 Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast I am your host Rob dial and if you have not yet done So hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode and if you love this podcast Please do me a favor give us a rating and review however you listen to us Just pull your phone out go to Apple podcast or go to Spotify and give us a rating and review The reason why is because when we get more and more positive ratings and reviews on those platforms They show this to people who have never listened to it before and that way this message gets spread So if you love this there's probably someone else out there that would love it But they've never found it before and by giving us a rating view it actually might help them find it So if you do that, I would greatly greatly appreciate it today. We're gonna be talking about how to truly Authentically be yourself. I'm gonna talk about how to not give your power away to other people And I want to tell you a little bit of a story You know if you've been listening to me for a while you have a pretty good idea that this podcast is short It's to the point. It's no BS. I am not the type of person like sugarcoating and I happen to cuss in this podcast I love cussing. I think that it's great. I think that I had so much flavor to a sentence You know to say oh man what I went through was really hard Or you can say what I went through was really fucking hard Like there's just so much more flavor that it brings now with that I want you to understand this my first I'm over 1,500 episodes this podcast down my first 650 podcast episodes I almost cussed I probably cussed five times in 650 episodes and what I felt like was that I was not truly Authentically being myself and if you come around me if you come around my house around my friends if you're around my family I and I'm around them. I cuss. I don't hold back I am truly who I am in front of myself in front of other people But then when I got under the podcast, I realized that I wasn't being true to myself or authentic What's really crazy though is that once I started cussing me and truly authentically myself the podcast started exploding And it's not like I'm trying to be somebody else. Not like I'm like, oh, you know what Gary Vandercut cusses So I'm gonna cuss. Oh Tony Robbins cusses. So I'm gonna cuss. No, I'm just trying to fully be myself And do I you could literally look right now. Do I get reviews? I had one last week that was that gave me four out of five stars I love his content, but I hate city cut. I hate that he cusses It's just who I am and so people will send me messages. I get them all the time on Instagram. Hey, can you stop cussing? Hey, stop cussing. I love your message, but would you stop cussing? The answer is no because that's just who I am and so we have to realize At some point in time in our lives We have to decide who we are Ourselves truly authentically and that people either love it and accept it or they won't and the people who love and accept you Are the people that you want to be surrounded by the people who don't are the people that you don't want to be surrounded by And so do I wish that everybody will listen to my podcast whether I cuss or not? Sure, of course I do But why would I give away a piece of myself of who I truly am? In order to get that to happen, right? And so I want you to understand and people are I was like, why do you cuss I cuss because I think that it's great I cuss because partially another reason why I cuss is because a cuss word is a word it is a sound coming out of somebody's face and For you to give up your power in the way that you feel based off of a word that somebody says a Sound that comes out of somebody's face is you giving up your own power to allow someone else to make you feel a certain way And so I want you to understand that if you're the type of person when you like to cuss You're the type of person when you like to do weird things You're the type of person who likes to laugh or be authentic or you know if you're the type person likes to love You love wearing bright clothing You need to be that person as much as you can be that person There's so many people in this world who you are a certain person when you go to work And then you're a certain person when you're at home And then you're a certain person when you're around your grandmother and you're a certain person around your grandfather your mother, your certain person, your mother, your certain person, your, your friends. That's really hard to keep up with because that's not who you truly are. In all of that, there is an authentic version of yourself. Why can you not be the same person all of the time? Why not? Why can't you be the exact same person at your, at your house as you are at the doctor's office, as you are at work, as you are at everything that you do. Because when you have to mold and shift yourself, it becomes really, really tiring to have to mold and shift yourself for someone else like you. Think about that for a second. You're not supposed, it is not your job to make somebody love you. It is not your job to change yourself so that you will fit into other people's ideas and standards of what people should do or what people should say or what words they should or shouldn't use. It's not your job to change yourself. It is your job to be who you are, whoever that is and whoever will love you will love you no matter what version of yourself comes out. And that's the important thing. Too many people have to be a certain way at work and a certain way at home and a certain way around their kids and a certain way around their friends and a certain way around their mother and father, a certain way around their grandparents, certain way around, and they're, they're different