 We are again, again, 21convention.com, Melbourne, Australia. I always want to say Florida, which is like the worst city in Florida. Anyway, we are here with James from Social Coach. Back in the past, one of the highest rated instructors for charisma arts and company that I think we're all familiar with. I know about it's the one that Juggler, the famous Wayne started, as well as working directly with Social Coach right now with eight female trainers, understanding women and learning how to be social, truly present yourself as a man. Here we are. James, pleasure. Thank you very much. Great, great. I've been doing this about six and a half years. And one of the biggest epiphanies I had was when I was coaching a guy and he was just finishing off his charred accounting exams. And he had social skills. He was probably better than average looking. He was well dressed. And he was a really interesting guy. But my problem coaching him was whenever I asked him to do something he wasn't quite sure how to do. He sort of froze up and just, you know, he does step one, two, three great. Then he doesn't know step four. He's like, and he freaks out. And then it hit me. It hit me so hard. The sort of Western education system we have, we go to school and we try to pass tests. And what do you want to get in a test? You want to get an A. You want to get 100%. You don't want to make any mistakes. You've been taught at school not to make any mistakes. Now, if you take that philosophy to getting better with women, how do you think you're going to do? You're going to die, die, die. And probably the number one, at the beginning of my journey, the number one thing I crossed was I realized, oh my God, I'm supposed to fail. When I fail, I actually learn something. And if I don't learn anything, I'm never going to improve. So, and the thing you'll find when you start to get better with women and you start to date, you know, more and more beautiful women, more and more interesting women, more and more intelligent women. And dare I say, you start to see two or three girls at the same time and possibly even have threesomes. You fail more. You fail much more. And because the women see you as more confident, they test you harder. And, you know, you start to fail a lot more. Does that make sense to you guys? Some of you who are a bit further along in this journey may have heard things like, you're on a date with a girl, you really like her and she just comes and declares, listen, there's no way known we're having sex tonight. Or maybe it's a third date and you've taken her out and you really start to like her. And it's like, listen, James, you're a really nice guy. I really enjoy spending time with you. But I just don't know if I sort of am sexually attracted to you, you're too old, you're too young, you're too short, you're too bald, you're too intelligent, you're too something. And then some guys, me for most of my life would go, oh, but we've got such a good thing, you know, we've been out and we had so much fun and we have such great conversations. And guess what's happened? That's my last date with them. As I grew a bit better at this, and unfortunately for me, that wasn't until my 30s, I realized that what you do then is you go, oh, oh, okay, it's a bit disappointing. So, oh, tell me about that new Pilates class you started, how's that going? And you'll see the girls' eyes go, and guess what happens? Half an hour later you're inside her. Do you know why? Because you passed her woman's test. And that's probably the real secret to having abundance, beautiful women, and incredible relationships with women in your life, passing their tests. And that is very, very difficult and you're gonna fail repeatedly. So, on most of my points tonight, I'm gonna try to give you actionable things you can go out and do to improve your life, because you can sit here and listen and get all inspired and go out tonight and approach 20 girls, but you've really got to follow through with it. It's the guys who sort of put a program in place and follow through on this for a couple of months, if not a year, who turn into the superstars. So, what I want you to do is to hop on Google and Google Michael Jordan Nike Failure Commercial. Can you all remember that? And what you'll see is possibly the greatest athlete of my lifetime talking about how I've failed over and over again in my life. 50 times I've been entrusted taking the game winning shot. I've missed all this, I've lost all that. It is the greatest. And that's the mentality you need to have with women. The idea that you can, you know, eliminate your approach to anxiety forever and every woman's gonna want you. I don't know who's selling that, but it's not the way I found it. And I want you to watch that movie, that short commercial, it's about 30 seconds. I want you to watch it 10 times. If you're serious, watch it 20 times before you go out the next time. Who's gonna do that? Put your hand up, watch the TV commercial. It's like six minutes of your life. And when you go out, resolve to yourself that you're gonna approach three women. Just do whatever you do now. Just however you approach women now, do it. If you walk up and say hello, great. If you use some line, great, do that. But just approach three really beautiful women and see what happens. And one thing you'll discover is failure doesn't really hurt that much. And I think you'll discover is really beautiful women tend to be pretty sweet if guys approach them with a genuine desire to get to know them. Because they're often talking to guys who are trying to hit on them. And if they're rude to every one of them, it's not gonna be a very good life because eventually some guys are gonna get pretty mean. So our next girlfriend of mine is a six-foot-one model. She can, you can walk up to her talks. She goes, hey, how are you doing, Stuart? So nice to meet you. She'll let you talk for 10 seconds. She goes, oh, I'm with my friends now, but it's so lovely to meet you. I might talk to you later and turn her