 What's up you guys today? We're gonna be talking about one of the most important things when it comes to getting girls seduction And that's approach anxiety getting nervous before you talk to a girl getting scared If you can't handle if you can't manage this first step, you're not gonna be able to practice You're not gonna be able to get good at all So it's really important that you learn how to manage this in your life and really Everybody deals with this issue and that's why this video is so long now in this video You're gonna find a lot of tips a lot of the things that have helped us get over approach anxiety And get good. I got my buddy Chris Nova in here. I got evil stifler two guys that know exactly what they're talking about They got a lot of experience They're very successful when it comes to single life and getting girls and so what they have to say is Really important on this subject now I'm don't expect you to pay attention the entire time because it's such a long video, but during it We're gonna be giving you tips We're gonna give you things that I've helped us So if you have it in the background if you have it while you're on Facebook Or maybe while you're at work or doing something like that and you pick up one or two tips while that while we're talking That's the way to do it. So without further ado, let's get right into the video All right What's up you guys so we're gonna talk about a topic that a lot of people talk about and it's because it's extremely important Basically, I'm gonna say this right now your ability to succeed to do well with women to improve is dictated by your ability to handle your approach anxiety because there's a lot of people with titles like you know Cure your approach anxiety for good never get approach anxiety again. I see videos with titles like these Anyone who's telling you this sort of stuff is Lying okay, you're never gonna be able to get rid of your approach anxiety completely It's always going to be there. You have to face your fears. There's no magic bullet. There's no secret recipe There's no cheat code to getting over your insecurities to pushing your boundaries to going up and talking to a girl Okay, even me even Chris Nova here even guys like evil stifler where we've done this, you know hundreds thousands of times like we still Get nervous. Okay, it's not like we're just completely immune to all those all the regular stuff that people have to deal with The difference is is we actually we don't bitch out. No all the time But we get over it we face our fears and we actually start doing it And it's important to understand that as Lloyd said You're going to be dealing with this no matter what like we've hooked up with hundreds of women and yet we still have this This still comes up So what what you want to do is you want to understand that this is going to be something that's gonna come up for you And you want to Find a bunch of different things that you can basically add as like tools in your arsenal to overcome this So that's what we've done yourself the question like why you're doing this Okay, because if you don't face your fears and if you don't accept the fact that you need to take action You're not gonna get better. It's not gonna happen. So what you need to get over this is you need leverage Okay, there's a reason why people got into this sort of stuff is the reason why people talk about success with women There's a reason people talk about pickup and for me at least dude It like I come from a place where it was like I wasn't having a whole lot of success through high school and college I'm like Chris here who killed it in high school in college. I wasn't getting a whole lot of girls So I was terrible in middle school So I have a lot of leverage man I remember going to class seeing all those hot girls that wouldn't give me the time of day I remember seeing all of like the guys that I hated growing up hooking up with all of these girls and me getting nothing I remember all of those things and so every time I got approaching anxiety every time I was nervous I would remind myself of those horrible things that I would not No matter what how much money you paid me I would not go through that again In fact at the time I was so committed to learning this that I was gonna like I was I was basically prepared I was gonna learn this I was gonna push myself and do everything I could to change it or I would rather die trying I would rather die. Yeah, I would rather die than be living as pathetic and as a much of a loser As I felt like I was at that period of time in college So you have to ask yourself if your leverage isn't enough and I'm not saying you have to go as hardcore as I was back Then but if your pain is there and your pain is is is fierce You need to find a way to solve it and it's not going to be easy It's going to take facing your fears It's going to take pushing yourself to that next level now There are things that you can do to get not to get rid of your approaching anxiety But to tone it down and actually before that's a perfect segue right before you go into that Yeah, I think it's really important Everything Lloyd said is on point and it's really important to before we go into the different strategies Techniques and techniques that you can use to start to tone it down as he said and to overcome approach anxiety What you want to do is you want to take that pain your feeling and you want to use that as your why? Because when you know what you want in life and why you want it It's incredibly fucking powerful and you're gonna get what the fuck you want So you want to take that feeling of that of that feeling all that pain you feel