 Guide us, got our words, got our thoughts, got all. Amen. Amen. Father, Son, the Holy Spirit. Hey, friends, you're watching behind the scenes Divine Intimacy Radio. We'll start the show in just a minute and you're not going to want to miss this. You know, if you've got a family member who's struggled with alcohol addiction or addiction to anything and you want to hear a story of how somebody gets free and what the Lord can do, this is your day to be listening to Divine Intimacy Radio. Beautiful story. So before we jump in there, there's a couple of opportunities. Last minute, I got to tell you guys about. One is Divine Intimacy and Marriage Retreat February 9th, 10th and 11th at the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament. We have a few seats left and if you need a last-minute Valentine's gift or you didn't quite make the right decision at Christmas or your points inventory is depleted significantly because of your ill-advised behavior and you want to make up for it, go out to spiritualdirection.com forward slash events and sign up for that retreat and then put the receipt printed out, put it in an envelope and get a Valentine's card and give that an early. And some roses. And some roses. Early roses are cheaper when you get them early or anyway. Right. And then I promise you, by the time the retreat is over, your points inventory will be sufficiently supplied for years to come and you will be deeply blessed. We've had folks who have great marriages report that their marriages are better. We've had folks who were come, one woman last time said, told us in the middle of the retreat that she came, this was the last step and she was going to leave her husband. And she didn't. So when she decided not to because of the retreat and the exchanges between her and her husband and the things that are already, she got hope. I mean, that's really the issue. She was, yeah, yeah, the good, the grace is really move. And I'm just in awe. I'm absolutely in awe of what the Lord does through the retreat. And it's not about you and me. It's about what the Lord's doing and his deep love for marriage. And we know that in the end, the battle, you know, through the words of our lady to the children at Fatima, in the end, the battle is going to be about marriage and family. And I'm telling you, this was birthed through a lot of warfare. So I know it's powerful. I see the effects. I see the fruit. Don't miss out on this. Take the plunge, come and be part of this. We didn't base it on any other marriage retreat. So don't say, well, I went to one and it didn't do me any good. I went to this and I went to that. That's all good and fine. It's nothing like, like we don't even know what those are. We haven't gone through them. So just come, just come and come away for a weekend with us and let the Lord work. It's on anointed ground. Oh, Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament, right? Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament. Mother Angelica buried there. Beautiful anointed place. Yeah. Come. Yeah. So, last word I'll say about this too. Guys are usually ones and two are hesitant to go to these things because most of them, I'm going to just say it. A lot of these things, a lot of these kinds of events are about designed by women and they try to get, they treat men like misbehaving women and it makes men really uncomfortable doing, you know, group things and sharing their feelings and kumbaya and hugs. No hugs in this retreat. Unless you're hugging your spouse. No kumbaya, no weird trying to make a dude act like, you know. No and there's no and there's no strange group sharing where you just feel totally exposed and you you just want to curl up and die. We're not going to do that to you. Yeah. But it is going to be the most deep marriage retreat that you will ever go to and it gets to the core of the issue. It really gets to the core of the issue. But you can't tell them the secret. Nope. Where God wants to work with you and work in and through you in your marriage. All right. You know, so that's spiritual direction.com slash events. Last thing I'm going to say before we jump in the show because I know you want to you want to hear a powerful testimony of the Lord moving in somebody's life. You want it, you want, you need that hope today or you wouldn't be listening and that is I'm doing a free webinar tonight. The mystery of Sceptuagesma and everyone's going Sceptu Awedama. But it is it is a what a time before the Second Vatican Council, there was a time where the church had something called pre Lent, which is a period where you you you'd prepared for Lent so that when you hit Ash Wednesday, you've had a period of reflection and a gradual increase of of disciplines or clarifying those getting your life in order so that you can get the most out of Lent. Most don't know that Lent, this period provided by the church is a torrent of grace available to the soul. And if but they don't know how to take advantage of that and so they pop, they wake up Wednesday morning and on their calendar says Ash Wednesday and they