back on you. And she's made you feel really good and she's rejected you in just a few minutes. So often the beautiful girls don't reject you that hard. What I've done today, I've done a brand new speech. So excuse me if I'm not particularly smooth. I was reading Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. Has anyone heard of that? Has anyone read it? My God, most people in this room are younger than me. I wish I'd read that 20 years ago. Go out and read it. It's no surprise it sold 80 million copies. And one of the things he does in that is he talks about the 20 ways people fail in leadership. And I ran through that list and I pretty much failed at 15 of them. I was pretty bad. Two or three of them I was actually really good and I was good in that area, but there were two or three things where I absolutely sucked. And the fact that I was failing in those two or three areas is essentially costing me more damage than anything. So that's my theory with women. I believe most men fail with women because they go out and they make the same one or two mistakes over and over and over again. Can you guys relate to that? So I've made a list of 10 of the mistakes that I've seen guys consistently make over my whatever, six and a half years coaching. And I want you guys to hopefully write down everything that I say and then pick which one or which two you think are really hurting you and then just focus most of your attention on that. Don't worry about all the other stuff, just focus on the one or two that's really holding you back. Okay, if I can introduce my head trainer, Rebekah, she's the boss of a team of eight girl trainers who come in and you get to approach them over and over again in our boot camps and they teach you social skills if you could sit down for a second. I'm trying not to swear much, but anyway. You've got to let a girl know that you want to fuck her. You've got to let a girl know that you want to fuck her. Sometimes women don't know you want to have sex with them, particularly if you're quite a desirable guy. And even if they do, 95% of women don't want to be the S word. So you've got to let a girl know that you want to have sex with her. Brazilian and French guys have no problem whatsoever with us at all. They do it in the first few minutes. English speaking guys, particularly highly educated ones, we're sort of too scared to ever do it. So this is roughly how you do it. You're sitting on a date, the conversation's going good. She's laughing at your bad jokes, you know they're bad, but she's still laughing. And what I'd like you to do is to start holding eye contact a lot longer than you usually would. Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact. And touching, touching, touching, touching. If the conversation's going really good, you should probably have your hands on her, you know, pretty much all the time. Huge tip, when you're touching women, it's like patting a baby duck or something. They're so delicate, you barely touch them at all. It has to be so soft. So you're touching them in such a way that they can sort of feel the connection of your energy to theirs, but they barely even know you're touching them. Actually it sounds geeky, but everyone practice on the guy beside them. Just touch, touch the person beside you's hand, and touch it as lightly as you possibly can. Nothing like a bit of audience interaction. This is a crucially important skill because lots of people tell you to go out and touch, but if you go up, like if it was my, I know Damien, if I see Damien at a bar, I'm like, hey, how you doing, man? How you doing, man? And he's like a bodybuilder, boxer build. It doesn't even worry him. If I go up and do it to Rebecca, hey, how you doing, buddy, how you doing, buddy? She doesn't like it so much. And I was probably as aggressive with Damien. Fantastic shoulders, man, as I was with Rebecca. So yeah, you touch women very, very delicately. Again, I always think of patting a baby duck. And once you learn that skill, you can keep your hand on them for ages and ages and ages. I'm jumping ahead here, but one of my favorite quotes about succeeding at dating comes from a great 80s philosopher by the name of Mike Tyson. And he looked into the camera, and I'm not gonna do a Mike Tyson imitation, and said, boxing is not about strength, speed, and skill. He says, boxing is all about spirituality. And it hit me, I'm like, what? And his claim, and I'm not gonna argue with him, was that he won the fight in the stair down. He never lost a stair down until later in his career. And if you look at the greatest boxer of all time, Muhammad Ali, I mean, he's one of my spiritual people I know of who's famous. So anyway, back to, you're on a date with a girl, and so you're touching her, touching her, touching her. Now the big trick, I believe, is when you look her in the eyes and shut up. I'm gonna do this in front of 40 guys, and it's probably not gonna be very good, but we'll try. And then you drop your eyes down to her lips for about five seconds, and you move back up to her eyes. Did you all get that? So eyes, 10 seconds, no talking, slowly down to her lips. And when you're doing this, don't think, man, I don't wanna fuck her. Think, oh my God, she's so beautiful. And there'll be some sort of spiritual energy connection that will happen, and the girl will feel that. And if you've done that, can you just explain to the guys what a woman feels in that situation if a guy does it correctly? I mean, that's the zing, that's the chemistry that all romance novels and rom-coms, that's what it's all about. So I don't know, I mean, you get the message. And the message is? You're obviously attracted, and you'd like to sleep with me in the not too distant future. That you wanna sleep, you wanna fuck the girl, that's the message. So yeah, eye contact, down to lips. Okay, can everyone, if you're watching at home, do this with the person beside you, can everyone interlock fingers with their next door neighbor like that? Please? It'll get you more sex, I promise. Now, how uncomfortable does that feel? Now, if a girl's not drunk and she's not some crazy party girl, if she lets you interlock fingers like that, this might be my kiss test, it's not an absolute guaranteed certainty, but it's pretty likely that you're doing well because it's just not comfortable. You don't wanna do this with a girl that you're not intimate with. I did some salsa at one stage, and there was some attractive girls there, but I had to interlock fingers with girls I wasn't attracted to, and it wasn't much fun. So it's quite a thing to interlock fingers like that. And another, probably one of the greatest lessons I got in my entire girl life, I was an astronomer in India, and I met these girls, and they taught me one of the simplest lessons of my life, but one of the most powerful. And Buryu Rebecca, I'm gonna teach you how to hug. So actually you might turn you around. Hopefully you're still here. Hug a girl, and just hold her gently, hand her a small over the back, and breathe when she breathes. You can tell her this if you want, just breathe in and out at the same time. I don't know, we're both starting to relax doing this just after a few minutes. And in the seduction community, thanks. There's all these incredible ways to get a girl into bed. That's the best. It's so good. I can tell you story after story after story how I met a girl in a bookstore and had her in bed within 50 minutes. And it's because of that, I go, I'll teach you this thing I learned in India. And I do that, and it produces some, I don't even know what you call it, some spiritual connection, some chemistry that could take three or four dates. And that's not all. You should see what the first night sex is like. It is out of this world because there's this chemistry between you, like you've already been together three or four times. So yeah, you have to let a girl know that you want to fuck her. Very, very important. It's not just that you get more sex, it saves you so much time. How many of you have been on like four or five dates with a girl and then it just went nowhere? How much time does that take? How many of you know that on the first two dates with that girl, she was probably very keen to sleep with you and she decided before the date that she was going to sleep with you but you just didn't take any action? So she might have been attracted to you initially. It saves so much time in your life. So let a girl know that you have a sexual interest in her by the three methods I've shown you and see what happens. Next time you're in a bar and you're having a good conversation with a girl, five, 10 minutes in, try what I just showed you, look her in the eyes, hold eye contact, drop down to the lips and look back up to the eyes. Try that and see what happens. I've done that many times. I've done nothing else. I've touched the girl in the arm and I've done that thing. And oftentimes the girl starts trying to initiate sex herself, which is wonderful. And if you guys have a date in the next few weeks, swear to God you're going to practice it within the first half hour. As soon as the conversation gets good, practice that and see what happens. This is really, really powerful. Remember what the great philosopher Mike Tyson said? Well, what I'm quoting Mike Tyson. Getting better with women, meeting them, approaching them, dating them, sleeping with them so that they remember you for the rest of their lives. It's all about spirituality. It's about an exchange of energy. I really love to pick on English-speaking white men a lot because we're really pitiful, particularly the really smart ones. Some of the best lessons I've had in my life were guys from Brazil or France. I've traveled with guys and met guys staying in backpackers who literally will sleep with more beautiful, interesting, intelligent American girls, Australian girls, Canadian girls in their three-month summer vacation. A lot of our guys do in their lifetime. Can anyone tell me why this is? Don't care. Sorry. Let me move things forward. Many of the Brazilian men I've hung out with, their philosophy with women is, I have a penis. Therefore, women will be attracted to me. Do any of you like that philosophy? Do any of you have it? You wouldn't be here if you did. The philosophy of most English-speaking men, particularly the very intelligent ones, is I need to do really well at school. I need to get into engineering, medicine, commerce or something at a good school. I need to study really hard and be one of the top graduates so I can get a great first-up job. I need to get work experience at a good company. I need to do postgraduate studies while I work and essentially work 50 hours a week and then go do part-time study another 20 or 30 hours a week. I need to leverage myself to help to get a nice car, place a nice postcode. Oh, and I need to go to gym and build lots of big muscles too. And when I do all that, I'll be really attractive to women. So while the Brazilian guy, when he's 14, he's sitting around with his buddies studying to become a master of pussy administration. Piece of fruit. Hey, how'd you do that with that girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she came like a motherfucker, man. As dumb, stupid, white English-speaking men and dare I say a lot of Asian men, we become engineers and doctors and masters of business administration. So you can become the master of pussy administration and get all this stuff when you're 13 and 14 or you can become a master of business administration and maybe if you're lucky, get it when you're 34 and you've got your second degree and you're earning 150 grand a year and you've got your German sports sedan and the Swiss watch and the Italian jeans and all that stuff. So if we had Bora Rebecca again. So the third, okay, the first thing was English-speaking guys were scared of making mistakes. The second thing is we don't let a girl know that we want to sleep with her and the third, oh my God, is my phone off? And the third thing we do is