don't Don't like put it to the side. Don't pretend it's not there use it harness it leverage it So that you can use it as fuel To add to the fire so that you can get what it is that you want I mean what Chris is saying is just absolutely golden. I mean that was really the difference I think that separate because there was a lot of guys in my position There's a lot of guys that weren't really like, you know, they weren't really succeeding in their goals They weren't really doing what they wanted to do and because they didn't step up and they didn't take action They didn't get better But my leverage was was I knew my leverage was bigger than them And I knew my why was more concrete and more secure than theirs And that's why no matter what happened no matter how bad things got which you will embarrass yourself You are gonna encounter situations where you don't look good like it's most of the time It's not gonna end well and for you to get over that stuff for you to truly push yourself You need to have leverage. Okay, so let's go into the tactics So one of the things that I like to do that I think really helps right off the bat is first of all Get a guy to go out with you get get a wing get someone to go Oh, yeah, I mean me being by myself and doing this and going up and talking to girls like it's It sucks man, you know It's infinitely better infinitely easier to have a buddy there to have a guy who's got your back And if you can't find somebody you can go online RSD nation has like people out there that you can search for just having a guy even if he's not even if he's not good Even even if he's totally miscalibrated It's better than being by yourself just to have a guy to bounce ideas off of to come back to having like a Little bit of a safe base like I would love especially in the beginning phases where you're you're really dealing with stuff for the first time It just acts as kind of like a support network to have at least one other guy there with you so that no matter what happens If the night seems to go badly you you still have that kind of that buffer of that other friend there with you Yeah, absolutely. I mean I would look forward to actually going out with Chris and going talking to girls But I wouldn't look forward to it Yeah, we're gonna have to continue that so more and more more cool stories coming up Okay, so and then the second thing that I would that I would say is a stop thinking like 10 steps ahead So a lot of times guys when they walk up and they talk to a girl They start already thinking about like oh, what am I gonna say next? What what's like the next move to be able to? Take her back to my food. They're already thinking about These sorts of awkward situations that they're gonna get in and it's good to visualize It's good to handle the objections ahead of time, but if you don't Focus on the fact that all you're doing is you're walking up and you're talking to a girl that you don't know If you focus on a bunch of million other things you're gonna freak yourself out You're gonna like you're gonna give get yourself paralysis by analysis. You're gonna you're not gonna do it You're gonna over rationalize just focus on like if you can't do anything Dude, just focus on walking up and asking for the time or just just something really basic So you can get that out of the way um small goals Anxiety can come from a lot of anxiety comes from thinking about things that aren't happening in the present moment And actually this reminds me of something very valuable. I learned that I'll share with you guys Which is the word fear, which is actually an acronym so fear, right? You're afraid. What is fear false evidence appearing real false evidence appearing real? Yeah, so you like that so I heard that for a while for sure So what that means and what we're getting at is you're afraid of something because you're Visualizing something that's either in the past or you're thinking of something that's might happen in the future But you're not usually feeling fear for the most part in the present moment So if you can bring yourself back to the present moment and you could focus on just the next thing that you can do What's the next step you can take so if you're approaching a girl or woman and you are Feeling afraid of doing that just focus literally you're like dude What do I have to do all I have to do is actually focus on just going up and talking to her That's there's nothing else happening. I'm just going up and talking to a girl So once you do that and you're like fuck I can just whatever I can say anything I can use an opinion opener. I can go up and I could just I could say hey, what's up? I could be like, ah, well you could do whatever it is as long as you realize that that's all you're doing is just going up And and our very fluffy dog. Just walked up. What's up, Mr. Wolf? He's beautiful half husky wolf dog when you just realize that that's all you're doing is just going up and just Opening that's all it is and so it becomes a lot less scary. So hopefully you can you can integrate that and use it Okay, cool. So that's one thing I would start Don't think ten steps ahead start with the first basic point Which is that you're just walking up you're saying how you're talking to a girl and then on top of that I would also add start with small wins, okay? I think you gotta give yourself some small wins if you think that okay I've never approached a girl So I'm gonna go to the hottest club in Miami and I'm gonna start trying to talk to girls there You're gonna have a tough time man. These girls are not gonna want to talk to you They're gonna blow you out. I have something that will be really helpful