 Come, Alex, hope your beauty hope and luster cream shampoo for soft blamorous Corusable hair bring you our miss Brooke starring Eve Arden Most of us a school dance isn't the most exciting event in the world But to our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High the one planned for last Friday night was the most welcome Diversion the more so since I was expecting bashful mr. Boynton to peer out of his shell long enough to invite me to go with him Anyway last Friday morning. Mrs. Davis my landlady and I were discussing the dance at breakfast Where did the funds come from for this dance Connie? We're raising the money by means of a wishing well in front of the school. It's an idea of Harriet Conklin's everybody's supposed to throw in a dime You mean students and faculty members toss in dimes to pay for refreshments and things. That's right, Mrs. Davis I tossed my dime into the well yesterday, and what did you wish Connie? I wished it was only a nickel I Had a very light lunch If you want to know my real wish though, you will have to keep it confidential I won't breathe it to a living soul root word of honor. May I lose the top propeller on my beanie? Well, I wouldn't want you to get arrested for indecent exposure. I Wish that mr. Boynton would pay more attention to me and less to that frog of his McDougal Why Connie don't tell me you're jealous of a frog. It gets any worse. We'll both be the same color I want to see the way he pampers that lumpy brute. He even took him to the movies last night said McDougal just loved the picture What did they see? What else hop along Cassidy? I Think you're exaggerating Connie mr. Boynton is very fond of you Oh, that must be walter den and he's taking me to school this morning. Just a minute walter. Excuse me, Mrs. Davis Hello walter come in wait. Let me look at your hair miss Brooks What poised in the doorway as you are the sun seems to strike sparks from your already molten tresses Well, don't stand there stamp me out Please come in before the flies do I Just got to run a comb through my blazing tresses and we're off walter Would you care for a glass of milk? I just had breakfast an hour ago, but I could always have a glass of milk in an egg sandwich Oh, I forgot you have breakfast ahead of your tapeworm Hello, Walter can I fix something for you? Oh just anything you have in the house will be fine. Mrs. Davis You mean just everything you have in the house Give him a quick egg sandwich and some milk very well. I'll be back in a jiffy walter. Okay, Mrs. D Miss Brooks, don't you think it was a wonderful idea of Harriet's to start the wishing well dance? I'll let you know after the dance How's the well-coming by the way raising expenses? The dimes are flocking in I was in charge of it for a while yesterday Some of the wishes were a scream miss Brooks Especially the ones at the faculty wished about mr. Conklin our beloved principal I never thought he was so popular with his staff one after another They all wish that he would get everything that's coming to him Amen Now if you'll excuse me, Walter, I'm gonna get my hat and purr. Oh sure miss Brooks take your time. We're early Here you are Walter. Oh just one egg sandwich, huh? That'll be all right. Oh Mrs. Davis if you'll just sit real close to me here. I got a big favor to ask a favor Extremely confidential. I won't breathe a word of it word of honor. May I lose my beanie in the downdraft? Well the other day at the wishing well right after I weedled a dime out of mr. Boynton Harriet weedle his wish out of him But did he wish for Walter? He wished for a lock of miss Brooks hair. Oh Isn't that romantic? But why doesn't he just ask her for it because he's too bashful. He says that's much too personal But even though Harriet and I promised on our honor not to mention it to miss Brooks We've decided that our first step is to getting what he wants when miss Brooks finds out He's got it and we'll see she does find out then we'll take our next step. Okay, okay, but what's our first step again? Please there's no time for details me Harriet and my pal stretch all have scissors But just in case we don't get the opportunity we want you to take a whack at it too now All you have to do is get her to focus her attention on something else and then snip off a hunk from the back Say you'll chime is as Davis, please but when water right now is a good time while she's currying herself I Will go ahead mrs. Davis. Here's the scissors just don't let her catch you whatever you do all right Walter if it's to further her romance. I guess it's worth a try Oh Connie Anything I can do to help. No, thank