 The significance of being real, regarding narcissistic relationships. When I talk about being real, I'm talking about what is existing or occurring in fact, what is known or proved to be true, rather than what is imagined or supposed. I'm talking about something that is real and authentic, rather than something that is an imitation or not genuine. I'm talking about being truthful and sincere with ourselves, rather than being in denial and refusing to acknowledge and accept an unacceptable truth or to admit it into consciousness. We have to see things for what they are. We have to see things for how they have occurred. We have to accept the truth of the situation. It is very significant and important for you to do this when you are dealing with a narcissist. It is very significant and important for you to do this when you are wanted to heal and move on from the narcissist. You have to be honest with yourself. You have to be honest with yourself about what you have been through. It is essential if you wish to heal from narcissistic abuse. You have to be honest with yourself even if it causes pain or discomfort. You have to be honest with yourself and other people. This includes being honest about yourself rather than deceiving people and causing them to believe something that is not true. You cannot change anything without honesty. You have to accept that there is a problem first otherwise there is going to be no desire or motivation to change anything. If you want things to change you have to start doing things differently. You have to change the way in which you think, feel, act and behave. But the only way that things are going to change is if you make a change. You have to do things differently than before to get a different result. When you fail to admit to yourself that something is true. When you deceive people and cause them to believe something that is not true. When you give someone a mistaken impression. This is the poorest quality or the lowest standard of practice or behavior that you can engage in. It has an effect on character, development and behavior. It damages the mental and moral qualities of yourself and other people. It destroys trust. It destroys what once may have been a firm belief in the reliability, truth or ability of someone or something. It gradually destroys safety. It destroys the condition of being protected from something harmful or dangerous. It makes people uncertain or anxious about themselves. It creates a lack of confidence where people feel unsure about their own abilities. It creates a sense of insecurity where people feel as though they are open to danger or threat. These are the consequences of deception, of not being real, honest or genuine. It is very damaging for a person to lie to someone else, but it is even more damaging when a person lies to themselves. The narcissist is a perfect example of this. They are unable to accept reality, they are unable to accept the truth, so they choose to live a lie. They refuse to admit the truth or existence of something or they refuse to give something requested or desired to someone, so it ends up controlling their entire lives. It ends up determining their behaviour and maintaining influence and authority over them because it takes up so much of their time and energy to continue denying the truth or existence of something, to continue refusing to give what was requested or desired to someone. We can seem appealing to lie or present a false impression, even if it might be considered wrong or unwise, we may even want to lie to ourselves, to make something unpleasant or intense less serious or severe or to fit in well with our needs, activities and plans, but without being real, honest or genuine, you cannot experience true intimacy. Honesty is an important quality or feature on which intimacy depends or is based, you cannot establish or develop anything on deception or lies with yourself or anyone else. People who deceive or lie will experience emotions such as guilt and shame, this can have a strong emotional and energetic effect on the person, depending on the extent of the area or subject matter and the opportunities or possibilities to deal with it, the more worry, hardship and distress it is likely to cause. This is why it is so significant and important to be real with yourself and other people. It is so significant and important to be honest and genuine when you are no longer avoiding the truth, it takes away the worry, hardship and distress, when you deny the truth or existence of something or refuse to give something requested or decided to someone, you are creating a circumstance that makes progress or success difficult, when you do this you are telling yourself that you should not be regarded as reliable or truthful, you are not deserving of trust or able to be depended on, it creates an established set of attitudes, a way of thinking and opinions, that you are not capable of dealing with the truth, you do not have abilities or qualities necessary to do things effectively and skillfully and to achieve results, this creates more avoidance of intimacy or social interaction and more denial, when you are not real or honest with yourself, you are depriving yourself of your own authenticity, you are preventing yourself from being real, this is less than what you are able to achieve and it is less than what you are worthy of, you do have the abilities and qualities necessary to do things effectively and skillfully and to achieve results, you can deal with the truth and you can change the situation, you must have confidence, belief, faith, a firm belief in the reliability, truth and ability of yourself, thank you for watching, I hope this video resonated with you, please like, comment, share and subscribe, click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos, if you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description, coaching enquiries you can email me at naksfavicoaching at tumel.com, check out the demotion dice in the naksfavistore, where you can purchase your own naksfaviteeshirt, tank top or mug, the link is in the video description, thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.