 Well, in the years Armist Brooks has been teaching English at Madison High School, her principle of Good Conklin has made his own appraisal of her worth. Now, whenever a position of responsibility is open at Madison, Miss Brooks is the first name that pops into Mr. Conklin's mind. That's so he can pop it right out again. Oddly enough though, he did put me in charge of Madison's Christmas drive for second-hand clothing. I discussed my new duties with my landlady over breakfast last Friday. But Connie, Christmas is only ten days off. Why did Mr. Conklin wait until now to start his clothing drive? Well, I guess he couldn't make up his mind about one important item, Mrs. Davis. What's that? Whether he should organize the teachers to get clothes for the needy, or organize the needy to get clothes for the teacher. But it is a good cause. What are you donating, Connie? I'm giving an old dress of mine, Mrs. Davis. But you're the head of the drive. Is one dressed enough? I was going to give two, but I remembered a Board of Education rule that says a teacher can't appear in public in a slip. Well, I'd better get ready to leave now. Walter Denton's picking me up soon. Oh, before you go, Connie, do you still plan on doing your Christmas shopping this afternoon? Yes, indeed, Mrs. Davis. I've got the twenty-five dollars I saved up this year right in this envelope. Good. I made out a little Christmas list of my own. I figured that with you being downtown anyway, and me having so many things to do around the house, you wouldn't mind making a few simple purchases for me. I'd be glad to, Mrs. Davis. What do you want me to get? I've got the names and the presents, all itemized, Connie. And here's twenty-five dollars I've saved up. How many presents do you want me to get? Just for the immediate family. My sister Angela, my brother Victor, a couple of cousins. It only comes to twelve gifts altogether. Are you sure you don't mind doing my shopping for me, Connie? Not at all, Mrs. Davis. I just have one problem. What's that? Who will I get to do mine? It was very nice of you to secure those old clothes from your friends and neighbors, Walter. You must have put quite a lot of effort into this drive. For sweet charity in you, I'd bust a gut. The word is burst. I like my contribution, Mrs. Brooks. It's lovely, Walter. Some old lady will be delighted with this lace shawl. That's my old sweatshirt. I guess the moths took a taste of it. The moths left a taste of it. But I appreciate your interest in this drive, and if there's ever anything I can do to reciprocate. Well, there is, Mrs. Brooks. Since I heard you were going shopping today anyway, I can't think of anyone I'd rather have select presents for Harriet and my mother. And while you're there, you can get my father's present, too. Why, Walter, you're implying that I know men and their desires. Do you know men? Oh, Mrs. Brooks, when it comes to men, no one even comes near you. Don't rub it in. Mrs. Brooks, take this $5 bill and put it in your bag. All right, Walter. Oh, dear, I forgot my bag. I'll just put it in this envelope with the other money. I'm sure grateful for this favor, Mrs. Brooks. I know you wouldn't do this for just anybody. You're right. This year, I'm doing it for just everybody. You do first year English. Mrs. Brooks, I've got something for you. Well, it took you long enough to find it out. Oh! Oh, you mean these clothes? Yes. I brought some things in for the drive. Something of mine in a suit of Mr. Conklin's. He asked me to bring it in before your first class starts. Oh, we've got minutes yet, Mr. Martin. Just put them down with the rest of the things. I wish I could have given more to the Christmas drive than I did, Mrs. Brooks. I think you made a splash. You do? Some shivering derelict will be tickled with those tennis shorts. Those are slacks, Mrs. Brooks. Just the way they're folded. I'd like to have given a suit like this one Mr. Conklin donated. It still has plenty of wear in it. It does seem to be in pretty good shape. I'll say it does. Why with a little fixing here and there? A few alterations? A good cleaning and pressing? Get that look out of your eye. He'd really like it. By the way, where's your jacket? Well, this bundle was pretty heavy, so I left it in the lab. I can work better this way, Mrs. Brooks, if you'll forgive my shirt sleeves. Now, can I help you sort these clothes? Oh, no thanks, Mr. Boyne. They'll do that at the mission. They're sending a truck for the stuff around lunchtime. At least I hope it gets here by then. I don't want to get tied up this afternoon. I have a lot of Christmas shopping to do. Oh, I see. Mrs. Brooks, come on. Can I ask you something? I've got to clean up my lab today, and, well, if you're going to be downtown anyway, well, it would be simpler than to leave the selection of my parents' gifts to you. Your parents' gifts? Yes, and my aunt, Maddie, Uncle Fred, and my nephews. Here's my list, Mrs. Brooks, and here's $20. As the kids say, you're a living doll. I'm a dead duck. All right, Mr. Boyne, I'll just slip your money. Mr. Boyne, I'll just slip your money into this envelope with Mrs. Davis', Walder's, and mine. Well, Walder and Mrs. Davis have money in there, too? Yes, they've also subscribed to the Brooks shopping service. Now, I've got to get over to the home economics room. The kids in there were supposed to collect some stuff for the drive. Oh, I'll give you a hand, Mrs. Brooks. I'll take it. Oh, first I'd better put this envelope in my desk. Oh, dear, it's locked, and I left