 This is Mrs. Brooks, starring Eve Arden. The school has been going with Philip Boyden, Madison's biologist, for many years now. And as far as she is concerned, the sun rises and sets on him. The sun rises and sets on him, all right? But for the bulk of the day, our relationship is strictly for the birds. Of course, there have been some rays of hope recently. For instance, last weekend was his parents' 35th wedding anniversary. And knowing his mother's influence on Mr. Boyden, I wanted to go to Cedarville with him to help them celebrate. His mother had hinted two months ago that she wanted me to come, but Mr. Boyden hadn't mentioned it since. Nevertheless, on Friday morning, direct invitation or not, I was all set to go. I even had $30 of the 40 I'd need for playing fair there and back. At breakfast, I discussed the problem of raising the balance with my landlady. $10 isn't an insurmountable obstacle, honey. But it may take a little time to take it. Well, I don't have any time, Mrs. Davis. I've got to get the invitation from Mr. Boyden plus the $10 I need for the playing fair today. Have you any idea where I might borrow the money? I think I hear the doorbell, dear. You always hear it when I need money. But I wasn't thinking of borrowing from you, Mrs. Davis. All I wanted was a suggestion as to how I could handle my double dilemma. Well, dear, there is a way to handle the situation. You've got to appeal to people's sentimental side. Everybody has one, you know. And when it's appealed too properly, they'll do practically anything for you. Take me, for instance. I'm a pushover for the reminiscing approach. The reminiscing approach? Yes. With me, you might talk about the day you first came here to rent a room. Do you remember that day? Oh, I certainly do. I was wearing a brown dress with two green stripes down the back. Green stripes? That was from the park bench I'd been sleeping on. Yes, I remember that day distinctly. It was early in the fall of 1947. I had seen your ad in the paper, and it seemed like just the sort of a place I... Al, how do you do? I'm here about your ad in the paper. Wonderful. Where did you find it? Oh, I'm here about your room. Oh, I love your room. I don't care what you call it. Well, aren't you, Mrs. Margaret Davis? That's right. And isn't this 295 Carol Avenue? Right again. Well, I'm here to see about an ad in the paper concerning a room to rent. Well, thanks a lot. But I already have an ad in the paper about a room. Nobody's here. I'm here to see about an ad in the paper concerning a room to rent. I'm here to see about an ad for about a room. But come back next week. It's not rented by then. I'll use yours. All right, but our ad rates are a lot cheaper than the paper you're using now. What am I saying? Mrs. Davis, I'm here to try to rent your room. Well, for goodness' sake, I didn't just say so. Instead of beating around the bush. I'm just windy, I guess. Well, please come back. Well, I told you we're gamblers, Margaret. What did you say your name was? Brooks, Constance Brooks. I begin teaching at Madison High School next week. What's your name anyway? I can give you a letter of identification if you aren't. Oh, that won't be necessary. I like your appearance, and although there are four or five other people interested in the room, I want you to handle it. Well, thank you. Now the room and board is $20 a week. It includes use of kitchen facilities, electricity, Well, now gentlemen, let's move on. Seven years have passed since then. Seven years have been shared together. I believe it. They've been seven wonderful years, Connie. I don't like to mention it there, but could you let me have $10 on the rent you owe me? From the week before last. Oh, certainly, Mrs. Davis. I have some money right here in my purse. Here you are. $10. See what an appeal to sentimental news. I don't know. Wait a minute. We got turned around. I was supposed to get $10 from you. Now, if that's the way it is, I'll answer it. Greetings and salutations. Come in, Walter. I'll go out to the kitchen and get it for you. Sorry, I just... Is everything okay? Certainly, Walter. It's sentimental news. Well, there's nothing like sentiment, I always say. Especially if you've got $10 to throw around. Mr. Brooks, are you in Straits again? Just about $20 worth of Straits, Walter. I'll get it somewhere. Have you given any thought to Mr. Conk? Only when it's unavoidable. Oh, you mean as a sort. Oh, I'm afraid he's the last person who'd lend me any money. Well, that's probably true as a rule, but I happen to see him this morning and he's in an excellent mood. Really? He must have seen the next one somewhere. He might be worth a try at that. Well, if I'm going to talk to him before school starts, we better get going, Walter. You okay? Now, remember, Connie, when you see Mr. Conklin, be sure to appeal to his sentimental side. All right, Mrs. Davis, I may have to turn him over a few times, but I'll find it. I'm sure... I'll find it. I'll find it. I'll find