 See if I can get this started here Awesome y'all give me a second I y'all I'm on the Wi-Fi and in my van Forgive me in the Wi-Fi on in my band. So Lord willing everything goes, okay Wanted to do it on my computer so I can have it as members only And because I didn't get to shoot a video in the daytime. We'll be getting in more of these members only Chats when I don't get to shoot a video now. It can't be members only when I'm on my cell phone. I need to check and see if they updated that yet Now I think they did say you could do members only videos now from mem From your mobile. So that's gonna be a huge benefit because they used to have it to where when you shoot a video on your cell phone You've got to log in your computer to make it members only so some of the topics not a members only topics It's either gonna be members on YouTube or I might be on the patreon But when I have to speak on celebrity issues, I may put it on the patreon Sometimes it'll be on here and sometimes I could do both but Patreon is a little different So I can you know touch on some things That You know, I don't be wanting to I mean I need to teach a lesson from the things we see but I don't Always want to say names out of respect for the people who the lessons are coming from because they might not want to be the brunt of the lesson, but It is what it is So we're gonna Try to crank that up as I get some time Somebody use the hashtag queue in here that helped me out So when y'all have a question put that hashtag queue in there that does help me and Welcome to the To the new members God bless y'all Welcome to the new members Let me see here Really great guy. I'm talking to and has really great great qualities But I don't feel those butterflies But afraid of missing out on a good guy advice Well, I will tell you like this and I'm gonna be a lot more real with y'all these days and going forward Just because the stakes are getting higher I'm gonna tell you this If you're a good guy You better give yourself the butterflies and what you also have to realize about the butterflies is the butterflies It's not always a good thing because it's typically a Very strong spirit that give you the butterflies and So that spirit could be a seducing spirit That spirit could be a demonic spirit That spirit could be something That will really cost you and so I want you to realize and understand That you do not want to get caught up on Feelings What you want to get caught up on is knowledge Is is this man What I need This man what you need in a husband and a potential father of Your children or your dogs or y'all adopted kids Needs is a nephew's whatever it is. That's what you have to focus on because one of the things that I see is I noticed that a lot of times women end up Going directly Going to the man that give him the butterflies and It and the butterflies end up a stomach ache and the man end up making them throw up Then they go to the safe man To live out the rest of their days You'll be better off going to the safe man first So that the safe man don't have to be raising another man kids Now if you already been through that situation God bless you it is what it is. I ain't knocking you But think about this amazing stepfather Imagine if that woman could rewind the time and Give this amazing man her first children She probably would do it not literally Because she love her kids, but it's just a thought of like man Why didn't you go? Why did not go to this person first? Are there more single men without kids than single women? With kids I heard a man say this we don't know we don't know You gonna have to get out there and do a study Because these studies be lying and most black people don't even do surveys So we really don't know but what you can do just to get a consensus just to get to see the micro of it It just go out and look amongst all your friends and all your family and see How many single men you meet now when I think of a single man, I know The three that come right to mind. I know three single men that cut jump right to mine They don't have kids But also I know a bunch of Single women without kids too So We really don't know but I'm not even sure it really matter What would men think if I tell them I'm afraid of commitment? Well, you should not tell a man that you're afraid of commitment You take your fears to God and you turn your fear into faith You don't tell a man That's not your husband your weaknesses Because if you tell a man that you you're afraid of commitment for one You're gonna sound unhealed Jaded To you're gonna run off a good man who wants commitment Three you're going to attract a grown boy who does not want commitment. He wants friends with benefits So never tell a man that She'll God bless you God bless you Hey, I'm glad you're back. I'm glad you're back been talking to a guy for seven months and He has been consistent and his actions line up. He says he is dating me with intention But it's been seven months. Am I wasting my time? I also met his kids No, y'all dating, you know y'all dating dating with intention I Don't know how you'll be wasting your time unless you saying Unless you're waiting on him to say will you be my girlfriend? But if y'all already like a couple Then you're not wasting your time between months 12 and 18 That's when you really gonna find out if you wasting your time. I Texted him first yesterday. I only see him around town driving not in person No answer 24 hours later. Is there any chance he still might reply? What are your thoughts? Yeah, he might reply if he doesn't have a woman that's right up under them. He might reply and if but Hopefully everything okay with him, you know, it's been 24 hours. So first before you jump to conclusions You always pray that the person is okay That's first and foremost now when you find out he okay like you see him Out and about and he hasn't responded in them 24 hours. Now, you know, you got your little issue and it's typically one or two things one is He got another One is he's not interested Because having another woman don't really matter for a lot of guys So number one is he's not interested number two He has another woman my child who is four years old father lives in another state What's consistent on child support till last two months barely FaceTime sees her one time a year Him and his mom want to see her for a week without me present unsure That's a little interesting down that's a little interesting. I'ma tell you like this right here. Listen to your intuition Because for me, that's the thing I coached a lady who father was gone for a while And didn't have a relationship with him And then when she she met him years later He slept with her and got her pregnant and her first child is from her biological father Now she wrote a book about it. So I could share this even though I'm not even saying her name and about the book but she wrote a book about it and and that Confirmed what I know about men Is you have to realize with men In a lot of ways we don't have the same filters Until we are renewed a man don't have the same filters that A woman has a man doesn't have the same Thought