here and that is the idea of Systematic desensitization, and I think we've covered this we may or may not have covered this in other videos But this is something that I want to talk about it that I've covered in another video On my on my channel, but basically this is a really powerful idea and that is of System this is a really powerful idea and that is systematic Desensitization, so what does that mean? What is systematic desensitization? It means that you are progressively systematically desensitizing yourself to things that would otherwise cause you discomfort, so It means moving in increments one step after the other after the other after the other towards your goals as opposed to just making like a Quantum leap so for example instead of thinking that you're just gonna pull all these hot girls They're in a group at a nightclub, and you've never ever done You've never done anything you know you haven't just done that You haven't even been able to go up and say hi then what you want to do is you want to break all these things down into Microsteps so the what's an example of a microstep the first thing you might do is go up and ask a beautiful girl What the time is and then literally she said oh it's it's 335 and then you're then you can take that and you can run Away, you know and go back to you know your comfort zone the point is that you took one step Then what's the next thing you do after maybe asking what the time is you can ask her How her day is going so then you go up you're like, ah, okay Hey, do you know what time it is and then they tell you she's like oh, yeah, it's 335 and then you're saying oh cool Like what's your name by the way? It's like oh my name is Lisa and then you're like okay And then you go away the point is that each progressive time you are adding one sequential thing and by doing this in this way Using systematic desensitization you're gonna be able to progress from wherever you are to wherever you want to be far far faster Absolutely one trick that I used is I used to talk to like I would I would make conversation if we were at a restaurant I would make conversation with the waitress if I was at a store I would make conversation with like the person behind the checkout counter if I was getting a cup of coffee again making a Conversation these are these are kind of safe bases where like it's their job like they're at work Like they're gonna be nice to you. It's just like a little win that you can have they're like Oh, I just talked to a girl. I just talked to a stranger and I didn't shit my pants or like right nothing crazy Yeah, but you get you get kind of used to the fact that okay I can talk to a random girl who's a stranger and you once you get comfortable with that you prove yourself And so that once you're comfortable with doing that you can progress it to one step further and that's how it works That's how anybody in this game gets to be really good is by going from wherever they are to where they want to be by Just progressively sequentially moving along step-by-step. Yeah, and I would say if you've been doing this for a few months That's too long like you need you should already be done with your systematic desensitization Let's make that more specific. You should be done with it for as far as approach anxiety goes, right? Yeah, so you shouldn't be like when someone asks you hey, how's it going with girls? You should be like well, I'm still working on my approach anxiety. He's like, dude You've been going out for three months. You're still working on that like you haven't gone past the first stage Like you should you should be moving along a little more faster than that Usually when you First start out that's when you're gonna be you're gonna experience the most approach anxiety when you first go out when you first Like first girl that you talk to that first set whatever it is Usually that's the hardest thing to do the first two or three of those once you push through those then that usually gets a little bit Easier unless you get really really bad Reactions if you get really bad reactions what I like to do is I'll go talk to just anybody if they're at the Dude at the bar if it's a fascic whoever it is just to get into the social mode So I'm able to talk to people a little bit more easily and I think that's that's a good tactic to start out with Just talk to anyone dude like just when you first get out like just make a conversation with idle people like maybe while You're standing in line to the club or maybe if you're at the bar ordering your jink If there's just a couple guys next to you just say hey, what's up man? How's your night going get into that social mode once you find out that it's easy to talk to strangers in general You're gonna have a lot a lot of easier time talking to the hot girls or the girls that you are actually interested in talking to And you're not gonna have as much reproach anxiety again exactly again This is a really prime example of this idea of progressive Desensitization because you could think of many everything falls within this understanding So you go in you're you go into a bar You're in a club or something and you you're you're not feeling very social You don't really feel like talking to people and you particularly don't feel like talking to hot girls So what you want to do is you want to go up and you want to first talk to anybody? So exactly as Lloyd said talk to some guys talk to someone else in line Talk to a fat girl talk to whoever it is get yourself into that more social state and then Go up to your first group of girls or your first girl And again anything you can do to open is going to be great and just