 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Fibber McGee and Molly in the whole town's talking with Paul Guilfoy. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. One of the miraculous things about radio is the feeling of intimacy between the people on your side of the microphone and the people on this side. Long before I ever met tonight's stars, I considered them as old friends because, like millions of other radio listeners on Tuesday nights, my ears belong to Fibber McGee and Molly. We introduced them to you as legitimate actors about a year ago, and by return mail you asked for more. Finding the right kind of more took a little time, but I think we've got it here in a play called The Whole Town's Talking, which is a good bet to keep the whole country listening to the return engagement of Fibber McGee and Molly in the Lux Radio Theatre. This return engagement will be good news to every member of our audience from Mississippi to Manitoba, and we've just received a letter from Manitoba that I'm sure will interest you. It's from a woman in the town of Portage La Prairie who writes, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your splendid plays. They make Monday the highlight of our week. As you probably know, we on the prairies are going through rather hard times. Grasshopper plagues, drought, hail and wind have all taken their toll, and we don't have a lot of money for entertainment. So your plays fill a big want in our lives, and thank goodness, luck soap is not a luxury, not in price at any rate, even though it is a luxury in quality. We never use anything else. That's a letter of character from a woman of character, and all over this continent other women agree with her appraisal of luck's toilet soap as luxurious, but not a luxury. And now get ready for the whole town's talking, adapted from the Columbia screen hit. It's a gangster story, but don't be alarmed, because it's like no other gangster story you ever heard of. It presents Fibber McGee as a mild-mannered clerk who has the colossal bad luck to look exactly like public enemy number one. And, well, that leads to so much trouble that even Molly can't square it. Now the curtain goes up on act one of the whole town's talking, starring Fibber McGee as Wilbur and Molly as Jesse, with Paul Guilfoyle as killer manion. This is the big news of the day. In New York, seven million tongues waggle furiously over the latest hijinks of the nation's most desperate desperado. But J.G. Carpenter is not interested. J.G. Carpenter, president of Carpenter Plumbing Supplies, is concerned only with plumbing. In his magnificent office, J.G. has the head auditing clerk on the carpet. Now look here, Saver. You know how I feel about punctuality? Oh, yes, sir. Well, why don't you do something about it? I've just checked the time record. The people in the auditing department are always walking in late. Yes, J.G., but you see... Now get this, Saver. The next one that comes in latest to be fired. You understand? That's an order. Yes, sir. These time records show only one employee without any marks against him, number 48. How long has he been with us? Number 48? Why, that's Wilbur Jones. He's been here almost 15 years. 15 years and never late? That's the sort of people we want. How much is 48 getting? Uh, why, uh, $27 a week. 15 years and only $27 a week? Raise him at once. Give him $28. Hold on. Wait a minute. Uh, what day is this? The 16th. Well, uh, make it retroactive to yesterday. Uh, yes, sir. I'll tell him, J.G. Well, go ahead and remember, the next employee who comes in late is fired. Now get out. Uh, Ms. Bedecker, tell Wilbur Jones I want to see him at once. He's not here, Mr. Saver. Ms. Bedecker, I said Wilbur Jones. But I'm telling you, he's not here. He's late. Late? Jones is late? Yes, sir. Wilbur Jones. Of all people. I can't believe it. That reddit can't this bus go any faster. Here it is five minutes after nine and we're creeping along like a mouse after a cat. Mice don't creep after cats, Wilbur. They would if they were as mad as I am. I'll sue the bus company. Hey, bud, conduct it. Now, now, Wilbur, keep your shirt on. Keep my shirt on. Don't you realize what's happening, Jesse? I'm going to be late. For the first time in 15 years, I'm going to be late. Make it 30 years. I'm late, too. Yeah, but what will Mr. Saver say to us? You know Mr. Saver. Heavenly days, Wilbur. Forget Mr. Saver. Sit back and relax and enjoy the sunlight. Ah, Wilbur, it's spring. Take a deep breath. Isn't that a wonderful smell, Wilbur? Confidentially. Wilbur, isn't there any romance in your soul? Spring is in the air. Spring and love. Oh, sure. Now, look at that couple up in the front seat. He's had his arm around her ever since we passed grants, too. Yeah, and I'll bet he has a swell Charlie horse in that arm by the time we get to Columbus Circle. And I'll bet he'll be as proud of it as if it were sea biscuit. Come on, Wilbur. You put your arm around me. Go ahead. No, Jesse, for goodness sakes. Gee whiz. Ah, go on, Wilbur. Go on. Oh, no. Not in public, Jesse. Shucks, you know how I feel about such things like that. Oh, you make me tired. Anyone would think we weren't engaged. We are engaged, aren't we? Sure we are. Well, then... Hey, that reminds me. I hope you never mention anything about our engagement around the office. Seaver hates to think of anybody marching up the aisle unless there's a filing cabinet at the end of it. Oh, the office again. Forget the office. I can't. You know how they feel about their employees getting engaged and married and all stuff like that there. We've got to keep it a secret. Now, listen here, Wilbur. I've been keeping this secret since 1929, and I'm getting a little tired of it. Jesse, not so loud. 1929 to 1941. That's 12 years by dead reckoning. I've used up a dozen diaries and not an orange blossom pressed in any of them. Now, what are we waiting for? You know what we're waiting for. Someday my ship is going to come in and then we'll be all set. Your ship. Have you sent the divers down yet? You'll see, Jesse. It won't be long now. Something's going to happen. I got a feeling. Oh, all right, Wilbur. Come on, let's get off here. We can make better time walking. Hey, mister. No time, son. It's all about killer men. Holy, gee. I didn't say nothing, mister. I didn't say a word. Holy, gee. What's the matter with him? Don't ask me. Come on, Wilbur. Hey, officer. Officer, I just seen him. I just seen him, officer. Yeah? Seen who? Killer Manion. He just got off a bus. Well, well. And what would Killer Manion be doing around here? I tell you, I just seen him. Go on. Beat it, kid. Listen, Killer Manion's picture's right here in the paper, and this guy looked just like him. Go on, I said, get out of here before I run you in. All right. Don't believe me. Copper. Go on. Speak in while you distract his attention. Okay. Say, Jesse, have you noticed people looking at me? Well, I know. Wilbur, have they? Yeah. Like there