process So me personally as a man I wouldn't trust a man with A Daughter especially if he don't have a relationship with them And if it's a son then Or you say see her but even if it's a son Because some men don't know how to raise a child and I struggled bad as a father I struggled bad just learning how to raise kids and so and my wife even struggled as a mom is as great as a mom is We still struggle with communication what we saying how we said, you know all that so When someone doesn't have a relationship because what you have to realize Is those of us and I'm gonna spend a little time on this because this is very important because we got to protect them Those right there the little one But those of us who live in the home With our seed Still can go off And hurt or damage our seed So imagine The hurt and the damage that could be done By someone who does not have a real relationship and connection So for me, it's an absolute no because if He won't his child so bad Then he ought to be FaceTiming every day He ought to be FaceTiming every day Even if it's five minutes. Hey, how you doing? How was your day to build a relationship? So That'll be the first thing if you want to see my child Who you ain't been consistent with Child four years old You see my child one time a year You barely FaceTime You gonna have to FaceTime every day For at least six months, but honestly I'm trying to scratch it for a year when I say every day I don't literally mean every single day, but to try every day so that at the most you probably missing one day In there before you get back on it or maybe two days if there's something real crazy going on But don't play don't play about that though And I know a lot of times people me and say all women been spiteful because I ain't paying child for I ain't doing this I ain't doing that man. Let's protect them protect them little ones Because if a man want to be in there, he need to be in there y'all for giving somebody popped in the uh, it's another question up here popped in the uh Super chat that y'all probably could see Husband of five years um Three after being out with his friends Did the two week rule, but I'm not sure I can ever trust him again Three months old so trying to hang in there open to suggestions Well with that right there you probably gonna need one-on-one coaching Because when it comes to marriage, it's a very delicate thing. And so I really don't like speaking too Loosely on marriage because that's a covenant Before God that's not like these dating relationships these co-parents and relationships you in a covenant And so just because you found something Don't mean something happened And the fact that you found them mean that That's at least that that it wasn't used And then two It's it ain't that easy today for guys to just approach women a lot of guys not even approaching women So and then Three it could have been one of his homeboys So the one of the worst thing we could do is assume That's one of the worst things we could do and And I'll be honest with nine and the other question is do y'all use them And did he have them from from y'all and took them with him? Just in case something got out of hand now what it does say Is he open to cheating that's what it does say So he need to be really talk to and really warm about this here But I will tell you in a marriage it's always going to be stuff that happen that make us Lose trust And we got to power through that and work through that until we have expressly A reason to leave can't just leave off speculation And you and you don't want to really live in Uh Terrible situation off of speculation and what's going on in your mind Long-distance military boyfriend Had a woman friend stay with him for a few days I knew in my spirit that it was wrong. He told me it's just plutonic Should I just leave the relationship? That's a tough one now now But see this is a boyfriend This is a boyfriend now I have Been in a relationship and stayed with another woman plutonically I have done that I have seen it done So it's not to say that it can't be true The other thing is The fact that he told you about it That don't mean nothing happened But the fact that he told you about it to me says he tried to be he trying to be honest with you Now he asking for a lot He asking for a lot and in that situation sometimes you got to put the mirror In a man face and say, okay Would you be okay? If a man Stayed with you Plutonically Sometimes you got to put a mirror In the person face so that they could see and hear how crazy it is what they're saying so But again You could be leaving off of speculation and You really don't want to do that Because I feel like if it was all the way wrong He could have just hit it He could have said he dropped his phone smashed his phone on accident dropped it It's in the shop getting fixed and took them took them few days Of being unreachable or just like texting on the on the computer or something or he could have went into the room and been talking to you and You never know that she was there so It just depends on the question is When she stayed was he still talking to you every day? And was he talking to you in front of her? And that still don't mean they weren't sleeping together now. That still don't mean that But that's something to think about My mom ran into my ex and he gave her his number to keep in touch And told her he still loves me. Am I wrong to tell my mom to block his number? Why would he do that? Just to become a mess up your life. He's just trying to trip you up Trying to tighten that soul tie But you're not wrong to tell your mom the block his number. She should block his number Christina, I can't even remember you Oh, maybe about the good guy. It's good if you don't have experience with women. That's what you want Don't know Welcome to the new members A coworker always screaming at staff I had to put the person in check spiritual warfare You did the right thing Did the right thing Hello, mr. Tony. Do you think a husband and wife can live in different houses because that's what I want if I get married Since you might well stay single You might well stay single you don't want no marriage Yeah, you do not want marriage. So since you might well stay single till you have a change of heart You need to you need to do some coaching says in here That because that's how like that comes from trauma Need to heal says Need to heal Also, Michelle, we glad to have your god bless you What a man that has been on yeah, stop for the right woman. I honestly cannot say I honestly cannot say because I have never smoked weed. So I do not know how strong it is I can't really see it I can't really see it I can't really see it happening It's hard for a man to give up any form of addiction It's hard. So I really don't know Oh, somebody sent me a cash out. God bless you now Somebody sent me a cash out because they say they didn't want you two to take 30% of it from me God bless you now God bless you Look at them. Look at that. God God bless you So say no, anything to let you two get the corn from you God bless you So yeah, that's a that's a tough one now. That's