 The Comic Weekly Man. The Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man. The Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Oh, little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm anxious. What are you anxious about? Well, just as we are today. Well, this certainly is your anxious day, isn't it? Yes, quickly. Puck the Comic Weekly quickly, very well, I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Puck the Comic Weekly and on the first page, hop along Cassidy. Magical words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for hop along. Hoppy and his pals had found the body of the telegraph man lying in the river. A few minutes later, they were joined by the man's sister who had followed along behind. Hoppy had helped her bring the unconscious Ken's body back to the telegraph company's camp. The girl then mistakenly told everybody that Hoppy was to blame for all the trouble they had been having and was the man responsible for her brother Ken being hurt. Hearing this, the men at the camp attacked Hoppy and his pals. And just as it looked as though they were going to be beaten up, Ken, the man they had rescued, regained consciousness and stopped the workers telling them that Hoppy had really saved his life by pulling him out of the river. Then they saw a prowler trying to slip away from the crowd. Hoppy quickly catches the man, an evil-looking creature with a patch over one eye. Hoppy says, Hey, this prowler must have been watching Lucky, Californian me, and that little freak is with your men, Ken. Ken, the telegraph man replies, Yeah, and then when I recovered in time to make them realize their mistake, he sneaked into camp to learn what we were up to. Hoppy says, first picture, second rule. Well, he learned that after he leads us to the fur trapper settlement. We're going to find out why the mountain men are blocking work on this telegraph line. Next picture, Hoppy tells Californian Lucky, You two stay and keep your eyes open. If Ken and I don't return soon, send out a search party. First picture, third rule. Two figures, a mountaineer and a dog. Watch from high up on the mountain as Hoppy and Ken leave camp with the man with a black patch. The mountaineer says to his dog, There they go, fang. When if and glint eye plays it smart, he'll lead them straight into the pit. Over lofty crests and through sunless canyons where few have ever ventured, the small party slowly advances. Suddenly they come to a narrow opening in the mountain wall. First picture, fourth row. Hopper rears up. Ken says, anything wrong, Cassidy? Hoppy answers. Hopper senses something. Better push her head on foot. They dismount. And they walk forward through the opening. Unnoticed by the others, glint eye, second picture, fourth row permits his boot to hook under a taut line that stretches across the ground. A moment later, a gate closes behind him. As Hoppy turns his back to look at the gate, first picture, next row, glint eye runs for an entrance across the opening. And a second later, he is through and closes the gate at the other end. And Hoppy and Ken find themselves prisoners in a sort of pit. And both entrances are closed. And then they hear a roar. Last picture. They spin around and see two huge grizzly bears coming straight toward them. Yes, and look. Those animals are coming right at Hoppy. And Lucky in California certainly helps them. Hoppy will have to think fast to pull himself out of this spot. Or we'll find out what happens next week. Now? Well now, there. Very well over the page we go. Olo cares Flash Gordon. And this is so expect to the space platform where the earth people work. Yes, and then he saw Toxo, the leader of the Martians, hiding there. And he drove Toxo away. But one of Toxo's shots hit the oxygen tank and burst into flames. And Dale was separated from Flash. And it looks as though she could be in terrible danger from the fire. So please, Rita, I'm anxious to find out what happened. Very well, here we go with Flash Gordon. Rega rega dune dune, Sascha matage, let's have music for heroic flash. Dale clings to the space platform and tries to shield herself from the oxygen fire set by Toxo the Martian. Flash works desperately to save her and the ship. Building a pressure cap to patch the broken hull. Flash picture top roll. With his ray gun, Flash blasts a momentary gap in the flames. Quickly, he slams home the pressure seals and puts out the fire and saves the remnant of their precious liquid oxygen, their only source of air. Dale is badly shaken. Flash comforts her first picture bottom roll. The Space Islands