 I have a history of going for the red flags and the wrong type. This video's already gone viral. So I thought maybe my problem is I don't give the green flags a try. And I had this theory that like, so I've heard before that if you meet someone and you get instant butterflies, that's actually a red flag and you shouldn't trust the butterflies. And I'm like, well, that makes sense because I've had some butterflies for some dumb motherfuckers. So I was like, okay, maybe, I'm always waiting to feel an instant connection and maybe I'm like, maybe I should just give someone a chance and see if the connection builds. Like, and I was like, oh, I'm gonna try this crazy thing where I actually get to know someone before I fuck them. And during the little courting period, he started sending me poems, which at first I thought was cute in hindsight is cringe. Anyway, so one of these poems he did refer to himself as the green flag guy. And they were quite, they got at first they were like cute. Then they started getting suggestive. And I was like, oh, this guy is actually, cause I thought this guy was probably maybe a bit frigid or something cause he didn't try anything the first time. And then his poems were quite like referred to what he was going to do in the bedroom and made himself sound really confident in the bedroom. So I was like, oh, this is quite surprising. Like he must be pretty good if he's gonna. Time to walk the walk boy. Exactly, he did not walk the walk. It was, so I decided to like, let's just do this. I'm gonna go there. Even though I still hadn't felt the really strong attraction yet. And then it went there and it was fucking terrible. Welcome back to the Sevo show. We are here with a guest that has been on the show before back in May, 2021 or probably June sometime when I actually put it live. But we have Nikki Valentine. That is actually her real name too. Her stage name is it goes around different names all the time depending on which creep she's talking to. But she's an absolute goddess. She's got some tattoos. And if you're listening only on the Spotify or the Apple podcast, definitely hit up the YouTube if you like your girls with tats. Cause she's a ripper. Thanks for coming in. Thanks for having me. Just correct you there. Nikki Valentine is a stage name. So it started off as my stripper name. Damn it. He told me, oh gosh. That was my stripper name. Then it became a comedy name. My real name is Nikki Justice. Yes. Now, if you go back to the first episode, do you remember you saying the same thing? So thanks. But yeah, it's a good stage name. And well, I'm born on Valentine's Day. That's where I got it from. There it is. So last time we had a chat, you were only just about to step into the world of stand up. Yes. I think I might have done my first open mic at that point when we did the podcast. Yeah. But literally like one or two tops. Yeah. Now I'm still doing stand up. And I wasn't sure if I would stick at it back then because I wasn't sure how it was going to go, but it's been going really well. You having fun? Yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm sorry. What's been your, yeah, fuck yeah. That's good. You can say that one. What has been your highlight so far? Oh, my favorite gig that I've done. So the highlight of doing comedy is always when you're crushing on stage and the audience reaction just feels amazing. And my favorite gig that I've ever done was down in in Mandra. The crowd, I think they're a bit bogan. So they really took to me down there. That's your crowd? Yes. And it was just a really, really fun night. It was my best. It felt like the best set I've ever delivered. And it was just, yeah, it was. And then there's, I've taken a lot of drugs and there's a high you can't get from drugs that come from doing well on stage and comedy. So yeah. Yeah. And you did the sober. Oh, like ish sober ish. I'd had a couple of drinks. Yeah. A couple of confident shots. That's it. That's it. So what does it feel like when you between almost two years ago and now going up on stage? What's the difference? Oh, I can still get really nervous before I go on. But I do all these, yeah. If I'm doing stuff that I've already tried and tested, then I go on pretty confidently. But I still get the nerves before I go on stage. So I do all these things like it's tough. I don't know if it works or if it's like placebo effect, but I do tapping. So I'm like and in my head, I'm like repeating these matches and I tap different points on your body to help move the energy through. And I'm pretty weird backstage. Yeah. Have you had hecklers yet? A couple. I had one once at the comedy lounge and it was the first time I dealt with one well because usually if someone interrupts my set, I get thrown off and I get, I struggle to like remember where I was and get back on track. So it freaks me out if someone interrupts. But that guy can't remember what he yelled out, but it was in the middle of a set of me talking about men who can't make me come. And I just basically pointed out that he was probably one of those kind of men and everyone cheered and it was great. And then did he shut up after that? Yes, yes. Called him out. So what is your comedy based around? So most of it is inspired by my real life, but I do exaggerate things a little bit. So I went through quite a messy divorce and that features a fair bit, it still does. Kids, I've got three of them. My kids are pretty funny as well, so they give me a lot of content. Dating, sex life, I take the piss out of myself and all the weird, crazy things I've done in the past. And yeah, so it's all mostly just about my life but and trauma, make it funny. And now you're bringing it all together for the fringe festival. This is your first one? Yeah, so this is the first show that's mine, but what I'm doing is I've got a line up of comedians, so I'm the only new comedian, so everyone else is quite established and pros. I've got a really good line up of comedians each night and it's held at Delicious, which is a male strip club or the male performers, so it's more of a ladies bar. So it's called hot blokes and spicy jokes and so there'll be a line up of comedy and then the strippers will be there serving drinks with their shirts off and doing a full Monty Strip at the end. Oh, are you going to be in amongst the act of the boys? The Strip, I think I deserve to be, no. Let's do it. No, I went there for content the other night just to get some pictures and I ended up getting like, they got me to lay down and they're like doing their Strip stuff on me. I was like, wow, okay. Did they make you come? No. Add it to the list of men that can't make you come. Well, that's not what I was there for, so that's okay, no expectations. As long as you had a good time. It was funny. So in amongst all the chaos with your comedy stuff, what else have you been up to? So I started a tattoo apprenticeship last year, so around I think May, yes. So I started a tattoo apprenticeship which is something I've always wanted to do and that's been going really well. I feel like I'm just starting to hit my stride a little bit and with the techniques and stuff and I'm starting to do more tattoos that I actually like doing because when you first learn, you're just always doing all the little tattoos. Yeah, so you're off the pigskin and orange stuff? Yeah, I didn't really, my mentors, so everyone mentors differently. My mentor didn't really like the fake skins and so I was pretty much straight on to humans which my first tattoos were on myself. Oh yeah, they're pretty good first ones. Yeah. That was my first one ever, that one there. And you did that yourself? Yeah. Wow, what's it like tattooing yourself as opposed to somebody else? It's actually fine. I thought it was gonna hurt more or I thought I would hesitate going in, but yeah, it's fine. I guess because you're expecting it. It was my first time either. I've tattooed myself drunk before. That word that I'm not allowed to say, it's tattooed on the inside of my lip. I don't wanna get demonetised before I even get monetised on YouTube. So I don't think they like the word flak button or whatever. So yeah, keeping