 Like a full sleeve down both arms and like a little chest piece, but then she was sent straight home from school because apparently it's like in school policy that kids only had tattoos. Did any kids in your high school have tattoos? No, but like, I didn't think it would be a problem. Was it primary school? Did you say? Yeah, yeah, she was she was six years old, but like. Touch. Welcome to episode number 21 of the 21 Marty and Michael podcast. Fully actual. We're past halfway of season two. We are into the second half of this season. So if you're getting all fucking, there's only the including this one, there's only 20 episodes left of this season. And then that's it for the year. OK, so make sure you enjoy it. But that'll be like November, right? Yeah, it's like near November the last episode, but just really bask in it, enjoy it and really just be grateful. Be grateful that we're in your ears right now because there'll be a chunk of time at the end of the year, like two, two and a half months where we won't be. No, you can go back and watch all the other ones. You won't be a new forgotten season one. So just really embrace us in your ears now because. I'll tell you what, there's a break. There's a break at the end of the year. Am I right, man? There's a break. We need to sit down and have a rest, right? We still got a few guests we got to get on here. Yeah, we keep meaning to get guests on. And then we that's not Hercules. That's a different dog. No, that is Hercules is way higher and happier. That is our neighbor. That is how she sounds. Oh, yeah. Fuck. Have you noticed this? Michael's got a red dot right in between his eyes. It's very symmetrical and he did it because he thought it looks good and now he hates it. No, it's a pimple. I don't know. Do you still get pimples? Yeah, of course. Like bad ones? Not bad ones. But every time I eat or if I'm unhealthy, the skin goes to shit. That's the first thing that happens. Yeah, yeah, true. That's how I know. That's how I know things are going down. Yeah, no, it's been great. So our week last week, what are we even? We've just been fucking smashed in some website videos. Yeah. You guys would have seen that we put out a fucking banging video. Oh, how's this? You know, that skywriting video we put out. So I, so easy. All I did was just I call the guy and I was like, hey man, can you put this on a banner and fly around Brisbane for an hour? And he was like, yeah, okay. And like, and then seven days later, there's a plane flying around Brisbane. So easy. Sorry about that. Anyway, fucking out of our funds. In the video, there was like a brief moment where there's a number displayed of someone calling Michael's phone. And that person emailed us and was like, oh, look, that number you displayed is now being getting calls. So many calls over and over and over again. Some random turns out it was a little 15 year old girl's number. So we're like fully had to go on like buy her a new phone and shit because we accidentally left it in the edit and we're fucking, and she's getting bloody calls left around center now. Why would you fucking see that and call that number? Well, what do you say to more? You called, you called the number on the plane. Like, it's not, it's not our number. It's not the first on your list to do when you watch that video. It's not our number. It's just some random person's number. So I don't fucking call it. Yeah, they're probably gonna call it more so now. Yeah, but lucky we're buying a new phone and this will be out next week. So I'll be all sort of. Oh yeah, sure. We saved the day. We saved the day. We had, we fucking drank again though. Oh, we had a few little cheeky ones. Didn't you? It was a big weekend, to be honest. Like fucking Sunday night turned into another night. Well, Friday night I had a couple of beers with the old Tuomba boys. Fucking lemme tell you what night. You can catch them up with them. And then Saturday, I didn't really drink much but yeah, it's not, once you have a few, it's easy to spiral, isn't it? Yeah, and the hangovers are to have in three weeks off, Grog. Oh yeah. A fucking like normal hangover's now. It's like torture, isn't it? It sucks. You get down. You were torture. But we're back. We went to the gym today. And look at us. We're huge. I forgot that we went to the gym. Dude, I felt so good after it. Matt's holding a gun. Fuck you, Matt. Matt's holding a gun. You always do that. You make me all nervous. Well, fucking Matt, you want to be like that. Let's fucking see how he's gone this week, eh? Let's see if he's fucking continued on with his research skills and actually found some good fucking facts for us to talk about. Because it is time for On This Day. And On This Day, let me tell you some shit happened. All right? Mm. Oh! Holy shit. Oh, I want to hear it. You made the neighbor start yelling. Yeah, the fucking hercules. Sorry. Here we go. These are from Matthew Brown. Matthew Brown, the research. Put a lot of time and effort into these. He's a... These are basically like his children. He has such sentimental attachment to these. Don't you, Matthew? He's so nervous, he's shaking right now. Because he's just... You look cold. Do you want me to put the heater on? You want my jumper? No, I've got a jacket. He wants him to go well. He wants him to be like well received. So he's so nervous. He's sweating profusely. His white wholesome shirts just drenched in sweat now. Speaking of Matthew Gregory Brown, guess what I found today in one of our DMs? Someone has screenshot you in the background of Charmie's vlogs. And we're like, I can't believe Matt Brown's and Charmie's vlogs. They were so wrapped and so happy. It must have been an old vlog. No, it was like the Australia Day one, like the first one. Yeah, I did, I think I got the same message sent to me. That's a keen eye, whoever spotted that, by the way. Yeah, that was me. Okay, sorry. On this day in 1998, Katie Perry started collecting rats. Fuck, interesting start, okay. What started as an innocent hobby soon consumed her life as her LA apartment was overrun with rats. She was even seen dragging a sleeping bag full of rats with her while she was grocery shopping. Concerned family members confronted her about the rat obsession and convinced her to go back to making shit music for children, which she has done, which she has started doing again. Was this what year? Cause was it post after Russell Brandt? 1998. No, it was before. She was in the Gospels then. She was singing Christian Catholic music. Exactly. And collecting huge amounts of rats. Yeah, I guess the church has always had rats in them. So if you have a pet rat or two and don't let it grow into a huge obsession, Connor, don't let your little small rat collection or might buy another rat. Don't let that turn into, oh, now I can't see any floor in my apartment cause there's so many rats. Okay, it's just a warning for everyone out there, Connor. Connor is our film, slash editor, slash mate. And now he's got like, what, four, five rats? There's more. And he talks about them every fucking Thursday. And he brings them in every, and like it's just- He leaves them in the park. And he refuses to film unless he's got one on his arm. Like it's like, it's too much. It's like, they really get a hold of you, the rats. He's like a pirate, but replaced the parrot with a rat. On this day in 2003, Gordon Ramsay damaged the eardrums of an apprentice chef he was working with. Gordon blamed him for his parents getting a divorce when Gordon was a child and screamed into his ears for well over an hour. Yeah, I always wonder why he was so angry. And I think it must stem from some childhood trauma. What do you think? I really like Gordon Ramsay. I find him entertaining. Like even though he swears a lot, I think he can justify it. I like his attitude. Would you kiss him? Like drunk or sober? If he walked in right now. Peck or tongue? Fucker, I'd give him some tongue to make you boys have a little giggle. Yeah, I'd kiss him. Say I've not tongueed Gordon Ramsay. Kiss him on the lips just to say, hey, I've kissed Gordon Ramsay. Little lip sucker? Yeah, I'd probably do that. I wouldn't let him kiss. He wouldn't let us. I wouldn't let him kiss. I wouldn't let him kiss Matt. It's too dangerous. He starts kissing Matt. It's just like, yeah, it's too dangerous. You get caught up in feelings and shit. Matt would go down in that hole real quick. Yeah, wow. He'd become a cook. On this day in 1981, Pope Francis decided to pursue a career with his church after a messy breakup with his eight year old boyfriend. Issues arose in their relationship when Pope Francis's boyfriend would prefer to play with his school friends rather than spend time with Francis. He was quoted saying, I just threw myself into my work after that relationship ended. It's good to focus on yourself after an unhealthy relationship. There was just no trust there. Oh, there you go. That's true though. If you come out of an unhealthy relationship, it's just good to focus on yourself and throw yourself into your work. So that's good on him. He bounced back like that. Francis. Pope Francis. What a fucking name Francis is, eh? Francis. I didn't have any kid gone. You're Francis now. Francis. What are you looking at? Matt Brown's fucking staring at Simon. It looks like he's looking at my dick through the table. He's always on dressing us with his huge blue eyes. Guys, cute. On this day in 2015, Owen Wilson was found unconscious inside his car on a hot summer's day when asked why he was sleeping in his car, he responded, I stay in my car so that I don't lose it. I find that when I get out of my car, it gets tricky to find again sometimes. This way I will always know where my car is. Fuck, I didn't even know he was a car person. Well, I guess he was driving around and then you go to a car park, you go inside and that's when you