you. Just putting my hat on. Oh Just a minute Connie turn around a second Just as I thought what there's a bug on the back of your dress a bug where It's just a ladybug Connie lady or gentlemen get him off All right now hold still There she's gone Davis are you sure that was just a ladybug positive dear? Why do you ask because just before you flipped it off? I could swear she snapped at me I Here we are miss Brooks ten minutes ahead of time. Thanks, Walter I'm glad we're a little early gives me a chance to expose myself to mr. Boynton's incipient Invitation to the dance incipient. He's been threatening to ask me. I like to think he'll ask you all right He's intensely interested in you miss Brooks. I can tell by the way. He looks at you. Oh, you can Well, have you ever seen him look at McDougal? Believe me they're two different looks I know one is up and one is down Well, I better be getting out now just a minute miss Brooks There's something on your collar and my collar. Is it a ladybug? Yeah, I think so. Yeah here Let me brush it off for you that turn around. She must have come with a suit One thing I'm sorry for it's a ladybug with a cold. Oh, no. No, that was me miss Brooks No, I had to cover up the well that is I should have covered up warmer in bed last night Well, I'll find a place to park and see in school. All right, Walter. Happy parking. Thanks, miss Brooks and a happy mr. Boynton to you Thing mr. Boynton may I come in? Oh, miss Brooks, of course. Good morning. I was just straightening out McDougal's cage naturally It's miss Brooks Mac. Say hello He sounds a little dejected doesn't he yes He hasn't been sleeping well at all just tosses and turns all night long. So do I But you don't bruise your sides against wire mesh when you toss around If he doesn't prove today, I'm afraid I won't be able to ask you to go to the student faculty dance tonight, miss Brooks Were you going to mr. Boynton? You get your own date Uh Are you mr. Boynton? Yes, I was but Mac here I'm getting a little tired of Mac here, mr. Boynton Every time we have a date something happens to Mac last Monday I had to eat lunch alone because he had laryngitis and you wanted to massage his throat Did him a world of good didn't it Mac? Another Nelson Eddie Mac now shut up And Wednesday afternoon when we were supposed to go for a walk in the park you called to cancel that date I had to Mac had a headache. Oh great a frog with a headache. I Can't say I like your attitude miss Brooks if you knew the slightest bit about cellular structure You'd be aware of the fact that Amphibians and humans are equally susceptible to cranial pain by post orbital pressure on the squamosal at the base of a frog Skull can be most distressing now ain't that a shame Yes, yes, it is if you think I'm going to a dance while McDougal's squamosal is irritated your mistake Excuse me now, I've got to go to the cafeteria. I'm heating a little lettuce for maybe I can help you. I'd make it hot for him Well here we are alone Mac Oh Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything to you, but just between you and me Mac You're nothing but a big pain in the squamosal Martin will continue in just a moment, but first here is Vern Smith for bear skin beauty It's bath size palm ale with its famous beauty ladder. Yes bath size palm ale for loveliness all over There's something thrillingly new in this wonderful beauty ladder of bath size palm olive soap New fragrance new charm new allure. See if palm olive in your daily tub or shower doesn't leave your shoulders Arms and back. Yes, all of you softer and smoother completely lovelier all over You'll thrill to the tender whisper of perfume it leaves on your skin a whisper that says Come hither to romance and this new bath size palm ale is so big so thrifty Economical to use because it lasts so long and gives so much soft lovely ladder so fast That soft lovely ladder with it's alluring new fragrance is palm olive soaps alone palm olive's famous beauty ladder Yes, the new fragrance new charm new allure that can make every woman a vision of delight in the new Revealing fashion that show so much more of you. So remember for bear skin beauty It's bath size palm olive with its famous beauty ladder. Yes bath size palm olive for loveliness all over Get that size palm olive soap tomorrow. Men folk love it too After my first two morning classes, I had a little free time Which I was determined to employ in a really constructive manner So I hastened to my desk and promptly did some first-rate brooding It wasn't long However before my rancid reverie was interrupted stretch snot grass Madison star athlete