 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Everybody ready. I'm ready. I'm ready to remember in my house ready means hands washed Here come here is come hands is washed table set lights on David Did you set the table at your job? Get off my lap since when since you're back on your feet little mother Did I hear something? No, where the salts and peppers mama? Oh, oh Table isn't set. Oh, oh, it'll be set in a moment. Honestly. I can't depend on David for anything Hardly am I being maligned? Oh, that's such a pretty word. Yes, you are being whatever it is Here David if you can stand the weight take out the salts and peppers take them out to the ball game Yes, take them out of the dining room table with no funny business. No funny business. She says. Oh Chirp chirp. Claudia. Would you like a little salt? I would love a little salt before I didn't know I married a magpie David you're so silly tonight get out of my way you too. I thought you said dinner was ready, Mrs. Brown I know better than to have dinner ready when I say it's ready And what does that mean it won't be ready for another 15 minutes? Oh, that's the only sure way I have of having you and the table ready at the same time David We have been hoodwink hoodwink. We'll have to get even with her grandma Are you treating us with psychology for the same price now shoe out of here mama has a glint in her eye darling We'd better leave her to her boiling cauldron. Mama. Do you want to go back to your boiling cauldron? I do. Oh, can't we help certainly you can help by staying out of the kitchen. Hey mama. Mama What are we having for dinner? Ham baked ham baked ham. Oh, well, I'll uh, I'll have to go into the kitchen and supervise What can I taste with my finger mama your finger? Somehow I don't think we're wanted in the kitchen David. I can't understand it Claudia. She called us to come I heard that I heard it now. She's changed her mind about it. I feel like an orphan in a storm Oh, you would only get out into the store. Oh, she means business. I'm certainly glad mama didn't treat me like that when I was young I would have gotten maladjusted. Well, it's never too late. Darling. If you set your mind no safe on that score here Don't forget the salts and peppers. All right now. Let's work this out. You take the salt Claudia I will take the pepper. We are boiling boiling down. We are beasts of boy come on beat We'll leave mama alone reluctantly reluctantly. I go why this should have happened to me There there is the pepper there is the salt That was a hard job Well table set now, what do we do back into the kitchen? There man, I'll read the evening paper. Oh, no, there's not time for that. It's only ten more minutes till dinner. I Know what? No, no, no, no, no, not that. Oh, yes Mama is an eavesdropper What a loud noise for an eave and she just dropped it Mama, can we help you pick up the pieces of your ease of my walk very slow your mother? Oh born that way. She can't help you step across this threshold Boy, you're sprinkling it with pasta. Oh, you'd be so good Do want to be helpful David can fix the latch on the front door. I don't believe it's broken mama I think it's just a decoy. Isn't dinner ever going to be ready. What's the matter with the latch mama the door squeaks? Oh on On to the latch. Oh that latch it never works. Oh I hate to be a door what it's all life Open and close open and close. Oh, but you ought to know how that is Squeaks all right Squeak now and then it's nice It has character. Well, what about the latch? Is it broken What's the matter with it I Don't think you really know of course. I know is it's not working you are brilliant nurse nurse get me the scalpel Yes, doctor and the force and the retract. Yes, doctor nurse. Yes. Oh We are going To operate operate Will the latch live who knows who knows mama David wants to scalpel the force it's in the retractors David wants what the doctor is going to operate on the latch. Just pass me the instruments We are Mama give me the instrument boxes on the shelf behind it Good thing. I don't believe a word you say or I'd feel positively unwanted How's the ham coming? Wouldn't have such a temperamental ham in my house David here the instruments David Where are you here? I am Well, where is here? I'm out in the hall. Well, that's a fine place to be come on in Just open the door Richard You mean you're locked out in the door wait a minute wait a minute my hands are full of things Now David Hey, take your hand off the door knob. I can't turn it My hands are on the door knob. I don't believe you look through the keyhole. I am oh What a great thing are you have grandma? Hello, I said hello, honey with just one eye What do you see of me? Oh, open the door. I can't the knob is stuck You're going to have to spend the rest of the night out in the hall. I