 The Jack Benny program, presented by Lucky Strike. Lucky Strike and Lucky Strike alone offers you important evidence gathered in the tobacco country by the world-famous Crosley Pole. This evidence reveals the smoking preference of auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen, the men who really know tobacco. Here's what the Crosley Pole found. For their own personal smoking enjoyment, independent tobacco experts again name Lucky Strike First Choice. Lucky Strike First Choice over any other brand. These experts know their business, their overwhelming preference for Lucky Strike we believe has a direct relationship to the quality tobacco we purchase for Lucky's and to the real, deep-down smoking enjoyment you may expect from fine tobacco. And when these veteran tobacco experts name Lucky Strike First Choice, for their own personal smoking enjoyment, then you know. LSMFT, LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. And fine tobacco is what counts in a cigarette. So smoke the smoke tobacco experts smoke Lucky Strike, remember. Independent tobacco experts again name Lucky Strike First Choice. Lucky Strike First Choice over any other brand. From Palm Springs, California, the Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Davis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you the star of our show, toughened by the desert wind, tanned by the desert sun, and frightened by the desert prices, Jack Benny. Due to difficulties beyond our control, the American Tobacco Program, Jack Benny, is not coming through. As soon as service can be resumed with the national broadcasting company, we will bring you the Jack Benny show from Palm Springs. Pardon me, Don. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes? On behalf of the Chamber of Commerce, I want to take this opportunity to welcome you to this desert paradise. Well, thank you very much. By the way, I don't want to get personal, but how did you happen to lose your hair? I left the call for seven o'clock. But that Tomahawk still in his head. He looks like a sundial. He also looks like the last of the Schmohike. What was that you were asking me, Don? Well, I asked you about the motel you're stopping at. Where is it located? Oh, the Gitchigumi? Yeah. Well, here's how you get there, Don. You know the street right back here, the one that leads to Cathedral City. Oh, it's this side of Cathedral City? No, no, Don. You go through Cathedral City. And then you know how the road curves out and goes on to Indio, there. Indio? Why, you're not living way over in Indio, are you? No, Don. You go through Indio. Stay on Highway 66, and the only delay is when they stop you at the Arizona border. You know, for planned inspection. Oh, my goodness, Jack. You mean to tell me that while we're all in Palm Springs, you're living way out in Arizona? Sand is sand. I'm still on the desert. Don, I told... Well, look who's here. Hello, everybody. Hello, Mary. Jack, what are you doing in town? I came in with a safari. What am I doing in town? Why did you stay in Beverly Hills? That's closer to Palm Springs than when you're living now. I couldn't stay in Beverly Hills because I sublet my house. Oh, fine. He's here for five days, and he sublets his house. I may be here for 14 days. Who knows? You even look for a tenant when you go out to lunch. Now you're reaching, sister. Say, Mary, you look wonderful today, and that's yours, a novel dress you're wearing. Oh, do you like it, Don? I certainly do. What's it made of? $20 bills. $20 bills? What gave you that idea? I went into a store here to buy a dress, and it was cheaper to sew the money together. Everybody's got to make jokes about the high prices. By the way, Mary, where are you staying? At the racket club. You know, that's run by Charlie Ferrell. He used to be a big movie star. I know, I know. Gosh, Charles Ferrell. I'll never forget him in 7th Heaven. Neither will he. Anyway... Mary, since you're staying at the racket club, how about you and I playing some tennis, huh? Oh, I'd love to, Don, but it's been so windy lately. It sure has, especially yesterday. What are you laughing at, Mary? Jack and I were walking down the street, and it was so windy. I put my hair in a bandana, and Jack put his in his pocket. Put in his pocket, put in his pocket. Now, you stop with the jokes. I came to Palm Springs for rest and relaxation. You came to Palm Springs because you can't face Ronald Coleman since you lost his Oscar. Oh, by the way, Jack, have you done anything about it? Don, I don't know what I'm going to do about Ronnie's Oscar, but at least while I'm down here, I want to relax and try to forget about it. You know, it isn't my fault that everybody... Hello, Mr. Benny. Hello, everybody. Dennis, you came in here, Justin. Dennis, where'd you get that cowboy suit? It used to belong to the roughest, toughest Bronco Buster in the West. What'd you say? I say it used to belong to the roughest, toughest Bronco Buster in the West. Who's that? My mother. Your mother? Yeah, she used to sing bass with the sons of the pioneers. Oh, she gave you that