have trouble finding your car is when you leave it. So I get it. That's why he's only in like fucking car movies now. And then he wrote the movie Dude, Where's My Car? He wrote that. Yeah, so that's inspired him. It was always years before 2000. Because he would have just been like, going to the groceries, quickly ducking in and buy some milk, comes out, can't find his car. So it's just smarter to just stay with your car. Can't lose it that way. He's probably gonna be in the next Fast and Furious. He's saved a lot of time. And those are the only stays for this week, Matt. Kind of shit. Six out of 10. Five out of 10. Kind of shit. Matt? Not your best work. You're not looking at us. Not your best fucking work. What are you typing away, huh? What are you looking at on the laptop? He's watching our vids. Watching. What did you just type in? I'm researching. Yeah. That's so cute when he says research. That I forgive you now. I'll think about it. All right, which brings us to our next segment has been renamed to. Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! And there's a segment where we just answer questions that you guys have sent in via Instagram. This one's from Michael Matthews or his Instagrams is MikeyJJB. Question, where is it Marty and Michael and not Michael and Marty? Or why is it? Okay. Oh, okay. Now, um, I think when we... It's because if you listen to it, Marty and Michael, Michael and Marty, Michael is too hard to say or a little bit more static. It's a bit... Michael! Marty? It's quicker. Rolls off the... It rolls off the fingers. It flows a lot better. Yeah. So I think that's why. Yeah. And I think we have answered that in previous podcasts. We should have just put them both at the same time. Well, it was at Markle. That's why we created the website. So remember, this is sponsored by our website. But it should be that you say it at the same time. So you say your name and I'll say mine. It should be... Michael. Marty. Oh, wow. One day they're going to be able to do that. Yeah. Hieroglyphics. Hieroglyphic feels and shit in 3D, I think. Yeah. That's how they're going to have to solve that one. Yeah. It's like 3D printing, but with language. If I was to take a scientific stab, it's hieroglyphics with the 3D imaging printed up the back of it. With the volumes. Because it's also... Well, you've got to control the volumes. Yeah. Mm. So yeah. But yeah, subscribe to our university. Yeah. Oh, we told them last week about how fucked. Yeah. But we did two last week for the website. Yeah. We did Stone Tennis. Painful. Oh, shit. Let's have a look at this bruise and see if it's still there. We did a video called Stone Tennis. Yeah, look at that fucking bruise. For those of you who can't see, it's a bruise probably the size of two fists. If you make two fists and put it on your leg, that's the size of the bruise. It looks like you were branded like they do to cows. Mm. Thanks, Matt. And basically we, well, I don't want to give too much away, but we just smoked a shitload whilst playing. And there's a punishment for the loser. And every three points you lost, you had to have another bong. And there was another video we filmed, Office Incidents. So just common workplace mishaps in an office environment. And we just sort of trying to, you know, show awareness to Office Incidents. But again, it's too graphic. We can't put it on social media. It's something on the website. I'm sorry. You talked to Mike Zuckerberg about it's not our fault. He's a Matthew. Have I seen with that black eye from you? Yeah. It does. Yeah. I broke a one meter wooden ruler on Michael's skull. I snapped across the, like, we thought it was going to hit the head. But when it snapped, it came around, hit me in the eye. I've only just noticed how bruised it is on the side. Nearly fucking blinded. I think it's my eyes, are you? Nearly fucking blinded. Yeah. Matthew Brown. I'm becoming quite flotacious. I've got a brown bruise, Brown. Mm. All right. Next question is from Hayden Rendell or Hayden Jr. 95, if you want to use the tag. Cunts, would you prefer to drink a cup of your own cum or eat each other's shit as cereal with milk? I drink my own cum just because it's my own. Oh, your cum, that's so easy. But it would take a while to harvest a lot of your own cum and, like, by the time your first loads, like, while the time the cup's that full, it would probably, probably dry. Yeah. So you'd have to, like, squeeze milk shit ton out. You'd have to heat it. You'd have to not have sex or a bat for months. No, why am I nearly gagging? Yeah, you'd have to heat the glass once it's full of cum and I'm looking at Matt because I've, he knows, I've seen him do this. So you store the cum in a glass, usually a microwave safe, you know, Tupperware container and put in the microwave for 15 seconds, Matt, 15 seconds and then it's quite liquidy and you can down the hatch for those of you. Dude, shit in cereal, especially, like, if it's not even your own shit, like, fuck, you would hate to eat my shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'd hate to eat your shit. You had, like, 10 shits today. Very sickly sweet smell, some of them. Oh, stop. Remember, if you've got any diseases, send them to us. Farts. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. Remember, keep that in mind. All right. Next one's from Bendix underscore zitter and he is asked, what's Michael's favorite food? I guess we can both answer it. I think doggie style, favorite food, Italian pizza or pasta, Indian or I'm getting over meat. Oh, yeah. Um, so Michael's just, yeah, it changes obsessed with one, one food, literally one meal from one place and you'll have it for two weeks and then you'll have it so much that he despises it and you'll, it'll go to the end of his cycle and he'll cycle onto the next meal that he'll consume. I think the best ones is when he gets a meal he's never had before and he's unsure, so he'll order two meals just in case. Yeah. Yeah. I never used to be able to do that. The hunt for new meals to become obsessed with, sometimes there's meals he doesn't like. I reckon standard though that I would always go back to his pasta and pizza and then latest food that I love is olives. So, he'll just have like olives. Big plate of olives. I didn't know the olives were so fucking good. They're just little faulty, little delicious, little plump things like that. It's easy. It's yummy. Yum yum. I'm more itchy on my nose. Oily. Oily. All right. This one's Michael Cox Instagram tag, mousycox. All right. What's the one thing both of you would never do no matter what and what's the one thing you have done in the name of funnel science that you would never do again? Fucking hair, but you've done that, dickhead. Yeah. But you'd never do that again, hopefully. Yeah. What we haven't filmed that I would probably never do is I would never like, I'd never king hit anyone on camera. I'd never do that. So, that's where I draw the line is that a certain type of explosive violence I'll just, I always say no to even when the other boy's like, well, let's do the king hit challenge, man. Yeah. That was trending for a bit. It's always a bit like, you know, where do you, because you're going out and you're ruining people's days. What's it called? King hit coward punch or legend swing. I think it's a combination of all three and it's, it should be called all three of those things set at the same time. With the, what's it called? The hieroglyphics. Hieroglyphics 3D. Hieroglyphics 3D. Image printing. Yeah. I think king hit is obviously the arc, but coward punches the, the term they're trying to get it corrected to. Yeah. Well, where do we get legend swing? Was that something we made up? That's just something that we made up, man. Well, we're good scientists. So yeah, I would never king hit anyone and that's something we'd never do again. I'm probably, I'm fucked. I'm over. No, I'd do that again, but one thing I'd never do and I reckon fuck doing shit with fire. Yeah. Fire. Electricity. Electricity is always a bit fuck offy and chilly at the moment like over filming things with chilly. Yeah. After that spray we got sent in, but fire. Well, the first time we filmed with fire, we literally ran out. We forgot that when you use a fire extinguisher once it loses its pressure. So I've tried to light myself up a second time after using the fire extinguisher once and the second time it hasn't worked. And luckily we had like a little bit of water, which we mostly missed when we put it out there. Yeah. This is one of the first videos we ever filmed. We set Michael on fire and the fire extinguisher didn't work and then we missed him with a fucking bucket of water so we had to pat him out and fucking hell. It terrified me. So probably never do fire again. Milkan. All right, boys, would you rather cut yourself before jumping into a pool of AIDS blood or get a tattoo on your upper lip with a moustache that reads Pussy Eater. The tattoo and then you get it removed. Well, I get a tattoo and just leave the hair there. Oh, like the eyebrow. Like my fucking eyebrow. There's a couple of letters still left there, right? Yeah. Which one was it again? We should shave it and see. I don't know. We should shave my eyebrow and see how many letters are left, man. Do you have a gun? Yeah. Next week we'll shave my eyebrows, see how many letters are left. If I gave you a grand, Matt, right here right now, would you shave both your eyebrows off? On camera for these fine ringworms. No, sorry. Two grand. Stop it. I'd love you at work with no eyebrows. I just can't do it. I like my eyebrows a lot. Yeah, I wish you could grow an afro. Black label photography. Question for Michael, would you rather drown to death or burn alive? For Marty, would you rather drink a cup of your mom's Peary blood or be the receiver of a Bukaki pot? I'd rather all the blokes just splash a bit