was something to matter with me. Do I look funny or something? Well, no more than usual, baby. Now go on in and I'll see you for lunch in the drugstore. Yeah. Well, wish me luck. Hi, Mr. Siever. Go ahead, Jones. I'm waiting. Why are you late? Well, you see, Mr. Siever, I bought a new alarm clock last night, and it carried a five-year guarantee, and this morning it went back on me. You went back on me, Jones. You placed me in a very difficult position. Fifteen minutes ago, J.G. himself instructed me to raise your salary. J.G. himself? Oh, thanks, Mr. Siever. You're welcome. But he also gave me instructions to fire the next employee who came in late. He did? Yes, and you're both people. Oh, now what am I going to do? Well, why don't you fire me and then, quick like a flash, hire me back at the increase in salary? That'll make everybody happy. Jones, you have a brain like a steel trap. But I think the spring is a little loose. Well, I'll try to figure out something. Now, you better get busy on that McIntyre account. We're behind already. Yes, sir. Right away, Mr. Siever. Mr. Siever, can I see you a minute? Why, certainly. Step in my office, Miss Badecker. Well, Miss Badecker? Mr. Siever, look at this picture in the paper. Well? Who is it? Killer Manion, I believe. Yes, but who else? Who does it look like? Why, why, bless my stars. It's Wilbur Jones. Isn't it funny? They look like two peas in a pod. Killer Manion and Wilbur Jones. Why, why, they could be twins. Can I post this on the bulletin board, Mr. Siever? You may certainly not, Miss Badecker. And I'll thank you enough to mention this in the office that the employees have jokes on their own time. Why don't you give your order, Wilbur? I will if I can catch that girl's eye. Hey, Mert! Just a second, buddy. I only got two hands. Well, all I wanted was a deviled egg and a milkshake. Well, take your time. Who do you think it is? Oh, oh, my goodness. What's the matter? Killer Manion, Killer Manion! Hey, what's this all about anyway? Search me, dearie. It's the police! The police! The police! The police! Seems to be some excitement about something. Well, they're all yelling for the police. Maybe we better help. Come on, Jesse. Police! Police! Did you hear that girl? She said something about Killer Manion. Killer Manion? Who's he? Well, he's a gangster. Wanted for bank robbery and murder. A gangster? Well, let's get out of here, Jesse. Help! Police! Police! Gary, it's the police! Police! Police! Oh, stop yelling, Wilbur. There's the police now. One move and we'll drop you, Manion. You hear that, Wilbur? They act as if Manion was right here. I don't see him any place. Maybe he's the little Manion who wasn't there. Won't you get it, Jesse? I says maybe he's... Ain't funny, Wilbur. Are you coming, peaceful Manion? Or do we have to trick you? Hey, let's get out of here, Jesse. They're going to shoot somebody. Don't move, Manion. Come on, Jesse. Hey! Hide men, close in. Officer, somebody shot my hat off. Grab him, then. Yeah, grab him. He can't do that to me. Oh, hey! Wilbur, Wilbur, leave those policemen alone. Stick them up, Manion. Manion, I'm not Manion. Watch out, man. He may have a gun. Heavenly days, what is this? We got you, Manion. Cassidy, grab the name. Let go of me! Hey! Listen, wait. You're making a mistake. My name is Joan. Call the station, Brian. Tell him we just captured Killer Manion and his gunman. Come clean, Manion. We got you dead to rights. Listen, for the tenth time, I'm not Manion. You've got the wrong man, I tell you. Shut up! Shut up! But I'm not Manion. My name is Jones. I work for the JG... Shut up! Shut up! Hello! Yeah, that's the DA. What? You did, huh? Good. What about the Dame? Yeah, well, she'll talk. Tell Boyle to keep working on her. Listen, you've got to let that girl alone. Shut up! Shut up! That's all you're playing, Gaga, Manion. We got you and we got your girl. You might be interested to know we just picked up Slugs Martin. Well, so what? Who's Slugs Martin? Shut up! Shut up! Hello! Get me Boyle. You better come clean, Manion. Who pulled that Bloomingdale bank job? I asked me. My job is with the JG... And the Warren City Trust in Harrisburg. I suppose you're going to deny that. I haven't denied anything. Oh, so you confess, eh? Why, certainly. I do not. And if you don't quit picking on me... Shut up! Hello, Boyle. Had Dame talking yet? Well, put the screws on her. We got to get some action on this. I'll call you back. Well, baby, it might interest you to know that your boyfriend just confessed. What? But how could he confess? He doesn't know anything. Though he could be taught. I tell you, he confessed to the DA just this minute. Well, well, as long as he's confessing, there's no reason why I shouldn't, is there? Now, you're talking... What would you like me to confess, Mr. Boyle? What about that Bloomingdale bank job? Who did it? Who would you like me to say did it? Mannion, of course. All right, Mannion did it. Anything to please? That's, uh, girl. And how about the First National Bank at Harrisburg? Mannion did that, too, didn't he? Sure, Mannion. And the Evanston job? Mannion. And the Express Company job at Peoria? Mannion. Now, we're getting someplace. What about that Union job in Scarcele? Mannion. Two guards when you escape from prison. Why don't you confess, Mannion? But I tell you, I don't... I didn't... You can't... Shut up! Shut up! J.G. Carpenter, sir. Tell him to come in! Who is he? Oh, that's my boss. He'll identify me. Hot dog, I'm saved. Here he is, chief. What is the idea of dragging me down here without an explanation of any sort? I'm a busy man. I'll only take a minute of your time, Mr. Carpenter. I just want you to identify somebody. Take a good look at this man. Hello, Mr. Carpenter. Remember me? Do you know him? What do you say? Yeah, what do you say? I never saw him in my life. There we are. Oh, but look, Mr. Carpenter, I work for you. I've been working for you for 15 years, Mr. Carpenter. Well, why, we're just one big happy family. You said so yourself. That makes me practically your son, Mr. Carpenter. Surely you don't want to see your own... Shut up! I'm getting tired of being told to shut up. And if you think... Shut up! Okay, bud. Well, how about it, Mr. Carpenter? Does he work for you? Well, maybe he does. We have a large office over a hundred clerks. So I can hardly... Wait a minute. He does look a bit familiar at that. There, you see? He knows me. I have seen his face before, someplace. Well, I sure you have, Mr. Carpenter, in front of the building, in the elevator, by the water cooler, in the men... I know! I've got it now. See, he's got it. I saw his picture just this morning. This man is Killer Manion. No. Why are you all that way? No, I'm not Killer Manion, Mr. Carpenter. My name is... Who drove the death car? I did. You did. Sure, Manion didn't have his driver's license, the silly boy. Ah, I don't get funny. What about that jewelry store in San Diego? Manion did it. The