a tough one Nor a god bless you ask the god bless you now Been dating a man exclusively for a month He's consistent with spending time together like two to three times a week However, he hardly communicates with me via phone text when we are not together Sound like you're in a relationship Sound like you're in a relationship And the thing about it is is that now y'all be perplexed by this Y'all be See if you sound like you perplexed But it's only been a month now. This is what you got to understand right now. So what you got to understand They want them they want to paint to you. This is what I want to paint to you I'm in a relationship, right? Okay. I'm in a relationship Right now My wife is doing Lord knows what she whip our youngest son So that's one thing. Let me know. She can't do too much. She whip our youngest son But right now while i'm on here talking I could be with another woman right now My son practice from seven thirty to nine So I could drop him off Swain by another woman's house and be with that other woman for our hour and 15 minutes I also can have that woman pull up here And get in the van and sit in here and chop it up with her My wife would not know So that's what I want y'all to understand is When a man ain't with you You don't know what he's doing When a woman ain't with you, you don't know what she's doing Cheating is not hard cheating is not hard But when you get into know a man And he like you and he really about you He gonna be on that phone with you all the time all the time But when a man only is really talking to you when he see you That means he's in a relationship where the woman is complacent Like she trusts him She trusts him. They done been together for a while And he got that kind of free reign Somebody else sent me a Cash out. God bless you now. God bless you God bless you now I'm going there and hit that Oh, you know what I did wrong Encouragement on spiritual warfare. I know you speak on it all the time just needed things Guess what that means system If you are going through spiritual warfare and I'm going through it with you, you know what that means That means we going toward something that's going to be great That's going to be amazing That means that that spiritual warfare is to block our next level That's all that spiritual warfare is but with spiritual warfare It ain't never a test that you can't be that you can't pass Whatever there is temptation and temptation don't just mean lust and all of that temptation mean Spiritual warfare whenever there is temptation there is a way of escape So what you got to know and realize is that when you pass this test You fit seem to You finna be You finna be amazing when you pass this test here You finna go into a season That season finna be so blessed You hear me That season finna be so blessed that season finna be so amazing Ken you're gonna need your uh, you're gonna need your one-on-one now You're spraying these together. Did they put that now just for them little short questions now you need your one-on-one One-on-one session One-on-one session is closed to the public right now It's available to the members of the growth club So y'all have to get in the growth club Get your one-on-one session After being out with his friends did a two week rule And now you put this in here And then say three I'm thinking you finna add on to the question Misha god bless you Do you think you will ever approve online dating? I do approve online dating in certain situation When I talk to a client And it's a unique situation That's an exception to the rule but Typically it's only clients old 50 or clients who live in poll dark cities I feel that online dating is going to be the new way of people dating Even Simone Biles met her now husband on a dating app Now I feel like Simone Biles husband is a celebrity I thought his husband was an NFL player So I know what kind of dating app they've met on And that might be a lie. They might have got match make They might have had a celebrity matchmaker and don't want to tell nobody And call in a dating app But you really believe that you think Simone Biles The Simone Biles finna be on a dating app I don't believe that I think even people be saying telling that lie Because of how they really met they don't want to say But I don't even believe that in the least A celebrity That's all kind of it's a it's a million people on the dating app So you get on there as a celebrity everybody finna be in your DMs Connecting with you and everybody finna be on there And but it probably was on there to slay What are the problems on there meet slang it and then got that's a celebrity. He's like, oh Open it Simone Biles Yes But listen It's the out them dating out The out them dating out Oh, this was the message I answered. I just not getting down to it So let's see got talk to you got talk to you too about that now. I don't handle none of the programming None of that you might have to maybe turn off the notification did turn them back on And you may have to um May have to unsubscribe their subscriber something. I'm not sure but Honestly when we really think about it That's a lot of bandwidth for even for youtube So they say they send notifications, but that just would not really add up because emails cost money to send So I'm not the only one going live. So if they have a million creators going live And everybody got a hundred thousand people in in their notifications That's a lot of data that got to go out. So honestly, I think that the notification bell is cute But I don't think it actually really works for a hundred percent other people who have it turned on I think they probably got a percentage of people that they send it out to Because it just logistically it will cost them a fortune because that that email that cost money I got a mailing list and I had for that mailing list to have them emails on that list caused me Now the 400 all the month When y'all go into tonic gas academy and then y'all get them emails from me That melody called me nearly 400 all the month And i'm just talking to you know A few thousand youtube they got to talk to millions Men in the dm How do you say you're not interested leading with a pure heart? They're either too young or someone's grandpa. I'm not interested in either. Don't answer Don't need to waste your breath. You don't have to answer. You don't have to answer everybody that reach out to you You ain't got to answer because when they in the dm it going to the part where It's a request. So unless you hit approve. They don't even know that you've seen it So don't even answer And you might be talking to a bot anyways I know i'm not the only beautiful woman he sees but I don't know how to address it when I catch my boyfriend looking staring at women Normally I brush it off This right here sister this right here Is This right here is the topic It would be the biggest topic and and and it just it it just It made me wonder like lord Why did you make women like this to care about this? If you made men like this to want to look I'm like that puts us at odds Because I'm gonna tell you as a man and I'm gonna help y'all