 The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris and his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with Be a Good Sport from Love and Hisses. One of our listeners from Boston writes, when I'm dining out in a restaurant and I see the word Jell-O on the menu, I feel just as if I'd met an old friend. Well, you have, because like an old friend, you can always depend on genuine Jell-O. It will be tempting and delicious wherever you have it. Well, there is only one Jell-O and the name Jell-O is a trademark, the property of general food. That's the reason we always emphasize the point of your asking for Jell-O by name, whenever and wherever you order it, whether it's from your grocer or in a restaurant. Restaurant serving real Jell-O can now display an autographed picture of Jack Benny. Look for his picture as your assurance that they serve genuine Jell-O. So if you want to enjoy Jell-O's delicious extra-rich fruit flavor, Jell-O's satisfying fresh fruit goodness always insists by name on the one and only genuine Jell-O. That was be a good sport played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who doesn't sing like Crosby, who doesn't photograph like Gable, who cannot act like Muni, yet he's in the movies, Jack Benny. Thank you very much. Hello again. This is Jack Benny talking and Don, you kind of floored me with that introduction. Of course, I'm in the movies. I may not sing like Crosby or act like Paul Muni, but I do photograph well and you know it. Now, that isn't just what I said, Jack. I merely said that you don't photograph as well as Gable. Now, wait a minute, Don. That might be a debatable point. After all, it is a matter of opinion. You have your side of it and the rest of us have mine. I'm afraid you don't grasp my thought, Jack. Now, I don't mean that you're hideous or anything like that. Well, that dog gone sweet of you. What I'm trying to say, Jack, is that Gable is a rugged, muscular, outdoor type of man. You know, he goes in for sports like hunting and fishing. Well, what do you think I do? I spent the whole morning reading field and stream. And for your information, Don, I sleep without pajamas, winter and summer. Go on, you're kidding. Oh, I am, Ace. They fail. Yes, Jack, you stayed overnight at my house a lot of times. I sleep without pajamas, don't I? Yeah, but you got sleeves in the blankets. You should talk the way you dress for bed. You even wear a night cap. You mean my boot, Wabini? Any man that'll wear a night cap. Well, I have to protect my hair. Oh, I can't put it in a drawer and go to bed like you do. Now, that's silly because I never wore a toupee in my life. What was that on your head in your last picture, spinach? Yes. Well, it sure had a nice wave in it. Anyway, who started all this talk about my loft and how I photograph and Gable and everything? Well, Jack, I read it in the paper just yesterday that you're going to start your new picture pretty soon. Oh, is that how you happen to bring it up there? Well, yes, I am. I am, Don. And I want to tell you, fellas, it's going to be a swell picture right up my alley. They've already sent me a script and I'm going to... Hello, Jack. Hello, Mary. They've already sent me a script and I'm going to... Hello, Don. How goes it? Well, hello, Mary. They've already sent me a script and I'm going to... Hi, you fail. Hi, Mary. Glad to see you. They've already... Please, Mary. They've already sent me a script and, you know, fellas, I do feel that this time they've really caught the true Benny. Well, Jack, I thought your last picture captured your personality very nicely. Well, Don, not completely. It did have the outer me. You know, a surface portrayal. But in this new picture, you're going to see the inner me. You know, deep down inside. See, I can hardly wait until it's released. Me too. I'd like to see what your liver looks like. Well, that's not what I meant at all. Well, tell me, Jack, what kind of a party are you going to play? What character? Well, Don, it's something very human. Something that everybody understands. And still... But did Kenny get here yet? No. And still, it has its humor and deep quality. I feel that it lasts... That guy never gets here on time. Mary, I'm talking. Oh, then I don't blame him. Anyway, fellas, in this new picture, I play the part of a kleptomaniac. A kleptomaniac? Yeah, you know, one of those fellas who imagines he's sick all the time. You know... You know, a fella that's always taking pills. Why, that's hypochondriac. A kleptomaniac is a thief. Well, anyway, I play the part of a big word. And I'm a very well-versed man. Well, Jack, what about the love interest? Who's your leading lady? Oh, she's beautiful, Don. She's that new European star that just came over from Vienna. Her name is Francesca Galle. She's really gorgeous. Who's your leading man? Well, they haven't cast the... I am! Who's your leading man? Which reminds me, Mary, just before you