Central Bank in Frisco. My name is Wilbur. Shut up! Shut up! What are you stalling for, Manion? What'll it get you? Why don't you talk? You won't let me talk. Dad, Raddard, why don't you let me get a rest of the day? Where are they? Who are you? Get out of here. Keep your head on. I'm Healy of the Express. I've just had a flash from my office. What is it? Manion's just robbed a bank uptown. Ah, you've been drinking. I know it, but it happened just a few minutes ago. Well, we've got him here, this guy who says he's Jones. I'm not Jones. I'm Manion. I mean, I'm not Manion. I'm Jones. Hey, Chief, I've got to see you. Don't bother me. But Chief, it's important. We just checked this man's fingerprint. Give me... Well? Something's wrong. They're not Manions. Oh... You see? You wouldn't listen to me, smart guy. Can't believe it. He looks more like Manion than Manion himself. All right, sister. Right in here. Manion did it. He did them all. Listen, Chiefy. I just been grilling his stain. Not now, boy. Not now. Mr. Jones, I'd like to apologize for the whole thing. Oh, shucks. That's all right, Si. I didn't have anything to do, anyway. Chiefy, you mean that this guy isn't... What's the matter with you, Boyle? I'm okay, Chiefy. I just swallowed something. That's all. Excuse me, lady. Oh, Mr. Boyle, I forgot to tell you. You know the burning you broke? That wasn't a raw at all. It was Manion. Sir Brown... Look, why can't I go back to the office now? They just give me a $1 raise and I got to prove worthy of their faith in me. Yes, yes. You see, I... Shut up! Shut up! That's a little sir echo in the brass buttons there, Jesse. Press the third one on the left and he says, Shut up! Look, Jones, I can't let you go now. Why not? I'm not Manion. I know that, but you look like Manion. You'll be back here again the first time you show your face in the street. Every cop in town will be picking you up. That's right, Wilbur. You'd be a toreador for every harness bull in town. What are we going to do? Stand around and hollers shut up at each other? That's what I'm trying to figure out. You got any suggestions, McBride? Sure, keep him here. I'll have the warden fix up a nice cell for him. A cell? For how long? Just till we pick up Manion. How long will that take? We ought to have him pretty soon, though. We've been after him for six years. Lovely. I'll be waiting outside the prison gates, Wilbur, with the minister. Gentlemen, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather wait at home. Thanks very much. Wait a minute. I've got it. Miss Albright, come in here right away. What are you going to do, Chief? It's a cinch. All I have to do is write a letter saying that Jones isn't Manion. Then if he gets into trouble, he can flash it. Oh, that's fine. That'll fix everything. Yes, a little literary liniment in case of a pinch. That's it. Sit down, Miss Albright. Take a letter. To whom it may concern, this is to testify that the bearer of this letter, Mr... Wilbur Jones, the second. The second what? The second Wilbur Jones. Oh. Mr. Wilbur Jones, the second, is not to be molested by the police because of his resemblance to killer Manion. If the bearer of this letter is picked up at any time, he's to be released at once. Signed Hubert Beastman, sir, district attorney. How's that, Jones? Hemingway couldn't have done better, bud. P.S. In the event that bearer is shot first and questioned afterwards, rush it once to the nearest hospital. Hey! Wait! Hey! Well, I'll tell you. I was sitting in the drug store on the fourth stool as you go in, or was it the fifth stool? No, I think it was the fourth. Yeah, calm. Come, folks. Quiet, please. Quiet. Mr. Jones has returned to the office after a very trying experience. Furthermore, I'm sure you all have work to do. To your desks, please. Oh, Jones, J.G. wants to see you. Who? J.G. in his office. Oh, my goodness. His private office? His private office. Go right in, Jones. Jones, come in. Come in. Mr. Siever said you wanted to see me. Yes, that's right, Jones. This is Mr. Healy of the Express. Put it there, chiller. Oh, hello. Have you seen the evening papers? No. Well, don't miss them. You're a hero, Jones. Jones, Mr. Healy has an idea and he wants to talk it over with you. Yeah? It's like this, Jonesy. The paper figured this might be a good time to pull the life story of Manion. And I got a hunch. Who's the best man in the world to write that story outside of Manion himself? The man who looks like Manion. A good idea, I thought. An inspiration. You mean you want me to write for the papers? Like Pegler and Winchell and Beatrice Fairfax? Sure. Make a great story. But I don't know anything about Manion. You don't have to write the stuff yourself. All we want is permission to use your name. By the man who looks like Manion. We'll run your picture every day with it together with Manion. It's a cinch to run for 30 days, maybe longer. Your moniker and your face on the front page for a month. Think of it, Jonesy. Think of it. Yes, sir. I will. I'll think of it. Don't think too long. We want to get started right away. Now look, what do you think of Manion? Well, I haven't thought... He's a coward, isn't he? Is he? All right, sure. Great! Manion's double says Manion's a coward. That'll kill him. What would you call him? Moron with a gun? Well, I wouldn't say... A moron with a gun! Jonesy, you're sensational. I couldn't have thought of a better expression myself. I'm getting confused. Think nothing of it. You're a writer now, Jonesy. All writers are confused. Wonderful day, Wilbur. Yeah, did you see the late edition? Manion's double says Manion is a moron with a gun. Did you really say that, Wilbur? Oh, that was nothing. I kind of got a gift for whipping out stuff like that, I guess. Oh, Wilbur, you're wonderful. Ah, you know, Jesse, in a way, I'm sorry it's all over. Things are going to seem pretty dull from now on. Well, here's my place. You better get home and get some sleep. Good night, Wilbur. Good night, Jesse. Manion's double says Manion is a moron with a gun. The yellow rat, a coward at heart. Take his gun away from him and what have you. Say, I'd like to meet that guy. Yes, sir, I'd like to meet him. I'd go right up to him and I'd say, I'd say... You'd say what? Who? Turn on that light, Red. Okay, boss. Who are you? What are you doing here? This is my apartment. You're a press passenger. That's what you are. Take a look, tough guy. Killer Manion. Yeah, killer Manion. The moron with a gun. The yellow rat. The sneaky coward. Oh, wait. I didn't say that. Keep your mouth shut. Don't point that gun at me. You never know when them things are loaded. Put them on that jaw, Red. Sure, boss. Pick them up, Red. Sure, boss. Yeah, that'll learn you not to talk, Mr. Jones. Look at this guy, boss. He's the spitting image of you. Man, I ain't so sure I like that. Hey, what's the idea, Jones? I can't help it. I was born this way. I don't like it any more than you do. I don't want to look