 Today we are going to begin our fifth module where we would be talking about the facets of human adjustment and basically our focus would be on avoidance, drawl and compromise how these three techniques are used for a better adjustment. If you remember while we were looking at the task-oriented reaction patterns, okay. Here we did talk about different types of possibilities that we do have with us which helps us adjust and we had deliberately left out avoidance compromise in withdrawal which said that we will talk about it at length. The reason behind this primarily is the fact that the fact that you avoid something, the fact that you have a tendency to withdraw from certain type of situations or compromise in certain type of situations, they are all learning dependent, okay. These are all learned behavior and therefore if you look at it from the viewpoint of what has been learned and how essential it is for individuals to learn those skills, you realize that if one has learned to avoid the injurious situations, this means one has developed competence for survival, okay. There is no point, okay, repeatedly colliding with injurious situations in life and therefore avoidance in that light is perfectly a normal reaction that human beings can come forward with. If you are able to anticipate certain thing and therefore you avoid beforehand, this could be one way of coping, this could be one way of handling the situation that you did not confront it directly because you were very good at anticipation. You predicted that this will certainly follow the situation whatever is right now and therefore before it could occur, you succeeded avoiding it, okay. But largely the very fact that we avoid certain things, it is not that we have avoided it only once but you would realize that there are certain type of individuals, there are certain type of situations that we tend to avoid. This means avoidance is primarily targeted towards specific individuals or specific circumstances. Similarly, you tend to withdraw but withdrawal could be again with respect to or in front of certain type of individuals in certain types of situations, okay. This means that the fact that you have experienced your life, okay, with all the possible outcomes that you saw, you have now learned what should be avoided and where you should be withdrawn, okay. And hence these are all learning dependent behavior manifestations. How many of you have undergone 151, the introductory psychology course, very few. So it is a repetition for you all but because many of you have not undergone this course. Therefore I would quickly come to the major theories of learning because avoidance, compromise and withdrawal they have to do with the learning. In psychology, the major theories that talks about learning are basically the conditioning theories and the cognitive theory. Now conditioning theory is basically say that there are two formats of getting conditioned. One what is called as classical conditioning and the other is called instrumental conditioning. Classical conditioning basically is a process where you involuntarily get conditioned whereas in instrumental conditioning there is a voluntary participation of the individual, okay. So you voluntarily participate in the act and then gradually you get conditioned. As human beings, we learn know both through classical as well as through instrumental conditioning. The best example of classical conditioning would be that when as human beings when we see pickles we have watering of the mouth, you have experienced it. This is classical conditioning know unless and until the pickle should have touched your tongue your mouth should not have started excreting extra amount of saliva that should not have happened. But because the visual of the pickle itself can trigger the physiological mechanism attached to it therefore the visual of pickle starts making more and more saliva come to your mouth and hence you have the watering of the mouth, okay. Interestingly enough I will just go little into it not at the at length and hence in case you are interested reading on stuff on conditioning theories or cognitive learning then you should read a proper introductory psychology book. When Pavelov the man who came forward with this theory of classical conditioning when he was working know on in a lab set up on the dog what he realized was that the meat powder used to be presented to the dog okay and at the same time a bell used to ring and finally the dog started initially the dog salivated for the meat powder not for the sound of the bell but because these two were two contiguous very close to each other therefore the dog would involuntarily associate that the presentation of the meat powder has to do with the sound of the bell. So there was an anticipatory response so the moment the bell used to ring the dog used to salivate okay exactly in our case you see pickles in the jar and you have watering of the mouth this is classical conditioning instrumental conditioning are know those set of reactions where you are made to participate in an act okay and because of your active participation your behavior gets conditioned the initial experimental proof of this was know given by again a lab study where the cat was put into a box okay the cat was in a box the cat had to know was supposed to press a lever to come out of the cage okay and a fish happen to be lying outside the cage. So the cat would know experience the pangs of hunger inside the cage will make a random movements because of the fish lying outside the cage okay and then it was realized that you know during the random movement the cat would accidentally press the lever which makes the door open the cat used to come out have the fish the experimenter once again used to put the cat back to the cage with you know certain reputations the cat learned so it will just sleep nicely in the cage whenever feels hungry would walk to the lever press it come out have the fish okay the best experimental demonstration of instrumental conditioning was by B. F. Skinner who basically had know conditioned the pigeons and again the exercise was the same that you have a box the pigeon was put into it okay and there was a small colored dice there okay which had the electrode attached to it and the beak of the upper beak of the pigeon also had the electrode