the key at home in my bag. Would you mind putting the envelope in your trouser pocket, Mr. Boyne? Well, this is a trifle embarrassing, Mrs. Brooks, but I'm afraid I've got holes in all my pockets. I'm still a bachelor, you know. I know, I know. I mean, that easily remedies, Mr. Boyne. Of course it is. While we're in the home economics room, you can sew up the pockets. That's not what I had in mind, but it's the start. Meanwhile, I'll just put this envelope and open the breast pocket of Mr. Compton's suit on top of this pile. It'll be safe here for a few minutes. It's safer than carrying it around, I guess. All set. Come on, Mr. Boyne, we're off to get domestic. I hope they've got a nice batch of stuff in there. Mr. Compton accepts it. There's no sign of Mrs. Brooks. Now, I guess the people from the mission got here sooner than she expected. Ah, come on, let's haul this stuff out to their truck. Okay, but, Walter, don't you think we should consult Mrs. Brooks before we take it? Why bother her about it? Besides, we're saving her the trouble of carrying this stuff out herself. Well, if you think so, Walter, believe me, when Mrs. Brooks finds out what we've done for her, she'll thank us till she's blue in the face. We're back to my room and discover the absence of Mr. Compton's suit containing $75, belonging to Walter, Mrs. Davis, Mr. Boynton, and me. I was fit, as the old expression goes, to be tied. The suit itself wasn't worth anywhere near $75. In fact, no suit of Mr. Compton's is worth that much money, even with him in it. But my problem now was getting it back. And in my first free period, I headed to the biology lab to consult Mr. Boynton. Good morning, Mrs. Brooks. Oh, it's you, Mr. Compton. You startled me. Really? But I addressed you in quite a well-modulated tone. I guess that's what startled me. I didn't see you come out of your office, sir. Well, Mrs. Brooks, I just stepped out here to congratulate you on vindicating my confidence in you. That's very nice, Mr. Compton. It didn't take me long to select the right person to head this Christmas drive, Mrs. Brooks. The moment the idea of old clothes hit me, I thought of you. I was a natural all right. Of course, I gave other members of the faculty my careful consideration, too. But it wasn't long before I said to myself, I was good, Mrs. Brooks is your man. Isn't it funny? That's how Mr. Boynton feels about me, too. But, Mr. Compton, there's something I've got to do. Of course, of course. I couldn't keep you from your work for the world, especially such charitable work, Mrs. Brooks. If more of us could realize what genuine satisfaction the spirit of giving evokes, the world would be a brighter place. Well, I'm brightening my little corner like mad. This is a great thing we're doing, Mrs. Brooks, giving to our fellow man. This is the true Christmas feeling. And we must all give, give, give until it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Please, Mr. Compton, if you'll excuse me. I wouldn't think of detaining you another minute. Oh, before you go, how did you like my contribution to the drive? Wonderful, Mr. Compton. It's a very nice suit. I'll say it was nice. It had several years wear in it. That suit always held something for me. It's loaded for me. That's what I've got to find out about, Mr. Compton. You see, I left something in the pocket, and, well, I've just got to get back that suit. Oh, but you can't do that, Mrs. Brooks. Once I've made a donation, I never take it back. How would it look to the folks at the mission? But there's no way for them to tell your suit from any of the others. No, but there is. My name is stenciled into the lining. Not that I wanted anyone to know I was giving. You just didn't want anyone not to know. Oh, Daddy, there's a cloak for you in your office. Will you get it? I'll call in the back, Harriet. But it's Mother. She said it's urgent. With your Mother, it's always urgent. Probably wants me to bring home a paper. You'd better talk to her, Mr. Compton. I'm going in to see Mr. Boynton about our predicament. Very well, Mrs. Brooks. But remember, it is better to give than to receive. That may be, Mr. Compton, but if I may show off my background in English literature, there's another famous parable which goes, as good as it is to give, it's better to get back that which ain't yours to give. Oh, what a fuss to make over a few dollars. Some people are just mercenary, I guess. Hello? Yes, Martha, what is it? Have I had your necklace repaired yet? I don't remember you're giving it to me. What? You put it in the pocket of my blue suit when it's denied? Martha, was that my brown-dyed blue suit? It was, but I donated that to the Christmas clothing drive today, and that necklace had a genuine opal in it. Oh, I've got to get it back. No, I'm not excited. No, don't give me that baloney about charity. I'll get that suit back if I have to rip the mission apart with my bare hands. I'm glad I caught you before you went to lunch, Mr. Boynham. I was just cleaning up the lab, Miss Brooks. What's the trouble? Mr. Conklin's suit has been picked up and delivered to the mission. Well, that's nothing to get excited about. It's supposed to go there, isn't it? Yes, but the money is still in it. I don't know what to do. Now take it easy, Miss Brooks. What money is still in it? The shopping money. Mine, Mrs. Davis's, Walters, and yours. Mr. Boynham! I must have tripped over this stool. What time are they going to distribute this clothing, Miss Brooks? This afternoon. We've got to get down to that mission