ladies understand this and y'all is not gonna like this But I'm gonna tell you as a man Who is 100 faithful to my wife? It is almost Impossible not to look at a beautiful woman Now the other coaches They might not admit to that And I stay in a constant Spiritual battle to work on that right there Because listen to me When you see that set of hands But this is the thing It's different things that human like so as a woman Your man is not the only handsome man you see So you can't get so caught up in him looking at a woman If you know if you saw a handsome man, you will be looking at that handsome man Because sometimes I'm walking a lot of times I see women looking at me with a man And I'll just be scanning the room And I look at every single human being because I'm always watching my surroundings I'm always aware of my surroundings. I'm looking everywhere. That's how I find necklaces and diamonds and money Because I'm always aware of my surroundings. That's how I see stuff people don't see. I'm driving down the road It's upon way off the side of the road I see a baby alligator up on up on the land because I be looking that hard I also have 2015 vision, which is perfect vision but listen I'ma tell you the one thing that you could do When your man look at a woman You could tell him Don't do that. But all that's going to do is make him hide it That is not going to pierce his heart. That is not going to change his nature I honestly believe as a man the best way to handle that Is to ignore it to act like you don't even see it because what it's going to do to us as a man Is this going to say to us? Wow My woman is so secure and so confident That she ain't even fazed by no other woman She really her and she knows she her And to be honest with you when a woman is like that That make us want to sniff her booty What I mean is like like I'm saying that as a metaphor how the dogs be walking up on other dogs and sniffing a booty hole Now why do dogs do that? Lord, you know made some creatures I'm like, why is this dog sniffing this booty? I'm like But that's how we are as men when our woman is confident And she ain't word by no other woman it make us More into that woman What I have learned in both ways When a man is controlling when a woman is controlling when a man is insecure when a woman is insecure It actually pushes they partner away It actually pushed your partner away So what you got to realize is Women Look at beautiful women Women look at handsome men So humans look at attractive humans Do you know they did a study They did a study That they took a baby And they put that baby in front of someone that is attractive And someone that is unattractive And the baby stared at the attractive person 80 percent of the time So a lot of times we actually say that we I'll be teaching that the attractiveness is based on the media and all of that But that wouldn't be true for that test with that baby So I think in our relationships and I don't trip up over this too I done been in the mall me and my wife in the mall and I see this tall guy walking And I know women like me over six feet And I see this guy tall and he dressed nice and he looked like money. I'm over here Am I wife beside me? I'm I'm watching the whole way And then she'll Might take a little look And just look over at the guy I what you looking at I see what you were looking at I see what you were looking at you looking at that man. I wasn't looking at him. What did you even talk about? I didn't even see nothing And then my wife she'll do that to me This old set of hands And pour them hands there Cardo swinging And I'm gonna lock in Whoa I'm not trying to And my wife She used to say something back in the day Then she came to a point where she stopped saying something And then the lord convicted my spirit Tony you got to do better And then I started when I started coming to coach I started hearing women ask that question And I'm like man. So that really bothered y'all Like we can't talk to this woman. We can't walk up. It's like It's like I'm thinking as a man. I'm like you better be glad you right here with me And I can't put no So I feel like as couples We got to get to the place to where we get over the minute things We get over that little stuff Francina God bless you now And we get to the real issues Because I'm beyond with you That right there if you tripping over that It's gonna be a long road And one thing I'm gonna tell you all about me and just because a man Look at a woman Don't mean he'll cheat or cheat with him The same goes for women just because a woman look at a handsome man. Don't mean she'll cheat with him or sleep with him So you have to get to the point to where you picking Your battles wisely And you not turning molehills in the mountains Because I know as a man who don't get drunk who don't smoke Who don't curse who don't watch porn who don't What's the other thing gamble Who I know for me as a man who live a straight and narrow life I struggle with that I have to put my neck in one of them braces And put me some blue blockers on Where I can't see And our and but that is something that perplexes women that perplexes women Because I've been one lady when I told him my homeboy who he married He was like, bro, you wasting your time man. That is so stupid. You could look and not touch man I say, brother Bob said you lust on a woman in your heart. You know, I already committed a daughter Man Lord know my heart Man, I ain't finna stress myself like that. I'm gonna get me a little look in And guess what he never cheated on his wife And I don't think he ever will and me and him be by myself And he could probably he could go shoot this shot. He could go try something but he faithful So I want women to understand That you have to become secure enough to where you understand that a man looking at a woman It literally means nothing Because one thing you're gonna one thing you're gonna know is that the same way we look at a beautiful woman Is the same way we're gonna look at an unattractive woman And we asking God we saying the same thing Oh Lord We lit we the same way we look at a beautiful woman the same way we look at an unattractive woman and we saying the same thing Oh Lord Oh Look Lord what you did right there We did the same thing so I want you to understand that 10 or so guys at my gym have asked me for my number I am flattered by the ask and love that men are actually approaching women But I am not interested in any of these guys. How do I reject kindly? You got to say you're married today. You got to say you're married Because if you say no, thank you. I'm not interested or you say no, um, no, I don't give up my number You in a public place, so you should be good, but you don't know if one of them crazy and gonna follow you out So what you need to do is when you say you married or you say you got a boyfriend You're taken unless that man know you have coverage And you have representation So that if he get out of pocket He gonna get flat line So because of what's happening out here with default Then That's why I recommend saying that Versus just saying I'm not interested because