okay so the pigeon was supposed to pick and it was supposed to pick right at that point okay then only the food pallet used to come out now this pigeon out of water discussed in the cage no food to have it would peck keep pecking till it know pecks the right point and the moment the pigeon used to peck at the right point okay a food pallet would come out and this was a reward that the pigeon was getting in the initial case fish was the reward that the cat was getting now when you make the cat or the pigeon behave the way you want them to behave giving an award this is a voluntary participation of the animal and the animal gets condition and this conditioning is instrumental condition okay there could be know this was of course the reward based type of training technique there could be punishment means based treatment techniques know where you are supposed to follow a pattern and if you do not follow that you are punished for the activity okay similar type of experiments were conducted usually on rats okay and when certain pathways were made in the cage the rats were supposed to move on the pathways and the moment you deviate okay you would experience a mild electric shock because of the mild electric shock the animal would always tend to remember which grits know had electric shocks and therefore it would start moving on the desired pathway that the experimenter had said this is a experimental demonstration of instrumental conditioning okay these experiments were know conducted on human beings later okay to prove that how human beings can also be conditioned that was the first phase of it later on it was even demonstrated that if you have been conditioned there is also a possibility of deconditioning you so you are made liberated out of your conditioned behavior both these things were demonstrated in the lab what happens with respect to our tendency to avoid withdraw or compromise in certain situations in life depends on how we have been conditioned okay today we had taken that example okay where you somewhere know try to punish yourself or try to know compensate for the unethical method that we have adopted for earning something and hence you take a chunk out of it and you donate it okay and every time you donate you realize that this time for this an unethical thing that I had performed okay a part of the earning out of that unethical practice has been devoted for a better cause which is better according to you okay so our entire you know tendency of avoidance withdrawal and compromise would be guided by such type of conditioned reaction what we have learned also there is something called cognitive learning okay cognitive learning basically you know represents a case where you have your own ability to take into cognizance what you had earlier experience there this is called metacognition okay taking cognizance of your own cognitive performances metacognition so we have our experiences and the capability to metacognize this means that one situation I had one experience second similar type of situation I had one experience in the third situation I would be able to look back and reflect at these two experiences and think of what could be the outcome in the third situation and accordingly I would decide how to respond to it okay so many of our know behavior that we manifest are guided by our past experiences of similar situations okay and therefore you realize that the behavior that we show in those type of situation starts becoming constant this is what we were talking in the beginning that we choose finally in our life who are the people we should avoid okay what are the situations we should avoid and therefore it becomes more of a generalized type of a response for a set of individuals or a set of situations similarly for withdrawal withdrawal tendency similarly for compromised situations we had talked about the formation of the stimulus response bond know that in for a sudden stimulus you will have certain type of response and you realize okay that this type of know behavior is required in this type of a situation best examples you can take remember your childhood days know you go to your school and this is your first day in your school you do not know that when a teacher enters the class you have to stand up and then in a very rhyming fashion you have to say good morning ma'am okay you sit there you still do not know why people are carrying bags and why each bag has a lunch box and why even though I am carrying a lunch box I cannot have it right now okay many of the know things of the orderly world is not known to a child who has come to the school for the first day okay looks at a teacher entering the room and then know couple of children who are older in the school in the class they will stand up they will say no good morning ma'am ma'am will respond back okay and the ma'am and the teachers will look at you you did not stand you did not wish good morning to your ma'am and then you realize okay so whenever a teacher enters the room this is how it has to be done and little later you realize after progressing in a few more classes you realize that you do not have to sing you just have to say good morning sir good morning ma'am so at a rhyming presentation is gone okay and then comes a time when you realize that you do not even have to stand okay and then you have cultural differences know culture like here where know you are supposed to come sit take your seats and then stay here in the class for time for the full time here also you would have differences know many institutions where you have address code also so you have to put a particular uniform to come to the class okay and in more liberated institution like ours you can even come in a Bermuda in a short in a Hawaii chapel it is all your prerogative you know you choose how bad to groom yourself or how good to groom yourself okay and then you could have you know in few of the institutions not in our country outside where you one can take the liberty of smoking in the class for example you can come with a bottle of coke for example in the class in our condition these would be considered to be violation of the code of conduct okay and now just move to the stern side a little more on the stern side and you realize know that everybody know has their notebooks open or their books open the turn the page at the