 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan as they have Jonathan as they comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic are all men dishonest. I Don't know it. Is that what dishonest looks like? Is he lying about his feelings towards me? Okay? Really quickly if the content here if after watching this video the content resonates with you and you've been seeking help from a coach Then check out the link below to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you Are all men dishonest? Is he lying about his feelings? Okay? Listen, I'm not I'm an advocate for both men and women So if you follow my work, and I know I'm your you know I operate as your big brother your heart protector your big uncle that sort of thing That's why I oftentimes yell and scream and curse in my videos Oh, I just realized I didn't curse in my last video. I better say fuck right now Please forgive me or don't this is just my style But I'm an advocate for both men and women and ladies I understand your frustration with men because it can seem so frustrating because it might seem like men are Dishonest with you especially when it comes to their feelings and especially when men tend to come on strong in the beginning And then start to pull away Okay, so this can be incredibly frustrating so I'm on your side on this Okay, but today I want to explain why this happens and why you need to understand from the male perspective as well as from your Own perspective because the reality is is most men have been taught to stuff their emotions to stuff their feelings We've been told to be a man. Don't show your emotions. And so from very early on we have been taught to stuff our feelings okay, and So this and and most of the time for both most men and women alike They've suffered a lot of trauma in their childhood They've had childhood wounds and traumas both and as well as adult traumas and what I mean by the term trauma You know, I mean it from the perspective of something that scares you something that freaks you out something that seems Uncomfortable and then adults that can happen through divorce or bad Experiences with another human being so humans are riddled with a lot of wounds and traumas that are unhealed and When unhealed wounds and traumas haven't there hasn't been some healing going on their behavior is going to be erratic It's going to be all over the place one minute. They're hot one minute. They're cold one minute. They're in one minute They're out men and women alike So I want you to know that most men genuinely aren't Dishonest by choice because they're really mostly lying to themselves because they haven't done Introspective work. This is one of the reasons why I'm a big proponent of reading the Hoffman process the Hoffman process to Understand why men act this way by understanding yourself first the Hoffman process was something I went through It's a what I call an inner child workshop to heal negative patterns and limiting beliefs that stem from childhood Okay, so by the way, if you've read this book or any of the books I recommend, please post a comment below But I want you to know that we oftentimes men and women alike Choose people based on our childhood experiences. This is why you have to read the book getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks Getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks because this helps you understand something called the Amago The Amago is why people choose certain partners in their life That are not right for them So this is really a book for you not about the men because men aren't Genuinely dishonest as I said, they're just top typically following patterns that have stemmed from childhood that haven't been resolved And I'm sure you've heard about avoidant men avoidant men. Okay, men are emotionally unavailable men are avoidant Well, why this is this goes back to feelings. Please check out the book attached Check out the book attached when you understand love attachment style when you understand your love attachment style You'll understand why men have a hard time sharing their feelings and they're not lying to you Because most men and this is the critical piece of this video So hopefully you've gotten to this point. Okay Men don't want to make promises. They can't keep Let me repeat that men don't want to make promises. They can't keep so what happens is they want companionship They want connection. They want sex just like you want companionship connection and sex But the reason why they're not able to go any further is because they don't want to make a promise Because they're uncertain and their uncertainty lies because they haven't done the work To heal on themselves. This is why I'm a big proponent of my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? What the heck is self-love anyway? Why do I keep mentioning my book over and over and over and over again on videos? By the way, you know the answer Please post the comment of why I'm doing this because when you ladies love on yourself And by the way, please buy a book for a guy Please buy my book for a guy because when he begins to love on himself He'll be more honest with his own feelings with his own feelings and when he can be honest with his own feelings He can be more honest with your feelings. Now. I'm going to teach you a little acronym v at v at Vulnerable authentic and transparent vulnerable authentic and transparent I want to recommend for you ladies to become more vulnerable Stop hiding your feelings. Stop being afraid to share your feelings with a guy How a man will learn to speak his truth is by you inspiring him and by you leading by example So be vulnerable be authentic and be transparent. Stop being afraid Stop being afraid To share your feelings Your fear is that he's going to leave you but guess what? If he leaves you he's not the right guy Now this doesn't mean vomit your feelings all over the place. Don't vomit I crack myself up sometimes Don't vomit your feelings It's about speaking your truth doing it with kindness chapter one of my book And I want to remind you the other chapter is if it's sincere and from the heart You can never say the wrong thing to the right person because the bottom line is this Most men are dying to share their feelings. They just don't know how they haven't learned the skill set This is why definitely get the book non-violent communication by marshal rosenberg To learn how to communicate your feelings in such a way that you're seen heard and understood We've covered a lot here But I want you to know most men are not intentionally dishonest We're just dishonest to themselves And when they when when people begin to do the work They become more honest to themselves and they're able to express themselves in a way That's genuine authentic vulnerable authentic and transparent Okay, is this resonating with you? Please post a comment Let me know this is resonating if you have a question posted I do my best to read all of them and respond if you need support or help check out all the links I've got my books that I recommend all the books are recommended in the description And I've got a great group called midlife love mastery that you may want to check out It's very inexpensive to get direct access with me. All right. I'm going to wrap up this video As I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic job to bear hug of self love I'm going to reach into the gamma and give you a hug of love I'm going to ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now