go, Oh man, I'm giving up chocolate, which means you're going to have a Lent that's fairly meaningless instead of something that can really draw you deeper into the to the Lord. So, if you want to attend that tonight, spiritualdirection.com forward slash events, you can sign up for that's free and I think it starts at seven. You know what time it starts, Jordan? I don't I don't know I've got let me let me just take a look because it doesn't say it on here. I don't know why my faithful friends who do these things didn't put that it's 7pm. Is it central? So let me look and just confirm because yeah, 7pm central time. All right. So, spiritualdirection.com forward slash events for all of our events anyway. All right, let's jump into the show and boy, you know, we've been traveling for a month so I got to make sure I get this right. Right. Thankfully, well, the live stream show there's no editing. So, whatever I do that's dumb that I can't fix that. But the the EWTN normal trestle radio show is edited. So, and just a note for the editor, I'm going to try to get as much material as I can for you. It'll probably go a little over time, but I want to make sure we get the richness of the story captured. So, you may have to do a little more editing than normal. So, just a heads up there. All right. So, you ready? I got to get the intro right. That's the thing. Are you ready? I'm going to try because I'm ready. All right. All right. This is Dan and Stephanie Burke. Welcome to Divine Intimacy Radio, your radio haven of rest, your hermitage of the heart, your monastery of the mind where we lift our hearts and minds to heaven to draw upon the wisdom of the saints, the great tradition, insight and beauty of the Catholic church to help us to navigate the tumult of this life and the difficulties and things that we face. And I'm super excited today. I'm going to introduce the guest today because because he's he's a unique he's a unique guest and unusual circumstance. So, I was blessed Tom Monaghan, the founder of Domino's Pizza and Legatus, a great Catholic institution that serves CEOs and executives. He he's asked me a few times to come give retreats for the CEOs. And so, in this last one, wow, it was a beautiful location. It wasn't New Mexico, if I remember right. I've been traveling all over the world. So, and I was blessed to run into a gentleman named Lance Mudd. And Lance immediately gravitated to him because he reminds me of my dad. We were just talking about that for the show that he saw. He's been he's at the retreat center here in Alabama. He saw a picture of my dad with the cowboy hat on Lance's sporting a nice hat today in the studio. But he just reminded me a lot of my dad. Just a hard hard work insult to the earth guy. But then when he told me his story of how the Lord had worked in his life, I was I thought, man, we've got to get this in front of people because so many people are stuck in addiction, stuck in cycles of sin, stuck in ways that do harm to them and their families and hopelessness and hopelessness. Yeah. Yeah. And what I heard in Lance was hope that that not in the in a sense, he's living hope fulfilled and he will be quick to tell you he's not perfect. But he's living hope fulfilled in the sense that throughout his life, he has gradually more and more made given a deeper yes to God and and and in some really critical moments that probably determine the whole trajectory of his soul that we he's going to share with you. And I just want to reveal that to you and reveal his heart to you how God works when you say yes. When that no matter how deep the hole is, there's always a way out. So Lance, welcome to Divine Insimacy Radio. Thank you. Appreciate it. So why don't we start a little bit with your your childhood and you grew up in what we call the deep south. Well, we're I don't know how are we in the deep south right now? Do you have to go another 20 miles south or what? No, this is this is Yankee country compared to where I'm from. You know, I lived on the Gulf Coast in the intercoastal canal. I live south and my friends that live north, I thought they was Yankee. You were Yankee. If you was I north of I-10, you was a Yankee. Okay. So we're in we're in Montgomery, Alabama in the radio studio here and then of course EWTN is I guess also in Yankee territory. Yes, sir. Hour and hour and something above north of us. So southern Louisiana. Yes, sir. Southwest. Southwest. Very Catholic, right? Yes. Yes. Tell me about a little bit about Catholic life when you were growing up there. My mom was a spiritual leader of our family. You know, we always went to Mass on Sundays, played sports, livestock shows and but God was always first. You know, my mom made sure my dad was a good man but worked hard and you know, if he could get the mask good if not no big deal. You know, so we grew up praying knowing God, Mary and the importance of of God. Yeah. So as a young man, you know, all of us have to make a choice, right? To own our faith, that sort of thing. Right. When we're under our good parents, I mean, we have, we have, all of our kids