like you. Why not? What's the matter with looking like me? Well, taking it alphabetically... Keep your mouth shut. Yes, sir. All right, tough guy. Hand over that letter. What letter? Oh, you mean the one I won playing basketball for Peoria High School? It's sold onto my green sweater, and my green sweater's right here in the hall closet. Got to straighten out that closet one of these days. You get away from there. I'm talking about the letter the DA gave you. I read all about it in the paper. Hand it over. Oh, you mean this letter? Yeah, give me it. I'm taking care of this for a while. Now, listen, buddy. We're going to go 50-50 on this pass. You're going to use it in the daytime and me at night. It's going to come in mighty handy. That's why I dropped in to see you. But if you know what's good to you, you won't open your trap about my being here, see? To nobody, understand? And don't get careless after I leave. Because if something happens to me, one of my boys will take care of you. Gee, thanks. It's about time somebody took care of me. Because... All right. Now, you just go to bed for the night, see? I've got some work to do. I'll be back in the morning. Come on, Red. Oh, wait. Go to bed! But I can't. I won't sleep. I'll be restless all night. Yeah, we'll fix that. Hey, Red, give me a pill. Sure, boss. Good night, Mr. Jones. Good night. All right, Red. Set the alarm for seven o'clock. After a brief intermission, Mr. DeMille and our stars, Fibber McGee and Molly, will present act two of the whole town's talking. Meantime, I've got a question to ask Sally here. Oh, Sally, how are you on resolutions? Making or keeping, Mr. Ruix? Keeping, of course, Sally. Anyone can make resolutions. It's a long time after New Year's. You said it, Sally. I've been sleeping through my alarm for weeks now. Well, I made one resolution, though, that isn't a bit hard to keep. That's my luck soap resolution. What, Sally? You've been using luck soap a long time, haven't you? Of course, but this year, I decided I wasn't going to miss out one single night on giving myself a real luck soap active lather facial at bedtime, no matter how tired I might be. And I haven't, and it pays, Mr. Ruix. Sally, I could have told you that just by looking at you. Thanks. I wasn't fishing, but, well, honestly, compliments have been coming my way lately. That luck soap active lather care really works. Well, Sally, I think you owe it to our audience to tell just what this luck soap care is. All right. Here's exactly what I do. I smooth the rich luck soap lather lightly into my skin. Next, I rinse with warm water and then a dash of cool. Then I pat my face gently to dry. Sounds easy, Sally. It is, Mr. Ruix. A luck soap facial takes just a minute. It removes dust and sale cosmetics thoroughly, and it leaves skin feeling so soft and smooth. You just asked the screen stars what they think of these facials, Mr. Ruix. I can guess pretty accurately, Sally, for after all, nine out of 10 screen stars use luck toilets open. As a matter of fact, lovely women everywhere are depending on these luck soap beauty facials to give their skin the protection it needs to stay soft and smooth. Why don't you start your daily beauty routine with gentle luck's toilet soap tomorrow? We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. Two of the whole town's talking, starring Fibber McGee as Wilbur and Molly as Jesse, with Paul Guilfoyle as Killer Manion. Wilbur Jones, the man who looks like Manion, tells all. Wilbur Jones, the man who looks like Manion, looks awful this morning. His face is haggard, his eyes are blurry, and he's sporting a blackened blue mark on his chin, where the killer's henchman delivered his sleeping potion. Alone in his room, Wilbur Jones, the man who looks like Manion, surveys himself in the mirror. Can't be true. It was all a dream. That's what it was, a bad dream. Manion wasn't here last night. He couldn't have been here. He's not coming back this morning. It was only a dream. Hiya, Jonesy. Hi, killer. It was only a dream. Killer Manion. Keep your trap shut. What's the matter with you? Oh, nothing. I was dreaming. I mean, I woke up. Well, don't wake up so loud. Here. Here's your letter. Two cups stopped me last night. It worked like a charm. You mean they let you go? Sure. They thought I was you. That's a laugh, ain't it? I can hardly keep my face straight, or should I say our face? Now, what's the matter? My gag was just as funny as yours. It's my stomach. It's all shut up pieces. Honest? I thought you said they let you go. They did. It's that hamburger I ate for breakfast. It ain't setting right again. Is there anything I can do for you? I could let you have some castor oil. Castor oil? You want to kill me? I'd rather take arsenic. I haven't got any arsenic, but I could run down to the drug store. What? Oh, excuse me. I didn't mean it that way. You better not. Here. I brought you the morning paper. Read it to me. I've got to get to the office, Mr. Manion. I can't waste my time. Read it! Okay, bud. Anything about me in it? Let's see. Yeah, here's something. Killer Manion holds up state armory. State armory. That's right. Go ahead. Oh, listen. It says here, you killed two guards. That's a lie. It was trade. Read what it says. Killer Manion holds up state armory, kills two guards. At midnight yesterday, public enemy number one, Killer Manion, cold-bloodedly slew two guards in a raid on the state armory. Accompanied by two of his men, Manion surprised the guards at the armory and shot them dead. Oh, dear. Go on. He then entered the armory and stole several machine guns. How many? Several. How many is that? Well, I don't know. It was six. I can't these guys get things straight. Go on. You better beat it now. I don't feel so good. Me either. And remember, one word out of you and you're out like a light. Yes, sir. Hey, what time do you get off? Five o'clock. Well, you'll be back here at six prompt. Yes, sir. I'm bringing the afternoon papers. Yes, sir. Anything else? Yeah. You know those things you're writing about me? Oh, yes. I think I'll call them off. What for? That's okay with me. Only you'll be careful what you pull, C. You'll be nice to me, C. Or I'll stop being nice to you. Hello. This is Mr. Jones speaking. Wilbur Jones II. Can I speak to Mr. Healy, please? It's about those articles I'm writing. Huh? Well, when do you expect him? Six o'clock? Oh, I can't see him at six o'clock. I've got to be home at six o'clock. All right. I'll try to make it. Goodbye. Good morning, Wilbur. You didn't meet me on the corner this morning. Oh, hello, Jessie. I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't make it. Were you held up, Deary? Well, in a manner of speaking, yeah. Ah, well, famous people are always late. What's all those letters on your desk? Fan mail? I guess that's what you call it. Six ladies want my picture. Your picture? Oh, Wilbur, isn't it wonderful? Yesterday you were nobody, and today you're a public