don't believe that the knob is stuck We'll have to feed you through the door. Oh, tell me what to do darling Let me see now wait a minute. Yes, I have it See if you can wiggle it into the keyhole get your eye out. I don't feel anything Why why did I have to marry so unmechanical a woman every time you start fixing something it unfixes and we get in a pretty fix oh I'm just killing me David, you know, I don't think you're mechanical either Hold everything mama, we've lost David That's an idea Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yes Yes Yes, I get you I get you now I don't know my own strength and difficult journey. It's good to see you back. Oh, you're looking Sausted huh welcome again You said you give me something if I let you back into the house. Yes, I did Turn around. Oh, no, no, no, not that I get my hands on you She practically broke down the door is dinner almost ready yet another five minutes five minutes I think I'll get locked out again. I'll help you. No, thanks No, mama Is there anything else that you would want me to fix around the house while I'm waiting? I wouldn't let you touch anything. I want toast in my dinner. You can't have it Because the toaster doesn't work right I Thought so and what is the matter with the toaster get that look out of your eye David you're not to touch it the little thing in the jig jumps when you pull out jiggers. You don't say is that all is wrong? I'll never get these popovers down if you don't get out of here David push down the jiggers. Give me a piece of bread. Let's see what's the matter with this Give me a heel any heel No Down it goes Working fine Doesn't look as if there's anything the matter with it. Does it? No, I think every toaster should be dropped on its head every so often Oh Toaster through the bread out. Yes, it flew through the air with the greatest of ease It fell into the batter for batter or for worse the bread knows on which side it is battered Look at it swimming around to the rescue. We're like David. Don't you dare put your hand on it? Oh David that did you want it to drown mother look at my kitchen frackles with batter Now get out of here both of you get now mama can't I even fix the toast you can't fix anything is a fixer up Or you're a flop do you hear how your daughter talks to me miss it right here now into the dining room you too I'm bringing out the hand at last. Oh Sees to me dinner was ready 15 minutes ago Stunt bad if I say so myself. I'm starving quick. Let's sit down Family's finally gathered at the supper table won't you sit down here, Mrs. Brown? There you are. Oh It's nice being Smug I am smug and proud of it. I don't see why you didn't have anything to do With a ham smug about lots of other things We have a house in the country house in New York and now you're calling my apartment your I am Broken lats squeaky door nervous toaster all our and Mrs. Brown We hope we sincerely hope that you will call our house your home to mom Thank You David. Oh, yeah do house in the country and an apartment in New York Mama you the baby Some people might be fools enough to want more than this but as far as I'm concerned It's everything Don't you ever let me forget it David? No chance of that darling one moment. You're so silly and the next moment. You're oh so serious That's me charm your charm seriously though Everything is perfect. Isn't it? It is it is it certainly is Congratulations Claudia congratulations Claudia. Thank you David. Thank you mama Thank You God These are good sandwich and salad days Know what goes good with sandwiches and salads you guessed it ice cold coca-cola a bottle That's beaded with frosty pearls a bottle that helped you enjoy the pause that refreshes Treat yourself lady. You deserve it Make lunchtime refreshment time by including delicious coke this very noon time. Mr. King Have you had dinner yet? Just on my way, Mrs. Brown sure you won't drop in for a bit with us Well, I'm sure I'd better get on home. Thank you anyway not at all. Mrs. Brown before you leave tell me How's the baby? Oh Bobby? He's very fine knock wood. He's quite quite a presentable little rascal now Good good because tomorrow night. He's going to be presented presented to Roger Killian. Oh My oh, I hope he behaves the baby. I mean the baby, of course Well, you'll see you'll see and by the way be sure you're around because David and Roger get into a pretty good discussion About the baby's education See you then Mrs. Brown Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is Joe King saying or a bar and remember Whoever you are Whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold coca-cola is everywhere These broadcasts are adapted for radio by mania star and the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney and now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola