show us until it's too late. Now, part of the reason why I'm not black-pilled or super red-pilled and things like that is because I'm fortunate enough to have women in my life that there is mutual love and there's mutual respect. And often I send them stuff like this too because they also have that same, who are these women? So I sent it to a female friend of mine and this is what she said. She said, this is ridiculous. Is this a skit? I can't take this seriously. She has on purple lipstick, a green top with her tits everywhere, and lamb chop puppet eyelashes. I'm not sure where she thinks she's fit to be taken to. So then I said, you sound red-pilled. And she said, if this is all I dealt with, I might join up their ranks because what in the actual hell? This is pure fuckery. I would like to know where exactly she wanted to go. She has pissed me off. And then I said, the core of it is the gaslighting and dismissal most men experience. Thankfully, these days people tell on themselves with video evidence. Then she said, well, if no one else has told you or if you don't hear it enough, not that you're a red-pilled consumer, I believe you, I'm listening to you. I'm sorry for all the shitty things you've had to experience and I love you. There are real women out there, fellas. Unfortunately, we keep leading with our dicks and we keep incentivizing these bullshit-ass women. And now we use them to over-represent the female delegation. And the same goes for women. Women keep incentivizing fuckboys and then use those fuckboys to over-represent the male delegation. Let's start adding some nuance to these conversations, fellas. Let's start adding some nuance to these conversations, ladies, and let's reconcile and move forward as a community. Like, share, subscribe. See y'all in the next one. Peace.