to kind of get yourself feeling more social and once you usually once you get through that first initial point you're going to Start at least feeling better and you're going to start seeing some success and it's going to create momentum for the rest of the night Yeah, absolutely So that's one technique that I use once you get in the social mode You actually there's a certain point where people call it like you know the rsd guys They call it in state right where you're just so on it You're feel like such a such a social mode that you don't you're not getting approach anxiety anymore You're just walking up and you're talking to girls pretty effortlessly Everything seems fine people want that to be the norm they want that why can't every night be like this when I got well It's not gonna be it only happens when you're when you're doing really well, okay? So when the going's good, it's good when it's bad It's bad and this is what we're helping you out with when it's bad But we're teaching you techniques that you can kind of jump start that in-state that sent you know systematic desensitization So you're being social and you're not actually getting nervous the next early after talk to you By the end of the night if you've been talking to ten or eleven girls usually the twelfth one isn't that hard unless Unless you're having a really bad night then the whole right the whole time It could be kind of a whole painful stretch But if you're having a good night no problem things are things are pretty easy. I would say that this as I go out more This is one thing that I don't do quite as much of as it used to when I first started out I was like I got to talk to the first people that I see when I get into the club Now I don't really do that I'll actually sit back show loud if I'm with the buddy. I'll just kind of talk to him But I can kind of turn it on whenever I don't know if you have this too We're like you can just kind of turn it on when you need to and Although I might get a little nervous before the first goal that I talked to as soon as I start talking. It's fine I feel I can turn it on too, but I actually I think that I Still find it very useful to be able to just start talking to people right away And I would say especially when you're starting out more towards the beginning You want to make it a habit in the tendency that you're going to start talking to pretty much anybody that you see when you start To see them it just it just goes better that way It takes a little bit longer to get to the point that Lloyd's talking about which is great that he's at But the point that you're like, okay, I don't need to talk to anybody. I'm just gonna turn it on You can do that you can certainly do that and get to that point But for the most part especially in the early phases you want to just start talking to anyone as soon as you get into a venue And again, this has been deemed what's called the three-second rule And there's a lot of validity to it because it just forces you to get into that state right away right from the get-go and Leaves no room for bullshit or for any fucking excuses to pop in your mind all right, so one of the things that we were talking about and with approach anxiety is Even the big man evil stiffler sometimes gets nervous, but one of the things that I like to do when I'm When I'm getting a little nervous when I'm out is I'll do like I'll just start talking to anyone really like I'll even if there's like a Fat chick a dude whoever I'll just start talking to somebody randomly and I'll do that at the beginning in that I think helps out a little bit with some of the nerves that you get at the beginning of the night What do you think about that? Well, I think that when we live our lives and we're at work, you know You talk to your work Your co-workers a little bit you talk to maybe say hi to somebody the coffee line But when we go out and it's a show some environment It's a different kind of conversation because you don't have anything to talk to them about Except for the fact that you're trying to fuck so When you know that that puts a whole different spin on the the approach of the conversation and This starting the conversation is is half the battle guaranteed But I think that Lloyd has a good, you know a good suggestion when you when you go out and talk to people See them like it's a random crowd of people Try and practice on them break into this is anybody's conversation And that way when you go to talk to some girls that are talking with each other It's you know, it's not as it's not as awkward for you in the beginning or you know there's always the other angle of not being a little bitch and Just walking up me and reducing yourself With your fucking hand out Yeah, that's a nice to meet you exactly and to stand there awkwardly with your hand out until they grab it Yeah, we've done deal We've been talking a lot about like how basically people are looking for this magical cure for approach anxiety that you're just not Going to get nervous that the cure is just not being a pussy There's really no way to like sugarcoat this it's going to be tough. Yeah, you might get rejected. Oh Well, you might make yourself. All right, so here's deal Let's say you know, you're gonna get rejected. Let's say that you guarantee you walk up for these two chicks They're gonna be like bye whatever. Fuck you, you know 100% that's gonna happen, right? It might happen, but you go in anyhow and you go in and you put your hand out and you introduce yourself and You get their names so hi always introduce yourself first never walk up to a girl I'm like, yo, what's your name? Because it's fucking it's it's so veneer