we don't lead. So I just want to have this for the camera. I'm standing over here with my buddy and I see an attractive girl and she looks at me and looks away and I look back. This is what you should do, very few of us do. No, this is an invited approach, it's not a cold approach. So it's your job to walk over and shake her hand it's your job to touch her on the side of the arm. It's your job to meet her friend and make a good impression on her friend. There's no way knowing she's going near you if you don't get the friend's approval. It's your job to start a good conversation. It's your job to find out what her hobbies and interests are. It's your job to find out how they know each other, how did they get there. It's your job, this is absolute goal, please write this down and do it. Touch a woman on the small of the back like I showed you before. The women feel like they're being led and again there's a very, it's just this exchange of energy. A lot of the times I don't even know that you're doing it if you do it correctly. She'll touch on the small of the back. It's your job to find out what her week looks like. Where does she live in relation to you? Is she drinking, is her friend drinking? How's she getting home? What are her plans for tomorrow? Is this a girl who's likely to go home with a man tonight or is she going to the church tomorrow and you'll be lucky to nail her by the fifth date after meeting her parents. You're going to know all these things. It's your job to make a good enough impression on the friend that you can maybe angle the girl away and angle a friend away so they're back to back so you can actually build some rapport with her without the friend looking over going, what's happening with him? What's happening with him? What's happening with him? And it's basically your job to get on a date and it's your job to plan the date as I'll talk about later. And it's your job to do all these things and it's your job to play the chess game that is trying to get a woman into bed. Do you guys see that? And if you can do an adequate job, thank you, of just some of these things, yeah, and you're an English speaking guy and you've just got one or two things going for you, your life with women will just go crazy because most guys just don't do anything. So what do most English speaking men do? Back to my guy who went to primary school and was an excellent student and all this became whatever he became an engineer, a doctor or something or a business person. The guy we're talking about is now 30 and this really smoking hot girl comes into the office and she's stacked like this and she's like 10 years younger than him. And man, she's hot. And he talks to her a bit when he's going out to lunch and then at the office Christmas party, something happens and he sleeps with her. And she's the hottest girl he's ever slept with. And they keep dating. And for the first two or three months it's good and then it sort of starts to go downhill. She starts nagging him and annoying him. But he's working really hard. He's still finishing off his postgraduate studies. So he just keeps dating her because she's hot and he wants to have someone to have sex with. And this sort of drags on and on and on and on and on and their relationship deteriorates. I should say this in many cases isn't the girl's fault. It's the guy's fault because he was never a man and went out and talked to lots of girls and met one that he really had a great rapport with. So they're dating and dating and dating and about three, four years later she starts to nag him. Let's get married. Let's get married. Let's get married. Let's get married. Because remember when he met her she was 24 and smoking. She's getting a little bit older now and most of her friends are getting married. She's going, oh I better go before I'm 30 otherwise. So she's starting to nag and nag and nag and nag and he's so busy and he's so stressed and she's nagging so much and a couple of his mates are getting married and they're going to weddings all the time. So he's like, oh what the hell, whatever. So he gets married and that all goes well and they have a lovely honeymoon. It gets a bit better. And then as soon as he's married it just disintegrates. The sex pretty much dries up. She nags a lot more. He just sort of hides in the corner and then lo and behold, a bloody kid pops out and he's sort of happy about that. He's got a son, yay, but he's still working so hard. And when he gets home from his 50 hour a week job his lovely wife comes up and nags him. Again, it's often not the woman's fault because the man was never a man to begin with. He thought if he got enough things, enough degrees he'd just be attractive to women. She's nagging him and nagging him and nagging him. Then another kid pops out and she's like, we need a bigger house. So he goes and borrows another million dollars and now he's basically chained to his job and his computer for the rest of his life and he's starting to get a bit down. He's got these lovely young kids but he can barely enjoy them because he's stressed out by work and she comes home and nags him. He's got no energy left. So what does he do? Sorry? Some of them do and it costs them a lot of money in many cases. Some of them cheat and they also do this as well. They get a favorite drink. In this part of the world I believe it's VB or Crown Lager and they pick a local football team. Um... Collingwood, for instance. And then they find a mate with lots of degrees who's in the same predicament and they sit together and they go, yay, go the pies, go the pies. If you're in Chicago, Shaggo Bulls or whatever or Manchester United, whatever your team is and whatever your poison is. I love this stuff, by the way. It's a few things better than Belgian or German beer but it is poison, by the way. So anyway, every Saturday the highlight of his week is turning on his big screen TV with his buddy, the girls out shopping or having coffee or something and he chews on the pies. Yeah, man, yeah, man, this is