cowboy suit, eh? Yeah, and I'm glad I've got it too, because I've been doing a lot of horseback riding. Well, Dennis, I didn't know you could ride a horse. Oh, sure. The only trouble is when the horse is running along, the spurs make him nervous. Well, Dennis, maybe you didn't fasten the straps tight enough when you put the spurs on your ankles. Oh, my ankles! Oh, by the way, Dennis, where are you staying? Oh, I'm living with Mr. Benny over the hills and far away. That's right. He's with me at the Gitchy Gumi Motel. It's nice there, isn't it, Dennis? I'll say, we saw a swell movie in Phoenix last night. We made it in no time. Jack, I know the Gitchy Gumi's in Arizona, but why go all the way to Phoenix to see a movie? We were going there anyway. That's where the washroom is. Dennis, Jack, isn't it lonesome living so far from everybody? No, no, we like to rough it. We've even got Indian bellboys. Yeah. Gosh, am I lucky. I told him to wake me up at 7 o'clock this morning and I didn't even feel it. Well, Dennis, you're the only guy I know who sleeps with his hat on. Now, how about singing your song? Okay. Oh, hold it. Come in. Telegram for Jack Benny. Well, I'll take it. Say, buddy, you've got a little more hair than the other fellow that was here, haven't you? Yeah, I left a call for 7.30. He looks like Phil's piano player, doesn't he, sir? Amazing. He can't read music, but he can read lines. Their drummer looks like he left a call for 4 o'clock. Who's the wire from? It's from Fred Allen. Fred Allen, what does he say? He says, dear Jack, just heard you're in Palm Springs. But when I told you to go to a warmer climate, that's not what I meant. We probably meant banning. Go ahead and sing, Dennis. Dennis, you were in very good form. This dry desert air is marvelous for your tonsils. I haven't got any tonsils. Oh, I didn't know that, you know. And now, ladies and gentlemen... I didn't take them out about three years ago. Oh, you did? Oh, I see. And now, ladies and gentlemen... You're not mad, are you? No, you can have your tonsils out if you want. Oh, I had mine sniffed, too. And by a wonderful doctor... Doctor? Nothing. Rochester took them out. He did not. I finally wound up going to the doctor. You know that. Well, you were considering Rochester. Oh, considering. I asked him if he knew how. That was all. This is amazing, Don. All I said to Dennis was, this desert air is wonderful for your tonsils. So look at the routine I got into. Dennis, go sit down. And Mr. Merrick, before we continue, I want to thank you for conducting the orchestra. You're welcome. And now, ladies and gentlemen... Jack, isn't Phil going to be on the show today? No, Mary. That's why Phil's musical arranger, Maylan Merrick, led the orchestra. And if I say so myself, he did a very good job. But Jack, why did he use such a long baton? You know, Mary, I thought it was peculiar, too. Oh, Mr. Merrick. Yes? When you conduct Phil Harris' boys, why do you use such a long stick? Well, in that way, I can lead the band and shoe the flies off of them at the same time. Oh, yes, the flies. But Mr. Merrick, why don't you do what Phil Harris does? You see, when he leads the band, he waves a horse's tail. On him, it looks good. Oh. He reads lines as well as the piano player. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as a tribute to Palm Springs for our feature attraction tonight, we are going to present an original mystery melodram entitled, Murder at the Racket Club. Or, he took his tennis racket to a psychiatrist because it was high strung. Now, I'll play the part... Oh, by the way, Jack, you come to Palm Springs quite often. Why don't you join the racket club? Well, Don, the only reason I haven't joined the racket club is because they don't take in actors. They don't take in actors? No. Don't tell me that all that hammer-on there is just for sandwiches. All right, all right. Now, look, kids, we have a very long play to do. Oh, John, nothing but interruption. Hello? This is a long-distance operator speaking. I have a call from Beverly Hills. I'll take it. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny. This is Rod Chester. Chester, why did you call? An election next Tuesday, April 13th. I know. Not just a polling place. A polling place? They're paying $12, but it seemed to have a... Rod Chester, that's a disgraceful, that's disgraceful, dickering with the city officials. Why'd I have done it for nothing? Operator, operator, I have the wrong party. Now, Rod Chester, will there be room in the garage for all those voting booths? Yeah, I lined the vintage washing machines along one wall and the voting booths along the other, and I already thought of a great slogan. What is it? Uh, cast your boat and lock your undies at the same time. How's everything at home? What's night when Mr. Harris came over and threw a party? You let Phil Harris throw a party in my house? Oh, it wasn't my fault. You see, I was cleaning the front windows with soil off when Mr. Harris and some of his friends dropped in. Uh-huh. I said, hello, gentlemen. They nodded, grabbed the bottle out of my hand