women are losing their life From rejecting men And you just never know what man is that man? That's Cuckoo for cocoa puffs so I recommend saying Unfortunately, I'm taking but no not unfortunately not I'm sorry, but I'm taking Oh, okay. Well, where's he at? Why does he work out here? He works different hours. So he trains at home Oh, okay. Okay, but you may see him sometime Oh, okay. All right What's up studs you must be enough with them ham swinging 10 different men that came and asked you you and You and You and now with that camera on you doing them squats I have never heard from a woman that 10 different men in her gym and tried all at them Never so that let me know you ain't no you a billion now I already know what kind of woman you are You sound like one of them South Beach South Beach babes they call them You around here with that body ary ary And 10 different men and now one of them ain't good enough for you. You waiting on a beer. You now Come on now. You better wake up and smell the poachers in the morning I'm an RN in North Carolina. He's in Kansas City No, Kansas Getting his phd in bio engineering He's consistent with his actions shows me. I'm a priority in his life Dating a year. How long should I wait to expect him to propose? Him it might take two or three years Because he focused on his career And he's also A little different So he's not really a ladies man like that Because he in bio engineering And the bio engineering phd is not really A ladies man the two don't go together He could appreciate love and respect the woman but When when you a ladies man and you buy women You don't have to focus to do bio engineering You're doing Communications And and you know other type of degrees criminal justice political science No disrespect to y'all who in those majors, but you're doing a major that's doable and manageable You ain't trying to do no bio nothing So him he focused on And what i'ma tell you is Don't get complacent You are in you need to try to become a np or pa You need to keep climbing because when he out there getting that phd in bio engineering He's not gonna want to see no complacent woman Because rn that's a step on the ladder, but it's higher to go. So keep on going Don't get complacent if you got more in you and you capable of more keep pursuing more because He ain't gonna want nobody on his cocktail now When he when he moved into a he in a whole another state In love with a man who has serious trust issues constantly talk about his past And how he's been let down swears. I would have overlooked him in high school and avoid getting close to me man and you in love um Well sister, let me look at you with my good eye because i'm trying to see What you got going on that make him think you would overlook them I'm wondering is he oval is he got a little weight on him or Is he under five? eight That's what it got me wondering why he acting like that You know, is he is he is it something else about him that got him insecure? but That's a real thing and it goes both ways and what it takes is communication It just take communication You got to say it and you got to mean it you got to be able to say hey listen I'm about you and If there is no trust there is no relationship So at some point you're gonna have to trust me And I got to also trust you So as big as the risk you taking i'm taking just as big of a risk So you got to sit down and really talk sense to him and really you know give him the game Give him the game You've been consistent with him for years, but he still has insecurity Should I leave and let him heal or stay consistent with him even though i'm not being loved the way i'm put Now if it's been years, it's time to go If it's been years, it's time to go now It's time to go No playboy got to go I'm got to go Been good knowing your mobile, but I got to go So you got to let him know like listen Listen, I don't think this is gonna work. You got to tell him like listen. I don't think this is gonna work Because if you can't trust me We don't have anything And if you're gonna treat me like you don't trust me Then we have nothing So I'm not sure this is for us And you got to go and present it to him and see what he says about that and see if that wake him up Also him not trusting could be a guilty conscience. He could be cheating on you. You might need to You know do a little digging because that's that's honestly probable cause in the court of love When somebody don't trust you for no reason And it's been years that don't make no sense So to me it sound like he can't trust himself How can I change my success with men? I'm becoming discouraged and frustrated. I'm 26 old school Never had relations dated once but desired marriage. No success approaching or getting approach sister I'ma tell you now. You're gonna have to do a makeover You're gonna have to do a makeover Because you talk because see men are visual creatures. You heard the lady complaining about her man looking at other women Men are visual creatures Now the way you describe yourself uh-uh Do your makeover now Because you have to have your packaging right in order to be approached So you're gonna have to put that money up And you're gonna have to hire an image consultant That's gonna help you with that hair Gonna help you with that skin Gonna help you with them teeth Gonna help you with that body Gonna help you with them clothes And i'ma be honest with y'all. I'ma be honest with y'all Nine out of ten women that is single It's because of their packaging It's because of their presentation Nine out of ten women that single is their presentation The man see you and he is not impressed And As a man, it don't take a lot Because we don't have to put on lace fronts and wigs and makeup and girdles and spanks and skins And All of that So as a man, it's almost like what you see is what you get So that's why you see so many regular looking men With a beautiful woman because the standards is different when it comes to physical looks But the thing about it is men are visual creatures and that's not going to change That's not going to change. That's the way God made it. So you have to make sure That your packaging The way you're presenting yourself is right Is it okay for a woman to always make the effort to see the man in a long distance relationship? He's always broke or something comes up when it's his time to visit. Does it mean he doesn't care That's what it means. It means he doesn't care Because a man who is about you He finna move mountains to get to see you And a man who is about you. He don't want you spending your money to come see him And I really would find it hard to believe that he's not looking for another woman in his city And that's what he's spending his money on local dates I find it hard to believe he ain't doing that because as a man I know men When we bought a woman We finna make moves you hit me like if if a man is in a long distance relationship He finna go see that woman if he won't hurt and he about hurt And he finna be trying to move to her or move her to him He ain't trying to stay long this and for long When a man want a woman he finna be