same time they will go down at the same time so there is a know a whole lot of difference know in terms of how you behave in the class but then it has to do with how you have been mentored okay what type of experiences you had the day when you did not stand in the class the day when you did not wish the day when you wish in the class the day when you stood in the class okay and accordingly we keep on keep on changing the same person who used to stand and sing good morning ma'am just after three four years okay stands but says good morning ma'am okay now you avoid one type of a behavior okay or one pattern in the same set of behavior okay so likewise you would find little bit of the tints of avoidance withdrawal or compromise everywhere you don't feel standing know in cues for long long time many schools their morning assemblies are quite long even the school where I was know 50 minute long assembly and it's a pain for many know that you have to stand no erect for 50 minutes so right from prayer to know news of the day to news highlights of the day thought for the day Hindi recitation English recitation Sanskrit recitation so you will have a whole lot of things that has to be done every day ritualistically and the assembly would end with the national anthem I don't know how many of you also had similar experiences and then you would find a beautiful pattern what I experience was that the more younger you are the more you enjoy assembly participation and the more older in the sense that more you are towards class 8 9 10 the more deviant you tend to become okay so the queue for class 9th and 10th know they will be standing in the queue those in the front will be you know very erect those at the back will take the liberty of singing something else while some other song is going on okay or know will instead of closing the eyes will know keep on looking here and there okay or know even laughing in between and then nobody says no who laughed and therefore the whole class gets punishment all types of activities you tend know to compromise with the situation because you know that this is the way 9th and 10th students behave and therefore even though I might not approve of that set of behavior I still become a part of it compromise with the situation but these are all intellectual know capability of yours which makes you decide it fine the situation requires you to avoid the situation requires you to withdraw from it the situation requires you to compromise because you want to still retain the level of adjustment that you have been able to in novel situations in our life one would always look at the past experiences the earlier experiences and then try to understand that what would be the appropriate response in this set of situation know and accordingly you judge and the more and more know varied experience you have the better could be the judgment and better the judgment is the more appropriate your behavior is the more appropriate behavior you come forward with the more accepted you are the more accepted you are the more adjusted you are. Now, what is withdrawal and compromise they are all behavior manifestation which are all know very very closely linked to our learning process how you have been trained study you remember when we were talking about undoing we did say that it is the early childhood experience which will make you realize that asking for an excuse asking for pardon do you really value it or not when you say sorry to somebody many people know take it as if saying sorry is an insult to me many people will take pride know that how know polite I am and how humble I am that I do not hesitate in know begging sorry because I was the one who committed this error but all that would depend on how you have been groomed remember yesterday we were talking with respect to undoing similarly what to avoid what to compromise know with what to where to withdraw from this would also be dependent on what you have learned the tendency to avoid certain type of food the tendency to avoid certain type of people the tendency to avoid certain type of locality you have been know told what to eat and what not to and you develop a taste which might be completely know opposite to what somebody else in some other part of the world has developed say like if you are given raw fish to eat you would consider that how unhuman treatment this is because fish is a delicious item for those who are non-vegetarians but then there is a way of cooking it know and unless and until you cook it is not edible whereas you go to the stern part of the world the more is from India and then you realize that in the forest even raw fishes are delicious the whole set of sushi is in Japan for example know you take raw fishes and you enjoy very delicious for us it is pain to have it because we have not developed a taste in that way similarly know it is basically again the tendency to avoid the same food which is not prepared in your way you are conditioned to having food in particular way similarly know selection of spices for example the raw material for the ingredients for cooking a stuff so right from there to how you groom to what you speak selection of words selection of friends selection of enemies all those are based on our learning experience how we have learned things and what all we have learned now avoidance of dangerous situation is something that is supposed to be biologically wired in us we won't go into the details of it but if you read the books on evolutionary psychology you will find know that those there are sound arguments know which will tell you that why human beings are always scared of certain type of animals basically speaking the reputiles human race by default is very very scared of a reputiles and evolutionary psychologists they argue that for the survival of the species the mammals had had a very tough time with the reputiles recollect the earlier days of the dinosaurs and all those big birds those heptic creatures which were carnivorous men have also happened to struggle with them for their survival so the toughest struggle that human beings had with the reputiles that phase is over human beings got superiority over the reputiles in the process of evolution but the whole fact that know we had a very close and tough battle with the reputiles still remains in our mind and therefore