 Dave van der Hoff wants us to do 1987's rock and roll nightmare Would you get out of my bed? Hello and welcome to another edition of frightfully forgotten horror movies But before we kick off, what are we drinking? We're drinking the dark crystal Munich Dunkle. Mmm. Yeah today We're gonna be talking about 1987's Canadian straight-to-video horror movie rock-in-roll Nightmare also known as the edge of hell the movie was directed by John Fasano And he was a script doctor for movies like diehard with vengeance in tombstone just to name two notable ones John Mikkel Thor is in this too. He plays the main character with the blonde the nice flowing blonde hair big long Most people would recognize him from being the lead singer of the Canadian metal band Thor Rock-in-roll nightmare starts off at this family living in a farmhouse and the mom's making breakfast trying to get the kid down Come on breakfast is ready not yet Get your ass down here lame ass dads all Shaving he hears his wife screaming the kitchen so he runs down to see what happened and no one's in there The kitchen is empty. So for some reason the first place he checks is the oven That's what you always check. Yeah, and this skeleton comes out of the oven It then cuts to this van going down the highway with all this metal music playing And this scene goes on for quite some time the music then changes to like this more synth music And it's like super long like just minutes long The van shows up at this farmhouse the doors open and all these guys start coming out You find out it's a band that's come to this farmhouse to do a recording and rehearsal To write their new album this band's name is Triton and their lead singer is Triton and that is Thor They got the long blonde hair They all have their women with them Yeah, and they also have like their manager with them manager starts talking to this groundskeeper Yeah, I got the keys for me and the groundskeeper keeps droning on Oh, yeah, well sorts of bands come here to record, you know Alice Glooper Yeah, yeah, yeah Alice Cooper. Yeah that Bob Stewart was here to guys getting all the names wrong the band starts rehearsing in the barn the women are all watching and oh, yeah Why would they get super dressed up like that to just rehearse the 80s man? Well the rehearsing you see this weird monster thing this weird one-eyed penis-looking thing It goes over to this like drink and Gobs all this gobb into this drink the drummer ends up breaking a drumstick So the manager guy has to go down into the basement to go get a new Set for him and one of the girls is down there kind of waiting for him You know how to make a woman hot to start seducing him and everything of course she takes off her shit top You know and he doesn't know what to make of it and right away She turns into a monster and takes a big chunk out of his neck So everybody notices that he actually is in fact missing, but they just figure well. He's gone to town to get drumsticks. Yeah In the meantime, they kind of finished their rehearsal and they just start relaxing and Just go to bed basically all of them. They think they're all tired And they got some lame-ass band what kind of rock band is this just go to bed or reading in bed and shit like They be partying and like drinking and fuck they are screwing a lot though All of them seem to be getting it on except for that four guys Two into all his work Whatever the fuck he's even doing the Australian guy with his horrible accent He goes to the bathroom and there's this woman that shows up behind him And you just see her arm reach out and you hear him scream so they rehearse again and They take a break and the Australian guy and his girlfriend they go for a walk around this pond and it's all freezing out too You can see like their breath. It's all cold But he kind of wants to get it on with her. She's like what right here. It's like God's not very romantic Or anything he unbutton's his shirt and this hand comes out of his chest in the taxer, which is pretty cool Actually, so one at a time basically these monsters in this house start picking the band members off one by one Until there's just Thor left and he's got to do battle with the big bad That's where we're gonna end the plot so if you want to find out what happens to Thor keep watching 1987's rock-and-roll nightmare, but is it trash or treasure? So let's start with the treasure Mm-hmm. We're really gonna have to grasp at straws here. We had a tough time To say that the establishing shots were very nice And not even that many of just like one Really grasp in here So he has the establishing shots at the farmhouse look pretty nice. Yeah some nice blue light It's okay. It's alright the incidental score so like all the background music and stuff. That's not the band playing It's actually pretty good, but it's all super loud like can't hear the dialogue like the music's too loud So that's another good thing about this movie if you like this sort of thing. There's some boobs in it I mean there's boobs. They're nice boobs. Yeah, at least they kind of went there a little bit And some of the effects are pretty good like the hand come out of the guy's chest. It's a pretty good effect Yeah, some of the monsters look not too bad. Mm-hmm, but that'll bring us to the trash They're also not very good though, too, right? They're very like second-hand looking basically and they're sort of flea market Like those puppet things like they look kind of cute and all but it's not very good It looks scary like your puppet monster things like yeah, they're kind of cute, but they also look really cheap The monster that Thor has to fight at the end of the devil thing. Yeah, that looks fucking horrendous It's so bad. It's like you couldn't do something better than this. They're all delicate with it It's just gonna fall apart It's all like super like choppy and like Like what the fuck also you don't see enough of the kills too Which would go kind of hand-in-hand with the effects right if they showed more of the kill they could possibly show more Gore maybe more effect of some kind, but they don't show anything. They just cut it leaves you wanting Yeah, it leaves you wanting to see what happened. Yeah, and a movie like this like a cheesy schlocky Straight-to-video horror movie. Yeah. Yeah, you don't cut it out. Exactly. You need it Yeah, you need it as part of the whole Recipe, you know, there is zero plot in this movie. I kept thinking like what is what is this about? Yeah What's happening? Nothing is happening and they're not explaining Why these monsters are in this farmhouse where they came from why they're killing why people are suddenly Turning into monsters too. Also why they may not be like that scene where that Puppet thing spits all that shit into the cup then the guys drinks it and it's like so I thought he was gonna Turn into a monster or something. What was the point of all of that? Nothing happened. There's a lot of stuff in here. You