on the tattoo side, you've got a fair few yourself. When was your first tattoo? My first tattoo, it was a, oh, so white girl. It's a Chinese symbol, of course. And it's actually a funny story because I went into this tattoo shop, just turned 18 and it was on the board and it said spirit underneath and I ignorantly decided that I was like, oh, that means free spirit to me. So I'm like free spirit and that's one of that. So I got this spirit tattooed on my back and then I was working maybe a couple of years later with this Chinese guy and he saw my tattoo and he's like, why'd you get that? And I was like... Oh my God. And I told him, I was like, it's like spirit, like free spirit. He's like, no, bad spirit, demon. Oh no. So we're walking around with a demon on my back. It makes a lot of sense. Yeah, and that's pretty much been the monkey on your back forever, right? Yeah, well, it's kind of covered up now and I ended up getting a bigger tattoo over the rest of my back. So it's kind of like in amongst that you can't really see it as much anymore. Yeah, yeah. So being a tattoo apprentice, are you almost finished? Are you in the books now or let's you go? No, so tattoo apprenticeships depends on your mentor but can go from anywhere to like one to four years depending on your skill and your mentor. Yeah. And there's nothing formal in a tattoo apprenticeship. So it's just up to your boss. And all the tattoo parlors are controlled by one entity. Is that a thing? Can we talk about that or is that? Yeah, we can talk about that. So there is still an association with most tattoo shops, not all, but most tattoo shops either, if they're not owned and run by a club, which there's a lot of tattoo shops that aren't now, but they're still backed by a club. So you basically got to pay a club protection money so that other clubs don't firebomb you because they don't like the club paying you. The protection money makes no sense. Yeah, it makes sense to me, but it's like I didn't think that that was a thing. Yeah, no, it still happens. So if you open up a studio and it's in someone's what they consider their area, you have to pay them or pay for it in other ways. Yeah, fair enough. And does that like scare you a little bit or anything like that? No, I've lived in that world for a while. My ex, as you know, from the last podcast is Abaki. My baby daddy. So yeah, so I've been around that well for a while, so it doesn't scare me. I just think... I've had like good kind of experiences with them, like a good friend of mine, he's passed away now, crashed his motorcycle. He's highly, he was a bikey. But yeah, ever since I grew up, his dad was a bikey and we're always cool. Yeah, I think it's just like any group of people, there's some real shit ones and there's some really nice ones. Yeah, except for vegans, they're all shit. Especially the ones that tell you how to eat. I was a vegan once, but I was a nice vegan and I didn't like most other vegans. I went on, I joined vegan Facebook pages for like tips and recipes and stuff and I was like, wow, you're all assholes. This is just a circle jerk. I mean, trophy jerk. And I wasn't like vegan enough, like there's... You've got to, like, how far do you take it? Like, you're not allowed to use the beeswax lip balm because it's got beeswax in it. It's like, well, I didn't kill the fucking bee. No, go for it, please. And let loose. So, yeah, no, the vegan... I've seen some interesting Facebook pages. There's one called Spill the Tea or something. It had 130,000 women all over Australia in it. Now, for some reason, it's exclusively women, so it's like a women's club. It's a female vegan spilling tea. No, no, it wasn't vegans. There probably were, but... And yeah, I nearly got cancelled from that group. I wasn't in the group. I got a few fans from that group who were letting me know that they started talking about me because of my antics on TikTok. Because of the anti-meat stuff you post? No, no, no. Nothing to do with vegans. This was Spill the Tea. This is like, they talk shit about... They pick someone and they go, fuck this person. Let's talk shit about them. And that's make their life... Oh, so it's like a literal witch hunt. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So... That's fine. No, I'm just kidding. One of my favourite comedians, or a whole bunch of my favourite comedians, even Robin Williams, right, they all did these accents to portray different characters. And some of these accents involved, you know, different ethnic groups like Asian. And I grew up watching that and I'm like, cool. I want to do that as a comedic thing, not making fun of anyone, just doing that accent to portray that character. And Instagram had this feature, or this filter, where they come up with emojis. You have to guess the film or a catchphrase or a slogan or whatever. And there was a trend going on saying, if you did it in an Asian accent, you would actually be able to guess it a lot quicker. And it worked. So I did that, put it on TikTok. 99.9% of the comments were like, that's hilarious. That's amazing. And a few people who said that they were Vietnamese were like, man, you did that Vietnamese accent better than I do and I'm Vietnamese, you know? And then I had a couple of white women, I say white women, because they're all white women, always white women. People got offended on their behalf, didn't they? Yeah. And yeah, they commented on that and I was just like, fuck off, come on, take a joke. I'm not offending anyone, you know? Yeah. And then, yeah, a week later, I got a like a heads up on Instagram, DMs from one of the members saying, hey, sir, I've been a big fan of you for so long. Love all your content, not against it. Just letting you know that there's this post and there's like hundreds of comments of people just having to go. And yeah, so I looked into it and I was like, holy fuck. And then I had a couple of chick friends who were in the group as well. I was like, hey, can you go in and, I don't know, help me out here? And then we're fighting them. And then I was getting screenshots of all these, all these back and forths and they were just trying to justify, they were saying all this shit and I'm just like, you guys are more nastier than I am and I wasn't even trying to be nasty at all. And then bottom line was, I had to take the videos down because they found my school that I worked at and they emailed my principal and I'm like, wow. And then one of them, I called her the ring leader. I'll never mention her name, but she was 21 at the time. I figured out everything about her really quickly because she's an idiot. Where she lived, the address, where her business was, what her dog's name was, what her partner's name was and everything. Sounds creepy. Yeah, well, it does sound creepy, but I don't... They did it first. Yeah, I don't stalk people, but I'm like, when you're about to come at me... When someone's come for you, you do your background research to... Now, this is where the bikey thing comes back in because a good friend of mine, he's got connections and he's in our boys group chat and he privately messages me and goes, do you want me to do something? I was like, no, man, don't. He's like, I can. No, no, don't worry about it. And that was it. I was going to actually message her and just spook her a little bit, saying, your dog's name, very cute. I love the business that you run because she had a business. And I was going to do it. And then at the last minute... She would have just turned that against you. Exactly, exactly. So I left it. Look at him threatening me. Yes, exactly. And I was like, I'm not going to stoop down to that level. And unfortunately, my principal had a conversation with me and then standards and integrity was called up. And out of my best interest, I pulled the videos. And nothing happened after that at all. But I was just like, man, that's how easy it is for just one person to get offended. It's so bullshit. Yeah, we live in a weird time now. Like, I just feel like... I do get sometimes when they explain the reasons why we shouldn't do or say certain things anymore and I get it, but at the same time, if someone does do it, I just feel like it's not our job to go through life not offending people. And if I'm offended by something, I don't feel like I have to hold someone responsible for it. Like, it's OK to be offended. Move on. Yeah. So what do you feel about that? Move on. Don't follow that person anymore. So, cancel culture, do you think it's... Have we gone full circle and it's on the other end? I think cancel culture can exist to a certain degree for, like, really bad things. Like, that man's a rapist. Cancel him, sure. Yeah. But for, you know, things like, Sev posted a video that had offended a white woman on behalf of some Asians. No, don't cancel Sev for that. Like, it's too far. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yes. And what about comedians who are generally making a living out of, you know, these subtle jokes? Yeah. That's a tough one. There's a lot going around at the moment. I personally like to just stick to making jokes about myself and not upsetting any other minorities or... Like, I've got nothing anyway and I've got nothing against anyone. I'm very much a live-and-let-live kind of person. I don't have strong opinions about other way other people choose to live their lives. Yeah, but that's not... I'm not even mentioning that about people. I'm like, you want to be this, that, go for it. But if you want to preach to me, the fuck you. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, there are some comedians that push it and like to make jokes about touchy subjects. I don't really see that they cancel. They might not get as many gigs, but... I feel like those people that haven't really lived an interesting life themselves to warrant something of humorous value to the audience. You know, like, I've seen a few stand-ups in my time and, like, I've seen all the comics in Perth. And then, like, the ones that are still around, they're amazing. But I'm seeing a lot of a pattern where you kind of... You kind of just punch-lining after punch-lining. What's your kind of style? Do you build to a climax, or do you kind of go and pepper it throughout your...? So, when I first started, I would just, you know, have my premise, you know, my topic, and then have a punch-line, and then I'm like, next joke, but now I've learnt to build the joke up. And so, like, now my first punch-line is a set-up for a better one. And I'm starting to try and put, like, act-outs in between the punch-lines as well. That sort of... I just think they help the jokes land better and more fun and more entertaining. Yes. And how do you go about the men after the gigs? Are they hitting you up? Um, nah, I don't think... There's been a... There's always a couple. There we go. We're in. Storytime. There's always a couple. There was one at a free-mental comedy club once who was talking to me before the show, and he didn't realise I was on the line-up, he was just chatting to me at the bar, and you could tell it was a bit of a nod, but I just humoured him and was chatting, and then he realised I was on the show because he saw my set, and then he came up afterwards and asked... He was asking, like, was that all true, like, the stuff about the bar hears and lalala? I was like, yeah, mostly. And then he was sort of hovering around, and then he came up to me, and he went to start talking, then he goes, actually, never mind. And what did he say? He pretty much said something along the lines of, if that's all true, you're too much hard work, and walked off, and I was like, wait, did he think he had a shot with me, but then now I'm not good enough for him because my joke's put him off? But I just thought it was really bizarre because he was this, like, he was definitely no catch, and he was coming to try and basically... Yeah, you could see him, like, fighting with himself, like, I want to hit this girl up, but no, she's got all this fucking baggage from her. But then he, like, just said it, and I was like, what the fuck? It was weird. I just got rejected by someone, but I didn't want, obviously, but... Put you on a pedestal. Yeah. Wow. So you're single now? Yes. Ish, maybe? No, I'm deaf, and I'm up and down. 100% single. I just keep hitting, and I'll do that sometimes. And you're in your early 30s? No, I'm in my late 30s now. Let's pretend you're early 30s. So, early 30s, what is the Perth go-to scene to find a candidate that is reasonably good enough to talk to? Um, I definitely don't have, like, a... Stomping ground. ...a place to go or a plan. Yep. And the best nights I've had is when there was no plan. I always found, like, so when I was single the last time, not this time, but the time before my recent ex, I was really hitting the whole phase hard, and if I went out looking to go home with someone, I usually...it was usually, like, I wouldn't find it all the time, but the nights I went out not looking, they're the nights where it would just sort of usually happen. Yeah. And actually, I'm more fun because it was crazy. And the nights you weren't going looking, did you do the Bridget Jones' diary and not wear, like, the special underwear? OK, so one of the most recent... Oh, yeah. Another story time. One of the most recent hook-ups I had, which was a very interesting one. There was more than one other partner involved. Yes. Come on. And for that one, OK, so I've got to a point in my life where I wear Spanx now. Same. So I was wearing these, like, Spanx undies that tuck everything in, and so, like, right before, like, things started happening, I was like, I just need to go to the bathroom fresh and after, and I'm, like, trying to rip my Spanx off. So hot. And then I just, like, hid them and put them in my bag, and then, so then, like, when it progressed a little bit later, the guy was like, oh, she's not wearing underwear. Yeah, I just do that. Yes, yes. Yeah, no, the situation was not that sexy. He thought it was. He just didn't know that I was ripping off my Spanx. Most guys don't know that. I don't like it. You're wearing Spanx right now. There you go. I'm not a fan of Spanx because I'm very touchy-feely with my wife. I had to say that last bit just in case. Yeah, that definitely changed the sentence. Because, you know, you can feel it. I like the squish. Yeah, yeah. But when it's time to get intimate, she's already, like, kind of like, yeah, fuck the Spanx off. Yeah. But when you are going out and looking, no Spanx? Now that I feel like I've already figured out, I can just rip them off right before the day. The hack. Yeah, if I was going out looking, you've got to feel comfortable. If you're going out looking, you've got to feel sexy. Spanx don't, they might make you look better. They don't necessarily make you feel better. Yeah. So in the Perth scene, and this is something that's common with my chick friends of Perth who are single, they're not striking out. And I mean, in a way, they're not finding anyone. And their standards aren't that high. But they're just telling me that there's nobody in Perth. So let's start with the girls. What advice would you give to them if they're trying to find their better half? My honest advice is don't try. Just go out and enjoy yourself. Go out to have fun. Go out with your friends. Focus on yourself, being happy. And I feel like it's more likely to occur naturally that way. If you're desperate, you're going to end up lowering your standards and settling for someone because you are desperate to have someone. So I think it's getting to a point where you don't care so much about having someone. You just want to have fun and be happy. And then someone will come along, hopefully, and compliment that at some point. I know, that's a little fairy tale I've taught myself. That's fine, that's fine. And what about the boys? Couple of tips for them. Couple of tips for them. What not to do. Start with what not to do. What not to do. Can we skip straight to the bedroom partner? Before you get to the bedroom partner. Funny story, actually. I have a history of going for the red flags and the wrong type. This video's already gone viral. So I thought maybe my problem is I don't give the green flags a try. And I had this theory that I've heard before that if you meet