 I was inspired by my girlfriend to make a video about the subject of just how strong we can be for the people that we love and How further we can actually go When there's someone that we're fighting with or for rather than by ourselves So most of my life I Spent fighting I was fighting mostly depression and These emotions of anxiety and low self-esteem the need to prove that I am worthy of something the need to prove that I am worthy of love and I fought these battles alone. So I intentionally stayed away from Getting connected to people. I was a very because I was considered a very people person and my Girlfriend was actually very surprised when I told her that I'm not a trusting person. I'm actually a very non-trusting person in my core and Because that's simply the the kind of what I project that I'm very trusting and very friendly and you know, just very nonchalant with people and Let them do what they do, you know So that's the impression I was giving and people considered me a very very trusting person But whenever I would get close to someone be it my best friend at the time or any relationship I would usually get very narcissistic and neurotic and anxious and jealous and scared so it's a It's a very weird dichotomy how you're like a very trusting person But you only trust the people that can't hurt you, which I don't know if that's really Trust, you know, okay, you could say it's trust, but it's not vulnerability. So the problem was with vulnerability and Whenever I'm actually vulnerable I go nuts like I've become obsessive and very Like very very paranoid. So I have to like check up on everything, you know, not all the time it comes and goes but Yeah, like it gets pretty bad and especially since I shift every couple of months from being kind of in a in a good mood and very happy and Then to you know, a month or two or three of being depressed. So I was really struck in the last few days by Very acute depression It always starts out as sort of a mania. So it always starts out as Feeling really really energetic like you know in an unhealthy way and like I'm fed up and it's time for change now And and it's it's it has to be the time for change and it has to be now and what I realized is absolute so Yeah, it's it was very clear like at this point. I'm I easily recognize When I'm in that mood and I easily recognize that I'm gonna feel depressed in the next few days So going back to my story the depression came just a couple of days ago and Brought with it the horrible things that I usually accompany it starting with low self-esteem obsessional fear Jealousy Restlessness inability to sleep lack of motivation Everything like it's it's really really bad and it kind of feels bad to be in your skin Like you just you just want to escape not be where you are at all I mean, it's bloody brutal to be honest. It's just fucking brutal like to change as a person so quickly from a very confident person who isn't really afraid of anything and able to lead and be an emotional rock for other people and turn into this mush Who is emotionally not very stable easily offended hypersensitive lacks motivation it literally feels like you've been stripped of all your good qualities But I would like to emphasize on a very important note that Even when you're severely depressed No matter where you are in life You can still maintain Virtues which is arguably the most important thing in life because your virtues or what Saves you in tough times For example a person who's not honest in tough times and get begins to lie to people to get what he wants He will not survive tough times because he deep down He knows that he will always resort to lying So the virtues of what saves you and you can always be virtuous So you can always be honest and courageous and truthful and loving and people truly admire these Regardless of being in a really good position in life for example wealth and abundance or if you are in a very bad position in life of scarcity and weakness know we maybe even Appreciate the virtuous that come from pain and Scarcity more than the virtuous that come from abundance for example Bill Gates Helped pretty much eradicate. I think 30 or 40 percent of all diseases in Africa At least a few very major ones and most people don't even know that because well He's rich and people focus on that and not on his deeply philanthropic work Well someone like Nelson Mandela who spent 27 years in prison For political actions. It's not very Often mentioned that he was sort of a terrorist and he took part in bombings of people for his political cause but irregardless he is highly admired for coming out of 27 years in prison as very peaceful and Loving man and again, even though he did run in Africa to the ground financially, but that's another story so I'm lying in bed and I'm very tired, but I can't fall asleep There's deep anxiety within me and it feels horrible to be in my body and I can't stop obsessing about relationships and about people that I care about and Fearing losing them it's it's it's horrible. It's simply hopeless, but I Managed to actually get out of it to some extent and The way I did it I'm afraid it wasn't from deep wisdom or Or you know my Philosophical teachings it was a combination of listening to my intuition plus some luck so the two foundations of how People can make us stronger and how we can tap into that power They're first of all Having someone to fight for and secondly It's reaching out to people who will fight for you Which is