the biological brain always makes you respond with a fearful type of an outcome when you encounter a reputile but irrespective of a reputile which is which is supposed to be biologically wired in you for rest of the things you realize that it is gradually your own past experience that tells you whether you should avoid this situation or not and largely it is the situation where you predict that there is a danger to your survival now if you are able to anticipate then you avoid the situation but here avoidance is used more like a coping module you have to cope with the situation and you have used avoidance as a coping technique anticipation of ultimate negative outcome is likely to lead to avoidance of the situation so if you are able to anticipate that the final outcome is going to be negatively loaded in the situation okay we all are you know concerned about your own ego structure and therefore we would not want the negative outcomes to reach us so if you are able to predict the negativity in this outcome of the situation then you decide it finds better for me to quit right now I would avoid this situation again if you look at know the behavior pattern in psychology we talk about two types of behavior broadly speaking the overt and the covert behavior okay now overt behavior are basically those manifested behavior which you show okay behavior outcome that is visible to others is called overt behavior I am standing right now I am talking to you I am adopting certain gestures in posture all these are overt forms of behavior then comes the other type of behavior what is called as the covert behavior covert behavior is basically the latent behavior which is not visible to others okay say for example what I think right now what I feel right now if it is not shown to others if others are not able to judge it okay this would again be considered as behavior in psychology but they are considered as covert behavior withdrawal and compromise you would realize that it can be either overt or it can be you know even covert in nature if you know perceive in a moment that there is a threat the overt tendency is to avoid so there is a threatful situation and you overtly tend to avoid it so say for example you know somebody suddenly it tells you that you know just be aware there was a big anaconda in this room sometime back okay and the moment you hear of this news okay you perceive a threat and therefore you decided it is better to avoid if you are you know here in the class okay you see for opportunity that can we go out of it those who would be outside and about to enter would decide not to enter this is an overt response in a threatful situation the moment you perceive threat it is better to avoid it okay so say for example it could be of a very small nature which you usually do not comprehend that way like say there could be three routes of reaching your hall and one route has intense traffic jam okay you decide to overtly avoid that route and follow the other route which will lead you conveniently reach your hall you have avoided one route this is an overt avoidance okay but if you realize that you know there is a dangerous situation okay then there could be a tendency to withdraw from it now you remember threat in a given situation would be that there is an immediate threat okay danger in the situation it might happen it might not happen examples like when we used to have no repeated bomb blasts in this country okay just before certain festive seasons no in certain market places no many many places in India had such type of bomb blast serial bomb blasts would take place no and you know that this is just one day or two day before the festival and therefore large number of people will go to the market to procure certain things for the celebration of the festival and deliberately in market which high density of individuals there would be some explosions I know of people in certain cities know who would deliberately avoid going to the market on those days you simply withdraw I do not want to go there okay so if there is an option of online booking for a stuff I will do that I will prefer to retain inside my house because withdrawal is the best tendency there is a danger there is a danger but then whether I would be a prey or not I do not know whether it would happen this time or not I do not know whether it will happen in my market or not I do not know okay so the danger means would be situations where there is embedded danger in the perception but then most of it remains undefined whereas in the case of the threat there is a defined threat okay and hence in the first case you realize that there is a tendency to avoid it in the other case you realize that there could be a tendency to withdraw from the situation okay sometime back I was know in an area where mostly the regional movies would be screened you know the language that I did not know and there was only one theater where the Hindi movies would be screened okay and there used to be several times there happened to be you know bomb blasts either in the parking area or ticket booking area inside the theater okay so when I was there I never ever for those many years never ever went to the theater to watch a movie okay today when I am talking to you I realize that this is also withdrawal okay there is a danger and there is no ambiguity in the occurrence of the phenomena but you perceive the danger and therefore you decide that it is better to remain withdrawn do not actively participate in this type of an environment now some other subtle means of coping also might include you know avoidance in fact little later we will come to stress coping and resilience and there we would be talking about coping at length and you would realize that there is a something called avoidance coping okay where the tendency to avoid something okay could be used as a strategy of for coping in a given situation but that is unlike withdrawal and compromise withdrawal and compromises are not used as coping technique rather they would be strategies to encounter the adversity that you are experiencing right now but there could be certain situations no like you can have symptoms such as amnesia amnesia is forgetfulness okay or some other format of neurotic or psychotic symptoms okay in certain type of neurotic or psychotic disorders you have tendency