 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, why men are attracted to masculine energy women, masculine energy women. I know this is going to be a controversial conversation because you've been told, especially if you're a woman watching this, not to be in your masculine, but I'm going to tell you why it's so important that you're actually lean in, lean into your masculine. Really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel and you find this content resonates with you, please click the subscribe button and hit the bell wherever it's at so you can get notified of new content. Okay, let's talk about those masculine energy women. Now, before we talk about masculine energy, I want you ladies, because my audience is women, is to think about this. One of the things that every woman says to me is they're attracted to masculine men. They're attracted to masculine men. So let's just identify that you are attractive to masculine traits. Okay, masculine men, masculine traits. Okay, now let's put that in a box for a second. Now I know you've also been told, especially you smart, strong, successful kind of women, you've ambitious women, you type A personalities, go getters or whatever, because even, you know, I don't like pigeon, I've already pigeonholed you, but let's even take every woman has been told repeatedly over and over and over again to get out of your masculine energy into your feminine energy. Get out of your masculine feminine energy and get into your feminine energy. And you've been told also that when you're in your masculine energy for you to lean back, to lean back into your feminine energy. And I'm here to say you're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong. Just like that scene in, now I can't even think of the movie. It'll come to me later, but there was a scene where Michael Keaton was told he was doing it wrong. Anyway, why this is wrong is because let's think about it. You're told that you're in your work mode, you're in your ambitious mode and to get out of that mode and be present in a relationship, be present on the date. And we're character, it's been told that they characterize presence as a feminine trait, as a feminine quality, as a feminine energy. What I'm here to say is the masculine energy that you've often been told to get out of is that energy of controlling, that energy of trying to manipulate the outcome. But I'm here to say, think about that. If that's characterized as masculine energy, that controlling behavior, that behavior to dictate an outcome, that behavior to either control others or control circumstances. And if that's characterized as masculine behavior, then let's think about this for a moment. You've been told, you've said you like masculine men. But what you're saying then is that men masculine behavior is controlling behavior and trying to dictate an outcome. And that feminine behavior, and let's think about this when you've told to not date feminine men because feminine men are needy, feminine energy men are needy and they're dependent on all those things. So then what we're saying is feminine energy is a needy energy. And this is where the garbage and the rhetoric is confusing many of you ladies. And I know because you're hearing all these other coaches talking about leaning back and get out of your masculine, getting your feminine. How about we do this? How about we just step into confidence? How about we step into our sovereignty? How about we step into being present? Instead of labeling it masculine and feminine energy? Because all it is is confidence is not masculine or feminine. Or let's be clear, it's not gender based. Okay, being present is not gender based. Being compassionate is not being gender based. So then be careful putting the label of masculine and feminine. Because all we've done all that's happening, I said we but I don't say this, I'm going to pull back and say all that's happening is creating divide between the sexes. Divide between the sexes because we associate masculine with men and we associate feminine with women. So the minute we characterize a man as being feminine, what you're really saying is a man as being a woman and then there's a judgment around that behavior that's almost saying women are bad too in this example. Do you get my gist here? And by the way, if you see that I'm yelling, it's because I'm passionate about this. I'm passionate to be the wake up call to shift the consciousness in my methodology is to do it with my, it's not masculine force, it's just enthusiasm, which is not male or female. It's just enthusiasm. In fact, if you have something to say about this, please post a comment below to let me know. You're following this to let me know because I'm here to say, be careful of the rhetoric of masculine and feminine. Because what men are attracted to, just like you're attracted to, we're attracted to confidence, we're attracted to presence, we're attracted to people who are givers, we're attracted to people who are receivers. I say we men and women who are emotionally mature and emotionally healthy aren't stuck on this whole concept of masculine and feminine energy. They're just, they're more focused on grown up energy. Are you confident? Are you present? Are you a giver? Are you capable of receiving? Because really when you think about, if we really want to get to the construct of masculine and feminine is simply masculine is doing and feminine is receiving. So here's the thing, you ladies like the idea of being with a masculine man, he's a doer, he's a doer, he's doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. And you're just going to sit back, you're just going to sit back and receive, receive, receive, receive. Well, think about this. When does he get to receive? And do you think receiving should be in, should receiving and giving and receiving be equal? Should it be mutual or should it be one-sided? Because that's the pigeonhole a lot of you are stepping into when there's an expectation that the men are the doers, because here's what happens. Yeah, men could be doing in the beginning of the dating process and you women love it because we're doing, we're doing, you don't have to do anything, you just sit and receive. And then what happens? You surrender your heart to the guy and he's burnt out doing, he pulls back or he just disappears because he realized you weren't an active participant in this process. I'm here to say that if you want a healthy, happy relationship, then beginning on the very first date, it's a two lane street. You both are giving and receiving at the same time. You're giving and receiving at the same time. And if there's an expectation that men are the doers, I want to caution you that you're setting yourself up for failure because true partnership is two people, two, you know, two people giving at the same and receiving at the same. And here's where you're going to get stuck up. It's not be stuck up, get stuck up. Is if you choose a man who's incapable of receiving love, that's a recipe for a disaster. They're oftentimes called avoidant dismissive type of men. We've done other videos on avoidant behavior and anxious behavior. In fact, in the book, where's my book? The book attached to talks about the avoidant dismissive, anxious, avoidant and anxious behavior versus secure. I would prefer that you lean into your sovereignty. I would prefer you lean into your self love. And if you're not familiar with my book, what the heck is self love anyway? There's a link in the description. Please check out my book because this is all about maintaining your sovereignty and not get hung up on the whole masculine and feminine rhetoric. How about, he's a man, you're a woman. You both are just going to show up, you know, intentional in the relationship. You're going to both show up demonstrative. You're going to both show up effusive. You're both going to be givers. You're going to be both receivers. You're both going to be present. You're both going to be confident. That's it. You don't have to label it masculine and feminine. Just be, just be, just be. And it's easier to become a be being when you love on yourself. And that's my invitation for you. Boy, I said a lot. All right. I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Let's hear your thoughts. Please post a comment below somewhere right here. If you ask a question, I read all of them. I do my best to respond to some of them. In fact, if you have a question that you want to ask on the phone with me, then schedule a discovery call. Check out the link below to schedule a discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. And if you can't afford to coach, check out my group, Midlife Love Mastery. It's a VIP group and it's only 20 bucks a month. You can afford that. Give it a shot. All right. And if you click on the link, it tells you all about it. Okay. I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do now. First off, giving myself a big gigantic job, then bear a hug of self-love. I'm going to reach into the screen and give you a hug of love. I'm going to ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks so much and wishing you a fabulous day. Bye-bye now.