figure. Look, did you see the morning paper? Manion killed two guards last night. Yeah, I read it to him. What? I, uh... I read about him. Sorry, what's the matter with you? Nothing. Why? Well, you look funny. And where'd you get that mark on your chin? Huh? What chin? That chin right there. On the bottom of your face? I hurt myself shaving. I'm a little nervous today. What were you shaving with, the baseball bat? Oh, Jesse, I've got to speak to you. It's about those articles I'm writing. I'm all upset. Well, come on out in the hall. We can't talk here. About Manion, they're paying, aren't they? Yeah, but all those things they're saying. Like about Manion being a coward. Jesse, I don't know if those things are true. What difference does it make? He's a gangster, isn't he? Yeah, that's just it, Jesse. Suppose he reads those articles and gets mad. Why, he might shoot me or something. Now, listen here, Wilbur. Are you a man or a mouse? Well, I never saw a day when a piece of cheese looked so appealing. Nothing personal, Jesse. Now, listen, Wilbur, you've got to go on with those articles. It's $250 a week. If we're going to get married, this is our chance. Did you say married or buried? All right, Jesse. That's the boy. The trouble with you is you've been under too much of a strain, Wilbur. Why don't we go out for dinner tonight and relax? Tonight? Well, uh, you mean tonight? Sure. You're allowed out at night, aren't you? I can't make it tonight, Jesse. I just can't. Why not? Well, my roommate is going out tonight. Your roommate? You never told me you had a roommate. He just moved in on her with me. Well, why can't you go out if he goes out? It's the only time I have to be alone. I see. And you'd rather be alone than be with me at dinner tonight. Oh, no, you don't understand. I understand. You don't love me anymore. Jesse, don't say such a thing. That's what it is. Success has gone to your head. Nothing's gone to my head. It's just that I can't go out tonight. Yeah, because your roommate's going out. That's a fine reason. Well, he probably wants to rob a bank tonight. What? I mean, it's probably bank night somewhere and he's... Now, just a minute. Who is this roommate of yours? He's, uh, well, he's an old friend. Where'd you meet him? Where? Oh. Oh, I used to know him at school. Oh, a college term, huh? Yeah, that's right. What's his name? His name? He has a name, hasn't he? Well, certainly he has a name. His name is, uh, that's funny. I had it right on the tip of my tongue. Wilbur, you're acting very strange. You're not sick, are you? Yeah, yeah, that's it. I'm sick. Well, I thought so. Yeah, that's why I can't take you out tonight. I'm going to be sick. Oh, all right now, Wilbur. Calm down. Calm down now. Just go home and take a dose of castor oil. You'll be fine in the morning. What time is it, Red? Ten minutes after six. Ten after six? I thought I'd be here at six sharp with that letter. I'll break him in pieces. Take it easy, killer. We can't keep beating that guy up all the time, or he won't look like him anymore. All right, shut up. There he is now, boss. Hey, wait. That ain't him. He's got a key. Maybe it's the cops. Are you getting a bedroom? I'll handle this. Watch your step, boss. Hello, Wilbur. How are you feeling? Huh? Well, aren't you going to ask me in? Oh, yeah, sure. I'm not going to ask you in. Yeah, sure. Let me look at you. Heavenly days, Wilbur. You look awful. Oh, yeah? And just listen to your voice. What's happened to it, Wilbur? You weren't hoarse this morning. Well, I, uh... I caught a cold. You've got the flu. That's what you've got. I'll call the doctor. Wait a minute. Put that phone down. Wilbur! I don't like the tone of your voice. Please put the phone down. All right. Please. But put it down. I don't need it, Dr. C. I'll be all right. All I need is to be left alone, C. You're talking awful funny, Wilbur. Are you sure you haven't got a fever? I'm all right, I tell you. Get going. Scram! Now, listen, dearie. I don't mind you looking like Killer Manion, but when you start talking like him, that's going too far. Now, stop this nonsense. All right, all right. Where's your roommate? Huh? Your roommate. The fellow you said was living with you. Oh, did I tell you someone was living with me? Oh, don't tell me. Don't remember. Your old college chum? Oh, yeah, sure, sure. My old college chum. Hey, Red! Come here, Red. Oh, how do you do, Mr. Red? I'm Wilbur's fiance, Jesse Clark. Yeah? I'm pleased to meet up with you. What fact you said? I'm very pleased to meet up with you. Where did you go to school, Wilbur? Barber College? The lady just dropped in to say hello, Red. She's leaving right away. Oh, no, I'm not. There's one little thing I've got to do, Wilbur. Tell me, Mr. Red, did Wilbur take his castor oil? Huh? What do you mean, castor oil? There, I knew you wouldn't take it, your big baby, so I brought some along with me. Now, wait a second. Mr. Red, will you get me a spoon, please? Certainly, lady. Tea, soup or dessert? Listen, that's out, see? I don't like that stuff. It makes me sick. Oh, don't be such a nitty. I won't do it, see? Now you cut it out. Wilbur, I'm losing patience with you. Now stop playing gangster and take your medicine like a man. Here's the spoon, lady. I'll get you for this, Red. Of course, I didn't do nothing. Don't pay any attention to him, Mr. Red. All this talk about killer man, you're just getting him. He wouldn't hurt to fly, would you, Wilbur? Now open your mouth. No, I won't. Open your mouth, I said. You let me alone. All right, then I'll have to hold your nose. Don't. Let go. Let go of my dog. Open wide, that's the boy. You, you cut it out now. Don't, don't. Ah, that wasn't so bad, was it, Wilbur? I'm dying. I can't stand it. Don't be silly. You'll feel fine in the morning. Good night, Wilbur. Good night, Mr. Red. Good night, lady. Pleased to have met up with you. Pleased to have met up with you, too. Good night. And the next time it happens, I'm gonna push your face in, see? Keep that dame out of here. Okay, killer, okay. Shucks, I didn't know she was coming here. I wish I'd laid anyway. I told you, I had to see Mr. Healy about those articles. I fixed it, so I'm gonna write them. Oh, you did, huh? Well, that's great. Because you're gonna write them my way. When's the next one coming out? Tomorrow afternoon. Yeah? I'll sit down and write it. Yes, sir. I'll show them how much of a coward I am. I'll slip you some dope that'll make them dizzy. I'll give you stuff that nobody knows but me. Are you ready? Sure. And don't think you're unique, bud. You ain't the first gangster that started dictating. Oh, shut up. Now, you just put down what I'd give you. You said I'm as brave as the gun in my hand. All right, you just listen to this. When I broke out a stir, I had a gun. Yeah, but it was a phony. That's the kind of a false alarm I am. Have you got that down? Yes, sir. Ah, I put the turnkey out with my hands. Then when I made the turn in the corridor, it