the happiest I've been since last time I cheered on the pies but they lost. And that's the highlight of his life. He's got so much debts and he works so hard. He's just trapped and lost. And he gets into his forties and he's never seen the Eiffel Tower. He's never fucked a French chick. He's never seen the Grand Canyon. He's never been to South America. He's never had a threesome. He's never whitewater after the scuba dived. He's got a $100,000 German carb. He's never actually gone in what you call a go-kart which is a hell of a lot more fun. He's really never done anything and he starts to get bald and fat. Anyway, his life's over. So what you learned from that story? You gotta be a man and go out into the world and get your own women and this isn't disrespectful to women at all. Women and it's probably the most important thing I'll say to you tonight. Women don't respect men who can't go out and seduce other women of their caliber. Do you guys get that? That's so important. I'm a bit older than most of you guys and I've seen my mates who work in finance go through this. If you can get a hot woman because you make good money or you're good looking or you've got social status, it might be great for a while but in most cases she will destroy you and it's not necessarily because she's bad or like some of them are, it's just because you weren't a man and you might have been the best offer she got and you just married the hottest girl that fate dropped in your path and I sincerely believe the work that James and Damien and I are doing is gonna have a profoundly beautiful impact on the world, particularly the English speaking world because go to, what's it here, Taurak. Go to Taurak or the Upper East Side or the better parts of LA. That's the story of so many men who are smart and successful. Anyway, where were we? I got carried away with my story. So next time a girl looks at you in a bar, again, this is an invited approach and you know, if a girl looks at you in a bar for more than like a second unless you've got a booger hanging out, you know, or something, it's quite possibly because she's excited to you. She wants to talk to you. So next time that happens I want you to repeat this mantra. It's a gentleman's job to try to fuck a woman. It's a gentleman's job to try to fuck a woman. And most women, they just don't wanna be responsible for sex. They want a real man to sweep them off their feet in the moment. Watch pretty much every, you know, every romance movie, except I'm starring Hugh Grant. Every romance novel, it's all about some dashing guy, possibly a guy slept with lots of other women who sweeps her off her feet. So they don't want, you know, you've gotta take action, you've gotta take action. Why the hell weren't we taught this stuff in school? I hear you ask. Actually, I'll quickly tell you why we weren't taught in school. Do you think the corporations and the government society want us to go out and be really confident and successful with women? I checked Wikipedia Thursday. Anyone guess the three richest countries in the world if you take out countries with populations under 10 million? Australia, Largica's the mining boom, Canada and America. And that's possibly because we're the most retarded with women. You don't see Ukraine or Colombia or Venezuela up in the top few countries because they're meant to get laid and get hot girls regardless. They don't actually need to work for it. So, from when were little boys they put these Victoria's secret models in front of us and, you know, hot girls everywhere and they link it to a German car. Who had a picture of a Lamborghini or a Ferrari with a really hot girl on it growing up? How's that associate of conditioning? Genius, absolute genius. You get that car, which possibly costs more on your parents' house a few years back, you'll get that girl. Or you see, what's his name? Donald Trump, Puff Daddy obviously, Hugh Hefner who's 80 or even the nice guy Richard Branson. Most times you see them photographed. What do you see beside them? Hot girls. Maybe Richard Branson isn't sleeping with them. But yeah, we've been told since we were little boys you get the car, you get the life, you get the job, you get the hot girls. So, okay. To be successful with women you've got to learn a skill set. It's just like if you want to be successful at golf or surfing or running a business. There's a skill set you need to learn. If you have this skill set you will be successful with women. I mean, you can be massively successful with women. If you don't have this skill set you'll never be successful with women. And even if, because of what you are or what you do, you get a good woman, she's probably gonna make you so miserable you wish you didn't have her. And I get a lot of clients in their 40s who think that. So, success with women is a skill set. Confidence, which is what women want the most comes from knowing what to do. Confidence comes from knowing what to do. And this skill set involves things like I was showing you with Rebecca. It's touch. It's eye contact. It's how to start and sustain a good conversation. It's how to plan a date so that it's fun and leads the bed which I'll get onto in a second. Because of all the things I've talked about tonight it's so easy once you get these skills and you apply them to beat the vast majority of other men in America, Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom. Because most of us don't approach women even if a girl looks at us and stares at us in ways we still don't approach women. If we ever do we're drunk. And a lot of us compared to certainly European men don't dress that well. And a lot of us are just obsessed with work. It's really easy if you just take a few steps to get really good at this. Point number five, lacks energy. Does anyone have a hazard to guess why people who are rock singers and surfers do pretty good with women? Sometimes incredibly good. And a lot of computer engineers and charred accountants don't. Can anyone have a guess why that is? Can