have empty nested so we understood we watched this occur. Right. I remember telling Stephanie, I said, we will not discover where they truly are in their faith until they step out from under us. That structure and pressure is gone, you know, to be good Catholics. Then we'll see how low the needle adjusts. Right. We got to be ready for that, you know, and so we experienced that with our kids. How, when you, when you left your house, how low did your needle go or did it stay strong or how was it? No, it went down. I left high school with the college, the rodeo for McNeese and I got up there and started drinking and and the thing about it is I would go in and work retreats on campus and be close to God. But then within two weeks, I was drunk and, you know, living a sinful life, you know, and just never could stay committed to God, you know. I wanted the flesh was weak. Yeah. But what's interesting about your story is, you say I never stayed committed to God, but it feels like there was always a tether that you never cut. Because we can cut that tether. We can say I reject my faith. You never reject your faith, right? No, sir. But I still chose sin over God. I knew right from wrong and I knew if I died, I'd go to hell. You know, I mean, I knew my mom taught me that much, you know, sleeping around, drinking, drunkenness and it didn't bother me. I don't know why. You know, at times I get scared, yeah, I go to confession, but I just could not stay hooked, you know. Yeah, yeah. And nobody put a gun to my head to drink or make me do crazy things, you know. I also rebel myself, you know. I would lead guys to drinking and partying, cooking and stuff like that. Yeah. What's interesting you say, you don't know why. I mean, I think, so you remain tethered to the church in the sense that you would always consider yourself a Catholic, right? Yes, sir. Yes. So you always consider yourself a Catholic, but you would sin and, of course, you're describing mortal sin, a lot of mortal sin. And sin makes you stupid. Yeah. Right? Sin darkens the intellect, weakens the will. So when you commit a venial sin, it darkens the intellect, which means it clouds up your mind regarding decision, you know, good. And then it weakens your will, which means you're more susceptible to sin more. And so it sounds like what was happening to you is, yes, you valued your faith, but then you got sucked into that, like a sin vortex, if you will, downward, not upward. And then what caused you, like why would you go to confession? I mean, because it sounds like you're pretty well catechized. You probably knew there's a problem sinning and then just going to confession knowing you're going to do it again. I mean, would you be aware of that issue? Yes. Yes, I'd bounce all around town and go to different priests, you know. I was going to confession all the time and I didn't want to keep going the same way. Yeah. And just playing games, you know, trying to manipulate God like I was people, you know. I always had my scapular on since I was a kid, you know. And I thought no matter how I lived, if I died, I'd go to heaven just because I wore the scapula. I didn't understand that part. Okay. Yeah. And of course, we know what did you have? Do you have something you want to say? No, no, I just find it fascinating that, you know, we see this in a lot of our young people, I think, you know, I can certainly testify to my past and Dan to his that we go through these patterns of trying to do mental gymnastics with our faith and with God to say, I'm okay, I'm okay, you know, and we lie into our parents, we're lying to others around us, we're lying to our family, and ultimately we're lying to ourself. Yes, ma'am. Right, you know, because I think that's what you're saying. If you were just lying to yourself bouncing all over the place. Yeah. So in just a brief note about the scapula, you said you believed, you know, sort of a get out of jail free card. But of course, we know the teaching of the churches, I just want to make people know. Yeah. Is that, well, do you want to tell them? I know you know now. No, you share. Well, so it's, you have to live according to the promises. You have to correspond to the grace that you're actually requesting. You have to live in a way that's consistent with that grace to receive that grace. So, but you didn't know that when you're younger, but you figured out later. But so eventually, you exited out of the education world and you entered into the business world. When did you get married? Was it half before? I got married in 1991. After I left college, I went pro-rhodium for a little bit and quit that, went home, broke. My wife was teaching school at the time. So I got home. I went into selling cars and we, three months after we was married, Kelly, we was pregnant and had a beautiful dark gallon. And then I have three daughters. But yeah, I got into sales and then I started a waste company that my dad had. I kind of took over it and we grew it. And through this whole time, the business was growing. We was working hard. I was bringing guys hunting, fishing, golf