 Now I have to warn you. I've been making edits on the fly to my speech. The governor general stole all my best lines Yes, that's how it's gonna go tonight You know start with a couple of a quick knowledge minutes first I want to thank my caucus colleagues for being here tonight. We don't normally whip attendance at these kinds of events But apparently we can use the practice Je veux aussi remercier notre hôte manon pour avoir fait un travail extraordinaire ce soir ça doit être un peu déstabilisant pour toi d'être dans une salle où il y a plus d'invités que de personnes qui s'abonnent au devoir En fait manon j'espère que tu n'es pas encore fâché avec l'affaire des scroms au troisième étage de toute façon tes journalistes ne nous écoutent pas et nos ministres non plus And finally I I really do want to thank vice for letting you all into their exclusive tonight Tonight we come together to celebrate the 150th anniversary of Canada's parliamentary press gallery 150 years of comforting the afflicted Afflicting the comfortable and from time to time having the incomparable Kerry Fraser narrate play-by-plays of prime ministerial elbows I Have been banging on the glass working my whole life to have Kerry Fraser notice me. It's possible. I went a little too far Of course as a Habs fan, I can't agree with all of his calls But nice hair though. I Want to acknowledge some of the other guests who are here tonight Rana Ambrose has done a great job as interim leader of the opposition hasn't changed I'll tell you it's been really nice for Liz and me to have another female party leader in the house Tom Mulcair Récemment eu quelques ennuis avec ses collègues du NPD ça lui a probablement rappelé ses dernières années au PLQ Parlant du PLQ au moins y aurait maintenant le temps de profiter du moir food pour lequel il s'est embattu Tom and I we're not really that different for example if polls are to be believed Tom Mulcair's number is now also 9 so I'll let you invent your own segue on this one But in case anyone was wondering I won't be swearing tonight because my mom is here Actually, how about a round of applause for Kim Cattrell? finally someone Without whom I would not be Prime Minister here tonight standing before you without whom Guaranteeing she'd be up here on stage with me. I wouldn't be up here in front of you on stage I want to ask you to join me to welcome The mother of my oh so convenient and effective props my children the daughter of my globe trotting in-laws and Canada's first lady of song, please put your hands together for Sophie Trudeau Sophie Sophie Trudeau Grégoire Sophie Grégoire Trudeau Sophie Thank you Thank you so much. It's a Ecouté c'est la vérité c'est que je prends vraiment ma courge à deux mains pour être ici sur scène ce soir Alors merci de m'accueillir Sophie what are you wearing tonight we all want to know Oh my god. Thank you so much for asking So I'm wearing Canadian all Canadians So this is entitled from Quebec Montreal the doer of designers and these earrings are a Sappho Originally a Montreal designer who is now living in Toronto. So it's all Canadian. I'm wearing Canadian. Thank you You know when I thought of the opportunity that I was going to have to be here on stage in front of all of you tonight I thought it's the best chance I have to express myself in song and you were so kind to me the last time I sang and You were great really You you you put me out there in all newspapers and then in the media. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it Thank you. We all appreciated that and you know I always speak from the heart with an open heart as a yogi and so I call the PMO I call the PMO and they always like I always let them know how I feel and I said all right listen in order to do this I need a pianist a cellist and a violinist because I need a team. I need to feel supported Right Well the one thing that I couldn't believe is that and you probably don't know this but nobody can play the harp on your team No, we're working on that. I love I love the heart So I thought listen I can stand solely on my own, right? So I'm gonna sing But um, so what's the next line? Forget it get on with the rest of my speech because I'm I'm feeling totally grounded now. Thank you. This grounds me really You're feeling totally what sorry grounded. Yeah, you're feeling grounded. Yes. No, no, no So when I sing my love it's about being elevated. It's elevating ourselves up into the skies but in yoga it's it really is about being grounded and Team team yoga mat, please Yoga mat, please. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you right over here guys right over here Yep, Jerry just pay attention. Thank you. Yeah, so line it with the speaker a little bit Thank you. I don't roll or unroll mats. Oh, they get tend to be dirty. Thank you. Thank you. All right Thank you, and I'm sure that you all know that in politics It's really about keeping a balancing act and finding peace and quietness Amidst the chaos and amidst the adversity and so in yoga It's always important to keep at least the hands or the feet to the ground. So my love When you do this and you should be doing more of it, right? You keep your hands here and then the balancing act goes like this You should be doing more of this because you'd be hitting less people my love, right? And this is really good for anger management Tom. You want to try it? Yeah, no, I think Tom's not gonna hurt his brand by By coming up here tonight But thank you, baby. I should really continue with my speech now Don't go yet my love So that was totally normal I was also gonna tell you this great joke about quantum physics But then I realized I'd have to explain it all and since it was an incredibly subtle punchline I decided not to bother because I didn't want to bore you now I Know some of you will want to know when my office will become subject to a tip I don't know why you need that when my entire search history is already online They color did media party have a cabinet shuffle. I need to know this stuff Reporters named Justin Looking at you Ling Sometimes I look things up to help me make important decisions tie colors that show regret And sometimes it's a little too late Does NRC have a time machine, please? Sometimes it's too late because let's face it. I've got more mistakes than Jason Kenny has deleted tweets Like that time I said I admired China. Oh Yeah, that that's why I said that my my spinners will have told you what's called playing the long game Speaking of long games, I'm a little sad that President Obama will be leaving public office soon There's been a lot of talk about my bromance with President Barack Obama How I look up to him how I have so much to learn from him and I'm like Barack You're absolutely right. Thank you for pointing it out again I have to admit though. I'll miss his leadership and his good advice. I will not miss the wedgies Some of you have asked me what I think about Kevin O'Leary. I Actually think he'll do great. His resume includes time spent in Dragonsden and a shark tank What better training ground for Wednesday morning caucus meetings Whether he runs for the liberal leadership or the conservative leadership But Kevin if you decide to launch to launch it in politics I hope that you will follow first seven days of training to help you to make the transition from business to the political world Pick up a has only done that for five days and clearly there was really missing essential during the last two days Before I finish I want to give a few shout-outs to the lick spittles First I have to congratulate Paul Wells on finally joining the liberal party. Oh, no, sorry. I meant the Toronto Star Congratulations also to Jeffrey Simpson whose upcoming retirement surprised many of us mostly because we thought he'd retired 10 years ago And To Rosie Barton whose freckles as it turns out are actually an allergic reaction to being exposed to so many talking points And TVA Well TVA they don't get out of their newspapers often Raymond and Michelle have not even participated in the most important public interest report of the year The invasion of domicile by a big wild boar in out of where Honestly, it's disappointing. Where are you? It's first on the news last on the spot The big canons of Radio-Canada You know that we love them Milani Jolie has gone to the big day the secret the least well-preserved. Well, that's easy radio-Canada And of course, I can't not mention Terry Guillaume True story. I remember how disappointed I was to read that Terry was leaving the press gallery Until someone told me he was leaving because I'd hired him To these individuals and to the many many more who dedicate themselves to this nine to five beat Thank you for your hard work It's a tricky relationship The dance between those whose job it is to make smart tough decisions and those whose job It is to ask tough questions about those decisions when they turn out to be really really dumb It isn't always easy It isn't always nice But a healthy democracy needs your work as much as it needs mine Okay, even more And with that I offer you my congratulations on 150 years may you continue to be a thorn in our side for centuries to come Until next year. Merci beaucoup