of jizz on me rather than drinking. Yeah. Just close your eyes. Just close your eyes and go to your happier place and, oh, it's raining. You're somewhere where it's raining. Yeah. Warm, white rain. A big smile on my face running down the streets and it's just raining. And you just think like that for 10 minutes and just open your eyes and when it's all over, Matthew. Marty, do you struggle with, do you struggle with blood? Because I notice every time we talk about blood in any type of way, you sort of get a bit. Or just periods. He hates fun. Period. He's not a fan of him. Something happened to you. Yeah. I was one. Oh, sorry. I was a period. Oh, we had a friend and this is a fun fuck story for everyone. Remember when we were in Europe and our mate that we met told us that he was obsessed with going down on chicks when they were on their period. And he said that he'd love it when there'd be little blood clumps and he'd chew them and eat them now. And he said he was obsessed with it. Oh, that's so fucking funny. Oh my God. I'll do some sick shit, but I couldn't do that. He'd get a bloody bit of bread and just fucking wash them. It's like jam. Sandwich. You know if strawberry jam, how there's like glumpy, clumpy bits? Yeah. They, oh, look at snag and stick it out and then put it in the two bits of bread because she's sauce. Oh, she's sauce on the sausage. Surely that can't be hygienic like doing that. Yeah. You think that that would next question. Yeah. I drown to death for sure because fuck fire. It's terrifying. Oh yeah. Yeah. Apparently drowning is nice. No. I've heard the other. Well, I almost almost drowned. I think it was our first story and our first. Drowning is like soothing letting eventually letting your lungs fill with water. It would be so much nicer than burning. So much. Yeah. Oh, true. I guess maybe we try it. Yeah. Science experiment. Oh my God. A dog just walked past. I'm not even joking. Oh, our neighbors are going to come through soon. This has happened before. I swear. This is good. Let him in. Yeah. Bring the dog in, Matt. Bring the dog in, Matt. Just open the door and see what happens. Let's do this. It's a small friendly one. Yeah. It's just a puppy. Looks cute. It looks like cocoa. Bring it in. A posse is outside. Wait. I don't know. Wait. Wait, wait, wait. It might not be friendly. What the fuck? This house is so hidden and tucked away. How the fuck does it get here? What the fuck? It's such a fired up little fucking fucker. That was very exciting and dog ran past the house. Yeah. It's hard to find this house. It's hard to concentrate now. That was so exciting. All right. Back to it. What the fuck was I saying again? Oh yeah. Next question. Wait. Oh, yes. What? I might be shit. Dude, just do it. I don't care. Not on the green screen. Dude, it's fine. It's safe. It's safe. It's gonna be shit. I don't want to shit myself. I don't want to shit myself. Yeah. I guess it's only cool if I do it. It would have spread. It would have gone. I wouldn't. I don't care, dude. I don't care. You're always allowed to shit wherever you want in my house. All right. Yeah. I appreciate that. All right. Last question is from Luke and his Instagram tag is Luke and stuff. Did you know Hitler also fucked cows? Apparently he used mustard gas as an aphrodisiac. I don't think mustard gas would work as an aphrodisiac, but I don't deny that. I don't doubt that he might have used it for that. Well, there you go. That explains a bit, isn't it? Yeah. You're German. He was German. Might be like a genetic German thing. Yeah. Like a small part of a German gene that just finds the rump of a large cow intoxicatingly lustful. Oh, I'm going to have a bite in the fuck. I'm going to have a bite in the fuck. Move. And that brings us to our next segment. Bozy's wagging his tail on me flat. Good boy, Bozy. Yeah. Next segment, Bozy, hey? All right. Stop staring out there. Have a seat and listen to the show, man. His security's all riled up now, because he thought he'd secure the perimeter, but now there's some other fucking little fucking dog running and stealing shit. Wow. Is it still out there, mate? Yeah, I just saw it on pause. Maybe we should put it down. I thought it was on the ground already. No, like twist its head off or something. Oh, yeah. All right. Our next segment has been for stunt time. All right, for stunt time this week, Mark and I, we each both equally do a really painful, very highly dangerous stunt. Both of us do the same thing every single week. It's the exact same amount of pain that we go through. And this week for stunt time, we're going to squeeze some lime juice in our eyes and see what all the fuss is about, because I've heard it's quite fucking painful, Matt. Supreme Patty does it all the time. Yeah. Do you want lime or lemon? Look, I haven't decided yet, but I think I'll have the knife. I reckon if I could choose, I'd go lime. What do you do, the both each, and tell me