and levity took place for me. First of all, that's all I drank the soil off. That's awful. Maybe so, but they've got the cleanest hangovers in town. I'll talk to Mr. Harris about it when I get home. Goodbye, Rochester. Goodbye. Oh, say, boss. Now what? There's a lot of activity over at Mr. Coleman's house, and I think he's going to sue you for losing his Oscar. Oh, my goodness. What makes you think he's going to sue me? Have you ever heard the law firm of Worthheimer, Donaldson, Fitzpatrick, Elroy, and MacArthur? Yes. Well, they're all here with MacArthur and he's flying in from Japan. Look, Rochester, see if you can install Mr. Coleman for a while and I'll try to think of something. Well, you better think fast, boss. Mr. Coleman's so mad he's putting slugs in your bendix. Oh, no. Oh, yes. He hit the jackpot and got Greg Gordon's knife down. Rochester, don't worry me now. I'll call you back later. Goodbye. Goodbye. Gee, I've just got to do something. Well, what's the matter, Jack? Ronald Coleman's really upset about my losing his Oscar. He might even sue me. Well, it's your own fault for borrowing it. I guess so. But, Mary, it's amazing how fate works. Rochester wanted to see an Oscar. I borrowed Ronald Coleman's. I got held up and lost the Oscar. And because of that, Greer Garson is going to be cold tonight. What are you talking about? Nothing, nothing. I'll tell you later. We got to get on with the show. All right, Don, introduce our play. Okay. The Racket Club. Mr. Merrick, that wasn't funny. A fly got in his trumpet. Oh, oh. Go ahead, Don. The scene opens at the Plom Springs police station. Captain O'Bennie is sitting at his desk tired on a sun helmet, tin badge, and shorts. Curtain music. I'm looking over an eight leaf clover that I overlooked before. Gosh, I'm glad I got these new bifocals. Yum-de-da-dum-dum-dum-de-da-dum. There's the phone, Chief. I'll get it, O'Day. Hello? Plom Springs police station and date shop. Captain O'Bennie speaking. Oh, it's you, Sergeant. What's that? You arrested two fellas. Well, let them loose. I know they're crooks, but this jail is for tourists. I'm getting $12 a cell, American plan. We can catch crooks during the summer. Goodbye. Morning, Chief. Morning, O'Wilson. How are things on your beat? Marvellous. I sold 40 pounds of dates. Good. Keep going like that. You'll soon be a lieutenant. Thank you, sir. Is that better than a big fat sergeant? Yes. O'Day, where are you going with those lace curtains? Oh, I thought I'd make cell 9 and 10 into a bridal suite. That's a good idea. Put a canopy over the bunk. You know, business... I'll take it. Hello? Plom Springs police station and date shop. Captain O'Bennie speaking. What's that? What? Murder at the racquet club. Gee, that's the title of our play. Quiet. Yes, we'll be right over. What's up, Chief? Towns and Trueheart. A well-known playboy has been murdered. Oh, Wilson, get the police car. Yes, sir. We'd better take along with the strong arms squad. Oh, Shanice, oh, Mallory. Oh, Flannery. You know what a pal was married. He gets mad if I don't use his full name. Are you ready, boys? Good. Now come on, fellas. And I am going to find the murder of Towns and Trueheart. Or my name ain't... What a cigarette. What a cigarette. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Take another puff. Round and firm and fully packed. Oh, Elizabeth Lee. Elizabeth Lee. All the men who know confessed that quality of product is essential to success. Woo! All right, all cars. Be on the lookout for newlyweds. Bridal suite now available at... I've got to mention the lace curtains, and I crocheted them myself. Step on the gas, Sarge. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Round and firm and fully packed. Oh, Elizabeth Lee. Elizabeth Lee. All the men who know confessed that quality of product is essential to success. Hey! Okay, boys. Here we are. Woo! I'm sure this is the right place. Certainly. See that sign there? Racket Club. Owned by Charlie Ferrell, star of 7th Heaven. Members only. Open up. Open up. It's the police. I'm the doorman. What can I do for you? I'm the chief of police. I want to get in here. Are you a member of the club? No, I'm here to investigate a murder. I want to see the body. But if you're not a member, you can't come in. What? I'll have to throw the body over the fence to you. What are you talking about? A man has been murdered on these premises, and I'm going to find out who done it. That's who did it. No wonder you're not a member of this club. But please, we got to get in here. You can't come in here wearing that sun suit. Take it off. But where'll I pin my badge? I'll let us in. Hey, but you'll have to speak to the owner, Charlie Ferrell, star of 7th Heaven. Here he comes now. Oh, hello, Mr. Ferrell. What's going on here anyway? Thank you. Thank you very much. Stop bowing. Now listen, Ferrell. I'm Captain O'Benney of the Palm Springs Police Department. Glad to know you. I'm Charlie Ferrell, star of 7th Heaven. I know. Now listen, Townsend Trueheart has been murdered on these premises, and I'm going to find out who done