 Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss materials, as you can see, and it's about it. It's pretty simple. That said, this is a really fun game. It's very high energy. The pacing is great. This is made by Konami back in the old days. 1991 is when this was made. Let's get going here. I've got this set up where I can play as each character here. Smithers, for some reason, is robbing a jewelry store for a big ass diamond. Maggie catches it in her mouth. Apparently that's a good enough pacifier for her, for some reason. I don't know why Smithers would be stealing a freaking diamond. I don't know. Maybe he wants to impress Mr. Burns, but then again Mr. Burns appears to be behind this whole plot here, whatever it may be. This is a really fun game. It's got all sorts of fun little arcade kitchiness to it, like Mario. Like Marge getting pressed up against the screen there. Let's see if I can hit someone with this. Marge has got her trusty vacuum cleaner. Let's see if I can hit the freaking dorky ass Martin Prince. Apparently not. We do run away appropriately though. I'm lucky enough to live in an area here in Albuquerque, where we have a bar in downtown Albuquerque called Sister. They had this game, the four-player cabinet, for a short period of time. My girlfriend and I both took $2 worth of quarters each to try and beat it. We got to the second to last level, so I have beaten this game before. There's not much to it, etc. To beat them up, it's not that exhilarating or anything like that. It's just a good time. With beat them up, it's all about pacing and not knowing what to expect next and that sort of thing. The sound of Marge's vacuum, that squeaking cartoon sound effect. You know, when I did the X-Men, let's play. You know, people talked about the Colossus scream being a summoning horn for everybody. They have X-Men because I can hear the Colossus. Well, this is kind of the same deal where if you hear that cartoony squeaking sound, I can't do it. But if you hear that, you knew there was an arcade nearby and it had at least one good game. So yeah, this game had its own summoning horn, so to speak. But yeah, we are chasing Mr. Smithers, Waylin Smithers, who is now floating away in a hit button. Good idea. Big time. I think that just gets you extra live or something. I don't know. But yeah, if the typical, wow, I won by one. If the typical, yeah, if the typical Simpsons stuff here looks a little different and if you don't recognize a lot of the enemies or characters here, that's because some of them were seriously just made up for this game. Like whoever this guy is. Oops, didn't mean to do that. But yeah, this game was made in 1991. I think it was March 91. At least that's when it came out in North America. And so yeah, this would have come out in the middle of season two for the Simpsons. So yeah, that's how quickly this became a hit. It was the middle of season two and you're already getting like a high-profile developer like Konami. Hey, I can't grab this. What the hell? There's Marvin Monroe, psychiatrist at large. He was a big part of the first couple seasons and then he was just kind of forgotten about after that. But yeah, this would have come out, I think season two ended in sometime in, I don't know, September, I think? Or no, it ended sometime in May or something like that. So this came out smack dab season two. So yeah, they must have already been making this as season two was still in production. The TV show itself started in December of 89. Whoa, what the heck? I don't know when the Tracy Ullman show clip aired, but the Simpsons, the first episode aired in December of 89. So they can just barely get away with saying it spans however many decades, even though it's a matter of weeks, but whatever. But yeah, back then, the TV show, people talk about the glory days of the Simpsons and season two is definitely the beginning of that. Season one is a bit rougher on the edges, at least for my taste. There's still some laughs and some funny stuff, but it's kind of weird to watch now because it's like Mr. Burns is practically a regular cast member. He's in every episode seemingly, which is kind of weird. I think they wanted him to be the bad guy every week, but instead, the Simpsons grew to be like this big thing. It's funny, you'd think that would be like a power-up, but instead it's something you throw. I should really be utilizing the jump more often because that's what I do with the actual arcade, but instead I'm playing this any way I can. I should mention the home ports very quickly. Yeah, this game