commander, Dr. Ruff, watches the Martians' ship spinning some distance away. He asks anxiously, what are those pirates from Mars doing now, Flash? They're really running away. Flash uses the astragant to check the Mars ship's new course. He reports, no, they're coasting parallel to our orbit around the Earth. They're just out of our range, waiting to attack again or to take over when we run out of oxygen. What Flash doesn't know is that the Martians can still tune in on his brain waves. That last picture, Toxo and the Martian ship, here's what Flash has said. Toxo grins evil-y. So, they can't hit us, huh? But we can hurt them. Focus a sun mirror to burn up the last of their oxygen. Oh, no. This makes things extremely difficult for Flash. What if he will die? That's true, but that's something we'll find out next week. Now, look across the page. There's Prince Valiant. Oh, he died. Yes, and Val has gone under Camelot to King Arthur's castle. And King Arthur and two of the knights at the round table were walking down the hall, and they saw Val's shield hanging there. And they were so surprised that Val was back. Yes, and now let's read and see what kind of reception Val will get. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Echid Brechid, Grey Malkin and Quince, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Camelot in the Hall of Champions stands a peg. For almost a year, the spiders have spun their webs there, unmolested. But now, suddenly, appears there a gleaming sword and battered shield. It is Val's sword and Val's shield. Val, the greatest hero of the round table, the greatest fighter of them all. When the news gets around, the more serious knights seek the quiet of their rooms, the stables, or the battlefield, as Sir Gawain bellows second picture. Hi-ho, Prince Valiant! Avance, get a brain! Val, hearing his old friend's joyful voice, steps out into the hallway. And last picture, top row, old comrades meet with all the quiet dignity of a train wreck. Sir Gawain leaps at Val and throws his arms around him. Ha-ha-ho! Ha-ha-ha! They fall to the floor, scuffling around, laughing like two boys. Ha-ha-ha! First picture, second row, a siege of the round table is called, and Val must recount his adventures. There's much mirth at the tails, he tells, and goblets are filled again and again. Everyone has a roaring time at the huge banquet given in Val's honor. There's a twinkle in Sir Gawain's eye. He nods his head to Val, and they go outside. And while getting a breath of air, Val and Sir Gawain find some planks by the boat landing at the foot of the winding tower stairway. At the sight of the planks, Val and Gawain have the same idea. And with a mischievous look in their eyes, they put the planks at an incline, so they slant from the stairs at a dark spot. They arrange them so that the tip of the plank reaches the edge of the castle wall, leading into the moat, the stream of water around the castle. And then, Val wets down the planks. Last picture, middle row, to make them slippery. Then Gawain shouts up the stairway. Come quickly! A dragon swims up the river! There was a sound of voices. The knights at the table leap to their feet and come rushing to the door. The minute they touch the slippery planks, their feet slide out from under them. And 20 of King Arthur's best knights slide grandly over the edge of the wall. Plunk, plunk, plunk into the river. First picture, bottom row. As Val innocently turns to Sir Gawain and says, Did you really see a dragon in the river? Sir Gawain replies, I-I thought I did. But who can tell with all those bathers splashing? Hey, you! Come on, let me show you! As the 20 knights struggle to get out of the river, shaking their fist at Val, Sir Gawain taps Val on the shoulder and suggests that maybe they better go someplace else. Last picture, hiding in the haymow, they listen to the other knights trying to find them. Val settles back in the hay and murmurs contentedly, after the hardships of travel, it's good to come once again to the peace and quiet of Camelot. They certainly did, but everybody had a jolly time now that Val is back and they're all so happy to see him. Maybe there'll be more trickery, but we'll find out about that next week. And I will read them right away, so here we go with Dagwood and Blondie. Ram-a-foo, Ram-a-fum, Zim-Zim-Zombie. Country music for Dagwood and Blondie. Blondie or Dagwood tells Blondie today, I don't have to go to the office until noon because I have a lot of working overtime yesterday. Blondie nods her head and begins to make the bed. Dagwood watches her for a moment and then