to forget certain things okay now certain degree of forgetfulness towards the situation or you become amnesic for a longer duration okay you remain without memory for a longer duration or you could revert to regressions or you could you know revert to fantasy where you gratify the unfulfilled things in imaginary forms okay now there is something called motivated forgetting okay motivated forgetting is a situation where you show a desperate tendency to deliberately erase something out of your conscious awareness okay say for example you had very illustrious academic career okay minus one course where you field once you got F okay and you had to redo it okay now when you recollect your academic performance okay you remember everything except the F I say there was a course I did not do well but I think it's 10, 12, 15, 20 years old so I don't remember the grade the truth is that you know that's a painful memory for you and therefore you are you show a desperate tendency to deliberately erase it that is motivated forgetting okay amnesia would be that you know the experience itself is no too traumatic to be recollected and hence till you realize that you are capable of you are desensitized enough to recollect it you show that you say that you show certain degree of numbness you state that are there something was there but I don't clearly remember it now the example that we discussed know that during the Kargil war when after winning a particular position one of the brave commanders know lost his head he was bearded out of the bombshell and the fellow journalist there no he did did always show as if he was not able to recollect for some time it was after a certain period when he could you know restate what actually had happened here what he saw there but what you realize in these things either it is you know means of coping whether it is some form of a neurotic behavior some form of a psychotic symptom whether it is you know certain degree of forgetfulness whether it is amnesia whether it is a regression whether it is fantasy means you are coming to the borderline area now but still the core in all these format is withdrawal and avoidance now fear or anger inducing situations they tend to elicit movement either towards or away from them this means that if you are angry you tend usually to fight this is the usual tendency but you could be intelligent enough to realize that I am still a timid person in front of the source of anger and hence I cannot go and retaliate and therefore you might decide to move away from your source of anger now moving away in such type of situations is usually guided by the simple overt withdrawal or avoidance tendency you know that you know that if you are if you do not withdraw in this situation then you are going to be experiencing more heat of the situation something that you do not want to experience now in terms of our internal experiences the emotional experiences we always talk of three things in emotion reaction we will talk about two of them one is the directionality in the emotion and second is the valency in the emotion valency of the emotion would mean that positive emotion negative emotion this is valency of the emotion for example happiness is a positive emotion sadness on the other hand is the negative emotion surprise is a positive emotion discussed is a negative emotion anger is a negative emotion so one way of looking at your emotional experiences that you have either a positive emotion or you have a negative emotion but the other interesting thing in terms of emotional reaction says that directionality component and directionality means either your emotional experience makes you move towards the source of emotion or it makes you repel the source of emotion say for example happiness valency wise it is a positive emotion directionality wise it will be a approach emotion so approach emotion means that I am very happy because you did something and I will certainly would like to get in touch with you and to express my gratitude that how happy I am that you have done this favor to me so this valency makes you approach the individual you are extremely disgusted that this has happened to you and you say that I do not even want to see the face of this man there is a great degree of repulsion here in terms of directionality you are trying to avoid me avoidance once again comes here in the form of behavior but now it is colored with emotions usually it is the anger which always makes you approach compared to other emotions negative emotions which will help you largely you know repel yourself away from the scenario but then there could be interesting compromises that human beings show I might not like the situation but I have no other way but to do it you remember I was sharing an experience with you that when we were working once with the on the NGO workers who were you know working in the field after the tsunami in southern part of India many of them they showed certain degree of dissociation you do not feel your attachment towards the whole whatever has happened all even because it is emotionally painful for you but then what else can you do I am jobless I have been given a job in an NGO and I am told that you have to do this and you go for an intelligent compromise because you do not have an option we will take some examples some of the major events in the Indian in history and we will know try to look at it from now we are not looking at individuals response we are looking at variance in the response pattern first we take you know the Shri Parimudur episode when Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated he was the then prime minister and it was later on realized that somebody one of the police authority who was on duty there the moment this blast took place the camera could catch that one ambassador car left the site means the officer concerned ran away from the site and you know the tape was on so the video showed you know and there were several stills there which showed that there were people you know who immediately after the blast rushed at this spot now imagine the difference between the two set of police officers the one who perceived the threat in the situation the danger and then decided to take away his official vehicle and leave the place the second who did not know rethink that if one blast has taken place