someone and you get instant butterflies, that's actually a red flag and you shouldn't trust the butterflies. And I'm like, well, that makes sense because I've had some butterflies for some dumb motherfuckers. So I was like, okay, maybe I'm always waiting to feel an instant connection and maybe I'm like, maybe I should just give someone a chance and see if the connection builds. And I was like, I'm going to try this crazy thing where I actually get to know someone before I fuck them. And I thought like this was going to be a new way of life for me. It didn't last long though because I met this green flag guy, that was literally, and he even used that term on himself which in hindsight, red flag. What did he call himself a green flag? Tell me the exact. In a poem that he wrote me. Oh my God, I want to hear this poem. Oh my God. And I came up with a reply poem last night actually in my, I didn't end up using it on stage but I wish I did because I was doing 51st Jokes last night. I've come up with a reply poem. So this dude, okay, he's a nice guy, has no red flags, hasn't been to jail, doesn't do much drugs. Good job, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, and he seemed really lovely went out on like a cute date. Like, I don't think I've been on many actual date dates. Define a cute date. Cute date, so he organised, we went to, there was like food trucks and he bought us matching Christmas t-shirts. Okay. And we were meant to go have a picnic in Kings Park but then the weather turned bad so we didn't end up doing that and we left and we went back to his place. And he didn't try it on me, which he said was because he's a gentleman. Did he say that, like he made sure you knew that? No, no, no, like if we just, I stayed the night but he just didn't make a move and I didn't make a move and I still wasn't feeling a connection to him. I wasn't super attracted to him at that point but I was sort of still waiting. He's like, maybe it'll just happen. It will build or something. But then when we eventually did hook up and I talked about that you didn't try it on me the first two times and he was like, that's because I'm a genuine. Okay. Yeah, anyway, so moving along. So during the little courting period he started sending me poems which at first I thought was cute in hindsight. It's cringe. Anyway, so one of these poems he did refer to himself as the green flag guy and they were quite, they got, at first they were like cute then they started getting suggestive and I was like, oh this guy is actually, because I thought this guy was probably maybe a bit frigid or something because he didn't try anything the first time and then his poems were quite like referred to what he was going to do in the bedroom and made himself sound really confident in the bedroom. So I was like, oh this is quite surprising. Like he must be pretty good. Time to walk the walk boy. Exactly, he did not walk the walk. So I decided to like, let's just do this. I'm going to go there even though I still hadn't felt the really strong attraction yet and then it went there and it was fucking terrible. Okay, for the girls at home listening and for the guys, this is more helpful for the guys, why was it fucking terrible quote unquote? Probably the part where not too far into it he goes, and he didn't need to announce that I already knew and he goes, oh sorry, I've got some bad news. I was like, don't say it. He's like, I just came. And then he rolled over and he goes, would you like me to sing to you? And I was like, I rolled over. I had my head in the pillow because I was like, I was like, oh my God, I need to leave. I need to get out of here. This is really, really, really bad. And then he started singing Barry White. Anyway, so I made up an excuse and got the fuck out of there. What was your excuse? Really quickly, I said, I used my kids. Yeah. And then he rolled over and he goes, would you like me to sing to you? My kids, I've got to get home to my kids. Didn't need to. Anyway, so I came up with a poem last night which would be my reply to his poems. It's roses are red, your poems are dumb. Nice guys, don't finish last and you didn't make me come. Perfect. So it was like a generally good session. Like if you're looking to climax, do you prefer a sprint or a marathon? Definitely not a sprint because I take a lot of time to get to climax. So with the most men, it's over too quickly. So I'm never going to have been able to climax even if it was good while it lasted because I need a bit longer. So I think foreplay is very important and there's nothing wrong with making a girl come or you put, yeah, inside. What about if someone was able to sprint you to a climax? Oh, like that's still good. And I still like a quickie even if I don't climax. A quickie can be good sometimes. But if it's quickie and climax, is that like a best case scenario? No, because I think like sometimes that would be good but I prefer, I think it's nicer to have it long and drawn out and have, try a few different things. Yeah, fair enough. It's good research for the boys. Yeah, I think I want another tip for men is it's like they think that the only way to have sex and climax is this one. And it's like, well, what are lesbians who've been doing all these years? Like, there's so many other ways to have fun together and I think they need to take the focus on it just being that because if that's not doing it, that doesn't necessarily mean that's bad. That's still good but add some other things into it and then everyone's happy. Exactly, exactly. And do you take control if you're not getting it and you just realise that this poor person needs some help or do you just go... Do you know what sucks? I've been through this. Yeah, I'm actually, so I lack boundaries. And I... That sucks. I'm not good, I'm actually not good at, for some, I feel like I'm quite a confident person. I can sit here and talk about this but in the moment, I'm not good at speaking up. So like I do things with people I don't want to do it with all the time. Not all the time. I've done it a lot. I'm not good at speaking up and if I don't like something, so sometimes like if it gets really bad, I'll like eventually be like, okay, you need to stop what you're doing because that's awful. Because I've been in situations where whatever he's doing is actually painful and it's not enjoyable but I didn't want to say something. And I think a lot of women struggle with that is like speaking up and not wanting to offend the person and stuff which I feel like I should be able to do that because I feel like I am like quite a confident strong woman but for some reason I... I don't always speak up and I should. No, you've got to give him feedback. Yeah. I appreciate feedback. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But like with... So that's more like with your one night stands and stuff. In relationships, I do give feedback because you're more comfortable with each other but sometimes it hasn't been received well. Like one ex got offended by me trying to tell him how to make me come and I was like, well, it's my vagina. So like I know how it works. Yeah, exactly. It's not like, yeah. But then others have taken it on board and it's gotten... things have gotten better. So... Nice. Improvement. If you were... What would you tell your 18-year-old self going to the club for the first time wouldn't it hook up? Lay off the shooters. Can you explain that a bit more? I was just... So I was like a black hat drunk drinker when I was young, when I was 18. Yeah. Or I went through a phase where I didn't drink but instead I was on ecstasy so I would be the... because back then they didn't do random drug tests and so I used to be the designated driver all the time because I just took pills. So that was... Safe. That was a fun... Yeah, it felt like safe. Kids... Kids... Fuck. So kids, do shit safely but don't drugs, drink... Well, now that we know you can get drug tested for it we know it's not safe. So we don't do that anymore. But back in the day, back in my day they didn't have those. I mean like I've got a big kid kids audience. So they're going to experience shit. I'm so sorry. No, no, it's