 How to turn your guy friend into your boyfriend. So today we're going to start out with a question from someone in our community. And she asks, my question is how to navigate a friendship when you feel it's more than that. I have feelings for him and I'm pretty sure he has feelings for me too. But we're both being cool and taking our time which is fine. I just want to know ways I could start showing him. I like him so we can finally start making out. I love making out too. It's one of my favorite things. So I get you. There's some woman was asking saying it was like some kind of childish thing. Adults like making out too. It's not a big deal. It's a lot of fun. I think it's great. We've been together for about seven months now, met at work, but he has since left for another job. We text daily throughout the day and hang out just about once a week. He usually initiates contact. It's good. But I'm the one that usually suggests hangouts. It's not as good. I used to be in a committed relationship when we first met, but I'm not anymore. He shy and has not had a girlfriend in a long time. Thanks man. So that's her question. So today I'm going to talk a little bit about why this is happening with him and what you should do about it. And this is going to be. I'm going to have a few different ways to kind of start conversations with him so that you guys can kind of move into the relationship realm. If that's really something that you want to do here. And so my name is Matthew coast and welcome to the commitment connection. Before we get started with this, if you're really serious about having the relationship that you've always wanted, make sure to go to the goddess community.com and check out about joining our community there. So this guy that you're seeing right now, he's you said he's shy and you know, there might be something else that's going on there. And one of the things that kind of you might be a little bit concerned about like, like I look, I get it. I get being a shy guy. Like I used to be a shy guy. And I understand what that means when a guy is a shy guy. However, the thing that concerns me about this guy being a shy guy and not kind of moving things forward and pushing things forward is that he needs to be doing certain things as a man that he has these certain roles, these certain things that being a strong man requires. And one of them is pushing things forward. One of them is asking you to hang out. One of them is moving towards a romantic relationship between the two of you. Obviously, there's there's both sides to it. One of the analogies metaphors that I like to use is kind of like the metaphor of tennis where you're you know, you hit the ball and he has to hit it back, right? And it sounds to me like he's he's not really taking on those responsibilities. And that's kind of concerning. You know, one of the reasons why relationships to me, the reasons why I think relationships are really important to men is that in particular relationships help build men's character like nothing else. If you don't know much about my story and who I am, I used to be in the military. I was a an Iraq veteran. And when I came back from Iraq, I was when I started like getting into the dating scene and I remember I remember going to a bar and seeing these girls there and I was like, I saw them over there and I was like, all right, I'm going to go talk to them. And I like went walking over, you know, and all of a sudden like halfway over there, I like turned around and like didn't about face and started walking back. And what one of the biggest challenges for me was that was just the initial approach approaching a girl, moving things forward, taking things further. I mean, and I was a war veteran, you know, like I was like this this combat soldier, you know, eating, eating steak for three meals a day. And I'm like, you know, looking at these little girls, right? I like shoot guns and stuff. And I look at these little girls and I'm like scared to death to even go and talk to them or try to kiss them or try to move things forward with them, which is one of the reasons why I ended up getting into the the dating industry was because of all of that. That was kind of what initiated it because I was like this. I was like, oh, I'm this big bad soldier and I can't even go over and talk to a girl, which is really embarrassing. I'm glad I told you about that now. So anyway, the point is, is that it's a really important thing for a man to kind of get through and get over. So there's concerns that I have about making things too easy for a guy because all of a sudden it's like, okay, well, if there's other things where he needs to stand up and take charge and be a man, is he going to do that in your relationship? If you're making it really easy for him and he's not being challenged by that so that he has to go and do that because it's one of the things that makes men become men is this thing of going out and approaching and talking to girls and moving things forward. So I'm just throwing that out there just so that you know. Another thing is you want to make sure that he's not taken or that he is actually interested. My suggestion is that you assume that he's actually interested regardless of whether you know he's interested or not. And so that's the first thing that you want to do in this kind of thing of you turning this guy friend into your boyfriend is you want to make sure that he knows that you're single. So you mentioned in your comment that when you first met him you weren't and you're in a committed relationship. So you want to make sure that he knows that you're single. So it's an easy thing. Just talk about it. Talk about being single. Talk about going out and having guys approach you and oh well I'm single or you know whatever it's really easy just throw it out there somewhere in the conversation so that so that it's kind of cherry pick so that he can be like oh okay she's definitely single right because sometimes a guy guys get a little bit nervous if they're hanging out with girls and they like girls but they look at them and they're like I don't think she's single and I don't know what the dynamics are here and you know and then time goes by and you're like is it weird now. I don't know what to do and so just make sure that he knows that you're single you know maybe he does maybe doesn't you really mention that in there also make sure that you know that he's single so find out information about him talk to him about it you know find out if he's dating just ask him stuff like that like hey are you dating like have you gone out and like met girls like what you know and just do it and kind of like a friendly friendship kind of way just fishing for that kind of information.