was jammed by a brace of malakis. Huh? A brace of malakis. Cops, bulls, malakis. How do you spell it? What's the difference? Write it down. Yes, sir. I pull the phony gap and I make some reach. Then I grab the heater and I turns it loose on it. Litters flying all over the joint. Paper, paper, the star of kill men is killing men in the face of brace of malakis. Paper. Kill the phony? I mean just that, Mr. Spencer. Washington sent me here to clean this thing up and I'm going to do it. I tell you the key to the whole situation is this fellow Jones. Did you read that article the other day? Yes. It's about Manion's prison break. Jones says that Manion had one of the guards fixed. That's right. Did you know that? No. No, no one knew it except me and a couple of the men in my department and we kept it a secret. Now how did Jones know it? Well, it might have been a stab in the dark. No, it's not so. Read the article. It's written as if Jones had been an eyewitness to the break. Worse than that is if he had taken part in it. Now look here, Mr. Russell, you don't think that Jones- I don't think anything. But there's something funny going on and I want Jones followed. Day and night. The heat's on, killer. They just slapped a 25,000 buck reward on you. They're raising the ante, huh? Yeah. And there's two guys tailing Jones. Every time he moves out of the joint, there's two bulls on him. How have you seen them? I tried killer, I seen them and they're tailing you too every night. We got a scram, boss. We got to get out of here. What do you say, killer? This heat's getting me. I sit down and cool off. I got an idea. Yeah, what? What's on your mind, killer? I just been thinking. Supposing killer Manion happened to get shot. The heat'd be you off, wouldn't it? If Manion was croaked, the cops had all settled down to sleep again. Oh, boss, we wouldn't want you to do nothing like that. What are you talking about? Pumping yourself off just for us. It ain't worth the set, reply. Oh, shut up, you dope. I ain't cooling myself off on nobody. What you said? Hey, boss, I think I'm getting it. You mean we croaked this guy Jones and the coppers all think it's you? That's it. What do you think, Fred? Great idea, boss. We're into our pluggum. Take it easy. We got to make this thing look good. You see, we ain't going to plug Jones at all. We're going to let the cops do it. How are you going to fix it, boss? Leave it to me. By tomorrow morning, Jones will be as cold as a cucumber. I don't get it, boss. You're not supposed to get it. I don't expect you to get anything. All the brains you've got are in your trigger finger. Oh, gee, boss, thanks. Where's Jones tonight? He ought to be here, wasn't he? No, I let him have the night off. Boss has given a big dinner for him. Poor Jonesy. You know, he's a kind of a nice little guy at that. Yeah, he was. I ain't ever met him. That's a shame, ain't it? A fellow like that to go so soon kind of makes me sad. Me too. What time do we have him rubbed out, boss? And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you our guest of honor, the man who looks like Manion, Mr. Wilbur Jones. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a great pleasure to be with you this evening because I know you're all interested in the articles I'm writing about Killer Manion. To write those articles, folks, a writer really has to live with the character he's writing about. Why, when I sit down to my typewriter, I always have the feeling that Manion himself is right there with me. Yes, sir. Ah, but then it's always been natural for me to write such about crimes and criminals. Why, when I was a journalism student years ago, my articles about the local jug put me at the head of the class. Jughead Jones, I was known as an M.D. Ah, ah, but that's another speech. Yeah, and a long one. And I just want to say that if Killer Manion could know what I have in mind to write about him next, he'd have one of his hoodlums right here in this audience ready to shoot me and... Oh, my gosh, he got me. I'm shot! Get a doctor! All of you here, take it easy, Wilbur. It was just a photographer's flash bulb exploding. I'm sure I'm glad you told me that was just a photographer's bulb exploding there tonight. Jesse, how'd you catch on so quick? I guess I know a flash in the pan when I see one. Anyway, Wilbur, that was a wonderful speech tonight. Oh, I guess it was all right. All that about feeling like Killer Manion. Now I know what was the matter with you that time. What time? The time I came up and gave you the cash for oil. You remember? Oh, that time. Oh. Sure. Oh. Why, you were living the character, weren't you? You were Killer Manion that night. I certainly was. You know, I... I sort of... I sort of liked you that night. Huh? You did? Why, sure, you were so... so masterful. I was, huh? Sure. That's what a woman likes, Wilbur. A masterful man. I had all I could do to hold your nose when I gave you the cash for oil. Good night, Wilbur. I'll see you on the corner in the morning. Sure, I'll be there. The beautiful night, isn't it? Look at that moon up there. Yeah, it's wonderful. Look, Jesse, you say you like masterful men. Well, well... Well, Wilbur? Well, I was thinking. We've been engaged now for 12 years, and... Well... Yes, Wilbur. Jesse, you supposed it'd be all right if I kissed you goodnight. Oh, Wilbur. In just a few moments, Mr. DeMille presents Fibber, McGee and Molly in act three of the whole town's talking. You know, out here in Hollywood, the postman is a busy man. Do you know why? Because every day, he has to deliver hundreds of fan letters. And they aren't all for the stars, either. No, indeed. We're proud to say that a great deal of that fan mail is for the Luxe Radio Theater itself. And almost always, the writers have something nice to say about the product behind our radio theater, Luxe Toilet soap. Here are just a few samples the postman has brought us in the last few weeks. A lady from Durham, North Carolina, writes us... I have modest sensitive skin, and that's why I've used Luxe Toilet soap for years. It's such a mild, pure soap. And here's a fan letter from the Middle West, from Minnesota. I don't know what I do without Luxe soap, where we live is a hard water region. But Luxe Toilet soap always gives such wonderful, quick lather. Now, there's a tip for all you people who've ever tried to make an unresponsive cake of soap lather in hard water. Remember, Luxe Toilet soap always does lather freely and richly, whether the water is hard or salt. And now listen to what Luxe soap is doing for the younger generation of Michigan Way. For years, I've used Luxe Toilet soap as my daily complexion care. Now it's my baby soap too. He's almost a year old, and believe me, he appreciates his daily Luxe soap bath. Maybe you think our Luxe soap fan mail is old from the ladies. Well, it isn't, not by a long shot. Here's a typical letter from a male admirer. Why don't you tell the men in your audience what