came in, Don insinuated that I don't photograph like Gabe did. Why, that's silly. You got him beat a mile. Certainly. And listen, Don... Say, uh, wait a minute. Do you mean Clark Gable? Yes. Oh, then forget it. Don't worry. I'll do our draw right romantically. You know, fellas... Yeah, I can't be nervous today. You know, fellas, working with a girl like Francesca Galle, it'll sure be a kick doing those love scenes. See, I hope I won't be nervous. Yeah. Remember that big love scene you had with Gail Patrick in your last picture, Jack? Well, what about it? You were so bashful you kept ducking behind it all the time. Well, I had to. I had my lines written on her back. And believe me, I'll learn my part thoroughly next time. You know, Jack, I'm awfully sorry you're going to make this new picture. I wish it wasn't ready yet. Why, Mary? Well, I've got the most wonderful idea for a love story, and it just fits you to a T. Oh, it does, eh? Your idea? Well, I don't want to hear it. I'll give the kid a chance. What's it all about, Mary? Well, the scene is a desert island in the South Sea, and Jack is alone on this island with Carol Lombard. Oh, with Carol Lombard. Say, that's a swell idea. What happens? Well, when the picture opens, Carol is seen swimming away from the island, and Jack is shouting to her. Oh, she leaves me right at the start of the picture. Yes. That's a fine story. Don't complain. I had garbled there, and she swam away too. Oh, say, the women take to me like a duck to water. Is there more to it? Yes. Now, here you are all alone on this desert island. Yes, yes. And you don't know what to do. So you start carving your initials in a palm tree, which later turns out to be a baboon. A baboon? This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I see. Well, if the baboon swims away, I quit. But at that, there's a situation there. Now, who could play the baboon? Maybe you could double Jack. Quiet. Is there any more to it, Mary? Oh, sure. Now, here you are all alone. I know, I know. Well, all of a sudden, a bottle is washed up on the shore. A bottle? Yes. So you pick it up, pull off the cork, and fifty corks, girls, jump out. Well, it's a little unbelievable, but at least I have company. Then what happens? They all swim away. Now, wait a minute, Mary, that's going too far. What's the name of your picture, anyway? Little Swimming. Well, that fit, but I'm not interested in it, so let's change the subject. Oh, Phil. Yeah? Are your boys ready for the next number? No, they all swim away. Oh, they did, eh? Well, make them come back. Can't do it, pal. They caught up with the chorus girls. Oh, well, here I go too. Splash, splash, jump. I'm swimming now, folks. I'm swimming. What was that number, Phil? A tango or a foxtrot? The Australian crawl. Oh, oh, we're quite aquatic tonight, aren't we? Yes, and ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to enter this water carnival, swim to your nearest grocer, ring yourself out and say, give me a package of jello, gergo gergo. Well, boy meets gergo. That was very clever, Don, and certainly apropos. Now, where were we here? So here you are, all alone on this desert island. Mary, I'm not going to be on that desert island because I'm not going to play the part. Get Phil Harris to play it. Oh, no, I want the girls to swim away. Now, I suppose Phil would be right at home on a desert island with 50 girls. Yeah, man. Well, you play it then. Oh, hello, Kenny. Hello, Jack. I hope you weren't worrying about me. Oh, no, no, where were you? I was down in a drugstore eating. Oh. Had a mullet of milk, chocolate soda, a bacon and tomato sandwich, marshmallow sundae, and a bowl of soup. My goodness, you ate all of that? You must have been awfully hungry. No, it wasn't that. I knew I wanted something, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Well, you certainly tried. Gee, I'm uncomfortable. Well, Kenny, why don't you take some bicarbonate of the soda? Well, I'll put it. Well, I hope you'll be able to sing. Say, Kenny, you should have been here. Mary was telling me the plot of a story she wrote there. She wrote? Say, I helped write that. Oh, so you helped Mary with it, huh? He did not. All he thought of was the island. I put the water around it. Well, that was brilliant, there. Yeah. Say, Jack, I read in the papers you're going to start the new picture pretty soon. Is that right? Yes, Kenny. In a few weeks, they're casting the picture now. I play opposite that new European star, Francesca Gall. Oh, yeah. See that pic of knees? Via knees. Pic of knees. And she's beautiful, too. You know, she's from Vienna. Vienna? Yeah. See, that's a coincidence. What's the coincidence? You're from Waukegan. That's Waukegan with a W. Anyway, Kenny, it's going to be a pretty swell picture. And Francesca, this girl whom I married, is, uh, oh, say, I just thought of something. Oh, this is awful. What's the matter, Jack? I promised to call her up and