it. There you are, Justin. Oh, thank you, Mr. Conklin. Come in, come in, whoever you are. Well, if it isn't one of the most honoured members of my faculty, you'd better put on your bifocals, sir. It's me. Well, of course it's you. Sit down, Mr. Conklin, and tell your principal how he can be a nurse to you. Your alarm doesn't go off and spoil this. You're in an excellent humor this morning, sir. And well, I might be. I've just learned that my salary raise has been confirmed for the next year, pending my report to the State Board, which meets in Cedarville. I have most fortunate coincidence, Mr. Poison visiting his folks there this weekend, and he's promised to deliver it for me. Now, what do you want, Mr. Poison? Mr. Poison, whatever. I want to speak to you about something else, sir. We've been together a long time. Haven't we, Mr. Conklin? Over seven years. Do you remember that first day we met? A song about an hour ago over on Bridge Street with Effigy. It was early in the fall, and I remember I happened to be in a very fine humor that day. It was a memorable day, all right. As I recall, I had just entered your office, and you got it. Did I say something wrong? I don't know, Kenny. And you must be Miss Brooke. You're so lucky. That's me, Mr. Conklin. Me, Miss Brooke? Oh, are you teaching English, too? I meant that guy, sir. I've heard a lot about you, Mr. Conklin, and if I may, I'd like to shake your hand. Don't get up. I'll just reach across the desk. Please watch that inkwell. I hope Mr. Conklin... Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir. It isn't too bad, though. Luckily, the ink won't show on your blue vest. It was a gray vest. It has long been a custom of mine to present to incoming teachers a brand-new blackboard point of luck. Thank you, over. Here's yours, and use it well. Oh, I will, sir. Thank you. Why, it's nice and whippy, isn't it? Watch where you're swinging that, Miss Brooke. Look out, Miss Brooke. Look out. Mr. Conklin, forgive me. That's the people. Everybody wants to see the acting game. All the club pay are responsible actions. Oh, I'll make it up to you, sir. Honestly, I will. Now, perhaps I'd better be off to class. I agree hardly. There's nothing else in here you could use for talking practice. I apologize again, Miss Conklin. I want you to know that as long as I'm teaching here at Madison, I'll make every effort to give this in. And we've got enough now. More than we ever had. Let's go somewhere else and start a real business. Well, I remember that hideous day when you first came to Madison. Yes, I waxed sentimental over the wrong occasion. No, no, not at all. Your choice was an admirable one. You reminded me of something I'd forgotten for low these many years. You know, you never did pay me for those glasses you broke that day. Mr. Conklin. In the infirmary of Madison, Mr. Conklin, in the interest of sweet sentiment, just hand over ten dollars, please. But, sir, I... Right now, Miss Brooks. Very well. Here you are, sir. Thank you. And now, just why did you come in here? You asked if I could use your phone for a moment. My phone? What for? To tell a dear little old lady that if she has any more bright ideas, she should keep them to herself. You miss Gantle. Well, since I felt that an invitation for Mr. Boynton was necessary before I could visit his parents with him, I decided to try Mr. Davis' sentimental approach once more. Luckily, when I sat down with him at lunch in the school cafeteria, Mr. Boynton was in an extremely nostalgic mood. Well, you're wrong. You know, I was thinking in my lab today about the things we've been through together. The good times and bad, heartaches and happiness. Oh, it certainly has been an experience. Sometimes, when I think about it, I wish we would never end. Maybe it doesn't have to, Mr. Boynton. Of course it does, Mr. Brooks. My frog, McDougal, can't live forever. I don't know. Is that who we were talking about? I'm not sure. There was only one of us. Could you find it in yourself to leave here? Let's reminisce for a minute, shall we? We've been going together quite some time, Mr. Boynton. I don't know what you're talking about. Do you recall at every stage we had together? Oh, indeed I do, Mr. Brooks. I remember it as if it were yesterday. That's because we did the same things yesterday. But that pretty night would forgive it. You don't need it. Matt? I don't know, Doc. Hey, have you heard the talk? It's going to be another of those William Tell acts late this afternoon. But the view, Mr. Boynton? Not much of it, too. Look at all those other parked cars. I guess they have the same idea I have. So their house for cash. Look at that full moon, Mr. Boynton. Isn't it lovely? It certainly is, Mr. Brooks. Those two might be fleecing here. On a night like this, you'd never believe it. Instead of being like the other way around, Ronald's snag can be pretty confusing. But it had to be the very nighty. She's been fleecing. I think she'll thank me. She'll thank you all since