and get the suit back. Well, are you sure you could identify Mr. Conklin's suit? With the things I've spilled on it, if I can't identify it, it'll identify me. How are we going to go about getting it? Well, we'll simply park outside the mission and watch every person who leaves the premises. In that way, we're bound to see who walks out with Mr. Conklin's suit on. The rest is up to you. What do I do? Pick his pocket while he waits for a bus? Now, please, Miss Brooks, we'll devise some sort of a scheme on the way downtown. Meanwhile, let's be calm about it. Isn't the end of the world, even if we fail to recover the money? Heaven for fend? Amen. That afternoon, a little after three, Mr. Boynham and I were stationed at the mission window waiting to catch a glimpse of Mr. Conklin's suit. Miss Brooks, have you seen Mr. Conklin's suit yet? No, but I spotted the dress I donated, and I've been following its progress. What's happened to it? It's been rejected three times. Hey, isn't that Mr. Conklin's suit heading for the door? Alone? Oh, you mean on the man with the glasses? Yes, I think it is. You'd better get on the other side of the door. Now, don't worry, Miss Brooks. I'll do my part. They'll get it back. Good luck. Oh, pardon me, my good man. Yeah? May I speak with you for just a moment? Yeah. It's about that suit you've got on. Are you quite satisfied with it? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, but look at the way it fits. If I were you, I'd take it back at once. What do you want me to do? Go around in my underwear? Yeah. I mean, of course not. And maybe you could get a better one. There's no reason why you shouldn't do every bit as well as this man coming toward us now. I'm sure he got his suit in the mission. Pardon me, bud, but did you get that suit at the counter inside? Yeah. It's contagious. You say that's a mission suit you've got on. Sure. I just got it. Boy, were you jibbed. You mean to say you wouldn't like to look like he does? If I wanted to look like he does, I wouldn't have turned in the suit they're burning. Well, I didn't want to mention this, but I guess I'll have to. Do you know who wore that suit before you? As recently as last Wednesday? Who? I don't want to come right out and say, but, well, the fellow had his hands crossed on his chest with the lily in them. A stiff, huh? Let's just say he wasn't very active. Don't you think you ought to trade that suit in for another one? After all, its last owner might not like the idea of your wearing it. He might come back after it. Oh, well, only I don't believe in that kind of stuff. Miss Brooks, Mr. Boyden, I, uh, I've got to talk to you at once. Mr. Compton, what are you doing here? Well, I've, um, I've had a change of heart about my donation. I'd like to get it back. Boy, what an Indian giver. I don't believe I know you, my good man. Ferguson is the name Cosmo Ferguson. Oh, how do you do? Mr. Compton, why do you want your suit back? Because of something that my wife put into the... Ferguson? Ferguson, you're wearing my suit. What do you mean, your suit? What happened to have worn that garment as recently as last Wednesday? Oh, it's the stiff. What's that? This lady said the suit was on a dead guy last Wednesday. I must have caught you while you were dozing, Mr. Compton. Now, uh, look, I've just got to have that suit back. It has a sentimental attraction for me, and I'll be a good fellow and return it. Nothing doing. I was handed this suit and told it was mine to keep. Wait, wait, wait. I'll get you another suit. Please, Mr. Ferguson, be reasonable. No. Oh, come on, Cosmo. You don't want that old suit? Of course you don't. Give it here. Take your hands off of me, pompous, or there'll be trouble. That's the idea. You and him fight, and I'll hold your coat. I am not going to fight. I'm just going. No, no, no. Wait, I'll give you $5 for that suit. I'm staying. I'll give you $6 for it. Miss Brooks, why are you bidding for this suit? It's got a sentimental attraction for me, too. I've spilled more on that suit than any of your others. Good. I'll give you $10. $12. $18. $19. Gee, and I always thought they just sang songs at Mission. Now, just a minute. I'll give you $25 and the suit I've got on for that one. All right. It's a deal. Let's go inside and change. Well, we can do that later. Let's change coats immediately. Okay. You know, I might parlay this Mission business into a clothing factory. Hello, Miss Brooks. Hi, everybody. Walter. Well, I'm all through helping out in the Mission. How do you like the way I handle things? You were divine, Walter, but I can't talk to you right now. There's a matter of $75 I've got to recover. Mr. Conklin, now that you've changed coats, would you mind looking through the pockets, please? That's just what I am doing, Miss Brooks. I'd better find... It's not here. It was in the inside-breath pocket, Mr. Conklin. It was not. It was in the side pocket. No. No, you're both wrong. Harriet and I went through the pockets before we turned it into the Mission people. We found Mrs. Conklin's necklace and all our shopping money, Miss Brooks. What? Ferguson, give me back that coat. Not a chance. I'm getting out of here. You people are all bad. But my $25, my new coat, Ferguson, wait! Cosmo! We'll make another deal, Cosmo! When after that bomb? You tell him, Miss Brooks. Well, all I can say is, it's definitely better to give than to get, especially where Cosmo's going to get it. Other than tonight's cast, Morgan, Dick Cranow, Bob Rockwell, Gloria McMillan, and Parley Bear.