paid me a little visit Although stretches splendidly equipped physically mentally. He doesn't go along with a gag Anyhow while I sat with my head in my hands muttering voodoo curses against my arch rival McDougal stretch slipped into my room tiptoed up to my desk and murmured Hi, miss Brooks, can I see you for a minute? Please stretch may I see you for a minute? Gosh miss Brooks. You don't need no permission to see me. I'm just a student. I Sometimes wonder of what What can I do for you? Well first of all you can stop snag mulligan from calling me names in class names Yeah, he says stretch don't describe me good enough. He's telling everybody to call me sanno Sano, they're the cigarettes with the nicotine removed What does that got to do with you? He says I'm the schoolboy with the brain removed Where did he get hold of your x-rays? Now what else can I do for you nothing miss Brooks, but I was thinking maybe there's something I can do for you for me But stretch nobody calls me names. In fact, nobody calls me at all lately It's about the dance miss Brooks the wishin well dance. It's for faculty and students, isn't it? Yes. Well, I realize it Oh, I mean when it comes to romantic stuff and things like that. I'm no mr. Boynton neither is he What I'm trying to say miss Brooks is well have you been spoken for yet? Not exactly stretch That is I was just about to be spoken for when I was croaked at You mean mr. Boynton is not taking you not so far Then I would consider it a very high-type honor if you could see your way clear to escort me to the dance Why stretch how chivalrous now, please don't go getting any wrong ideas miss Brooks That is I don't think a person should be let on to you definitely not Then you'll understand when I tell you right out. I'm not in love with you miss Brooks That's what I like a nice clean break No sense in dragging these things out. Oh, it isn't that I'm not terribly fond of you. It's just that well There's a difference in our ages. Oh, I know stretch. I'm old enough to be your cousin You don't have to give me your final answer about the dancer till later miss Brooks after all I think mr. Boynton ought to get another crack at you He's really gone on you. Well, it's taking him too long to get back Now stretch, I'm a little tired of playing second fiddle to a frog. I may not go to the dance at all I'm sorry you feel that way miss Brooks, but I'll check back with you after school. Oh before I go Would you mind turning your head toward the window? I think there's something on your back on my back It's not that ladybug again ladybug. Oh, yeah, that's just what it is. Hold still now Brush it off There all gone. Oh, there's one more thing. I had some kind of a message for you It's been bothering me all morning. Oh, yeah, mr. Conklin wants to see you in his office Mr. Conklin, when did he give you that message stretch this morning on the way into school this morning? Well, what time did he say he wanted to see me? He said immediately but it's too late for that now So you might as well take your time So long sanno Hi-ho hi-ho as off my nut I go Thanks Harriet I have been losing weight lately I'm just going in to see your father. Is Madison's esteem principle in a good mood wonderful for daddy I just brought him the receipts from the wishing well miss Brooke. That's what he wants to see you about He's got a surprise for you surprise. What is it? It wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I told you but miss Brooke before you go in to see daddy There's somebody else wants to see you somebody you'd rather see than daddy. I know that could be anybody Harriet Please be more specific. It's mr. Boynton He told me to tell you to drop into his lab as soon as you got the time. When did he tell you that Harriet? Oh hours ago the Pony Express was faster than you kid Before you go you better turn around a minute there's something on your collar you too What is it Harriet? Oh, I'll get it off for you. It's uh, it's a small piece of yarn now isn't that sweet my ladybug must be knitting me some socks Thanks very much mr. Jensen these scissors will certainly come in handy. I beg your pardon mr. Boynton But these scissors won't come in at all. They may be brought in but they most certainly will not come in What you said these scissors will certainly come in handy and I said They may be brought in but they most certainly will not come in and I meant just that Ever since I've been custodian here at Madison I've tried to get people to eliminate meaningless phrases from their conversations I know you have mr. Jensen but when you say the scissors will come in you are