exactly what I did so the first thing was to fight for my girlfriend and not allow myself to sink into Pity basically because she needed me and I wanted to be there for her which gave me an Inner strength like some sort of a cap or a limit to how deep down I'm Willing to go and when you don't have that person Who you want to fight for you need to be strong for You there's no depth to how low you can sink because you're only fighting for yourself so if you sink who cares you know so people care about you but you don't really care about them because you allow yourself to sink and It's a really really important point that you have an obligation to find someone or something To fight for something that you'll fight for no matter what and it could be a family member It could be someone you love like a relationship. It could even be a business or an idea But ideally you want someone to fight for that's why almost every single successful person in any Western country is married or has a spouse because Having said that someone that we want to get rich for or we want to succeed for or we want to be strong for That makes all the difference. You do things you can never imagine you're able to do When you have someone who you deeply care about now the other thing a second thing was reaching out to people who love you so It just came as a flash of intuition Essentially what happened was my girlfriend really really wanted to go to sort of like salsa night with a friend of hers and She really wanted me to come because things have been pretty damn hectic with her life lately And there wasn't a lot of time for fun and just going wild But I was in the worst position because I didn't want to say yes I just felt like not doing anything just sinking and feeling sorry for myself and She really needed that while on the other hand if I said no, I would Eat myself up with the guilt thinking I should have been there. I should have You know been with her through this so stuck between two diametrically Opposed horrors one of which was shame and guilt about not being a good partner and the other one being Suffering and depression in a situation where most people have fun usually and The risk of me simply Slouching and starting to cry or something Which was a very feasible risk at the time and I could not make a decision for the life of me I could not decide what to do. So we agreed. We'll just see what happens and I Woke up feeling terrible a couple of hours after that but Suddenly I had this intuition to talk to people talk to friends people who deeply care about me and Want the best for me people who have helped a lot in the past who also helped me in the past and I Told them what's going on in a simple message and the content was something like I'm depressed. I feel horrible. I need your help. I need someone to talk to and I was immediately showered with positivity and just good vibes from those people those friends of mine and All of them just said hey look let's meet up as soon as you can Come on come by talk to us and that thing that Thing where you have people that want to hear your story and they want to hear what you're going through Of course, of course, this advice isn't for everybody because some people are just Wimpish, you know, some people are just victims and that's all they do all the time It's just talk about how miserable they are and how shitty their life is and how horrible other people are so I'm not talking Hopefully to someone like that. I'm assuming you're like me You're a very hard-working person a very generous person a very good person, but you have a lot of trouble asking for help now the moment that I did that and reached out Immediately a huge burden was lifted off of me because just relying on my partner my girlfriend to Be there and to be that support just didn't feel right to me and it's very fickle, you know, because you know with men and women and It's hard to be dependent on Just one person to take care of your needs because they have their own life, but of course you can Take the most support from your partner, but you must also have some sort of a Other pillars of support from friends and family So I literally just talk to them talk to my family let everybody know that I'm not in good shape at this time and Again, the support was really amazing, especially Given that I'm not very I'm not a type of person that asks for help usually and Again and not where I can be vulnerable so I'm perfectly willing to ask for help with my business or with anything that you know, I could take it or lose it but Something like, you know, I'm having really tough time. I need to talk to you about that Well, that's kind of a the other side of the line for me And I must say I feel really good Relative to how I felt earlier. It's a major major improvement and You know just getting that support It really makes all the difference Especially for someone like me, you know where I feel alone at times because I'm not really the type of person to share These kinds of things. So imagine my surprise when I text one of my good friends and I tell him that I'm depressed and he has help and he just texts me back with an audio message and he's like Robbie I love you, man. I'm gonna make you feel really happy, you know I'm gonna call you in a moment and I'm gonna shoot your mood to the sky and you're gonna be so happy like You know getting all that positive energy and you know, the other type of friends are like come let's talk about it Let's Let's discuss