says, if you make the bed one side at a time instead of walking back and forth, it'll be easier. Blondie looks at him and says, nothing. Last picture top row, Dagwood watches Blondie as she vacuums the room. Then he stops her and smiles sweetly as he says, wait, let me show you how to operate a vacuum with the most efficiency. Blondie looks at Dagwood and says, nothing. First picture next row, Blondie is ironing. Dagwood sits in a chair, smoking a pipe, watching her for a while and then says, you certainly waste a lot of motion, ironing. Why don't you do the sleeves in front together? Blondie closes her eyes, grits her teeth and says, a little later, Blondie is working at the kitchen table making some pie dough. Dagwood watches her for a bit and then says, if you'd roll your pie dough on wax paper, you wouldn't have to wash the table afterward. Blondie closes her eyes, grits her teeth, takes her deep breath and... Finally, Dagwood says, last picture, second row. Well, time to go down to the office and get back to work. Down at the office, Dagwood is busy working when suddenly the door opens and into his office comes Blondie. Blondie replies, Yes dear, remember me? You're a little inefficient housewife. She marches right over to his desk, jerks a drawer out, empties it into the wastebasket, say. Your desk drawers haven't been cleaned in years. How can you work in such mess? Dagwood looks at her in surprise and says, nothing. Last picture, third row, Blondie goes through his filing cabinets and she exclaims, goodness, how can you ever find anything in these files? Such disorder and confusion. Dagwood chooses fingernails and says, First picture, bottom row, Dagwood goes to the water cooler to get a drink. He finds Mr. Dithers there. Blondie sees him and says, No wonder you have to work overtime, hanging around the drinking fountain all day. Dagwood drops his cup to the floor and runs into Mr. Dithers' office. Blondie follows him into the office. Mr. Dithers and Dagwood are hiding under the desk. She asks, sweetly, Have you had enough? Dagwood holds up a white handker. She's tied to a ruler and says, I surrender, dear. Blondie walks through the elevator with a smile on her face. As soon as she has turned her back, Mr. Dithers jumps on Dagwood and starts to beat him up and says, Don't you know better than to give your wife advice on keeping house, Dagwood yells for help. Help, help. Blondie sweetly smiles and rings the elevator bell and says, nothing. She certainly did, didn't she? Yes, she certainly did. You'll never do it again. You'll never do it again. No. Now look. Oh, Blondie. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the bottom of the first page of the second section, Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Magic wits for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ah, yip-pai-oh. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yip-pai-oh. Roy falls to the ground under the weight of ballast, the huge crook. Cube Root, his friend, sitting on the stage coach, excitedly pulls up his gun and it goes off accidentally. The horse is frightened by the shot, run wild. They stampede straight for ballast and Roy, who are lying on the ground struggling. Last picture, top row. Jut, the other outlaw, leaps out of the way yelling, Ballast, look out! Ballast sees the horse is coming and leaps aside. The team runs right over Roy, who reaches up and grabs under the tongue of the wagon, first picture, bottom row. By a miracle, the horse's hoops don't touch him. Quickly, Roy pulls himself up up to the wagon tongue. And then, hanging under the harness, he stands up between the two lead horses and gentles them down. Next picture, saying, Oh, boys, whoa. Look out, easy now, boys. Easy there, easy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The horse is gentle down. Roy says, Nice calculating, Cube. You got me out of a tight spot by stampeding the horses. Cube, who's been frightened to death by what's happened, says, Uh, I, I did. I mean, oh, yes, yes, yes, I did. But let's not forget Roy. We promised the banker to recover his gold shipment. Meanwhile, back at the covered wagon, Jut is saying, We're clearing out, Ballast. Rogers and that transportation expert will fetch a sheriff's posse pronto. Ballast replies, Yeah, we can leave Beetle up on the butte with the strong box and the kite till after dark, Jut. Later, Roy having the horses under control has wheeled around and is heading back toward flat top butte. As a near the spot, Cube says, last picture, They're gone, Roy. I wonder where they secreted the box of gold. And what happened to that little confederate, Beetle? Roy suddenly exclaims, Hey, am I seeing things? There's a man on flat top butte. How do you ever get up there? Yes, or maybe if Beetle thinks that Ballast and Jut have left him, Beetle will tell Roy what's happened. Oh, I hope so. Good. Well, we'll find out about that next week. Now, let's turn over the page and see who's there. Oh, look, there's a bit. So we'll read. Here we go with Donald Duckle. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee, chicka-chack. Let's have music to play. Quack, quack. Donald's nephew, Huey, Dewey, and Louie are looking at a globe which is a round ball with the map of the world drawn on it. They point to a country called Australia which is at the very bottom of the ball. And Dewey says, Uncle Donald, do people live in this country down here called Australia? And Donald replies, Yep, and very nice people too. Louie asks, Well, why don't they fall off? Donald answers, That's a very good question. It's a moongie. It's a cryptic voice. Yeah, that's it. Huey says, A cryptic voice. What's that? Donald replies, Last picture. Well, look. Ranging Uncle Donald with a pail of water and he'll show you. So off skitter the boys. And in a second they come skittering back in again with a pail of water. Donald picks up the pail of water first picture bottom row and says, Thanks, boys. Now stand back. Now you'll notice when I swing the bucket around, the water stays in the... When he turns around to see what happened, he sees last picture a lamp broken, coffee table broken, and the rug all soaked. And Dewey says, Yeah, but we still don't understand why the people don't fall off. Wasn't that funny? Donald was going to show them that the water stays in the pail when he swings the pail around and he didn't look where he was swinging, so he hit the funny. Yes, look at that funny look in his face. Oh, isn't he funny? Well, now look. Here's Dick's adventures across the page. Oh, yes, and I'm anxious to read that because last week, Dick was dreaming that he was with General Washington when he said goodbye to his officers after the Revolutionary War was over. Yes, and then he resigned as General of the Armies and went to his home in Mount Vernon. Yes, but remember, the Dick said he couldn't do it. He said, but remember, the Dick said he couldn't do that because he was going to be president and he was the first president, wasn't he? He was the father of our country. That's right. So let's read now and see if we can find out more about that. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Riggity-pack-ca-zack-ca-zick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Dick's father has tipped to it in his room to close the window because it's been raining. He sees Dick sound asleep and he smiles and says to him softly, ah, maybe you're dreaming of the glorious old days again, Dick. I sure wish I could be with you, son. And he tipped toast from the room. And... Dick's dream. Miraculously, the century is slumbering forever in the web of time, awakened to life again. Scarcely does Dick seem surprised to find his father at his side as they drive into Old New York in his dream. Last picture, top row. Down a narrow street called Wall, first picture, middle row, they move through a vast, joyful, noisy crowd. Dick says, gee, I hope we're in time for the inaugural dance. They manage to reach the interior of the auditorium in time and the crowd waits. And then... there's a roar of welcome. And then a sudden hush as a beloved figure strides forward. It is George Washington, the crowd quiets down. George Washington lays his hand on the Bible and last picture, second row, solemnly takes a never-before-spoken oath. Dick whispers in awe. The first president of the United States of America. The whole nation gives itself a holiday in celebration of the election of the first president of the United States. And Dick and his dad in Dick's dream are at the ball, which Washington himself is attending, first picture, bottom row. Dick is saying to his father, gee, look, Dad, Martha Washington Jefferson, the first secretary of the state. Hamilton, the first secretary of the treasury. In John Marshall, the first chief justice of the Supreme Court. And then the party is over and after a sound night of sleep, it's time for Dick and his father to be on their way. As Dick is combing his hair, his father slams the trunk shut and says, Well, New York is only the temporary capital, Dick, has talked of building a national city in the Potomac to be called the District of Columbia. Well, let's get started for