so veneer stick and stupid. It's disrespectful. It's disrespectful always introduce yourself first Hey, how's it going? I'm James. Nice to meet you and And then they you know, they don't want to be awkward and rude or a stranger that just walked up to him said Hello to him, you know, unless you're like walking up and you smell like fucking dick cheese They're probably gonna say they're talking to you but they might shine you on for a second But that doesn't matter That's not the point of the exercise the point of the exercise is just to be able to go up and talk to them confidently and Be able to start a conversation so and end the conversation You know don't you know always have to hang out for very long you can introduce them say hey Oh, yeah cool around. Oh, hey, I'll be right back, you know And then they go the bathroom or like walk over to the to the to the bar Even if you don't have to do anything sometimes it's good to jump into a conversation Leave but the good impression let the girls talk it over for a second So you're not sitting there happen to impress them all the time and then come back in a minute after you go the bar to the Bathroom, even if you don't I need to get anything from the bar where the bathroom Just leave for a second and then come back and that gives you a little bit of space for them to decide if they like you But you'll have a better judgment on them and you'll also have a little more space to talk because You know, it's you don't look so thirsty. Yeah, exactly. So that's actually a good point I'm probably gonna do another video on this where it's like you kind of want to end all you want I kind of want to know when to end conversations like I like to end on a high And then maybe come back after a bunch of dudes have like tried their luck I haven't had haven't any success because you know the type of girl she is or whatever And then you come back later But what are some things that you like to do or do you want to comment on that? Oh, yeah, kind of I'm not saying like leave Malone long enough for some other dudes You come up and start talking to him if some other dudes do start coming up to talk to him And you can tell that they're not really feeling them Then you can come back in as a fucking cool guy and you can show them off Yeah, I'm just assuming that if you leave like if she's a hot girl like some dudes are just gonna run Yeah, no, and we're both we're both crept on this because If you leave and some dudes come back, you know, you know, they might fucking blow themselves out of the water But also at the same time like I'm saying you're gonna be able to come back in as a fresh perspective on there And you can tell you watch the body language if it looks like the guys are killing it You better go in you better go back and strong But if look the guys are kind of like me and the girls like you don't want to like act like a fucking Chode who's not coming back and talking to these two girls after you just had a good conversation with them because these other two fucking nerds are talking to her and Or the I assume this is a group of girls. I always picture two in my head What if you're out with a buddy, yes the best if you're alone if you're alone, it's good But yeah approach anxiety is something that you know It's half of the fucking game Yeah, what do you do so sometimes like we talked about this like we'll be well Even the two of us sometimes will be out and we'll be in bitch mode Like what's what's with some things that you do get yourself out of bitch mode? All right, so like let's say I went to go talk to some chicks and they totally tool me out Didn't go over well I'm not feeling that great. I've had a couple drinks. I thought I was feeling good But then I'm not you know or maybe you're not drinking it off But let's just say that you're going out and you and you had the normal bars or a club or whatever You talk to some girls and then like you eat your energy down from some depressing bitch Like not giving you the time of day or whatever. Yeah, or some like fucking random ugly girl talking shit to you When you're trying to hot rod her friend, you know, which is the fucking worst When you're just like why are you the fucking talking like you obviously just don't want your friend to have anybody else in Your life, but you because you're the only one that she hangs out with anyhow relationship Fatty and skinny went to bed fatty roll over and skinny was dead. Yeah. Yeah, it's a classic run They tell that to you in school. Yeah, I don't know man. Like I think that a lot of it is is me saying Fuck this. I don't know. It doesn't really matter to me because I don't let it sink in I don't take it to heart, you know, I find it amusing and some chicks that it sucks Like if she's hating on if you have a friend who's hating on you and her friend that kind of sucks But at the same time, it's just not the fucking end of the world, you know And there's gonna be plenty of friends out there The worst part is when one of your buddies comes up and fucks it up for you Like if you're hanging out with a group of your friends and there's a group of girls and like you bring over your friends You know, okay, these are my friends and you notice into their friends and then your friends fuck it up Yeah, and say some fucking creepy weird shit and then you're like, dude What the fuck do you say to her friend? And she was and then I asked I'll ask the girl like what my buddy's name is like she's fucking fat You know or like he said they fucking she looked poor or some fucking weird fucking shit like some random like cuz I feel like a lot of guys try to make fun of girls and It's trying