don't need well first of all most the movie is just the band Rehearsing so that's pointless. That's not plot Then there's all these pointless shots like that chicken Thor goes into the fridge to get something and it just shows this chicken Turn around these teeth. Yeah, and then that's it never see it again Like what was the point of that shot? Yeah, the haunted chicken and it doesn't it doesn't attack him or anything He just closes the door to the fridge and that's it This movie definitely needed some sort of an explanation as to what the fuck is all these Monsters are the acting for this movie just plain sucks Is horrid it goes kind of hand-in-hand with the dialogue that they have to speak to it's written horribly So Randy and I are in the master bedroom, and there's a smaller bedroom for Roger and Mary And the characters are fucking lame like lame like these characters are boring and lame It's a rock band. They should be cool. They should be fun and partying and y'all just go to bed and read like yeah like there's no Nothing fun is happening besides the band playing But then like well the band kind of fucking sucks man. It's horrible. Yeah There's another piece of trash and there's a band Triton fuck man like the music is generic as hell and the lyrics Oh my god fucking cheesy as hell easy and just lame and I just their chorus over and over There's no like verses or anything energy You keep me fed then you put me to bed There's a reason why most people don't know who Thor is And that's pretty much what this movie is because Thor was a producer on this It's just a vehicle for him to show himself off to show off his music and to get with all these broads Yeah, the movies all are getting laid all the time and yeah, that's super long scene in the shower Yeah, but it it's awkward Sticking his tongue out Some of the worst on-screen kissing I've ever seen in my life Yeah, I can just well imagine what once the camera shut off like give me the fuck out of here Not only can this Thor guy not act. He can't even like kiss. Yeah Even pretend to get laid in the shower like fuck the pacing too because not much happens in this movie besides them sleeping having sex or Rehearsing nothing happens in between so the pacing is like totally off It feels way longer than it should and a movie short too I know less than an hour and a half and it seems like it's super long because you have to sit through all these songs Like one thing if they show the band rehearsing and it's just like you know a little snippet of the song But it's the whole yeah, you got to sit through like all the Socks and nothing's happening like you don't even see anything happen in the background this interesting or nothing Did you just watch the band play another piece of trash is that guys horrible fucking fake accent? Oh? Yeah, oh lord. I couldn't pinpoint it. Really. It's like it's supposed to be adds like are you trying to be? Australian English Hey, really mate. What are we supposed to do here? And maybe get why they did it to showcase that he's been taken over by a demon, so then he stopped surely round Let's take a walk in the woods Why would your accent just stop yeah They couldn't afford any effects to like make them look possessed with makeup So they just said just change your accent and you're possessed And you can tell that they really tried stretching Seams out longer in this movie to maximize the runtime Which hurt the pacing yeah that drive in the beginning when they're driving to the farmhouse It's literally like four minutes long of driving Yeah, you just exterior shot of this van down the highway in this synth music playing It's like okay, like there's not even credits really It's like just wrap it up get to wherever the fuck you're gonna go already like And the final fight scene of this movie is just horrible like it should be the big pay-off Yeah, that's oh yeah, especially when you sit through garbage like this You want to fucking wicked pay off for an ending so this demon thing this the horrible looking demon It looks like it's put together like bunch of sausage links or something shows up and Triton's like not even scared. Oh hello Bob. Yeah. Yeah, it's like isn't that the name that you go by? What are the other names he's like? It's like okay, so I guess you find out that he was all put on the earth to do battle with this demon Then suddenly like it turns into some super hero. He's all muscular He's like 80s super hair is all teased goes to do battle with this fucking demon and If you could call it a battle they literally hold each other for like five minutes at the last song And it's just the camera kind of following them around will they kind of do this and the thing that demon thing throws all those Starfish things It's all slow motion He's all wiping the grease off So what kind of weapons are we gonna use here in this fight well the demon's gonna throw starfish Like who thought of that fucking idea how about fire like Or like a real weapon a sword or something that fucking Hit them and they don't do it Tell that they made this fucking dummy thing so poorly where they didn't want it to break and that's probably why the fights He's literally holding the thing together. I don't know you know how to explain nothing to feel good about when it's over You're not like hooray. Yeah, you're like you're like Okay, you beat up a fucking blow up doll like yeah And then now he's walking real walking around in some cemetery What is that like what? 1987's rock and roll nightmare trash or treasure is so bad. It's good or is it just plain bad It's just plain trash is what it is. Yeah, I'd hate to say it is trash It's not quite bad enough to be a good bad. Yeah, it's just kind of a bad bad Yeah, even though I did laugh a bunch like it was entertaining in its badness But it wasn't so bad where it was like, oh man, I can't wait to watch this again Yeah, there's nothing redeeming about this movie at all and nothing rewatchable about it It's like I can I can do without this movie. Oh, I don't ever have to watch it again I'm good when the only redeeming things about this movie is the fact the groundskeeper kind of like pushes Toronto, Canada as being the hip place to record in the 80s, which it kind of was but why Canada Because Toronto's where it's happening man And actually that piece of dialogue between the groundskeeper and the manager is okay. Yeah, it's all right It's okay in a big pile of shit, but it's still it's it may be okay But it's still hard to watch too because the acting is so horrible. It's like oh man. It's it's uncomfortable Yeah, and they put built a recording studio there 24 Yeah, I have the keys here good and um Well, I wanted to tell you something so if you're looking forward just a stupid schlocky movie You can have fun and laugh at and not even have to pay attention to throw on rock-and-roll nightmare But if that's not your bag then fucking leave it alone exactly And until next time keep drinking You