and, you know, entertaining and showing my appreciate the work and a lot of drinking going on. So I missed out a lot on my kids in the name of money. And then I ended up selling the waste company. I started it in round 94. In 99, we sold it to waste management. So I had to stay on board with them. But this whole time, even when I sold it, I didn't give God no money. I didn't do no time, none of that. You know, it was all me that, you know, I thought that built that company and little did I know was God, that's his grace and blessing that did it. So you were still so you exited out of the college crazy days, but you retained the drink. You essentially retained the lifestyle, but you added marriage with that. Is that a maybe described like what was your wife's experience of you then? Well, she was okay with it because she, the culture we lived in, she's seen my dad, you know, her dad work, go make money, stay home, the wives take care of the kids and stuff. And so she was okay with it in a sense, because that's all she knew. So I was going a lot, you know, she taught the kids their prayers, you know, the kids are getting older now and stuff. And I'd send the kids to the catechism. Thank God for catechism teachers and stuff. And I didn't even realize that I should have been teaching them about God, their prayers, because I was more worried about making money, being successful. Yeah. When did, when so, but there was a point at which things started to turn, because you've described to me the walls are moving in. What was the first movement of the wall in, because it was in that context? Well, it was a lot later. This was like in 989. This didn't happen until like 2000. I'm a slow learner, Dan. You know, it takes me a while. But I had another company that I bought and built up and I bought it. And I think it was in like 2005 or 2006, something like that. And I bought the company and we was going to grow it and make more money and blah, blah, blah. And by this time, my girls are 16, 14, and eight-year-old. And it was 2010. Just mentally, spiritually, I was not at peace, you know, and spiritually bankrupt. And I hadn't been to mass, really, or adoration or anything in years, as far as devotion. And it was just one day, you know, I woke up and shared with my wife that, you know, I needed help. That I was sick. And I didn't like the word alcohol. You know, I'd use the word sick, you know. So anyway, it's through the grace of God that I was able to be humble, finally look at myself, to ask God for help. Well, you know what, actually, I just realized we're up on a break. So when we get back, we'll continue with Lance Mudd, a good man who found his way to the Lord and grace and freedom. And we'll, you'll be excited or blessed to hear the rest of the story. We'll be right back. So that's 1311. So, but probably, probably just call it 13, because I was doing a bunch of stuff up front. No, I started it right. No, we'll call it 13. Hey, friends, we're in the, we're in the break right now. And I wanted to remind you again, Mystery of Sep 2, Adjustment Countdown to Lance. If you want your Lent to be different this year instead of, if you've struggled or really never got anything out of it, spiritualdirection.com forward slash events, free webinar tonight. You know, Tuesday, January 23rd is what I'm saying this. So, and you will be blessed with some insight. And I'm going to actually share my own failures, which I think are helpful, and a failure of the past Lent that I'm hoping to fix this Lent by taking my own stupid advice. It's not stupid advice. It's good advice, I think. But anyway, we'll do that. And then there's a new course, the Avaly Institute. I want to tell you about Bible and the Revelation of Prayer, from Genesis to all the way to the New Testament. Very powerful, taught by Dr. Alfonso Pinto and to graduate level course. And that will be available March 11th. So, go to abaladashinstitute.org. For all of the courses, some of them are, all of them are taught by these same professors with all the credentials to teach graduate studies. But some of them are for busier people who don't want to do papers and that sort of thing, the same high quality formation. So, check that out at abaladashinstitute.org and then spiritualdirection.com forward slash events for all of our events that are upcoming. Last thing I want to say before we head into the break, just so grateful to EWTN. I think that the American Church would be a disaster area if it wasn't for her and great men like Fulton Sheen and others, even now, just even thinking of Father Fesio over at Ignatius Press and his crew. Just key people that the Lord blessed the United States with to help us stay on track. Carl Keating, but so much of that came through EWTN, so much of the promotion and the success of a lot of Catholic Apostolates came through the channel of EWTN and Mother Angelica. So, please make sure your support in EWTN and tell them we sent you. Okay, I have the opening for the next segment. Yeah, the opening. All right. Yeah. All right. On your mark, get set, go. Welcome back