begging you to move If that's possible unless one of y'all deployed or something other than that If he got to borrow from his mama he gonna borrow from his mama his home boy He's not finna be broke and I see this is one of them situations where He broke in character And he broke in finances So you got to lose lose situation Because a broke man In character, I remember one time I had a rough patch with my wife And we was on rough tough times We needed a getaway I ain't had a money I hit my home boy and say listen I'm bout to rum a wife off man I need to take out of town. We need a getaway. We need a reset. I say man. Let me hold. Let me hold five stikes He pilt it right off to me There you go Hey Go say your marriage boy Just like that right now. That's what a man gonna do When when he bought a woman he gonna make it happen He even had you coming out there to see him All the time and at the at the most he gonna say let's alternate I calling you you calling me I calling you you calling me And then when you coming He trying to pay for it or help pay for it at the least Um beneath the god blessing now god blessing new member. Uh, oh no super sticker god bless new member Sister rilani god blessing God bless her How to address issue. Okay, let's just put that question in again Now i'ma get the y'all question now y'all ain't got to post y'all question too many times now They demand for almost two years. He's consistent and thoughtful But I want to break up every other day because of no chemistry or romance But we talk every day. I'm a christian. He's a muslim should I go? Yeah, go on about your business Go on about your business. I'ma tell you like this right here A woman is made for love A woman is made for love So as a woman Well as a woman. Oh xo xo say thank you toner I think I get approached so much at the gym because I am slim and shapely I dress cute leggings and crop top and I lift weight so I'm around the guys in the weight room Okay, I see I see you old Uh, yeah, I see what y'all over there doing I'll see what you over there doing Uh-huh. What is that picture of those system? You know, I need to update that picture. I can't tell what that is What's in the world with that picture now because I'm gonna tell you so you need to update that picture because that looked like The inside or something it looked like the inside of a body cavity What is the world is that a inside of a cave? So, you need to update that picture now. I'm over here looking. I'm trying to wonder what I'm looking at um Yeah, okay, man over there shooting a shot Why do we take men A man years to marry a woman like 10 years and eventually marry the woman That's not really that common It's typically by men who weren't raised with a father in the home And You know men who come from poverty men who come from trauma and brokenness So it's not really a super common thing like if a man have a decent upbringing He pretty much After the age of 25 if he's dating a woman that he loves and he sees her as a wife He typically gonna get married within three years So the 10th weight making the woman wait 10 years That's more of an exception to a rule and it's just kind of the guy you're dealing with It's not really of course. It's other men, but it's not the majority at all What can we do as women for me to feel? Safe with us For men to feel safe with us um for one You only want a man to feel like really safe with you when it's like your fiance or your husband And one of the things you could do is be very transparent so You should be able to leave your phone face up You should be able to leave your computer open and unlocked You should be able to he should have your phone passcode. He should have your computer password Like that's the only way a man is gonna feel safe when it's an open book when it's complete transparency And that type of man who wants that and requires that will do the same things If he doesn't then you gotta you gotta issue gotta issue Gotta issue Those on the man asked me to date exclusive before being boyfriend girlfriend seems like a setup As I do not see the difference Um, well, he just saying date. He's saying like let's lock in on each other Get out of period of time to see if we are fit and then we become an idol So I wouldn't think too much of it. It just depends on the timeline Like when you date exclusively you put a timeline on it in your mind You don't have to tell him the timeline typically that timeline gonna be between three and six months Before he asks you to be his woman I met a guy we dated for three months. Then he went to prison. We've been speaking somewhat consistently We speak about the bible prayer and speak of the future. Is this something worth pursuing? It depends on what he went to prison for So you got to look at that crime that he imprisoned for And then look at what that says about him And that'll tell you whether it's worth waiting If he took a life, it's not it's not worth dealing with If he got caught up scamming Doing some fraud He most likely is a cheater Well, he a cheater in more than one more than one way. He most likely is a cheater I'ma tell you like this right here 99.9 of criminals are cheaters Because love Is a moral act To be faithful requires morals So if a man will do things that will land him behind bars It is next to impossible for him to be faithful So because it is way way way way easier For a man To cheat on a woman Then it is for us to do something that will put us behind bars If we will do something that will put us behind bars, we'll cheat on a woman like this Now do not tell him I told you that because Because he behind closed doors behind them bars. Let me let me know he also Will try to put hands on me And I'm gonna have to sell him to meet the Lord Point blank period So don't mention my name If you want him to stay around Ask my boyfriend What keeps him from cheating his response because it's the right thing to do What do he mean? That he believes cheating is wrong and that he believes cheating is immoral and that he Wants to be a good person with morals The growth club is worth the investment if you haven't joined What you waiting for y'all heard nick it now y'all see that ain't my name now because you got the membership everything Y'all probably think that's that's my backup account. No, nick it mars didn't told y'all We just had us a good call Not long ago Sabrina welcome Welcome, welcome When you're working with people who may be going through their own spiritual warfare, but in the mean Through undercut jabs at you because you are light in the space. What do you do? Just duck them Just duck and slip the job You definitely should not quit the job because that means the devil The one that mean you lost to the spiritual warfare You got the dumb you got the The bible say when you nice to that type of person it's like heaping hot coals on their head So understand that Continue with a man who lives one state away And says he wants to get with me. He calls about one time a week. No cut them off So read all I need to read cut them off cut them off rat nine Rat nine If you want to talk to them again, just have one