the other successive blast can also happen but in turn he approaches that spot this is the variation in the response although you realize that know we talk about fight and flight in psychology know that either you have a tendency to fight or all your behavior can be defined only in terms of these two formats that either you tend to fight with the situation or you try to fly away but then in same situation you realize that somebody shows a tendency to fight and somebody shows a tendency to fly away personality psychologist will define you know that what type of people usually show this tendency and what type of people show the other type of tendency we are right now not going into the details of it a second interesting example know that 26 11 Mumbai attack where you had a mixed feeling people who were on the site who are invariably demonstrated nothing but fear and there were few others who were sitting in studios facing camera of different news channels participating in a panel discussion about whatever has happened and whatever is going on and none of them showed fear all of them showed anger situation is the same one set of individuals who are actually involved in there the level of involvement is such that any time they could also become a victim of it you show fear second set of people who realize that I am in a very comfortable cozy environment there is no threat to me now that my survival is not under threat why should I be afraid so there is no fear in turn I show anger this happened once this happened twice this has happened now train bomb blasts X bomb blasts Y bomb blasts and you keep on keep on no linking information of the past to prove that how incapable the whole system has been you show your anger so similar situation can you know invoke different types of responses I am both in terms of the fight flight reaction also in terms of the emotion that it induces now when the individual is no dominant pattern of behavior in the case of anger so if the individual know always in a threatful situation tends to be angry then you are considered as an aggressive human being but if the person know who shows movement which is predominantly away from the threatful situation you might be considered to be timid or withdrawn now withdrawal can often be used as a defense mechanism that I am trying to withdraw from it simply because this is the best defense I have if I participate I would not be able to control myself and if I do not control myself something wrong might happen so when punishment or the threat of punishment becomes excessive you decide that escape is the best defense and how would you escape you turn inward you become withdrawn and this works very well because it helps you reduce the tension that was generated out of you know the punishment actual punishment or the perceived threat of punishment that you were thinking of now simple overt avoidance is the most obvious and available means of handling threats and conflicts so you tend to avoid you tend to withdraw now there could be a possibility where you show withdrawal tendency which is very realistic means the situation realistically wants you to withdraw because if you do not withdraw then there is a big danger to your survival this type of a withdrawal would be considered to be an appropriate response but if you over generalize it over generalize means if you tend to withdraw in most of the situations wherever you find little bit of danger also it might not be withdrawal in the form of adjustment rather it is a withdrawal tendency that you are reflecting which basically shows that you feel as if you are inadequate to handle this situation take examples just to I think study or day before there was a stampede at one of the railway stations here and many of 36 people died on in this whole process now imagine yourself in that situation that you are on a platform where a train arrives and you have thousands and thousands of people to board the train you know that the train will stop only for limited period of time and you have to make yourself enter the train and occupy a space for yourself large number of us even those who died in that process were very sure that you will go will succeed boarding the train and will certainly reach our destinations that is no that you see that there is a threat of no not getting a seat not being able to board the train or you also perceive a danger of stampede and things like that but you decide that no nothing will happen I will manage the other could be that you know you just see a very very massive crowd pouring in and then you have freezing experience I cannot board the train you shake you shiver you perspirate you freeze I cannot and if you are you know in danger situations where you perceive danger if you start showing this type of withdrawal tendency this withdrawal is no more a withdrawal which was facilitating your adjustment rather it is a withdrawal which is a reflection of incompetence inadequacy so till now before this we were referring to withdrawal as mechanism of maintaining your level of adjustment now we have moved to the side where your withdrawal is no more helping you adjust rather it is making you inadequate incapable and if you use defensive withdrawal in accession then it is certainly a maladaptive form of it is not at all and defensive withdrawal would be that you are asked by your wingmate that fine we are know all going for a night out I will go to this restaurant and enjoy like anything know this is the menu we will explore many more if you want so join us and you have a defensive withdrawal you think I do not know how Raju will interpret me how Sharad will interpret me how wakes how why when you say I have some stomach upset because you realize that if I if you say that I have something to do you might not be excused but if you talk of element you might be excused this is a defensive withdrawal then you did not actually experience it but you are using it now if I want to deliberately avoid somebody in the group whom I do not like this could be one of my ways of handling the situation the discomfort the emotional unrest but if I am predominantly started if I am started using it is an indicator of my social anxiety it is no more an indicator of adjustment and therefore this is a reflection of maladjustment will continue with this tomorrow.