which one hurts more? Yeah, one in each eye. Oh. I'm gonna fucking do it. I feel like it's on my face. Oh, that's a sign of a good podcast. Oh, man. Okay. Moving forward to that. How was the podcast this week? I spread his face with shit. All right, let's put some lime and lemon juice into our fucking eyes. Come on, cunt. It's stunt time with money, Michael. Sorry, I shit on your face. Let's pour some juice into our eyes. Oh, I can't. Oh, dude, I fucking regret that. I've never done that before. Which one? Get me something, dude. Get me something now. Oh, yeah. Fucking hell. Stop. I can't see, dude. No, I have to sit down. It's getting worse. Is there a tea towel above the... Yeah, I accidentally threw the tea towel on the bin. Sorry, dude. But yeah, I'm sure it'll stop hurting soon. Oh, yeah. It was actually pretty painful. Like, I didn't pour much in at all. And yeah, very, very shockingly painful, isn't it? Oh, dude, dude, yeah. Whatever was on the right, that one was your... Fucking stabbing at you. No. Stabbing at you with the knife. I don't want to move. That's the... I think maybe leave it like that. It looks good. All right, we'll leave it. Don't spank shit at me again. That was arsed. Next segment has been renamed to... Oh, fuck it. Oh, man, I nearly fucked my voice then. And this is a segment where we just basically open shit that you fucking fuckers have sent to us in our P.O. box, all right? And right here, we have a big old package from Nathan. Now, last week, we did ask people to send us their dicks. So, I wonder... I wonder if someone's sliced it off. So, there's something in here that's wrapped. Read the note. And it's toilet paper, too. Something in here that has been wrapped in toilet paper. Let's read the note first to make sure it's not anthrax. Dear Marty and Michael! My name is Nathan Palmer, and I have a YouTube channel called NatDog17. Please give me a shout out. Everyone go and have a cheeky look at NatDog17. NatDog17. You two are crazy dudes and the shit you do is fun to watch and I enjoy. The shit you do. I notice Michael has to deal with most of this shit and is hurt most. To help ease his pain, here are two essential oils to help with stress and get restful sleep. First oil is frankincense. Helps dispel negative feelings like stress. If you feel pressures of life, is weighing your mood, apply this to the bottom of your feet. Soothing sensation and aroma will promote feelings of relaxation and a balanced mood. Second oil, lavender helps for better sleep and is found to eliminate harmful bacteria. Relieve muscle spasms and soothe inflamed skin. You have a lot of inflamed skin. That's so nice. I hope these are helpful and helps Michael. Alright, there's more. There's fucking more. For Marty, a jar of my own personal blend salsa. I recommend consuming it though because it's over 7 years old. I would like you to both smell it though or use your science skills to find out if it's edible or not. I hope this package gets to you. Enjoy the gifts and I hope to send shit to you guys. Peace out dudes. Nathan, Nat Dogg 17. Alright, Nathan. Let's see what we got here. We got some old salsa. We got some old salsa and some oils. Why would you keep it? To send to us. He kept it to send to us. Wow, he's known us for ages. Seven years ago he thought, this might come in handy one day. We've got to have a whiff of this though. Let us determine whether it's edible or not. It's dated the 9th of the 14th. 2000. Whoa! Don't you fucking pour it on me. I would never do that. Oh, it smells lovely. Oh dude, just go over the green screen. Fuck dude, I saw at the end a little bubble but it stayed in the asshole. Yeah, I do that on purpose. I do that on purpose like that man. Good control on that one dude. Very controlling. Imagine if our neighbour came and saw you trying to find their dog and we had it in here. And the dog comes up and says, spraying shit all over you. I reckon that's edible. Smells like Bolognese. It just smells like normal sauce. I'm going to put that onto some sandwiches later on tonight. Don't know about this lid. Thank you very much for that Nathan. Yeah, thank you. Go check him out everyone. That's definitely worth cheeky squizzes. He's fucking chill. I did Google how long Salsa is good for in jars. Seven years I bet. It just says refrigerated one to two months. Pantry one to two months. Thank you Nathan. Next segment has been renamed to Wow, back at you now. And this is a segment where we just do a prank call that you guys are fucking click, click, click, click, click sent in. Families and friends, yes let's embarrass them. Brisbane car vlogger. We fellas, I have a prank call for your next podcast. So the guy you have to call is my best mate Zach. And the situation is that you are someone from Petry police station calling up because neighbor noticed you driving unlicensed. And that you guys have been keeping a close eye on his Instagram. Alright so I'm going