a swell soap Luxe is? I'm no sissy, but the skin on my face is sensitive, so I have to be careful what soap I use. Well, Luxe is the answer. It's mild and gives such smooth, abundant lather. And when it comes to the bath, shower, or tub, it's aces. Well, there you are, ladies and gentlemen. North, east, south, and west. That's a typical cross-section of the Luxe soap fan mail. And now wonder, it's one of the most popular soaps in the whole USA. When you unwrap a cake of this smooth white soap, you can be sure that you're using the finest soap money can buy. Yes, even if you paid a dollar a cake, instead of the few pennies you did pay for that cake of Luxe toilet soap, it couldn't be made from finer or purer ingredients. So why not join all the smart people who found that they can get a lot of luxury at very small cost? Get three cakes of Luxe toilet soap tomorrow. And now, our producer, Mr. DeMille. The curtain rises on the third act of the whole town's talking. Following day dawns bright and clear. The day on which Wilbur Jones is to be rubbed out. Killer Manion's trap has been well laid. And the unsuspecting Wilbur is about to put his foot in it. Sit down, Jones. I want to speak to you. I can't stop now, Mr. Manion. I got to get to the office. I've got to get out the McIntyre account. Oh, you don't have to worry about that. But Mr. Siever will be mad. You don't have to worry about that. You don't have to worry about him either. After today, Jonesy, you won't worry about nothing. I won't? No, Jonesy. I've been pretty hard on you. I got no business to ask favors of you, but I got a hunch, Jonesy. You see, I'm like a lot of other great guys, Jonesy. I act on hunches. Yeah, I kind of do myself sometimes. I mind one time in Fioria. Skip it. Listen, Jonesy, I got a hunch that I'm never going to get out of this town alive. Oh, that would be too bad, I guess. When Red and I make our break tonight, I got a terrific hunch that we ain't going to make it. You're going to try to leave town tonight? Jonesy, if I let you go now, will you promise not to tell? If I let you walk out of here right now, can I depend on your sportsmanship, not to tell the cops or anybody about our try and a getaway tonight? Well, if it's a matter of honor, Mr. Mannion, you can trust me. Gee, that's swell. Now, before you go, Jonesy, I want you to do me and me old lady a favor. Your old lady? My mother. Have you got a mother? Sure, Jonesy. A little gray-haired lady. What do you say, Jonesy? Well, if it's a favor for your mother. That's that stuff. Now, you see this envelope, Jonesy? Yeah. Well, there's $10,000 in this envelope. I want you to take it to the First National Bank and put it in a safe deposit box. Then, when they croak me, I want you to take it out and send it to my mother. Her name and address is inside the envelope with the money. Will you do this one last thing for me? Will you? Well, I'll do it for your mother. Gee, that's swell. Thanks, Jonesy. Now, you better get going. The First National, and don't forget it. Yeah, but what about my pass? My letter from the district attorney. You took it from me last night. Where is it? Gee, Jonesy, I've been careless. I lost it. Lost it? But how will I get to the First National Bank without being stopped? Who do you think I am, the invisible man? Yeah, I thought of that. You can stick on a disguise. I've done it myself lots of times. Here, look. You see? What is it? It's a mustache. Yeah, I put it on you. How's it feel? It tickles. Look at yourself in the glass, Jonesy. Would you know yourself? Say, it does make a difference, doesn't it? I don't look like the same man. I look kind of like Ronald Coleman. I, they wouldn't know you in a million years. Now get going. As soon as you've planted the dough for me, you're a free man. Okay, I'll do it. Stick the dough in your poke. Where? Your poke, your pocketbook, wallet. Oh, okay. So long, Mr. Manny. So long, Jonesy, and good luck. Hello. Give me the police department. That was nice work, killer. I'd have fallen for it myself. Shut up. Hello, police department. I got a tip for you. Manion's on his way to the First National Bank. He's gonna pull a job single-handed. He's wearing a black hat and a phony mustache. Yeah, and you better shoot on sight, because he's got a gun. Oil the suspencer. We just had a hot tip. Manion's gonna stick up the First National. Put 20 men with machine guns just inside the door. When he walks into the bank, let him have it. I beg your pardon, officer. Can you direct me to the First National Bank? Right over there, buddy. Thank you very much. Boy, what a disguise. Never even recognized me. Hello, Wilbur. What do you do with that mustache on? Jesse. Where'd you get it, Wilbur? You didn't grow it overnight, did you? Jesse, keep quiet. Don't say a word. What are we being so quiet about? Shh. Listen, I've got to get to the First National Bank. What's that got to do with you wearing a mustache? Nothing. I'm in disguise. Not as far as I'm concerned, you're not. Look, Jesse, let me alone, will you? I've got an errand to do for a little old lady. How old? I don't know, but I've got to get to that bank. Well, come on, I'll go in with you. All right, but don't speak to me. Here's the door here. Go ahead, Wilbur. Yeah. Oh, wait. Wait, it's gone. What's gone? You must ask? No, no, the envelope with the money. What envelope? What money? Oh, I can't tell you. Oh, where did I lose that money? Where did I lose it? Wilbur, what are you raving about? I must have dropped it back at the apartment. Wilbur, something's very fishy here. Jesse, I can't explain it now. I've got to go home. Goodbye. Wilbur! Wilbur, wait, Wilbur! Hello? Hello? I told you to get him when he walked into the bank. All right, never mind the excuses. I want to kill a manion and I want him today. Let me in. I lost the money. Let me in. Oh, hello, boss. Is it all over? Who are you? Me? What's the matter, killer? Don't you know me? I'm Harry. What are you doing here? Oh, boss, stop riding me. You told me to wait here till he bumped off Jones. What did you say? Jones? Jones? Is he croaked jet? Croaked? No, I don't think so. Ah, you should have let me get him, killer. I'd have cooled him off right. Hey, hey, I got to get out of here. One side, bud, or Harry. You want me to come alone? No, no, no. You stay here. I want to be alone for a while. Hey, killer, what's the matter with you? You're talking funny, killer. Funny? What's funny? Is your face changing, killer? Yeah, yeah, I... I got a call, see. My throat's sore. It's... it's laryngeal sinus. Well, why don't you gargle with something? Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll get out the drugstore and get something. Now, so long, Harry. Keep an eye on the joint. So long, boss. Just a minute, Wilbur. Oh, my gosh. Out of my way, sister. I'm in a hurry, see. You sit right down there and listen to me, Wilbur. What's this all about? Yeah, yeah, what's it all about, killer? Who's the mom? Don't pay no attention to her. She's just a squite, I know. Come on, Jesse, scram. A squite. That's fine talk, Wilbur Jones. Hey, killer, she's calling you Jones. His name ain't Jones, lady. He's killer Manion. Oh, he is, isn't he? Scram, Jesse, scram. I will not scram. You're not fooling me, Wilbur. There's something going on here, and I want to know what it is. Jesse, please. Sit down. Sit down. Hey, just a minute, lady. You can't talk to the killer like that. You want I should cool her off for us? No. Give me the word, and I'll plug her. I put that gun... Put that rod away. I'm running things around here, see? I'm the killer. You're Wilbur Jones and stop this nonsense. I'm the killer. Killer Manion. For heaven's sakes, believe me. Oh, I'm getting all mixed up. Yeah, there's nothing to be mixed up about. I know this man. I ought to. I've been engaged to him for 12 years. Well, you never told me that killer. Congratulations. Thanks. Jesse, will you get out of here? Not until we get this straightened out. You're in some kind of trouble, and I'm here to help you. Jesse, you're helping me into my grave. You know, this is very funny, killer. Oh, you think so, huh? Well, what's so funny about it? Well, this thing says you're engaged. Well, what of it? Nothing, except I don't think your wife is gonna like it. Why, he hasn't got a wife. No? Sure I have. Sure I have. You remember, Jesse. I told you about Gordy. Gordy who? Her name is Mabel. That's what I said. Oh, my brain is in a whirl here. Oh, it's no use, Wilbur. You might as well stop pretending. I don't know what your game is, but I'm tired of being it. Oh, I need some fresh air. Can I open a window, boss? Yeah, sure. Kick the wall down for all I care. Yeah, thanks, boss. Jesse, listen. We gotta get out of here. This guy thinks I'm killer minion. Yes, and so do you. I do not. Well, then why do you keep talking like him? Jesse, try to understand. If he thinks I'm Jones, he'll cool me off. What? Cool me off. Plug me. Kill me. Hey, boss, look who's coming down the street. Who? The killer. The killer? Yeah, killer minion. He just kind of did it today, say. Hey, hey, Dave, wait. Something just come to me. Now, listen, let me explain. I got it. The killer's coming here now, and you say you're the killer. One of you is lying. One of who? Now I see it. You're Jones, ain't you? You're Wilbur Jones. Certainly not. That must be Wilbur Jones coming up here now. Oh, tell me it's a killer. How can he be the killer? There can't be two killers, Kander. No, no. Well, then he must be Jones. Because if he ain't Jones, then I'm Jones, and I can't be Jones because I'm the killer. Talk slow, talk slow. I'm getting rattled. It's simple, Harry. Jones must have busted away from the molecules at the bank. They turned a typewriter on him, and he took it on the lamb back here. The heat is on, and the bulls are on his tail. The joint will be swarming with dicks, and we'll all be sent to the jug. Now you're talking like the killer. I am the killer. Are you sure? We can't make no mistakes now. I am the killer. This guy coming up is Jones. Okay, that's all I want to know. When he comes in, I'll let him have it, huh? Wait, don't shoot him. Just bop him on the head with your gat. Oh, I get it. Humane, huh? Okay, I'll open the door. Hi, Harry. Hi, you Jones. I got him. I got him, killer. Did I do good? Ah, you did fine, Harry. Hey, what's the matter with the killer? Oh, he's okay. He just fainted. Just a minute, boys. You can all get your pictures of Mr. Jones if you just take your time. Boys, you can quote me as saying that we've rounded up Manion's whole gang thanks to Mr. Jones here. And I take great pleasure in announcing that Mr. Jones is therefore entitled to the full reward of $25,000. Jesse, $25,000. Oh, Wilbur. You know what that means, don't you? What, killer? I mean, what, Wilbur? Well, it means that, well, it means that you and me, you and I, well, my ship has come in. Go on, dearie. Jesse, I've been meaning to ask you, do you believe in, I mean, would you like to be my first mate? Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a brilliant evening in the Lux Radio Theatre, and here are the stars who made it brilliant, Fibba McGee and Molly. Gee, thanks, Cecil. McGee. Mr. DeMille, to you. Well, not necessarily, Molly. Fibba and I are old friends. He can call me any name he likes. You hear that, Molly? Well, thanks, Cecil. That's okay, shorty. Well, it was nice being here with you tonight, Mr. DeMille. We've enjoyed it a lot, particularly as we have something in common. What do you mean, Molly? A couple of three-letter words ending in X. You get it, Cecil? Lux for you and wax for us. And much obliged for saying this was a brilliant evening. What would you have said if we hadn't turned out to be such swell actors? Oh, McGee. Well, I guess I'd have had to say, ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for a very dull evening in the Lux Radio Theatre, and here's the man who made it dull, Fibba McGee. Then I'd have turned to Molly and said, next time, Molly, we'll try to have better support for you. Yes, sir, that's right, Mr. DeMille. You don't mind if I call you, Mr. DeMille? Of course not, Molly. I'm flattered. Well, Mr. DeMille, before we go home, I want to tell you that you certainly make a wonderful soap in that Lux soap. Hey, hey, hey, Molly. Cecil doesn't make it. They have a factory. Well, he represents the people who make it, so if I use Lux soap and I like it, I think I should tell him. That's right, Molly. A word to the wise is sufficient, but two words may be better, Lux soap. Hey, Cecil, I hope you haven't been so excited about having me and Molly on your program tonight, that you forgot to get a show arranged for next week. No, you know, the play must go on. So next Monday night, our stars will be Kay Francis and Warren William, and our play is My Bill, based on the drama Courage, which ran 280 performances on Broadway. It's the story of a mother and son who face the world alone and the courageous way in which they find happiness. Kay Francis has the same part she played in the Warner Brothers picture, and Warren William will be our leading man next Monday night. Oh, that sounds like a wonderful program to me, Mr. DeMille. It sure does, Cecil. Good night. Good night, all. And Molly, keep your eye on Fibba. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux toilet soap, joined me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night. And the Lux Radio Theatre presents Kay Francis and Warren William in My Bill. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. Fibba McGee and Molly appeared tonight through the courtesy of the makers of Johnson's Wax. Heard in tonight's play, where Arthur Q. Bryan is district attorney, Givay Robinson is red, Edwin Max is hairy, and Ralph Sadan as see-through. Our music is directed by Lois Silvers, and your announcer has been Melville Roy. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.