people. They're, they're trying to be a chameleon in all these different situations. And the way that I like it's so tiring and the way they like to think about it is for every single person that you have to be different in front of is like pulling a new tab up on your computer for your internet. Right. If you use Chrome and you're just, Oh, I have to be a certain way at work. Pull up another tab. I have to be a certain way in front of my spouse. Pull up another tab. I have to be a certain way in front of my mother. Pull up another tab. I have to be a certain way in front of my friends. Pull up another tab. Pull up. If I have to be a certain way in front of my father, pull up another tab, another tab, another tab, another tab, another tab, another tab, another tab, another tab. What eventually happens when you have too many tabs open on your computer? It can't handle it anymore, and that's why a lot of people I think go into a identity crisis sometimes and a Midlife crisis as they get older is because they're like who the hell am I like I'm a different person for everybody else But when is the last time you actually sat down? You're like who am I at my core? Who do I want to be? Have you ever sat down to pen and paper and ask yourself? What are the habits traits and qualities that I want in myself that I want to be? Whoever that is and figure out who you feel like you authentically are like if you were to be able to Go to your funeral and see what people are saying about you at your eulogy. What would you hope? They say about you. That's what you want to try to become That's what you want to figure out But you want to make sure that you're authentically the person that you are with all of those qualities and traits and everything that you have and so When you go back to everything are you starting to are you starting to see first off? that you are sometimes a different person from a different people and You have to start to think about that if you are changing yourself into being somebody else to appease other people Nobody in this world is benefiting from that. You know if I change Myself and I decide to go you know what I want to stop cussing because that will allow my following to grow allow people to love me more No, that's not gonna work. I have to allow myself to be who I want to be You know and if somebody feels bad about a sound that comes out of someone else's face That's not that person whose sounds came out of their faces problem It's the person's problem who's not free because when they were taught as a child that something is a word is bad in a word Is good that's something that's that is a construct that they are stuck in that is a story that they are allowing to dictate their life That's like Eleanor Roosevelt says you've been listening podcast for a long time You know some of my favorite quotes. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent So if you don't like a word that somebody says you're giving up your control of the way that you feel Internally inside of yourself based off of just a sound that somebody makes you're allowing your internal environment to be shifted Simply by a sound that's coming out of somebody's face and if that's happening you're not free Hey, thanks so much for watching this video if you love this video Please hit the like button it helps more than you know and if you want to see more videos like this Hit the subscribe button so that you could see some more and get notified the next time I post You're not free You know Victor Frankl who wrote man's search for meaning he was in Auschwitz in the Nazi prison camps. He was a Prisoner there and he was a psychologist before he was a prisoner and wrote a book called man's search for meaning. It's amazing It's hard to read sad, but it's also amazing to read one of the things that he says is the last of the human freedoms Is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances to choose one's own way There will always be choices to make and so you have to choose Who is it that you want to be? Have you been able to learn who you truly are now? I know some people listen this podcast you're like Rob. I don't know who the fuck I am That's okay. That's a good place to start because now you at least know that you don't know who you are So then you can start to journal about you can start to write down Start with the habits traits and qualities that you want people to say about you at your funeral Look at that and say is that authentically who I am? Think about who you were when you were a child and think about the way that you were as a child And are you the same type of person? Well, you really sweet as a child, but now you're really hard and your your brash You know, are you the a different person from this person this person this person? You should be the same person in front of your friends in front of your parents on stage Whatever it might be you should be the exact same person and that's one thing that I really strive for and I wish more people would Strive for is you could talk to you could see me at my house in front of all my friends And they come over and you can see me in front of my mom and my sister and I'm the exact same person You can listen to me and see me on the podcast episode I'm the exact same person you could see me when I'm you know Doing coaching sessions on my zoom calls for a hundred people and you could see that's the exact same person We have to realize that you can either fit into a box that society tells you to fit in or Have the courage to step out and be yourself now if you step out and be yourself. Will you eventually get some haters? Yes, people will not like it. They will not enjoy it, but that is not your problem What other people think of you is not your problem if you're not going about trying to those you're not trying to hurt People and do something bad. It's not your problem because if you're truly authentically being who you are That's the most important thing That's the most important thing And so, you know, one of the things that when you look at the five regrets of the dying There's a book that was published by a lady who was actually helping people as they were at the end of their lives And the number one regret of the dying is I wish I lived a life that was true to myself And not the life that other people expect to meet the number one regret of people who are dying on their deathbeds Is that I wish I lived a life that was true to myself and not the life that other people expected of me So Are you living truly authentically as the person that you are? Because if someone doesn't like your true authentic self, that's their problem. That's not your problem I knew when I first started cussing my podcast people wouldn't like it because they were programmed not to they were taught not to I knew I would get messages. I knew I would get bad reviews Which is why if you love the show you need to give me a good review But it's like that's just the way that it is if you want someone to come hold your hand and And and say and you know brush your hair back and say oh, sweetie. It's okay I'm not that podcast because I'm just not that person I am the person who is like my team calls it pissed off passion when I get super passionate It seems like I'm pissed off. I'm not in any sort of way I just get so fired up of trying to help people get to where they want to go And so if I ran a podcast that was slow and I talked like this and I was like, hey You can do it. I fully believe in you. I know that you're gonna make your life what you want it to be There's some people that need that person and they want that person. That's completely fine But I'm not that person for them. I'm the type of person who's oh who attracts the people that are like screw it Let's get down to it. Tell me the brutal honest truth It's kind of like a punch in the face, but I know it's gonna hurt But it's probably good for me to get to where I want to be I'm not gonna be everyone's cup of tea. You're not gonna be everybody's cup of tea But you've got to learn to be okay with that and is it built inside of us for us to want everyone to love us Yeah, we're tribal beings a hundred thousand years ago. If we were kicked out of the tribe We were going to die. There was no way to survive a hundred thousand years ago without the rest of the tribe so did our ancestors have to be a little bit of a chameleon and maybe Kill off some of their authentic self whatever that meant back then for cavemen and cave women I don't know if cavemen and cave women made jokes or a cuss or anything like that But I don't know but they had to at least mold themselves to fit the tribe That was how they stayed alive and for us. We don't have to do that anymore What's important is that we know we want to fit in that is programmed into us It's programmed into the hardware of our brain But how will you stand out and create an amazing life if you're always just fitting in? You know, there's a great quote that Jim Carrey has that says your need to be accepted will make you invisible in this world And so you've got to ask yourself. Am I trying to just be accepted by everybody? Am I trying to be everybody's cup of tea? Am I giving away my true authentic self so that people will accept me? It's something that you really need to think about and if you do feel like you are doing that for certain people if you Change and become the person it's true authentically are will that upset some people who maybe you've been close for for a while it might But someone who truly loves you will accept you in any state However, you are and if they're like, hey, you're kind of changing. This is kind of weird have an honest conversation with them Hey, is it okay if I'm vulnerable with you? What I've noticed is that the person I've been for the past 25 years of my life the past 35 years of my life is Not fully authentically who I am and I feel vulnerable Stepping out into this new version myself and trying to be authentically who I am Is it okay if I ask for your support around this, right? Think about what they might say that is it okay if I ask for your support if they say no That's probably not somebody who truly loved you in the first place But if someone who truly loved you be like, yes, absolutely. I love that you're on this journey of self-discovery I love that you're on this journey of trying to be who you truly are Tell me what I can do to help you step more fully into that authentic version of yourself So think about that. Where are you not truly authentically being who you are? Where are you being somebody different than what you truly authentically feel like you should be? Because if people don't accept it, that's not your problem That is a problem that they have to deal with the most important thing is how you feel about yourself So many people and this is gonna hit home for a lot of people so many people just struggle So many people struggle with self-love and the reason why is because they don't love The person that they've built themselves into because they subconsciously know the person they built themselves into is not their true authentic self And so it is your job to discover who your true authentic self is and to step into that fully So that's what I got for you for today's episode if you love this episode Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in at Rob dial jr. R. O. B. D. I a L J R And I'm gonna leave the same way leave you every single episode make it your mission to make somebody else's day better I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day