to Divine Intimacy Radio. Dan and Stephanie Burke talking with Lance Miden, a powerful testimony of redemption and Steph, you had a... Yeah, yeah. So, I'm listening to, you know, your story about the alcoholism and, you know, the constant work and it seems to me, and it's not only just the alcohol, it's also workaholic, you know, both is going on. Yes, ma'am. Looking back, what do you... Have you thought about, like, how you got into that cycle, like, why that was happening? You know, why did work become basically an idol for you, and then what was the role of alcohol in that? Because I, you know, I don't... I'm just wondering, you know, did you... I don't... I think many people would say they're drinking in order to mask something or to inebriate something, some sort of internal struggle that's going on or whether it's drugs or any other kind of addiction. Have you thought at all about why that, like, what was going on with that? Yes, ma'am. I really think, you know, I was wanting to be successful in the world's eyes, and to me, that was being able to make X amount of dollars and materialistic stuff, and, you know, then the drinking part of the alcohol was, you know, you entertaining people, you around them, and you got to be all happy, blah, blah, blah, and it's no excuse, but the alcohol would numb it, you know, to where every morning or during the night or whatever you're bringing them, hey man, how you doing? And so it was just a vicious cycle of... Sounds like you were trying to connect with people. Yeah, yeah, you know, after a while, I was good at it, but day in, day out, you know, you're on this golf course, you're over here in this business, and it's all a bunch of lies and fakes, you know? Yeah. And I was part of, you know, of, you know, he's only buddies because he gave me money. If you didn't sign in voice, I didn't fool with you. Yeah, yeah, you know. Yeah, that's profound revelation, I think. You know, to figure out like why you were doing it. Yes, ma'am. I think that's helpful for people. Yeah, I hear... The other thing I hear, I don't know if it's true, you tell me, is there, you know, well, Scripture reveals the law of God is written in our hearts, right? And then the way God works is he was drawing you through all of that, and so did the alcohol. So you said, you know, lies and false friendships and things like that. So the alcohol masked, or the alcohol gave you the ability to deal with the incongruity of your life, the contradiction of values you had that were, you know, not super strong, but strong enough to say, I, you know, I need to be somebody I'm not. I mean, I'm sure you didn't think about that way, but it enabled, it enabled you. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah, you know, and then not have to face reality a lot of times. You know, your wife calling about this, or employees, disgruntled, wanting this, wanting that, and they're never happy. So you know what? I could get in the liquor and not have to worry. In my mind, you know. Yeah. And I think that's really important for people to understand is that at its core, you're really dealing with anxiety. You're dealing with fear, you know, the next shoe is going to drop, the next pressure is going to be put on me, the next burden, I gotta succeed, I gotta earn, I gotta, you know, all these things, and that inebriated and just helped you to keep going, whereas probably inside you were about to break. No, exactly, exactly. So the Holy Spirit's working on you, and then you had a key event, didn't you? Was it in 2010? Yes, 2010, January. Tell us about what happened in 2010 that was kind of the turning point for you. 2010, we went out, me and my family, my brother, sisters, and everyone to celebrate a successful deal my brother put together, and that night I, me and my wife went to bed and I wake up the next day morning, you know, looking to see what she was, and I figured she was still in the hotel, but she done left, and I got so drunk I didn't even know what time it was, but it was one o'clock in the day, and I had to get a taxi cab to bring me home 30 miles away. So on the way home, you know, I'm just thinking like, this is enough, you know, mentally, spiritually, physically, I was bankrupt, financially I was good, but I was bankrupt. So when I pulled in my house and went in to visit with my wife and shared with her, you know, because it's hard, you know, I always said I'll never sell my alcohol, you know, but some, I went in and shared with her and she said, you know, look, we'll get through this, and, you know, say well you go to rehab, and I said yeah, if I have to, you know, so rehabs are great, you know, it was just me being uneducated, no knowledge, I'm like, hey man, you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough, you know, my old grandpa, you say that, if you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough, and so I knew I was stupid, you know, so that's when I just quit cold turkey. Now I want to say, I want to say something, so he quit cold turkey and I want to say he was successful, but what he discovered