 We all have a dark side. The part of ourselves we don't quite understand. The actions and behaviours we don't know the reason for, can't comprehend and perhaps are unable to see at all, no matter how close you stand in the mirror. It may appear in the form of weaknesses that dilute your strengths or flaws that take away from your true potential. Come what may, our imperfections are part of who we are, they're just the natural side effect of being human. And being a good human is a full time job in itself, which takes a great deal of commitment and vulnerability. In order to get to know yourself better, it's important to acknowledge the side of you. One that you may not recognize but plays a huge role in shaping who you are as a person. Let's take a deep dive into seven behaviours that could deeply impact your life. Perfectionism. Perfectionism can come in all shapes and sizes throughout your life. Perfectionism may have been a younger you who always pulled out a ruler to draw straight lines for every homework assignment. For your present day overachieving self who needs to quadruple check your work emails before hitting send. Although perfectionism may seem like a perfect trait to have, the reality of being a perfectionist is far less ideal than it seems on the surface. So what exactly is perfectionism? Brown University defines perfectionism as a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviours aimed at reaching excessively high unrealistic goals. And according to them, it's highly likely that perfectionists developed this trait from having learned early in life that other people valued them because of their achievements. Perfectionists are often critical of themselves and seek validation so often due to the fear of failure, mistakes and disapproval by their inner circle in society. You are more concerned about all that is still left to do and all that has not been completed. This vicious cycle of chasing after unattainable and being obsessed with rigid self-imposed standards is highly damaging as you are trapped in an unending effort to feel worthy. Procrastination. It's the end of the week and you're looking at your to-do list. Important emails? Check. Reviewed your peers' project work? Check. Schedule those important meetings, appointments and check-ins? Check. Check. And check. You think you're done and ready to call it a day but then there it is. The big project that's due tomorrow which you've been putting off for a whole week. If this sounds like you, you're definitely not alone. We all procrastinate from time to time. However, if you find yourself developing this as a habit that is affecting your productivity then there's a chance it'll start affecting your well-being. Procrastination as defined by McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate, is a self-defeating behavior pattern marked by short-term benefits and long-term costs. It's when you put things off knowing it'll be difficult to complete the task so close to the deadline. According to a 2014 study on procrastination featured in the Individual Differences Association Journal, 20-25% of adults around the world are chronic procrastinators, an issue that can be linked to more serious mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression and ADHD. So basically, continuing to put that one thing off your to-do list can cause more harm than good, leading to poor mental and physical health in the long term. Overworking yourself. In the growing hustle culture of today's society, we often compromise work and school life balance in an effort to reach greater heights of success. It can be hard to walk away from your workspace when there seems to be so much more left to do, but working long hours is not the way to go. A recent study conducted by the International Labour Organization and the World Health Organization has found that working more than 55 hours a week can lead to health problems such as stroke, reoccurring chest pain and coronary artery disease. Psychologist Adam Borland, PSYD explains the issue further stating, We're expecting ourselves to perform physically and cognitively on such a high level, but in reality, our reserves are tapped out. Think about it, how long would you be able to keep going if your car was low on gas? Not too far. It's crucial to take breaks before your body starts giving you no choice but to do so. Passive aggressiveness. Have you ever asked a team member to take care of a task for you or a family member to help you with the chore you can't get to? Just to have them respond with a sarcastic remark or mutter something under their breath? If you've ever sensed someone's bubbling frustration, masked by a questionably nice attitude, chances are they're being passive aggressive toward you. As the Mayo Clinic explains, passive aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. They'll typically be a disconnect between what a passive aggressive person says and does. You may agree to do something for someone, but rather than following through with the usual enthusiasm, you express bitterness and resistance in opposition to the demands. This can have more consequences when it's used as a response to anyone in a position of authority or in situations where cooperation is needed for success. Passive aggressiveness is an extremely toxic and unproductive attitude that can interfere with relationships through growing resentment, hostility and discord. Codependency. Mental health America explains codependency as an emotional and behavioral condition where a person forms or maintains relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and or abusive. A significant factor that can influence an individual's likelihood of being codependent can include growing up in a dysfunctional family where members can suffer from pain, shame, fear or anger that is ignored or denied with these concerns not being confronted or talked about. If you are exposed to such an environment, you learn to develop coping mechanisms to ignore, deny and avoid your own emotions and develop fast emotional attachments to anyone that shows you the type of love or care you didn't receive when you needed it the most. Codependency often leads to one person carrying the pressure in a relationship where they are sacrificing their needs in the interest of others' health, safety and well-being. It is harmful from both sides and leaves an individual losing contact with their own sense of self. Social avoidance or withdrawal. Loneliness is something everyone deals with from time to time, whether moving away from home or grieving a loss of a loved one or experiencing a breakup. According to the American Psychological Association, these are known as reactive loneliness as it's a direct effect of a life change someone's faced with. However, chronic loneliness and social withdrawal is an epidemic that has significantly impacted the world in recent years, especially since the pandemic hit. Chronic loneliness is the effect of social avoidance due to a number of factors which the APA describes as when individuals don't have the mental or emotional ability or resources to satisfy social needs. As social creatures, we thrive on human connection and even need it to survive. A 2019 study led by Cassandra Alcaraz, a public researcher with the American Cancer Society, found that social isolation increases the risk of premature death with the magnitude of health risks being concerningly similar to that of smoking, lack of physical activity and obesity. Social avoidance, isolation and withdrawal can severely impact your quality of life, leading to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety through raised stress levels and poor sleep. Excessive regret. Have you ever wished you took a different route in life? Perhaps something that all goes back to a single decision you have made in the past. This feeling of remorse known as regret is a real reaction to a disappointing event in your life and something you cannot take back or change. It can last for as short as a day, two months, years and even as long as a lifetime. Regret is a normal feeling but being stuck regretting something for a long period of time and not being able to move forward can take quite the serious toll on your mental and physical health. As licensed clinical psychologist at the University of Virginia School of Medicine, Jennifer Kim Penberty explains, dealing with regret is even more difficult because of the other negative emotions connected to it. Remorse, sorrow and helplessness. Regret can increase our stress, negatively affect physical health and throw off the balance of hormones and immune systems. Regret is not only unpleasant, it is unhealthy. It is crucial to accept regret as a complex emotion, allowing yourself to learn from the experience to ultimately come out the other side feeling more confident. Inaction of excessive regret only leads to a deeper sense of helplessness and distress. If you have experienced any of the behaviors above, know that there's always room for growth and using the opportunity to grow for the better is the first step to getting there. We all have our fair amount of flaws and struggles, some weaknesses we can see right before our eyes while others unveil themselves when we least expect them. All you need is to know when to watch for the signs and recognize unhelpful behaviors or thoughts you may be having. You deserve to love and be the best version.