make a date to read the script over with her. Mary, get Miss Gall on the phone, will you please? Wait a minute. Here's the number. Okay. Operator, get me Hollywood 2734. I'm kind of anxious to see her and start rehearsing. You know, I hope she doesn't think that... Hello? Miss Gall, please? Yes, Miss Gall from Vienna. That's Vienna, B. I hope she isn't doing anything tonight, because I... Miss Gall? Jack's any calling? Here you are, Jack. Thanks. Good evening, Miss Gall. I'll be the day. Oh, that comes later, I think. Well, uh, Vot's new. I mean, what's new? Darn you, Mary. Oh, oh, I'm fine. Thank you, Miss Gall. How are you? Well, are you enjoying Hollywood? Mm-hmm. Can't be that funny. Quiet. Miss Gall, I just called to find out when you're... when you'd like me to come over for a rehearsal. Mm-hmm. Well, how about tonight after the broadcast? I said after the broadcast. Oh, yes, yes, I'm on the radio. She just got in town, folks. Well, I could get there by 9.30. Oh, that would be too late. Well, I could hurry over. I could run over. Why don't you roll over? Mary. Well, all right, Miss Gall, I'll be there right after the program. Well, goodbye. What's that? Mr. Harris? Oh, do you know Phil? Well, Miss Gall, we wouldn't want any interruptions during the rehearsal, you know. You know the old saying, three is a crowd. Oh, you don't? Well, yes, if you feel all right, I'll be glad to bring him along. Well, the merrier, I always say. Goodbye. Mm. How long have you known her, Phil? Oh, about a week. I'll be glad to go along. Yes, do that. All I want to do is rehearse and get out. Surely a matter of business with me. Well, I had nothing to do with it. She asked for me and all I would do... I didn't say you had anything to do with it. Well, you're not mad, are you? Of course I'm not mad. Oh, go ahead and sing. I've had enough of your back talk. Oh, gee, where? Well, what are you waiting for? Someday that kid will drive me nuts. I don't mind her anymore. Didn't know. In from Gowen Folly, sung by Kenny Baker, and was very good. And now, folks... I'm not mad. When I have to rehearse with my leading lady, I don't see why the whole world has to tag along. I'm the one that's going. I'm not. You can bet your Aunt Susie you're not. You got an Aunt Susie. What are you picking on him for? I'm the guy you're mad at. I'm not mad at anybody, so let's drop us. And now, folks... I mean, and now, folks... If my cast will calm down... Calm down from where? Cut out that Dutch comedy, Mary. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, for our feature attraction, we are going to present a play of newspaper life. A stirring, fast-moving drama of the press, entitled Behind the Front Page, or Scoop Benny's Scoop. I will play the part of Scoop Benny, editor-in-chief of the New York Daily Bulletin, a fearless journalist and the sworn enemy of gangland. The rest of my cast will be reporters. The opening scene is the editorial office of the Daily Bulletin, New York City. Curtain. Good morning, Daily Bulletin. Just a moment, please. I'll connect you. Hello? Yeah, this is Scoop. Oh, hello, Callahan. Anything new on the Harrington murder? I'm holding the front page open. What? You know the murderer? Good work, Callahan. How did you find out? Oh, you read it in the Express. Callahan, you're fired. This paper's got the worst bunch of reporters in New York City. What's the matter, Snoop? That's Scoop. Callahan found out who murdered Harrington, the banker. He read it in the Express. Well, who killed Harrington? I was gone. I forgot to ask him. Here's three cents. Go out and buy an Express. It's a nickel now. Well, let it go. This'll find out how do you do. Hey, Chief! Chief! I got it! I got it! You got what, Harris? I just found out who killed Harrington, the banker. I suppose you read it in the Express. No, the Oskaloosa Gazette. Thanks. You're fired. What again? Oskaloosa, how did they beat us to it? How did they beat us? You didn't even know Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected until you missed Hoover in the newsreel. All right, you should talk after that assignment you were on today. I sent you down to the boat to interview Robert Taylor and what happened? You didn't even get a story. Well, he didn't know any. I don't believe it after the way he's been traveling. You're fired, too. Oh, shut up. What? Hey, Scoop! Scoop! I got it! I got it! Got what, Baker? I found out who killed Harrington, the banker. Oh, where did you read it? In the woman's home companion. That's ridiculous. It couldn't have been there. It was, too, right next to a recipe for Angel Cakes. Well, how do they find the murderer? You take two cups of flour and a white of an egg. Get out of here! I wonder, I'm not a nervous wreck with this staff around. Where's yesterday's paper? We didn't print one. We didn't print a paper yesterday, why not? Nobody thought of it. Oh, it's a fine daily paper, are we? We don't go