afterwards, was that actually could have killed you, right? Yeah. What did you learn about that? I recommend go get help, you know, don't just quit cold turkey, because, you know, I don't know how much you drink, what you drink or whatever, but there's, there's help out there, but it's hard, the humility part, the devil don't want to let you go, you heard about people talking about you in the community, what the hell are they talking about you now, they're laughing at you, so yeah, you done, you done, you didn't pass all that, you know, because whenever you, in that spot, you think you have everyone's food, nobody knows what's going on, everybody knows. Yeah. Yeah, the one that's that has the problems, the only one is in the door, everybody knows. Yeah, and really it takes an enormous amount of courage to even just come here and talk about your story, you know, Dan and I have experienced that in testifying to our own story, and that's a huge thing, so tell us about going to God, so at that moment, you've, you've confessed to your wife, you know, I think I have a serious problem, I'm sick, she's asking you to go to rehab, and so you, you just basically to, I don't know how else to say it, you take the reins and you go to God, right, so what happened? Well, I was detoxing, wake up one night, and I just get dressed, I drive in the town, and I'm going to church, because I knew from my younger years, every time I get off the road, and bad, go to God, so I went, church was lost, and I'm outside like, God, here I am finally, and you're going to lock me out, you know, and I was mad, and so I walked around, and there was a little chapel, adoration chapel, and I didn't realize it at the time, it was called adoration chapel, but I go in, over gentlemen was there, and I sat on the side of God, because I knew I wasn't worthy to be in front of it, I knew that, so I sat on the side, and I just slept, I didn't pray rosary, didn't have a Bible, nothing, just slept, but when I woke up, I was about two hour little nap, there was some peace and a calm over me, and I couldn't put my finger on it, or nothing, and after that, I continued going to adoration, to the chapel, and then I finally got the courage up, to find a priest to go to confession, so I went to confession, then I started going to Mass, and it's hard to explain God just started putting different saints in front of me, I didn't know any saints, so I used to laugh at my mom and my grandma, and praying to the saints and all, but anyway, yeah, I can honestly say that, me just showing up to adoration, and doing nothing, just sitting, and letting God do what he does best. Yeah, you're under the gaze of the Father, Yes, ma'am. under the eyes of the Lord, and that's enough, right? It is. That outpouring of grace moved you forward, gave you enough to keep going. Yes, ma'am. What a beautiful thing. How long did it take to detox? It was a pretty horrible experience. It was most probably five days, four or five days of sweating, headaches, and stuff like that. Yeah, I just want to reiterate, if somebody's thinking of quitting, and you're encouraged by this story, a man getting free, you should do that under the care of somebody, because just quitting, you can literally die. I know I've said, I just want to make sure people know, you were blessed and protected by the Lord. But that's a miracle in itself. You know, that's a miracle. How long have you been without? It's 14 years. Isn't that awesome? God be praised. I know, I know. That's awesome. What is the secret, do you think? I mean, one, I always say, if you're not all in, you're not in at all, right? And so you're kind of, you're an all in kind of dude, generally speaking. Yes. So when you said I'm done, and it reminds me a little bit of my son, Jordan's story, and he's told that publicly about his struggles. But when he, and I always tell this to people, and I want you to say, I'm wrong or right, whatever, but I use his example, now I'm going to use yours. I'm going to say, I know two guys, that when they were done, they said they were done, and within the year, that they made that decision, they were essentially free. Now that doesn't mean they didn't have to fight, but there are a lot of people who string this out over decades and, you know, just don't, I mean, what's, why is it that you think you and Jordan were able to get free? Is it just that all in, or what is it? I think it's God's grace. Yeah. And, and really, for me, I don't know about anybody. Yeah. For me, it was like, God was like, I asked the gigs up. Yeah. You either in or out. Right. I know he loves me. I know he's merciful, but I've been playing God in a sense all these years, in and out. And I know he loves me no matter what, but it was like, if you won't help, you either in or out. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm in God. Yeah. I'm tired. You know, and I think it's, it's God is calling us all, whether it's alcohol, drugs, just sin in general, greed, lust, pride. Yeah. You know that, it's, it's, it's just having that relationship and trusting and, you know, a Catholic church has a lot to offer. Yeah. But I didn't know much at all. All I knew was Jesus, I trust in you. That's all I had because of divine mercy, St. Faustino. Yeah. And, and, and I was like, okay, God, I'm gonna trust you. Because I never really had before every time in the past, things would get hard or whatever. I'd just roll over and, and turn from it. But I knew this time. I don't know. He gave me grace. Yeah. It's nothing I did. I just said yes. Yes, Lord, I'm in. Yes, Lord, I'm in. And that yes got you into regular mass, regular adoration. You also said you started to go into a lot of different retreats and things like that, right? Yes. Just it wasn't, were you doing a lot of that knowing, was it consciously replacing attitudes and friends? Or why, you know, how did you, what was that process to think, well, I'm living this life this way because then you had to get rid of all your stash and all your, you know, and, and your patterns. How did you do all that? Trusting God, you know. And then, I started learning about saints, like St. Francis of Assisi, St. Faustino, bless me, get up real different saints. Uh, I could relate to of how to detach and what not. And, you know, I call all the guys that worked with me and I told them, said, look guys, they knew, they knew. I didn't tell them I quit drinking. It was crazy. I quit drinking and quit cussing. That's it. They didn't know I was going to mass. They didn't know I was going to adoration. Nothing. They thought I had cancer. Well, they thought you were dying. Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, I had a vulgar mouth of construction. We throw a lot of cuss words out there. Got to be rough around the edges. And I wasn't coming in hungover. I was more balanced, that peace. Measured. And I guess they could see it, you know. So anyway, it's just trust, you know. Have you found that your conversion has affected others? What's been the impact on, say, the guys? I know you're retired now. Yes, ma'am. But what did you see the outpouring of that? Did you see kind of a... Yes, ma'am. Because the guys that worked with me knew me for a long time, and they was taking bets that I would start drinking again or whatever, you know, behind my back. And I didn't know. And they had every right, because I was a hypocrite in college. Even though I'd go to the church and work retreats, two weeks later at the rodeo, I was drunk, blah, blah, blah. So I was a hypocrite. You know, I made young men's casilla, and then a month or two, whatever, I was back cussing, drinking, whatever. And so it was just another pattern, like, man, this is like the same old thing. But this time it was different. God really interceded for me, you know, Mother Mary and the saints. And so, you know, I don't... I would just try to live at peace. You know, I'd invite the guys that worked for me to retreats if they didn't want to go. I understood it, I didn't pressure them. And God is the one that would open the door and they would sign up and go, you know? Oh, God be praised. And all the men that I've laid away from Christ by bringing them here and they're drinking, you know, I've called them, invited them, and not all of them, but a lot of them made the retreats. Because I'm like, okay, I'll let these men away from Christ. Now you really gotta fix it. Yes, sir. You know, and God's like, I got it, I'll do it. It may not be you, but I'll get them somewhere. Awesome. You know, it's cool about conversations like this and we've got to bring it to a close is that the Lord works, you know, your story is the story of God intervening in your life and bringing you out of the pit into a new life in him. And so grateful you came to tell it to us, because I know there's somebody out there, male, female, who knows. I know for a fact there is. I just know it. Who needed to hear that there is hope and you can get out. But I will say you got to be all in and ready to kill it. And I think that's a big part of your personality. Now that doesn't mean you could do it without God, but we, Stephanie always says he won't save us without us, you know. So it's, we've got to play a part in that. Yeah, but God's, you know, Jesus is still healing his people. And I think that's the most important thing that we make sure that gets out there. So have hope. Don't wait till you're perfect to come. Your brokenness is not a barrier. And so your poverty is not a barrier to God's mercy. It's not. And in fact, I think that's what attracts the Lord to us. So thank you for sharing your story with us today. And remember that God loves you no matter where you at, how far, how dark, how many sins that it's love. We don't deserve it. But he pours it on. So no matter if you have an alcoholic husband, brother, love unconditionally, pray to God, Mary, and just trust. Absolutely. Amen. So until next time, may the God of peace make you perfect in holiness. May he preserve you whole and entire spirit, soul, and body irreproachable at the coming of our Lord. Jesus Christ. Amen. Amen. Amen. The Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.