to call this fucking dude and pretend that I'm from the police station and say that we've noticed him driving an unlicensed car and that he shouldn't be driving a car like this because he's on his P plates. Which in Australia means if you're a P plater that you've only had your license for a very short period of time and you only allowed to drive certain cars. There we go. Hello. Get out man, it's just a constable Ben sticks here from the Petry police station. Do you have a minute to talk? Yeah mate, I'm just at work at the moment. Yeah mate, we've had some complaints actually an anonymous tip that you're driving an unlicensed car and we've looked the number plate up on the car and it is in fact not licensed and it's also come up that I've been driving it so a family member can't drive my car at all. Yeah, I haven't driven my car. I haven't driven my car mate. It's registered and family member is a criminal. No worries. So the anonymous tip is actually sent in an Instagram post saying that that you are driving it and there's proof of you driving it so just legally we have to follow up these types of claims. So you're saying you haven't been driving it? An Instagram post. So a family member can't drive my car so I can take a video or anything of it. They can't drive it to the car wash they can't do any of that. So the claim is that you've been driving the car. By who? I can't say it's an anonymous tip but it's someone that lives in your area basically. That's reported you driving. I'm pretty sure it's someone in your neighborhood. The only place that's ever been driven that it wasn't by me is in the street and it's always been a family member mate. Sorry I can't help you there. I'm not after help. I'm just trying to sort this claim out. I'm just letting you know legally that we have to call this type of claim and we do have to ask you to come in to make a statement. And the person who has anonymously given the tip out has some claims that you have been driving this car unlicensed with your green pee plates and has actually sent in some footage of you driving the car. My brother's also a green pee plateer mate and he has driven it for me. And we both look similar so we can definitely be mistaken for who we are. So you've just admitted that your brother on his green pee is driving a high powered turbo car with an external waste gate. Is that what you're saying? Your brother's going to have to come in for questioning because either of you should not be driving that car. Neither of you should be driving that car mate. It sounds like a prank call to me. Well mate I'm Ben Sticks. I'm Constable Ben Sticks from the number 737 299 69 to the power of 17 and then there's 15 ones after that. So you can google that and you'll see that I'm Constable at the Petrie police station and I demand that you come over and drop your car off because you're driving high powered turbo cars and you've been caught mate. You've been bloody done. You're fucking fast and furious driving around bloody gut full of your shit. Your neighbors are fucking sending your shit in. Paul Walker's bloody gone and you're fucking driving around like you bloody own the joint. Who are you, you fuckwit? You're fucking driving around in a car like that oh fucking Norse. Norse is it? You're going away for a long time. Let me tell you that rotten out young folk. I'm not Constable Ben Sticks and throwing you in jail. You're fucking driving around in that fucking high powered car. You dog! You fucking call me a fuckwit? I'm coming in your joint and I'll disable that car with my pair of pliers. You dog! Anyway I'm just joking mate. It's Marty and Michael from the fully actual podcast and your mate stitched you up and we fucking got you. You were so scared, Zach. Who the fuck was it? It's Marty and Michael from the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast You've probably heard of us. We're kind of a big deal. Your friend sent in your number. Is this on the radio too? Yeah this is on the B105 but it's going up. It'll be on B105 tomorrow at 4pm. Oh jeez I'll have to listen to that then. But yeah it's not real. I'm not actually Constable and yeah just another classic Marty and Michael prank call. We got you. You've been done. Oh jeez thanks mate. No worries mate. Let that bloody be a lesson to you boys out there driving power cars alright? Have a good one mate. Definitely not. Thanks mate. No worries mate. See you tomorrow night. That was beautiful. I love the cranky cop that you play. Oh yeah that was infuriating. He's driving around in a fucking high power car. He's got nothing but bloody fucking P-plates on him and it's very dangerous. Keep that for fast and furious. It's not on. That is the end of our show. We are the best. It has been determined that we are the best. It is written in scientific reports. We're the best. Thousand year old tablets. We're the best. It's written in the stars. We're the best. We're the best.