 Hey Psych2Goers, welcome back to the channel. Is it only substances that are toxic? Hmm, sometimes relationships too. A toxic family is one that thrives on behaviors in relationships which infiltrate negativity into every part of your life, becoming detrimental to mental, emotional and even physical health. Therapist Dr. Claire Jack says, despite the abundance of love, some have grown in families which are bound by a web of abusive, critical and manipulative behaviors. Would you like to know more? What are the telling factors? How to tell the difference? Here are six telltale signs that you are indeed living in a toxic environment. Number one, they don't allow you to express your individuality. What defines family? A place where you can feel free to express opinions, have disagreements and be respected for the choices you make. Coming from a family excelling in a certain profession, how would they react if one day you were to voice out your opinion of embarking on an opposite career path? Would they respond with something like, you won't be good enough and you would earn less than the rest of us? Well, when a family regards your future career choice as a serious threat to your family's way of doing things, you're forced to question your abilities and whether this was something that you could do as part of this family. A toxic family completely demolishes the autonomy of the members, leaving no room for mistakes. A healthy family accommodates change and growth, both of individuals and of the family as a unit, embracing all new additions too. Number two, there's always some drama going on. I heard your friend Kay got an A for her math exam. Why can't you obtain the same grade? What's wrong with you? Even your twin sister got an A in that exam. What's the matter with you? Why can't you be more like your sister? Ever heard these types of snippets in your surroundings? Toxic parents exhibit a chronic lack of empathy towards their children, says Shannon Thomas, trauma therapist and author of Healing from Hidden Abuse. A supportive, loving family may discuss you when you're not there, often to see how they can help you out. The toxic family spends time gossiping about you and your other siblings. The gossip is often unpleasant in nature, aimed at bringing you down. Being nasty about family members to other family members is at the heart of any toxic families. Number three, you're asked to lie about things that happened at home. If your teacher asks you about the bruises on your arms, say that you bumped hard into the table. The mother warns her eight-year-old son while adjusting his school necktie. Yet another hushed conversation common in such households. Abuse within families can range from emotional abuse to physical and sexual abuse. Within the toxic family, abusive behavior is not called out for what it is. On the contrary, you may be made to feel that you deserved to be abused. You may be told to keep quiet about the abuse in order to preserve the reputation of the family. Abuser is protected within the family and allowed to get away with their behavior. Number four, they exert control and autonomy over you. Ever had a conversation that goes, can I please go on a picnic trip with my friends next month? No, you can't. Your final school examination is just around the corner. But I promise to study my hardest after the trip. No, you can't go. Trust me, it's for your own good. These conversations are typical where the parent demands blind obedience and conformity. It is highly advisable to apply a moderate amount of behavioral regulation and monitoring for children. A study even relates enforcing boundaries and monitoring associated with positive outcomes. But on the contrary, when the control is at an extreme level, the negative behavior and psychological impacts weigh heavily on children. A study reports feelings of incompetency and low self-worth are common among these children. Number five, they don't recognize your space or boundaries. Are they constantly checking your phone without asking for your permission? Having your own boundaries in space is definitely crucial in healthy parent-child relationships. The situation asks for assertiveness and compassion. Being assertive involves stating how you feel and what you need without trying to hurt the other person. This includes maintaining eye contact, maintaining a sense of calm, being open to having a conversation, actively listening to the other person and monitoring your tone. At the same time being compassionate means understanding where your parents may be coming from and understanding the difficulties they may be experiencing and making sure you grow into a good person while also simultaneously honoring your needs. A study shows practicing compassion helps you stay grounded and come from a place of love versus defensiveness. And number six, they'll constantly belittle you. Is talking smack about their kids the go-to topic at the adults table? Toxic family members will constantly belittle you. Essentially implying that pretty much anything you say that expresses your idea's beliefs or wants is silly or stupid. The problem is they're not kidding and that's why what they're doing is not a joke. Psychologist Dr. Thomas L. Corey suggests being open to them about how this hurts you, saying that it can help counteract this. It's imperative to repeatedly let them know your side each time it occurs so they might see the error of their ways. However, a notable exception according to Dr. Thomas is there should be a zero tolerance policy for physical abuse. You may have experienced some, if not all of these behaviors, hopefully in a mild form, occasionally in your relationships. And that's the key word, occasionally. What distinguishes a toxic relationship is both the severity of these behaviors and how frequently they occur. In a toxic relationship, these behaviors are the norm, not the exception. The toxicity is clearly a matter of degree. Most of us manipulate once in a while, play helpless, induce guilt, et cetera. We're not perfect, nor are our relationships. Please remember your toxic surroundings are not your fault and there is no shame in reaching out for help. This can help improve both your life and your families. Do any of these describe your experience? Leave a comment down below about your encounters with them if you'd like. Please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well. If you found this video helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there being subjected to such behavior. Don't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more new videos. And as always, thanks for watching.