did get home ports, and none of them were to any home consoles. No Super Nintendo, no NES, no Sega Genesis, no TurboGrafx, but instead it got ports on Commodore 64 and DOS, and they're both pretty bad. They're both choppy and goofy and just not good. All right, here we got our second boss fight, and it's this, it's uh, what do they call him? Oh, it's Dancin' Pete, or Handsome Pete, or Dancing Pete. I can't remember. What the fuck? I think it's Dancing Pete from when Crusty takes on an alias. Okay, let's play as Homer, and Homer just uses his fists like a brute in a cool-looking jump kick. In fact, for some reason I think his jump kick is a lot better than Marge's. Marge's is a bit quicker, but Homer seems to do a little more damage, I think. Yeah, I believe all the original voices, Dan, Castle, and Edo, I can't say his name right, but yeah, Nancy Cartwright, all those folks are all here in this game, I believe. God, this guy is like making me eat all sorts of quarters. It's hard to play, even to beat him up, it's hard to play and do this at the same time, and now he falls and he dies. It would have been a funny touch if he bounced along the cliff, like when he tried to skateboard over the canyon in that one episode from season three. Yeah, anyway, like I was saying, the glory days of the Simpsons, as people call them, are called as such because they had an amazing riding staff back then. Starting with contributors with guys like Brad Bird, who of course became a famous director later on, and oh god, I hate these frogs. Oh, does that take away life when I do that? I forgot. Ah, screw you. Who else did they have? I remember David Isaacs was part of the Simpsons for a little bit. I don't think he did a whole lot, but he wrote for Mash, he wrote for Cheers, he wrote for Frazier. He was always a very good TV writer. And of course Conan O'Brien showed up in season four, and he wrote some of the very best episodes ever, like Homer Goes to College, A Marge vs. the Monorail. I think the one where Bart has a crush on the on Pastor Lovejoy's daughter, I think he did that one too. I can't remember. But yeah, just the writing back then was just head and shoulders above anything else on TV. I think I maintain that's what made the Simpsons so much fun was because it was, it really was different in that it wasn't coasting on the novelty of like, oh, it's a cartoon, but for adults. And it's not like the Flintstones either. This is like more than a sitcom. It became, you know, like, oh, with animation we can do all sorts of other stuff that we couldn't normally otherwise. And they really took advantage of that. And the show was a lot of fun from day one, at least especially for me. I didn't get every reference, I didn't get every joke. But the stuff I did get, I laughed really hard at. Especially, you know, since we're in the Halloweeny, you know, this ghoulish environment, the Treehouse of Horror episodes were absolutely must watch, appointment viewing. My girlfriend still talks about to this day she missed out on Trick or Treating deliberately. She skipped Trick or Treating one year so she could stay home and watch Treehouse of Horror. This would have been like 94, 95, something like that. So it was just so she could, I think that year was like the Shinnon, the Simpsons Parody of the Shining, which really, which holds up today as one of my favorite episodes ever. Let's see, what are some of my other favorite Simpsons episodes? You can't go wrong with Last Exit to Springfield. That's one where Homer unknowingly or, you know, kind of bumbles his way into becoming a Union Leader for all the workers at the Power Plant. That one is just like one laugh-out-loud joke after another. I love that episode. I think everybody loves that episode. And of course, there's like Hank Scorpio is a really funny one. You gotta love that. And of course, the discussion has to come up like, oh, the Simpsons used to be so great. What happened? What went wrong? And every, you know, everybody's got their own cutoff point to when it started to, you know, to slip a little. For me, it's Season 10 is when it stopped being like every episode being must watch and it was every other episode. Then it was every third episode and then it was one out of every six or seven episodes. And one reason I don't hear a whole lot of people talk about is is just the voice acting that really went south. They started to phone it in. I really believe that. But, you know, like, oh, anything I say is funny. Okay, then I'll just, who are these people? Not a clue who these folks are. Yeah, I could really use a second player here. That would be ideal. Oh, that reminds me, if you do have a second player, at least one other player, you can do combination moves between the two between the two characters, which is always fun. Any sort of interactivity between two characters. All right, let us move on to Bart and he hits people with this skateboard. And he's interesting because he's a bit smaller. So he's a little harder to hit. He's easier to hide. Was there ever a Simpsons fighting game? Don't answer that. I honestly don't know if there was like a one-on-one fighting game between. Yeah, I guess the Simpsons universe can lend itself to like a lot of different games. It could be, you know, a game like this. It could be like a, you know, one of those like card games, like versus card, like almost like a Magic the Gathering type thing where you've got your rules and all that sort of shit. Anyway, yeah, this game came in two cabinets. There was a two-player one. There was a four-player one. Good stuff. And I think this game actually was available for a short time on Xbox Live Arcade and the PlayStation Network, but like several years ago it got taken down. I think it was up there for like just a little bit, but maybe a few months, maybe a year. And then it just mysteriously vanished. I don't know. I guess Konami maybe plays hardball with these with these kind of properties. I think there was like a quote-unquote remake of the Simpsons Arcade, but it's like one-player only and it's just, damn it. It's just not that good and it doesn't have the same charm, whereas this has the goofy pixel art. Hey, there's Moe. Yeah, Flaming Moe is another great episode. And at Aerosmith, I remember seeing that one when it first aired. That was a lot of fun. I was a huge Aerosmith fan when I was growing up. So, love that. Good stuff. Oh, gotta get this slingshot over here. Yeah, there's plenty of weapons in this game. Can I pick that up or no? There we go. Yeah, who are these guys? Who's this guy? Okay, I think, yeah, Bleeding Gum's Murphy. And I want to say like he was a big part of the first couple seasons, too. Not a big part, but he was in more than one episode, I think. All right, I think I can throw this, but I have to run out of this stuff first. What does this guy think he is? Koomlao with throwing his hat? Ooh, check it out. Aliens. Simpsons. Aliens was another Konami game, although that is not the same aliens. I'm gonna play some Simpsons. Yo, Doug, you like Simpsons? Well, now you can play Simpsons in your systems. Here we got a Crap Stable roulette wheel. Actually, that's just a roulette wheel. That's not a Crap Stable. That's just the roulette setup. Yeah, a lot of unrecognizable characters here. Who's asleep back there? Is that Barney? Oh, no. This is the next boss. Whoever this guy is. Drunk guy. I forget what Lisa uses. Does she use her saxophone? Or what? I don't know. Yeah, Simpsons was a pretty regular part of my childhood. I watched it any time it was on, any time the reruns were on. Another one of my favorite episodes was the parody of Rear Window, where Bart breaks his leg. They get a pool. It has a fine barn, but it is no pool-ish. Or no, it has a fine barn-ish, but it is no pool. Do it! And yeah, Bart ends up breaking his arm. Hang on a second. Oh, there we go. My thing came undone. Oh, yeah, since I have both, I didn't realize I could do that. Hey, we can play this multiplayer, but it's the same freaking player doing the same thing. Okay, so I could conceivably play this with all four players. I'll do that later. I didn't even realize I could do that. By the way, here in Albuquerque, I'm recording this on a Wednesday and it's just snowing. This is like the fourth day out of the last five that it snowed. We're in the middle of February. I'm not used to this. It's not what I moved down here for. Anyway, yeah, what was I saying? Rear window parody. And then Bart turns it in. Marge says he's turning isolated and weird. And he starts writing a play and all this sort of stuff. It's like, hey, that sounds familiar. I remember when I was a kid, when I got really overly isolated and weird, it was... I started doing stuff like I would try and invent my own Magic the Gathering card system. And of course it had to be all fantasy-based. It wasn't anything special. It wasn't anything unique, that's for sure. But I would take note cards and do these crappy old drawings on them and come up with spells and come up with status ailments and all this other crap. All in all, it was really bad. It wasn't really worth it, but it was fun to make. It was fun to invent something like that. All right, let's get to... Yeah, actually, let's bring... Let's get Homer in here. I think my main character is Lisa. Because when I try and control this, Homer... Okay, now I control it. There we go. Yeah, anybody else out there listening or watching, let me know what your weird little projects were like that you haven't... You don't tell anybody else about them. You just work on them because they're fun. That's like what Bart had going on in that episode where he was like... He was going to force Lisa to listen to his play or whatever it was. And it's just tacky and dumb. And he's doing all the accents and the voices and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, mine was to try and invent a Magic the Gathering type thing. Hey, there's the three-eyed fish. That was a big thing from the early seasons. Was that season one or season two? I want to say that was season one. Yeah, in my opinion, the show didn't get really good until season three. That's when it was just like every single episode has at least three or four laugh out loud funny gags. Now we got squirrels that are all... Now we got Sideshow Bob. Can I get this? I can, nice. And Lisa got it. Do I fight Sideshow Bob? No, I do not. I wonder if Flanders appears in this game or no. I don't remember if he does or not. Okay, now we fight a bear. Okay, sure. Yeah, I remember my girlfriend and I, when we played this at the bar, we just used right through this part. So I don't really remember this. Let's get Marge in there. Yeah, I can only have two players at the same time, unfortunately. I'm trying to get everybody else in, but it's not working. Yeah, it's just a battle of attrition. You just, I don't care about the falling rocks or anything like that. I just want to fucking on with the game, please. That's how most beat-ups end up anyway. Except for stuff like Final Fight or, you know, other stuff like stuff that actually where you can actually do moves and there's actual movesets and stuff like that. Oh, there goes Maggie. The waterfall reminds me of when the cops are after Millhouse for some reason and they trap Millhouse at the end of the waterfall. And I didn't do anything because the Tommy Lee Jones, I don't care. I'm not the fugitive. The fact that it's Millhouse always cracked me up. So, you know, what the hell is this and what does it have to do with the Simpsons? It's really weird. Can I bring Homer back? I think I didn't take coins. Oh, Bart's in there. Okay. And here we've got donuts and it's like a cloud world. We've got Marge. I don't know. This is very strange. Everything's in black and white. I'm somehow controlling two players. It's an LP. I'm being lazy instead of making a video. So just bear with me. You can shut the door if you want. Okay, so this is kind of a boring stage. Can I throw these? I can. Now we've got nuclear power plant workers that lose their heads and basically fall apart like Lego figures. If you hit them too much, it's just like, what is this? I don't know. If this follows any kind of structure that's reminiscent of the show, let me know. I don't know what any of this is. The thing is though, is that the art style is so spot on and the colors are so spot on. You know, it's got the Simpsons theme and all that and it's got the fact that you can play that player one is Barth and all that sort of stuff is perfect or player one is Marge rather and like each player is a different Simpsons character. It was a really good touch. And yeah, anything that makes fun of old people, you know, I'm 38 now. Gonna be 39 soon. So anything that makes fun of old people, I'm okay. Now we fight a giant bowling ball. Okay, yeah, because that's the natural conclusion here. Yeah, anything that makes fun of old people I'm all in on and the Simpsons does an awesome job making fun of old people with Mr. Burns and his musty old references and all that sort of stuff. And of course, so I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Give me five bees for a quarter, they'd say all that sort of stuff. I mean, okay, now we're getting into like Perotius territory, like what I guess Konami just can't help themselves when it comes to certain stuff like no, we can't have typical beat them up bosses. We got to have a bowling ball with, you know, a radiator for teeth and other balls for arms. Just die. And it shoots bowling palm missiles. Why wouldn't it? Can it please be over? It's more fun to play as Bart Lisa, I think. It feels like they're a little bit quicker. I'm just kind of stuck over