attributing a mobility to an object which has none Now tell the truth mr. Boynton. Have you ever seen scissors coming into a place under their own power? I haven't mr. Jensen if you don't mind. I'm expecting somebody even if I didn't mind you'd still be expecting them wouldn't you? But if you'll find my curiosity mr. Boynton, why did you want these scissors well? It's rather a personal reason mr. Jensen, but no, I don't mind telling you I've wanted a lock of someone's hair for quite a while now, and I finally must have enough courage to try to get it Isn't that romantic? Who is the hair e mr. Boynton? Who's lock of hair do you want? It's miss Brooks between you and me that would be a little crowded for her If you do want a lock of her hair, I certainly I certainly wish you good luck I'll have to be going now I I hope I haven't offended you by indulging in my little hobby not at all mr. Jensen and about those scissors coming in handy. I get your point Hey, I get your point about the scissors It's a good one, isn't it? No, not very Our thing what thing I Don't know everything you've got a new baby at home. Haven't you yes, miss Brooks one new one and five used one Six children just think of it Hard not to As the latest is he big reasonably large. Yes. Have you named him yet? Yes, we've named him What did you call him mr. Jensen? No, we didn't call him mr. Jensen. That's my name There must be another route to the laboratory You have a new baby mr. Jensen what is his name his name is Lucy Well, if you'll excuse me miss Brooks, I'll be running along now I've caught you mr. Jensen. You won't actually be running along at all. Oh, yes, I will goodbye miss Brooks Some days you just can't win I beg your pardon mr. Boynham. What did you do? Oh now don't you start that? Harriet told me you wanted to see me. Oh, I do miss Brooks. It's about this morning I didn't like the way we parted neither did I mr. Boynham, but you had to get some hot letters for the king of the croakers Please miss Brooks don't be angry. That's all over now and max feels max feels much better In fact, if he keeps on improving today, I'd very much like to take you to the wishing well dance tonight You would mr. Boynham. Yes, indeed and something else. I'd like to do too right now. There is yes There is would you turn your head a bit, please? Like this? No, not up toward me away from me In fact, you better turn all the way around but why mr. Boynham There's something on the collar of your suit. It's probably just a loose thread here. I'll snip it off for you there Is that all mr. Boynham? Yes, miss Brooks. That's all then I guess I'll be running over to mr. Conklin's office for some warmth and affection Just a minute miss Brooks. You won't actually be running. Oh, yes, I will goodbye mr. Boynham But I got a message that you wanted to see me. How was it delivered by pack mule? Well, never mind miss Brooks. There's no time for apologies I've been considering various members of the faculty for the position of executive hostess at the wishing well dance tonight Yes, mr. Conklin your name was the first to pop into my mind and as quickly as I could I popped it out However due to severe pressure from my wife and daughter. I hereby appoint you miss wishing well of 1949 You think I'm deep enough Thanks very much mr. Conklin and this is not merely an honorary title miss Brooks I've invited several members of the board of education to attend and it will be your duty to see that the entire Affair is run off without a hitch. Well, I'll try my best mr. Conklin Will I be in charge of purchasing refreshment? You will Harriet will turn over the funds that were collected and I suggest that you enlist the aid of one of the male members of The faculty to help carry the bundles. I have a biology teacher in the balcony doctor I'm sure mr. Boyden will be glad to help Yes, sir. Goodbye, mr. Conklin. Goodbye. Oh just a moment miss Brooks come back to my desk, please What is it mr. Conklin? I'd like to take a look at the back of your head Just as I thought Miss Brooks you are hereby relieved of all duties at the dance tonight But I don't understand mr. Conklin. Furthermore, I forbid you even to put in an appearance. But why? I told you the board of education would be there miss Brooks and I flatly refused to have them see one of my teachers Wearing a butch haircut and this is what makes the platypus unique Well, it's all for today class dismissed Excuse me, mr. Boyden, but I've got something you want here. It's a lock of miss Brooks hair Lock of miss Brooks hair. How did you know I wanted that Harriet told me but don't worry mr. Boyden Your