you talk some more? Sorry? Yeah, can anyone tell me why? Very good. And what are the other guys doing? Sorry? Good guess, good guess, yep. Yep, okay, some great guesses. My belief and maybe I've spent too much time meditating in India but my belief is when someone's lead singer of a rock band you got all these guys supporting you and you got all these people cheering you on you're picking up a tiny little bit of all their energy. If you do a good job, you're picking up a lot. Surfers, they're not stuck in cities surrounded by petrol fumes and cars and toxic people huddled over a computer watching TV never getting near a tree or the ocean. They're out bloody surfing. They're picking up the massive, almost never-ending energy of the ocean and particularly waves. So I think most people what they really want in life is to get more and more energy. That's really why a lot of you and me want hot women because when you walk around with a hot woman everyone thinks you're great and they look at you and they give you energy. That's why rich people buy houses with great views. So I believe it's so much about energy. In my opinion success with women comes down to two things. It's having the skill set to be good with women that touch the eye contact and it's having enough energy. You need, how much energy do you need to approach a woman in a bar? Mountains. Mountains just to even get started. Even to approach in a bookstore you need a little bit. How much energy do you need to do to start a good conversation? How much energy do you need to ride over uncomfortable moments which is a huge part of being successful with women? How much energy do you need the first time you lead her back to your house and into your bedroom? You gotta be absolutely throwing energy on her like crazy. So at every stage of getting better with women it's really about energy. How many of you have a mate with a big smile and lots of energy who's not very good looking, who's not very bright, who's not very anything, who gets lots of women? Yeah, whereas you've got an IQ of 120 and you're huddled over a computer and you have most of your sex while you're on the computer, which is pretty sad. Anyway, I shouldn't. I should say I was worse than anyone. I was the biggest retard when it came to women on the planet and I'll take you on. I was essentially a virgin till I was 31. I had three minutes of sex when I was 27 and that was like a mercy fuck because the girl had the choice between sleeping on the floor and being the third wheel with a friend of mine who was sleeping with her friend or coming to my queen size bed in an okay apartment and sleeping with me. I think on the third night I was so scared the first time I had it. I managed to sort of get it up for about three minutes and it went up, I mean sort of like that. It wasn't like anything impressive. And I think I just touched her nipples when I came. So that was my first sexual experience at 27 and it was another four years until I had a second one. So, but ironically, I wasn't a superstar but I had a great job. I had a good income, I had big muscles and I was good at sport. I'm really skinny but I had big muscles then. So yeah, I did have a few things going for me but I profoundly lacked certain social skills. Like if someone left me alone in a bar just for five minutes I would shit myself. Unfortunately, I smoked back then which wasn't as much. I like to chain smoke and I'd chain drink. I just couldn't stand being alone in a bar by myself which was really funny. And there was so many very, very simple things about women I just didn't get. So to get better with women you do need to have a certain understanding of women. And I was so bad socially that I was okay at public speaking because it was part of my job. I could do a presentation to, you know in some cases over a thousand people on a topic I knew and I wouldn't really be nervous at all but before the presentation started if I had to go around and meet people before the presentation, guess what I'd do? I'd run to the bathroom and hide. I'd sit there on the toilet hoping no one came to get me to talk to people. I had no problem going out to give a presentation but to just walk up to someone and say, hello, I was terrified. A lot of you are looking at me like you don't believe me but I promise you it's true. So, lex energy. Can anyone guess what I think is the number one cause of approaching anxiety? Certainly for most of my clients. Very good guess, not quite. That's big too. You do need to know what to do otherwise you probably get rejected a lot. But if you don't know what to do you just walk up and say, hello I'm whatever your name is with a bit of energy. You'd be surprised how many girls will actually talk to you particularly if you dress okay. I think the number one cause of approaching anxiety is computers. Does anyone, can anyone relate to that? Great, I've got a fairly good story about that. I worked for charisma arts for four years and I went around the world. I don't know how many 15 cities I did boot camps in. New city every week. I'd got two or three nervous students who were like shitting themselves. And I gave them a quick lecture. I took them out to bars. I mean, they were nearly dying. These, James and Damien can tell you when you're out with students on the first night it's like just their energy is just killing you because they're so nervous. But I'd go with that. I'd do a couple of approaches. You see that? See that? Yeah, you do that. And then I'd get them to approach women. I'd do this in new city after new city and I'd slept with God knows how many girls and I was doing that and several models and two girls and one boot camp and this sort of thing. Got three sims out of it. And it wasn't really that much bother at all. It was a bit tough on Friday, but I got through it. Now I'm trying to run my own business. I sit in front of a computer 30, 40 hours a week. Man, when I do a boot camp on Friday I've got to warm up for like two and a half hours. I'm jumping down like