it, you know, we're here for you. So I get all types of support and of course my lovely girlfriend who is an incredible partner and Will do anything she can to help me just like I'll do anything I can to help her in all the most creative and Loving ways possible, which again makes really all the difference So here are the two main things that you can do to combat and stifle Depression the first one is to find someone to fight for it doesn't even have to be someone It can be something. I know religious people are statistically much more Peaceful they have much more wholesome marriages and in general people who deeply believe in God and that again unnecessarily in a particular religion, but just the concept of God Tend to take life in a much better proportion because they also look at the afterlife. So a faith in God could Could be something to fight for which again, it's a bane on the atheists and the agnostics where you don't really have Anyone to fight for Except yourself and other people because you don't really believe in anything higher than you You know, you just believe in evolution and which is a fact, of course But I mean the only thing you know is evolution and you know, the universe is a cold dark place so Yeah, just that nihilism will really destroy you When you're depressed you could also be fighting for a cause Which means for example fighting for Poor people and I don't mean like, you know, welfare for all. I mean Help real helping people like helping kids from rough backgrounds or feeding the poor You know your style of charity or help so this kind of thing really puts the focus on somebody else instead of you and If you'll notice that's actually the theme here regarding the first tool or principle for overcoming depression You have to have something or someone that makes you put your focus on that thing rather than on you And again, that could be God that could be a cause or that could be a family member or a friend or A relationship somebody that you love romantically But there has to be that element to where there's something anything that is more important than Yourself now. I'm not saying you're your partner's bitch or just not don't have self-esteem So they're more important than you but I think it is kind of the way it should work is you have two People in a relationship. So they both value each other At least as much as they value themselves if not more and when it's mutual It's beautiful because it's two people that take care of each other and help build up each other So there's always that Benefit of both of you growing Which again should be the same with everything you do like any cause Whether it be a charity or your devotion to God. It has to be but mutually beneficial So it's not just giving you have to get at least as much as you give In proportional sums or else you just can't sustain it So that's the first principle or the first tool now the second one is Again reaching for the people who Will help you who will be there for you who love you who want the best for you And if you don't have these people then I would strongly suggest you sit down and ask yourself first of all if that's really true because I think most of the time is just a lie that we tell ourselves to Affirm our belief that people don't actually Love us and because we just never tested it But if it is actually true, which is again highly unlikely I would sit down with myself and ask myself if The reason is that I'm just not social enough. So it just you don't go out enough You don't meet enough people in social circles Or if the problem is in a character in your character because you are not a person whom people actually want to be around And that's a completely different issue Which is kind of a too much of a broad topic to discuss in this one video, but I will definitely discuss it in the future so this is how I at least very much benefited myself through this depression and very much relieved what I was going through and still I'm going through and I highly recommend if you didn't use these two tools yet to Use them if you're not depressed at the moment But you're watching this then I would recommend that you set up these tools ahead of time So don't wait until you get depressed to find something to fight for or someone to ask help from Make sure you have these people before you're depressed and make sure you have something that you deeply care about before That happens in summary. I'm still depressed. I'm still blue. I still feel insecure I'm still not sure what's going on or what's going to happen with me but at least I have someone that is worth fighting for and at least I have people That know about the situation and have my back if I need them and an interesting point that just came to my head is that these two tips are Actually beneficial to any crisis situation So if you find yourself Facing any crisis for example, you're in debt or You're facing an illness of the body not just the mind these two things are crucial to get over it and they increase your chance of overcoming it vastly because who are we in In these situations, if we don't have Someone to fight for and people that fight for us. I really don't know So I'll leave you with that note. I'll keep you updated regarding my own situation. I deeply appreciate the support and the messages and the comments and I guess I'll talk to you in the next video if you're new, please subscribe for more Robby content and if you're not then just keep following and I'll be here