 The narcissist is always watching, the narcissist is always watching, spying on you, you may not have seen them or heard from them for some time, but that doesn't mean that they're not still watching you, narcissists have an obsessive nature. The thought of you and what you're doing constantly preoccupies their mind continually and to a troubling extent. They are constantly talking or worrying about you, they feel great anxiety and distress when they don't know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. They have to know all of this. It gives them reassurance and calms their anxiety and distress. They can't just forget about you and move on with their lives. They know that they have caused many problems and difficulties for you in your life. They're watching you because they want to see the consequences or the after effects of everything that they have done to you. They knew that everything they were doing to you was going to have an effect on you, so they want to return and continue to watch and observe you, to witness the effects of everything that they have done to you. They want to witness your sorrow or distress for them not being in your life anymore. They want to see how it is affecting you, all of the things they did to you. If they cheated on you, they want to see if you are hurt about that. If they lie to you, they want to see if you're onto them or if you've figured them out. If they've stolen from you or used your money, they want to see if that made your life difficult. If they tried to separate you from people and isolate you from family or friends, they want to see if you're going to get in contact with them again. They want to see if you have found someone else. If you're happy or satisfied, if you're able to move on without them, they will continue to watch and spy on you, so they know if you're okay. They know what you're doing and what's going on in your life. And it's not because they care. It's not because they want to help you. They want to see your pain, sorrow and distress. They want to be the cause of it and they want to see it. It regulates their emotions, boosts their self-esteem, makes them feel good. What they don't want to see is any significant improvement or positive change in your life. They don't want to see you being happy or satisfied after they've left. That affects what they think and believe about themselves. Every time the narcissist checks in to watch, they want to see you in a state or condition that is becoming progressively worse and they wanted to keep getting worse for you. They want you to become more and more miserable, more and more dissatisfied with your life. They want to see you in this state or condition because it gives them an advantage. It suggests that you have been unable to succeed in dealing with the problems or difficulties that they had instilled into your life. It suggests that you need them and that you can't live without them. It makes them feel powerful and superior to you. They don't reflect on or consider the fact that they cause all of those problems or difficulties to occur. In their minds, they can put all sorts of obstacles and setbacks in your life. And if you can't overcome them, you're weak, you're inadequate. And they know that they have to do this. They know that they have to affect you and put limitations or restrictions on you. Where it makes it difficult for you to progress or succeed, they know your capabilities and potential. That was what attracted them to you in the first place. Once they begin to devalue you, they know they have to start causing problems and difficulties for you and isolating you from the people around you so that you have no support. They have to do this because they are fully aware of your capabilities and potential. And deep down they believe that you are superior to them. That's why they have to constantly prove their false sense of exaggerated worth and constantly compete with you. That's why they have to cause so many problems and difficulties for you. Create inconvenience and place limitations and restrictions on you. They have to do all of this because they are fully aware of your capabilities and potential. But they never reflect on or consider the fact that they were the source of all of these problems and difficulties that you are to endure. They don't consider that because then that would only remind them that they are the weak, inadequate ones. And they want to see you as being weak and inadequate. So they have to distort and reinterpret the situation in a way where it becomes more favorable to them. And they are able to reverse the roles and see you as the one who is weak and inadequate. Because you can't overcome the obstacles and setbacks that they have placed in your life. It's a distorted, illogical way of thinking. But that's how they have to see it. That's how they have to see it for them to cope and defend their false sense of power and superiority. They might come back and tell you that you're not doing so good without them. It makes you reflect on yourself. And then you wonder if maybe they're right. Maybe you're not doing so good without them. Maybe you can't live without them. It makes you reflect on yourself and how you struggle to endure and overcome the obstacles and setbacks that they place in your life. You focus more on yourself and your struggles. Rather than the fact that they were the ones that caused all of these problems and difficulties to occur in the first place. They leached off your time, energy and resources to sustain them and make it easier for them to move on without you. Well you were most likely left with nothing or the bare minimum. And yet they have the arrogance and the audacity to make it seem like you're not doing so good or you can't live without them. When everything that supported and sustained them after they left most likely came from you. They want to averse the roles and make it seem like you need them when really they're the ones who need you. And that's the only reason why they come back. That's the only reason why a narcissist would continue to watch or spy on you. It's because they need you. They are dependent on you. They are the ones that cannot live without you. So they keep watching and spying on you to see the effects or the aftermath of the damage that they have caused. And they want to see if they can get back in with you. While you might be struggling to deal with the damaging effects, the problems and difficulties. It gives them an advantage. It gives them the upper hand. Where you might need their support. You might need something from them. They want to keep watching and spying on you because it gives them the ability to see where you are in your recovery. It lets them know if you have made any significant improvement or positive change in your life. But that's not what they want to see. Narcissists are predators. They are watching and spying on you to find a vulnerability, weakness or insecurity. Which they can then use to exploit you or use against you. When someone comes back after they know exactly what they have done wrong to you. They're only wanting to see the pain and distress that they have caused. They want to make full use of and derive benefit from your deficiencies. Where it gives them an advantage in a way that might be considered unfair or underhanded. If you have made significant improvements or positive changes in your life. That displays strength. That shows that you don't need them. It shows that you have moved on from them. But when they are watching or spying on you. That's not what they want to see. They don't want to see any improvements or anything positive. They want to see you six months, one year later. Still trying to repair the damage that they have caused. Still at the beginning of your recovery. They don't want to see you achieving or obtaining anything without them. Because that will only prove that they were the inadequate ones. They were the ones that were never good enough for you. They want you to feel as though you need them and you can't live without them. And they may have no intention of giving or providing anything to you. They might just come back only to observe your pain, struggles and suffering. And if you have made any improvements or positive changes. They will only come back to sabotage that and make your life even more difficult. They don't want to see any development, growth or change. They want to see you in a state or condition. Where you are becoming progressively worse. And where you cannot achieve or obtain the things that you need. They want to see you in a state or condition. Where you cannot live in the way that you want to live in life. You have to make the necessary improvements and changes in your life. Where you are still able to live in the way that you want to live. Where you are still able to achieve and obtain the things that you need. The things that made you the person that you are today. The things that will make you into the person that you want to be. When they decide to come back. You want them to see you happy and satisfied. For real. You want them to see you still being able to give yourself the things that you desire, want and need. When they decide to watch you. You want them to see you live in your life. And they would wish that they could come back and partake in all the great things that you have to offer. When they decide to watch you. You want them to see you finally being able to be yourself. Finally being able to be free. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries you can email me at narksforthercoaching at gmail.com. Check out the new merchandise in the narksforther store. Where you can purchase your own narksforther t-shirt, tank top or mug. The link is in the video description. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.