fuck. No, this is the stuff that they need to hear because their parents don't talk about it. Yeah. So... And the reason for this is I want them to understand that everybody goes through experimental phases. Yeah, yeah. You just have to make sure you're doing it safely with the people that you trust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And think about the consequences. Yeah. And think about what they mean to you. Worst case scenario. Yeah, yeah. But you know, we've been through it. I feel like a bit of advice for girls is most of the men you let in you'll end up possibly end up regretting if you're out drunk and drinking. I feel like you want to... There's... You want to make sure that person is someone who deserves to be in that space. Yeah. And most of them don't. So... So how do you get now that you're in your early 30s? How do you get your... your hoo-ha to go, yep, you can unlock my Pandora's box. You deserve the right. Well, do as I say and as I do. So I say these things about, like, making sure that someone deserves to be in there. But then if I'm in the moment and I meet someone and... like... YOLO. It just happens sometimes. Yeah. And has that... has that experience happened now helped you kind of weed out the red flags more than before or have you still not learnt your lesson? Yeah, nah, still learning. Like, I'm more aware though. I don't think I can get sucked in by the red flags but I'm still attracted to them. Which sucks. Yeah. I need to find, like, a nice red flag. A nice red flag. Or a different green flag. Oh, no, I've even had a nice red flag, actually. So it's more than that. I don't know. I need to look into this more. Green flags and red flags. So you've had one green flag guy. Yeah. Are you going to just completely... Oh, that turned me off I felt so... I felt more dirty from that than any of the red flag ones. So then I felt like I had to go and hook up with some red flags to get it out of me. And what's, like, the most... the top three common red flags in a guy that you fancy? Your DMs are going to get fucked after this. Red flags. I don't know what it is. Like, I don't... Like, the overly... the masculine thing. Oh, mind you, my last next wasn't overly masculine. Masculinity as a red flag? No, no, like, toxic masculinity. Define toxic masculinity. Like, the barky kind of guys. Like, I'm still super attracted to them, even though I know they're going to ruin my life. OK. How are they going to ruin your life? I don't know. I'm only going by experience being married to one. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's fair enough, you know? No, they're not all bad. They're not all going to ruin my life. But it's just... It's a lot... And it's a very much... It's an unhealthy lifestyle for most of them. They're very much lots of parties, but too much partying and stuff like that as well. So it's just not healthy. Yeah. So I just know that they're not right for me. Yeah. Not judging them. They're not right for me. Yeah. And also, as much as I say, there's some nice ones. There's also a lot of bad ones. And, you know, there's lots of ones that go to jail. And there's a lot that treat women really badly. And for some reason, I'm still attracted to them. But I'm not going to go there. Yeah, that's good. That's good. What are you doing differently in your 30s than you are in your 20s? I actually like myself a little bit more now. Because I didn't used to really have a great relationship with myself. So I think that's made a big difference. Because, yeah, I've learnt to love myself and accept myself a lot more. Whereas in my 20s, I was quite self-destructive and didn't really like myself that much. Yeah. Do you put yourself first? A lot more. I still... Like, I have got three kids. So there's always a line. At some point, you've got to put them first. Sometimes I do think putting yourself first in some ways matters as well. So that they get the best version of me when I'm happy and healthy as well. Yeah, exactly. Which I feel like for me and the type of person... Not everyone is like this. Not every mum is the same. But I'm the kind of person who still loves having my own life outside of being a mum. And so I think divorce was perfect for me. Like, this is the way I meant to raise children, having a co-parent who has them sometimes. And then I've got all this kid-free time to do me. And with my kids, I can be with my kids and still have, you know, separate Nicky and Mum. Yeah. And how are the kids handling it? They're good now. And I think what's made a big difference, because at the beginning, when we first... When I first got divorced from their dad, it was really messy, and that obviously had a flow-on effect, I think, with them, because they could pick up the animosity and stuff around. Whereas now, I've gotten to a place with their dad and his new partner. We're all getting along really well. They have a new little girl. I think she was also a bit of a catalyst for everyone getting along too, because she's so cute. And I was just like, I can't hate your mum, because she's just this beautiful little bundle of joy, although everyone else thinks she's a little straight-up savage, but I love her. She's adorable. I think, yeah, she's sort of bringing everyone together a little bit as well. But, yeah, the kids are doing really well now, because mum and dad are happy. And I think us getting along has had a positive impact on them. Yeah, no, it's great that you can get along with, you know, the co-parenting and the new partners as well. Yeah, yeah, and she's been great. Like, she's the opposite of me. So I'm chaotic and ADD and disorganised. I'm not an organised mum. I'm a good mum. I'm a very loving and affectionate mum, but I'm the mum who forgets its library day and, like... Calendars, mate. Get the calendars. Yeah, like, I'm just useless. And she's OCD, she's so good at keeping on top of that stuff. And I'm like, this is fucking great. Yeah. Well, that's good. And, I mean, you don't have to talk about your ex-partner much, but, like, have they evolved in a good way as a parent since? Yeah, I think so. I think divorce was also good for him, too. So because when we were together, I was doing the brunt of the parenting. I was at one home all the time. And then when we separated, he... Like, on his time, he was spending... He spent more time with the kids than he did when we were together. And I think he's... Yeah, he does seem to be... And then COVID happened and you couldn't really go out as much. So he does seem to be more family-orientated now than he was before, which I think is great. That's good. Yeah. That's good. And they're of school age yet? Yeah, yeah. Oh, not my youngest, sorry. My youngest is only three, turning four. So she starts school next year. My oldest is starting high school this year. Wow. Wow. Yeah. So that's been, I mean, from my educated experience, the kids are in high school who have had divorced parents. Speaking of which, my son knows who you are and his friends probably follow this one. Shit. I don't think they'll be doing it too much, but I reckon... They're probably just on your TikTok. One snippet on the TikTok will get them over. So have fun with that. Sorry, son. But yeah, the kids that go to high school with divorced parents, like fresh divorced parents, they struggle. Yeah. They struggle because their parents can't sort their shit out. Yeah. Like, with each other. It's like, you've got to sort your shit out because if you don't, your kids are going to suffer. Yeah. They're going to pay the price. Yeah. And, you know, they stay together for the kids, but at the same time, you should... The kids feel it. Yeah. And you've got to be civil. You've got to show them what good parenting looks like by just getting over your differences. Yeah, you've got to put your ego aside. Yeah. And sometimes, you know, you've got to put hurts aside even if, like, you're not always going to get the apology you want sometimes as well. Yeah. You've just got to put it aside, move on. That's what we've been able to do and it's made a huge difference. And I can see the positive effect it's had on our kids. So I'm