 Thunder Force is a Netflix superhero film featuring Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer as superheroes taking down evil do-gooders. What could possibly go wrong? Everything. If you have Netflix, you'll be greeted with this awful Thunder Force film, which I went into blindly. Didn't see a trailer, didn't even really see any sort of posters. All I knew was Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer were in this as a comedic duo, and I thought, this can't miss. This surely can't miss. My wife and two children dodged a bullet, opted not to watch this, so I sat alone, thinking of all the things I'd rather be doing and how I wasted my time here, and then I started to reflect on my life in general and all the bad choices I made. But then I reflected a bit further and thought, you know what, Adam, for all the missed opportunities and terrible decisions you've made in your life, you aren't in Thunder Force, and you know what, that's an absolute win. The plot is simple, which is nice, although I already forgot it because the film is so forgettable. I'm gonna just try to remember. I know it starts with a comic book strip because that's fun and fresh in a superhero film. I think a meteor or something comes down to earth causes a bit of destruction, but it also releases a toxin that gives the worst type of people super villain powers. That's right, anybody that gets powers is bad because of science. We then cut to a young Lydia and Emily, the protagonists of this film. Octavia Spencer's character is being bullied because she's really smart. The script really hammers home to families, who I think maybe are the target audience here, we'll get into the tone in a little bit, that it's okay to want to learn and study hard that doesn't make you a nerd, that doesn't mean you should get made fun of. Really deep, profound messaging here. Melissa McCarthy's character, and this is a stretch. This is something that she's never really done before, which I'm proud of her for stretching her acting chops. She plays kind of a white trash redneck who eats like shit, talks like crap, is kind of an idiot, bumbling, stupid, falls a lot, gets into all sorts of crazy hijinks. It's every single role she's ever done outside of Gilmore Girls, which I love! That last part wasn't a stretch, I am actually a big fan of G2, but we'll press on. So they're best friends for a few years before they eventually part ways in college, have a little bit of a falling out, and they haven't spoken for another like decade or two. I don't know, it's been a long time. Melissa works as a forklift operator while Olivia Spencer has dedicated her life to coming up with a tonic, a potion, some sort of medical breakthrough that will give her superhuman abilities so she can stop all the bad evil people. The character Emily Stanton succeeds at making the superhero potion. Melissa McCarthy comes back into her life, accidentally injects herself with it in the stupidest way possible, and they go through a 30-40 day trial of this stuff, kind of like getting into their system, making Melissa McCarthy's character stronger. Meanwhile, Octavia's secretly been taking the other potion which makes her invisible. That's all that one does. The first one makes you super strong, the second one makes you invisible, I guess you couldn't do both at once, you had to have two different ones, but then we find out there's also a secret third one that makes you super fast, that her kid is going to take later and no I don't care about spoilers, this movie sucks. You're not going to watch this movie, you shouldn't. It's not even fun to watch, like you can't really laugh at how bad it is. You would think that in 2021 with all the technology, all the special effects, the CG wizardry going on behind the scenes, that we would at least have some cool action and effects. Sometimes I would not often look up and there would be a crab person dancing with Melissa McCarthy and eating raw chicken. None of what I just said is a lie. That all happens in the film. The plot points they really have to hit home are you're not a nerd if you're smart, that's one. The other one is Octavia Spencer's character is doing this for her parents that died. This is hammered into your skull until the point where it's broken through to your brain and killed you. She says it no less than like 20 times. I'm doing this for my family and the big joke is Jason Bateman being in this for one and two, having crab arms, which they make every crab pun and joke you could possibly think of. There's a scene in the film where Melissa McCarthy and him go out for dinner, she takes butter and starts spreading it on his claw. That brings me to the tone of the film which I can't possibly comprehend. It's clearly light enough for kids but then you have these weird sexual moments between the leads and eating the raw meats and just bizarre shit that I don't understand. I don't understand any of it. The action consists of really poor wire work. I mean you got Melissa McCarthy on a wire, there's not a lot you're going to be able to do with her, she's not moving around fast. So it's just her kind of like jumping up a little higher than honestly like she jumps up onto a box at one point and I think I could have jumped up onto the box without the wire. So they're kind of suspending the two leads on cables and having them do things that most people could like healthy people could just do. I'm not fat shaming, I'm superhero shaming. These two suck as superheroes. I mean the one turns invisible for crying out loud. She does almost nothing with the ability. Melissa McCarthy throws a bus. That's the big set piece of the film. She takes a bus and throws it. It looks terrible. It goes down the block. I mean I was hoping it killed someone so there could be some actual stakes in this film but no it's just treated as kind of a whoops did I do that event. Funny I bring up Urkel. There's an Urkel joke that goes on for 30 seconds. Um there's diarrhea jokes. Really really bottom tier shit. Cards on the table. I actually really like Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer. I think they are both really good actresses if they can find the right scripts. Melissa McCarthy seems to never find the right scripts though unfortunately outside of you know bridesmaids from a decade ago and and G2 as I mentioned. Octavia Spence you know she's great at the drama roles. She's great at the drama. I'm not sure she can pull off comedy. I'm trying to think if I've ever seen her in comedy. Here she's not funny. I know that much. So this is a miss. This is a miss all around. Music's awful. They somehow butcher seals masterpiece. Kiss from a rose on the gray. I don't know how. Every time I've seen it in a comedy it's it's been perfect. It's hard not to like get that right but they they showed you it can be possible not to. I'm babbling like a brook here. This is a rant. It's not a like a full blown review I guess. I just here's the bottom line. Don't watch this film. Even for free it was a huge waste of time. I started painting during it because I just couldn't take it anymore. I was just in the you know I'm just painting and looking over once in a while like okay she's she's slow dancing with the crab guy now. This is this is hell. I think because of all the missteps too Melissa McCarthy has finally hit the Adam Sandler level of actor. He was in Uncut Gems which was a great movie but I just I just can't anymore with the comedy with that guy and I think Melissa might be there too now. Ghostbusters almost sealed it for me. This one just this puts the kiss from the rose on the gray right there and it is gray not grave. I had that corrected a long time ago. It's very embarrassing. It was in a company email someone was leaving the company I said something like some joke about you were a kiss from the rose on the grave. I had another person email the group email and said it's gray like just a huge embarrassing correction to be made public like that. Just a real I don't work there anymore because of that. Where did this review go? So make sure to check out Thunder thighs Thunder Force.