 Have you ever been watching a movie with your family and a sex scene pops up? It's one of the most awkward moments ever Chatting about sex with your partner shouldn't feel the same way It's important to know how to communicate about sex because it can make or break a relationship Of course consent is the first and most important step to healthy communication when it comes to sex But you might be wondering how do I talk to a partner about uncomfortable topics? Don't worry psych-to-goers. We've got you. Let's talk about some tips from experts on how to communicate with your partner about sex The compliment sandwich Remember that scene in Family Guy where Brian is working for Stewie and goes in for his review? Stewie uses the compliment sandwich to give him feedback He starts by telling Brian the things he's good at before telling him the long list of things he has to work on Family and marriage therapist Dr. Julianna Morris recommends using the compliment sandwich technique If you want to change something or try something new in your sex life This means you start and end with a compliment but put areas of improvement in the middle So compliments are like the slices of bread and the things we want to improve or change are the yummy stuff in between This technique can make it easier to approach sensitive topics like sex gently This technique is useful not only for your sex life, but communication on all topics in your relationship According to psychology today, the compliment sandwich works due to the gentle approach Harsh criticism can make your partner defensive which can make it difficult for them to be vulnerable and truly listen to what you're telling them But when you begin the conversation on a positive note, this allows for an open conversation without the walls going up a part of the plan Bringing up your sex life at the wrong time can be awkward Reading the room and knowing when to start the conversation with your partner is key But how can you tell when it's the right time? Dr. Emily Morris who holds a doctorate in human sexuality and hosts the podcast sex with Emily Explains that it's best not to talk about sex while you're having it No one wants constructive criticism in the middle of spicy time If there's something you'd like to talk about with your partner It's best to choose a neutral time and location to start the conversation with them This could be when you're chilling on the couch together or after watching a show Imagine you just got done with work and you had a day of meetings topped off by your boss writing you up for something really small and stupid Would you be happy about your partner approaching you for a chat about your sex life? Most likely not Sex therapist Dr. Nan Wise recommends planning the conversation ahead of time with your partner If something in your sex life needs to be addressed You can set up a time and day with your partner to talk about it one where you both are likely to be in relaxed positive headspaces When this time comes if one of you is stressed or just not in the mood to have the conversation Simply plan to talk about it another day But you must be sure to keep yourselves accountable Just make sure you're both available and prepared for the conversation no sneak attacks to cause those barriers to go up Speak to listen We've all been reprimanded by a teacher or adult who keeps talking or yelling and doesn't take a moment to hear your side of the story When talking to your partner about your sex life, don't be that person According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships Open sexual community is strongly associated with higher relationship satisfaction As you are sharing your wants and needs with your partner remember to pause and listen intently to what they want According to the Baylor College of Medicine an effective way to be a good active listener when talking about sex is to ask clarifying questions To do this you can restate what your partner said in different words so that they know you're really hearing them This also gives them a chance to clear up any misunderstandings for example when they share something with you you could respond I'm hearing you say Insert your partner's request. Did I understand that right? Sharing the spotlight in heavy conversations like your sex life with your partner is a great tip for having a healthy conversation about your sex life However, you choose to communicate with your partner about sex. It should be healthy respectful and consensual You can also apply these communication tips to other areas of your relationship like emotional needs or even budgeting If you try any of these tips, let us know how it goes in the comments. Are there any others? We didn't mention what works for you We hope you got some good advice from this video and if you did like share and subscribe. We'll see you next time