a moron. Actually, one of my favorite exercises a bit of hide the microphone is this. I call it the semi-raw. Actually turned the sound down. I got this from yoga. And sometimes I do that in the street. But if you do that a couple of times, I'm serious. How many times have I done that? Yeah, I'm an absolute idiot. I'm singing Bohemian rhapsody of the cab driver at the top of my voice. Just before I did this speech I'm not too ashamed to admit it. I took my shirt off and ran up and down the park because again I've been hunched over a computer. You know, most of the week and I'm staying in a horrible hotel room. You've got to warm up, you've got to warm up. If you walk into a bar from a computer and talk to hot girls, I don't think you're gonna do it. It's just so hard. If you get out of a mutile sparring ring or go from having a surf or go from jamming with your rock band and go talk to girls, yeah, you might do pretty well. You'd probably do very well if you know what you're doing. You have to separate computer time from approaching time and socializing time. And for you really smart guys who are engineers and doctors and stuff who are huddled over a computer a long time, man, if I was you I probably wouldn't even put pressure on yourself to be social on Friday. I'd work your five day week and if you want to go out on Friday just go out with your mates and have a few beers and if there's opportunities and you feel okay, take them but don't beat yourself up after working a week on a computer if you can't approach girls. Because I can't, there's no way I could. Oh, I mean, I may be able to but I would really struggle. However, if I take sad day off and I do something fun and athletic and particularly getting into nature it's quite easy for me. So yeah, do not try to mix computers and left brain thinking with socializing and seduction because it makes it very, very hard for you. In terms of to-dos for that I've already mentioned quite a few of them. Um, lots of clients are stock brokers, guys who work in Palo Alto. I've said buy an old Nokia. You are banned from your shiny new iPhone 5 on Saturdays. I don't want you to touch any screen over the weekend. No TV, no computers, no your iPhone and in many cases it doesn't have as much electromagnetic energy but because you're concentrating your energy on such a small space it's probably worse. Socializing is this, you know, iPhones like that so stay well clear of your iPhone. These are for guys who are struggling if you're not struggling, you know, do whatever. But if you are having problems I'd highly recommend that. Actually, I'm close to buying an old school phone for that very reason. Deep analytical thought, keep that well away from socializing. Oh, by the way, how many guys do you know who are really intelligent or really good with women? Like none? It's a disadvantage, it's like one maybe, okay. Highly intelligent guys tend to suck with women and if you want to get better with women you really need to give yourself a lobotomy because it's just even really intelligent women. Women feel, I once dated a very beautiful girl who had an IQ of 155. You know, women feel, men think and really intelligent men think all the time so you're at the opposite end of the spectrum to what's attractive to women. I mean, these Brazilian guys are coming over here, they can barely speak a word of English, they've got no money in their pockets and they're getting so many girls not being able to speak and it's not because they're intelligent, it's because they take action, they've got lots of energy. I've got to be careful with this. If you've got toxic friends, ditch them or minimize your exposure to them because who has gone out approaching girls with a guy who's negative, who talks game all the time. How well do you do? You might as well go home, forget it. You've got to go out with positive people so stay away from them because if I've got a bootcamp of four or six students on it and one of them has a lot of negative energy, I don't mean he's nervous, that's one thing I deal with all the time but like a lot of negative energy is not a nice person, he doesn't like the world. Oh man, that just kills me. Absolutely kills me. Reserve everyone's a good person, it's so much easier. So get rid of, dare I say, toxic friends. Improv classes, that was one of the best things I ever did. I did all I've done in my life is a week of improv and that transformed my conversation skills and so much with women. Salsa as well, I haven't used that much myself but I highly recommend that. Cool. The other thing is they're scared of beautiful women, 0.6. There's very good evolutionary biological reasons why we're scared of beautiful women. Basically, if you get a really attractive woman, you're scared that someone in society who's a lot more powerful than you back in village times, you know, the village head or the village warrior, generally the most attractive women are the possession of the football players or the corporate executives. So we're scared from a village life brain or ancestral brain that when we get a hot woman someone's going to come with his mates and sticks and killers. So there's real reasons you're scared of that. I don't think that's going to happen too much in Sydney. Certainly not around Surrey Hills, I can tell you that. Someone might send a really mean tweet about you or something, that's a bit the worst that's going to happen. The second thing is in the little village life where there's about, oh, has anyone here visited a village in a third world, lived there for a few nights? It is one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life. I highly, highly recommend that Thailand, Indonesia. You can get one close by, particularly one if it's a Buddhist country. Anyway, village life, you're in a village of 50 people and there might be two hot girls of a childbearing age. If you approach one of them and do a lousy job, guess what happens? That James guy, he's such a dork, he's such a dork, he came up to me and he