home. Last picture, they're on their way back home. Heading south, they come to the scene of an accident. A man is standing beside a broken buggy. They rain up beside him and the man says, I guess my gig's done for, sir. I'm Eli Whitney, looking for a job as school teacher in Georgia. Would it be my good fortune to find you're going my way? Yes, sir, the first president. We saw how they had wonderful parties in honor of the occasion. The adventure will begin with this new man that they met on the road. I wouldn't be a bit surprised. I can hardly wait till next week. I just love Dick's adventures. So do I. Now look, right here, 100 Nick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes, remember that last week, Rusty found out that Queenie's father wore a moccasin so that they sure that he must be cat foot Kendall, the man who got into trouble. Yes, the man who was ruled off the racetracks and could never drive in a trotting race again. But Tech suspects that Queenie's father wasn't really to blame. And he told Rusty to get a job as a stable boy at the grassy acres farm where they have trotting horses. Yes, and Tech thinks that maybe corny box that man over there might be the one who's the real crook who got Queenie's father into this trouble. Well, let's read now and find out about that. So here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for us horse and Rusty. Today, Tech's is talking to Mr. Miles. And he says, oh, boys, I took it on myself to give Rusty sort of a leave of absence. I think you put your OK on it when I give you the facts. Mr. Miles replies, well, you've got me curious, Techs. What's it all about? You're going to find this hard to believe, Mr. Miles, but the fellow who's living in that shack at the edge of the woods is actually cat foot Kendall, the harness race driver. You don't say. Extraordinary. I don't follow the trotters very carefully, but wasn't he involved in the nasty scandal? That's right, boss. Mr. Cornie Butts was driving a horse named Poobov for grassy acre stables. He and cat foot Kendall were neck and neck when a fork of Butts's sulky broke. Butts ain't driven since. Oh, yes, yes, it comes back to me now. They found the fork was partly sawed through, and they found a hacksaw in Kendall's kit. Mr. Miles stands up and inquires last picture top row. But what's all this got to do with Rusty getting a leave of absence? Well, I was getting to that, boys. We got a hunch that Kendall was framed, so Rusty's got himself a job over at grassy acres to see if he can pick up any information. He continues first picture bottom row. Oh, just one more thing, boss, and you better hold your hat and I'll tell you this. That cute little girl of Kendall's hid his white man, Raina Blanca, in a cave to prevent her being sold. Rusty's got her in with those saddle hoses. Mr. Miles with a twinkle in his eyes exclaims, Well, well, Mike George, the little scamps. Somehow I like the idea. I never quite trusted that man, Crumb. Meanwhile at the grassy acres farm, corny bots are saying to Rusty, Oh, Rusty, go around back to Mr. Crumb's office and put a coat of varnish on the shaft for the sultry in the shed there. Rusty replies, Yes, sir, Mr. Bots. At this moment, a few feet from the shed in Mr. Crumb's office, the owner of the farm, Mr. Crumb is puffing on his cigar, talking to a shady-looking individual. He's saying, Now listen, Nick, I'm getting fed up with your panhandling. You were paid off for that job, even though you bungled it. By rights, you shouldn't have gotten a nickel. A man named Nick replies, Well, it wasn't my fault, Crumb. You know, them suckies was exactly alike. And I don't think you'd like me to tell the association what I know. Now, would you? Rusty, who's outside of that moment, overhears this and says to himself, Wow, am I hearing right? Exactly the way Tex hoped it would. Rusty's learned something that makes him know that something is crooked somewhere. You bet he has. However, no names have been mentioned, so Rusty'll have to learn a little bit more before he'll have real proof to bring back to Tex. Yes, and I can hardly wait till next week to hear more about this. And now, I know that Queenie's father didn't do anything bad. And I'm convinced of it too, but that's all the time I have. Before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all you boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week. Okay, that's a date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with a little friend, Miss Honey, next week, when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the jolly Comic Weekly Man.