to press as often as your pants. You said it. Is there a remote possibility that we published a paper today? Yes, here it is. Now, let's have it. Hmm, well, of all things. Miss Stewart, send in our Broadway columnist. Yes, sir. That guy's been getting away with murder. What's the matter, Sue? Why that? Did you send for me, Chief? Yes, Wilson. Take a look at this column of yours. What famous dessert is that way about sliced bananas? Hmm, that's fine. Well, what's wrong with that? Now, look at this. There's no truth to the report that strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime have tipped. That's fine news. Well, Chief, people will eat that up. They'll eat what, what. That's what I want to know. Oh, sir, did I lift up Jell-O? Well, put it in right away and use those big red letters. Gotcha, Chief. Hey, Libby. Yes, Sue? I was just thinking. I don't care who confessed to the Harrington murder. The guy behind that killing was none other than Nails Mulligan. Nails Mulligan? Yes, and I'm going to print that. You better lay off Nails. You've been riding him a lot lately. And I'm going to write him right out of town, the rat. Come in. Hey, Chief, Chief, I got it. You got what? The measles run for your life. I wish he'd light. I'd fire him, too. I'll get your notebook, Libby. I want to dictate an editorial about Nails Mulligan that'll curl his hair. You better be careful. Mulligan says he's going to get you one of these days and tell you full of lead. Oh, yeah. Well, listen, Libby. Sue, Benny ain't worrying about fat mugs, not me. Hey, Chief, Chief. What is it, Baker? I was just down to 16th Street and saw Cooper's department store burn down right to the ground. You did? Where's your story? I didn't get one. It didn't get a story at the fire? Why not? I was toasting marshmallows. Baker, that's the last straw. You're fired. OK. See you tomorrow, Chief. darn if nobody believes me. Say, Sue. What? Are you going to run that editorial about Nails Mulligan in tonight's edition? Yes, I am. And I'd like to see his face when he reads it. The skooks. We can't say skunk folks. Well, I'd be on my guard if I were you. Ah, forget it. Hey, Chief, here's a package just came for you by special messenger. Looks important. Let's have it. Don't open it, Scoop. Why not? Maybe it's a bomb. Sure, it might be from Nails Mulligan. Yeah, I better not touch it. That's somebody else to us. Where's that guy I hired last week to open packages? He opened one. Oh. Oh. But when he comes down, fire him. Hey, wait a minute. Do you hear anything? Listen. I do. It's ticking. And it is a bomb. I better throw it out. Don't do that. It's valuable evidence. It's valuable evidence. Don't do that. It's valuable evidence. Maybe you can find Mulligan's singer prince on it. Hey, Libby. Yes? Get Charlie Chan on the phone right away. What's his home number? Whoever heard of Charlie Chan at home. Yes, ask the operator to get him. Okay. Operator, get me Charlie Chan. Hurry, please. What? She don't know where he is. Oops. And try Charlie Chan at the opera. I know he was there. Get me Charlie Chan at the opera. What? He's not there either. It's still ticking. Quick, try Charlie Chan at the race track. Operator, get me Charlie Chan at the race track. What track? Oh, scoop. What? She wants to know what race he's in. Never mind. I know. Try Charlie Chan at Monte Carlo. And hurry, the bomb is still ticking. It's getting louder. Oh, scoop. Operator, get me Charlie Chan at Monte Carlo. Hurry, Libby. Hurry. Oh. That's scoop. Here he is. That's fine. Ask him how I can get off of this chandelier. Play, Phil. Here's one of the family's favorite desserts, made a new and delicious way. Of course, that favorite is jello, and there's a grand new way to serve it. Crimson crystal dessert, rich red strawberry jello, and candied cherries in a luscious combination. To solve one package of strawberry jello, and to turn into a shallow pan, chill until firm and cut into shimmering little cubes. Then arrange the jello cubes in individual sherbet glasses, combined with 12 maraschino cherries, cut into quarters. It's a swell combination, both in looks and taste. Strawberry jello has a lovely glowing crimson color, and a flavor that takes you back to last summer's ripe red strawberries. For jello, brings you delicious, extra-rich fruit flavor that cannot be stopped. So ask your grocer for genuine jello and try this luscious new dessert. The last number of the 17th program in the new jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time, when we will present our version of Samuel Goldwyn's masterpiece, Hurricane. So remember, folks, next week we take you to that romantic island of Manacura, the south seas, the tropics, the beautiful native girls on the beach. I'll bet they swim away. They will not. Good night, folks. Kenny Baker appears on the jello program through courtesy of Mervyn Leroy Productions. This is an ISO-broadcasting cover.