 I've realized is that my passions don't bring me like happiness my passions are something that bring me that are that almost like something to do this was literally one of the most depressing videos I've ever seen so let's talk about happiness what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about trying to help you improve your mental and emotional well-being so if you're into that kind of stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because what I like to do is pull things from the YouTube community and kind of use what you're already watching to teach you about mental health so yeah Brandon Calvello or Calvia I still don't know how to say his name he just interviewed Elle Mills he's been doing a series where he interviews people in his cars actually really interesting my girlfriend got me turned on to him and I made a video the other day about his talk with Scotty and now he's talking with Elle Mills and yeah I kind of click baited you in here by making you think this video was out about Elle Mills but as I watched it I'm like we need to talk about this dude brand it all right and hey don't get mad at me about the click bait either because I dubs did it with his rice gum content cop video you all thought it was about Jake Paul this video is not about this obnoxious arrogant soul it's about an entirely different obnoxious arrogant soul some of you might be pleasantly surprised with who this video is actually about so yeah anyways like watching this video watching this video I'm just sitting there thinking I'm like man I could not hang out with this dude Brandon because he is a bummer and I just want to make it very clear this is not a knock at Brandon like if he was somebody in my life I would have to set up some boundaries or try to help him or both and if you want some more information about setting boundaries and why I say things like that go watch my last video about Shane Dawson and Katie Borden and their little therapy session but yeah anyways like Elle Mills had a very public mental breakdown and everybody talks to her about it like that's like one of the things she knows she's known for it something that I've known you know I learned about her from and that's what people always want to talk about in the interviewer but yeah through this conversation like Brandon actually did a lot of the talking and I'm seeing them like dude Brandon you got to change your perspective baby um so yeah like I will I will talk about one thing that Elle Mills said in this clip right here I don't know I've been like going into the gym like working out like you know doing eating healthy so yeah like I just want you guys to start thinking like just start thinking like I just find it interesting I find it really interesting whenever you ask somebody about how they're improving their mental health the first thing they say is I'm eating better and exercising like isn't that just interesting like we're talking about mental health but the first thing people say is physical health okay and yeah I know some of you out there like oh look this fat guy here is talking about physical health not making you happy stop it I'm on a weight loss journey thank you very much but anyways like don't you think that's interesting because something that is a theme throughout this video as well as with a lot of other youtuber videos is that they thought that being a youtuber would make them happy and I just want to plant this seed in your head like just know that losing weight and getting to the you know that perfect size may not make you happy either I just want people to know that or you're just chasing another thing that won't fill that void that you have inside and I just want you to think about that like I knew I knew for a fact that I had to find true happiness at this size well actually I was 50 pounds heavier last year I had to find happiness at that size in order for me to still have true happiness as I continue to lose weight yeah I might seem a little harsh in this video but I just want to explain to you like how people in your life like their perspective is messed up and you need to hang around people who have a better perspective okay because they are there to be the optimist for you I was actually just talking to somebody on Twitter I had some time while I was sending Zach the last video I was replying to him and they went from having this big issue and within like four tweets they're like they said I noticed that too it's a pride thing possibly we all have habits and behaviors we don't understand what is this feeling dot dot dot optimism comfort what have you done right and like I'm not telling you to keep me around but keep people like me around like I am here to offer a different perspective on things because I get it I've been depressed I've been in that nihilistic state you know I've been in the existential crises I've been in all those things but now I am an optimist you need to keep those types of people around I've realized that it work is not something that makes anybody happy I don't think work or passions make people happy I think that happiness thing like comes you kind of like don't realize it until you're in it and it only lasts for like a like a few minutes like really being very happy yeah last for like a few minutes and it's and it can be it's usually something not involving work or like structure usually just a random moment so right here Brandon like it's laughable Brandon says like nobody likes their job like what what do like your perspective is messed up if you think nobody likes their job like I'm letting all of you know that you know why cuz I love what I do I love what I do I get to work with people all day who are struggling with addiction and mental illness and I get to help them you know what I love it so much that I come home and I make all these videos that Zach has to edit that's how much I love it right but like what what I think I notice a lot about Brandon is that he surrounds himself with a lot of like not great people I'm not saying they're bad people but I think he's getting sucked into that that kind of pessimistic worldview because that's who he surrounds himself with surround yourself with people who love their job and you're going to see that other people love their job and I did I wasn't rapid thinking because I think everybody is always has terrible anxiety and is always thinking like terrible thoughts and like or not even terrible thoughts but just racing thoughts and they don't stop like you think a thousand thoughts a second this was one of the most interesting parts of the video one of the just most interesting parts of the video because I can relate so much like Brandon talks about how happiness is this fleeting thing it's this fleeting moment he talks about how everybody's mind races and nobody can actually have happiness for longer periods of time and I can relate to that like one of the problems with mental illness and when our mental health is not in a good place is that we think we think that this is normal for the rest of the world and I was living in that for a very very long time I was like nobody's happy everybody's miserable we're all just chasing the next dopamine hit but that's not the case that's not the case at all and here's my suggestion here's my suggestion for you if you think happiness is fleeting or if you can relate to Brandon or if you are Brandon you're just happy to stumble across this video happiness is not fleeting that moment that he talks about on the Santa Monica pier that happens all day long the problem is that we don't notice it okay those racing thoughts what Brandon is explaining in that moment is this thing I keep telling you all about called mindfulness okay Brandon needs to meditate you need to meditate when I started meditating three years ago what I was doing was training my brain to capture those moments more more often throughout the day but for other people like they're just getting a glimpse they're getting a glimpse at what so many of us so many of us who practice meditation get all the time and now some of you are gonna say Chris how do I start meditating I have an entire playlist about meditation I have a ton of videos about how to start meditating I also always tell you to just type in free meditation app on your phone and you'll find some so you can get started I've noticed that it's all the same like all the same very much depressed but secretly yeah very secretly not really putting and just constantly cracking jokes which is fine that's what people do in order to feel comfortable yeah I've noticed that it's this hidden like river of sadness in these people and everybody's there and everybody it's almost like everyone feels that but no one's saying anything about it this is another laughable quote like they're talking about how like you go to conventions and like they don't really talk about it but like everybody's depressed like what no they're not I'm a perfect example I was just at a YouTube convention called big summit and I was happy as hell not only was I happy as hell but I was hanging out with people who are happy as hell not everybody's depressed not everybody's depressed I made a video about getting to 20,000 subscribers and I said this quote and I will say it again if you want what I have then you got to do what I do that's how I started improving my mental health I found people who were genuinely happy despite any circumstances in their lives I found those people my what are you doing to achieve that happiness and I stuck to them I clung to them I followed them I walked in footsteps I'm like teach me everything okay so again I think Brandon is in a bubble where he's hanging out with people who just aren't truly happy to say something about somebody who's there because they don't want to like have beef with that person and then that person's gonna like fire back at them over Twitter because they found out high school yeah and yeah it's just a lot of really anti-social people trying to be social that's what I've yeah the yeah so real quick real quick real quick like it's not about how everybody's like walking on eggshells everybody's afraid to say something this person my tween and he might start beefing on a no no no no there's two rules there's two rules always be honest and don't be a dick okay if you do those two things you don't got to worry about what you're gonna say okay if you remember those two things always be honest and don't be a dick the second one's really important because something some people are honest too often and it makes them a dick you know what I mean it's weird it's strange like I I feel like I don't have any skills yeah I'm like even if I wanted to do something else yeah I have no fucking clue yeah because I haven't spent the last five years like I don't know crafting some sort of like skill like I can't like build things I can't like make a building I can't so this is crazy this is crazy and this is why you need more people with optimistic points of views in your life like so many people so many people I don't have any skills I don't have any trades you guys listen to the words coming out of my mouth I have a contracted job with a company that is paying me because of everything I've learned with this YouTube channel with my Instagram with my Facebook with my Twitter since I learned how to grow those on my own I am now doing work for somebody else so I have acquired skills through what I'm doing and now I can do it for someone else for money so Brandon if you don't like making YouTube videos help other people with their YouTube videos okay and if you're watching this all of you out there I want you to think about what other skills you have acquired okay whether it's organization skills something like Brandon I would say he has people skills that's important in customer service in sales so like do not get this narrow scope like I could sit down with anybody anybody and tell them the list of skills that they have I guess it means it seems like you're on the right path I'm working on it I think definitely it's good that I've made some progress yeah so I just think I think it's gonna be trial and error and just figuring it out and I feel like eventually I'm still young so eventually I'll hold you I'm 20 you're 20 yeah okay whole man yep well they just said right there so many people in their early 20s mid 20s whatever it is they have these like moments of what am I doing with my life that's what I was saying in the Marzia video right like so many people go through that hi I'm one of them but listen to the words coming out of my mouth are you ready I was a drug addict and alcoholic until I was 27 years old 27 years old Elle Mills is 20 Brandon is 24 if a guy like me can screw up his life and go back down to zero by the time he was 27 years old and now I have an amazing life today trust me it is not too late for you to figure out what you're gonna do that's why more people need to be watching and listening to Gary Vaynerchuk because he says this over and over and over again if you are in your 20s and you are watching this video you have so much time to figure things out just experiment find what you like to do go do it because if somebody like me like can screw up until they're 27 I didn't really get on my feet until I was 30 and things are going really great at 33 you can do it too especially because you're younger than me hotter than me and have more energy than me because what's they gonna do yeah what is all what is you feeling panic and feeling all this stuff unless you can't help it but if you're willingly thinking these things and and and you're going down a rabbit hole of more and more like darkness than just what is it doing yeah it's not it's not like you're gonna get to the bottom of this hole and there's gonna be like a passageway into like happiness yeah it's just you're you're you digging yourself and you just it's not there's no point to feeling that way right here I found this very interesting because right here you see Brandon and L kind of noticing their own thinking traps right they're noticing the patterns in their thinking and as Brandon's talking I'm sitting there I'm thinking I'm like you know what maybe Brandon even if he doesn't know this maybe Brandon isn't so much interviewing people for entertainment or for content but maybe maybe this is really therapeutic for Brandon some creators just by doing things like this it actually helps them process some things because a lot of the advice he was giving L Mills might have helped himself does that ever make you wonder if me making these videos helps me out more than it helps you hmm as I've gotten older I realized like there's not much when you have like these conversations there's not much that you can do to like actually give advice it's more just venting yeah it's more you're more knowing that you're not alone yeah that's it's nice so this last clip right here towards the end you know they were just talking about you know what I don't think we really solved anything but like it's good to know that you're not alone and that you can prevent yes yes yes yes why do you think I created the Facebook group and the community around that it's great to talk and know that we're not alone but you know what I figured out you know what I figured out a long time ago that only gets you so far finding people we can relate to and vent to only gets us so far that's why I always say we talk about the problem but focus on the solution because if we just sit there and just know that other people are miserable like we are then what we start doing is surrounding ourselves with miserable people you need to start surrounding yourself with people who help you get into the solution is what you need to do so surround yourself with people who can relate to your problems but they help push you towards the solution but anyways the topic the overall topic of this video was happiness so aside from all the meditation stuff I babbled about I'm gonna give you three book recommendations that I will link down in the description below okay the first one is the book called happiness advantage by an author by the name of Sean Aker he is a professor of positive psychology at I believe Hartford University his entire field of psychology is helping people find happiness okay so make sure you check out this book because there's a lot a lot if you're like a science nerd if you're into science and psychology you need to read this book he has scientific studies that can help you develop better happiness in your life this next one is one of my favorite books one of my favorite books and I wish every youtuber had to read this I wish everyone had to read this and this is the book called super rich by Russell Simmons those of you who don't know who Russell Simmons is he is the brother of run from run DMC Russell Simmons started Def Jam records and he is you know a big-time meditator he found meditation through yoga he does transcendental meditation I do mindfulness meditation but if you read super rich you are going to understand how things will not make you happy last but not least is this book meditation for fidgety skeptics this book is written by Dan Harris he is an anchor for I think good morning America he had a public panic attack like on national television if you go to YouTube and type in news anchor panic attack that's him he is the number one search one but anyways because of that panic attack because of that terrible thing in his life he found meditation and since then he wrote a book called 10% happier this is a sequel to that book where him and this guy Jeff I've forgotten his last name but he's an amazing guy they call him the MacGyver of meditation he helps teach you how to turn anything you're doing into a meditation right so I highly recommend you check out this book meditation for fidgety skeptics so remember remember pain is inevitable suffering is optional if you are suffering that is your choice I have provided resources down in the description below what you do with them is completely up to you alright let's do this down in the comments before you leave before you leave me down in the comments below let me know do you surround yourself with optimist or pessimists okay and if you want to go a step further what are you gonna do to fix that or change that like how do you think it's affecting your mental health all right let's have a conversation and support each other down in the comments below okay but anyways that's all I got with this video if you liked this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure to subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel of our patreon you're all amazing and I have a patreon q&a coming up very very soon so if you want to be a part of it make sure you click or tap right there on that patreon icon all right thanks so much for watching stay happy and I'll see you next time