really grateful that we've got that co-parenting situation because there was a time when I didn't think it would have worked and it made things very difficult. And now we're just so easy now and it's actually really enjoyable. Yeah. What are you like with parents of other kids at school that are, like, in the same classroom? I have always avoided... I used to have this thing. It's a real thing. I think it's a real thing. I call it school mom anxiety. I had it so bad, though, that I would on purpose... When Billy was in pre-primary, I would on purpose go to school late so that most of the mums were gone at drop-off because they gave me really bad anxiety. I didn't like seeing them. I didn't like being around them because they're like a gaggle of, like... And they're really bitchy and some of them are really bitchy and nasty. Like, there were some nice ones, but I used to sort of avoid it a little bit and then there was this one mum who we were pregnant at the same time. I was pregnant with my second. And then when we'd had our babies, we were at this, like, school event thing and I've walked past and she's like, how do you lose all your baby weight? And I actually hadn't. I just hadn't got that big compared to... You were in Spanx. Her. But... And then she's like, it's okay. I've told everyone it's because you were on crack and she laughed, but I knew she was not actually joking, like she was implying to people that I was on drugs and that's why I'd lost weight. And it made me feel like shit that people would think of that. If you're in Rockingham Primary School, you're going to get that comment every day of the week. Yeah, it wasn't in Rockingham, but it was it because we used to live in Chidlow, so it's a really small community. And they're very clicky because most of the people have been there for a long time and I hadn't. Yeah, just felt really judged. But that was also partly my own issues and anxieties because when I eventually, over the years, started to get to know some of the other mums, some of them were actually pretty nice and it's good to have school mum friends. But every time we moved to school, there was no one and the anxiety would start again. Yeah. Did you ever see another mum that had like full tats and you gravitate towards her? So the last few schools know because so Chidlow, there wasn't many tattooed mums, maybe a couple, but I was definitely probably the most heavily tattooed. And then at their last school, which was in Willerton, I think, there wasn't even many Australians at that school, let alone tattooed people. Because it's a very, the area is mostly like Indian and Asian and there's no people, like they didn't have tattoos, they were all professionals and stuff. So I was the odd one out there, definitely. But then I moved to Mandra and Mandra's got, everyone's got tattoos there. Yeah, quite at home. Love it, love it. And now that you have three kids and yeah, your third one's getting there, walking about, probably talking now. Oh yeah, she's almost four. So she's a full like little walking, talking human, who's sass. Yeah. But yeah, so she'll start school next year. And then that's it. So you're done with kids? I'm so done. Never, ever, ever, ever having another child. No offense, children are great. And you've got the full set plus one extra. Any advice on up-and-coming parents? I'm going to become a parent in the next few years. And I'm excited. And the most common piece of advice I get is it's the worst, best thing you can do in your life. So apart from that obvious one, what advice would you give to the up-and-coming parents? Probably to ignore all the advice you get and just make your own way in. Make your own way. Every kid, every kid is different and what works for some people doesn't work for you and just go with the flow. And also I think, go easy on yourself and your kids. I'm not one of those, I don't know, maybe some people think I should be more of a disciplinarian but I'm very much, I accept my kids aren't perfect and I'm not perfect so I don't have an expectation of them to behave perfectly all the time. And they're not terrible kids. But I'm a very relaxed mum. Some people might say too relaxed but... That's fine. I mean, I think kids need to have some sort of a boundary. But at the same time, they need to have that exploration factor. Yeah, yeah, like my middle child. Everyone else thinks he's like so full-on and the naughty one. I think he's my little bundle of joy. Like I don't actually see him as being naughty. He's just having fun and being sick and he is full-on. He's very energetic and over the top. But I don't think he's ever being malicious or naughty or... Yeah. Yeah, so everyone thinks he's my naughty kid and he's like... No, he's just very joyful. He's a very happy kid. And that, yeah, sprouts. I read that their personalities come to fruition at around the age of four, five. And then their formative years since birth are like super important to be involved. Yeah, I've heard these two and it makes me feel terrible because each kid's had a different experience. So my middle child, it makes a lot of sense that he's the happiest one, I think. Because his formative years was probably at a phase in my relationship at the time where we were quite in a good, better place. Whereas my youngest son, in his formative years, my dad had just passed away and had relationship issues going on and it was... Yeah, he didn't get the best version of me and I can see how that's... So he ended up... I took him to a psychologist when he was six and he was diagnosed with anxiety. And they explained that it's probably come from me and what I was going through when I was grieving. So his little stable world was tipped upside down when my dad passed away because he suddenly went from having quite a happy home to having a mum who was losing it all the time or crying all the time and a dad who wasn't there much and stuff. You get to see and showcase that through your experience and you can give that advice. You can talk about it and from your own observations. You're not preaching it to somebody. So I mean, I don't like giving parenting advice because I'm not a parent, but at the same time when I was a school teacher I'd see patterns. And then I'd be like, I wonder if your parents are this type of parent and they are. Either they're divorced or they're target parents or something like that. Or they've had some traumatic moment in their family. My God, it's like... Some parents do need help, a lot of help and it sucks because the kids... you know, that's the end result and they take that with them unless they see a psychologist, which is good. I definitely feel like I haven't necessarily given my kids the start in life or the life that I'd wanted for them, but I think that's another thing. As a parent you have to just accept that life doesn't always go to plan and you can't compare yourself to other people and families. You've just got to do your best and I think the biggest thing is just focusing on making sure you've got heaps of love in your home. Love and happiness. And if you feel like you don't have love and happiness and you...let's talk about psychologists, how and when did you have your first psychology session or psychiatry session? Gosh, I think like when I was a teenager I tried to go towards psychologists but I'm not... I used to not be very good at talking so unless they were really good at getting anything out of me I just didn't give them much so I didn't really get much out of it. The first time I went... But now that you've got one frequently or what's the... I was going quite a bit. So when I first got divorced and it was really messy, it was not a nice situation and so I started seeing a counsellor then pretty much for a whole year consistently. And how did they help you? It was actually really good and it helped so talking through... So I was getting triggered a lot which you have to learn that even though the other person might be doing something and it's not nice, you still have a responsibility for how you react to things and I had to take responsibility for my reactions and learning how to... Okay, I'm triggered, I