to build themselves up a little bit. Just like push them down bring themselves up I don't know and I am more than that. It's it's more of like an insecurity of They want to build a sexual tension between the two of them by like teasing, you know, which can work if you're good at it Yeah, they're not good at it. They just don't know how to break rapport. Yeah, so the approaching zady How to get over approaching today. I feel like it's it's such a Small topic. There's only a couple real answers. I think it's just comes down to like literally you gotta step up and want it Bad enough. That's what I think you know, I think a lot of it is like you might see some girls You know a single they're talking to some other guys you feel awkward You don't want to walk into that group because they're already talking to the guys the other guys might be like, you know Whatever bro and like or you might be like, you know Tooling the other two guys and the girls are like, you know, they don't like that You're trying it sucks because once you start getting into a competition for attention women pick up on that instantly and then everybody loses pretty much unless it's like and that's you're gonna Alpha male the shit out of it and then you you know, you just got to be like dominating towards the other two guys Which is fun, you know, but that takes you know You just physically kind of grabbing the girls and start making out with them in front of them shit like that But you know, so there's different sets to have an anxiety It's not not every single situation you're gonna be is gonna be the same So you might have no anxiety talking to a group of girls They are by themselves. You might have no anxiety coming up and talking to one girl You might have no anxiety talking to a group of whole people that's there So you can feel like, you know, you might be able to flirt with the girl a little bit But still break into the conversation You know so but the reality of it is you probably will have an anxiety with all of those because if you're attracted to the girl the first thing we start to do is You know, you you want to You're you're you kind of build up these walls and give yourself little excuses of why oh no like Oh, my you know, I don't have enough money to buy her a drink or my hair doesn't look good Or or she's fucking you might like start knocking on her a little bit like oh, she's not that hot Yeah, she's okay. Yeah, I think that's the best one. She's like hmm. She's not that hot But in the reality of it if she's if you looked at her in the first place It was something that was attractive and you should go with your gut on that and you know Don't be so judgmental because Women definitely are not as judgmental of men as we are of them Guaranteed like if you put ten hot chicks and ten hot guys a pretty nasty man I know that but women statistically are not as judgmental as men Like they're studies on this. Okay. All right Women will judge if a group of men less harshly than a group of men won't charge a group of women Dude to be like not too fat 6% body fat on the Lord, but well They've done studies and they say that women on average think that guys are like less attractive than the way guys think Women are attractive, but in terms of like I guess, you know cutting them down women are usually a little bit nicer than yeah Yeah, so anyhow point being Just go in and try stop coming up with excuses everything You just said as an excuse and then you're gonna find yourselves falling into these traps when you go out telling your buddies Yeah, she wasn't that hot whatever it's fine or like yet She looks like a bitch or you're gonna say all of these things Yeah, and it's just coming down to the fact that you didn't go up and say hi or you didn't go up and talk to her And they're in the day You're gonna be like meh I wish I had to talk to that chick a little more because the day's over she's gone Who knows what she's doing yeah, but you kill yourself after sometimes like if I do if I was at like the grocery store And there was like a chick like at the cash register And she if she was fine if I didn't like say something or like it's your fucking job as a man to say something to her I know that's what I mean like if I don't then I Then I'm kicking myself you just kept doing it and doing it I said that's the best if you try it for a hundred times and do it and do it and do it and do it Eventually you're gonna fucking Get better results, but if you don't do it and you keep giving yourself the same excuses You keep hanging out with the same friends that aren't helping you out You keep hanging out with the same going into the same bars. There's no chicks. You have to switch your scene up You know try it go out by yourself really, it's tough But you know, that's what really fucking sharpens your teeth is going out by yourself Stepping up introducing yourself to chicks and women are like. Oh, are you here alone? Yeah, I'm in from out of town. Yeah, or whatever like yeah, I'm you're here alone Oh, yeah, I know I just had a couple hours to between a flight or whatever, you know friends left my friends fucking left or bitch You're my friend now. I Thought we were friends. I guess we're not friends anymore. That's makes you awkward. I gotta go here's some weird shit like that But yeah, keep trying. That's what I do if I you fail So what that's fucking life, but you keep going and Eventually it's gonna work. Yeah, you have to keep hitting on shakes all the time and keep walking up to people and never That's how you get over anything. It's practice. Exactly. I'd say learn to laugh at yourself too man like honestly if I if I go up meet me