here. What forms does this thing have? It'd be cool if I could get Bart in on the action. There we go. It's just kind of meandering around. And finally, apparently there was supposed speaking of animated TV shows, there was supposed to be a Beavis and Butthead arcade game that was kind of sorted in a similar vein to this game. But the exception was that it was on some kind of like CD hardware or something like that. It had a really strange hardware setup. Three player and four player. That was easy. Did they tie or what? 84. Damn. Channel six news, Kent Brockman and the eye in the sky, whatever that Ernie Pyle Ernie Pie. I forget his name. Anyway, hopefully we'll see Kent Brockman here shortly. Yeah, see, there's it's at this point where it's like I kind of wish there was a little more variety in this game. But at the same time, I really appreciate all the different settings, visiting different parts of the Simpsons universe, even if, you know, I don't recognize who these people are. But still, it's still fun. Yeah, I like the Maggie Mr. Burns on the TV in the background there is a nice touch. We got Kung Lao Simpsons Edition back here. Kung Lao Moons. Yeah, some of my, you know, I don't do a lot of good impressions, but some of mine are two of my best are from the Simpsons. The first one, of course, is Barney Gumbel. Where, you know, that's that's where I get the SNES drunk. Oh, SNES drunk. That sounds like a terrible name. You know, that's not that good of a one put on the spotlight, put putting myself on the spot like that. SNES drunk. But that's where that kind of came from. Because saying the acronym SNES, like a word, sounds makes you sound like drunk. Who's the most prolific drunk in pop culture? To me, it's Barney Gumbel. Ooh, I forgot about this thing. Since we're in a TV studio, we fight TV people, TV characters made for TV things. Reminds me of that robot from Futurama whose name I'm drawing a blank on at the moment. But yeah, the other the other impression I do from the Simpsons, of course, it's Auto Man. You know, the guitars are like double guitars, you know. All right. You know, I used to do a lot better one. I do it better in the morning when my voice is a lot deeper. What? He's not the boss? So let me think. What are the only other impression that I do that I that I think is kind of funny is Harry Carey. But I kind of have to hold my nose for that one. So I'll wait a bit here till I get an opportunity to do that. Okay. Harry Carey here is having another beach monage. That's the extent of that. Flaming Fosu is the box here. That's my Harry Carey. So Harry Carey, Barney Gumbel and Auto. Those are like the only impressions that I can do. Can't really do Mr. Burns. When I was going through puberty, I could do Beavis pretty well. The Beavis laugh especially, but then the rest of puberty happened and now I can't do it as well. Oh, I can also do the dude in the Simpsons who the pimple-faced teenager with whose voice is always cracking. Here's your taco, sir. You know, that guy. That's another one. And I guess the nerd voice that people are asking me to do. I do it all the time on the podcast. I stole it blatantly from my girlfriend. It's kind of her thing. But are these power-ups? Yeah, the nerd voice is a combination between one of Martin Prince's friends and the older kid. I don't know how to describe him. He's like a math nerd. But it's like a cross between him and Professor Frink. Basically, that's what I'm saying. Well, actually, it should be obvious to me, you know, the most, the biggest moron, the most, the most dim-witted person that the Simpsons arcade game is one of the very best beat-em-ups ever developed on the arcade platform. It should be obvious, you know. And if you don't believe that, then you don't have valid opinion on anything that's ever existed. Because if you don't believe that, then how can you be trusted to believe anything? What the hell is this boss? I don't remember any of this. It's been a long time since I've played this. I just kind of spur of the moment decided to go for it. I don't know how long this video will be, actually. I have no idea how long it is right now. But who is this character? They do look strangely familiar. Some kind of ninja master dude. But yeah, I feel like doing the last few, you know, the next couple levels and nothing but your voice. When I talk about the hit detection in this game, I really do believe that this game is, you know, you're doing yourself a disservice if you're not playing this game. It's pretty obvious. If you don't play the Simpsons arcade