don't have to react though and I don't have to let it upset me so much. That is a choice and you can choose to operate differently so I sort of learnt... And it was still a test like every time something new would happen and sometimes I would instantly react and then I wish I hadn't and then... So it was definitely a learning curve but it taught me a lot and it made me better at managing my self and my reactions and also not letting other people... Other people's actions have the power over me to completely ruin my day or make me feel really, really bad. Like, yeah, I've got... I was able to rise above it sometimes. What's the current thing that you're working on for yourself? I haven't been going. No, no, no, I meant like in general. So I did start the year telling myself I would like to be sober and celibate. I've already failed. But that was because... And it's not like I have a drinking problem. I just really want to get focused on my goals this year and working on myself as far as my just ability to be self-disciplined and motivated to keep working on my goals and I've sort of lost that the last year. I've been a bit all over the place and distracted and my ADD symptoms have been way worse. I feel like... I don't know if it's an age thing if they get worse as they get older but I just feel... At the moment I feel really out of control of everything like I'm getting by but I would really like to just like bring it all back in and feel like I'm on top of everything again and I thought that eliminating distractions and drinking and also the celibacy thing was more so to get myself like wait until I'm at a point where I am going to choose better partners than the ones that I've been choosing. Yeah, you kind of get sucked in again, don't you? Yeah, but I literally... So I was sober up until yesterday and then I had my first drink and I was like... Two weeks? You lasted two weeks? It's not bad. Well, it's not just like... It shouldn't be a colossal failure now you can just get on the bandwagon. You lasted two weeks to start again. Yeah, yeah. You know, try and beat that record. Yeah. You know? I think I will... I don't think I need to tell myself I have to be sober 100% for the whole year. I think I'm going to like start again and give myself a day off for my birthday next month. Yeah, exactly. And that's kind of what I'm at. Like when I go, alright, let's start the new year fresh. This was before, like years before and then I'm like, my birthday is the first of January. I'm starting the new year probably pissed off my face. And then this year, or last year, going into New Year's and seeing all these other New Year's resolutions and goals. I'm like, you guys are all waiting over the next two weeks before Christmas, that weird Christmas to New Year's period. And then you're going to start. I'm like, no, I'll start now. Yeah. And by the time the new year hit, I had a rolling start. I was stoked. You know? Drinking beer was something that I was doing a lot of as a social thing and being, you know, friends with heaps of brewers now. It's like, I want to drink your beer out of respect, but at the same time, out of respect to my body, I'm going to have to choose the cider or the ginger beer or now preferably the wine, the red wine. Because the red wine apparently scientifically proven that it's good for you. So yeah. And all those antioxidants. I'll take it. I'll take it. You know, not a whole bottle a night, but I kind of wanted to do because I didn't want to waste a bottle. But apparently it's, it's okay after a couple of days. So I'll take that. Yeah. But yeah, you got to, you got to just go with the flow, but don't go with the flow if it's out of control flow. Yeah. You got to check yourself back in. So yeah, you've got your ADHD and you're struggling to focus sometimes. Do you have systems in place or? I used to, but I've just really got nothing now. So I'm, I've been really time poor as well because I was, I moved to manager, started working at a tattoo shop in Gosnell's. My kids daycares like in a different suburb. So I'm spending more than three hours a day driving. Geez. On top of my work day. So it's just been, and so by the time I get home, I've just, yeah, I've had no systems in place at home. I'm not organized at home. I'm not organized like with my shopping or so we're ordering a lot of. And you've got red flags DMing you, ready to go. So yeah, I really just want to get focused on bringing some kind of routine back into my life. And I almost feel like I've lost the ability, like I don't even know if I'm capable of having a routine now because it was always hard for me to be routine and I've never been good at sticking to it, but I definitely have never been as bad as I am now. So I need to get something back in my life to get a bit more focused. Yes. Yes. And I think you got self-care because that's the other thing. I haven't been looking after myself and I, that has a flaw and effect on everything else. Self-care definitely. Yeah. Sleep well, eat well. Yeah. Physically fit. Yeah. That helps those three. Yeah. Sleep is the most important one. Yeah. Start with that. And then get, then get into the eating stuff. Yeah. Because that, that's part of your day naturally because you need to live. So I notice the times where I do eat healthy and have some form of exercise happening. That has a flaw and effect. And I think it obviously helps my brain as well. So I do, I do find myself more organized and able to do a bit more. So I feel like I need to prioritize my health. And I haven't been doing that, which is one of the reasons I wanted to lay off the alcohol was so that I didn't fall off the bandwagon on a Monday if I'd been drinking on Sunday and things like that. Yeah. And then three hours a day. That's insane. Yeah. It's too much. So I'm actually moving back because the co-parenting situation become like healed last year. I've decided moving back, it'll be the last move not moving again because it's not great for the kids to keep moving. But yeah. So the driving will be a lot less once I've moved. So that'll be good. And I'll have some time back and I'll have more time because my co-parent will have the kids more when we move, when we live closer together. So I should feel like I'll have more time to get back on top of everything. Yeah. That is important. I'm looking forward to that. So with your fringe stuff, how do we book tickets to see a show? You go through the Fringe World website, fringeworld.com.au and look up hot blokes and spicy jokes. And yeah, you just get tickets through there. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to that. It's going to be fun. Yeah. Tell me about your drink. Oh, these. I love these ones because they're the only ones I think. I don't know. There might be others, but they don't have sugar. They're basically sweet or anything. It's my favorite one. Do you know what I wish they would do? I wish they would make these, but in a frappe. Oh. Because I love frappes, but they're so sweet. They're too sweet. Yeah. This would be great in a frappe. I love this. Yeah. Who is it again? Hunter. Hunter. Hunter and brew. Hunter and brew. Yes. And the fact that they don't have any added sugar. Yeah. Well, obviously I'm trying to be a little bit healthy, but that actually tastes good as well. I didn't think the first time I tried it, I was like, oh, no sugar at all. And I thought it might have that fake sugar, which fake sugar doesn't taste good either. But no, it actually tastes really nice. Yeah. There you go. I like it. And yeah. That's one of the sponsors of the show. So Hunter and brew. Good thanks. Yeah, I've been drinking this for ages. It's really good. There you go. Not paid at all for her to say that. So that's nice. Definitely not, although you can't want to. Yeah. But yeah. And with them, they're like, I've always chased things that I naturally liked anyway. Yeah. So it's a natural fit and coffee milk and no added sugar. That's it. That's the ingredients. Yeah, well, it's good tasting coffee. So you don't need to be sure it still tastes nice. Yeah, that's it. Who's your dream sponsor or collaboration or brand deal? Nikki's up