secret hasn't gone any further than Harriet and me and stretch and mrs. Davis Get me. I'm in on it, too. Miss Brooks. We're cooked Miss Brooks, I hardly know what to say. Well, I do first of all, I'm quite flattered to learn that you want a lock of my hair Secondly, I'm happy to find out why everybody's had me turning around like a whirling dervish all day Mr. Boyden, you got a lock on my last spin, didn't you? Yes, I did miss Brooks with the lock Walters giving you you have to would you like to try for four? Go ahead take some more. I'll just tell people a funny thing happened to me while I was bending over my mix master Of course, if you'll just be patient, I'm sure some fresh returns will be coming in momentarily Oh Hello, miss Brooks. Well, I guess I'll be running along now open your fist stretch. You're taking all the curl out of my curl She's wise to a stretch just hand it over. Yes, and don't rush off We should be hearing from another hairy precinct any minute Wait a minute Harriet drop it in the collection plate and sit down She knows all about it Harriet, but how did you find out miss Brooke a little ladybug told me Look, mr. Boyd now that you have as much of my hair as I have I think I'll buy you a family-sized locket in which to carry it I didn't want it to carry miss Brooks. You didn't and would you mind explaining mr. Boyd? It's rather embarrassing miss Brooks But will you see I've sewn together this piece of cheesecloth and I figured it if I could stuff it with some real Fluffy hair it'd make a nice pillow for mcdougal's head It may help curies insomnia. I was hoping you wouldn't mind miss Brooks. Why should I mine? He's been in my hair long enough. He might as well be on it Our miss Brooks returns in just a moment, but first Dream girl dream girl beautiful Tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Only luster cream brings you K. Duman's magic formula blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Gives loveliness lather even in hardest water Blamarizes your hair as you wash it Luster cream not a soap not a liquid, but a dainty cream shampoo leaves hair Fragrantly clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen soft Manageable gives new beauty to all hairdos or permanence Four ounce jar one dollar smaller sizes either tubes or jars tonight try luster cream shampoo and be a You owe your crowning glory And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well, mr. Conklin relented and gave me permission to attend the dance But not until I had repossessed my missing curls and stuck them back on with some scotch tape At any rate, mr. Boyden seemed satisfied with my appearance. You look lovely miss Brooks Something tells me we're gonna have a wonderful time this evening. I hope so mr. Boyden And I must admit that I'm very pleasantly surprised to find that you're not worrying about that frog of yours Why should I worry about him as Brooks McDougall's fine now? How about this dance? I think they're gonna play a waltz Oh, I'd love it mr. Boyden On second thought you two go ahead. I'll cut in later Glamorous caressible hair our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns written and directed by Al Lewis with music by Wilbur hatch Here's good shaving news three men out of every four can get more comfortable Actually smoother shaves with pomal at brushless shaving cream. This is not just a claim. Here's the proof 1297 men tried the pomal at brushless way to shave described on the tube and no matter how they had shaved before Three men out of every four got more comfortable Actually smoother shaves Try pomal at brushless yourself. See if you don't get more comfortable actually smoother shaves the proved pomal if brushless way This week in Chicago There's a meeting of great interest to American Housewives the Golden Jubilee Convention of the National Association of Retail Grocers it's especially interesting because of the service and convenience rendered to women shoppers by these independent retail Grocers in maintaining abundantly stocked shelves of carefully selected quality products so important to our homes It's through the efforts of these grocers that you get what you want when you want it the Colgate Palm Oli Pete company is proud to send greetings to these 10,000 independent retail grocers your good neighbors and ours Or mystery liberally sprinkled with laps listen to mr. And mrs. North Tuesday evening over most of these stations be with us next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks Bob Lamont speaking Stay tuned now for life with Luigi which follows over most of these stations. This is CBS the Columbia