it. Who done it? I warned him. All right, did it, did it. Now come on, men. Follow me. Lucky strike means fine tobacco, round and firm and fully packed and easy on the draw. Hey! I'm Mr. Ferrell. I want the names of everybody that lives here. Why don't you look in the register? I think I will. Nothing! What is peculiar that Washington and Lincoln should both be staying here? Captain O'Benney, here's the guest register. Good, good. Read me the names of all the people who are living here. There's Clark Gable, Pat O'Brien, Robert Taylor, James Dunn. James who? James Dunn. James Dunn. That's dead. Today we've been warned. Now tell me, Mr. Ferrell, was Townsend Trueheart alone when he was murdered? No, there were several people with him. I see. Well, the first thing I'm going to do is grill the suspects. I'm sorry, the grill doesn't open until noon. What? I had that line, but I wouldn't touch it. Would you like a box of stuffed dates, sir? Not him, that's the body. Oh, shall I... Shall I give him his money back? Certainly. Wait a minute, let's see that wallet. I want to look for identification. Here's a card, property of Townsend Trueheart. In case of accident, please notify Charlie Ferrell, Star of Seventh Heaven. That's me! I know, I know! Everyone line up, I'm going to find out a few things around here. Who are you, Miss? Miss, I said who are you? Who am I? I happen to be Missy LaRue, the movie star. What's the matter, Mr. LaRue, have you got a cold? Yeah, I caught it in Naked City. Wait a minute, I saw Naked City, what were you? A bear midriff. Oh. From now on, I'm working in shorts. What? I had that line too, but the sensor took it away. Well, I'll get back to you later, Mr. LaRue. I'll just see who's in the next room. Come on, men, follow me. Elisemite, Elisemite, all the men in Seventh Heaven knew that Charlie Ferrell was essential to success. Hey! A suspicious looking character sitting over there in that chair. Hey, you, come over here. What's your name? My name is Paul Lucas. Paul Lucas, eh? What do you know about this murder? Nothing at all. I was just sitting here thinking how lucky I am to know Charles Ferrell, the star of Seventh Heaven. Just a second, you. How'd you get that continental accent? Oh, well, I wasn't born here, you see. I was born in Hungary in a little town called Novgorod, Germosnyk, except Bolachov. A likely story. Novgorod gets more in a sick Baltic shop. What does that mean in English? Du vaditi. Gee, they have one over there, too. Well, tell me, Mr. Lucas, what is your occupation? Oh, I'm a movie actor. Oh, you catch that cold in Naked City? No, I was watching April Shows in a bare midriff. Well, if you're having an alibi, hey, wait a minute. Aren't you the Paul Lucas who made Watch on the Rhine? Yeah, that's right. Oh, well, Paul, step in the other room a minute. I want to talk to you alone. Yes, Captain O'Benney. You can call me Jack. Yes, Jack. Look, Paul, didn't you once win an Academy Award Oscar? Yes, I did. It was in 1944, and the picture was Watch on the Rhine, which I made for Warner Brothers. Oh, yes, yes. They're still talking about it over there. Thank you. Now, look, Paul, I'll be honest with you. I'm in an awful jam, and you can help me out if you'll just lend me your Oscar for a couple of weeks. But why? Well, look, two weeks ago, I borrowed Ronald Coleman's Oscar and it was stolen from me. Now he wants it back. I tried everything. Last week, I even went over to Bing Crosby's house and tried to borrow his. Well, wouldn't Bing lend it to you? I don't know. They cut me off before the program was finished. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. They cut me off before the program was finished. Now come on, Paul. Help me out. Lend me your Oscar for just a little while. Now, Jack, please. Please don't ask me for my Oscar. It means the world to me. Everything. It's my good luck charm. Gee. Well, Paul, can't I at least see it? I'm sorry, but I lost it at the Cove. The Cove? Yeah, that's the place that made Palm Springs the naked city. Well, then you can't help me out. I'll see you later, Paul. Say, wait a minute, Jack. What's going on in the other room? We're doing a murder mystery. All right, man. Independent tobacco experts again named Lucky Strike First Choice. Lucky Strike First Choice over any other brand. Yes, sir. Say, I'm not a big deal. I'm not a big deal. I'm not a big deal. I'm not a big deal tonight. I'm American. The famous Crosley poll has just completed an impartial survey in 11 southern tobacco states. This poll taken among the tobacco experts themselves reveals the smoking preference of the men who really know tobacco. Yes? For their own personal smoking enjoyment, independent tobacco experts again named Lucky Strike First Choice. Lucky Strike First Choice over any other brand. These are the experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen. And we believe their overwhelming preference for Lucky Strike has a direct relationship to the quality tobacco we purchase for Lucky's. You've heard the poll results. 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