and Evil stifler hanging out and I go up and talk to a girl. It doesn't go too well I'll like tell him tell the story. He'll usually laugh. He'll usually like laugh and point What's up you guys the camera cut out while we were talking to evil stifler basically all I was saying was that? When you go up and talk to real and it doesn't go well You should laugh you should be able to laugh at yourself I mean if you're taking this stuff where we go up and talk to girls and try to pick up women Super seriously, it's gonna be really hard to laugh at yourself But at the end of the day you have to realize we're just talking shit to random strangers and it's funny Like that it's funny the crazy situations that you get into and you got to be able to laugh at them Except at the end of the day if you don't enjoy the process These types of crazy things that happen to you then you're not gonna get good and you're not gonna stick with it I mean in my life. I'm just thinking about the things that have happened to me Most of the funny stories that I tell most of the hilarious things that have my buddies cracking up for days Are things where I don't look that good or it doesn't turn out the way? I thought it was gonna turn out or maybe things didn't go well, okay? Those types of stories are hilarious We usually laugh about them and then we'll high-five and then we'll go talk to some other girls Okay, it's part of the process. It's part of the process of enjoying it going out having fun being social These are the things that happen man All right, you guys well, that's most of what we have for approach anxiety unless Chris Nova is any final thoughts I mean the tips that we kind of gave were basically, you know Everybody struggles through this realize that everyone's going through approach anxiety You're not special just because you're introverted or because you feel like you have intense social anxiety Okay, everyone has to deal with this I would I would add that it's not even Let's clarify. It's not that you're not special. It's just like your it's not you shouldn't feel like you should beat yourself up about the fact You approach anxiety. It's really really fucking weird. It's not an excuse. It's definitely not excuse It's not an excuse not to do it and it's especially not an excuse understanding that No matter how good you get with game with girls and no matter how many girls you've had sex with You're always gonna still have an aspect of this approach anxiety that you're gonna need to overcome Yeah, for the most part and that's what we want to leave you with is with these final thoughts Is that it's still something you're gonna deal with? It's just that you get better and better and better at fucking Preparing yourself for how to deal with it and subsequently overcome it So with that in mind it makes it a lot easier to be able to go out and to make sure it happened with women Absolutely, and then some of the tips that we have to basically cut down the approach anxiety again I'm gonna be able to completely eliminate it but cut down is first of all go out with a good wing That's gonna push you Stop thinking ten steps ahead start using that systematic Desensitization to take those little baby steps on to give yourself a little bit of confidence and then realize that Realize that women are just human beings to man Right realize that this is you're literally just going up and having a conversation with somebody There's nothing scary. We're not in caveman times or people are gonna get killed for talking to the wrong woman We're in the modern-day era and it the worst that's gonna happen to you is she's just gonna like maybe ignore you And then walk on and then you're gonna be right back to the place that you were before no There's no room left for you to sort of cop out with excuses of why you can't do it or because if you give yourself more than three seconds This is why you're looking at her and it's like, okay. Well, it's like Like the clock's ticking and she sees you looking at her and you're just like but she's really hot There's like that guy with her and maybe what if she doesn't like what I'm wearing or what I look like Like a thousand fucking reasons of why you can't do it will pop in your head and they're all bullshit So if you just go and approach within those three seconds, you don't have any room for any of that stuff to happen Yeah, that's that's the premise of why you want to do that and remember fear false evidence appearing real Just stay in the moment take action and there's always remember jump and the net will catch you There's always something that's gonna be there's always going to be something that you're gonna be able to gain from the experience And there's really nothing bad that's gonna happen to you cool Yeah, thanks you guys So if you made to the end consider subscribing coming out with videos like this every single week Chris Nova's got a book called win with women. You guys check out. Do you want to say about that? It's just a full blueprint on how to attract the kind of women that you want and Basically achieve your goals in every area and become a total fucking boss with women in life So if that sounds interesting to you then definitely check out my book We'll have links to it somewhere, but yeah in the meantime stay tuned guys for more videos from this guy You'll see me sometimes and with that peace if you have any questions about this Feel free to put in the comment section below or email me at the single guy 2017 gmail I'm also I do coaching as well So if you really want a guy who's gonna take your results to the next level, this is the place to do it All right. Thanks a lot you guys