 Pretend this is your nutsack. Oh my god. I don't know if anyone's done a squeeze directly on to the nutsack I think it's usually into the hand and I'm smathering and welcome. These are your balls Jim's gonna lick my balls Do it does do this whole show with that I'm gonna do whole show with that. Oh, yeah My name is Jimmy his name is Jake and this is the weekly dumb We spent the all-star break in Denver with the all-stars playing blitz ball Front-law in games. We went to the home run derby where Trevor Ploove shit talk some kids and Lost a ball to Zach Campbell Jake. How are you doing Chris Rose was there all of our people was there? My voice is still raspy, baby. Yeah I'm good, man. I have some of the manscape crop gel all over my hands Just pretend they are a nice cleanly shaved pair of testicles And I will be doing the whole show as if my left hand is a pair of testicles I do it was fun I do a lot of shows as if your left hand is a pair of testicles enough about us Let's get the desk. Oh, he's hiding it. Let's get to the news and we're gonna start out with the sports Jake, can you give us the sports report Jimmy? You know, I'm a big sports guy and everyone is talking about the NBA playoffs that Yannis alley you don't care Jim the real story Air horse ones. We are flying horses to Tokyo for the Olympics 325 horses specialized cargo planes for the Olympics and the Paralympics. How about that one of those things where You read it and you go, ah I've watched the Olympics my whole life I never once thought how'd they get all the horses there right and they got a special plane and they're just fans They're not competing. No, these are the competition horses And I wonder if they fuck as much as the athletes, you know how they always say the Olympic Village has tons of condoms Is this airplane ride nothing but horses Messing around you know, this is genuinely not a joke The only reason I want to be an Olympian was to go to the Olympic Village and just watch it happen You don't want to take partake. You just want to watch You want to just sit in the lobby where the bowl of condoms were and just see Gymnast and basketball player. Okay, we've got a biathlete and a horse I've always been interested in like in the in the in the most frequent combo If they had analytics on analytics like the biggest combo is the volleyball team and the Skeet shooters like whoa the horses in the planes Do you think it's like race horses and then like the show horses and then do you think they categorize the plane? Don't divvy up the horses on the plane You just think you just horses in the front ugly horses in the back So the horses are all traveling to the Olympics excited Olympics are coming up Jim We'll probably talk about it on here imagine like the one dude like the like the three humans that are in that plane Modering the horses and they're just like it's awful man. They're just It smells like manure and horses fucking each other silly. They've made so many horseshit jokes He just walks around with his thing groom in all the horses manscaped You know what I always thought manscaped how come you guys don't have a commercial where you shave The statue of David's pubes Hey, Zach put statue of David right here and now Now I'm shaving his pubes and now the statue of David's and my manscape make that out That's a good one. You know Jim weren't you telling me about the not sports in this? Fiasco, I know I say it a lot one of my favorite not sports stories in a while I'm I was surprised how excited you were for this story So a Michigan man started tearing down his let me get the facts right the facts right no one cares about this fact at all Yeah, okay. He was making a new patio. That's the word. I wanted I was gonna say deck and he found he found 160 bowling balls. Oh, yeah, and he says that he thinks there's 160 more under there. He just needs Yeah, it's actually he is He's asking to go fund me to like read dig out more and I don't like that but some of the bowling balls are from The 1950s some are recent. Yeah, nobody knows why this wasn't like a bowling alley I really hope this story if they were to do history on it would be the guy who lived there Stole a ball from the alley every time he went and just put it under his porch Like in stand by me when he buried the jar full of coins underneath the porch and then he just went bowling a lot No, but this is cool Jim I mean to find a graveyard of an inanimate object in your house is so I completely get where you're coming from It's the it's the discovery factor and it this is like this feels like a mad libs like you found a hundred sixty Bowling balls on your house. The only part I don't like how into it This guy is because a he said the double up like I think there's another one 60 It's like all right You're just kind of being obnoxious and then the line I hate here He says it became mind-blowing a few of them looked like And it's like you know what they looked like bowling balls, dude All of them if you saw an alien if you saw an egg, dude, what are you talking about? I didn't read the alien egg line you see an alien egg you say that looks like a bowling ball That's your frame of reference. You're a human on earth Oh, well these bowling balls as smooth as Jake's balls both of them Shaved with manscaped you covered in it dumb 20. Oh, I'm 20 I'm 20 be as smooth as the bowling balls that this dude found Jake What's the next story that you want to talk about Jim the story that I can't get out of my mind? Are we labeling this anything is this just part of not sports the next story? We'll just label this the next story the next story. I didn't know are you back? Next story crossed out and says someone not as dark Jim animal control officers And you know I'm into this kind of ish actually you're probably nervous about this one Officers untangle owl and turtles stuck together in Virginia now This is so as excited as you are about the bowling ball. I get as excited about this I love animals and I don't want to know the details because I'm picturing them being very happy together Jim you're kind of being rude and everyone's thinking it and you need to think of it because you can't do it Admit it. You can't do it. I will admit you can't right now. I can't admit Unlocked the secret failure is your only option the Jimmy O'Brien story Jim owl and turtles stuck together You have to say something because you can't do that, but I'll do it for you That's not what you're trying to do I was trying to say something about the story I mean we want to draft animals that should be friends that aren't and I and I never once thought owl and turtle and Let's go. I got it over my head Nice nice I watched this video and the video is pretty dissatisfying because the turkey don't really see they don't zoom in at all Where are you trying to zoom in on on these two animals stuck together? Here's what here's my real thing if the turtles alive The owl isn't stuck to the turtle the turtle has caught the owl and is holding it hostage if the turtles dead Then the owl Got stuck inside a dead turtle and killed it. So you think the turtles the weak creature here It's up for debate. I think the turtle might have caught the owl their best friends And they have a new show on the John Boy needy of network to Turtles in the file Turtles foul tune in would you rather hook up with turtle hour three two one turtle? Yeah softer Well owl talons of the owl and kill you staircase the staircase The staircase doc. Oh, oh It's the employee of the week. Oh, it's the employee of the week. It's the employee who has feet You know, it's the employee who's asleep, but do you know Jesus Chris because we got two of them Chris? Oh, all the Chris's mostly Chris Rose and Chris Chris from ops. Oh my god I don't know if he wants his name out there I've been watching these Pittsburgh pirates are the worst team I've ever seen All the Chris's man all in a nice week both the Chris's were huge for our Denver trip Um Reinvented reinvented clapping. That's how you clap loud at a high school. If you're a dad at a high school graduation And you know, well you want to clap a little louder for your kid Use the brochure or whatever they give you manscaped dumb 20 also shave your pubes before you go to your kids graduation I have to feel good about it. I mean, that's a sex night. That's a big dad sex night your kid graduates. I'm mom Weekly Support for this show was brought to you by manscaped get 20% off plus free shipping with the code dumb 20 at manscape.com That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code dumb 20 at manscape.com tame the summer swamp in your pants That's what they've been referring to Jake's dick for a while the swamp Girls come out from the party. Yeah, I got caught in the swamp again. They don't want to I Don't think any of these guys are gonna be in team next year. I can't watch this