more closer conversation letting them know that that inconsistency Is is enough for you and this ain't gonna work. God bless you wish you the best They met on rail with the high end dating out Y'all stay off that rail now Y'all stay off that rail that must be high end because I ain't never heard Uh I ain't never heard. I might ask my wife. Can I get a look just a look around just Ask my wife. Hey, we just for research purposes. Can I get over here rail and we'll get on there together You got my passcode and everything. Let that look right here. See what celebrities on there Because I'm finna get in a deal you ought to be shame on yourself I'm being a deal you ought to be shame on yourself On this raggedy behind out When you could just walk outside and meet somebody It was that man that thing must cost They must cost some money See somebody say, uh, he's an NFL player that was on the out Y'all don't believe that. I think no No, I don't believe that was on the out. I believe that out. I believe that out cut them a million dollar check Let's say they met on them. I believe that I believe that that they promote that out for that She I don't believe they was on the out They could have been though. They could have been because people do weird stuff Me personally I'm not getting on the out to meet nobody That right there is just kind of weird to me Y'all need to stay off them dating apps. That is weird. I'm gonna tell you it's weird. It just It just it make you look like a cyber nerd You look like a cyber nerd and it's all and it just also looks kind of psycho Because you got to think about this Who'd like to be behind a computer screen or a phone screen to meet somebody? You know who'd like to be that the anti-social men Who'll be shooting up schools? That is who dating apps is made for anti-social men And anti-social men It's dangerous Because you you mess around and Do them the wrong way listen It's been to get ugly fast been to get ugly and it might take 10 years They now will create it for Anti-social men I'm gonna tell y'all dating apps was created to play on the desperation of women and anti-social men they trying to take Two heads or the same monster And bring y'all together And it's all about money because let me tell you one thing That these that the world at large does not care about They do not care about happy relationships They do not care about happy relationships Because if the world cared about happy relationships our reality tv programming would be better It would be different our movies would be better We will still have family oriented shows that is mass promoted Remember we have family matters And they counsel that They only have family matters just because they were trying to get black folks something like Man, let me let's just try to make up for slavery. Let me try to help y'all get Some type of example of what we want y'all to do and be out here now But then we started doing too good We started doing too good. We like whoa They was like, whoa, we got to cancel their family matters man. They passing us now They passing us they doing better than us family matter counsel Painting with mr. Cooper council One-on-one counsel I'm a bill copy copy show counsel Copy was out here tired of painting that nearer of himself Out of nowhere, I started thinking about a past soul time Situationship then he followed me on instagram. Do you think this means anything just curious? Whoo, that's scary ain't it that's how the mind worked though It's out of mind work though No, that's that's scary though Out of mind work That happened a lot where I be thinking about somebody and they'll text me not no soul type I might be thinking about one of my homeboys and the next day he texts me tea. What's going on? It's crazy But the mind worked like that because god didn't invent cell phones It self on wasn't an invention of god like god could have created anything he wanted to do technology is not a god That's because of greed of man technology comes from the ego and the greed of man So our minds so connected to where when you really think on somebody They go to thinking on you And people teach on that tiny, you know, they put little terms on the metaphysics or stuff like that and all that When you working with people who may be going through okay, let's put her question in there again Now y'all stop posting y'all question all the time Hey, Tony wonder how do men read our character? How can they tell? Don't worry about that Just worry about your character If you worry about your character, you ain't got to worry about nothing else Do you steal? Do you lie? Do you cheat? And whatever it is it don't mean we're gonna be perfect don't mean Don't mean it's gonna be perfect, but you got to understand that If I remember correctly you once said that who a man follows on social media matters And if he says it's no big deal When we address it, it's a red flag. Do you steal it here to that belief today? Yes, it does matter So like the women I follow they my clients I follow my clients I follow celebrities and people like that who follow me And could be a potential client So every follow unless it's something for entertainment, which that wouldn't be a woman it would be intentional so if a man following a woman is typically He either knows her personally or he wants to get to know her personally And he want to or he want to be able to see what she posts when she posted and all of that Also that follow is almost like Doing a little pebble at somebody window Because we know that we get shown new followers So it's kind of a man's way To walk in front of a lady. It's almost like if you're in person it would look like walking in front of That's that's what that is And then sometimes it could be something he'll want you to know because that woman could be an ex-girlfriend Ex-flean and he don't want you to know that he's following someone he didn't have relations with met someone who seems legit highly compatible Long distance spoke over 30 hours in person Oh, you mean over time. I'm hoping y'all ain't do no 30 straight now out of practice dating Do I tell him or ask him to be direct when I have question or need clarity? Um, tell him to be direct Ask him ask him to be direct Man love to be direct So say Andrea She said it's one thing to look but staring is On another level disrespectful tone. It is disrespectful. It is disrespectful, but It's kind of the same. It's not it's not really two different things to look into stare because if a man If a man don't stare he didn't look It that that mean he didn't see you if a man see a woman Then he either gonna stare Or he is choosing not to stare So to look in the stair is the same thing to see And to stare is different So that's what you meant right now And now we see somebody now But see the thing about it is Is as men This is something that women will never understand and i'm i'm urging y'all to stop wrecking your brain to do it Because y'all try to relate it to yourself and we are nowhere near the same Men and women this is something that women will never understand. I'm gonna tell you why you won't understand The man