tried this and he's so wanted to fuck me, but he was so hopeless. That's reality of what happens. So our brains are processed. If I do a bad approach, I ain't going to be any little Jamie's running around the world ever, I'm wiped out. So there's very good reasons why you are scared of women and to some extent your battle is to overcome them. But what's the population of Melbourne, three and a half million? Doesn't apply at all. I mean, it's just not even important. Okay, if you're scared of beautiful women, I would highly, highly recommend, I used to say if you want to have sex with 10s, first wherever you start, day to six, then day to seven, then day to eight, then day to nine, then day to 10, roughly. Now what I say is make friends with a 10. It's almost, unless she's really close to your social group, it's nearly impossible to actually have a 10 as your girlfriend unless you really, really, really understand women. Maybe she's a cocaine dealer, but he probably really understands women. It's nearly impossible. So you've got to find the quickest way to get that knowledge and us guys can certainly help you, but just make friends with a really, really beautiful woman and you'll learn so much because they grow breasts when they're, whatever it is, 14, and they just walk around on this red carpet. It's the strangest thing ever and all these wonderful things happen to them and they might achieve in study or law or sport, but no one cares because they're just hot. So it must be really hard for beautiful women because it's just such a weird life. All these things are just given to you for no reason at all. If you're a professional athlete or something, you've worked really hard before you get onto that red carpet whereas she's grew breasts one summer and suddenly, and yeah, the psychology of beautiful women is absolutely fascinating, but yeah, make friends with a beautiful woman. Okay, a lot of guys go out and they go out to bars and they plan exactly what they're gonna say to women. I'm not a big fan of that. What I am a fan of is planning your dates. If you want to get, if you're quite good already, and you want to get dramatically better with women, the number one thing you can do is plan your dates, which I might call logistics. Does anyone want to pick a city? You can pick it. New York, Sydney, Thailand, India, Melbourne, New York. I was living in New York for a while and I had an apartment, a bedroom on the lower east side and one time I was doing acting there and another time I was there with two or three other times I was there with charisma arts and I met quite a few girls through boot camps and this sort of thing and every girl I met, I took her to the same place. It was this really funky cafe where everyone had piercings and tattoos and I sort of walked in there with Ralph Lauren Polo Shows completely out of water. I was really nice to staff, I tipped them well and I'd bring these girls who thought I was some sort of low grade yuppie and I'd bring them to this cafe and they go, what's he doing here? And then I'd walk them across the road to this park and I knew there was this little piece of grass which was like a mound so I'd sit them down on that. I'd bring a towel and then I'd sit with them maybe for half an hour, an hour, two hours. I would just really, really enjoy ourselves, maybe I'd go for a bit of a walk around and at some point I'd lay down and look at the stars and there's very few things in the world better than New York in the spring and sometimes the girls come over and lay in me, sometimes I pulled them down there and I'd just sit with them like I showed you earlier in the hugging demonstration with Rebecca, I'd just hold them and hold them and hold them. Sometimes for like 40 minutes or an hour, we wouldn't even talk and I'd be sneaky and synchronize the breathing so they got all attracted to me and then I'd just say something completely lame like I really feel like an old gray tea or do you wanna come back and see my travel photos or do you wanna see my balcony which was like spectacular, it was on the first floor overlooking a road but yeah, and you couldn't even step on it because it was so thin but I just had some lame excuse and I took them back and oh, one thing I forgot, when I took them out of the cafe as soon as we crossed the avenue, I took their hand. Some of them resisted and I let go of the resistance was too much, I took their hand straight away and as I demonstrated with Rebecca, I was touching them while we were sitting in the park. So anyway, we leave the park, we go back for the cup of tea and I go to see my spectacular view and I take them into the bedroom and I sit them down in the bed and I let them take the bit beside the wall and we just talk and talk and talk and talk and I hold eye contact, I make no effort to do anything and in most cases, the girls tried to kiss me. Do any of you see anything strange with my story so far? Yes, specifically what haven't I done? What's the girl hoping I'll do with a nice date like that? Very good, we don't have chocolates to give people. Yeah, make out with her. So she's met me, we've spent this lovely two, three, four, five hours or hour together and she obviously likes me, she's gonna date with me. By the way, if a girl goes on a date with you, she likes you, okay? Write that down, underline it. Even if she wants a free dinner, she's probably not gonna put up with you for an hour and a half. Uncomfortable just to get some free food. So I've taken her through this whole journey and I haven't kissed her. So what's going through a girl's mind in this situation? When's he gonna kiss me? When's he gonna kiss me? When's he gonna kiss me? Why isn't he kissing me? Does my breath stink? Doesn't he like me? Do you think I'm ugly? Did I do my makeup well enough? I shouldn't have worn such a low-cut top, you think I'm a slut? Just all this crap goes through her mind and it really confuses them, which is cool. And so I get her back in my bed and by this time I'm holding a 100% icon.