in the lights. She's getting brand deals because of her stand ups blowing up. Who's in your DMs wanting to collab? I've already thought of it, but I'm like, I don't know if it's appropriate for your show. No. Straight up. I want the sex toys. Yes. The adults just want to me. How are you going to promote them on Tik Tok though? I was going to make a Tik Tok the other day because I was just... One story. I was using a vibrator as a face, and I just felt sick. I just thought I could make Tik Toks like using them for things that they're not meant for. Yeah. Would be funny. Amazing. I don't know. All right, I'm going to give you some quick, quick fire questions. Okay. Just give me like a quick answer and then we'll move on. What's the worst pickup line that you've ever heard? The worst one. I've got a really bad memory, but I know I've heard lots of bad ones. Sorry. What's that one? I don't use pickup lines. What's your pickup line? No. I've had that one where it's like, are you an angel? No, what is it? You know the one where they say you look like you fell down from... From the sky, yeah. You don't use pickup lines, but one guy is in the bar that's given you nothing, but you want something from him. What's your approach? Oh, I'll let those ones get away. I'm not... I need to be more forward. I look at them and I hope that they'll make a move. Oh, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, so like if you see a girl that keeps making eye contact with you, act on it, because if it happens more than once and she keeps looking, she's definitely interested. Yeah, the boys. Is there something you would like to change about yourself? Yeah. What is it? Right now it would be... I would really like to be healthier for all the aspects, like my physical... physically, but also mentally. I really want to get healthy for all the positive benefits that it will have. Yeah. Okay, this next one is fucked. But what is the one thing you're deeply proud of that you would never put on your resume? Something I'm deeply proud of that I wouldn't put on my resume. So many things are going through that head. I'm just going to say my pussy. Very proud of it. Very good. What would be the absolute perfect date? Oh, the absolute perfect date. So the right person really counts because you can have a really cool, fun date with a loser and it's not going to be fun. So it's got to be a really cool, fun person. And what are you doing? Oh, actually, I've been on the best date ever. It was... Okay, so random dude that I met at the beach asked me out on a date, agreed. We went out. We ended up taking some mushrooms. We went out to... We took some mushrooms. We rented a bar, had some mushrooms at the bar. Ended up going to Scarborough Beach. We rolled around all the grass, like laughing our heads off. Ended up having the best night. Ended up skinny dipping in the ocean at night time. It was the best day I've ever been. It was so fun. Did you clap, Cheeks? Yeah. Nice. On the sound, that wasn't all. For the kids that are listening, they got mushrooms from IGA. What are you amazingly good at in a relationship? It's going to be sexual, I know it. Yeah, I'm trying not to. Don't write everything sexual, Nikki. Well, obviously that. But no, I'm also good at... I think I'm a really supportive partner. I'm good at trying to... What's the word? I want to see everyone do their best. So I'm good at supporting people to bring out the best in them and do their best. And I'm quite hopeful if they have goals and stuff. Yeah, I love that. I love that. What is something you've tried that you'll never, ever try again in a relationship? Hmm. I was expecting you to say marriage straight off the bat. Oh, yeah, thank you. No, no, I wouldn't... I thought I wouldn't get married again because I don't necessarily believe a need to. I don't feel it necessary. But I might get married again and I will make sure I'm very open and honest with the person I'm marrying that I'm doing it for the party. I love to have another wedding dress and another party. I don't care about after that. I don't care about the legalities. But yeah, I'd get married again just for the party. Yeah, we had a fucking... Just for the celebration. It's fucking fun. I loved my wedding. I had a really... I had the best wedding. What time of the day is best for sex? Um... Hmm. Hang on, I'll start again What time is the best... Oh, fuck. What time of the day is the best for clapping cheeks? Um, I think it's when it's spontaneous. I don't know necessarily if there is the right time of the day but if you're both horny and there's a moment. I like inappropriate times, to be honest. Um... Storytime. You know, like coming home from work for a quickie or having a quickie at work or, you know, those kind of things if you work with your partner. Go on, if you work with what? If you work with your partner. So I have worked with a partner and I have had sex at work before and it was fun. Did you get caught? No. I think I'm a bit of an exhibitionist so I think the idea of being caught is fun. Um... And last question. What is a dating deal breaker for you? A dating deal breaker. Um... Straight up talking about your ex and hanging shit on them. Um... Is a deal breaker because even if you were in the right... Yep. It's still not a great conversation to be having with your new date and a lot of the guys that have done this on dates with me they sound like they're the ones in the wrong and I'm like, dude, I want to get this chicks number and like congratulate her for getting away from you. Um... Nice. And have you had that experience where you have met with an ex, like one of the dude's exes and you became mates with her? Oh, actually, so there was this a chick I'm still friends with now when I was like 19. So I dated this dude after her so when she first left town and then when she came back, when she came back she hated me because I was hooking up with her ex and she didn't like me at first and then she's like she got to know me and she's like she's actually kind of cool. Then we became friends and I'd stopped seeing her ex and we hate him. He's gross. But now we're still friends all this time later. Yes. Bonning over the hatred of one person. Yeah. He was gross. Oh, there's so many... so many... when you look back and you remember that instant mint cringe. Definitely keen on a part three for this and I reckon it'll be after the fact that you try a couple more green flags and as your unofficial sex therapist definitely give the green lights a couple more goes because there are good ones out there. And just like the librarian girl that's all the green flags in the world she's going to be some freaky doing some freaky shit outside the library. So I don't know if it's the same with dudes but someone that's confident someone that's funny and someone that's ambitious I think those are the golden three that every woman should be. I've sort of got this idea of what I want and I want to start being that myself because I don't want to rely on waiting until I meet this person and I've got to be that version of myself and then I think I'll attract. So what is that version of yourself Niki? Motivated ambitious adventurous because like I love adventure and I haven't done anything adventurous in so long like as far as like outdoor stuff and things like that. Like I want to start getting back into nature and go on a hike go learn to fucking kiteboard or whatever they call it. Do some cool stuff. Absolutely. Well thanks for coming in. Thanks for chatting and giving me some confessions. Nah it'll be alright. It'll be good. And for everybody at home Niki Valentine as she likes to call herself will be available online at your nearest booking agent for her show on the Fridge Festival here in Perth. If you don't live in Perth tough shit just follow her on Instagram you can find all the details in the description and let me know what you thought about the episode please give her some space in the DMs you creeps and if you do DM her well she's giving you advice on what not to do. So do that because she likes it. And yeah hope you enjoyed the show. As always good thanks. Thank you for having me. Bye.