put that in god put that in a man Because if a man was not extremely attracted to women Humans would cease to exist Because i'm gonna tell you what to a man i'm gonna tell you what feel better Than sex a lot of times What feel better than sex? For a lot of men is making money What feel better than sex for a lot of men is Winning winning in the casino Winning in a in a bet about it might be a bet about It might be a bet About um, let's see if that's my son. Yeah, it might be a bet about a game So what y'all have to understand is that You almost You almost got to understand this right here if that man Did not If he could eat so easily turn off looking at another woman looking at a woman That that mean he also could easily turn off loving you wanting you desiring you And so the lot of things what's gonna happen is a man might look at that woman and then Y'all go home. That's your husband. He he got taken out on you And as crazy as that sound That right there that will hurt you All your life if you get caught up on that Because what you give attention to It's gonna make them want to do it more. It's just like when you raising a son What you although it make them want to sneak more But when you had a confidence To say, you know what I'm feeling to be and do me I'm feeling to look good. That's what pulled us back into our woman That make us come back to our woman to say wow I'm crazy because I got this woman who is so confident So loving so supporting I'm a fool to be looking at another woman And lusting with or without her So There are men who can beat it It's men who could beat it I have not met him I saw it with my father, but other than that That was it Other than that, that was it because Every man every man Going to struggle with that Um, they don't say I much rather than hide it And that's the thing if a man can hide it He will but and I'm beyond with you the reason why I like talking about I like talking about this so much Because this is one of the perplexities Of men That is this one of the things that we furthest apart on as men and women But I will tell you as a man Is that that looking don't mean nothing Because when we look at a woman We'll look at that woman But what we also do After we don't look at that woman for a couple seconds We we start picturing the things that we know women go through And then that take any attraction right out of it Because it's like listen, I don't have to get used to this and learn this about one woman I do not want to see no another woman And all the everything that come with a woman So I'm gonna tell y'all they're looking it really does not mean anything and this was so perplexing Is that women will say and agree That men can have casual at casual But then make a huge deal about a man looking at a woman So women will say Set for a man and not the same as set for a woman and a man could just sleep with a woman not have feelings and a man Could just do this with a woman and not have feelings But then turn around and make a big deal about a man looking at a woman So if y'all believe that a man could sleep with a woman And it don't really mean a whole lot to him And that's the story that y'all tell yourself To stay with a man when you don't want to leave after he done cheated Because you don't want to uproot your kids. You don't want to change your lifestyle You don't want to have to go through all what the haters got to say and everybody I told you so So you make a decision to stay in the relationship and you tell yourself It didn't mean nothing. It was a one night stand. It was a nobody. It don't mean nothing And I don't see how any woman could say that but then Think that it means something if a man just look at a woman And so I really want us to get past that So that it doesn't trip trip you up too much because It ain't going French scene. I think I've seen that These old comments from what we were talking about Uh a mirror it really has if you talk about the looking part Looking has nothing to do with the relationship You know a relationship is intimate You land together you sleeping together you getting married you having kids looking at somebody is nowhere near comparable to being in a relationship. So But that's why the bible so strict about it too that say if you lust on a woman in your heart You've already seen that's why so strict about it because of the fact that men back in that day could just go up and just grab a woman Women that had no rights women that had no place They could just go up and just grab a woman and just take a woman Just like what david did with balshiva. So in those cases, that's why It was so strict because of how women in that day and time women was just being boom And so today It ain't the same situation Oh, yeah, hey, god bless y'all my son don't let me say what's up Let me get the views up real quick So you get the views up. Hey, you did get the views up though Son don't My son so when I did the sweet 16 The academy y'all supported the sweet 16, but of course it was 16 dollars and um I think it set a record and I was telling him I say well son you brought some favor You brought some favor might need to start Working with you a little more often But hey god bless y'all and listen a lot of y'all ain't gonna understand what I be talking about and the reason why you're not gonna understand is because a lot of times we want to believe a fairytale And we want to believe like this thing of perfection And when it comes to humans, there's no perfect human and there's no perfect scenario And you always going to have imperfect humans doing imperfect things So you got to understand And look at it and really say What does this mean in the grand scheme of things and it's just going to Hurt me in the grand scheme of things and you got to really understand that because It would be unreal for me to tell you. Oh, yeah If a man look at another woman, that means he's a dog. He's a cheater and you should leave him because I know that's not true Oh, yeah, if a man look at another woman, that means that if you weren't there, he would have walked up to her hollered at her I know that's not true Now if you just get with community dangling who to slept with everybody Then yeah for him, that's gonna be true But just for your average everyday man, you really will be making Mountains out of molehills and you'll be tripping over something that really is His sin that he got to take up with God and that he can have to answer the God about So the best thing you could do is take and warn him one time about that sin And then go on about your business Go on about your business and don't don't lose sleep over Small stuff and Know who you are and walk in your confidence walk in your strength and that's really gonna pull him closer to you It's gonna pull him closer to you because he's gonna be intrigued like whoa what she got going on that she's not tripping no more What she got going on like is she talking to somebody has she found somebody else? And that's gonna make him want to unwrap your present because you to give Hey, god bless you. We'll talk soon Y'all take care What it was, son What it was You