the first day we met two weeks ago. Well, I didn't hear. You beat me to it. I hit him rather broadly, didn't I? But you seem so reserved. It's my nature, I guess. I'll probably get over it though. Wanna bet? I'll bet Eagle Mountain is one of the highest points in this area. And one of the most fascinating. In fact, to cap the evening, I have a little surprise for you. A surprise? What kind? I'll show you the finest specimen of Eagle's nest you've ever seen. Let's talk to you for a minute. You like birds, you really enjoy this, Mr. Brooks. I'm listening. It's a bit difficult to reach, but once we find it, it'll be a little more perfect. There are lots of big mouths in this town. I see you got your bag in there. That was quite easy, Mr. Brooks. You might not believe this, but I kept a souvenir of that little expedition to this day. I thought it might be. A souvenir? Yes, indeed. Cressed in a book, I have the very band-aid I used when that baby Eagle scratched my hand. I'd forgotten all about that. That's because it wasn't your hand. But it is nice to reminisce, isn't it, Mr. Byron? Yes, it is. Oh, not to change the subject. Now you listen to me, Marshal. I'm a little short this week, and I was wondering if you could lend me $10. I'd like to get my parents a little anniversary present. Oh, naturally. I have it right here in my purse. There you are, $10. Thanks a lot. Hey, Mr. Boynton. Hello, Mr. Brooks. I'm sorry, Miss Goodman. What are you doing up here on the Eagle Mountain? Maybe you meant well. Oh, pardon me. That was $10 a show. What is it called? Oh, Mrs. Davis called and asked you to call her right back. You can use the phone booth over by the steam table. All right. Mr. Boynton, could you lend me a dime, please? Dime? I'd get you in the mood, but I can't afford it. Here you are, Mr. Brooks. Thanks. I'll be getting back to my class now. You me too. I'll see you later, Mr. Brooks. I'm driving you to Mr. Boynton Airport, you know. Fine, Walter. Oh, the Eagle say, hi, hi. We're really honored today. Came to see William Tell after all. Hi, Marshal. Hello. Oh, hello, Mrs. Davis. This is Conn. Can you see Goodman from there, Marshal? Can you call me back in a few minutes, please? I'm expecting an important phone call from Mrs. Schindler. Mrs. Schindler? Who's she? I have the slightest idea. Let me go first today. No. What's the matter? Are you nervous because of the law? I'm not nervous. Are you? Of course not. I'll put the bullet exactly where I'm at. I've got to listen to something. Well, go ahead, then. David, come to get back to class. I've gone out about ten paces. I called to find out if you cried the sentence. I tried it twice, Mrs. Davis. How did it work out? Once more, and I'd be walking around in a barrel. Good. Oh, that's a shame. Please remain quiet. Mr. Boyden, I invite you along for the weekend. Not quite, but since Walter's picking us up anyway, I could just go along as if I'd had an invitation. Quiet, please. The trouble is, I haven't a dime to pay for the plane ticket. Then I don't see what you can do about it. No airline is going to let you travel for nothing. They only do that, but you'll be accompanied by their parents. Oh, no. That isn't any... Wait a minute, Mrs. Davis. Is he dead? Not happy. You're not picking what I think you're thinking, are you? I hate ma'am, Grandma. I said if I did you'd stand trial for me. However, when Mrs. Davis mentioned that children were accompanied by their parents were permitted to travel free, she gave me an idea. I would try to go as a child. But as Walter and I drove to the airport with Mr. Boyden that afternoon, I still hadn't divulged my plan to him. Oh, boy, what a great day flying. You're right, Walter, but let's wait till we get to the airport to try it. All right, go ahead. Please, Miss Brooks, I'm not doing 40. I know you're not. You're doing 65. Now, slow down. Now, you'd better let him go, Miss Brooks. We haven't too much time. I swear, I don't understand you. It was so nice of you to come down with me like this. What are you going to be doing over the weekend? I'm going to see the bill. Well, that's where I'm going. I've come here to mention it before. I'm going to figure it out this way. How are you traveling? Interstate Airlines. What again? Was that the coincidence? A little more. Where are you staying in Cedarville? That's another coincidence at your parent's house. If you recall, your mother asked me to come up for their anniversary celebration. What could I have been thinking of when she asked you? Probably how to get out of it. I mean, you were chatting with your dad. Of course, I haven't got my place ticket yet. You haven't? I haven't got the money. Excuse me for barging in, Miss Brooks, but how do you propose to fly without a ticket? I have a little idea. If you take a look as I open my overcoat, I think you'll get the drift. A little more. Miss Brooks, you're dressed like a child. Where'd you get that ruffled dress and that large pink bow? Same place I got the pig