game, you're not getting the full Simpsons experience. You can't call yourself a real Simpsons fan. You're just cheating yourself and as a result, you're cheating everybody else. We fall victim to your own ignorance. You know, you're subjecting everybody to your ignorance when you should just stay out of the way and let the real fans be real fans. I don't know. I'm just, who the hell are you? Exactly. I just said that. Boy, it is snowing really bad outside here. Holy cow. Oh, there goes Smithers. Get him. I remember. Okay, this is about how far we got in the bar. I think we got to the power plant. But after that, it was tough times. I used to do a pretty good Mr. Burns, but that kind of went by the wayside too. Smithers. Smithers. That doesn't sound like him at all. Okay, so we must have gotten, I don't remember. Yeah, we didn't get this far at the bar. God, this is like not Mr. Smith. This is like way before they fleshed out the character of Wayland Smithers. Interesting. That sound dial will be useless coming up with this Smithers line from over the years. Did I get him? How come he's not flashing like a Ninja Turtles villain like everybody else here? Anyway, yeah, this is pretty much just an excuse to talk. Simpsons to show off this entire game and exploit the fact that I can play two-player even though it's just me. Look at all those CRT TVs in the background. All these. Give me those TVs. Again, that does not sound like Mr. Burns at all. It sounds closer to freaking a character from Violent Storm or something. They got all the voices for the Simpsons family, which is cool. I keep getting distracted by it's snowing sideways outside. This is, I mean, I live in Albuquerque. It's ridiculous. All right. Boy, that skateboard can sure take a lot of abuse. I think it would snap in half by now or something. All right, let's see if I can. All right, he's going to grow tank treads. Yeah, all of a sudden it's Armored Warriors. Another awesome game, by the way. Really fun one. It's part of the Capcom beat-em-up bundle. Does anybody still play the Capcom beat-em-up bundle online by any chance? Because I'd love to play that with somebody, but I have it on Steam. But the lobbies are usually pretty barren. If I run into anybody playing it, it's usually Battle Circuit, the crazy weird unreleased game. Which, you know, that's the more popular one because, number one, it's really insane. And number two, it was never released. So, you know, people are pretty curious about that one. But when it comes to stuff like Armored Warriors and Final Fight, I'd rather play that stuff. Even what is the Warriors of Fate or something like that? I think it's called. I forget what the feudal Japan one is called. Let's see if I can line them up here. There we go. Uh-oh. Lisa's almost out of... Oh, actually, that's cheating and you're cheating yourself. You didn't learn any lessons. Like, yes, because that's the only reason people play video games, is to better themselves or whatever. People can't just shoot the shit and just have fun and dork around and do nothing and relax. Everything needs to be a personal challenge. Otherwise, you cheat yourself. You didn't improve. You didn't gain anything. It's a shooting nuclear bombs at me. Geez, a little reckless, don't you think? Gotta be close to the end here, I think. How many forms is this for Mr. Burns? Let's go say he's not moving, but gotta be close to the end here. Running out of things to say here. There we go. Oh, now it's just him. Oh, there's Maggie. Can I move? No, I can't. Much better. Oh, wait, he put the past fire and... or she put the past fire in his mind. So, yeah. Yeah, I just wanted to show off this game. I think this does a better job rather than do a two-minute video, because that's all it would be, is just being like, yeah, it's the freakin' Simpsons arcade game. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of craziness. You never know what's gonna come next. It's four-player compatible. Even if you're... You can even rig it like I just did and inadvertently play two-players. Yeah, I love this game. A lot of good memories, and you could still make more memories since this game. It's not a common arcade cabinet, but it's a popular one. It's in-demand, wouldn't be surprised if it's still, you know, out there somewhere. So maybe post-pandemic, you can go looking for this one. It's a lot of fun. And if you can't find an arcade, you can always, you know, play it any way you can. All right, I want to thank you for watching, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. Cheers!