tails I'm going to tie on. From the dramatic club wardrobe, it's good. Did it go all right? You're going to pass yourself off as a 12-year-old child? As a 12-year-old child, you don't stand out to the masses. I got something on a boat even with her legs tucked under. Oh, I get it, Miss Brooks. You think you can get past it for nothing if you're a kid going with her parent? Exactly, Walter. Miss Brooks, who's going to be your parent? I figured if you do his planning, should I just change the plan? That don't matter. You go instead. I'd like to confirm my reservation on a 430 plane decision. And there's more here for you to take care of me? It certainly is. This one was a real killer. There you are. Don't you touch me. You said you might could love me. Well, you will. Now, come on. No, no, no. All right, that's enough, Mauret. Oh, of course. You provided cheese with that. You heard what it was. I heard what you were planning to do. Right here, sitting on my bag. You're about to be my business after all, isn't it? You could step aside, madam, and let me see the child. Come on. You wouldn't. Yes, I would. I'm her. She's coming with me. What? You're 12 years old. Whatever, Mauret. You can't stop us, Marshall. You know how I can shoot. You see me. Don't try me, Mauret, even with a woman to shield you. Why not? Chester. I hear that you don't like me. You hear me? I've heard of women fibbing about that. You call that fair? This is no game, Mr. Knott. Drop it. Don't leave me, sir. She's only 12. And I ought to know I'm her boyfriend. Well, one of you is robbing the cradle. You seem so mature for 12. I know what a prize, sir, but how do you account for the fact that this little girl looks nearly as old as you do? Daddy's married to a much older woman. Yes. Look, the plane leaves in a few minutes. Are you going to let her through on my ticket? Well, there's no time to dig up her birth certificate, I suppose. And if you say she's your 12-year-old daughter, I guess I'll just have to... Oh, my goodness, I got here on time. Mr. Confield. Yes. Pardon me, little girl. I have an important report to give this gentleman. Here you are, boyden. If you'd just deliver this to the board, as you said you would, I'll be forever... Pardon me, little girl! Oh, no! Wait for quick or tweet. No, this little girl, sir. This little girl happens to be... Now, if this were suspense, a shot would ring out, and Mr. Conklin would topple over. Please, all I want to know is whether or not she's a 12-year-old child. A 12-year-old child? She's a high school English teacher. A high school teacher? Well, shame on you telling me you were 12 years old. It's possible. We have some pretty backward students where I teach. Well, this beats everything. I never thought anyone would go to such lengths just to travel half-fair. Half-fair? You mean children accompanied by their parents don't travel for nothing? Well, certainly not. On the family flight plan, only wives are permitted to fly with their husbands for nothing. I told you that was the rule, but you wouldn't believe me, would you, darling? Darling? What's going on now? I didn't know the rules, and since it's very important that I make this trip with him, I had to resort to desperate measures. Now, I see. Are you sure you're his wife? Well, darling, are we sure? Well, that's right, Miss Brooks. Miss Brooks? Well, in front of strangers. Now, what in heaven's name is... Denton, why are you following on my life now? There's no question to that. We've been married for quite some time. Of course we have. Come here, Philzie, and give your wife a great big kiss. Kiss? Oh, uh, of course, dear. There. Now kiss the other hand. I'm not going to be fooled a second time. Just how long have you two been married? 15 years. I've been so happy he's lost all track of time. I'm sorry, lady, but your word isn't enough. You'll have to prove that you're husband and wife. Prove it? Exactly. I want to see visible proof. Visible proof? Bon voyage, mommy and daddy. This is your son. But certainly explain my feelings for them both. I'd just like to say that I'm... Oh, isn't that cute? Walter's playing hide the handkerchief in Grandpa's mouth. Of course you're going to let me go through on my husband's ticket. Well, the plane's about to start, and there isn't time to check further, so I'll have to, I guess. But I'll tell you one thing. If you're not man and wife, I'm in a lot of trouble. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. You do? Yes. I've been in the same kind of trouble for over six years. And now here's the star of our show, Eve Arden. Well, love on the wing can be an awful headache, especially when you fly without a ticket. This week at this same time and over this same station, Eve Arden in the role of Madison High School's favorite English teacher, Miss Brooks, will again call the student body together. Don't you be absent. Our Miss Brooks is presented each week through the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service.